Saturday, October 27, 2007

EDDFL, Crying Drama, & Shinnston MILFs

Hey peoples, what's been going down? Same old here, which means I try to rarely complain and just do my thing. Nobody wants to hear ya whine like a little girl anyways, so might as well try to always stay in a good mood. Other than that, we have some business to take care of in here. It's been a little over a week, so that usually means tons and tons of stories. Well, I'm not sure about the amount of stories, but it'll be quality regardless. In this edition, I'll run down the NBA fantasy league I run (EDDFL), give the usual reports on my TV watching, Halloween approaching, and whatever kind of goodies we can throw into the mix.

Last Sunday was one of my favorite days of each year. That's right, our fantasy basketball draft. This was held in Fairmont and features 12 of our crew. The rundown includes: Mudcat, Fortney, Spank, Sidell, TJ, Posey, Me, ManDingo, Cork, Fleece, Riley, and Ozzie. That's the order of our picks by the way for anyone who cares. 10 were in attendance, while Riley and Sidell did the call-in together from the tobacco plantations of Carolina. All in all, it seemed to work rather well as we've been doing this for years.

The only thing I didn't care for about the place we drafted at was that when you leave, you smell like a dirty and greasy bar. Not my cup of tea, but if NBA is involved, I'll settle coming home as I wreak like Joe Dirt. The best part is just the trash talk with the crew and being our bum selves. Spank did a funny thing of what each person was going to wear that day when they walked in and he was dead on in many instances. I was able to call Mudcat's exact outfit, good times. Out of nowhere, Fleece starts playing this old jukebox and everyone is rolling their eyes as it cranks, while he thought it was the greatest. Fleece is a character and always brings something to the table. That added to the excitement as the trash talk hit high levels. We had a room to ourselves, watching NFL all day, a big draft board that our leagues uses to put each pick up, pizza, and it turned out to be a good setup indeed.

The basketball fans are wondering what my team ended up being. I'll get to that, just be patient. I had the 7th pick and was fine with that slot. Here's how things turned out for youuuurrrrr 2007-2008 E-Town Junkies:

1. Chris Paul: New Orleans
2. Andre Iguodala: Philadelphia
3. Al Jefferson: Minnesota
4. Gerald Wallace: Charlotte
5. Yi Jianlian: Milwaukee [Rookie]
6. Monta Ellis: Golden State
7. Andrei Kirilenko: Utah
8. Rajon Rondo: Boston
9. Jameer Nelson: Orlando
10. Walter Herrmann: Charlotte
11. Sean Williams: New Jersey [Rookie]
12. Andris Biedrins: Golden State
13. Ben Wallace: Chicago
14. Boobie Gibson: Cleveland
15. Louis Williams: Philadelphia

I'll try to not to bore everyone with too much NBA talk, but that's a huge part of my life, so hopefully you can adjust. I'm always in NBA mode, but now the blood is officially pumping through the veins in anticipation. My head may pop off before Tuesday's Opening Night begins, feel the fever! This Sunday, it's yet another fantasy NBA draft. This one is the mecca of all internet drafts. For people that don't know, it's the collection of the #basketball guys that I roll with that come together for the greatest online league of all time. Rickey Henderson would be proud. Anyways, that would be the A#BA. This is a 20-man keeper league. In that, we each keep 5 players from the previous season. This is as deep as a fantasy league as you're going to find and the guys in it are no joke, coming worldwide. My five are Dwyane Wade who is mangulated, Andre Iguodala, Eddy Curry, Danny Granger, and Andrew Bynum. This is where my boys in the league are from: Blahah (Maine), Me, Kasher (Montreal), Chester Cheetah (Canada?), Cork (WV), Wilbur (Washington), TrevGriffey (WV), Walz (WV), Chiphead (Brazil), DerekHood (Arkansas), ManDingo (WV), Vertigo (Las Vegas), TMac (Toronto), Don-G (Toronto), Duce (Philly), Neon (Canada), Morello (Canada), EJ (California), TyLaw (Canada), and Big Play Ray (Parts Unknown). So once again, it's basically West Virginia against Canada. Prepare for a 3 or 4-hour draft on Sunday night at 6:00 PM!

