Monday, June 25, 2007

"Get A New Face!"

I'm going to attempt to hit all cylinders on this post. As usual, there's a little bit for everyone. In this extravaganza, you get the normal solid ending with randomness, a softball update from Mario's Fishbowl, ping pong, Cracker Barrel, MILFs, sweaty chicks, new CDs, Rob & Big, Making The Band 4, and much much more! I already know right away with a few of those topics, I have your interest and you're only tempted to read on. That's how I try to do it around here. Our first pic from The_Freak:

I got a lot of feedback on last week's post, so thanks to everyone who sent in a comment on here or either hit me up while I was online at all hours of the day. My favorite comment was from Cousin Ozzie. It was in reference to me bashing chicks who cake on makeup and end up looking like clowns: "As for the makeup, I am totally with you on that one. Some girls need a little bit of makeup, but if you think you need to cake it on, then you just need to get a new face." Get a new face! That's just a classic quote right there folks, so credit has to be given in this very space.

I put thought into each blog of how I'm going to lay out my topics. I don't want to bore people early on and have them hanging on to nothing towards the end. I go for the attention grab and then suck you right in the rest of the way. Maybe I've talked about this next thing before, I'm not sure, but we'll revisit it if not. My boy Cork took the different opinion on me with this one, but maybe I'm weird. First off, seeing a dude sweat, your first impression is probably that they're dirty, filthy, and smelly. That's true for me, but then again I'm a dude, chicks may feel opposite on seeing that possibly? Now let's flip that to the other side. Our scenario is having a chick that is dripping with sweat. Nasty? It probably could be to some, but unless she's some huge girl that can't get through a door (that would be nasty), I don't mind a girl that gets down with it and sweaty. After explaining my theory on this to Cork, he thought that I took it that girls don't sweat or their sweat doesn't stink. That's not where I'm coming from. I'm an easy guy to please. If you're a sporty type chick with sweat rolling off of ya, that can't be a bad thing. To each his own, but that's my weird opinion, I'm probably in the minority.

Big weekend for the softball team. We had 3 games this past weekend (1 on Friday, 2 on Sunday). Friday we got crushed, so we knew we had to bring it on Sunday. Mario's Fishbowl was about to take a turn for the worse, but we had to put the breaks to that. On the first game of Sunday, we rocked it out and got a much needed win. We put the beat down to this team and defensively we did great. I've been the lead off man lately due to the speed. I need to come around on the batting, but right now I'm at .250, not where I want to be, but it'll improve. My game is definitely all about defense though, I love rocking out left field, I think I do a fine job indeed out there. We're not that great, but we still have a fun time with it. It gets me out of my town for a while on the weekends and I get to look at hot chicks in short shorts or tight pants when I play. How can I lose in that situation? You're right, I can't, even if we get blown out during our game, there's always the scenery to check out.

Since I have absolutely way too much time on my hands this summer, Friday was another Cracker Barrel trip. What's so ironic about that? Nothing except that I was bored enough to wake up at 8:00 AM when I'm normally just going to bed at that time. This trip was attended by none other than my boys Posey and Spank. A few stories from that adventure. Spank sees a side of tomatoes on the menu. We all thought it was weird to even have that on a menu and why it'd be on a breakfast menu, who knows. Anyways, he was bored and ordered a side of tomatoes. They bring him a plate with 2 slices of tomatoes on it. When he got his bill, he sees that they charged him $1.50 for those 2 slices. He about flipped and I can't blame him. Who charges $1.50 for that mess? As noted before, the Cracker Barrel chicks near us, a few of them are high quality. And then we saw a lot of hottie MILFs. Something about that gets to me in a good way. No, I don't want a chick with kids, sorry, but they're kinda hot in a naughty way for the ones that look good. You know what I mean. Only in here do you get that kind of thought and wisdom put into MILFs of all things.

We started up the ping pong circuit once again. I cleaned out my garage and we did battle on Thursday. It was the Cracker Barrel Gang of Posey, Spank, and myself. My game wasn't on at all. I wasn't nearly as aggressive as I normally am. I key that as one big thing I messed up on. I'm never the type of pong player to be on defense, that's no fun to me. If I can't go down trying to punish the ball in someone's face, you might as well put a fork in me. Spank was unbeatable that day. He got a new fancy paddle that has crazy spin and there wasn't a lot that me and Posey could do about it. A spin player is my weakness. If I play someone that tries to bring straight power against my style of game (which is also power), I always feel I have a huge advantage. I'll take my chances in those cases. Hopefully we can start playing regularly again, one of my favorite all time sports.

