Lunatics, Dirty Thug Hoes, & Basketball: Niiiice!

Halloween is almost here for people that get pumped for that. Saturday I got into the spirit of things a little earlier than usual. Shawna and I had planned to hit up the Fright Farm in Pennsylvania. After not many of our crew was interested in going and with the weather being sort of rough, we passed on that option. Instead, we went south a bit instead of north, to Weston, West Virginia. Here, we hit up the Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum. Yes, that's the correct naming of the place, which cracks me up everytime I hear it. Basically, it was a former crazy house and now it's revamped to where tours are given and Ghost Hunters filmed an episode there as well. They had a haunted house and we figured it'd be worthy since the building was old school and had that creepy look to it. We get there around 9:00 and the place is way packed. On top of that, I was freezing my nads off the entire time. We got to talk to some bums in the line and that kept us entertained, but the wait was 2 hours until we got in, no joke. Surprisingly, even though it was cold, we stayed patient and toughed it out. It was $15 a piece to get in for those wondering. They also had a flashlight tour that you can get during the daytime as well and supposedly that was worth it too, hard to tell.



Now it was time to enter the building. The detail they put into the haunted house and the actions the people did inside, I was pretty impressed with. One thing I was not impressed with though was how it wasn't even close to being scary inside. I'd be one to admit if I was a wuss inside, but everyone agreed that the scary factor was almost nonexistent. The little kids inside did the best job on what they were supposed to do, but I think we were laughing more than anything else. Thumbs down though to blinking lights in a way dark room, that was blinding me. It was interesting when we'd get lost and didn't know what halls to go down and then out of nowhere one of the characters inside would guide us. I actually liked the trip. The setup of the area and building was enough that I thought we got our money's worth, but if you are going purely on wanting to wizz yourself inside out of fear, it won't bring you to those levels, sorry. Wanting to know more? Click here: http://www.trans-alleghenylunaticasylum.com.

You know I love random. This next topic is about as random as it gets. Since the inception of the Dirty Thug Ho section of here, it's been nothing but a hit with people who kill their time reading my writings. Thanks to The_Freak for being the mastermind behind that project. A little note if you were wondering, The_Freak wants it known that next month will mark the 2½ year point of the Dirty Thug Ho. I was checking my email the other day, and it may not even be legit, but seems to be. If one of my buddies is messing with me on it, they did a nice job of making me believe it's true. This was a comment I got on the September 1st blog and I found it in my email the other day. I'll post the email, one you'll like for sure. You've all wondered how the girls that get selected feel to be honored in the space. Some could be fired up, some might even think it's good times. This one, she's pumped, and that works for me:

So, I'm reading your blog and it is quite entertaining. I appreciate your "Dirty Thug Ho of the Week" title- http://www.myspace.com/goddessvaleria the last thing I won was a gift card from Linens n'Things for winning a company contest at my green collar job-just as good. Yay me!

I'm not the sushi fan that Shawna is, but I can eat it every so often for something different. The other day we hit up Shogun for some sushi and whatever else they throw at ya. For the first time ever, I dipped my taste buds into some cooked eel. Surprisingly, it wasn't horrible. I doubt I'd get it again, but I liked getting it just to say I tried it to make a story. I was asked what it tasted like and I had to think. My comment was that it tasted a bit like burnt trout. Yeah, that's a weird comparison, but that's just what came to my mind. I can now add that to cow brains, squirrel brains, and frog legs as weird creatures that I've eaten in the past. Who knows what will be next, stay tuned!

The next section, if you're not a basketball fan, you might not want to read. What? You're not a basketball fan? For shame, especially when it comes to the ultimate thing, NBA. Howevahhh, it's time to break down what went in action on Sunday. That would be the A#BA Fantasy NBA Draft. I ramble about it enough, but this is the #basketball mIRC chat crew that has been together for a good decade plus, some of us longer than that. Yes, we're ate up with fantasy sports and even if we're dorks for it, I'm proud to say I could be hooked on worse things. Sad to say that two thirds of my life I have been playing fantasy sports, since around the age of 10. Gotta start the kiddies early. We began the draft at 7:00 PM and it was led by Commissioner TyLaw, straight out of Canada. Who else do we have in the league? Not that you care, but they all deserved to be listed, so that's my reasoning. We have Kasher of blog fame, Neon, Chester Cheese, Wilbur, Vertigo, Cork, Chiphead, EJ, DerekHood, Don-G, Duce, Morello, TMac, Blahah, Walz, Big Play Ray, Trev, ManDingo (he's been all over the blogs lately, he's on a streak), TyLaw as mentioned, and myself. I'm big on the diversity of the league too. Not only do we get different ethnicities, but we have people spanning from all over. Just to touch on a few, Canada, West Virginia, Brazil, Arkansas, and even Maine are part of the mix.



We all keep 5 players. This is a 10-category head-to-head roto league, so it's very in depth. It's also about as competitive of a league as you'll ever find and no other league can touch our message board. 20 members of the league, that's hardcore. My 5 keepers are Dwyane Wade, Danny Granger (stud in the making), Andrew Bynum, Andre Iguodala, and Mike Conley. I had the #2 pick in Sunday's draft and went with my boy OJ Mayo, just like I have him in the EDDFL. To save you anymore anticipation, ladies and gentlemennnn, just as I intro into all of my fantasy teams, here is yourrrrrr 2008-2009 Memphis Sounds!

1. Dwyane Wade: Miami
2. Danny Granger: Indiana
3. Andrew Bynum: Los Angeles Lakers
4. Andre Iguodala: Philadelphia
5. Mike Conley: Memphis
6. OJ Mayo: Memphis
7. Marc Gasol: Memphis
8. Yi Jianlian: New Jersey
9. Eric Gordon: Los Angeles Clippers
10. Nick Batum: Portland
11. Roy Hibbert: Indiana
12. Charlie Bell: Milwaukee



I'm happy with my crew. I always say if you leave Draft Day unhappy, it's going to be a sad season. I'm a positive person, so I'm going in with some good expectations. My team is insanely young, as it always is. In fact, I'm older than every single person on my team. That shows how old I'm getting when 29 is considered a trusty veteran in the NBA, it's true. Then again, at that age, The Basketball Jesus himself, Larry Bird, might've been in his absolute prime. Maybe that's a warning to all of the Shinnston ballers this fall when we start up, hah. "I keed I keed!"

My days are so screwed up that I'm a week off. On the video game scene, and I'll bore you more when it comes time for it, October 11th doesn't mean Election Day to me. Sure, I'll be voting as I never ever miss a day at the polls, even for the tiny elections that are sometimes meaningless with nobody opposing. That day marks the day that Call of Duty: World At War comes out and I'm crazy excited for it. I have it paid for already and just counting the minutes until I start to get consumed with it. Between Call of Duty 5 and the NBA starting, this is an awesome time of the year for me. We're also closer to Christmas, feel the excitement! Anyways, for the past week or so, I had been thinking that COD comes out next Tuesday, but I end up proven wrong as that would be November 4th. You'd think I'd remember that, but it somewhat shattered my hopes, but I can make the wait. Also, I was dealt a crushing blow in that they won't have a midnight release at GameStop on Monday night. Instead, I'll have to wait till Tuesday between 11:00 or 12:00 in the morning to actually pick it up. Yep, I have it rough in my life let me tell ya, I'll see if I can survive.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: The_Freak gets credit for being the mastermind of this section as previously mentioned. When it comes to selecting the dirties, when I go to the readers, I think Arizona Jas wins that as she's been in this section a lot with easily the most recommendations. She's back with another, this one from "Hollyhood, California". I don't think this girl has a bit of hood in her body, but she apparently thinks so. http://www.myspace.com/andreagroener

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Blood! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fVDGu82FeQ



3 Quick Thangs:

1. Let's go with birthdays from Thursday, October 30th. 1988 Presidential candidate Michael Dukakis, 75. Henry Winkler, The Fonz, 63. Boxer Larry Holmes, 59. Soccer guy Diego Maradona of Italy fame, 48. 1990 Heisman Trophy winner, Ty Detmer, he's now 41. Actress Nia Long, 38. Not bad, but nothing write home about either. It's just kind of there, it happens.

2. October 28th and we've gotten the first snowfall of the year in my area. As I type this, it was coming down fairly decent during the afternoon. A few inches a predicted over the next few days. That's nothing major, but still for October, I'm pumped to see snow in the air. I'm one of those weird ones who loves winter way more so than the heat. Bring on some big snow!

3. Today's weird fact? 2500 left-handed people die each year using products designed for right-handed people. Somehow that doesn't seem correct to me, but I'll take their word for it.