I get to double up on my TV shows since the last time we talked. Yep, that would be Kid Nation and Real World. I'll start with Kid Nation and then we'll go from there. Last week, we had MIT Genius Kid get drilled big time in a food fight and then tries to get all fired up. Shortly after, they had new elections for council members. Larry Bahhd stays on for green as she went unopposed and MIT Kid stays on for blue. The other had some defeats. Seinfeld beats Taylor for yellow and then Latino Heat Guylan takes out Mike. Greg gets the gold star for that week. Not too much drama, but we have action in the most recent. This one is about Taylor being a baby for losing council. The town's mission is to clean up the garbage, but Taylor won't work. Crazy drama goes down and yep, that's good TV. DK offers to quit and Latino Heat convinces him to stay as everyone is crying. Too much crying on this show. Next week we have them searching for "treasure" and money could end up ruining the city. Jared goes off, we'll see how he flips out.

You know what is an underrated show? Maybe this will make me feel like an old man, but it's still worth seeing. What am I talking about? Survivorman on Discovery Channel. I was hanging on the couch and the parents were watching this guy. I've seen bits and pieces before, but never really sat down to see what the whole deal was about. Basically for those who don't know this guy, he's "stuck" in the desert for a week at a time or so. He has to rely on the wild to get his food and drink. In the episode I just got done watching, dude was cooking up scorpions on a stick. Then he found this big ostrich egg and hard boiled it for 90 minutes. He said it's the best egg he's ever ate. He also was getting the juices out of plants for some water. When worse came to worse, he even distilled his wizz and drank some of that. I really don't believe he's stuck out there with nothing, but it still makes for something to watch. You're sitting there cussing this guy and then the next thing you know, you're watching the entire episode. Don't say I didn't warn ya. I doubt this is something I'd watch regularly, but it's worth the mention.

How about Real World? Last week we get another drunken fight between Parisa and Trish. They try to make peace next day, always ends up like that. Fake Tit Shauvon is freaking out about her ex fiancee and always thinking about him. She cries like a baby (Kid Nation anyone?) without her dude and how he's not there. Her man says for her to pick him or stay where she's at and she goes insane. The most recent week? Sexual tension builds up between Dunbar and Parisa. They act like they hate each other by screaming, but that is just hiding it. We can see through it. Dunbar's chick comes and they say how mad he always is, but she calms him down for a bit. To say he has anger management issues would be putting it lightly. Next week we get Cohutta and KellyAnne all over each other and she says she wants him. Then he catches her hanging with other dudes and can't figure it out. Plus, Shauvon's dude gives her an ultimatum. Half of this stuff is predictable, but it's drama, so you know you want to watch to see what goes down next.

For those hanging at the edge of your seat and wondering, nothing planned this year for Halloween. No parties or anything of that nature, but that's fine by me. I will be giving out candy to the little kiddies though, that's usually a good time to see people you haven't in ages that bring their kids out. That and you even get the rare Shinnston MILFs. They're not easy to find, but they do exist. Every year I run out of candy though, never fails, no matter how much I buy.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: It's time for someone else to take the reigns of this section. Well, for a week anyways. That's when my girl Jas is going to step in and offer her selection. Here we go:

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Kasher found this one a few weeks ago, so we'll use it in here. Here's anorexic Nicole Richie being interviewed at a Lakers game, she's a piece of work, and not in a good way:

3 Quick Thangs:

1. Birthdays for Sunday, October 28th. NBA Hall of Famer Lenny Wilkens, 70, wow. Actor Dennis Franz, 63. Bill Gates is spending his money at age 52. Actress Lauren Holly, 41. Actress Julia Roberts, 40, I would've guessed older, but she's still smokin.

2. Today's Fact? 200 million people in China live on less than $1 a day. That's not even good enough to buy a Gatorade, for shame.

3. Want another? People spend about 2 weeks of their lives at traffic lights.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Jew Crew & The Love Triangle

Here we are again. It seems like just yesterday that I posted the latest edition, but I guess not. We're at one of those weeks that was fairly uneventful, but a lot of people tell me they like those posts better. I just gotta dig deep and go with some things that can keep everyone interested. No sweat with that. As a quick count, we're just 69 days away from Christmas. Again, we haven't had Halloween or Thanksgiving yet and those get less and less credit each year. Don't get me wrong, Christmas is my favorite holiday, but we're months away, the stores need to wait around on it.

