Return Of The Boom Bap

Let’s not waste any time on this Blog because it has potential to be a pretty good one. I hope I just didn’t jinx myself on that one, but the first thing we’ll get off my chest is about the Yankees weekend series with the Mets, a la the Subway Series. After putting the beat downs to the Red Sox (our supposed rival), the Mets crackalack us big time. They sweep the series in 3 games. That’s ok though, as the Yanks are still up big on the Sox. I’m not worried about them at the moment, but we’ll see what happens. Which Yanks were selected for the All Star Game (played on July 13th)? We’re rolling Jason Giambi, Derek Jeter, and Alex Rodriguez as starters. That’s three fourths of our infield. And the fourth member of the starting infield? Alfonso Soriano, who was the Yanks’ second baseman for the past few years. On the bench offensively is Gary Sheffield. As far as our pitchers go, relievers Tom “Flash” Gordon and Mo Rivera round out our squad for the American League. One spot is left to select, as the fans get to vote on that one.

Yesterday I had some HUUUUGE (as Chris Jericho would say) action going on. Not pimpin action unfortunately, but something even better to me, and that’s sports. First things first. I started the day with a big workout. My boy Spank went with me to workout as well. Sometimes I want to go there and workout and not be bothered at all. Kind of do my own thing. But other times, it’s nice to have a buddy to there to motivate you and help you by spotting. I was feeling fairly strong on the bench yesterday, so I figured I’d try something kind of heavy for my standards. I put 225 pounds on the bar and the most I’ve gotten it before was 3 times. Yesterday I was able to get it 4, so that made me happy. Not too shabby for a little guy I must say. After working out, I hit up the tennis scene with none other than Big Cork Dizzle. We sensed some big rain coming, so we didn’t have much time to kill. We went to my old high school’s courts which are the closest to us. The first 5 games or so, we got wet, but it was cooling things down, so that helped. We’re no good (then again, nobody around here is), but it’s a fun sport to play and you get some pretty mean exercise in. The funny thing is that we took 4 balls and ended up coming home with only one. We’re usually real good about saving our balls and very rarely lose one. We both hit one on the roof of the school, and Cork had another go out into the woods next to the court. Oh well.

On a side note, everybody’s favorite hot dog eater, Kobayashi beat his record once again. In 12 minutes, he eats 53 dogs, no joke. And dude is only 130 pounds. He beats these big fat guys and puts them to shame. Nobody ever touches this guy. It’s something to see.

After some tennis time, and a quick shower, I roll to Subway to get a meatball sub with extra cheese. Once I ate that, I get a call to play some streetball at the local outside courts. Indoor ball can’t even come close to comparing with some good old school streetball. It’s not even an argument to me. Two totally different games for the most part. Inside ball is more slow-down, halfcourt style battles. Set up the offense, blah blah. But once you play streetball, it’s straight up run and gun the entire time. You are also more free to try some crazier passes out there on the blacktop and it’s rougher. You see guys getting up in each other’s faces and see who the true crybabies are. It’s always funny to see guys whine and cry out there on the blacktop. If you can’t hang on the court, get off. It’s always nice to play under the lights as well. We ran 3-on-3 for about a half hour or so until a few of our buddies from Clarksburg came down. Then we ran 4-on-4, perfect for our court. For the locals, it was myself (5'10"/160), Ozzie (5'10"/175), Sweet Pea (5'8"/160), and Scotty Wetzel (6'3"/230)taking on Barron (6'0"/175), Sims (6'5"/190), Chad from Clarksburg (5'6"/150), and some Aaron dude (5'11"/165) from out North Marion way. Those heights and weights could be off a bit, but those are just my guesses. It was tight and my crew ended up getting beat by 3 or 4. We ran to 50, playing by 1s the entire way. I felt good out there. Although I’m obviously not a banger inside, my game is to stay outside, run some point, make some good passes (I’d much rather make a crazy pass than to score personally), and do the pure shooting thing. A lot of guys who can shoot good inside can’t always shoot good outside. It’s a test to show who the real shooters are once you get outside in the open, air coming through, and endless background behind the baskets. I was draining from deep. I mean, if they’re going to let me fire up wide open 20 footers, I’m going to light it up to the best that I can.

My cousin Mitch (Ozzie) got all kinds of fired up as usual. He takes it out on himself though, so it’s not like he’s getting anyone else mad. I’ve done really well lately with my temper in ball. 99% of the time I’m super laid back, but when I’m on the court, I get pretty worked up. Ozzie was kicking the ball into the baseball field nearby, spiking the ball down, and all sorts of stuff. But he’s intense out there and I’d rather play with those type of players than just regular bums who play at half speed and don’t help you win. And the necks were in effect for the 4th, but it was cool to play under some neck fireworks as we balled it up. I felt like I was inside my favorite movie. I’m not even going to say what that is, since you all know I talk about it way too much.