Blackwater Weekend, EDDFL, & S'mores!

What does this blog feature? I'll be able to ramble on a good bit here, for it was a huge weekend for my standards. Saturday was spent hitting up Blackwater Falls with Shawna and Sunday was one of my favorite days of the entire year with my boys, the EDDFL Draft. I'll get into more here in just a few if you're lost, so stick with me and don't give up. While you're buying the Halloween costumes for next week as you go either with the funny style or if it makes you feel better to be all slutty, have at it. I'll leave that choice for you, but until then, just grab the cup of hot chocolate and dive into some reading material to keep you busy for a few. That's about all I have to offer. And away we go..



October is about over and Saturday it was time for a trip to get out of town. You know I'm all about road trips. This one wasn't far away, but it was still far enough to get out of town that it felt like I was away. Confused yet? I went about 2 hours away to Blackwater Falls in Davis, West Virginia. I know West Virginia gets a bad rep for all of the stereotypes (some true), but as far as scenery goes, we have some high quality spots to check out. I figured it'd be much colder than it was that day. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't warm, but I liked how it was. Later in the night, it got to be pretty chilly in the mountains, but a trip I enjoyed. There was probably the most people I've ever seen up there. I assume people were like us and wanted to get there as the leaves were changing and all of that. Yes, we're going to state parks, we should be 65 years old by now it seems. The way I look at it, we could be going to a lot worse places. Also, it served a purpose to get some pics that everyone has been bugging us to get for a while now. I have more on the MySpace page for anyone bored to see, but a few will get thrown up here.

To go along with us feeling like we're 65 years old, we hit up a few shops along the way. I'm a sucker for buying homemade products from around the area. I like buying random things, especially on a little getaway. I ended up getting a bottle of wine from Lambert's for the parents, gotta hook them up. Lambert's is in the rough streets of Weston, West Virginia. At Hiawatha's in Elkins, I loaded up on a jar of homemade strawberry jam from Gap Mills and a WV History activity book to use at school with my kids since I have a class of that. Before going to Sirianni's (more on that in a second), we rolled into Nanny's, a small bakery/deli. If I see a deli, I'm in, you have to at least check one out. We walk in and smell fresh bread cooking, not a good idea since we're doing this before eating a big meal. There I get a thing of pepperoni rolls and a bag of fresh wheat hoagie buns. I'm not even going to explain either of those for anyone that doesn't know. And no, the "hoagies" in your area are not the same from the ones in our area, you have no idea, but I won't argue that.



Part of the trip was a stop to Sirianni's Cafe. This is a place I've written about before that I hit up a decent bit when we're up there for trout fishing season. If you're ever in that area, it's a spot you need to drop in on just to say you've been. It doesn't look like much, but has an old school traditional feel when you walk in that makes the atmosphere. I always say it's like getting my haircut. I don't pay for the haircut with my barber, I pay for the experience and wise words of wisdom that one can get. You never know what to expect. The only downfall to Sirianni's is that normally you have to wait. This time, we only had to wait about 20 minutes, so I'll take that. They tried to split groups up and sit us at a table with about 10 other people, but they didn't need to be all up in our business. I could've rambled on to these bums with no problem, but it wouldn't be the same, so we wanted a table just for us. Hey, I'm a hopeless romantic, deal with it. As far as the food goes, I loaded up on a dish called Sal's, which is a pasta dish with spinach, cheese, pinenuts, garlic, and tomatoes. I'm telling you, that thing rocked big time and it's one of my favorites on their list.

Sunday! Yes, the day that me and my boys have been waiting for. With NBA right around the corner, that means it's fantasy basketball time and we are consumed with that to which words can't even describe. I listed the guys in the league last week, but it can't hurt to recognize the E-Town Diaper Dandies Fantasy League (EDDFL) members for your enjoyment in the order we drafted: Spank, myself, Fortney, Riley, TJ, Cork, Posey, Mudcat, ManDingo, Sidell, Fleece, and Ozzie. The setting? That'd be the Fairmont Sports Garden, filled with machines for the gamblers to blow their money on as well as enough smoke to burn our eyes for days. Everyone knows my thoughts on smoke anyways, so I won't bore you to death with that. I still always love the Ozzie quote from an Atlanta road trip a few years back of how he wants to get someone's cigarette and burn it on their eyeballs. That's pretty brutal, although I do like the way Ozzie thinks, but the moral of this story? Put the smokes down or your eyeballs might get sizzled in fire. Anyways, enough of the educational advice, it's time to jump into the heart of what makes our year go by so smoothly, NBA!



The place we draft at is perfect for us. It's nothing fancy by any means. We have to bring our own food in and all of that, but it adds to the excitement. We do have a big TV that Fortney is a king of operating the remote on as we flipped between endless NFL games all afternoon. Also, since it's somewhat of a bar setup, the chick tells us that our pop (soda for you weirdos) is free. She didn't know what she was getting herself into is what Dingo was laughing about. We did tip her real good and some of the crew bought beer, so it wasn't a lost cause on the establishment, but we tore those pops up. As an added flavor, the hit of the day as far as food goes was thanks to Mom making sausage and peppers for the bunch. I credit Spank with that idea and convincing her to make it, which she didn't mind at all, gotta love her. On a sidenote, this is my 2nd favorite meal at home, next to manicotti. Then we had Posey doing his Lay's thing and dropping in some free stuff as well as Ozzie and Cork getting sugar cookies that got wiped out in no time.

If anyone is in our league to win money, that's just a bonus if you ask me. From October through April, we're all over it. The best thing I like about our crew is that even if you're getting mangled and in dead last, you're still keeping up with your team and turning in lineups at record paces. It's a huge hobby to me, so I like putting money into the league since I know the fun that returns from it can't be priced. We have a new addition to the league. Not a person, but this idea is in trophy form. We presented the trophy this year to TJ who won the league last year and has bragging rights till the end of time for being an EDDFL Champion. He gets to hold the trophy for a year and present this year's winner with the trophy. Just something extra to play for other than the usual cash they'll get. The draft board is a must for our league as well. I'll be getting this for a long time I hope and it's very handy in person. If you've never had a draft board for your live drafts, you seriously are missing out, it adds so much.



I could write and write about NBA stuff, but I'll try not to force a ton on you. You'll get enough through the year, but I might as well at least break down my team to open the season with. I had the #2 pick overall and went with The Black Mamba, Kobe Bryant. Also, for those who don't know how our league is setup, rookies are a big factor. We start 6 players per week at any position. One spot must be a rookie no matter what. Ladies and gentlemennnnn, here is yourrrr E-Town Junkies:

1. Kobe Bryant: Los Angeles Lakers
2. OJ Mayo (R): Memphis
3. Rudy Gay: Memphis
4. Zach Randolph: New York
5. Devin Harris: New Jersey
6. Andrew Bogut: Milwaukee
7. Ty Chander: New Orleans
8. Randy Foye: Minnesota
9. Joakim Noah: Chicago
10. Marreese Speights (R): Philadelphia
11. Marcus Camby: Los Angeles Clippers
12. Boris Diaw: Phoenix
13. Ramon Sessions: Milwaukee
14. DeShawn Stevenson: Washington
15. Antonio Daniels: Washington



I'm happy with my team. I always say if you leave a draft unhappy, that's bad news and can't ever end well. Being a Celtics guy, you'd think I'd hate Kobe, but he's actually one of my favorite players in the game. I'm sure this year will add to that, praying that he doesn't get hurt like a little girl. In Mayo, it's like we raised the guy, being in West Virginia. We've heard about this kid since his early middle school days and now he's on our fantasy rosters, that makes me feel old. For the #3 pick, I was debating between Rudy Gay and David West. West starts out the season with 5 straight weeks of 3 games and that's a tough hole, so I go with the Gay man in that situation, no homo. I joked that I wouldn't have any Bulls or Knicks and I end up with one on each team. Z-Bo Randolph is going to be a knucklehead for sure, but I'm hoping I can get some games out of him that'll be productive. Ok, I'll slow my roll and stop analyzing every player. As much as it hurts me to move away from this topic, I'll do it for the sake of the readers out there.

