Thursday, January 31, 2008

Vegas, Idol, & Meaty Munchies

I have pressure on me for this blog to get it out by Friday. I lied, I guess the last one wasn't the final post of January. How about a 4 day turnaround since the last post? That's not too shabby and here's why: As I said, there was pressure for me to get a blog in, if I don't, word has it that MrsAnswer will send her Vegas posse out here to club me upside the head and put me down for the count. Also, the reason is that it's her birthday, so I better stay on her good side with this one before she breaks bad. Happy Birthday Jamie, have a good one out there rockin' it out! Take care of my boy Answer out there and maybe for one day, you can pretend to be a Ric Flair fan, just admit it. :) That's right, I gotta keep the loyal readers happy, that's what we do around here. It's time to get on with the blog..

We're back for this week's Idol recap. Like it or not, you're getting it on a regular basis. Tuesday and we go to Omaha, Nebraska of all places. Chris comes on and is way too happy. He cries for getting the chance and is a Kelly Clarkson freak. He totally bombs. He then offers to be at the finale to help announce from the red carpet. Simon tells him to go to his local FOX station and tell them to make them their reporter for Idol, weird. Jason Rich (not JRich of the Charlotte Bobcats) had to try a lot of times due to nerves, but turned out to be good and they pass him through. Paula walks in late after her plane was delayed. More like she was smoking crack, but they tell us the plane excuse. Arm Wrestling Chick makes it through. She challenges everyone outside to arm wrestle and she's won 6 tournaments for whatever that's worth. She then beat crackhead Paula in about 1.3 seconds. Seacrest and Paula switch spots and Ryan comes in to judge. Seacrest is ran after one judge session and Paula is back to put Samantha through, a little hottie and one of the better singers of Day 1.

David Cook gets inspiration from Daughtry. His hair is like a rooster. He hits up some Bon Jovi and nails it. He goes through and is very good. I feel like a dorky judge giving these meaningless opinions, but oh well. Johnny Bananas (not to be confused with the Gauntlet III's version) comes out in a James Brown gold glitter jacket and starts dancing around. He says he might be the strangest person out there, said that himself. Leo comes in from a town of 200 people and some humor. The judges love him and he might be the best from Omaha.

Wednesday night and we're coming from Miami for this Idol session. We go from the middle of nowhere in Omaha to living it up in Miami, what a change. The first person was Shannon, a meat cutter. "And you handle meat?.. that's what it says here."- Simon. She was rough, even though she has singing titles as a kid. She doesn't make it. Robbie, a former boy band guy tries to do rock. He hits up some Skynard and is good. He makes it on. Ghaled, a Venezuelan dude is up and has charisma. They pass him on, but they tell him to try to lose the accent. Two huge chicks (Corliss and Brittany) come out together and one likes skinny dudes and another likes bigger guys. One sings to Randy and one to Simon. I'm not sure if it's a stereotype or not, but it seems the huge chicks over the past few years can sing it. They both make it on easy and have the talent to get it done. A single mom who was pregnant at 18 steps up. She cries that she has it so rough, weird hair, but makes it and goes wild. "She is.. interesting."

Remiele wants to be the first asian Idol winner. I'm on record to say that I'm not big on being attracted to most asian chicks, but the ones that do look good are worthy. This one here is on that list, she's tiny. I think Paula wants her. Syesha has a story of her dad getting out of a drug and alcohol center and is pumped to be on the show. Randy says she's one of the best they've seen on the show this year. It seems that we see the same audition songs every year. Who names their kid Ilsy? What's that? Some chick that was Top 20 of American Juniors (I don't even know of that show) when she was 12 came on. The kid turns out to not be any good and is a typical dumb blonde. They tell her she was acting and she freaks out that they didn't like her. Comedian Brandon comes in and isn't funny. He has this half wannabe gangsta vibe and is creative, but tried to get by on comedy and it didn't work. I'm gonna miss the bum characters in a few weeks when people get put on the chopping block.

So I'm almost done with the Harry Potter saga. I just dusted off Book 6, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. This book was very detailed and set a lot of the major storylines in the past up. My only complaint was the ending was quickly done. They basically end with Harry being all fired up and says he's not going back to school again, blah blah. Also, all book, Harry wanted to get in Ginny's pants. At the end, he tells her that for her safety, they probably should end it. She doesn't want to, so there you have a cliffhanger. Book 7 is in the house now, even if I am behind the rest of the world in reading it. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I've heard a lot of good about this one, so we'll see. I'm still partial to the earlier books, but all have been tremendous. Laugh all you want for the non-believers that don't want to give it a try. I've still yet to see a movie of the series, but the movies are never better than the book.