When I got home from ballin outta control, I watched a special on a channel called Trio. I’ve never watched anything on the channel, but apparently it’s a channel about music, entertainment, and all of that stuff. Last night Chuck D of Public Enemy fame was hosting a 2-hour long documentary on 2Pac and Biggie. Like everyone else reading this, we’ve seen zillions of documentaries on these two before and most tell the same thing. Not this one. I learned a lot from this one. They went in depth about how Death Row Records had LA cops working for them off-duty and secretly, and gang members. They also tell why these cases will probably never be solved. The information they give makes it seem like it’s solved, but maybe people involved are too scared to go through. They interviewed Biggie’s main bodyguard and he picked out the guy who killed him, yet they still can’t do anything with it. They talked to Biggie’s Mom, 2Pac’s biological Dad, Suge Knight (went in depth about how Snoop is scared to death of what Suge can do to him one day) friends and members of their posse’s, a lot of cops, and tons of others. I have it taped, so it’s definitely a keeper. It’s hosted by this British dude, so it’s funny to see this British guy rolling through the projects getting all of these interviews.



We’re close to ending this thing, I promise. Last night I also got into the mood to download some more CDs. Me and Cork are pretty disgusting and greedy when it comes to downloading stuff, but hey, it’s out there, might as well get it. Last night I was in the KRS-One mood. I downloaded three albums of his, Return Of The Boom Bap (1993), I Got Next (1997), and A Retrospective (2000). For those who don’t know KRS, you need to get in on his stuff. He’s from the South Bronx and has been in the rap game for almost 20 years. He’s one of rap’s legends and as far as straight lyrics go, he’s one of the best ever. I’m not sure many people want a piece of KRS in a rap battle. I also got Eminem’s first album, which not a lot of people even know about, Infinite. This was from 1995 and Em is fairly laid back in it compared to newer stuff, but it’s a great album. The rhymes are creative as he always does. He sounds younger in it (of course he would in 95), but the talent is noticeable even then.



And to end.. Please check out Big Cork’s latest Blog (http://corkzilla.blogspot.com) for his weekend update. Lots of funny party stories there from Posey’s place on Saturday (I didn’t go that night), as well as his version of our Monopoly battle from Friday night and tennis action yesterday. RAW is on tonight, so I’m off to eat dinner to gear up. See ya on the flip side.

Monopoly & Happy 4th Of July!

Honestly now, does it get any better than an intense game of Monopoly. Sure, online Monopoly is pretty sweet (www.games.com), but this was the real thing. I’m always due for a battle of Monopoly, but it’s tough to get something going with my crew. How real was it? I’ll just let Snoop Dogg take us on a little journey to say how real it was, straight from the greatest song evar, Nuthin’ But A G-Thang:

And that's realer than Real-Deal Holyfield
And now you hookers and hoes know how I feel
Well if it's good enough to get broke off a proper chunk
I'll take a small piece of some of that funky stuff

It's like this and like that and like this and uh
It's like that and like this and like that and uh
It's like this and like that and like this and uh
Dre, creep to the mic like a phantom

How about that little pimp with some big earnings in Monopoly. He knows how it's done.

Instead of Dre getting on that mic like a phantom, I’ll take reigns of the Blog the rest of the way. Thanks for the help though Snoop. I have to set the scene. Last night, I get a call from my buddy Posey. He’s a local guy, but lives in Maryland now, so only gets a chance to come in a few days a week. His chick lives in Fairmont where they have a place, but he called me up. He asked if I was doing anything. Like I ever do on a weekend night. So I obviously said nope and asked him what was the deal? He asked if I wanted in on some Monopoly action. You just don’t say no to that one. It’s like a sandlot game of baseball. It’s tough to organize nowadays, so when the offer comes, you drop what you’re doing (in this case, me living on the internet 24/7, so it wasn’t like I was busy during the call) and make the trek. Cork was up for the battle too, so I waited on Cork to get out of work to pick me up. My boy Spank comes over and he’s also a big Monopoly guy, so he jumped on the offer. We roll to Fairmont in Cork’s pimped out beast, jamming to some Project Pat.

Once we get there, we have to deal with one of those 2 pound dogs that jump 20 feet in the air and yip and yap. That was a problem from the beginning. What he needed was some Sweet Chin Music to the face to let him know his role. Also, we had to deal with the cigarette action, but since it’s Monopoly, I can handle being around smoke. You have to pull all stops for Monopoly, so you focus out on what is going on around you other than the game itself. We set the game up and it’s myself, Cork, Spank, Posey, and Posey’s girl Scherri. My piece was the hat if anyone needs specific details. During the game, we order chicken strips from Papa John’s. This was my first time getting chicken from Papa John’s and it’s underrated. Me, Cork, and Scherri get one order a piece. Big Spank doesn’t mess around as he can out eat anyone, gets three orders for himself, and has it gone basically in the same time that I finished my one box. Spank also had the move of the night. He pulled the Randy Orton (wrestler; for those who don’t know that move, it’s the funny fake to a person like you’re about to drill them in the face, but come up like an inch short to scare the life out of them) to the dog all gangsta style. That shut the dog up for quite a while. Oh, you wanted to know how the game went? Well, I came in 3rd Place. Respectable, but by no means was it dominating. I always say though, I don’t care if I come in last place in Monopoly, I have just the same amount of fun as if I was winning. I just love long games is my thing. Posey went out first, with Scherri coming in 4th. And TEH WINNAR was Big Cork Dizzle. He hoared all kinds of property and made out like a bandit for a trade early in the game that helped soar him into Donald Trump status. I didn’t get the ghetto properties last night (dark purples), so that was a disappointment. That’s by far my favorite pieces to own. What’d I own? I owned all the light blues, both utilities, and all railroads. You’ll have to check in with Cork (www.corkzilla.blogspot.com) to hear his side of the Monopoly game, as I’m sure he’ll say more in depth of his strategy in his next Blog coming late tonight possibly.