Sometimes I review brand new theater movies. Other times I switch the game on you. This time, I'm going to review one that isn't brand new, but it was new enough to me that I haven't seen it. What's that one? Shawna brought over The Heartbreak Kid the other day. No, for the wrestling fans, Shawn Michaels wasn't hanging in my room. That'd be a story in and of itself as I might have gotten some Sweet Chin Music down a flight of stairs. This one features Ben Stiller, Jerry Stiller (hilarious), Carlos Mencia, and Michelle Monaghan of the recently reviewed Eagle Eye just to name a few. It's a comedy/romance, so it's a good date movie. I won't get all sappy, but just giving a recommendation if you're into that. On the scale, we'll go with 6.5 out of 10. It's worth watching and is a fine movie. Nothing that is going to amaze you, but it's worth giving a few hours time to and I thought it was pretty funny. IMDB gave it a 5.9 for whatever that's worth to you readers.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: http://www.myspace.com/sheissoreal

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: I actually got a few user requests this week for videos. Corndog, your vid was decent, but didn't keep my attention the whole way as did Matty Cakes'. I feel fine in saying that because I know normally Corndog brings out the goodies as far as blog contributions, but no harm done. This week's winner instead comes to us from Matty Cakes. Even if you're not a sports fan, you probably know or recognize Chris Berman. I actually haven't seen this one before, but it's of Berman flipping out and going on a cussing tirade, good stuff:





3 Quick Thangs:

1. I'm going to try Wednesday, October 22nd for our birthdays to celebrate upon. Howard Stern's mother Ray, she's 81 if she's still living, which I assume she is. Bad News Brown, a wrestler who passed away in 2007, would have been 65. Actor Jeff Goldblum, 56. Ichiro of baseball fame, 35. Hockey player Miroslav Satan, 34, and only because he has a cool name. Zac Hanson of the dorky Hanson band kids, he's 23. Not much of a list there unfortunately, but I don't assign the birthdays. I only tell you what's up.

2. Here's another quick road rage pet peeve. I'm driving over to the Westside to get my workout in. Nothing out of the ordinary so far. I pull into a road and here comes this old woman out of an alley. I'm on the main street and have the right-away. She then just pulls out without even looking and acts like she owns the place. Now come on woman, get out of here. Pay attention at least. I know I'm not good at paying attention when I drive, but at least I'd own up to the mistake. She was just in her own little world, in a coma. I held it in though and didn't have to take a ball bat to her windshield or whatever those psycho people do, hah.

3. Right now as I type this section, I'm tearing into some ice cream. What is it exactly? I knew inquiring minds want to know, so I'll give in and tell you what to buy at the store the next time. That'd be Ben & Jerry's S'mores. It's similar to rocky road if you're into that. Yum yum yummy!

Saying No Homo Doesn't Make It Not Homo

We go to a user-title this week. If I'm stumped or want a different topic, I'll randomly ask people and there you have it. Onto the latest blog, a little over a week overdue..

If it's more movie reviews you ask for, that's what we'll give you. I have two to talk about this time around, both were theater movies. The first I went with Shawna to see and it was Eagle Eye. This one has Shia LaBeouf (I still crack up at that name), Michelle Monaghan, Rosario Dawson (yummy), Billy Bob, and Michael Chiklis as the main members. Since I always comment on the chicks, Shawna says she needs to get some comments on the guy celebs out there. Since I'm being a nice guy this week, she wants to add that she's big on Shia for whatever that's worth to the readers out there. The_Freak, that'll give ya more fuel for the Miracle Whip nickname, but I get a kick out of it. Now time to rank this flick. I was disappointed with it in the sense that it was WAY over the top. I like my movies to be somewhat realistic. I didn't feel like I wasted my money, but it only deserves a 5.8 out of 10. Sunday night, I went along with Cork and his girl Kristin to see Body Of Lies. It features Leo DiCaprio and Russell Crowe. I figured with those two together, it had to be good. I'll start off by saying it was better than Eagle Eye. It was 2 hours and 8 minutes, a bit long and it dragged on for a while. However, it was a good storyline and not a bad movie. I'll be generous and give this one a 7.0 out of 10. EJ in Cali and ManDingo want to weigh in on this movie too. EJ says, "Body of Lies was fucking terrible. There was an early screening of it last week on campus. Thank god i didnt pay for that shit." ManDingo says, "Also hated it. Unfortunately paid for the screening though." I'm digging that I'm getting back up to date on some movies, I was slacking there for a while. Sex Drive comes out this week (my kind of movie that is stupid, funny, and no plot), some buddies want to see Saw V (which I've never seen any of the previous reincarnations and am not a fan of scary movies, but I'll probably go to take one for the team), and next month has Transporter 3 which I'm way pumped up for.



Blog contributor and a buddy from way back in the old school #basketball days, Kasher is at it again. He's always bringing about the creativity on our message boards to keep things rockin'. Remember the Idol chick list he did over the summer? This time he's calling his latest creation the Hottest Babe Tournament. A pretty simple name, but in theory, it has the message board on fire. What he did was to have everyone on the board who was interested to list 5 famous chicks they thought was at the top of their lists. After the responses were sent, Kasher chopped that down to a 64-person tourney. I like these because there is always arguments. Also, dudes and chicks alike can have an opinion for this. Round One is already over and I'll quickly go through those. He broke it down between an actress region, models, singers, and an others category. Of course, a lot of these votes are going to get a heated debate and they have, which makes things fun, just like the Idol deal we did a while back. Kasher also seeded each chick according to popularity in his mind. Here we go with results as we speak and I'm going in no order here with the section of the bracket..



(1) Jessica Alba over (16) Catherine Zeta-Jones
(8) Scarlett Johansson over (9) Eva Mendes
(5) Elisha Cuthbert over (12) Charlize Theron
(4) Alyssa Milano over (13) Mischa Barton
(11) Hayden Panettiere over (6) Jennifer Love Hewitt
(3) Salma Hayek over (14) Shannon Elizabeth
(7) Angelina Jolie over (10) Halle Berry
(2) Megan Fox over(15) Brittany Snow
(16) Gina Gershon over (1) Gisele Bundchen
(8) Brooke Burke over (9) Molly Sims
(12) Alessandra Ambrosio over (5) Vida Guerra
(4) Tyra Banks TIE (13) Rebecca Romijn
(6) Marisa Miller over (11) Jaime Pressly
(3) Keeley Hazell over (14) Brittny Gastineau
(7) Lucy Pinder over (10) Izabel Goulart
(2) Adriana Lima over (15) Kelly Monaco
(16) Christina Aguilera over (1) Mariah Carey
(8) Shakira over (9) Christina Milian
(5) Kate Beckinsale over (12) Paulina Rubio
(13) Rosario Dawson over (4) Taylor Swift
(11) Rachel Bilson over (6) Jennifer Lopez
(3) Carrie Underwood over (14) Rihanna
(7) Beyonce Knowles over (10) Lindsay Lohan
(2) Katharine McPhee over (15) Ashanti
(1) Anna Kournikova over (16) Vanessa Hudgens
(9) Vanessa Minnillo over (8) Jillian Barberie
(5) Maria Menounos TIE (12) Carmen Electra
(4) Allison Stokke over (13) Danica Patrick
(6) Stacy Keibler over (11) Anna Benson
(3) Erin Andrews over (14) Kim Kardashian
(7) Jill Wagner over (10) Maria Sharapova
(2) Elin Nordegren-Woods over (5) Layla El



There you have it. That's where we stand at the moment. I'm sure it's probably sexist, but what else do us guys have to do online than argue on message boards about pointless things? If you'd like to see the comments in each section, you're able to do that through TMac Lobstah. Go to www.theballsempire.com and get a login name for the best board out there. Then, you'll see all of our topics and threads. Go to the bottom to "Girls, Girls, Girls", Blahah's section, and you'll see in there what's up. Feel free to comment and say what you want, anything goes. I figure I'll update you as things go. Admit it, you know you're definitely interested in what goes down, whether you agree with the votes so far or not, we have you hooked.

How about those Cougs? For the locals, you know my old high school's football team for the past say 10 years has been brutal at best. We've had 3 or 4 ok years in that time. That's probably giving more credit than is due, but I still have enjoyed going to most of the games this year because there's not much else to do on a Friday night. Besides, how bad can it be to watch football on a cool night, eat junk food, hang with my crew, and still have it be an affordable night? It's just a bonus that we get to hear Ozzie's great calls as he's the PA guy for the games. I'm serious on the great calls too, not just being funny in saying that. Our crew loves to hear whatever random thing he'll come out with next, it keeps us on our toes. The other night, he was giving us live baseball playoff scores and even recognized the opposing team's waterboys out of nowhere. If there's a birthday to be mentioned, he'll also take care of that. All for a $5 entrance fee. Last season, my boys didn't win a single game. This year, up until Friday, they were winless as well. I thought maybe they'd have a chance for a win this season, but that was a big maybe. I was proven wrong on Friday as it was a 17-16 thriller over Ritchie County (actually, it was an ugly game with tons of penalty flags, but oh well) as they got to party in the streets for Homecoming. The weird thing to me was the ending. I believe it was 4th and 10 on the Cougs' 28. Ritchie had the ball and were passing decent most of the game. You'd think on this level, you'd go for it since nobody around here can kick. But no, they set up for the 45-yard field goal, correct me if I'm wrong. We all thought this kicker had to be amazing. He goes for the kick and it barely goes into the end zone, terrible. Not for my boys though, they get the win and the fans were rockin', good to see.