How's TV land treating me? I'll focus on two shows this week. First, it's our trip to Rob & Big's world. Last week's episode was really good I thought, add another one to the already great season. During this episode, Big Black wanted to go back to his stripper roots. They had him practice with a dance coach and get an outfit for the presentation. He had this pink jacket and called himself Black Lavender. It was just funny to me seeing Rob and his boys in this chick strip club and them dying laughing as the chicks were going crazy over some 400lb dude taking his clothes off. Also, another MTV show that is back in action, Making The Band 4. This time Puff is after a R&B group of dudes. These shows are always high drama, so you can't beat watching it, or that's how I feel anyways. My favorites after one episode, and I'm sure it'll change would be DeAngelo and Julius, for whatever that's worth to the fans at home.

Here's a random porn-level thing I realized, or didn't realize. To the little kiddies, skip to the next paragraph, hah. Coming home from Friday night's softball game, I wasn't quite ready to go home yet. I stopped at Wal-Mart to load up on food and then went to Arby's in Fairmont. Arby's by the way, as I've mentioned in here, is only the best fast food place ever. And I'm giving Arby's a free plug and the excitement to get mentioned in the blog. Anyways, I had my iPod with me and I needed to get caught up on my sports radio podcats for Friday. Instead of driving and getting BBQ sauce all over me at the same time, I decide to pull off at the rest area and eat in peace. Nothing major yet, I know, just keep following along. In the process of all of that, I had to wizz, so naturally you go to the bathroom. Maybe I see too much unrealistic porn stuff (as do we all, most won't admit though), but when you wizz in a rest stop bathroom you immediately think of the infamous glory hole (if you're in some coma and don't know what that is, just look it up) that someone asked me to talk about. I guess we're not in the mean streets of California to truly appreciate those in abundance as they're supposedly all over the place out there, who knows. Well, I've never seen one here, but who says that couldn't be a dude back behind that? I'd say chances are higher than most think. That'd be rough times, not cool indeed. Hey, I don't bring you the boring stuff. If it's on my mind, I'll talk about it. You might think some things are weird, gross, or whatever, but it does keep your interest.

How about a new batch of CDs to my collection? That's what I'll bring you..

Dirty: The Art Of Storytelling. I have the other albums from these guys and they're really good. They bring about a grimey and southern style from Alabama. These guys are talented, check them out if you haven't yet. This CD gets a double thumbs up from me.

Fabolous: From Nothin' To Somethin'. I'm a big Fabo guy and always have been. While this CD is pretty good, it's not like his old stuff if you ask me. One, he doesn't rhyme as fast as he used to it seems. Another is that he doesn't do enough verses. He's great on his own, he doesn't need that many cameos on the album. Howevahhh, even though I said a few negative things, this album is rock solid. It's Fabo, you'll be in good shape getting this one.

Huey: Notebook Paper. Yep, the Pop, Lock & Drop It guy. You know you've practiced that dance in the mirror if you're a chick. Anyways, this album features such cats as Lloyd, T-Pain, and Bow Wow. I haven't listened to this one yet to get a vibe.

Lil Wyte: The One And Only. Obviously, a whitey rapper. For those who don't know Lil Wyte, he's boys with Three 6 Mafia and is part of Hypnotize Minds. If you're into the Memphis rap scene, you'll be into Lil Wyte and his style. Some funny names of songs on this one: We Ain't Kool, I Got Dat Candy, Feelin' Real Pimpish, Gettin' Money Boy, Dat Boy, and Gun Do Da Talkin'.

Paul McCartney: Memory Almost Full. Whoa, two back-to-back whitey CDs I got, imagine that. And one is a non-rap album. Why is this on the list? I made a copy for Mom and she was big on it. I figured, what the heck, I might as well burn one of a legend and see what he's up to these days at the ripe young age of 65. 65 years old and chicks are still all over his nads. Dance Tonight is the song that is out now. Not too bad for that type of music. Something way different than what I normally listen to, I know. Paul and Axl Rose need to do a whistling song together, I demand it.

T-Pain: Epiphany. I liked T-Pain's first CD, but haven't listened to his sophomore edition yet to give a detailed review. Some good pimpin' R&B here, so it can't be too bad one wouldn't think. Yung Joc, Akon (he's becoming the new Bun B as he's on everyone's CD), Shawnna, and Kardinal Offishall to name a few are a part of this action.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week:

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Kasher bringing the goodies in this two-part bit of excellence. It's a skit making fun of magician David Blaine. Brilliant stuff here, take my word on it and just watch. The guy playing Blaine is great and the stuff his buddies say will crack you up good. "What the eff??" Part 1: and Part 2:

Bird's Song of the Week: Get U Down by Warren G. I don't always have to put brand new stuff in here. There's never a bad time for a Warren G jam. Also, Cube and Snoop as part of this.