As always when I’m with my boys, I hear a random assortment of chick advice. Not that I’m looking or anything, but that doesn’t mean I’m not paying attention to the pimp game that Cork and Spank put on. A classic quote from Spank last night was, “If ya ain’t a husband, don’t be a husband.” Basically what he’s saying there is don’t be with them 24 hours a day and be their slave. Then he goes on to say that no point of being with a chick unless it’s something serious. He’s not the type to play games I guess, so he’ll tell it how it is. Cork’s chick situation changes by the day, but I wish him the best of luck in his slangin game. If you read his Blog, you’re caught up on his world. Spank’s girl has an Italian/Catholic roommate who likes to cook and clean. There has to be something I’m not seeing there right? That’s the highest of high quality there. Stuff you can bring home. But I’m not looking. Besides, I have no cash flow coming in during the summer. Being a bum is fun.

With July 4th happening this weekend, does it get any more funny (funnier? teh funny?) than rednecks setting off fireworks. I’m not sure how it is in most areas across the country, but necks around here get fascinated by blowing up stuff and setting fireworks off. It’s like the greatest thing evar to them. They can’t afford to buy anything all year round other than beer and cigs, yet they always seem to put more money into their fireworks than the local fire department does. That theory always has me cracking up. As the saying goes, “they don’t have a pot to piss in”, but buddy look out on July 4th. Little kids in the street almost getting lit up by these crackheads, old neighbors not knowing what is going on, and all kinds of madness. It’s entertaining stuff to see. Sad, but entertaining.

After Monopoly last night, I get home around 2:30 or so. I thought the game would go on for much longer than that, but oh well. Then I proceed (“as we proceed” as Puff would say) to talk to my buddies online that don’t sleep such as Cork and Derek, among others that were around in the wee hours. The night was just beginning. Although I didn’t accomplish a thing, I was still up to 7:30 in the morning. Yes, I’m an idiot. I wake up at 2:45 and my sinuses are killing me. At 2:50 as I’m watching the Yankees game, Spank rolls over and is ready to battle in ping pong. Granted, I just walked downstairs and sat down, but like Monopoly, you can rarely turn down a good game of pong. So without eating and being a mess, I battle and battle some more. Between me, Dad, one of my uncles (6’5”/240 who plays a mean power game), and Spank, we had some great matches going on. Spank was at it again, as he’s really been on lately. His spin game really has an advantage on a power player like me. And for the first time evar, he beat Dad, so that’s an accomplishment.

After I’m done ringing wet after hardcore pong action, I get a quick shower, do the shaving thing, and then roll to church. And since Snoop helped us out earlier, I’ll let him in with a few more of his quotes at the end of my post. “Chuuuuch! Preeeeaachhh!” On tap for the rest of the night? As DerekHood would say in his Blog, JACK SQUAT! But that’s ok. I’m sure I’ll still be up all night. Happy 4th of July to all and to all a good night. Or something.

Jetaaaaahhhhhh!

What’s up you big pimps? I’m back with another dose of madness for you to hopefully enjoy. I’ll start out with a group new CDs I got this week. What did I load up on in alphabetical order? Akon’s Trouble, Goodie Mob’s One Monkey Don’t Stop No Show, Jadakiss’ Kiss Of Death, Lil Wayne’s The Carter, and Spice 1 & MC Eiht’s The Pioneers. All of these came out this week or last, so I’m up to date on the rap scene as usual. The Pioneers is an awesome CD if you’re into some good Bay Area rap. Between me and Cork lately, we’ve been going mad on some CDs. It’s almost impossible for us to organize them anymore, as we’re always loading up on like 5 or 10 a week. And I’m one of these weirdos who organizes his CDs by alphabetical order. That’s more work than I need, but I freak out if stuff isn’t all neat and perfect. Obsessive compulsive? I dunno.

Today (well, yesterday when you read this post) is Canada Day! I guess it’s like our July 4th? Who knows. Tonight I just got done watching some of my town’s fireworks. We have them tonight since nearby towns have them the rest of the week. It’s packed out here for this night. This will be a quick into for July 4th. Sunday night you know what you all have to do? I insist you watch the GREATEST movie evarrr in The Sandlot. It’s all about the 4th of July there. You even get them playing ball under the fireworks one night.

I’m jumping all over the place in this Blog, but you’ll have to deal with that one. As Judge Smails said the other day to end my Blog, you’ll get nothing and like it! But I’m giving you something, so don’t cry, dry your eyes. How about the Yankees game I just listened to on the radio? First of all, as I’ve said a million times, it just doesn’t get any better than baseball on the radio, not even porn. 13 innings! We just got done SWEEPING the Red Sox. Now they’re 8½ games out of 1st Place, with the Devil Rays on their tail. What’s gotten into Boston lately? It’s getting ugly up there. We beat them without our best two pitchers as well. Kevin Brown is injured and Mike Mussina wasn’t scheduled to go this series. As I was talking to #basketball legend, Blahah, we talked all through the game about the Yanks/Sox matchup. He got to watch it on TV in the mean streets of Maine, while I got the radio broadcast from the Yanks. But I’ll post his comments he said as we tied the game and then ended it with a John Flaherty homer:

DaBoMB0034: DMAALKUFOEIU
DaBoMB0034: DAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNN
DaBoMB0034: damn.
DaBoMB0034: miguel cairo?! WHO THE FUCK
DaBoMB0034: what was a great win turns into a devasting loss
DaBoMB0034: before you know it, the devil rays will be in 2nd

Anyways, during the game, check out the play Jeter made in the 12th inning. Or as Max Kellerman would say in his New York accent to get co-host and Sox fan Michael Holley fired up, “Jetaahhhhhh!” Say what you want about him being overpaid (I’ll argue that), say what you want about his stats not being the same as other star shortstops (I’ll agree, but stats aren’t everything), but give me the intangibles. Yankee haters hate that term, but give me Jeter any day of the week on my team compared to the other shortstops out there. He’s been the glue to our team for the past decade. Even with A-Rod here (best player in the game arguably) on our team, Jeter still runs the show in The Bronx. Susie, don’t worry, he’ll be ok. 

What’d I get into today? I woke up at 12:30 (not bad eh?) and hung out for a while and then mowed grass. After that, I shot up some ball and got a decent workout in. Cheese raviolis for dinner though, mmm.. Seems like my buddies get into all kinds of chick drama. Hopefully that gets better for them. You need to check out the drama Cork has going on (might be settled now?) and the advice that DerekHood gives him. Cork isn’t afraid to spill it all out. He’s doing some serious Big Pimpin, not bad mane. While you’re bored, give those guys some comments in their Blogs at http://www.corkzilla.blogspot.com and http://www.thekingofcrunk.blogspot.com. They’d appreciate it. Also, the one and only ManDingo updated his a few hours ago at http://www.mandingo04.blogspot.com.

Whooo!! Getting all excited for an eBay auction I won that may come in tomorrow. Or if not, hopefully by Saturday? What is it? I’ve probably talked about it here before, but it’s every single Beavis episode evarrr. Even the ones that ran on Liquid Television before they had their series. And a few copies of the movie. All for $20. That’s a steal and you can’t put a price on something like that, which is the greatest show in the history of TV shows. I’ll go down fighting as I argue that one.

I want to right more, but I’m in a daze. I’ll catch back up with you guys soon. Time to watch Caddyshack on TBS. One.

13½ Hours And Then Some?

You know.. I had one of those legendary days on the internet yesterday. Or maybe it wasn’t so legendary, but I’ll see what you think. I woke up yesterday at 12:30 PM (not too shabby for the summer) and go to bed at 6:45 AM. Throughout that time, I was literally online for rough 13½ hours. I got out of my seat just a few times all day. I ate “breakfast” from 12:30-1:00. Then I get online till around 3:30. Spank comes over until 4:00 since he had to go to a cookout and we watch some Rucker Park streetball on NBATV. After that, I hop back on here till around 5:15. Then I take Mom to the car dealer to test drive a new car and we go to the store to pick up a few things for dinner. After eating Italian sausage sandwiches and baked beans, I get a quick shower. Then, with nothing else to do, I hop back online. So this is about 7:30 and I’m on there till about 9:57. I actually get out of my seat and sit in my other room to watch the Real World finale. Then at 10:30, I’m back here. Over the course of the next 8 hours that I was awake, I think I got out of my seat twice during that time period. One was to make some taquitos which took about 8 minutes and I brought that up and another was to go wizz and brush my teeth, floss, and all of that fun.

I wasn’t tired at 6:45 when I decided to go to bed, but I figured I better. It was daylight and my parents had been up since like 5:15. Birds were chirping and people were actually getting their days started. Imagine that one. I can handle that during the school year when I have to, but I’m not about to be waking up early when I get to be a bum all summer. I think someone is always awake at this house and there are only three of us. Yesterday reminded me of the glory years of #basketball. We don’t have the crowds we used to (yet still get good chats), but back in the day you could walk in at any time of the day and get some great sports talk going. It was always classic to walk in around 5:00 AM and hang with whoever was still awake and see the foreign crew stroll in. Those were times that we only got out of our seats a few times a night too, so I wasn’t the only one doing that. Sad probably, but it was some great entertainment. How can you pass up some mean games of sports trivia? I can remember many a night when me and DerekHood would still be in there until around 8:00 AM. Anyways, I wake up today at 1:20 after setting the alarm. Setting the alarm that late? Well, you’ll have that when you’re up all night like an idiot with an awful sleeping pattern. But remember the moral of this story. Nobody can beat me in a staying up late contest if I’m put to the test.