Oh my! It's getting here. It's that time of year where I get so ate up with NBA that my eyes might pop out of my head. I'm always in NBA mode as most people know, but this time it gets to be the real deal Holyfield. Sunday, it was time for the EDDFL Draft Lottery. That means, on October 19th, we'll have the 2008-2009 EDDFL Draft! Fantasy basketball for those who don't know what I'm talking about. We hold our lottery a week before the draft so everyone knows what order they will be picking ahead of time. The next blog will feature the happenings of the draft, so I won't bore anyone with that yet, but it's easily one of my favorite days of the entire year. I will however, for no reason at all, give you the results of this year's lottery so you can begin to get a feel of what's about to go down. Through an intense process of drawing cards for each person, that determined what number we'll have next Sunday, plus you'll get to know who all is in the league this year. This is the exact twelve we had last year and we have a decent waiting list for this league too, hopefully I can keep it going as strong as ever:

1st Pick: Spank
2nd: Ed
3rd: Fortney
4th: Riley
5th: Cork
6th: TJ
7th: Posey
8th: Mudcat
9th: ManDingo
10th: Sidell
11th: Fleece
12th: Ozzie



You know how people say once you leave a little small town, you always return? I'm not sure if it's like that everywhere, but it's true for Shinnston in more cases than not. I'll give a good example of that in this paragraph. Cousin Jill, Blog's Dad of the Year Gayle, Big Ashton, and Max are about to make the return, this time coming to my neck of the woods on the Eastside. It could be a temporary move, but still it's always a good time to have family around. Some people want to be as far away from their family as possible, but I'm going the opposite route on that one, call me weird. That's what keeps us going, so if you see Jill and Gayle around town in the next week or so, you heard it here first. As usual though, you can leave this town for 10 years, come back, and it's still basically the same as when you left. It's just the little things such as the town's characters and the stories you hear that make it worthwhile.

Speaking of small little towns, I did that on Saturday. Me and Shawna hit up an 8 year old's birthday party/cookout. We figured we'd be there for an hour, be miserable, and roll out of there after eating. Surprisingly, we were there for about 4 hours. I'm not sure what got into us, but that shows how exciting we are I guess. That's not the real story, but the locals will pick up on this next thing. We went out to the mean streets of Doddridge County. Big Isaac territory, out past the Jarvisville exit. 12 miles off the exit on a narrow road. I wish people from the big cities could come to our towns and check out some interesting sights. I'm not sure I've ever been out there actually. I forgot to tell you I was out there ManDingo because I know you are familiar with that area. I liked it out there, some nice land and everything is wide open. Just a little piece of info for you to munch on.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: Arizona Jas is back in action with this one. Here is what she thinks: "Not the dirtiest I've seen, but she's definitely more ho-ish than your last pick. Forsure." http://www.myspace.com/jennifergagliardo

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: It's probably funny just to me as half of these usually are, but it's going in this week. We have a guy in an astronaut suit messing with some golfers. Pointless, but that's what we're putting in.

3 Quick Thangs:

1. Birthday time! We'll go with Wednesday, October 15th. We start out with actor Anthony Hopkins, 71. Actress Penny Marshall, 66. Former Orioles pitcher Jim Palmer, and one of The_Freak's favorite people, 63. Tito Jackson of Jackson 5 fame, 55. Tanya Roberts of Charlie's Angels and weird commercials, 53. That's not a bad list there. It's a short one, but I'll give it a 6.5 out of 10 for power.

2. A new video game is in my possession. What'd I go with? I didn't go with the usual next generation game. Instead, I picked up Sonic Chronicles: Dark Brotherhood for the Nintendo DS. It's a role playing Sonic game, so things are switched up a bit. So far, it's been fairly easy to get a grasp of and there's a lot to the game. The DS is one underrated system. I guess it's not underrated since the sales are still through the roof, but for people who haven't tried it yet, you're missing out. I'm still playing way too much Call of Duty 4 on XBox 360 though. On November 11th, Call of Duty 5 comes out! I'm off that day of work and may take the next day off just out of being ate up with COD.

3. The new fat boy charts are out. West Virginia is #2 on the list among the United States in obesity levels. For a while, we rocked it out as the #1 in that level along with #1 (that's not a good #1 to have by the way) in heart disease, teenage pregnancy, and tobacco use. I guess that doesn't surprise anyone, but some people just don't care either way I guess.

Febreeze: Roscoe Jenkins Style

We've made it to October for whatever that's worth to everyone out there. To me, that means one thing. Towards the end of the month, the NBA season opens! I won't bore everyone with that talk yet, but you'll get enough of it soon I'm sure as that's pretty much one of my main things I'm ate up with. I'll be sure to ramble on about my fantasy NBA drafts coming up this month, but we'll hold off on that for now as we have other business to take care of. It's back to some randomness as this time around on the post, we'll hit on topics that you might not expect, but you'll still get my opinion on.



I was driving to work the other day. Nothing out of the ordinary. I was driving half asleep as usual and listening to Howard Stern on Sirius, the normal routine for the quick drive. I'm glancing around and up drives this guy in the other lane. What's he doing? He's shaving while driving. Come on dude, you can't be in that big of a hurry that you have to shave in the car while you're driving. I'm sure a lot of people do it, but I just never understood that one I guess. Besides, if you're going for the babyface look, you can't possibly do that great of a job in the car as compared to home can you? Then again, I can barely get the driving part down right without screwing it up, let alone if I tried shaving in there too. That'd be something worth filming as I'm sure I'd make it a disaster.

Here's an annoying thing. As most know, I've been having a pretty good running schedule for a while. On most days, I run on my town's trail which is next to the scenic West Fork River. Actually, it's not too scenic as it's nothing but filth, but it's all we have, so scenic will have to work. The annoying thing is that you're running along and then out of nowhere, bugs will go in your mouth. With it being near the water, you have tons of little mosquitoes and stuff going around and when one of these bad boys hit ya while you're running, it's bad times. It screws the breathing all up and you just have to get through it. It's not a big deal, but you know it's not fun when it happens to ya.



I was at Wal-Mart the other night around 10:00 or so. I had less than 20 items in my cart, so I figured why not go to the express line. The logical thing, right? On a side note, who really follows that 20 item limit? Not many. That's not the point though. At this time, they only had a few lanes open to where you could check out. You'd think they would try to open a few other lanes to get the people through as it was fairly busy for this time of night, but nope. The line I was in moved really slow. I had an older Italian dude behind me that was close to 80 and I always get a kick out of striking up a random conversation with people I don't even know. You never know what kind of stories you'll end up receiving. He had one thing of frozen food in his hand and that's all he was going to buy. As the line wasn't moving much, the dude starts complaining that his frozen stuff is going to thaw out completely before he even gets the chance to pay for it. Of course I'm going to egg him on to keep complaining because he was cracking me up, thus making my longer wait seem shorter than it really was. The moral? A lot of people say not to talk to strangers, but give it a try, it'll make your day go that much better.

Speaking of that same Wal-Mart trip, here's one that had me all confused. On my list that night, I had to pick up some Febreeze. You can't go wrong with this stuff in most cases. People always says that Febreeze is a guy's version of cleaning up and I guess that's fairly true. I consider myself a pretty neat guy and I have my section of the house usually clean, but I need to dust more than I should and little things like that. Who doesn't? Well, I'm going around the aisles and in the candles section, then to the home section, and still can't find my Febreeze. The girls reading this know I wasn't even close to the Febreeze, but guys, isn't that where you'd normally look? I had enough and ended up asking some of the worker chicks where it was at. I'm never above asking questions to find something out. They tell me to go to the grocery section and gave me the aisle number. Grocery section?! Someone tell me the reasoning behind that. I guess it's strategy to get me to buy groceries when I don't need them, but put it in a better section than groceries. I can't be the only one whose life would be much easier if it was done this way.



