Chicks With Clown Makeup

Once again, I'm bringing the good mood to pump everyone up with. It seems like last week's blog featuring the trip to the Pirates game was a big hit. I don't usually brag a bunch about my blogs, but even I think that one was rock solid. I got a lot of people writing me or telling me in person that I delivered. Now the pressure is on to follow that up with another quality outing. I'm up for the task because I have a bunch of different things to talk about. As usual, there's something in here for everyone. Don't be afraid to drop off comments at the bottom of this post. I haven't got many on here lately, but most just tell me online when I'm chatting or in person, so that's the deal with that, that works. Prepare for a really long post of kiddie birthdays, Red Lobstah, breaking the law, Africam, Rob & Big, barber stories, a trip to Yann's, and much much more..



As the week goes along, I'm always writing little notes on paper or coming on my blog's page to save a rough draft. I do that because I don't want to forget something that happened a week or so again and lose the fact that I lost something great to write about. I'm weird like that. You know how it goes, but it makes for a better read for the people out there in cyberspace.

First on the list, we go to Posey's birthday party for his little girl Kierstn. We had a big turnout and we did it cookout style. Kierstn is huge into both Dora and The Wiggles. Every present she opened up seemed to deal with that and my boy Spank was starting to freak out. Why's that? He couldn't make up his mind what was worse between those two. First, he said Dora was all freaky looking and said we really don't even know what she is. He didn't know if it was an alien or what, that's good stuff. Then all of The Wiggles gear has these gay guys (who knows if they really are, but they will be for this blog's purpose) all smiling and riding around happy with each other in little cars or playing instruments. In one picture, they were riding around and you could only see one hand on each dude except for the blue guy. Posey said that one is legit straight, so we'll give him some slack for going after chicks. The other dudes, who knows what they were doing. Yep, we notice these things around here. Whatever happened to He-Man and GI Joe figures we had when growing up? Yeah, that shows my age, but those guys had guns and swords, we turned out ok for the most part. Now kids play with gay people and freaks. :) That's my opinion, like it or not, I keep your interest.



Second on the list, let's go to last Saturday's trip to Red Lobstahhh. We had a total of 8 on the trip such as Mudcat, Fortney, Abbey, Kari, Matty Cakes, Ozzie, Maria, and myself. For those keeping track at home, I rode with Fortney, Abbey, and Mudcat for this mini road trip. How can you go wrong in the car talking about old school rap and R&B, ping pong (soon to be played again very soon), listening to some old pimp music, the upcoming 1997 Reunion, and whatever else goes down. Me and Mudcat were talking about people that we didn't get a hold of yet that we graduated with. One was Colby McCoy. Fortney busts out this classic, "Colby Fuckin' McCoy! Wow.. That's what he's known as. Colby Fuckin' McCoy." The locals will laugh at as he's one of those dudes I haven't seen since high school probably.

Here's a side topic from Red Lobstah. I've talked about tipping before when I go out to eat and I'm usually a generous tipper. I feel that nobody tips those bums (everyone is a bum till I actually know them) fairly, so I hook them up for the hard job. Anyways, what gets me is when a place adds in gratuity on your bill. I understand the reasoning, at least they'd know they would be getting some kind of tip. With me, that's a pimp slap to the face. I know you can't judge people you don't know, but come on people. Let me give you my own tip. If you put gratuity in there, I'm not giving you anymore just because I've been insulted. You're losing money from me. I'm no high roller at all, just a regular bum, but I always feel it's my duty to tip more than I should. Food wise? It rocked big though, I'm always happy with that. One thing though, we left biscuits on the table! What?! You can't do that at Red Lobstah. Usually we're all fighting over them like it's gold on a plate and we gotta tell the waiters to bring more and it takes them ages to do so. This time? We had leftovers, doh! Next time, we can't let that happen. Back me up on this people.



On the way home, we got busted by the cops! Thrown against the back of the car and cuffed up. Nah, not all Pacman Jones style, but I do have a little story. We were rolling through Enterprise (Fortney's version of E-Town, yet we had to steal that for my territory in East Shinnston and we call us E-Town too, confused?) and came past the Enterprise Express that has underrated hot dogs. More on hot dogs in a bit. Fortney sees a cop car and knows he was going to fast and pulls over around the corner. He knew he was busted and the cop didn't even have to turn on his lights, amazing. Of course you're going to freak out and think you got a ticket. Turns it it was former Lincoln High grad Robbie Waybright on the scene. Sheriff maybe? After some small talk, he let us off the hook and that's the story of us breaking the law. I know that's not gangsta, but sometimes even some of E-Town's finest (on both sides in the car) have to lay low and relax.