3 Quick Thangs:

1. I must be missing out on the Propel water craze. I gave it another try the other day, horrible. It gets two big thumbs down from me. You guys can have it all, not for me. Another one everyone and their brother is going wild for is Fiji water. I haven't tried it, but are they just buying it since it's in that cool container?

2. Happy time! Let's try birthdays for Tuesday, June 26th: Mr. Miyagi would've been 74 today. Biker Greg LeMond goes for 47. Current NFL analyst and former player, Sterling "Horseface" Sharpe, Happy 39th. Redneck singer Gretchen Wilson, hot in a dirty way, she's 34. Derek Jeter, a god in New York, he turns 33 on Tuesday. How time flies. There you have it, blow out the candles.

3. Oh goodness! Just days away from THE greatest day of the entire year for me. Yep, you guessed it, the NBA Draft! Thursday night, be there! I can barely contain myself on this, no lie.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Chicks With Clown Makeup

Once again, I'm bringing the good mood to pump everyone up with. It seems like last week's blog featuring the trip to the Pirates game was a big hit. I don't usually brag a bunch about my blogs, but even I think that one was rock solid. I got a lot of people writing me or telling me in person that I delivered. Now the pressure is on to follow that up with another quality outing. I'm up for the task because I have a bunch of different things to talk about. As usual, there's something in here for everyone. Don't be afraid to drop off comments at the bottom of this post. I haven't got many on here lately, but most just tell me online when I'm chatting or in person, so that's the deal with that, that works. Prepare for a really long post of kiddie birthdays, Red Lobstah, breaking the law, Africam, Rob & Big, barber stories, a trip to Yann's, and much much more..

As the week goes along, I'm always writing little notes on paper or coming on my blog's page to save a rough draft. I do that because I don't want to forget something that happened a week or so again and lose the fact that I lost something great to write about. I'm weird like that. You know how it goes, but it makes for a better read for the people out there in cyberspace.

First on the list, we go to Posey's birthday party for his little girl Kierstn. We had a big turnout and we did it cookout style. Kierstn is huge into both Dora and The Wiggles. Every present she opened up seemed to deal with that and my boy Spank was starting to freak out. Why's that? He couldn't make up his mind what was worse between those two. First, he said Dora was all freaky looking and said we really don't even know what she is. He didn't know if it was an alien or what, that's good stuff. Then all of The Wiggles gear has these gay guys (who knows if they really are, but they will be for this blog's purpose) all smiling and riding around happy with each other in little cars or playing instruments. In one picture, they were riding around and you could only see one hand on each dude except for the blue guy. Posey said that one is legit straight, so we'll give him some slack for going after chicks. The other dudes, who knows what they were doing. Yep, we notice these things around here. Whatever happened to He-Man and GI Joe figures we had when growing up? Yeah, that shows my age, but those guys had guns and swords, we turned out ok for the most part. Now kids play with gay people and freaks. :) That's my opinion, like it or not, I keep your interest.

Second on the list, let's go to last Saturday's trip to Red Lobstahhh. We had a total of 8 on the trip such as Mudcat, Fortney, Abbey, Kari, Matty Cakes, Ozzie, Maria, and myself. For those keeping track at home, I rode with Fortney, Abbey, and Mudcat for this mini road trip. How can you go wrong in the car talking about old school rap and R&B, ping pong (soon to be played again very soon), listening to some old pimp music, the upcoming 1997 Reunion, and whatever else goes down. Me and Mudcat were talking about people that we didn't get a hold of yet that we graduated with. One was Colby McCoy. Fortney busts out this classic, "Colby Fuckin' McCoy! Wow.. That's what he's known as. Colby Fuckin' McCoy." The locals will laugh at as he's one of those dudes I haven't seen since high school probably.

Here's a side topic from Red Lobstah. I've talked about tipping before when I go out to eat and I'm usually a generous tipper. I feel that nobody tips those bums (everyone is a bum till I actually know them) fairly, so I hook them up for the hard job. Anyways, what gets me is when a place adds in gratuity on your bill. I understand the reasoning, at least they'd know they would be getting some kind of tip. With me, that's a pimp slap to the face. I know you can't judge people you don't know, but come on people. Let me give you my own tip. If you put gratuity in there, I'm not giving you anymore just because I've been insulted. You're losing money from me. I'm no high roller at all, just a regular bum, but I always feel it's my duty to tip more than I should. Food wise? It rocked big though, I'm always happy with that. One thing though, we left biscuits on the table! What?! You can't do that at Red Lobstah. Usually we're all fighting over them like it's gold on a plate and we gotta tell the waiters to bring more and it takes them ages to do so. This time? We had leftovers, doh! Next time, we can't let that happen. Back me up on this people.