I'm also in the middle of reading a lot of other things. If I concentrated on one thing, I'd be in business, but I keep the action flowing. Currently I'm reading up on A Lion's Tale by Chris Jericho. I've mentioned that a few weeks ago, but so far, it's an awesome wrestling book. It's filled with wild stories and Jericho is one funny guy in how he tells his life story. Outside of that, I'm always up to date on the latest Wrestling Observer Newsletter, the bible of wrestling and MMA news. I've been saying all along, if you're a wrestling or MMA fan and don't have a subscription, something is definitely wrong, it's that good. Then we have my magazines that I frequent and it's a lot of readage for this fella. Yep, readage sounds good to me, so I'll use it.

What's up in the workout routine as of late? I try to stay active and have something going on as far as that goes. I'm not one of these guys that is going to say how jacked they are, because I'm a little dude. I feel I'm in real good shape, but I'm no beast by any means. Here is how I've been breaking things down over the past few weeks and I hope to keep it as it works fine. Monday, run. Tuesday, workout. Wednesday, play ball. Thursday, workout. Friday, run. Saturday, workout and run. Sunday, play ball. Monday, all over again. I'm also due for another batch of supplements. At the beginning of every month, GNC has the setup for their gold card members where you can save big. Of course, since you read the blog, you know I'm a sucker for bargains and will probably be there loading up this weekend. The items I have marked would be Pro Performance 24-Hour Protein Complex and also a product called Amplified Creatine 189. The protein is in powder form and the creatine in tablets. That's if they don't sell out on the first day, because on Gold Card weeks, stuff goes crazy fast.

Rob & Big update. The show starts with the crew putting Meaty in a pink wig. They go shopping and see this box of cereal with a picture of two older ladies, one black and one white. They think of an idea from that and call the company up. They mention that they'd be perfect for their company's ads. They're out with Meaty and he attracts the chicks. Maybe I should get a dog and try that trick. They go to Le Paws, a dog talent agency. They see an animal trainer there and she asks if they've done anything with him. They say they haven't even got him to sit. They say to come back when he gets some discipline. They tell him he might be able to do some dog food ads. They get Meaty hooked up with Natural Balance and get some pics taken. He's on the cover of a tube called Meaty Munchies. Big tries some of the meat and says it tastes like jerky. In a random note, I tried Pupperoni back in the day at Spank's and it was pretty rough, even though it smelled and looked good. Worth a try though. Next week they try to figure out world records to break and also bust out more net gun action.

An update on the 2008 Lobstah Celebrity Deathpool? Through the first month of the year, nobody has earned any points. I guess that's good since none of the celebs picked in our group have died yet. In a demented way, for some, it's also bad since they haven't died either. See how this is a lose/lose situation? Or is it a win/win? My lock of the year, wrestling manager Bobby "The Brain" Heenan is going through multiple surgeries. He's still in the hospital and will be for quite some time. Nobody had Heath Ledger if anyone wondered, he would've been worth 72 points. Messed up, I know, but I'm sure someone out there was thinking if anyone had him. I'll update this periodically.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: I couldn't find this chick's main link, so I'm going with the long version. It should still work:

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: This comes from our video producer of the blog, Kasher. He's back with another find:

3 Quick Thangs:

1. It's happy happy time! Let's try some birthdays for Friday, February 1st. We start off with two what ifs. What if Boris Yeltzin and Rick James were still alive? I'm here to answer that. Yeltzin would be 77, while "I'm Rick James, bitch!" would've been 60. Now to people that are actually breathing. Lisa Marie Presley, daughter of Elvis of course, 40. Then we get what started the reason for today's blog, Happy Birthday MrsAnswer! Outside of that, there's basically nothing going on for famous birthdays. I could dig way deep and find some bum level celebs, but they don't count around here.

2. Want a website to try? It doesn't look like much, but it's kind of addicting for something quick. For each word you get right, you donate 20 grains of rice to help out hunger. No clue if it's legit or not, but check it out. Highly recommended from Jas, so she gets credit for the mention:

3. Want today's fact? We're going with animal insight to give ya some education. An octopus has 3 hearts and can squeeze through a hole the size of a dime. Hapalochlaena species can inject enough venom in one bite to kill several adult humans.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Are You Tough Enough??

We're back for what will be the last post of January. It's 34 degrees right now as I type this, a big heat wave from the weather we got here last week. I'm a cold weather guy for sure, one of those weirdos, but I realize 34 is still way cold for most. With that in mind, get a big heaping cup of hot chocolate, stay in the house all day, and check out the latest from the world of my blog. In this one we get some good stories from this weekend's Toughman Contest, Idol, Rob & Big, a guaranteed way to clear your sinuses, movie reviews, and who knows what else.

Are you tough enough?? Yep, that's the famous question in my area around this time of year. Friday night I hit up the 29th annual North Central WV Toughman Contest. If you're in the area and have never been, you are truly missing out on a crazy, yet fun experience. You get your money's worth and then some when you hit up this action. Along for the ride on this trip is my boy Spank and we had real nice seats. Our seats were on the stage, so we were away from the crowds where people were sitting on top of each other and dripping sweat all night. In my opinion, Friday night is where it's at. That's when you get a lot of mismatches and guys who frankly have no business inside a boxing ring. The event started at 7:30 and we got out of there around midnight. I'm guessing there were at least 40 different fights. In a note, this is not a place you want to take your chick to because that's an easy fight starter.