As usual in this one, we'll discuss the main TV shows that I watch through the week. The Kid Nation writeups are usually a fun thing and then I always have the Real World drama to weigh in on. Also, Sunday we had the EDDFL Draft Lottery. That's our local money NBA fantasy league that I've been running for years. NBA season is practically my life, so be prepared to be fed with useless facts on that through the year and how the Celtics are doing.

EDDFL is nearing upon us. Yep, the E-Town Diaper Dandies Fantasy League. I've been running this league since I was 10 years old (our crew is a mess when it comes to playing fantasy ball, we're fantasy geeks I guess you could say) and now it's been as solid as ever. We have 12 in the league. I'll go into detail after this Sunday's EDDFL Draft in Fairmont. Last Sunday half of us met at the Chinese joint in Shinnston to do our Draft Lottery. Our pick order for anyone that is bored: 1) Mudcat, 2) Fortney, 3) Spank, 4) Sidell, 5) TJ, 6) Posey, 7) Me, 8) ManDingo, 9) Cork, 10) Fleece, 11) Riley, 12) Ozzie

Kid Nation seems to be a hot item when I'm chatting with people after the blog gets posted. It may seem like a dumb show, but you get hooked in like no other. The show begins with religion fights. It's the Jew Crew (that's the name they gave them, how can ya go wrong with that catchy name?) against the Christians. Then, add a few Muslims and Athiests to the bunch and it's all out pandemonium. I was loving it, it was action. Taylor is horrible and doesn't work. Everyone calls her out. Cody is 9 and breaks down when his "girlfriend" sent him a pic and letter. He taps out and whines like a baby and goes home shortly after. Morgan gets the gold start for basically being the mom of the group. This week we have elections and the council gets put away possibly. You know you don't want to miss this!

I continue the path of having my sleep schedule all over the place. This week wasn't the best start, but I'll rock it out regardless. On Sunday night/Monday morning, I roll to bed at 3:20 AM. I wake up at 6:00. The thing is, I rarely get tired at work since I run around like a chicken with my head cut off, it's just when I get home and sit down and want to crash. Then on Monday night/Tuesday morning, I go to bed at 2:45 and wake up again at 6:00. And it's not like I'm doing much noteworthy during that time for those who know me, but just ate up with my time on the internet. This feature is becoming a little tidbit each week it seems. Can I ever get a solid week of sleep? Doubtful, I never learn. Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, 2:30.

Tuesday at work I got to act like a kid. I know, I act like that enough, I may never grow up, but hear me out. I took my middle school bunch outside for their recess time. Even my maniacs get a little recess time if they can handle it. While out there, I got to take part in a kickball game and also a field goal kicking exhibition. Unfortunately, I didn't have a pair of shorts or tennis shoes in my car as I normally do in case I'm out somewhere and want to play basketball. So I'm out there playing in dress shoes, dress pants, and a long sleeve button up purple, gray, and white pimp striped shirt. Funny just to think of that I'm sure. The moral? I'm not an old man yet, the legs are still in full gear, so let's hope that stays true for a while.

Real World was nuts last week. If you like insane drama with fights galore, you got our money's worth in this one. We had the Parisa vs Trish love triangle. Once again, it was the dude they are both after. Trish and Shauvon are on sides. KellyAnne seems to be on Parisa's side. Dunbar gets told about it from Parisa. The dude they're after is telling each of them different things. The crew gets drunk and Shauvon blows up. She says Parisa is for the dudes rather thant he girls in the house. Shauvon goes at Cohutta and throws bottles around, busting them up. This is one of the best drama filled episodes in a few season maybe. More to come from Parisa and Trish fighting over this dude who is playing them both. Good TV indeed.

JR's Monday Night RAW Rants: We get a double here. How so? We get last week's since we posted on Monday before RAW was over as well as this week. Can you handle the wrath of that? Probably not, but I'm going to take a chance and hope that your heads don't combust at JR ranting and raving. First up, from the older of the two weeks:

"Orton got his bell rung! His tongue tied! His brain scrambled! And then, Sweet Chin Music! And down goes the champion! Down goes the champion! What a Monday Night RAW moment! The chairman is in disbelief! But you better believe it, The Showstopper is back!"

Now the most recent:

"There's Kennedy! Kennedy! Another potential Orton opponent is assaulting Shawn Michaels! Jeff Hardy! Jeff Hardy in the ring! Jeff Hardy hammering Kennedy! Good Gawd! This is chaotic! Jeff Hardy may be hurt! Sweet Chin Music! Shawn Michaels kicked Orton's teeth down his throat!"