I need to get out more, I know. I'm still and probably always will be, a little small town guy. I'm all up on new technology usually (outside of cell phones), but found a new one to me the other day. It's not a new concept, but just one I've never verged out to try. Me and Shawna have been renting a good bit of movies lately as I talk about some of those in here. We go to Blockbuster about 15-20 minutes away as our regular spot, which is sometimes out of the way if you want a quick trip. The other day we were at Shop N Save (our grocery store in the mean streets) and wanted to try the $1 movie rentals. It has the touch screen and all of that deal, you know how it goes. I didn't know that newer movies would be part of this though, so that had me surprised. Also, there's a ton of choices in these machines too. For just $1, you can get these for a night and return them the next day. I'm like a little kid and thought it was pretty neat how you order them and the movie pops out after processing. We rented Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins on Thursday night. This one features a huge cast of good characters: Martin, Mike Epps, Ced The Entertainer, Mo'Nique (who I usually can't stand, but was great in this movie), James Earl Jones, Michael Clarke Duncan, and others. I guess this means it's time for a movie review? If you haven't, go pick up this movie, it's hilarious. How can you go wrong with that cast together and it not be any good? Exactly. On a 10 laugh scale, I'm giving it a rank of 7.8. Ironically, on imdb.com, from 3457 votes as I type this, it only garnered a 3.8 out of 10. You kidding me on that? I'm not sure what those voters are smoking on, but it's nowhere near that 3.8. Take my rank on this instead, you'll appreciate it in the long run. For a funny movie, it might even make you shed a tear towards the end. I know you tough guys don't want to admit that, but call me crazy. To end, Nicole Ari Parker was looking awesome in this movie.

I'm almost always in a pretty pumped up mood. I always say take the positive approach because nobody wants to hear you whine like a little baby nonstop. Sure, it's ok every now and then, but you can't get used to being "that person". Talk about something else for once. You've all been around these types of people. It can happen at work, hanging with your crew, or anywhere basically. I also never understood people who let a bad day at work ruin their actual home life when they get home either. Are all of my days at work great? No, but in most cases, I come out in a real good mood regardless and never let things affect me. If I'm going to let some tiny thing bother me and make me cry to everyone, I'd be hating myself for having everyone listen to that garbage. I know there's a time and place to vent and I'm a very good listener, that's not what I'm arguing against. If you have to vent, go for it, but don't become that person who vents all the time and you never hear anything else from that person. But what do I know..



We're due for a new CD update. Basically now, they're used to add to the iPod if they're worthy as CDs are becoming extinct. I still keep them all and do the alphabetical listing and keep them in a specific order that I like. Weird, I know, but it works for my organized way I like to have things. Most of these I haven't had time to listen to yet as I just got them a few days ago, but I'll still give comments..

Daz: Only On The Left Side. This is Daz's 10th album, which I wouldn't have guessed. On this beast are Snoop, Swizz Beatz, Krayzie Bone, running mate Kurupt, Obie Trice, and Tyrese. We follow this one up with another West Coast CD..

The Game: LAX. This is one of the better albums I've heard in a long time. 50 Cent got fired up at this one and leaked the album a few months ago on a website. Why? Because he says every song on here features other people it seems. I'm not huge on that either, but The Game made it work here and then some. It has great replay value and I still like how The Game keeps the West Coast feel going on this album. Ones you need to check out? State of Emergency is a must own and it features Ice Cube. The first verse that Cube enters in puts some old school aggression to it, it's quality. My Life with Lil Wayne and Bulletproof Diaries with Raekwon The Chef are others to check out.

Kardinal Offishall: Not 4 Sale. Here's a Canadian rapper for you to check out if you don't already know the guy. This features some names as well. Who you ask? The Clipse (my favorite live rap performance I've seen thus far), The Dream, Akon, Rihanna, and T-Pain. He brings about a rap and R&B mix that works real well. You've probably heard Dangerous with Akon and didn't know it was Kardinal.

Donnie Klang: Just A Rolling Stone. If anyone watched MTV's Making The Band 4, you'll know Donnie. He's the whitey that could fit into a boy band. To get a feel of pimpin R&B, I got this one just because it can't be half bad I wouldn't think. No reviews on it yet.



Terrence Howard: Shine Through It. I saw this one on the latest releases list. I didn't have an idea Howard was putting an album out, so I was intrigued. Based on his performance in Hustle & Flow (one amazing movie by the way), I had to at least add this to the collection. Just for his songs It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp and Whoop That Trick, we'll see what he has to offer in this CD.

Young Jeezy: The Recession. This is Jeezy's 3rd album of his career. Downloads you need from this? What You Want, Word Play, Put On, and Crazy World. I'd gamble that Put On had to be one of the most played songs all summer on Sirius. Me and Spank would joke on how many times a day we'd hear it in the car. Either way, Jeezy I'm a fan of and think he can deliver. Go pick this thing up.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: http://www.myspace.com/amberly_a

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: This is sent in to us by none other than The_Freak. It comes from his territory and it cracked me up at least. I like how people on the comments are taking it all serious and the dude is just being a big goofball.





3 Quick Thangs:

1. Birthdays for Monday, October 6th. He's not "famous" so to speak, but I always liked his name growing up and thought it was something when I'd get his baseball cards. That's Dennis "Oil Can" Boyd, he's 49 on this day. For any bowling fans, 2-time bowler of the year, Walter Ray Williams Jr., also 49. Another former baseballer, Ruben Sierra, 43. I would've guessed a lot older. Basketball chick who looks like a horse, Rebecca Lobo, 35. This list has to be among one of the worst days ever as far as celebs go. Are any of these names even showing up on the radar? I don't think so, but every now and then I like showing how bad of a list we have. If ya don't believe me, check it out for yourself: http://www.brainyhistory.com/daysbirth/birth_october_6.html

2. I was driving home on Saturday night after getting a half pound double cheeseburger (best burgers by far) and fries from DQ. Yep, fat boy food. I see this kid that I'm guessing was about 18 or so. He was walking and must've thought he was some tough guy. He was tatted up and was doing this gangsta walk. I was cracking up at it and then while he was doing this walk, he steps into this hole in the ground and about drops himself. A few cars were ahead of me and he's looking around like nobody saw him, but he knew that slowed down his tough guy image. It's times like this that I wish I had video of certain things.

3. Today's fact to give you more knowledge? The average person supposedly falls asleep in 7 minutes.

Beast Mode: Buffalo Road Trip!

Yes, we're definitely due for a road trip blog. In this edition, that will be a good 95% of the blog if not more. Those are always easy for me to write, but the tough thing is to figure out what to include. Do I try to ramble on nonstop and mention all that I can? Or do I go with a few big stories and harp on that? As usual with a road trip post I make, I think everyone will at least be somewhat interested in parts of it, regardless if it's a trip they personally would want to make or not. I do a lot of Pirates baseball blogs in the summer and people who have no clue on baseball always find something that gets them laughing or surprised. I'll try to keep that style going. Strap up for a long edition.. And we begin!



First off, if anyone didn't read last week, the setting in question would be Buffalo, New York. If you're not good with geography or too lazy to look on Mapquest, it's in western New York, about 5 hours north or a bit more from my town. We rolled 10 deep in three cars that couldn't have been much worse on gas. We went with a Jeep Cherokee and two trucks. In attendance would be Matty Cakes, Ozzie, Spank, Big Hal, Grandpa Cakes, Ray, Claude, Scott, Donnie and myself. Cakes did the driving in his pimp Jeep Cherokee that I'm a huge fan of, it's all decked out with the works and has the suede interior. Ozzie took shotgun, while Spank and myself took the backseat. I was sure to take my car sick pills. As with most road trips, I go way overboard on junk food. Every stop we make, I'm loading up on something, with candy always being involved. I might be the champ when it comes to tearing up candy once I get started. Hot chocolate was consumed in bunches as well, even if it was warmer outside.

Along the way up, we listened to a lot of football scores and Cakes also brought along a good mixture of music that fit the ride. Unfortunately, as was true with Atlantic City, we didn't bring a copy of Sharp Dressed Man by ZZ Top so Ozzie could belt out the lyrics as the rest of us look on amazed. I guess you had to be there and I probably wrote about it at the time of that trip. What happened was that Ozzie heard Sharp Dressed Man on the radio and something in his mind got him to crank it way up and he was jamming away. It was just so unexpected that it made it 10 times funnier than it was, but I guess you had to be there.