Now to set the tone, especially for the ones reading outside of WV. Most of the time, we try to stay away from the typical WV stereotype, but this building brings it back in time. 80% of the place, if not more, was total white trash. Mix that in with serving alcohol and it's an absolute madhouse, a la The Madhouse of Bird33 you are reading. Anyways, 10 minutes into being there, I already had beer spilled on me, but that's part of the game. A lot of fun is in the crowd itself, you get just as much going on there as you do inside the ring. Take this example for one. I was one row behind the best crowd fight of the night. These two drunken chicks who were obliterated were part of the festivities. One claimed the other stole her scarf. Weird already, right? The next thing I know, right in front of me, this chick picks up her chair, slams it down, kicks another down and then slams down another. It was on! The entire place turns to our section and is going nutty. Then the chicks started duking it out, the fighters run over to watch and then security finally breaks it up. You'd think the chicks would be immediately thrown out of the building. Come on, this is WV, think again. The security guy let them stay in the same area the rest of the night, they were 2 seats away from each other. And you think I'm kidding you.

Another interesting thing was the girl selection of the night. I'm talking absolutely brutal. I saw just a few girls in the entire place that I thought actually looked good. The rest were tatted up drunks who were making fools of themselves. I'll pass those off to someone else. But, the ring girls had to be very hot, right? Guess again. The theme with that each year is that at a local bar, they get all the local dirties to get in the contest. They narrow it down to four for the weekend show. Out of those four, one was smokin' hot, just not even on the level of girls in my area. The other three, it looked like they got into the ring for 12 rounds, and that's as nice as I can be on those. We had this one chick who was probably 6'0"/110 maybe, crazy anorexic looking and with the worst ass I've maybe ever seen. Well, not sure how I can judge it since it was flat as a board. The story with her is that she took her top off at the bar competition to make it to the Final Four. She should keep it on. Then we had another chick that Spank called Peg Leg. How so? As far as dirty stripper looking girls, the worst dancer I've seen. She'd come out for her round card duties and do the same thing all night long. What she would do is kinda bounce on her legs and not really bend, with her legs being straight. Then Spank wondered if these girls' parents were in the crowd tonight, hah. Where else can you get the truth told to you about the Toughman Contest? Forget the local paper's writeup, you get the fans view here.

The fight part of the night though, good stuff. Of course you had your bums who would get in, some of them half drunk. Those guys got rocked. The cardio shape most of these guys were in, embarrassing. I guess I have to give them credit for having the balls to get out there though, that's something. Our seats were right next to the area where the boxers were at between fights. We would get some good stories and knew some of the fighters, so they'd fill us in on anything going down. One of my favorite things of the fight section was the second fight of the night. It reminded me of wrestling in that the guy gets popped in the face, and then bounces off the ropes. As he bounces back, his opponent at full force just destroys him into what looked like a near coma, out. There were probably a good ten fights where the guy was getting beat down so bad that he tapped out and quit. Once that happens, the redneck crowd hounds them big time with boos and cusses him like a dog. Last through what you can, you can't tap in a toughman, get with it. Another interesting thing is the kiddies that just turned 18 and think they can whip the world. You all remember them in high school. So they get this bright idea to enter the contest. In most cases, it's pure punishment they receive from older veteran fighters. They bring their posse to cheer in the crowd and then end up walking out with their head down, facing reality.

I know a lot reading this aren't big Idol fans. I guess you'll just have to deal and read through my thoughts for the next few months. I make it interesting enough that I keep the updates coming. Tuesday night's show was the San Diego crew. Tatiana is way hot and is the first to advance. Simon says she's obnoxious, but good. Then we get a single father named Perrie. He's 27 and his wife was shot down a few years ago. He rocked out Boyz II Men and was the best of Tuesday night in my opinion. Then we get an Aussie named Michael who does some Otis Redding. Simon says he's like a white soul singer and advances him. Valerie is this 20-year old Mariah Carey freak and she makes fun of past years' bums. She claims she won't be one as well, but she turned out to be a mess. "The only resemblance to Mariah Carey is if you left her CD out in the sun for one year and played it."- Simon. Monique butchers Whitney Houston and keeps trying to sing different songs. She breaks down crying. Her buddy, Chris, who works with her, he's also horrible and tries to keep singing. Samantha is this hottie that comes in with her sis. They both are obsessed with Simon and tell him he's really hot. Simon invites the sis to come vote with them and she sits on his lap. The judges were impressed with the Samantha girl and both sisters hug Simon.