Back to last night we go. Two big things were on my list of TV watching last night. Besides, TV watching is what I do best. Those two things if you were in a coma since my post the other day? The BET Awards and the Real World Finale. First up was the BET Awards. I get stoked for this every year. MTV Music Awards are nice too and I don’t miss those, but I like the BET ones better since it’s 3 hours of music I like instead of seeing some things I’d rather not. Live performances this year included Kanye West, Jay-Z, Usher, Ludacris, Janet Jackson, Alicia Keys, Outkast, G-Unit, and a bevy of others. I think that’s the only time in my life I’ve used the word bevy, so you guys get to experience the thrill of having some educated words in my Blog or something like that. Jay-Z had the nerve to bring Kid Rock and Dave Navarro on stage with him to jam guitars. You have to be kidding me. I’m a whitey just like those guys, but not many whiteys really fit in at the BET Awards. It was just a strange scene. I don’t think the thugs knew how to react. And I never was big on the whole rap/guitar jamming combo. Run DMC and Aerosmith worked it good, but that was straight old school and rare. Speaking of old school, my favorite part of the show was the 25 Years Of Hip Hop performances. Some legends of the old school rap world were there on hand to do their thang. Who showed up to perform? Public Enemy, The Sugarhill Gang, MC Lyte, Mellie Mel, and Slick Rick and Doug E Fresh. Slick Rick and Doug E had the roof coming off the place. Doing songs from 20 years ago and it had the place jumping. This year’s Lifetime Achievement Award went to the Isley Brothers. Ron Isley may be the most pimpin guy of all time. Dude is in his 60s and still can do it. If you’re into the pimpin R&B stuff, check out some of his stuff over the years. Five decades strong he’s been going. You’ve seen him in some R-Kelly videos if you don’t know who he is, also credited as Mr. Biggs. For the guys looking to set the mood, you can’t go wrong with some Isleys. I will not argue that one. Try it on your chick. Just a bit of the daily advice you get in the Madhouse, thank you.

Then we got the Real World San Diego Finale. I was disappointed in this episode. One, it was only a half hour, when the last one should always be an hour long. I feel strong on this one. Secondly, there was only one drama maker and that was Big Bad Brad getting cuffed up once again. They were going bar hopping one night and Cam (who is underage) was having problems with her fake ID at the club. In da club gettin tipsy. So as the door chick is looking at her ID and asks her questions, Brad for some reason grabs the ID out of the door person’s hand and yells, “Run Cammy! Run!” I felt like I was watching Forrest Gump. Then three huge coppers throw Brad against the wall, rough him up, and give him the cuffs. As he’s in there, they tell him that what he did can be considered as robbery since he took the item in question out of the worker’s hand. The worst they were going to tell Cam is that she wasn’t allowed in and take her ID away. Big deal. But Brad was thinkin Big Pimpin and it worked. As Cammy was riding home in a taxi, she saw Brad on the streets walking. She got all excited that he talked his way out of getting put in jail and she wanted him like she always does. Maybe I’m doing things the wrong way here in Shinnston. I better turn into a hardcore drunken tough dude to attract chicks. Then sweep the chick off her feet with some heroic deed. Brad isn’t quite CT from Real World Paris level (then again, who is?), but he did make a name for himself this series. Next week we get the Reunion Special, which should be decent. Frankie Lavigne is back and is wearing some crazy mess on her head, which comes as surprise to nobody.

That’s it for today I believe. I could write about the working out and ping pong escapades, but I’ll save that one. Right now I have to get so fresh and so clean in the shower after doing those two things and hit up some Wal-Mart action with Cork Dizzle. Wal-Mart is big excitement in West Virginia. What else is there to do? It’s too gangsta around here to do anything else.

And a scene from the greatest movie evarrrrr, The Sandlot, taken from the great movie site of IMDB.com:

[The Sandlot Kids and their arch-rivals come face-to-face]
Phillips: It's easy when you play with rejects and a fat kid, Rodriguez.
Benny: Shut your mouth, Phillips!
Ham Porter: What'd you say, crap face?
Phillips: You shouldn't be allowed to touch a baseball. Except for Rodriguez, you're all an insult to the game.
Ham Porter: Come on! We'll take you on, right here! Right now! Come on!
Sandlot Kids: Yeah!
Phillips: We play on a real diamond, Porter. You ain't good enough to lick the dirt off our cleats.
Ham Porter: Watch it, jerk!
Phillips: Shut up, idiot!
Ham Porter: Moron!
Phillips: Scab eater!
Ham Porter: Butt sniffer!
Phillips: Pus licker!
Ham Porter: Fart smeller!
Bertram: [sniffs] Ahh.
Phillips: You eat dog crap for breakfast, geek!
Ham Porter: You mix your Wheaties with your mama's toe jam!
Sandlot Kids: Yeah!
Phillips: You bob for apples in the toilet! And you like it!
Ham Porter: You play ball like a giiirrrrrrrrl!
[entire group stands in shocked silence]
Phillips: What did you say?
Ham Porter: You heard me.
Phillips: Tomorrow. Noon, at our field. Be there, buffalo-butt breath.
Ham Porter: Count on it, pee-drinking crap-face!

Most Head

Today’s winner of the topic choice of the day goes to none other than TheFreak. He’s a buddy of mine from the #basketball days of old in the glory years from the mean streets of Baltimore. Also a huge wrestling fan, he stumbled across a WWE house show (non televised show) result page and the ending caught his eye. The show was from a few nights ago in Salisbury, Maryland. To fill in fans on why this will be so funny, a “pop” is a good crowd reaction as far as cheers go for a face (good guy in wrestling terms), while “heat” is crowd noise generated towards a heel (bad guy). If you’re a good guy, you want to get some good pops. If not, you’re boring and aren’t attracting the fans’ attention. Same goes for if you’re a bad guy, you want negative cheers, if not you’re boring. Wrestling websites get reports sent in by fans that went to these shows and they’ll post it for their website. Most house show reports finish up with a ranking of pops and heat of the night. Here’s what one guy wrote in, and the typo is what had us cracking up. I feel like my middle school kids. I’m laughing at the same jokes I did when I was their age. I’ll never grow up. How does someone who was in middle school and high school during the Beavis Era not laugh at immature stuff? Anyways, here we go with the end of the report from some regular bum:

Overall the event was awesome. I had a blast.

