Sunday, November 16, 2008

Pimp Cups, Christmas Cards, & Faceplants

This will be one of those posts where I have a bunch of different topics to hit. Those are usually pretty easy to write and usually there's something in there for every type of person. In just a few weeks, it'll be Thanksgiving time, but Christmas is already in the air. I guess I understand, and I've said it before it's a money maker, but at least give a little bit of respect to Thanksgiving, that's a fun time. I like Christmas as much as the next person, but hold that stuff off till December. With that said, let's get into this week's topics!

Big Cork turned 27 this past Wednesday, so props to him for that feat. His girl Kristin planned a deal for him that was somewhat of a surprise in Morgantown. She asked some of us to come hang with them and go out to eat for the big night. The plan was for us to hit up Kegler's, a sports bar type place and I was down for that. It's the same place I've written about during softball season this past summer that we went to a few times. We pull into Kegler's and it's packed. One side is full and we go to the other and they have a private party planned, boooo. Then it was Option B, which we really didn't have at the time. As a sidenote, for the people in attendance: Posey, Scherri, Cork, Kristin, Big Mule, Trev Daddy Dollars, Paulie Walnuts, and myself. We then were off to Crockett's Lodge, which I've never been to before. I'm not a big bar dude at all as everyone knows. I was glad it was a bar that wasn't where I was on top of someone and had to scream at them 2 inches away from my face. It was more of the sports bar deal like Kegler's, so I liked that. Plus, I had live NBA games on in front of my face, so that more than made up for it.

As a good laugh, Kristin made Cork a pimp cup for his birthday. We've always joked other the years how we wanted one just because, now he can make that claim. She made the designs herself and it turned out awesome. I want one now. Maybe I can drink my Gatorade out of it. Also, the little waitress chick we had up there, brutal. One of the worst ever, but we didn't make a huge deal out of it since we weren't in a hurry. This place wasn't big, but she'd check on us maybe every 20 minutes or so. She left something off of my order and I asked her about it and she started getting all worried like it was the end of her life. I told her it was cool and she didn't have to panic. Being that she was in a panic, I figured I'd get that part of my order in just a few minutes. Nope, try again. I got it later in the night as she forgot and apologized forever. As we were getting ready to leave, this older dude was mangled drunk. I'm not the party type and really can't stand being around drunks, but this guy was a character. He was on his way out of the place and was stumbling all over the place. He busts into Scherri and almost knocks her off the seat and then a few steps later takes a face plant right to the ground. My favorite part of that was that he'd try to get up real slow, hold himself on the ground and try again. I'd be giving commentary with the oohs and ahhs to set up the mood. Finally, the bouncer helps him get out of there. The moral for me? That's my lesson to never drink. I know I take an extreme negative stance on that, but that's how I've always been.

My sleep schedule is usually all out of whack. This week, it was back to that setup. Saturday night/Sunday morning for example. I go to bed at 6:30 in the morning after being online most of the night or playing video games. No biggie, I go to bed that time on weekends a lot. The thing is, I wake up at 8:00 after 90 minutes of sleep and head to church. I'm home by 9:30 and go back to bed until 12:15. At that time, I eat real quick, get suited up, and then go to Bridgeport to play ball. Weirdly enough, I wasn't tired one bit playing ball this week with the crew and had a real good shooting day. That's a good start to the winter ball playing season and I can definitely tell that running all summer helped that out. Later in the week, here's another. Wednesday night, I was up most of that as well and had to work the next morning. I go to bed at 4:30 in the morning that day after being online for most of that. I wake up at 6:00 and go to work on 90 minutes of sleep and rock it out like a champ. I wasn't tired until I got home and got a 90 minute nap, only to go to bed around 1:00 the next night for work. I always say I'll go to bed at a certain time, but those bed time goals rarely work. The moral to this one? I never learn.

You didn't think I'd have this week's blog and not talk about Call of Duty 5 did you? Tons of my crew and others are so hooked with this that it's probably not healthy, but I always say that I could be hooked to much worse. Tuesday I had work off due to Veteran's Day (Spank and those guys have more balls to do that stuff than I ever will, so they know it's much appreciated), so that meant a day to get my gaming on. After getting in an early morning workout and run, I go to GameStop as soon as the truck shipment arrives and have the masterpiece in my hand. I've been playing it like crazy this week and it's well worth the purchase, go out and get this bad boy if you haven't already. My style is the same on this version as it was on COD4. I play almost nothing but Free-For-All and love that stuff. I can't get into the whole team concept at all in these games as I don't feel there's as much strategy in those. Then again, all of the team guys argue against Free-For-All, so you'll get all kinds of opinions. Graphically, this version is smooth and better than COD4. I won't ramble a lot more on this, but if you're not already on my Xbox 360 buddies list, go ahead and add me to do some battle: Bird33WV

The day I went to pick up COD5, I also went with the parents to pick up a new TV for the living room. Probably from this time of the year on until early January, it's going to be way packed with the traffic from shoppers. It's just something everyone has to deal with. I'm fairly impatient, but Dad is probably the worst of anyone, it cracks me up at times actually. We were waiting for about 20 minutes on Saltwell Road on our way there due to the power company working on the phone lines. People started honking horns and Dad was having enough of the wait as well. As soon as we get the sign to go slow through the section of work, this dude passes us around a corner that he had no business trying it on. The tough guy drivers who hammer on the gas only to see them a minute later behind someone else is always entertaining. As he passed us, Mom said we'd see him in a ditch ahead due to a wreck. We didn't quite see that, but we did see him on the side of the road a bit farther up. What happened? Dude's car was smoking like crazy and he was standing out of it all pissed off. You shouldn't laugh at that, but tough guy probably had it coming. Go rev that car up some more in that piece of junk you were driving. Stuff like that needs to be on video.