Africam. What's that you ask? It's the new late night sensation of my online crew and it's catching on like fire. Basically what it is, is a 24/7 live stream of animals in Africa. It doesn't sound like much, but hear me out. They are 6 hours ahead of me (Eastern time) and real late at night over here it gets to rockin'. It's not as fun by yourself, you gotta have a crew. The same people that laughed before, they're hooked now, so you'll do the same. Anyways, you get to see giraffes, my boys the zebras, impalas, monkeys, wildebeest, black backed jackals, and a ton of other things. As you're watching and talking online, you give commentary to spice things up to make it stupid. Waiting for rumbles or something wild to happen, you end up watching this stuff for a long time. Granted, I'm online all the time anyways, and it may seem weird, but if you're interested in checking it out, go to Africam at www.africam.com and click on Nkorho Stream at the top left and you're in business after you watch a commercial ad. During the day in Africa, the cameraman (who we dub as Chip because it sounds like he's eating chips all day long and crunching them, credit to Corndog) is rotating around the land. At night, it's not worth checking out as it's a view of the infamous pond, but once daylight hits (a bit after midnight here), the action doesn't stop. How can you go wrong with people that have no clue about animals that ramble on with some funny comments? I'm not sure you can. Thanks to my boy Blahah for letting us know about this as Corndog, DerekHood, Bono, Duce, Cork and others are part of the ride. My girl Jas is cussing me for getting her addicted to it, it's worth checking out. Feed your addiction.



I have to start wrapping this thing up. Yesterday was a trip to infamous Yann's Hot Dogs in Fairmont with Posey. It's one of the legendary spots. Looking at it from the outside, it's a dump. It's also real small inside and I've wrote about it before, but it's been a while. The excitement is just being there. First off, you can't order ketchup on your dogs or the old guy will flip out and start going nuts. You order your dogs how he wants it. The only choice you get basically if you want onions or not. This review pretty much sums the place up exactly, so check this out: http://wvhotdogs.com/yanns.html. We got there early enough to where they didn't run out of dogs and the place was booming. I'm not a big eater, but they were so hot yesterday that I couldn't eat three of them. Tore me up.

Rob & Big has been solid lately. This past week, we had Rob threatening his cousin, the house assistant, that he'd be fired for being lazy. They also met a mini horse trainer and took their horse to get his behavior fixed since he's been rowdy. A third thing? They got a topless maid for whatever that's worth. There's only been one episode this season so far that hasn't lived up to potential and that was the time machine.

A trip to my barber a few days ago. As usual, you pay for the experience and not the haircut. He was getting all worked up how much other places charge for haircuts and how he rocks it out like no other. Then he got to talking about chicks. He was telling a guy waiting after me that I was one of the smartest dudes he knew because I don't get caught up in chick drama much and that they know where to find me if need be, "Send em to Stewart Street to get some of that canned ham!" You can make your own thoughts on that quote, it's a good one. How can you go wrong with that? And that's not including f-bombs every 2.3 seconds.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: Apparently, some of the links I put up for the chicks, you need to login to MySpace to see all of their pics? I'm not sure, but pretty much everyone and their brother has a page, so get in there. And this one here isn't so thug, but she'll fill the dirty and hot part, so here's our dirty dirty: http://www.myspace.com/christinemendoza

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: I have an excellent one here. My boy Corndog found this one and it's classic Tracy Morgan on live TV. "Someone gonna get pregnant while I'm in town!" Then he's dancing around with his shirt off. A+ clip here. http://youtube.com/watch?v=DOhKrL5DB1Y

Bird's Song of the Week: Shawty by Plies featuring T-Pain. http://music.aol.com/artist/plies/880573/main



3 Quick Thangs:

1. Ok, time for a makeup rant. I've done this before, but it doesn't seem to work. If you're a chick that cakes makeup on like crazy, what's the deal? I honestly don't understand. I'm a nice guy, but I'm to the point walking around seeing some of these random dirties with a tub full of makeup that I just want to tell them they look pathetic. I don't want to see my girls looking like clowns, forget that mess. Less is better, or even none. That's my fashion advice for the day. I'm not a subscriber to GQ for nothing, hah.

2. It's time to send the wishes out there since it's Father's Day time. "Who dat is? Dat jus yo baby daddy!" Anyways, props out there to the Dads and Dads to be. Bought any cards lately for birthdays or whatever? It's like gas prices. They're ridiculous now if you haven't checked. I just got one for $5.29, highway robbery. Do I get a free massage or some dirty thug ho with that? You're killin' me Smalls.

3. Happy happy time.. Sunday, June 17th. Politician Newt Gingrich, 64. The he/she known as Barry Manilow, 61. Comedian Joe Piscopo, fans of the 80s will know him as a C-level dude, he's celebrating his 56th. Actor Greg Kinnear, better known for his days of Talk Soup, he's now 44. Tennis girl Venus Williams, 27. That's all I can do for ya on that. I hope you enjoyed this long edition.