We got to the Clarion that we stayed in and the room was huge. Big beds and they had internet hookups, so I was down with that. Also, it was good that we made it in time to see the 4th quarter of the Notre Dame loss to Michigan State. I'm normally calm during games and was for this one, but it was a good time seeing fellow Irish fans Ozzie and Spank screaming and jumping around the room during certain times of the game. The people on the trip that didn't know us probably wondered who the idiots were in Room 230 that had enough energy to bounce off the walls for a month straight. Who else is 30 years old and is going around the room trading spin kicks out of nowhere and whatever else like we're little kids? I of course took my laptop with me. I know I was only gone for one day, but for anyone that knows me, it's tough for me to be without it for even one day. That's my crack that I'm addicted to, whether that's a good thing or not. Anyways, while a few guys went to get a drink or two at the bar, I just chilled out in the hotel room online while watching college football. I was also talking to Shawna for a lot of that time too (yeah, call me whipped or whatever, you other guys are too), but that wasn't my reason for hitting up the bar. I'm just not a bar guy whatsoever since I never drink and I don't need to smell like an ashtray.

Let's focus on food for the trip. My only complaint on the trip probably and I think a few others can back me up on this would be the choice of restaurants. A lot of these other guys have been to Buffalo before, but I haven't. When I go to a new area, I at least want to try something local that the city is known for as far as food, not something I'd be able to get in my area at home from a chain. Our first place we hit up was Red Robin. I've seen them on commercials, but we don't have them near where I am. I actually liked my food here as I got a prime rib dip sandwich, but it was really loud in there and I had to scream to the guys next to me for a conversation. I ranked it a 6.5 out of 10, but Spank said his was so bad and salty that he didn't finish most of it and Spank can out eat just about anyone. To jump in time, on the way home, the rest of the crew decided on eating at Denny's, while some ate at McDonald's. Come on now. I'm not asking for a five star place, but if I'm out of town, I want something fairly different than normal.



When I'm away up north, I always like to see what they think when I ask if they have sweet tea. At Red Robin, the waitress was all "You're not from around here are you?" Imagine that, you must be a genius to know that we sound like hicks. Shut up you bum, you didn't even give good service, but I still gave a good tip just because that's how I am. At least she didn't get pissed when I asked, like the stuck up people in Atlantic City. They picked up on our accents easy, but we did on theirs too. They had the Canadian accents and I kinda got a kick out of hearing it. I'm big on hearing weird accents anyways.



To start the trip out, I went to bed on Friday night at 5:30 and woke up around 9:30. 4 hours there and no sleep on the ride up. I went to bed around 1:30 on Saturday night and wake up around 7:30 on Sunday morning. Before going to bed, me and Spank (forget the correct grammar, it sounds good that way to me) decided that we'd get in a run before breakfast. We accomplished that, so that got the day starting out on the right path. After running, we go to ask one of the workers for some extra towels. Spank is talking to this older woman and asks if we can pick up some bath towels. This is the dialogue:

Spank: Do you have any extra bath towels?
Woman: What?
Spank: Bath towels.
Woman: Whaaattt?
Spank: Bath.. towels..
Woman: Whaaaattttt? (in the Canadian accent)
Meanwhile, I'm standing there trying not to laugh at the scene between those two. She finally figures out the accent we have and sends us down the hall in the right direction. "Down there on the right! Down there!!" It seems like she's screaming it and Spank is asking me if he talked slow enough to her or what the problem was. It was a running joke the whole trip of us screaming like the woman did. Again, I guess you had to be there.



The fitness room though was garbage. They had one really nice treadmill, while the other didn't work. I mixed in some bike action and then ran hard for a while on the treadmill after that. Then it was time to go downstairs for breakfast. Me and Spank were the only ones who were pumped about that for some reason. We go down and it's a help-your-self breakfast. They didn't even have bacon, eggs, or pancakes. You serious? They had cereal, crappy bagels, a waffle maker, and things like that. What a bummer. We needed real food after that, but it wouldn't be long till we did it up big with tailgate time.

Our hotel was only about a mile or so from the stadium, so that made things easy. We end up getting to the tailgate area around 9:30. The grill was started right away and Hal doesn't mess around when it comes to setting this up, so HUGE props to him there. We went with angus burgers that turned out great, hot dogs, chips, beer for whoever wanted that, and we tore the food up. I've never been to a NFL game before. For as many NBA (oh my, it really is starting soon!) and MLB games as I've been to, I'm not sure why I've never been to a NFL stadium. The tailgate setup in Buffalo I was blown away by. I wish I got more pics of that, but I failed on that end. Cornhole, people with huge RVs, flat screen TVs, football being played, all kinds of food, and you name it for I don't even know how long it stretched. Two people stood out to me when walking around the tailgate scene to check stuff out. One was Andre Reed, former Bills wideout stud. I was walking around with Spank at the time and we ran into Cakes and Donnie. They say they just were inches away from Andre Reed just hanging at a tailgate. We had to go check it out just because. I thought it was pretty neat that one of the better wideouts ever was hanging with the random bums. After all was said and done, Spank and Cakes both got their Bills hats signed by Andre. Outside of Dre Reed, the Ultimate Warrior was also in attendance. Not the real dude, but even better. We even got a pic with this one. The guy was near 7 foot tall and we ran him down for a pic and threw up some funny poses. He did the military pressing of his arms, shaking the ropes, had a belt on, you name it. He'd be walking around in character and talking about the Warrior Nation and how it was about to take down Raider Nation.



Ralph Wilson Stadium I liked a lot. From the area around the stadium, to inside the stadium, we all agreed that Buffalo is stuck in the 1980s. The area the stadium is in seemed like a town from back home. It had a country feel. I liked the atmosphere though. The seats we had, unbelievable. Cakes hooked us up big by jumping on that and our group was 2nd and 3rd row up from the field. The thing that immediately got me was how huge these guys were in person. Robert Gallery of the Raiders is someone you have to see in person to appreciate. What a monster that dude is, just a freak, even amongst the other giants out on the field. The game itself was quality, right down to the buzzer. Our crew of 10 was split from Bills and Raiders fans, while I was one of the lone neutral guys, so that made it fun to watch the arguments. Speaking of Andre Reed, he was there with the rest of the Bills legends to put Bruce Smith into the Bills Wall of Fame. He gave a good speech and ended it by saying he was the best ever at his position.

The crowd at this game was over the top. I've probably never been in a crowd that big that kept things so rowdy. The place was literally shaking and it gave me goosebumps. I'm not a fan of either team, but just being there when the fans were going insane was one of my favorite parts of the entire trip. I'd be there staring around and soaking in the moment. I could only imagine how Cakes and Spank felt during all of that since they are big Bills guys. The weather was a mix. The high that day was supposed to be 61, so we wore t-shirts. The morning at the tailgate was perfect weather. Once in the stadium, around the 2nd quarter it started to rain lightly. Things started turning cold and it's another world up there. I'd still like to experience a game in Buffalo in frigid conditions, that's what football is all about.

One thing that got the guys talking was the Buffalo Jills, the cheerleaders for the team. One, why do pro teams even need chicks out there? On a small scale like high school with lower crowds, they might be able to pump the crowd up. Here, they're just eye candy and nothing else. They don't even do flips or any of that stuff. They stand there, make a few moves, and that's it. I wasn't the only one that thought so, basically our entire crew can back me up, but these girls overall were brutal. I'm talking 10 pounds of makeup that made them look even worse up close, it was bad times. Eventually we started coming up with nicknames for them such as Meth Girl (face all sunk in and looked like she was all mangled), Old Chick, Giant Chick (this girl was towering over the rest, a big thumbs down), and many others. Spank was saying they need to learn how to do some cardio. The other thing I argued on, they didn't have that great of bodies if you ask me. I mean, call me sexist or whatever, but you have to have something up top to fill out those outfits, not looking like a dude. Maybe I'm spoiled, but I know what I like anyways.



We're now beginning our way back to the mean streets of West Virginia. The ride back, in most cases is very tiring and can't compare to the ride up. This one, I will disagree on. We played sports trivia for the entire 5+ hours on the way home and rocked it out. To me, that's about as good as it gets. Boring to some I'm sure, but count me in. Give me a big crew of legit sports trivia guys and I'm all over that for as long as people want to play. On the trip, buying the trusty 2008 sports almanac paid it's price and then some. It's a purchase that is made every year, I'm just not sure why I waited so late this year to get it. I usually get it in January when they come out. Also on the book list this time for whatever that's worth, I picked up Pistol: The Life of Pete Maravich. Being a huge old school basketball fan, I figure the Pistol Pete book has to be good. I got these at the biggest Borders (book store for those in a coma) I've been in. The one at home is your standard style Borders. This one was enormous and had a coffee shop inside to add to the touch. I finally get home that night around 1:30 and after a shower, I roll to bed at 2:00 and wake up at 6:00 to get to work the next morning. We were all dragging that next day, but proved to be champs and toughed it out. All in all, another excellent road trip with the guys, no complaints on my end. A big sign of appreciation goes out to the Cakes family and the others in attendance that made things so fun.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: You know when they show their face in just a few pics that it's not too quality. However, she still likes to show the rest of her deal off: http://www.myspace.com/graceshorty

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Beast Mode! Yep, since it was a Buffalo blog, we're going with some Marshawn Lynch action on this. 10 minutes of goodness for the sports fans to a guy that is becoming one of my favorite players in the league. The dude is an idiot, but he still cracks me up. You get it all here. He does his Oakland thing, you see the classic clip of him driving the injury cart in college, talking about his Beast Mode grill, and the works. Matty Cakes, I'm definitely a fan now, hah.



