Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Werther's Originals Are Laxatives

This week's wise words of wisdom during a random chat? It comes to us from one of the blog readers' favorites, Corndog from Logan County. He's also just recently started to rock the Larry Bird porn mustache. The ladies have to dig that one. Corndog also provides us with this week's topic. Anyways, Corndog out of nowhere gives us these words to live by:

Corndog: i got a new blog title for you worthers originals are laxatives
Corndog: the story...
Corndog: i bought a pack of worthers original mini's and on the side it said something about if you eat too many it could be like a laxative (no joke) i laughed it off.
Corndog: ate the hole box
Corndog: had the poops all night
Corndog: and not just the poops.
Corndog: the poops that 3 ammoiums wouldnt stop

So how did Christmas treat everyone and their brother? It was fine and dandy here, I always get extra pumped up around this time of year. I'm in a good mood almost always to begin with, but you know what I mean. Now it's time for some quick stories from the Christmas Eve bonanza here at my house. The house was packed for the festivities as we have a big crew. Who was in attendance? Mom, Dad, Spank, Cork, Kristen, Kari, Matty Cakes, Ozzie, Maria, Zack, Jill, Gayle, Ashton, Big Max, Ashley, Uncle Butch, Aunt Susie, Mary, Uncle Bill, Angie, Will The Thrill, Aunt Linda, Uncle Jeff, Jimmy, Rick and Rick, Steph, neighbor Linda, and myself. Whew, now I can breathe. In that mix, I'm sure I left out someone, but I hope not.

The food is always top notch when we do our Christmas Eve bash. How can you go wrong with homade Italian food mixed in with a bunch of junk food? You can't, that's the answer. Also during this night, the TV entertainment was the Notre Dame/Hawaii game. It was a split crowd as we had people rooting on the Irish and then we had one in particular who wished their plane would go down after the game and they all died, I kid you not. That's the type of atmosphere it was during the game, can't beat that. You either love the Irish or hate them around here, no in between. It wasn't the Hawaii of recent years who played like a video game, this one was fairly brutal. My boys won their first bowl game since the mid-90s, ugh. At least it's a win. Maybe the Jimmy Clausen jersey I wore that night brought the luck about. Charlie Weis, get in shape big fella. Also, we got to re-create a classic pic from back in the day with the six cousins, that turned out pretty good. Maybe I'll post a pic of the new version whenever I get that. In the pic people were wondering if I'd be able to do my headstand still. Ozzie laughed and said that I've probably done that in the past month alone, so he had no doubt. The sad part is, I have, I'll never grow up, but what fun would that be anyways?

You're wondering who gets "The Award" this year, right? If you've kept up with the blogs of the past few years, either on the trips to the Dirty Dirty of Atlanta or Christmas Eve, we usually crown someone with The Award. It was Gayle I believe that came up with the name and he's usually my partner in crime when it comes to vote time. This year? We all decided that there wasn't a winner. A few were pushing it as to who would be the drunkest of all, but nobody totally embarrassed it up. When Dad busted out the WV moonshine for people to try, I figured it wouldn't be long till someone got mangled like no other. He said he wasn't about to dip into that, he'd stay low key with not many drinks and let the others be fools. He just liked instigating it all. I don't drink at all, but the smell of this stuff I could tell was brutal. I've seen people get straight lit off this in no time, it's hardcore. So due to that, we're not handing out The Award, it happens. Someone will get it again, don't you worry.

An interesting topic came up with the Christmas Eve crew. We're average guys, nothing special, but we still are fairly athletic I think. We were discussing girls basketball. I know, before I even start on this topic, I'll admit I'll be sexist, but you'll have to hear me out. When it comes to physical things, I don't think girls can hang. I don't think that's anything too outlandish to say. Some may be able to, I'm not saying that, but I'm talking about in general. I know my area isn't a good focus group, but even when you take the best girls players in our area that have went on to play college, put them against regular bum whiteys and they're just ok to me at best. I don't think I'm too crazy on that. Sure, they're athletic and good, but you put an elbow into them or get physical and it's tough duty for chicks. Now I'm not a physical player with my style, but you know what I mean, others can be. The debate was how high of a level of a girl's team could the average five guys beat? I think running wise and physicality, the guys would be ok. WNBA? That's steep and I've personally never played with a chick of that caliber to know how she hangs, but it'd be interesting. High school level doesn't count, that level is downright brutal if you ask me. Most of the older guys of the crew said we'd have zero chance at a higher level chicks team though and it was a fun argument. Just something to think about. Put that on TV and you're telling me you wouldn't watch? Girls would be going crazy in the crowd for them to beat down the boys and the boys would have to do their best to hang to hold their pride, the intrigue.

