"Get A New Face!"

I'm going to attempt to hit all cylinders on this post. As usual, there's a little bit for everyone. In this extravaganza, you get the normal solid ending with randomness, a softball update from Mario's Fishbowl, ping pong, Cracker Barrel, MILFs, sweaty chicks, new CDs, Rob & Big, Making The Band 4, and much much more! I already know right away with a few of those topics, I have your interest and you're only tempted to read on. That's how I try to do it around here. Our first pic from The_Freak:



I got a lot of feedback on last week's post, so thanks to everyone who sent in a comment on here or either hit me up while I was online at all hours of the day. My favorite comment was from Cousin Ozzie. It was in reference to me bashing chicks who cake on makeup and end up looking like clowns: "As for the makeup, I am totally with you on that one. Some girls need a little bit of makeup, but if you think you need to cake it on, then you just need to get a new face." Get a new face! That's just a classic quote right there folks, so credit has to be given in this very space.

I put thought into each blog of how I'm going to lay out my topics. I don't want to bore people early on and have them hanging on to nothing towards the end. I go for the attention grab and then suck you right in the rest of the way. Maybe I've talked about this next thing before, I'm not sure, but we'll revisit it if not. My boy Cork took the different opinion on me with this one, but maybe I'm weird. First off, seeing a dude sweat, your first impression is probably that they're dirty, filthy, and smelly. That's true for me, but then again I'm a dude, chicks may feel opposite on seeing that possibly? Now let's flip that to the other side. Our scenario is having a chick that is dripping with sweat. Nasty? It probably could be to some, but unless she's some huge girl that can't get through a door (that would be nasty), I don't mind a girl that gets down with it and sweaty. After explaining my theory on this to Cork, he thought that I took it that girls don't sweat or their sweat doesn't stink. That's not where I'm coming from. I'm an easy guy to please. If you're a sporty type chick with sweat rolling off of ya, that can't be a bad thing. To each his own, but that's my weird opinion, I'm probably in the minority.



Big weekend for the softball team. We had 3 games this past weekend (1 on Friday, 2 on Sunday). Friday we got crushed, so we knew we had to bring it on Sunday. Mario's Fishbowl was about to take a turn for the worse, but we had to put the breaks to that. On the first game of Sunday, we rocked it out and got a much needed win. We put the beat down to this team and defensively we did great. I've been the lead off man lately due to the speed. I need to come around on the batting, but right now I'm at .250, not where I want to be, but it'll improve. My game is definitely all about defense though, I love rocking out left field, I think I do a fine job indeed out there. We're not that great, but we still have a fun time with it. It gets me out of my town for a while on the weekends and I get to look at hot chicks in short shorts or tight pants when I play. How can I lose in that situation? You're right, I can't, even if we get blown out during our game, there's always the scenery to check out.

Since I have absolutely way too much time on my hands this summer, Friday was another Cracker Barrel trip. What's so ironic about that? Nothing except that I was bored enough to wake up at 8:00 AM when I'm normally just going to bed at that time. This trip was attended by none other than my boys Posey and Spank. A few stories from that adventure. Spank sees a side of tomatoes on the menu. We all thought it was weird to even have that on a menu and why it'd be on a breakfast menu, who knows. Anyways, he was bored and ordered a side of tomatoes. They bring him a plate with 2 slices of tomatoes on it. When he got his bill, he sees that they charged him $1.50 for those 2 slices. He about flipped and I can't blame him. Who charges $1.50 for that mess? As noted before, the Cracker Barrel chicks near us, a few of them are high quality. And then we saw a lot of hottie MILFs. Something about that gets to me in a good way. No, I don't want a chick with kids, sorry, but they're kinda hot in a naughty way for the ones that look good. You know what I mean. Only in here do you get that kind of thought and wisdom put into MILFs of all things.



We started up the ping pong circuit once again. I cleaned out my garage and we did battle on Thursday. It was the Cracker Barrel Gang of Posey, Spank, and myself. My game wasn't on at all. I wasn't nearly as aggressive as I normally am. I key that as one big thing I messed up on. I'm never the type of pong player to be on defense, that's no fun to me. If I can't go down trying to punish the ball in someone's face, you might as well put a fork in me. Spank was unbeatable that day. He got a new fancy paddle that has crazy spin and there wasn't a lot that me and Posey could do about it. A spin player is my weakness. If I play someone that tries to bring straight power against my style of game (which is also power), I always feel I have a huge advantage. I'll take my chances in those cases. Hopefully we can start playing regularly again, one of my favorite all time sports.

How's TV land treating me? I'll focus on two shows this week. First, it's our trip to Rob & Big's world. Last week's episode was really good I thought, add another one to the already great season. During this episode, Big Black wanted to go back to his stripper roots. They had him practice with a dance coach and get an outfit for the presentation. He had this pink jacket and called himself Black Lavender. It was just funny to me seeing Rob and his boys in this chick strip club and them dying laughing as the chicks were going crazy over some 400lb dude taking his clothes off. Also, another MTV show that is back in action, Making The Band 4. This time Puff is after a R&B group of dudes. These shows are always high drama, so you can't beat watching it, or that's how I feel anyways. My favorites after one episode, and I'm sure it'll change would be DeAngelo and Julius, for whatever that's worth to the fans at home.