On the way home, we got busted by the cops! Thrown against the back of the car and cuffed up. Nah, not all Pacman Jones style, but I do have a little story. We were rolling through Enterprise (Fortney's version of E-Town, yet we had to steal that for my territory in East Shinnston and we call us E-Town too, confused?) and came past the Enterprise Express that has underrated hot dogs. More on hot dogs in a bit. Fortney sees a cop car and knows he was going to fast and pulls over around the corner. He knew he was busted and the cop didn't even have to turn on his lights, amazing. Of course you're going to freak out and think you got a ticket. Turns it it was former Lincoln High grad Robbie Waybright on the scene. Sheriff maybe? After some small talk, he let us off the hook and that's the story of us breaking the law. I know that's not gangsta, but sometimes even some of E-Town's finest (on both sides in the car) have to lay low and relax.

Africam. What's that you ask? It's the new late night sensation of my online crew and it's catching on like fire. Basically what it is, is a 24/7 live stream of animals in Africa. It doesn't sound like much, but hear me out. They are 6 hours ahead of me (Eastern time) and real late at night over here it gets to rockin'. It's not as fun by yourself, you gotta have a crew. The same people that laughed before, they're hooked now, so you'll do the same. Anyways, you get to see giraffes, my boys the zebras, impalas, monkeys, wildebeest, black backed jackals, and a ton of other things. As you're watching and talking online, you give commentary to spice things up to make it stupid. Waiting for rumbles or something wild to happen, you end up watching this stuff for a long time. Granted, I'm online all the time anyways, and it may seem weird, but if you're interested in checking it out, go to Africam at and click on Nkorho Stream at the top left and you're in business after you watch a commercial ad. During the day in Africa, the cameraman (who we dub as Chip because it sounds like he's eating chips all day long and crunching them, credit to Corndog) is rotating around the land. At night, it's not worth checking out as it's a view of the infamous pond, but once daylight hits (a bit after midnight here), the action doesn't stop. How can you go wrong with people that have no clue about animals that ramble on with some funny comments? I'm not sure you can. Thanks to my boy Blahah for letting us know about this as Corndog, DerekHood, Bono, Duce, Cork and others are part of the ride. My girl Jas is cussing me for getting her addicted to it, it's worth checking out. Feed your addiction.

I have to start wrapping this thing up. Yesterday was a trip to infamous Yann's Hot Dogs in Fairmont with Posey. It's one of the legendary spots. Looking at it from the outside, it's a dump. It's also real small inside and I've wrote about it before, but it's been a while. The excitement is just being there. First off, you can't order ketchup on your dogs or the old guy will flip out and start going nuts. You order your dogs how he wants it. The only choice you get basically if you want onions or not. This review pretty much sums the place up exactly, so check this out: We got there early enough to where they didn't run out of dogs and the place was booming. I'm not a big eater, but they were so hot yesterday that I couldn't eat three of them. Tore me up.

Rob & Big has been solid lately. This past week, we had Rob threatening his cousin, the house assistant, that he'd be fired for being lazy. They also met a mini horse trainer and took their horse to get his behavior fixed since he's been rowdy. A third thing? They got a topless maid for whatever that's worth. There's only been one episode this season so far that hasn't lived up to potential and that was the time machine.

A trip to my barber a few days ago. As usual, you pay for the experience and not the haircut. He was getting all worked up how much other places charge for haircuts and how he rocks it out like no other. Then he got to talking about chicks. He was telling a guy waiting after me that I was one of the smartest dudes he knew because I don't get caught up in chick drama much and that they know where to find me if need be, "Send em to Stewart Street to get some of that canned ham!" You can make your own thoughts on that quote, it's a good one. How can you go wrong with that? And that's not including f-bombs every 2.3 seconds.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: Apparently, some of the links I put up for the chicks, you need to login to MySpace to see all of their pics? I'm not sure, but pretty much everyone and their brother has a page, so get in there. And this one here isn't so thug, but she'll fill the dirty and hot part, so here's our dirty dirty:

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: I have an excellent one here. My boy Corndog found this one and it's classic Tracy Morgan on live TV. "Someone gonna get pregnant while I'm in town!" Then he's dancing around with his shirt off. A+ clip here.

Bird's Song of the Week: Shawty by Plies featuring T-Pain.