Christmas Day came around and that's always one of my favorites. I still feel like a kid that morning coming down the steps and dishing out the presents and getting some in return. I never ask for anything major and this year didn't do that, but still it's fun to have a little list to give people ideas. I won't ramble on about what gifts I sent out to the crew and what I got in return from everyone, there's no way I can make that too exciting for the people reading. I do think I loaded up well and did the same for the family and friends. I can't see me rambling about religion in here, this isn't the place, but just remember the main point of Christmas to begin with, not many appreciate that these days. It was also the day of the Celtics/Lakers rivalry. Five NBA games that day as I mentioned, I was in heaven. Unfortunately, my boys had their 19-game win streak against Kobe and the gang. I like my crew's chances out East, but not sure that anyone can beat the Lakers this year, but it'll be fun to find out in June.

Christmas Night movie! It's been a tradition, so you know I was in again this year. Along for the action this season was Spank, Alicia, Alicia's little cousin, Cork, Kristen, and myself. The movie in question? That'd be Will Smith's Seven Pounds. The previews looked intriguing and Will Smith delivers much more often than not in movies. I have some bad news to break though with this one. I was on a streak over the past few months of some nice movies with no duds. This one? If you're asking me, avoid it at all costs. First off, it was way too long for what it was trying to get to. It starts out soooo slow. In the midway part of the movie, I told our crew, "This movie is creeping me out." It's strange. It does have some bad unintentional comedy in it though, although it's not meant to be. At the end of the movie, as we normally do, Spank and I looked at each other for our normal grade. We both knew it was bad and said 5.6 at the exact same time, so that's what we're going with. This one gets a miserable 5.6 stomach punches out of 10, a waste of your money. The only good thing is that Rosario Dawson looks excellent as usual.

Since that was such a bad movie, I'm going to give another movie review. Yes, we had to get that memory out of our minds. I'm talking about Death Race. When this came out to the theater, I wanted to see it since I thought it looked good for one, and two, it had Jason Statham in it. I'm not sure he makes a bad movie. My buddies thought it looked dumb though and didn't want to go. One critique is that the effects are so over the top, futuristic, and not really believable, but hey, it's a movie right? Other than that, the storyline really kept me interested. In this movie, outside of Statham, you get Tyrese and Joan Allen (from the Bourne movies) as other key people. Tyrese in another car movie? Imagine that. He does well here though. Allen also has her role down pat too, she's the villain. An enjoyable movie with a ton of action. My final verdict? It's going to be 7.4 cars blown up into pieces out of 10.

Saturday night was spent at the Posey Casa. Posey has a great setup there with a living room that is spacious enough to do a line of multiple backflips if you really chose to. The highlight of this trip to Tank Hill? It was UFC 92: The Ultimate 2008. I'm always down for anything MMA related, so we got our money's worth and then some. Who all was in attendance? Posey, Scherri, Spank, Cork, neighbor Brian, Posey's Work Buddy, Kierstn, Caden (messed his spelling up for sure ), Ashley, and myself. Props to the girls for doing it big with a food spread that was high quailty. How can you go wrong with all the food you can eat mixed in with some head busting inside a cage? I won't ramble too much about the show though, but my predictions were off on this one. Is Rampage Jackson back after he literally went crazy in the head a few months ago? He dominated one of my favorite fighters, Wanderlei "The Axe Murderer" Silva, who I figured would mess up Rampage since he did it twice before. Something tells me if you have a nickname of the Axe Murderer, you are not to be provoked, so I'll stay away. Then we had Frank Mir looking awesome against one of the best heavyweights in the world, Antonio Nogueira. Nobody gave Mir a chance, myself included, even Mir himself admitted the same, but he pulled the upset special to get a rematch with Brock Lesnar (who he beat once already). The main event had Sugar Rashad Evans have his way with Forrest Griffin. Evans keeps proving doubters wrong, this guy is very good indeed, now he has a title to show for it. 99% of the night was great, but I was inches away from attempted murder on both of Posey's dogs. These dogs have to be laced with meth or something, they're nuts and never ever shut up. But overall, props to the Posey Clan for serving things up right on the night.