Day 2 of San Diego and we start it off with a recurring character. In Season 5, he was the Statue of Liberty Guy. He's auditioned in 10 cities and fails yet again. Alberto is this weird shy guy and wants to feel free. He makes his own song and you can barely hear him. Simon says it's probably the most depressing song he's ever heard. David is this 16-year old kid who had a paralyzed vocal cord a few years ago. He says he's recovered and the judges end up loving him. Irish Carly on Season 5 was disqualified after they voted her through due to not renewing her visa. She has an arm sleeve tat (I'm not a big tat fan, but something about arm sleeve tats make a chick look mean and not to be messed with) and her man has his entire face tatted up. She gets 3 yes votes and is off to Hollywood.

South Carolina is Night 2. Rashard with a big fro and he says they call him the Black Clay Aiken. He doesn't make it. Deanna from Kellie Pickler's town. She didn't make it either. Crystal and Randy (a bum, not Jackson) met on an Idol message board and come to audition together. They do a song together and it's rough. Michelle and Jeffery, an over the top sis/bro duo. Both advance, the bro is real good. Cheerleader chick talks about abstinence. Simon says people are going to find her very annoying. "I think you have mad potential. Mad potential!"- Randy.

Day 2 of SC. Lyndsey, an Air Force pilot starts out this group. Aretha (named after Aretha Franklin) says she stops crowds with her singing. Simon says she murdered the song and the crowds disappear. Judges all didn't like it, but I thought she did fine. Josh puts way too much yelling and screaming in his song and it's a mess. He says the show is fake and rigged. Oliver was to audition one day, but his wife had to go into labor as he was in line. He got another chance and comes in with the chick and baby. I thought he was great, but I guess that's why I'm not a judge because they all told him no. Go figure.

Rob & Big this week, very good. Much better than Week 2. This week's theme was the mini horse competition. They want to bring flare to it by getting outfits and the whole nine yards. Mini is out after they sent him to boarding school, but his behavior is worse since he's been back. "Ain't nobody riding to the mini horse show with their mini in the back seat!"- Rob. They then start up a 400-mile excursion to get to this show. Rob pays some random chick $100 to watch Mini and Meaty (the dog) while they go off to ride dune buggies for a bit. After that, they each hit up a couples mud bath out of nowhere and act like kids. Seriously, these guys get paid to hang out and do absolutely nothing. A pro horse person said their horse was ghetto and needed its hair fixed to be allowed in the competition. They get cowboy outfits with rhinestones. Mini didn't want to run as much in the middle, but they still say he's #1. They end up getting an 8th Place ribbon for Mini G as they were calling him. Thumbs up to the episode, it's worth checking out on the website if you didn't see on TV. Next week, they try to get Meaty in some ads.

Anyone out there have really bad sinuses? I have the solution for you. This was a recommendation from my Aunt Susie, so I figured I'd give it a try. It couldn't hurt, that's for sure. The product is called the NetiPot. It basically looks like a little flower pot, except you fill it up with warm water and these salt packets. It's a strange concept because you put it up one side of your nose and it drains out the other. I'm telling you though, it opens you up immediately and is easy to use. Don't knock it till you try it because now I'm hooked and you'll be the same once you give it a try:

It's time to gripe about something. You know what makes me livid? It's these geeks who have their phone or mp3 players attached to their ears. I don't get it. You know what I mean, the ones that clip onto their ear. You see people in the mall with them on, in their cars, etc. I know it's hands free and all, but come on. Basically, that is saying to the rest of the people looking at them, "Hey, look at me! I'm starving for attention!" Maybe I don't get the purpose and they are actually worth having, but these people look like fools out there. I can't be the only person who thinks that way.

Saturday night, it was movie time in Morgantown. Rambo! If you're a fan of the old Rambo movies, you're going to like this. I enjoyed it a lot, even if the acting and storyline weren't detailed. Going in, you know exactly what you're going to get though. Pure action, killing nonstop, and total violence. I'm going to rate this movie a 7.25, go check it out. In attendance for the movie was Cork, Spank, and myself. After that, we hit up IHOP with the same trio as well as Cork's girl Kristin. I tried a new combo they have and it rocks. Strawberry Banana French Toast Triangles. I'm talking excellent.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: Props for this one goes to my girl Jas in Arizona. Also, Answer said last week's ho wasn't worthy enough since she was from Australia, who knows. Hopefully this one is dirty enough: I see now she has it private though and it does he no justice, but she did have some trashy pics up earlier in the week before it went private, doh. Here's an other just to double up:

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: This is a video courtesy of Duce that was posted in Lobstah, our world famous message board. Kasher says it has to be staged and I figure he's probably right, but it's worth seeing for the short clip:

3 Quick Thangs:

1. Let's try some birthdays for Monday, January 28th. We have some garbage in this one. None of these are even close to big time stars, but we'll go through it anyways. Singer Sarah McLachlan, 40. See, I told you that it's gonna be a rough one. Mo Rocca, some guy who thinks he's funny and is on all of those VH1 shows, 39. Singer Brad Paisley, 36. Actor Joaquin Phoenix, he's doing it for his 34th. Who names their kid Joaquin? Former Celtic Tony Delk, he's also 34. I only put him in here since I met him before, no biggie. American Idol fro boy, Justin Guarini, 30. Backstreet Boy Nick Carter, 28. And last, we have Elijah Wood, actor that is now 27.