3 Quick Thangs:

1. Ok, time for a makeup rant. I've done this before, but it doesn't seem to work. If you're a chick that cakes makeup on like crazy, what's the deal? I honestly don't understand. I'm a nice guy, but I'm to the point walking around seeing some of these random dirties with a tub full of makeup that I just want to tell them they look pathetic. I don't want to see my girls looking like clowns, forget that mess. Less is better, or even none. That's my fashion advice for the day. I'm not a subscriber to GQ for nothing, hah.

2. It's time to send the wishes out there since it's Father's Day time. "Who dat is? Dat jus yo baby daddy!" Anyways, props out there to the Dads and Dads to be. Bought any cards lately for birthdays or whatever? It's like gas prices. They're ridiculous now if you haven't checked. I just got one for $5.29, highway robbery. Do I get a free massage or some dirty thug ho with that? You're killin' me Smalls.

3. Happy happy time.. Sunday, June 17th. Politician Newt Gingrich, 64. The he/she known as Barry Manilow, 61. Comedian Joe Piscopo, fans of the 80s will know him as a C-level dude, he's celebrating his 56th. Actor Greg Kinnear, better known for his days of Talk Soup, he's now 44. Tennis girl Venus Williams, 27. That's all I can do for ya on that. I hope you enjoyed this long edition.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Dancing Fatties at PNC Park!

Yet another weekend in my exciting summer life. Usually it's not too exciting, but I can't complain since I don't really have to do anything worthwhile for a few months. Or at least nothing other than just kind of hang out and do my thing. The power of words can make it seem like I'm the busiest guy in the world though, I like that. Last Monday was one of the best trips I've had to a Pirates game, so most of this blog will feature stories and pictures from that action. I'll also have a little thing on my crazy hours online, yet another softball game, and whatever else we feel like talking about.

Time to set the scene for Monday. It was my boy Posey's 29th birthday and we did it in style. We leave the mean streets around 2:30. Then we go to the mall to pick up Walz. After that it's a trip to Go-Mart for gas. That's when Posey let me have the reigns to the pimp van since everyone else wanted to drink. That was probably scary enough for those guys since they probably drive better drunk than I do sober, but I think I did rather well, the van was smooth and I didn't mind like I thought I would on the driving part. After that, we go to Morgantown to pick up Cork. So on this trip, we have Posey riding shotgun, while Walz and Cork man the middle section and guard the beer cooler. Meanwhile, I'm drinking my Vitamin Water, eating candy, and they're pounding beers. What a combo, my crew rocks. Enough of setting the stage up, it's time to get to Pittsburgh where we really got our pimp on. Well, I guess there was no pimpin' since I was the only single guy of the group and the chick quality on this trip was pathetic unfortunately, but them's the breaks as the saying goes. So instead of that, we got our swagger on instead. Onto Pittsburgh we go..

We get into town and always ride the boat over across the river. Much easier on traffic and you can't beat it. You can see us in the first pic, boarding the boat for whatever that's worth (Cork, Walz, Me, and Posey in that order). Since nobody was at the game, they just took a small boat (Good Ship Lollypop for the locals) to get us there instead of the big fancy ones. We waited till we got there to get tickets and we got some of the best seats I've had. We had outfield bleacher seats, first row right on the wall. We were literally right behind the left fielder. That meant that we could cuss the left fielder all we wanted. Brady Clark of the Dodgers had a bad day because Walz was on him like no other. Our section was cracking up at how Walz would dog him every single inning. One thing, no matter how many games I go to and sit out there, I'm always amazed at how much ground an outfielder covers in the majors. If you've never seen it up close, you have no idea whatsoever. I thought I covered a lot of ground playing outfield in my softball league, not even close to what these guys do, it's nuts.

And then the story that totally made the entire trip. Me and Posey (yeah yeah, the use of I should be there, but that sounds like a rich boy talking and that's not me) are the type that will just talk to any random bum to start a conversation. Whether it was people in our section, to the old lady at the gas station (more on her later), to people on the boat, we didn't care. My boy Spank always laughs on road trips of how I'll be one of the last people to come out of the gas station, with a handful of candy and see me talking to some random bum. Hey, I like to ramble on in person like I do in here, that's just how it goes, fun stuff. My moral? You get some awesome stories from the weirdos out there. Try it out.