Biggest Pops
1) Chris Benoit
2) Eugene
3) Edge
4) Jericho

Most Head
1) HHH
2) Kane
3) La Resistance
4) Trish

And all of this time I had a lot of respect for Triple H. And he’s doing this behind my back? If only his wife Stephanie McMahon would find out about this, hah. I can see Trish on this list. And even La Resistance since they’re Frenchies and the crowd thinks they’re gay anyways, but onto more serious things, such as what I’ve been doing..

Last night thanks to my girl Jenn Jenn (the same Jenn whose brother almost ate the 64-ounce steak the other day that you read about; if you missed her comments on the story, it’s under my Prime Rib posting, it’s a good one), I’m hooked on a new game online. What might this work of genius be? It’s a game called Password and it’s featured on Uproar.com. For the #basketball guys, you all remember Uproar for our Sports Jeopardy battles on there that went down to the wire until blood was drawn in the wee hours. There’s a zillion games on there, but Password is pimpin. Go to “Game Shows” and you’ll find it there. You can play with up to 10 people in the room. Each person gets a chance to be the “clue giver”. A clue will pop up for the clue guy and he’ll give a hint. Everyone else tries to guess what his winning word it. Trust me, this is some hardcore addicting stuff and the games go by pretty quick too. Another game I’m hooked on lately is one of Yahoo’s and it’s called Pop And Drop. This game will get you frustrated after a while. You think it’s easy, but it’ll get ya. It’ll suck ya in till you’re up until daylight playing it. Good times for sure.

Today I lifted with my boy Spank and he showed off his freak of nature skills in the gym. I had a really big workout today, but didn’t set any records. Probably had my best ab workout in a while, maybe evarrrr, but who knows. Spank was there lifting with his girl Alicia while I’ve been there for about 45 minutes already. Spank starts out on the bench and starts throwing up weights like it’s nothing. Spank is about 6’0”/240 and is my buddy who was in Iraq for over a year if you know him as that dude. He had 275lbs on there at one point and I was spotting him just to be safe, although he didn’t need me for that weight. He ripped off 4 real easy and I made him rack it. I didn’t want to burn him out on that. So we jump up to 315lbs. He gets the first one up like it’s his job and almost got a 2nd one. I didn’t know how to react to that mess. He could’ve maxed out at around 330 or so we were thinking. He can bench press two of me basically, sick. I can’t be for sure, but I’d be willing to say that Spank has the town record at the moment. My Dad in his prime maxed out at 315lbs, so Spank is going to be way ahead of that. Back in the day when a lot of guys in my town and roids were the in thing to do during the late 80’s and early 90’s, we had some freaks who did some outrageous things. You don’t see that as much now, so that’s why I think Spank has the top mark. I could write a Blog up on just some of the numbers and stuff they did. I saw one guy bench 505lbs about 15 years ago, no lie. Dude was about 6’4”/275lbs or so and all jacked out on roids. Did they look good? Sure, they looked awesome. But I couldn’t ever do that one. To me that’s cheating, but oh well. It’s funny to see a lot of these guys nowadays and see what a mess they’ve become. Once you get off the roid cycle, in most cases, it turns to fat and you get way out of shape. The guys who I used to be amazed at as a kid when I’d watch them lift, now they sit home and can barely get out of the couch. No thanks to that one. I’ll just stay my little self and work on getting cut up more.

After working out, I got in some mad ping pong action. Me and Dad rolled out 7 games, I won 5-2 today. He’s gotten me the past few times, so I had to get even. Don’t let the old guy fool ya and tell you he doesn’t have it anymore, because he does. He’s still a pong legend around here. Then Spank came over around 4:30 for some intense action. We played for a good 2 hours of solid pongin madness. We played whoever won 10 games first would be the champ for the day. He got up early 2-0 on me. Then I went “Boom Bazooka Joe” (as Big Rand from Real World would say) on him for 7 straight games. So I was coasting along at 7-2 and dominating. Lo and behold I start slipping fast. Spank evens things out at 7 games a piece. Then we even it out at 8 a piece. After the final two games going to some of the best Deuce finishes evarrrr, he takes the day title and wins 10-8. I’m out there to win every single time and can get all kinds of fired up if I lose, but if lose, I don’t mind losing with some good close games the entire way.

If you’re still awake after reading this post, the conclusion is coming here in a bit. But I must get in the talk about RAW that I just got done watching. RAW is my favorite time of the week, so you get that whether you like it or not. Since I went off on last night’s PPV and already got some wrestling talk in courtesy of TheFreak’s find, I won’t talk about RAW too much, but you’ll get some. Jericho/Edge beat Orton/Batista in what was probably the best match of the night. These guys seem to work well together. Also, we see HHH give Eugene an invite to join Evolution and he takes it. HHH fights Regal tonight with Eugene as ref and Eugene ends up busting Regal up like crazy. I thought that was kind of funny. And in the main event, we saw Benoit make Kane tap out, to get him a shot at HHH at Vengeance. Lita comes out (worst actor evarrr) and tries to be buddies with Kane and then kicks him in the nads. Then he was about to give her a Chokeslam, but he put her down since she’s pregnant with what could be his kid. Only in wrestling.