2. On Friday night/Saturday morning, I went to bed at 11:30 AM. Yep, I know. All week before I had been going to bed at a normal time for myself and then I pull that off. Oh well, I'll rock it out and continue doing my thing.

3. Random fact from The_Freak: AJ's Steakhouse in Grinnell, Iowa sells a 205 ounce sirloin called the Big Kahuna.

Friday, January 18, 2008

The Ron Jeremy Clause

Just call me a slacker, I went past the week mark, but it happens when you're a busy boy. Almost 2 weeks since we last met, for shame. What's on tap for this edition? We're going with the opening of Rob & Big, American Idol, Real World finale, the return of Cadbury Eggs, another road trip to Red Lobster, and all kinds of other things. Also, we'll discuss what in the world is going on with Snoop Dogg as of late. One thing that is tougher than most think is the order of what I'm going to ramble about and how it's placed in this space, but we're going wide open during today's action for you to read..

Of course, before you even read that, you're wondering the title of today's blog. Once again, we go to a voice of reason to provide this one. Last week it was MrsAnswer as she's flashing her money in Vegas, Jamie. This time around, it's The_Freak. You all know him well, but he still gets an introduction and the props for helping us out:

The_Freak (11:03:25 PM): I have a good Blog title for you if you're going to put a new one out.
Me (11:04:17 PM): Whatcha rolling with?
The_Freak (11:04:49 PM): The Ron Jeremy Clause
The_Freak (11:05:11 PM): Which apparently porn chicks have in their contracts that they won't rumble with Ron Jeremy because he is so ugly.

I'll start out with a trip to scenic Uniontown, PA. Yep, another Red Lobstah journey with the crew that rolled 10 deep. I know you're begging to know who all went. Even if you're not, you know I'm gonna tell you anyways: Me, Spank, Ozzie, Maria, The Fortneys, Cakes, Kari, Mills, and Mariah Carey. I'm always in for a nice road trip and this was another good one, especially since I just had to kick back and ride along to Ozzie's high paced driving, but I'm nobody to criticize someone else's driving skills since I'm horrible. I went with a new thing they have called Flavors of Shrimp. I loaded up huge on that one and it was pretty good. Spank brought up a pretty good point though. He was kinda fired up that he didn't get enough food (imagine that, he rips through food), but asked me to compare Red Lobster to Japanese hibachi style. No comparison at all and we both thought that. If you leave Japanese hungry, something is wrong and I even think the food quality is so much better. Still worth the trip, don't get me wrong. Fortney launched a biscuit (2nd straight trip we've left biscuits on the table, bad times) from the other side of the table at me and I fumbled it and it goes on the ground. Mills tells me to go for the 5 second rule. I wasn't shy to get it and eat it, but just as I was about to, our waitress freaks and tells me she'll get me new ones, doh. Time to set up another road trip with the crew.

Like it or not, you know you're an American Idol fan. Just admit it. I know it's cheezy, but I'm a big fan as most know. Well, we're back and time to report on Week 1 happenings! Tuesday night, the show starts out from the mean streets of Philly. I like Philly a lot, but it's somewhat of a dirty town in some areas and then the next street over is totally clean, I never can figure that out. Plus, the people tell it how it is and are dicks, but that's what makes the town. The first guy they show is Joey The Fat Guy, but he's no longer fat. He lost over 200 pounds and now is off to Hollywood. Paula cried at the second person they showed. He complimented her and was from Egypt. Melanie, a Taylor Hicks backup singer makes it. Singing wise, I'll say this Junot guy is the best so far out of both nights. He did some Elton John and it was actually impressive. Then we get this middle linebacker chick that is 16 years old and is a moose, literally plays linebacker for her school. Her story is that her mom is very sick and needs help breathing since she's so overweight. She bawls after they vote her off and all the judges walk her out. Alexis, this weird glitter girl, is the essence of Philly. She goes nuts on Simon and has the accent to go with it. Angela is this 26-year old MILF. Her kid has something similar to CP and brings a big family posse with her. She looks pretty good on first impression. Then we get this hot MMA (mixed martial arts) girl from Oregon that advances. A girl dressed up as a Star Wars character comes out and is weird. Brooke White has never seen an R-rated movie and went the last of the day and is right up there with Junot in my book.

Night 2 and we move to Dallas. Jessica, a former meth head (a la Jeff Hardy), has turned things around and is off to Hollywood. Bruce is 19 and hasn't kissed a chick yet, but it's his choice. Fingernail Guy has been saving his fingernail cuttings since the 8th grade. He brought the bag with him, strange. He advances though. Kayla Hatfield from Texas is one of my favorite characters so far. She got mangled bad in a car wreck a while back to where her face was obliterated. They fixed it up, but one of her eyes is messed up. She's happy all the time and the judges send her to Killa Cali. Katie from Houston is Simon's pick for the best so far this year. This goofy dude wants to be the governor of Oklahoma one day and his singing gets him to the next round. Colton Swon, sounds like a porn name, he's this big 18-year old farming hick. He rocked some George Strait and gets to go on a plane for the first time ever. I've never been on a big plane either, guess I'm missing out. A crazy amount of hicks they showed on TV this year, so if you like the southern twang, you're in. It's a love or hate thing, nobody is in between, but I've always been a huge fan of chicks with a big accent, good times.