Anyways, I got off track for the story that made our trip. As we sat down, Posey was next to this 400 pound dude who I didn't think was quite right. Naturally, Posey is going to have something up his sleeve and starts making this guy a buddy of ours. Right from the start, I knew we had gold on our hands. Later in the game, we saw this guy in a section by himself with his shirt off and waving his shirt. The light went off. That's when Posey came up with the plan to stand up, take his shirt off and get things started. He convinced James (me and Walz kept calling him James Howard for the locals since he reminded us of a classic like that and his name was really James) to take his shirt off and do the same. Our section LOVED it. Posey was calling them spaghetti and meatball and the crowd thought it was the greatest. I was literally in tears, guess you had to be there, but I did get a few pics of the action. How can you go wrong with a guy that is 140 or so and a guy that is at least 400 jumping around with their shirts off and getting the crowd fired up? That alone was worth the price of my admission.

On the way home, it's a late night stop off Exit 41 to Waffle House of course. One thing I always wondered, why doesn't Waffle House sell shirts and other things at the store? That'd sell like hotcakes, or waffles if you will. Their website has a few awful camo outfits, but I want some quality regular shirts instead of that mess. Bring it to me Waffle House. I got the ham and cheese omelette and it was pretty good indeed. You can load anything up with a bunch of cheese and I'm going to like it. Then we stopped at a gas station on the way home. Posey asked this old lady worker what he could do for hiccups. She said to light a match, toss it in a cup of water, take the match out, then drink the water and you'd be cured guaranteed. That's a new one to me, maybe it's common to everyone else. My opinion on that theory? Old ladies are usually good people to trust, so I'll give that a try one day. You should live by that too, how can ya doubt a nice old lady that is just trying to help?

Summer has just began for me and my hours are totally screwed up. A few nights ago (or I guess it'd be morning), I went to bed at 9:30 AM. I haven't been to bed before 6:30 AM for the past 4 nights or so. What do I do? On Thursday for example, I'm online WAY too much, but that's my style, you all know it. I wake up at 2:00. I get in a quick run and a bite to eat. I'm hanging online from around 3:00-5:30. Then I roll to DQ to get the most underrated burgers anywhere, home to eat it, and back online by 7:00 PM. After that, I'm online straight from then till around 7:00 AM. Basically I was up that day for 17 hours and in my computer chair for 14½ of those hours. And it's been like that for most of the week, I'm a mess, hah.

We were to have a softball game on Friday night. No dice. I get there for a 6:00 game and a minute after I pull in the lot, rain goes nutty. I drove up to Morgantown for nothing? Not good. But it wasn't a lost trip because I rolled with Cork, Cork's chick, Cork's Mom, Cork's sister, and Cork's nephew to Roadhouse. A lot of corking going on there. I'm usually not a huge baby person (I'm sure it'll change if I ever have kids), but between Posey's babies and Cork's nephew, they're the type of babies that don't get on your nerves by doing nothing but whining and screaming at the top of their lungs. Quality kids as we like to say around here, those I can handle for sure, so props to them. The ones that don't shut up, not for me, hah. Just my honest opinion, that's what ya get around here. Some of life's best advice.

I've been rocking it as far as my running schedule goes recently. In the past week and a half or so, I've ran 4 different places. I like to switch it up everyday for a change. Eliptical, treadmill, on my town's rail trail, and my school's track. All give a little different workout too, so we'll see what goes down. Nothing crazy, but hey, it's getting out there and actually doing it.

This Sunday has everyone jizzing over. Why's that? I'm one of few who never got into The Sopranos. Not sure why, just didn't. Weird for a Tally to not give a Mafia series a chance. I'm sure I'd love it if I ever watched, but I haven't had HBO in a while and no desire to rent or buy the DVDs. Howevahhh, everyone and their brother is having an opinion to what the finale is going to be like this Sunday night. You ask 50 people, you'll get 50 totally unique answers to what drama we'll see. That kinda has me intrigued, even if I've never seen a full episode in my life. I don't see this being the "end" as I think they'll leave an opening if they ever want to make any lost episodes or even a movie. I say Tony goes down in a blaze or glory. I'm not going with the Scarface ending or even him siding with witness protection. I say whoever is in on the hit against Tony is going to get sprayed down with bullets. The end will have Tony depressed since he lost so much, but he'll be big pimp of New York and Jersey. But what do I know, nothing.

This is turning into a pretty big post, so I better get to the bottom half of this thing to send us home. Already in the next edition, I should have stories of Kierstn Posey's 2nd birthday party (the rowdy madness, feel it!), a Saturday night trip with the crew to Red Lobstahhhh, and whatever goes down next week. Stay tuned!