Since you’re tired from reading this huge thing today, who knows when I’ll be back. It may be late tomorrow night (Tuesday) or it could be Wednesday. Tomorrow is a big TV night for me, as I have the BET Awards on at 8:00 and then the Finale of Real World at 10:00 (stop reading this paragraph now Meggie, unless you wanted to be spoiled as to why I’m excited to watch this week) which pits Bad Boy Brad getting cuffed up once again. That has to be worth it to see what he does to get the law all mean this time.

And to end with a classic quote from a classic movie, Caddyshack:

Spalding Smails: "I want a hamburger... no, a cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake..."
Judge Smails: “You’ll get nothing and like it!”

WWE Great American Bash & A Few Other Thangs

I’ll start things out in this Blog (and take up the majority) with some review on tonight’s WWE Great American Bash. So for the non-wrestling fans, I’m not sure what to tell you. Just bear in, pull up a seat, check out the Blog, and enjoy the ride. You may just learn something. Can I continue my Pay Per View streak? At the last PPV, I went 100% in my predictions. That is VERY rare, even for us who read every single rumor there is about wrestling and keep up with it.

John Cena (C) vs Rob Van Dam vs Booker T vs Rene Dupree. Fatal 4-Way US Title Match. This is an elimination match for the belt. I picked Dupree to win this one. To much dismay, my boy RVD goes out first, ugh. He’s not been on good terms lately with the WWE. Second man out was Dupree, doh! This guy is becoming one of my favorites, but he was ousted early. So much for 100% this time around eh? So we’re down to Cena and Book for the title. Cena wins with a F-U to retain in what was a pretty nice match indeed. Afterwards, Dupree puts the moves on Dawn Marie in the back who was looking amazing, but the FBI and Lil Guido eventually are the ones to take her back to their hotel for some good times. It looks like Dupree is after Cena though, so that’s a nice one.

Charlie Haas vs Luther Reigns. Not much here as I’m not impressed at Reigns at all. Reigns is playing Kurt Angle’s bodyguard for those who may not know him. Haas just doesn’t seem to have it without Rico tagging with him anymore. He just needs an edge or a character makeover. A blah match, ugh. Luther wins a Roll The Dice type move.

Chavito Guerrero vs Rey Mysterio Jr (C). Cruiserweight Title Match. Outside of the 4-Way, this is the only match I can say that I enjoyed and it was a really good one. Little guys are so underrated, but since Vinnie Mac doesn’t care about them, they’ll never rise to the top. Instead, he’d rather push guys like Luther Reigns instead. These guys battled for a good half hour or so probably. There’s not too many cooler moves than the Gory Bomb. Rey Jr wins with a rollup to keep his belt in the best match of the night. Not much to compare to though unfortunately.

Kenzo Suzuki vs Billy Gunn. Wow.. I heard a lot about Suzuki, but he sure didn’t impress me tonight. This one was brutal. Lots of missed spots, no crowd reaction, pathetic. Gunn teased some old DX stuff though, so I hard to mark out for that. Suzuki wins. Big deal. It was rough to watch.

Sable vs Torrie. Since neither of these chicks can wrestle, it was just for the guys (and some chicks who are into that thing) to get some eye candy as they bounced around and showed their stuff. Sable conned Torrie into thinking she was hurt, so Sable wins a rollup.

Mordecai vs Hardcore Holly. Wow. Another absolutely horrible match. Mordecai is a total joke. How this dude keeps getting on TV, I have no idea. Oh, that’s Vinnie Mac. I like Vince a lot, but not his reasoning for pushing big oafs who can’t do anything. This makes me want to put in my NWA-TNA tapes to see some great action. Fear The Phenomenal AJ Styles. Anyways, Mordecai wins with a Razor’s Edge. I wish Razor Ramon would’ve came down and busted his head.

Eddie Guerrero (C) vs John Bradshaw Layfield. WWE Title Texas Bull Rope Match. To win, you had to touch all 4 corners consecutively before your opponent started beating you down. In the last SmackDown PPV, they put on an awesome match. They were bleeding like pigs, to the point that Eddie seriously had to be taken to the hospital after the match since he lost so much blood. This one was the total opposite. So JBL is our new champ. Not a whole lot to say other than I was disappointed.

Dudley Boyz (C) vs The Undertaker. Concrete Crypt Match. If Taker didn’t “do the right thing”, his manager Paul Bearer would be buried in concrete. I can’t make this stuff up. Not a lot of actual match time here, but the end had Taker pull a reverse and he himself poured the cement on Paul Bearer, thus maybe showing his alliance to Paul Heyman? Taker wins the match, but it wasn’t for the tag belts.

Instead of going 100% here, I end up going a whopping 12.5%, doh! I got one dang match right this time. That’s how it goes in wrestling at times. A really bad Pay Per View. There for a while, we’ve had some nice ones, but this one isn’t that.