The last thing of Idol deserves its own paragraph and rightfully so. Renaldo! Yep, you'll know him soon if you haven't already seen him. He comes out in this cape and has a hat with Simon's name on it. He created a song for Simon and the crew all ends up singing it. Simon says that song is going to be a hit, even though he's along the lines of a William Hung. They give him a no, but he gets the hugs and they dance with him. You MUST watch this vid to see Renaldo in action, he's good entertainment. Here is I Am Your Brother, and don't warn me for having this song stuck in your head for weeks:

Rob & Big is back! We open the new season with Rob being pissed that human turds are in the pool. They blame DJ Drama for doing it, but he claims innocence. They then bring in a lie detector guy to test Drama out. Drama passes the test, but they're still in search of who did it. A sidenote, too many commercials in the opener it seemed like. They hire a muralist to paint the bottom of the pool and he hooked it up big. They decide to set up security cams up and Drama tests it out. Rob shoots him with the net gun and that starts a net gun war. I now definitely want one of these net guns just to fool around with. They're that good, just to blast someone down and tangle them for no reason out of nowhere. Next week we get turtle races and off road action.

Onto the 2nd week that just went down on Tuesday. They go to the turtle races and pick one to race. They name him Black Bastard and he ends up getting rocked. Then they have an idea to go find a ringer turtle so they can win. They hit up a pond and find one and name it Speedy Claxton. They set up a turtle training area in their house. Afterwards, they go riding with motocross star Ricky Carmichael. He's out there doing his tricks, while Rob and Big are out there on scooters, making fools of themselves. It's time for Speedy to race and he doesn't do any better than their first. They're disappointed in Speedy and set him back to his home in the pond. The first week was much better than this one I thought. Next week we have them putting Mini Horse in a competition, that has to be good.

We've made it to the Real World: Sydney finale. It seems that by watching these seasons every year, that they end super fast. This one had that same feeling. This was an hour long episode, as they always are with the last episode. It starts off with the girls saying that Dunbar tells them he wants them all individually, but then dogs them otherwise. KellyAnne doesn't want to leave Cohutta and he tells her to come see him in Georgia. They go bar hopping and Cohutta finds KellyAnne grinding all over some dude and he gets fired up and asks her who she is going home to. She flips him off and Cohutta tells her that he's not going to chase her around anymore. KellyAnne goes to the bathroom and cries her eyes out like a baby to Ashli. Cohutta then calls the hick grandpa (who needs his own show), for his regular advice. She dives in bed with him and asks why he left the bar. He said she acted like a slut and she does the whole I'm sorry bit. They make up the next day, weird.

Dunbar worries about telling his chick at home that he got some off of Ashli. Dunbar tells Parisa that they hooked up and she didn't even know. She then does the girl thing and mentions it to Ashli. Ashli gets fired up at Dunbar and walks out of the bar. Dunbar goes nuts punching stuff and tells her that she's dead, launching f-bombs like my barber, that she can die on a bus, she's trash, etc. All of that, he's a character, sounds like some of my kids I have in class. He says she ruined his life. Go cry me a rivahhh both Dunbar and Ashli. You both couldn't wait to do it at the time and now it's like the worst thing ever, please. She goes to Dunbar for one last talk. She doesn't want to be known as "that girl" that gets some off a dude that has a chick. They hug afterwards, probably planned for TV. Parisa gives everyone little gifts that remind her of that person. People realize she means well and they all go back home, the end. Wednesday, it was reunion time for drama. I've spent too much time talking about this show that I'll just say that it was worth the watch.

I forgot to mention, but Cadbury Eggs have returned! Early too, I can't remember them out this early. Over the years, Cadbury should pay me some loyalties for plugging the greatest candy of all time in this very space. I should keep track of how many I eat this season, it'd be off the charts. If you're ever bored and money is burning a hole in your pocket, send me a bunch of those for a quality cheap present.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week:

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Snoop Dogg, where have you gone? I want the 1992 version back, this one is just a little strange. Sure, we know you can do the pimpin stuff, but give us the mean gangsta vibe. Anyways, this is Snoop's latest, it's out there, Sexual Eruption: To get that out of your head, feast on Snoop at his absolute best: That's the Snoop I want back, oh where have you gone?