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week:

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Wrestling fan or not, I think you'll get a big laugh at this. I could be wrong, but here's The Human Tornado:

3 Quick Thangs:

1. We'll roll with Thursday, October 18th for our birthdays. There are 365 days in a year, but it's weird how I've done some of these dates before in years behind. I guess that's just a weird way of the numbers falling, but we've tried this one before. Either way, what do we have? One of the best college football announcers ever, Keith Jackson, dude is 79. Head coach of Super Bowl XX, the greatest football team ever possibly, Mike Ditka, my boy is now 68. Tennis legend Martina Navratilova, 51 and still has game I'm sure. Jean-Claude Van Damme is still kicking heads off, 47. Sad, but I've seen most of his movies and admit to liking them. I know it's a few days over, but I'd like to wish Carolina in the mean streets of Canada a Happy Birthday! Not sure why I had her date mixed up, as I thought it was Tuesday, but it ended up being Monday. Hey, at least I got to tell her that on Monday anyways. Gotta keep the loyal blog readers happy or I might get slapped around.

2. It's time for one of those weird state facts. In Michigan, it's illegal to chain an alligator to a fire hydrant. Again, I can't make this stuff up.

3. Oh, you want another? Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine. Odd but true. Don't say you never learn something around here. Until next time..

Monday, October 08, 2007

"Good Gawd! My Gawd! Insanity!"

It's one of those weeks where I figured I'd take a few extra days off. In most cases, I get in a blog in after a week, but this time, I made the crew wait in anticipation. Yep, as I always say, keeping you on your toes. You never know what you're going to get. Now that I've not had a post in over a week, I guess I'm expected to bring something to the table on this one. Imagine that. I'll see what I can do. A quick preview of what you'll get is a lot of TV talk with some new shows, Buckwheat Festival, a bunch of new CDs, kids crying, dirty girls fighting over the same dude, a good deed of the week, and whatever else we get into.

I'm going to open up with last week's Kid Nation. I must think highly of this show if it takes top billing in the first paragraph. A few weeks are in the books, it's not too late to get on this bandwagon. Again, The_Freak was bored and we got the online commentary going. You know you want to join in if you're not doing anything else online at that time. A lot went down on this episode, but I'll make it short. They had a "party" night and that consisted of chugging pop (soda just seems weird to me) all night they 't get much sleep. They woke up whining, can ya believe that with this group? Greg, the big kid, he flips out and wants to take over. He starts cussing like a madman. How is that not good TV? F-bombs galore from kiddies, that cracks me up, I can't be the only one. What else happens? Colton dominated the sheep herding challenge. The kids go nuts on Taylor for being a big baby and rightfully so. She needs one of these kids just to bust her once to teach her a lesson. My middle school kids at work always want to rumble and think they're bad even when they're not, I should send them after her. The gold star winner this time goes to 8-year old Mallory. Greg says she only got it because it was her birthday and he's bitter.

The_Freak with some funny comments that I thought were worth posting:

The_Freak (8:33:56 PM): They have chicks on here that weigh more than you do.
The_Freak (8:34:03 PM): ...and you could be some of their fathers.
The_Freak (8:34:12 PM): You could be ALL of their fathers...

Last Saturday it was time to get out of the mean streets for a day. I decided to roll to the mountains with my parents and stay at a place they have. On Saturday we hit up the Buckwheat Festival in scenic Kingwood, West Virginia. Not sure how scenic it is, but you know, that sounded good. You go for the buckwheat cakes and they weren't too bad. Also, I loaded up on greasy, dirty carnival food. While there, there's a few places where you can see some of the show animals. We got to hang with goats, pigs, sheep, and cows. I'm not around farm animals, so I was out of my element, but goats are good times. I need one in my room like Rob & Big did with their mini horse. Maybe the first time I've touched a cow if you can believe that.

Tuesday night came around and I figured I'd try out some new shows on ABC starting at 8:00. The first, Cavemen. I liked the first episode and thought it was worth the watch. It's pretty funny, not bust out nonstop, but still good. I'll give it another chance. The second, Carpoolers. Go out of your way to see this show. I thought the premiere was excellent, so I hope my blessing on that doesn't jinx the second week. With half hour shows, don't give me the excuse you can't find time in your busy schedule to watch. DVR it and watch it whenever, it's worth it.