3 Quick Thangs:

1. Birthdays are back in business. This time we'll go with Thursday, September 25th. Barbara Walters goes for 77, the woman is getting up there. Actor Michael Douglas with a hot wife, 64. Model Cheryl Tiegs, 61. I'm not a Star Wars dude at all, but Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) is 57. Former NBA baller Bob McAdoo is also 57. Actress Heather Locklear, 47 and still gets it done. Another NBA baller, Scottie Pippen, 43. Happy 40th to actor Will Smith. Weirdly enough, Catherine Zeta-Jones shares her birthday with her husband that we mentioned, 39. Actress Bridgette Wilson, 35. Current NBA baller, Chauncey "Big Shot" Billups, 32. Now that's what I call one impressive list! That's a tough one to top.

2. I noticed something a few weeks back. When checking out the new season of the Real World/Road Rules Challenge, it struck me. I feel like I'm so much older than these kids. Actually, I am, but it's still good drama and entertainment to check out on Wednesday nights on MTV. This will prepare me for the new season of Real World, located in Brooklyn, time to giddy up!

3. Want some facts on rats to end up on? Why rats? I have no idea, but that's what the staff here picked out for us this week. Male and female rats may have sex 20 times a day, dang. Rats also supposedly destroy a third of the world's food supply each year. 26% of all electric cable breaks and 18% of all phone cable disruptions are caused by rats.

$2.50 Antifreeze & Donkeys Killing People

Thanks to last week's birthday boy for this week's pic selections, the one and only Uncle Wilbur..

I'm a small town guy. Most people know that about me and I figure I'll be around my area for a long time. Now that I say that, watch me move to some deserted island in the middle of nowhere. Anyways, I've never flown in my life. No, I haven't got on a big plane yet, it's not one of those stories. I've flown on a little tiny plane, but that doesn't count. I better get back on track before I lose the thought. I took a trek to Pittsburgh International Airport on Sunday morning. Weirdly enough, I've never even been to a big airport before, let alone done much there. Going in, I thought it'd be a madhouse, but I surprised myself with good timing, not getting lost and doing my thing. I made a wrong turn once I got inside the airport, but that was no biggie. I turned into the pay section of the parking lot and had to get a ticket. 30 seconds later, I drive through this booth and see Toll Booth Willie. I give a $20 since I have no clue what he'll charge and he looks at me weird. He must've seen I was only through for 30 seconds and knew I was some dumb lost redneck, so he tells me no charge and to go on through. Go figure.



This coming weekend, a few firsts for me will go down. Not only will I go to the state of New York, but I'll also be hitting up a NFL game. As weird as that is for me, I've never done either. I've been to a zillion NBA and MLB games, but never NFL for some reason. Saturday we roll 10-15 deep on our way to scenic Buffalo. And you thought I was going to say I was heading to New York City or something. Nope, I'm a small town guy as noted above, give me some time. Anyways, most of the group we're going with is split between Bills and Raiders guys, so that'll make things interesting. I'm going just because it has to be a real good road trip, I don't have to drive, get to hang with my crew, and sports is involved. I wish it was a game later in the year with some big snow in Buffalo, but I'm sure this will work out just fine. Next week, I'll be back with the road trip report of who all went, what excitement went down, and who knows what else. Those are always easy to write up.

Speaking of football, last weekend was the main game of the season I always want my Notre Dame boys to win. Yep, that's the Michigan game and I feel it's one of the best college football rivalries for the ages. Michigan spanked them last season, 38-0, so we had to change the tune. 8 turnovers for Michigan does that, you can't win that way. Locally, it's weird because most WVU fans hate Notre Dame fans and vice versa. Now that Michigan has Rich Rod at the helm, WVU fans probably were hoping that Notre Dame Stadium would blow up into pieces with both teams inside. I did hear a few people say they were rooting for Notre Dame this week though around here, so that says a lot. A 2-0 start after last season's disaster, I'm excited about that. They still have a ton of work to do, but with the rare easier schedule they have this season as compared to the normal top notch schedule, I see a solid year if all goes right. The defense is legit in the first few games, but they haven't been tested by a great team yet. The offense was much better this week than last, so I hope that improves. Also for good karma, I bought myself a Jimmy Clausen jersey last week. Now watch him get kicked off the team or something.



I do the movie review deal every so often. Have you ever had a half-movie review? What's that you ask? It's pretty much as it sounds, but of course I'll set ya straight with an explanation. These aren't new, but I haven't seen them, so I'll talk about the happenings regardless. Apparently for being with DirecTV for ages, they send me this deal where I get 3 free months of Showtime and it's cancelled after that, so a freebie. I used to have all of the movie channels and such, but found out I never really used them enough to make it worthwhile. Still, I've had the free Showtime channels for a week or two and have only watched one movie. Well, half. That'd be Employee of the Month with Dax, Dane Cook and Jessica Simpson. I hit the DVR for the second part of it I missed, so I'll catch up, but the first half I thought was hilarious. I hear the rest of the movie is great too, so we'll see. I was at Shawna's the other day and we rented What Happens In Vegas since it just came out on DVD not long ago. About 45 minutes through it, the power goes out and that was that, doh. Based on those first 45 minutes, it was pretty good, but that happens. I don't think we complained much though, but I never did get around to putting it back in to watch week since it was due back. While at Blockbuster through all of this, I'm a sucker for sales or any kind of bargain. They do the 2 for $20 (also the 4 for $20) and how can you pass up those? I went to the 2 for $20 section and ended up getting 21 (which I've written about before when I hit it up at the theater, so go rent it) and The Great Debaters. I'm a huge Denzel guy and haven't heard a bad review of this movie, so I'll give it a try.

Soccer in my area is basically nonexistent. Well, it was when I was growing up at least. I've never been to a soccer game on any level until Monday night. Don't worry readers, I was home in time for Monday Night RAW. Now you have all of these kiddies playing it and it's catching on a bit for the youngsters. As I was saying, I hit up my first soccer game and what age level was it? It was a game of 4-6 year olds. Shawna's cousin was on one of the teams, so I figured I'd check it out. I wasn't sure what I got myself into, but it was entertaining. I guess I don't get out much and I'm usually not the most patient with the little kiddies, but they cracked me up. Some were pretty good, not that I know anything on soccer though, sorry Cali Jas. It wasn't miserable and I'm in again for Thursday night of the same. I earned some bonus points, so that can't hurt. I get home and get a message from The_Freak that was short and to the point, as he saw my away message and wrote back saying: "soccer?!". Let's back up. Driving to the field we needed to hit up, we weren't sure exactly where it was at. We drove past it once and got back on the road. I saw this white van rolling by and I guessed it had to be Soccer Mom, so I followed it, taking my chances. I lucked out, she drove right to the field and the stereotype fit. Sometimes things work out for bums that get lost.



Since the van got me thinking, it's time to stay on the car route. I know nothing about cars for the most part. I know how to change a tire if I had to, could change oil and all of that, but that's about it. I also don't have a clue on antifreeze either. Shawna's grandma needed it, so we went to pick it up for her. My guess on the price? $2.50. That shows where I'm coming from. It was at a gas station, so it was jacked up I'm sure, but it ended up being $17 for a gallon. When I heard $17, I thought no way that was even possible. I guess I was thinking more along the lines of windshield washer fluid prices, but you could've gave me 100 guesses on the antifreeze price and I'd still be way off. I guess I need to get out of living in the 1940s when it comes to some things.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: The_Freak took his turn last week, now we move back to regular ho contributor Arizona Jas. She's going with a thicker chick, but her pics and comments on the pics just might crack you up. http://profile.myspace.com/156934670

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: You'd think a 4 second clip couldn't be any good at all. Maybe it's me, but I've been watching this one over and over. Now that's funny, I don't care who ya are.