3 Quick Thangs:

1. Let's roll out some birthdays for Saturday, January 19th. NFL coach Dan Reeves, he's now 64. Dolly Parton is 62. Peg Bundy, another one of those famous people that is known more for their TV names than real, she's now 54. Tennis stud back in the day, Stefan Edberg, he's forehanding it for his 42nd. Comedian Rodney Carrington, he's cracking up for his 40th. "I'm a man! I'm 40!" Junior Seau, ready for the Super Bowl and playing linebacker for 18 years, he goes for 39. Yep, I said linebacker for 18 years, crazy. Chris Kattan, annoying comedian, 38. Shawn Wayans, big respect there, 37. Alyssa Milano, 36, dang. Actor Jake Gyllenhall, he's cowboying up on his 28th. Tanner of Full House fame, she's now 26. We'd like to hype up none other than #basketball legend and blog reader, Kasher, who goes for his 26th! Get it done big boy! What a list! A rarity! Usually it's a list of bums, but this is top notch right here.

2. Dad is a huge crossword puzzle guy. He's ate up with it and dominates those things, but he had a good one the other day. He's a guy that doesn't know how to turn on a computer and has no desire to do so. As he's filling out a puzzle, he asks, "Is there an enter button on a computer?" Now that's keeping it old school.

3. Next Wednesday, 10:00 PM.. Real World/Road Rules Challenge, The Gaunlet III! Don't say I didn't warn ya when you get hooked watching that show. CT better last more than one week this time. If he punches some bum in the face, so be it, don't kick him off, he makes that show. I watch entirely too much pointless TV. That was most of the blog this time, watch these shows.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Jamie Is Awesome?

I like to have people pick my blog titles from time to time. Today's title is from MrsAnswer herself, Jamie in Vegas. How so?

Me: (1:59:09 AM): Almost time for a new blog to be put up. Any idea for a title I could use?
MrsAnswer: (1:59:34 AM): jamie is awesome?
Me: (2:00:02 AM): That's what I'll roll with then.

I guess with her question mark there, she's not sure how awesome she even is. But as usual, we give the readers what they want around here, everyone is a part of the action.

You know what isn't too shabby? That it's 2008 and we're still going strong in here. It's not for a while, but once May rolls around, that's 4 years we've been hanging out in this spot. Who would've guessed that? I don't have any resolutions or anything crazy like that. I'm sure I could think of something just to say it, but that's what everyone else does. "I'm gonna start working out, I'm gonna stop smoking, I'm gonna watch my diet, I'm gonna try to treat people nicer." Uh.. no you're not buddy. We can see right though that. And no, I'm in a great mood, just saying what I think on most people's resolutions. Sure, you'll get the diamond in the rough who may do those things, but in general, they usually fail miserably.

Speaking of New Years, you're probably wondering how rowdy I got that night. You're expecting some drunken fest to just shock everyone, but no go on that. Sorry to let the troops down. It's funny because most of the past week, me and my crew had something going on every night it seemed. Whether it was playing ball, video games, going to a movie, watching NBA, or whatever. Then that night comes around and we didn't plan a single thing, go figure. So that night was spent at home, I'll call it a relax night and I didn't complain one bit. I ate Chinese (pineapple chicken, pork fried rice and sweet donuts) and flipped between BET and MTV's celebrations. Too much excitement I tell ya, not sure how I handle it all. It's not like my buddies did anything either that night, they were bums too, guess we're getting old.

Since we're talking about 2008, we're going to go down the road of darkness. I realize it's a sick thing to do, but me and my buddies still participate regardless, it's competition, why not? Yep, that would be the infamous Lobstah Celebrity Deathpool! This is ran by Commish Kasher and it's actually interesting. For the newbies to the blog, I'll break it down quick for you. Each year on December 31st, we turn in 10 celebrities who we "think" will die in the upcoming year. Yeah, that's pretty ruthless, you don't have to tell me that, but you can't say it's not at least intriguing. How do you score points? You take their age they die at and subtract it from 100. For example, if you have someone that is 53 when they die, you get a whopping 47 points. As an added twist, you get to distinguish one person as your "lock" pick. If that person dies, and mine did last year, you get double the points. What does my roster look like for 2008?

Barbara Billingsley (Mom on Leave It To Beaver)
Jimmy Carter (Former US President)
Bob Feller (Hall of Fame MLB pitcher)
Zsa Zsa Gabor (Actress)
Bobby “The Brain” Heenan *LOCK* (Wrestling manager)
Charlton Heston (Actor & NRA guy)
BB King (Blues guitarist)
Scott Hall (Wrestler; a.k.a. Razor Ramon)
Raven (Wrestler)
Nancy Reagan (Former First Lady)

I used a good bit of those last year, so I'll try some again. I had Lady Bird Johnson die last year as my lock. This year, my lock is currently in a coma (the bad one), but he's gotten out of some big time surgeries and things of the like in the past. Heenan is one of the all time greats, tough to see him go down this path. I only have two people of my 10 that are under 63 years old. Again, it's sick and demented, but you'd be surprised how many people do these things. That and it already has your attention and you want in for 2009.