It's sick, it's demented, but you know the curious nature brings us back again. This will be the 5th year running for Commish Kasher's 2009 #Balls Celebrity Deathpool. This can't be good karma for anyone playing, but it has created quite the interest over the years, both with the guys that play and also the people who follow along with the standings. Our 2008 winner? That'd be none other than Cork who had Bobby Murcer as his lone death, which he got double points for making that his lock pick. I came in 4th as I had Charlton Heston. Here's a wild stat. Let's go back to 2006. That's the year that Neon won it all by having 4 people of his 10 go down, that's messed up, but good insight. TyLaw and our Corndog also had 4 that same year. Another stat? Kasher calls this one his "fun fact", but I'm not sure how fun it is: ManDingo is the only person to have predicted a death in every season we have played. In the next blog, I'll give a rundown of our rules and the 10 people I have selected.

You know how we do the movie reviews? We got that in earlier, but now it's time for a book review. I don't do those much because most of the books I read are either sports or wrestling related, and most reading the blog people could probably care less, I understand. Anyways, I will give a review of one I just finished. When the blackjack movie 21 came out to theaters, you'll remember I went and talked about that here in the blog. In April of 2008 if you go back, I ranked this a 7.2. Ozzie had such high praises on it at the time, he gave it a whopping 8.8. Usually I'd read a book before seeing the movie, but this one was backwards. Instead, as a little Christmas gift, I got a copy of 21: Bringing Down The House by Ben Mezrich. I love to read, but I'm not a speed demon when it comes to getting through things. I go at a nice pace, but I know people who say they read entire books in a day or two, dang. This one I finished in three days, it's that good. If you enjoyed that movie, which you should have, then go out and get the book, it's even better. The book is always better than the movie. Even if you aren't a Vegas person, you'd be interested to see how these genius kids from MIT basically beat the system of blackjack and made millions.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: I think we have a really good submission here. It comes to us again from Arizona Jas. This has some great unintentional comedy inside. First, check out how mangled this girl's face is, mainly when he puts 25 pounds of makeup or whatever that junk is she has on. Cement maybe? Her top half looks fairly normal, and then that bottom half Jas calls the child bearing hips of doom. Then to make matters that much better, you have to check out her pimp man's folder who wants to make it rain with his money that probably isn't even real. You'll get a laugh of that dude, trust me. Go check for yourself:

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: This week's submission comes to us all the way from my boy Dominik in Germany. We're going with a guy named John Lajoie who you've probably seen on YouTube before, he's worth checking out if you haven't before. Another 5-star rating for John on this one. I wouldn't blast this song at work to give a warning, but check it out:

3 Quick Thangs:

1. Birthday time! Let's see who opens 2009 for us. Thursday, January 1st. Rapper Grandmaster Flash, 50, whoa. Model Carol Alt, 48. At 48, she recently posed in Playboy for whatever that's worth. Also, according to Wikipedia (it could be wrong, but we still take it for granted on there), had a Top 10 Models of All Time deal to which she placed #5. Another model, former queen of the internet for a while, Cindy Margolis, 43. NFL baller Derrick Thomas would be 41 on this day, but he left us way too early at the age of 33. What a player he was. Actor Morris Chestnut, 39. Bo Bice of American Idol fame, 33.

2. The coin pocket inside a regular pocket. You all know what I'm talking about. What I'm wondering is, what's the point? It's more hassle than not. My problem is with the change part (although I guess you could put anything small in there). Let's say you're at the store and you pay and get your money back. You throw your dollars in your wallet or just in your pocket like a normal person. Then you also do the same with your change, just throw it in down your pocket. Then when you get to the car or home to empty it, it takes forever to get the change that has fallen down into these tiny pockets out. Maybe it's just me, but I end up having to turn my pockets inside out and forget that mess. I should just cut these things out of my pockets to save myself the agony.

3. This is our last post of 2008. What will 2009 bring us? As usual, people will set these lofty goals of having resolutions. Sure, maybe 10% of the people will actually fulfill these, but let's face it, most end up doing the epic fail. Try to set some lesser standards. You're not going to run that marathon, you're probably not even going to set a foot in the gym, but make yourself happy. Please yourself first instead of others and be laid back with it. The goal as I always have, be positive, since you never know what tomorrow holds. This is the 370th blog I've posted since the beginning, we'll try to add to that number in 2009, have a great new year! And as Kevin Garnett would say, "Anything is possible!"