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week:

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: A Pimp Named Slickback:

Bird's Song of the Week: Dedication by Jammah and Ruffnick. Yep, another hot one from my boy Jammah, a fellow blog reader, and his crew doing it big in Turkey. I was putting on his message board, the piano keys gives me a West Coast/Dr. Dre feel and you can't go wrong with that. Fast raps mixed in with some slowdown stuff, check it out. or go to the MySpace page at

3 Quick Thangs:

1. How about some birthdays for Sunday, June 10th? Yep, I know you can't wait either. The bearded wonder, former NFL QB great, Dan Fouts turns 56. Politician John Edwards, 54. Actress Elisabeth Shue, 44. Actress Elizabeth Hurley, she's now 42, I wouldn't have guessed that. Biggie Smalls' ex chick and R&B girl, Faith Evans, 34. Ice skater Tara Lipinski, 43 pounds and 24 years old. Also 24, for the #basketball crew, it's an old school guy from #baseball and that would be Dodger, turning 24.

2. Today's Fun Fact? Most tropical marine fish could survive in a tank filled with human blood.

3. Just watched a real nice 10th inning war between my Yanks and the local Pirates. I know my boys aren't any good, but it's still fun seeing my boys take on the team that we get basically every game for on TV in my area. 10th inning, Bottom of the 9th at Yankee Stadium, bases loaded.. Jeter steps up to the plate.. That's when I started getting cold chills as the fans were chanting for Jeter. Game winning hit. Yeah, you all hate the Yanks, but that's how I'm ending this post anyways. Jetahhhh!

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Go Mario's Fishbowl!

June is here, time to welcome the summer in with style. Although I'm not a fan of hot weather, it does let me be a bum for a few months, so that's always a great time. In this edition you get to hear how our softball team did, Real World talk, a great email I got from Sidell about meeting Kevin Martin and some dirt on WVU football coach, Rich Rodriguez, book chatter, a trip to PNC Park coming up, as well as the traditional bottom half of the blog filled with random action to be had. The mood today in here? Pumped up and happy, pretty rare for me not to be. That and I didn't type up the entire blog this week and lose it as I did last time around. Away we go..

Let's hear it for Mario's Fishbowl! Yep, our softball team had a doubleheader on Friday night in Morgantown. I wish we'd have more doubleheaders, but we don't have too many. The first game, we got beat down. That team had some crazy good infielders. Their third baseman was unbelievable and they had this chick at shortstop that could flat ball. On our level of play that our league is on, for the majority, the chicks can't do too much. Hey, I'm honest. Call me sexist or whatever, but I'm just stating the truth on the talent I see when we play. This chick though, she was all over it in the field, I was impressed, so props are given. You ball, you get props. If not, you don't. Easy as that. Second game? We had a rematch with the kiddies from Brock's Oil. They had this dick who was pitching and he thought he was so big and bad. We had him to the point he was throwing the ball into the ground, crying to the ump, and all sorts of funny stuff. So we kept egging him on, getting him riled up and it worked. The rest of their team was cool cats, but not him. We got our first win of the year though. We may be the worst team out there, but hopefully we can start something up after this win. We might lose a bunch, but we look good doing it. Decked out in high quality gear, we do it big, no joke.

My game? I LOVE playing the field. I rock it out in left-center and have a lot of ground to cover. I got a lot of action (covering the field and getting action, starting to sound like I'm big pimpin' instead of in the outfield, but you know how I roll) in this week's game and made some fine catches if I must say so myself. Batting is a completely different story. I'm a good contact hitter, but I can't seem to stop from popping up into the infield or grounding out to the wrong spots. If I can get on, my speed can get me a long way, but I gotta get there first. And I have zero power. It'll come along though, defense wins championships. Our infield D is very solid, our outfield is pretty much bad bad times as a whole, but I handle my side, Gold Glove style. The other side... eh.

Now that Real World: Denver has ended, it's time to get right into something else. Usually we have a long break between seasons, but they're pulling extra into the bag for us this time. For the Real World: Las Vegas fans from 5 years ago, you better start watching the Reunited season of that cast. That cast was probably the sluttiest of all, but it did bring good drama. The first episode last Wednesday night had the triangle of Alton, Irulan, and Arissa. Chicks getting in each other's faces with the guy in the middle, good stuff. And I find it funny that these people are pushing 30 years old and they're crying about stuff that happened 5 years ago and letting it affect them. Either way, it makes for awesome TV for us. Some of them have kids and a family now, some are back in Vegas to party like rockstars, and Trishelle is still one filthy dirty, but she's probably the most famous of this bunch.