It's been a while since I've had any Harry Potter updates. I believe it's time for another. The last time I mentioned, I was on Book 5: Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix. With work and me reading other things at the same time, this was a longer read and it was a big book. It is finished up though and was awesome. I've heard from a few people say that this book wasn't as good as the others, but I must have a different opinion on that. As far as detail and setting things up, this one had a lot more going for it I thought. The only complaint I had on this book was that the battle between Dumbledore and Lord Voldemort was too quick as far as pages dedicated to it. In this one, Harry finds out many answers he's been wondering about over the last five years. Now I'm started on Book 6: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Yep, I'm a dork, but it's time to get pumped up. People who have already read these know what I'm talking about.

You want a different topic? Ok, we'll talk about commercials. I'm sure you'll know the commercial I'm talking about since it's on every 2.3 seconds. You know the Kiafest commercial where the dude is dancing around like a fool to the maniac song? It's pretty cheezy, but I get a kick out of watching my Dad see the commercial. He sees it and refuses to have it on. He'll start lighting that bum up with f-bombs and going off on it like it ruins his day or something, good times. We need a YouTube of that. But we do have the clip of the actual commercial:

Here's a topic bound to garner up some response. When do you take a shower? Uh oh, what direction am I going with this? I usually get mine late in the evening or at night. Sometimes I'll get a few in a day, I'm probably a bit of a clean freak when it comes to that, but I hate feeling dirty. But as the moral always goes, I can always clean my dirty self off, while our weekly Dirty Thug Ho is a different kind of dirty. Anyways, to the people that shower way early in the morning, do you not shower when you get home from work or wherever? Probably not and then you just go to bed dirty? I never understood that one, who wants to lay in a dirty bed? Hopefully you get a few showers a day. And on top of that, I talk to a lot of people who don't change their bed sheets often at all. What?? You serious with me on that? I feel bad just changing my bed once a week and some people go crazy long periods without changing it. So you lay around at work all day, sweat yourself to death, come home, lay on the couches and then jump into your bed all greasy. Well, better you than me. Just another one of my tangents I like going on, telling things how they are, but doing it in my normal laid back style.

It's time yet again for another Real World report. We're getting to the end of the season almost, it's flying by. Noirin is getting serious with Isaac and is trying to convince him to go on a long cruise with her. Isaac tells the house that he has two kids and they wonder if he's telling the truth or not. He tells a lot of wild stories, so they're not sure what to think. Alex come to hang on his birthday. The last they saw of him he was in the middle of the Parisa and Trish love triangle. Parisa and Ashli let the cat out of the bag with telling Noirin that Isaac has kids. Isaac tells the girls he doesn't to talk to them the rest of the night after they said that. Alex and Parisa get all over each other in the hot tub. Isaac ends up telling Noirin that the kid thing was a prank and she was all relieved. Isaac is one weird dude, but he's entertaining at least. The finale is in 2 weeks?

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week:

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: This one comes courtesy of Dom, big props for this. I'm not sure how many blog readers will appreciate it, but I do, it's the latest Ice Cube video. This thing is pretty controversial and this is what rap is all about. Taking us back, Cube doesn't change his style for anyone and goes at it. Here it is, Gangsta Rap Made Me Do It:

3 Quick Thangs:

1. Mondays can be dreadful, but we're gonna bring light on the subject. Birthdays for Monday, January 7th: We'll start things off with a C-list celeb, the bearded wonder, Kenny Loggins. He's 59 on Monday. Since we're on the singing path, John Cougar Mellencamp, 56. Actor David Caruso, he's hitting 51. News chick Katie Couric, she is doing it for the Big 5-0. American Idol judge Simon Cowell (and it starts in a few weeks!), 48. Hockey tough guy Donald Brashear, he's punching up heads to the tune of 35 years old. Actress Rachel McAdams, 31. Screech of Saved By The Bell fame, he's now at 30 and probably just as famous for his porn that is out there (as he's with a group of chicks) just as much as his show. You know you've all seen it online, don't lie. Golfing hottie Natalie Gulbis, she's 24. If you don't know her, check out some of her pics, real nice.

2. Chocolate syrup. I made a late night ice cream snack a bit ago. 6 scoops of vanilla, chocolate syrup, and some peanut butter thrown in. I may be little, but I can put away some junk food with the best of them. Anyways, let's shift back to chocolate syrup. When you get out the bottle of chocolate syrup and pour it on whatever, how can ya not be a pig about it and turn the bottle up and drink some of it first? You're not touching the bottle with your mouth at all, but do this in front of a bunch of people and they think it's the most disgusting thing ever. I'd say at least half of ya reading have done that before, it's a must every time I use it just because.

3. This Tuesday, you all need to gear up. How so? It's Season 3 of Rob & Big on MTV, 10:30 PM EST. If you've never watched, you've been in a cave, you're missing out. Also, props to everyone for wishing me a birthday for today and all of that, much appreciated. And if I must say so myself, I think that was a pretty good blog effort. I hope you enjoyed, see ya in a week or so!