Here's a random porn-level thing I realized, or didn't realize. To the little kiddies, skip to the next paragraph, hah. Coming home from Friday night's softball game, I wasn't quite ready to go home yet. I stopped at Wal-Mart to load up on food and then went to Arby's in Fairmont. Arby's by the way, as I've mentioned in here, is only the best fast food place ever. And I'm giving Arby's a free plug and the excitement to get mentioned in the blog. Anyways, I had my iPod with me and I needed to get caught up on my sports radio podcats for Friday. Instead of driving and getting BBQ sauce all over me at the same time, I decide to pull off at the rest area and eat in peace. Nothing major yet, I know, just keep following along. In the process of all of that, I had to wizz, so naturally you go to the bathroom. Maybe I see too much unrealistic porn stuff (as do we all, most won't admit though), but when you wizz in a rest stop bathroom you immediately think of the infamous glory hole (if you're in some coma and don't know what that is, just look it up) that someone asked me to talk about. I guess we're not in the mean streets of California to truly appreciate those in abundance as they're supposedly all over the place out there, who knows. Well, I've never seen one here, but who says that couldn't be a dude back behind that? I'd say chances are higher than most think. That'd be rough times, not cool indeed. Hey, I don't bring you the boring stuff. If it's on my mind, I'll talk about it. You might think some things are weird, gross, or whatever, but it does keep your interest.

How about a new batch of CDs to my collection? That's what I'll bring you..



Dirty: The Art Of Storytelling. I have the other albums from these guys and they're really good. They bring about a grimey and southern style from Alabama. These guys are talented, check them out if you haven't yet. This CD gets a double thumbs up from me.

Fabolous: From Nothin' To Somethin'. I'm a big Fabo guy and always have been. While this CD is pretty good, it's not like his old stuff if you ask me. One, he doesn't rhyme as fast as he used to it seems. Another is that he doesn't do enough verses. He's great on his own, he doesn't need that many cameos on the album. Howevahhh, even though I said a few negative things, this album is rock solid. It's Fabo, you'll be in good shape getting this one.

Huey: Notebook Paper. Yep, the Pop, Lock & Drop It guy. You know you've practiced that dance in the mirror if you're a chick. Anyways, this album features such cats as Lloyd, T-Pain, and Bow Wow. I haven't listened to this one yet to get a vibe.

Lil Wyte: The One And Only. Obviously, a whitey rapper. For those who don't know Lil Wyte, he's boys with Three 6 Mafia and is part of Hypnotize Minds. If you're into the Memphis rap scene, you'll be into Lil Wyte and his style. Some funny names of songs on this one: We Ain't Kool, I Got Dat Candy, Feelin' Real Pimpish, Gettin' Money Boy, Dat Boy, and Gun Do Da Talkin'.

Paul McCartney: Memory Almost Full. Whoa, two back-to-back whitey CDs I got, imagine that. And one is a non-rap album. Why is this on the list? I made a copy for Mom and she was big on it. I figured, what the heck, I might as well burn one of a legend and see what he's up to these days at the ripe young age of 65. 65 years old and chicks are still all over his nads. Dance Tonight is the song that is out now. Not too bad for that type of music. Something way different than what I normally listen to, I know. Paul and Axl Rose need to do a whistling song together, I demand it.

T-Pain: Epiphany. I liked T-Pain's first CD, but haven't listened to his sophomore edition yet to give a detailed review. Some good pimpin' R&B here, so it can't be too bad one wouldn't think. Yung Joc, Akon (he's becoming the new Bun B as he's on everyone's CD), Shawnna, and Kardinal Offishall to name a few are a part of this action.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: http://www.myspace.com/naynay_so_seductiive

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Kasher bringing the goodies in this two-part bit of excellence. It's a skit making fun of magician David Blaine. Brilliant stuff here, take my word on it and just watch. The guy playing Blaine is great and the stuff his buddies say will crack you up good. "What the eff??" Part 1: http://youtube.com/watch?v=AYxu_MQSTTY and Part 2: http://youtube.com/watch?v=PGrTvNzGCZE

Bird's Song of the Week: Get U Down by Warren G. I don't always have to put brand new stuff in here. There's never a bad time for a Warren G jam. Also, Cube and Snoop as part of this. http://music.aol.com/video/get-u-down/warren-g/1427330

3 Quick Thangs:

1. I must be missing out on the Propel water craze. I gave it another try the other day, horrible. It gets two big thumbs down from me. You guys can have it all, not for me. Another one everyone and their brother is going wild for is Fiji water. I haven't tried it, but are they just buying it since it's in that cool container?

2. Happy time! Let's try birthdays for Tuesday, June 26th: Mr. Miyagi would've been 74 today. Biker Greg LeMond goes for 47. Current NFL analyst and former player, Sterling "Horseface" Sharpe, Happy 39th. Redneck singer Gretchen Wilson, hot in a dirty way, she's 34. Derek Jeter, a god in New York, he turns 33 on Tuesday. How time flies. There you have it, blow out the candles.

3. Oh goodness! Just days away from THE greatest day of the entire year for me. Yep, you guessed it, the NBA Draft! Thursday night, be there! I can barely contain myself on this, no lie.