I'm going to take a short break and let my boy Sidelli handle things for the next few paragraphs. One of my funniest buddies, he always has stories to tell. He lives in Myrtle Beach, but is from our neck of the woods for those who don't know him. The first paragraph deals with NBA baller Kevin Martin and Sidell made sure to mention our fantasy basketball league to him, that's classic. Then the second paragraph, the WVU fans will get a kick out of. It's for their boy Coach Rod getting his swerve on with chicks. Here we go:

This week was the annual "Black Bike Week" down here. It traditionally follows the Harley week which was last week. For the last two nights I waited on Kevin Martin at my bar. He and like 4 dudes hung out at my bar in Malibu's drinking Grey Goose. I had a chance to talk to him at the end of the night tonight (Saturday). He's a real laid back soft spoken kid, I told him about our fantasy league and that's how I had recognized him. I didn't even tell the guys that I was working with the past couple of nights who he was until after tonight was over because people often tend to act like idiots when they get around celebrities.

But that's not all. Thursday night WVU's own Rich Rodriguez was in Revalution's a night club next door to mine. My boy Jeff Byrd (who Clark has met) works at Rev's and comes over to my bar and says, "Hey, I think your boy is in my club." Byrd's a Pitt fan so he wasn't sure if it was him or not. So my manager Jeremey, who is a WVU grad and I walk in to Rev's and see Double R double fisting what appeared to be vodka cranberrys, wearing stone washed jeans circa 1988 with all white nike running shoes and a navy blue polo shirt tucked in tight, surrounded by 3 hot chicks, none of which were Rita Rodriguez, dancing like the whitest white dude ever. It was rather amusing.

Just wanted to fill you guys in on the big to-do's down here in Myrtle Beach.

Most reading assume I'm online for 95% of my time or playing video games and don't do much else. While that isn't totally false, I can bust out the intellect side of things every now and then to surprise some. I'm a huge book person and have a big collection of sports/wrestling books. The latest is one that the baseball enthusiasts need to pick up. For the ESPN fans, you'll know Tim Kurkjian for sure. His new book, Is This a Great Game or What?: From A-Rod's Heart to Zim's Head - My 25 Years in Baseball. I'm about a third of the way finished with it as I type this and it's tough to put down. The amount of baseball that Kurkjian knows is ridiculous and he has some awesome stories. Go pick this bad boy up. The next book on my list to pick up is from NBA benchie Paul Shirley. It's titled Can I Keep My Jersey?: 11 Teams, 5 Countries, and 4 Years in My Life as a Basketball Vagabond. Shirley is great. For those who don't read his blogs or hear any of his stories, you're missing out. I'm an NBA nut anyways, that's what I live for, but you get a funny perspective from things he's seen over the years. That's the latest book report.

Speaking of baseball, it's time for a trip to Pittsburgh. On Monday the 3rd, it's my boy Posey's 29th birthday and we're celebrating by going to scenic PNC Park. We tried to get a big crew to go, but half of our guys ended up backing out (doh!), but we're still going anyways. As I'm typing this, it's Posey driving his pimp van, Cork, and myself. We have a few guys that are still a "maybe", so we'll see. I think we're rolling out around 3:00 for a 7:05 game against the Dodgers. Nobody will be there, it's a shame for such a nice stadium. In the next blog, I'm sure to have a report of what went down.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: If any of my buddies send me something, I give credit around here. That's how it goes. This one comes courtesy of us from my girl Jas way out in Arizona and she's given us a few in this category before. The girl she linked to is kinda weird with fetishes, but she's busting out and doesn't look too bad I admit, so we're going with her, good choice:

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: For some reason, I can't ever get enough of seeing some good thug dance vids, so we're back with another edition of some C-Walk steps. Murkee in this one tears things up.

Bird's Song of the Week: 16 Bars Freestyle by Young Buck.

3 Quick Thangs:

1. Who do we have for birthdays on Monday, June 4th? Quite a few local legends in this one, so be ready! Former NBA baller Xavier McDaniel, he's now 44. Actor Noah Wyle, 36. Actress Angelina Jolie, Happy 32nd. As noted above, my boy Posey is rockin' it out for his 29th, good stuff! Blog reader and #basketball legend, Corndog, Happy 27th man! Earvin Johnson III, one of Magic's kids, is 15 for whatever that's worth.

Sports fans, join our message board. The original Lobstah II got overloaded with bandwidth. We're trying to figure out what's up with that. Until then, you know you want to rock it out on our boards at Lobstah III. Just register a name and you're set. Thanks to the great ManDingo for setting this up for us.

2. It's time to recommend another game, yet again from This one is called Blocky, so I hope you enjoy it:

3. 35% of people who use personal ads for dating are already married. Cheaters are about as dirty as it gets in my mind, but I'm not the one who makes the facts up, it's the real deal. I'm just here to let everyone know what's up.