Back to the real world for anyone falling asleep on the wrestling chat. I got carried away there, but that’s life. Not much went down today in the mean streets. I woke up at 12:30 (not bad huh?) after going to bed at 4:15 (again, not bad huh?). Then after laying around the house, me and Cork hit up some Mexican. I stepped up with a beef enchilada and 2 cheese quesadillas. Then I get online to chat with my buddies until the Pay Per View started. Fun fun times here, right? Not much I can really do to hype up the Blog other than wrestling talk, which only is good for probably half of the viewing audience, but I have to talk about all kinds of things here. Some days you might hate my Blog. Some days it may be pretty good. But it’s there and regular, so be sure to hop along. I’ll see what I can hit you guys up with tomorrow. RAW tomorrow night, Real World and BET Awards on Tuesday, so I have a packed start to my week. Who knows what goes down after Tuesday though in the madhouse.

☺☻♥♣◘○

Can I get some rest? I don’t think I’ve had more than 6 hours of sleep during any night of the week. But then again, I’m used to that and it’s all my fault. I guess I’ll never grow up. I always think I’m going to miss something late at night, so I just stay up with a driving headache until I’m almost falling asleep on my keyboard. We all know I’m not missing anything though, but it can’t hurt to try. The way I look at it, I’m doing the same exact thing at 6:00 in the morning on here that I’d be doing at like 11:00 in the morning. So why not just sleep all day long? As I roll into bed, I go downstairs to brush my teeth, floss, and all of that to get me all pimped out to sleep, and usually then my parents are already up, having their coffee and reading the paper. It’s weird. Someone is always awake at this house it seems and there’s only three of us.

I’m just getting in the house from being out all day for funeral duties. That whole experience ended up pretty well. It’s always emotional walking with the family to the casket for the last time. What really set it off was the actual funeral itself at the cemetery. My Grandpa served in the military back in the day, so he had the whole setup for that. A few Color Guards came and presented the casket, draped the flag on it, saluted it, and all of that official stuff. Then they played Taps with the trumpets (I think?) and that was pretty rough, but it was cool to see how the military dudes folded up the flag. I don’t have enough common sense to do something fancy like that, but it’s quality to see it done in person. After that, we had a huge dinner at my church for family and friends. They guessed that 150 or so would be there just to eat, so the old Italian ladies had to cook hardcore for that one. It was worth it though for sure. Good to see the out of state relatives. Some I’ve never really met before, so that’s always good times.

How about the sporting world? The Subway Series with the Mets hasn’t gotten off to a good start. We’re battling in Yankee Stadium this weekend and in Shea Stadium next weekend, so that’s always rowdy rowdy and bout it bout it. Yesterday’s game ended in a monsoon as it was postponed. Today’s game was a beatdown. Remember the Halsey kid I’ve wrote about before? The dude who doesn’t look like he’s shaved in his life. He pitched today and got murdered. 6 runs in 3 innings, doh! That gives his 2 major league starting appearances a 8.00 ERA. We got 6 hits all day, as 68 year old Al Leiter tore us to shreds. Tomorrow is the rubber match to be settled at 8:05.

What else goes down tomorrow? WWE Great American Bash. Don’t you mean WCW Great American Bash? Well, they took the name from WCW and use it for theirselves now. This looks like a pretty lame Pay Per View, but I hope I’m wrong on that one. It’s a SmackDown production and their side of the roster is not comparable to RAW’s if you ask me. Maybe I’m biased on that one, but who knows. Who knew? What are some big matchups in that one to catch your eye? How about Eddie Guerrero defending the WWE Title against John Bradshaw Layfield in a Texas Bull Rope Match. Or how about this one, which I’m most looking forward to: Fatal Fourway for the US Title that features the man Rob Van Dam, Booker T, Rene Dupree (budding young superstar), and John Cena. Dudley Boyz take on The Undertaker in a Concrete Crypt Match. If Taker doesn’t impress Paul Heyman, Paul Bearer (Taker’s manager) goes into a casket and has concrete poured on him. I can’t make this stuff up. And another huge match I like is Rey Jr against Chavito Guerrero for the Cruiserweight Title. Those are the main matches worth mentioning. Torrie and Sable take each other one, but that’s just to rip each other’s clothes off. Not that us guys mind that (some of the girls reading may like that too huh?), but it’s not “wrestling”.

It’s time to plug out some links for the newbies to my Blog. Or if you might’ve forgot some of my favorite places to go, here’s your chance to catch up:

Lobstah: http://lobsterrodeo.com/balls (The Madhouse known as #basketball’s message board. We talk it all in here. If you want the best sports chat, hit us up. If you’re not into that, hit up our movie, wrestling, anything goes, or Blahah’s special section.)

Big Cork’s Blog: http://corkzilla.blogspot.com

DerekHood’s Blog: http://thekingofcrunk.blogspot.com/

ManDingo’s Blog: http://mandingo04.blogspot.com/

Boston Sports Guy: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/simmons/index

OHHLA (Original Hip Hop Lyrics Arichive) http://ohhla.com/all.html

Rap CD Release Dates: http://www.geocities.com/cdreleasedates/

Mini-Putt: http://addictinggames.com/miniputt.html

So hit up those links of my buddies’ Blogs, some sports sites there, rap, and games. I’m covering all bases for you, free of charge. And Al Jefferson has the nerve to wear my boy Antoine Walker’s #8 Celtics jersey? Say it ain’t so! And I was liking this kid. That’s rough, but I’ll have to suck it up and stick with him. I’ll holla back soon. Fill up that comment box.