Since I said people are always getting into Christmas earlier and earlier, I guess I'll go back on what I said a bit ago. How's that? For a good while now, I've been all over the Christmas card tradition. They go worldwide and I get a kick out of sending them out to places such as Germany, Canada, and all of the parts in between. I'm also a big proponent of actually writing out a card. You can't just get a Christmas card, sign your name on it and mail it out. What's the thought in that? To me, that's garbage, seriously. If you're going to do that to your buddies, I say not even bother. A 4 year old kid can sign their name on a card and send it out, no fun behind that. Put something in that card to make it yours. Write up a little rambling on there or something funny, people will get into it a lot more for the Christmas spirit. Just trust me on this one. I don't know a lot, but I know I'm ready to rock out the cards to my internet crew and whoever else is interested. I have a ton on the list over the years, and if you're on it before, you'll be back more than likely. If you're a newbie, drop me an email at and send me your address and I'll put it with the collection.

I was driving behind this old man the other day in a truck. Nothing out of the ordinary, but I noticed a radar detector in the truck. Still, nothing that is uncommon, right? Well, dude was going about 25 miles an hour on a road that had a 45 mile per hour speed limit. Come on dude, what's the point of that radar detector you have then? Are you just enjoying the scenery as you hold up traffic for a mile and just curious to where the coppers are pulled on the side of the road at? Apparently so since you weren't driving like a madman. Just a little side topic to throw in here.

I'm going to end the main writeup with one that everyone can enjoy (or not enjoy, suit yourself). Credit is given to my boy TMac in Toronto for this find. He found this on a message board of this guy showing off his car and his chick in the same pic. What sparked after that was some of the best message board material you'll see, pages upon pages. As I type this part up, today they have 51 pages of comments. I guess this guy thinks his chick looks good, but I'm not sure anyone will say anything even close to that. Ok, I'll say it, this chick is bad times and I think you'll agree with me. Sure, that could be mean to say, but we're honest around here. I'm a pretty low key guy and try not to bash things too often, but sometimes it's necessary, especially if it gets posted onto the internet. I'll let the comments on this board speak for themselves, this will cure some of your boredom for the day. You can thank TMac for this find later, but for now, click here:

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: Arizona Jas is back at it again. She might be permanent in this section each week, she finds them better than I do probably. I give credit where it's due and we have another fan submission:

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: A dude getting whipped by a chick. The commentary during all of this is worth it alone. How does this even happen?

3 Quick Thangs:

1. Birthday time and we'll celebrate for Monday, November 17th. What does that day bring us? Let's shake the crystal ball and find out.. Director Martin Scorsese starts things off by being 66. Actress Lauren Hutton, 65. 3-time Cy Young winner, pitcher Tom Seaver, 64. The creator of Saturday Night Live, Lorne Michaels, 64. See a trend here? We're not missing a year it seems like, plus we have plenty to get through. Also at 64 would be actor Danny DeVito. NBA Hall of Fame member, Elvin Hayes, 63. Politician Howard Dean, who I don't consider a celeb, but he had his 15 minutes of fame during the last election when he was a screaming idiot. At least the sound clips of him are funny, but he's 60. Daisy Fuentes, 42. That's a deep list there, most being worthy.

2. The locals need to hit up Snyder's Gourmet Market in Bridgeport. It's pricey, but you get your money's worth and then some. It's a quality deli that has all of your Italian cheeses, meats, olives, desserts, and whatever else you can think of. The setup of this place has to be seen, it's good times. They also have a wine room for people into that type of deal. I loaded up on some of the best cannolis as well as a pound of prosciutto, probably my favorite lunch meat out there, it doesn't get much better.

3. We'll end this edition with some wise words from The_Freak at 3:55 in the morning, uncensored..

The_Freak (3:55:29 AM): This bitch on the Food Network is WAY TOO EXCITED

The_Freak (3:56:26 AM): No chick should ever get this excited about food. I'm also sick of her saying "kids". I'm not her fuckin kid.


Kristen said...

Why exactly IS the Freak watching food network at 4am? He could be checking out the mangled chick on the messaes boards. Ouch!
You know I'm up for the Christmas cards...
take care, have fun as always. :)

Ms. Jazzie said...

Dude....HILARIOUS!!!COMEDY!!!PRICELESS!!! "She devalued your car just by touching it!" Oh man I will die laughing and bookmark that page. *catches breath* And that video...THAT VIDEO! "Why you runnin n****, i thought you was a n****" Who records while your friend is getting his ass handed to him by a chick?! THEM! And then post it for the whole world to see! I love the internet and you tube and messed up friends like that. Anyways awesome blog as usual and im hella down for a xmas card, I will do the same for yah! Gotta love my comments on a xmas card.

The_Freak said...

Insomnia, that's why.

Brian said...

Bird -

I promise to do a better job of getting you a Christmas card this year ... I need to get back into the routine!