3 Quick Thangs:

1. I'm putting it here just because. Usually birthdays go here, but sometimes they just don't need to be in every single time, you know? I do have to keep everyone on their toes. This time, it'll be a movie review that is legit, not a half style we had above. I watched Baby Mama the other night and it wasn't too bad actually. It's pretty funny and you really can't go wrong with Tina Fey in glasses if you ask me. I was finished up with the blog and then forgot to write about this. It's not a movie you wanna watch the guys, but rent it with your chick. If I had to grade it on my scale, it's tough, but we'll go with 6.3 knocked up girls out of 10.

2. I can spend too much time on CelebHeights.com, but it's strangely addicting. I may have written about it before over the years, but it's a simple concept. It features average people out and about as they get pics with famous people. Then they come on this site and post messages comparing heights and what is always reported on if it's right or way off. Let's try a few random celebs, some of which might surprise you, some may not: Jimmy Hendrix: 5'10", Hillary Clinton: 5'6", Minka Kelly: 5'5", Kim Kardashian: 5'2", 50 Cent: 6'0" (I still doubt that), Leslie Nielsen: 6'1", Al Pacino: 5'6", and George Lopez: 5'10".

3. Here's today stat I wouldn't have guessed. Again, I have no clue how these are proven and it doesn't even seem right, but we'll roll with it: Donkeys apparently kill more people annually than plane crashes. Seriously? Again, I find that hard to believe, but it was reported. I might have to get the blog detectives out to research that.



* Yep, it's time to end in a special way here in blog land. Marching band, crank on those trumpets and roll out the red carpet. We'd like to announce an addition to the family. Cousin Jill and Gayle (if you've been a regular blog reader, you'll know that Gayle got our Dad of the Year Award) bring in Maxwell Joshua to the world. Max has a full head of dark hair and didn't look weird like some newborns do. :) We'd like to send the congrats out to Jill and Gayle!

Thank Me You Bum

Here's one that bugs me and I can't be the only one. I'll set your scenario up so it's easy to understand. Most of us don't have much patience, especially when it comes to sitting in traffic. Yet, the same impatient people that we are, we're begging in our heads that someone will be nice and let us go and wave us on. I'm decent with this approach and try to help out when I can. The other day, I let this woman out in a spot that wasn't letting up with traffic anytime soon. I wave her on as I was in a good mood and she just drives on through. Ooooh, now that had me boiling. You gotta thank me you bum, I was nice enough to let ya get on with your day and quicker down the road than the guys in front of me did since they kept driving. I'm not asking everyone and their brother to let me out in traffic, but at least I'm going to give ya the big thanks if so. I bet that woman hates life too, just my guess. :)



Since the last paragraph dealt with cars, I might as well continue with another. I've talked about my driving before and my buddies can attest to this one. Generally, I do ok enough I guess in regular conditions. Still, nothing I'd ever say I was good at. What I'm probably the worst at would be parking. I'm not talking parallel or anything that difficult. Still, I've parallel parked once in my life, that was for my test, and that's it. I'm talking about backing up in this section. I'm terrrrible at backing up, it's beyond awful. The other night I roll in around 3:00 in the morning and sleep all day. Nothing out of the ordinary there, but I wake up and the parents joke with me wondering if I was drinking the night before. They know I never drink and I didn't catch the joke until they kept going. When they went to get the morning paper, apparently my backup job I made the night before was so bad that Mom had to get in my car and re-park it for me. The back end was out in the street I guess, who knew?

It was time for new food the other day. Saturday afternoon, I stepped into it to try sushi for the first time in my life. Yes, at 29 years old, I've never had it before. Hard to believe, I know. I'm the type that will try just about any food once to see how it is. I wasn't sure if I'd be into it, but Shawna is crazy pumped over sushi, so I was along for the ride. We hit up Shogun and I ordered chicken teriyaki, noodles, California rolls, shrimp tempura sushi, shrimp dumplings, ginger salad, soup, and then they threw in an orange just because. The sushi, it gets a thumbs up from me. I didn't expect to care much for it, but I approve. It's nothing I'd get all the time, but I'd get it again for sure. I haven't tried raw sushi yet, that's next on the list. For the locals, Shogun lunch specials are the way to go.



Last week I mentioned the return of 90210 on the CW Network. Tuesday was a 2-hour premiere and I had to check that out to see what the deal was going to be. Sad to say, but I'm a big fan of this new season so far. I hope it keeps me interested for the whole season. So far, they're on the right track. It's all about the crazy drama, the character build was good, and I dig the fact that there's a bit of old references in from the first era of 90210 that you can pick up on. I guess if you were around for the first 90210 and claimed to be a fan, you're getting up there. Shawna said it was before her time is why I am a fan of it and she wasn't, that hurts, hah. And it's not like I'm much older than her, pretty dirty. :) Here's a list of events from my boys TyLaw and Kasher from our message board:

Ty: I just had to excuse myself from watching the new 90210 which my girlfriend is still watching with some friends of ours. I gave it one beer's chance, but there was no way I could drink enough on a work night to watch anymore of it.
Kash: My sister and I grew up watching 90210 religiously together (this and Degrassi, which is basically the Canadian equivalent), hehe. I've DVR'ed tonight's episode and will watch it later. There's way too much TV I have to watch right now at the same time, I wish I had three video recorders.

A disturbance hit the waves of the blog fans last week. I always get a lot of messages online and in person of how people like or dislike the blog each week. Corndog is on top of things and he enjoyed last week's edition, yet the fans might've been disappointed since it was "Corndog-free". This time, Corndog is back for the action. It seems like a lot of the blog regulars are all in this edition before all is said in done, we try to fit in what we can. The MySpace clan will have already seen these, but Corndog made some for me the other day. A lot of people are doing them, but basically it's a site that turns your present pics into old school style pics. Corndog made two for me, one that makes me look like a 1970s pimp with the flowing hair (I was a big fan of that one, it cracked me up) and the other I called the 1960s smooth and suave look. Maybe it's just funny to us, who hard to tell, but it's worth mentioning.




Random ramblings from The_Freak:

The_Freak (11:25:04 PM): Here's one for you..
The_Freak (11:25:27 PM): When you go to Red Lobstah and load up on the "endless shrimp" kind of deal, why do they only give you this tiny ass bowl/plate of them?
Me (11:25:38 PM): Good point right there..
The_Freak (11:25:38 PM): And then space them out 20 minutes or so apart to make you wait.
The_Freak (11:25:44 PM): That deserves chin music.
The_Freak (11:25:48 PM): Or like Olive Garden
The_Freak (11:26:00 PM): The "refills" take a long time, and they get smaller as you go.

High school football. I go to a good bit of my old crew's basketball games, but for some reason, I rarely hit up football. The overall talent in my area is nothing worth writing home about. I've probably been to maybe 2 or 3 football games of my boys since I graduated ages ago. I decided to hit up last Friday night's game as it was the first home game of the season. Keep in mind that they didn't get a single win last year and that's usually how it's been the past decade plus, not many good seasons in there unfortunately. It was a packed house and to make matters better, we didn't even have to drive since Shawna's place is in walking distance. Great cool weather and we got to kill time by hanging out with our crew. As far as the game, it was about what I expected, my boys looked rough, but it was all in the experience of course. We left at 9:30 when the 3rd quarter was over since we had to go get Chinese by 10:00. Hey, I have my priorities straight. I rarely leave games early, but that one is a good reason for me. After 10:00, I wouldn't have been able to get honey chicken, it could've been a bad night. Luckily though, the world didn't end as I got there on time and we got our food.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: The creator of this section is due for another turn. He drops off this dirty. This come to us from The_Freak. No private pics, but she has enough on her main page that it'll work. http://www.myspace.com/crisstini

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Since sushi was a part of the blog this week, we'll keep that trend going in the video section. I mentioned it to Arizona Jas that I tried it and we got to talking on that since she's a sushi fan. She sends along this vid, which is about as fresh of stuff as you'll get. Sick maybe, but the part where they had him talking is what got me:





3 Quick Thangs:

1. Any birthdays for Wednesday, September 10th? This is a day where it doesn't seem that we have a long list. We'll start with NBA old schooler Bob Lanier, 60. Joe Perry of Aerosmith, 58. I don't think he's that big of a name, but actor Colin Firth, 48. The Big Unit, Randy Johnson of baseball fame, throwing heat for his 45th, dang. Big Ben Wallace, NBA baller, 34. We also have a few others to mention. It's not the 10th, but it'll fall during the week. On the 13th, we'd like to send the big birthday wishes out to Uncle Wilbur and Arizona Jas. You two have fun tearing it up out West.

2. Did you know that fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails? Now you know.

3. Today's weird fact that I wonder how it was proven, but we'll give it anyways: A married man is 4 times more likely to die during sex if his partner isn't his wife.