Real World is getting some crazy drama. We have Parisa and Trish going after the same dude. Trish has a dude at home, but still thinks the guy in Sydney is hers instead of Parisa's. They both end up making out with the the dude that night. I can almost predict it now. Trish will break up with her man at home or vice versa and she'll break down like the kids on Kid Nation. After she breaks down, she'll say how she loved him so much yet she's fooling around with the guy in Sydney. Take a seat you dirty. At least Parisa has the right to be as dirty as she wants with the guy since she's single. After that, Shauvon and her fake body freak out that a guy called her a 6 out of 10 to her face. She thinks so highly of herself that she didn't know what to think when he didn't call her a 10. Then Parisa said the dude was just doing that to mess with her, but it took her forever to figure out. And this stuff is the Real World? It's just a grown up version of Kid Nation.

The good deed of the week for me went down on Friday. I went to the bank and roll into the drive-thru. I see this woman beside me and she's cranking on this junker car and can't get it started. I'm by far one of the worst people with cars ever. I can change a tire, check my oil, put windshield washer fluid in, and that's about my extent. Instead of offering to "help" fix the car, I asked if she needed a ride. She put the car in neutral and I had to push it to the side of the bank. I didn't have to drive her far and didn't really offer a ton of help, but hey, it's better than nothing. Chalk one up for the nice guy.

Maybe I'm missing the hype totally. I know a lot of people think Dane Cook is the next coming, but I don't get him. Maybe it's because I have to see his grill on every single commercial break during the baseball playoff games. Another thing I see on these commercials is Frank TV. Dude's show doesn't start till November 20th and they've already ran it down our throats. It was funny the first few times with his impressions, but now they're just, ugh. We take a short break to hear The_Freak's opinion on Dane Cook:

The_Freak (5:23:22 PM): Dane Cook is a fucking shithead

Something I haven't done in a long time deals with wrestling. In some of my older blogs, I'd end with Jim Ross going crazy at the end of every RAW. I'd post his quotes and if you're a wrestling fan, they're worth it every single time of how he screams and yells. He can talk about anything and you're interested. Here's how last week went:

Cena's face smashing the table! Good Gawd King! Randy Orton may just have won the WWE Title! There's no rules! There's no limits! This is beyond a wrestling match. This is beyond personal. This is about family and survival! We thought Orton was in Chicago. What a lie that was! Good Gawd! My Gawd! Insanity! I have seen car crashes that were more mundane than this. No rules! No limits! Is there any way that John Cena can survive this Sunday at No Mercy on pay per view?

It's time for some new CDs. Most of these I just got in the past day or so and haven't had the time to review them. Either way, we'll still put in what we have added to the collection, I loaded up. 13 new ones here. I'm just going to do a quick list instead of writing an opinion.

Baby Drew: Free.

Chamillionaire: Ultimate Victory.

Gorilla Zoe: Welcome To The Zoo.

Gucci Mane: Trap-A-Thon.

Guerilla Black: Real Niggaz Say Shit - Volume 1.

Guerilla Black: God Bless The Child.

JT The Bigga Figga: Mr. Vice President.

Krayzie Bone: Thugline Boss.

Andre Nickatina: Booty Star - Glock Tawk.

Percee P: Perseverance.

Rick Ross: Rise To Power.

Twista: Adrenaline Rush 2007.

UTP: Back Like We Left Something.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week:

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Jas, I lost the link you gave me the other day. I owe ya one. Get back with me.

3 Quick Thangs:

1. Birthdays for Tuesday, October 9th are beyond brutal when it comes to the celebs. So with that in mind, we're going to nix hyping up any birthdays for this edition. Instead, I'll give a quick word of advice on food: Melt some butter, olive oil, oregano, Italian seasoning, and garlic salt in a pot. Then get some fresh bread and dip it into that stuff. Good times indeed.

2. Our fun fact? There are more plastic flamingos in America than real ones. I research this stuff like a champ.

3. Friday night/Saturday morning, I went to bed at 8:00 AM. Saturday night/Sunday morning, I also went to bed at 8:00 AM. Then I wake up for work the next day at 6:00 AM. The moral? I'm still a mess.