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

069, Bad Breath, & Merry Christmas!

The old ladies were fuming inside. That was the scene at Village Square Bingo last Friday night. I was due for a Bingo trip. The last time I went, as I wrote in these very same pages, I won for a small amount. I basically broke even on the night, but it's still a positive when you can yell Bingo and have people all sorts of worked up. In attendance for Saturday's event was Cork, Kristen, Ozzie, Maria, Spank, and myself. These old people impress me. They have about a zillion sheets at once going and have no problem keeping up. Me on the other hand? I'm stressing out the entire time, although I have a blast playing, I'm tense because it's so quick. I literally walk out of Bingo with a sore back or shoulders. I guess I'm a weakling when it comes to old lady sports.

In the room we were in, we were the only people in there younger than 50. I'm not exaggerating on that one either. Fortunately, it was a non smoking room or most of us probably wouldn't have even attempted to get in with that mess in our faces. Ozzie, as his famous saying goes, he wants to burn cig smokers' eyeballs out. You'll remember that quote from an Atlanta trip a few years back with Cork riding along with us. Although harsh, I could very well see him doing that one. Part of me not being able to be laid back when I play is probably because I don't shut up during the game. Kristen and Maria had to be sick of us, let alone the people in the room who didn't even know us. How fun would it be to play in silence anyways? We get down to the last game and none of the six have won a dime yet. Due to the Christmas season, the workers come around and passed out a free card to end the night, worth over $2000 as a surprise. People were hyped for that, it's a war in there. It's late in the game, tension is mounting.. Cork starts to get the room buzzing as he has the next card on the screen for the win. That's just as a tease and isn't official until called, so he had to wait to see if someone had the number to win before him. What's that I see? O69! Yep, Cork gets to scream it out as the entire room looks at him in disgust. Meanwhile, the rest of our crew is obviously pumped and Kristen almost had a heart attack, good times. This is the first time Cork has won money like that, so he was deserving. I'm not sure if he smacked people in the face afterward with all of those bills, but he did take us all out to eat afterwards, props on that. Win or lose, Bingo is weirdly a great time. Maybe that makes me more like an 80-year old lady, but so be it.

Then we move to Saturday night. It was a family get-together at Ozzie's new house, which is quite the place to see. I'm definitely a fan of his setup there, it's a pimp house with enough room to house a a third world country. You could play tennis in his bedroom and the party shower is one of my favorite features of the house. The food when our family is around, I'll put it up against anyone's and I'm not just saying that. Aside from the food, we got to hang and watch the college bowl games as well as some NFL action to boot. Speaking of which, my Bears are somehow alive going into this final week, crazy.

After that, it was board game time. I'm always down for that. I'm not sure if that shows that I'm boring or not, but if I like something, I'll admit it. Kari brought over Balderdash, one of my favorites of all time. If you haven't played this one with a group of people, you're missing out. I know it seems weekly that I'm saying that you're missing out, but take my word as usual. Basically, it's a game to see who is the best at throwing some BS out for others to believe. Tonight's winner was my Uncle Jeff, he was dominant on this night, reminiscent of the many years he dominated the basketball courts of the area without being stopped. I had to take being happy with my 2nd Place as I tied with Kari. It's one of those games, that even if you do bad, you're still going to have a quality time. Get out there and buy it. I hung around till later in the night when Ozzie busted out a fancy new poker table that Maria got him as an early present. Some of the guys left battled in hold em for a bit, but I called it a night at that point.

It's time for a quick underrated/overrated segment. First, we'll hit up underrated. You know what is underrated? That'd be Swedish Fish. Yep, the little red candies. These are too addictive. It's like Doritos, you can't just eat a few and be done with them. How about overrated? On that list is french fries with cheese. I'm not saying they are bad. I like eating them from time to time. My problem is that they are good for a bit and then it kicks into you and they're not quite as good as they once were. It's similar to the hot dog deal I've talked about. The hot dogs early on rock, but when you get to your 3rd one you're starting to hurt, 4th it grinds on you, and if you go over that, it's time to slow down.

As stated before, I'm a guy that doesn't mind to get out there and do some shopping. Hopefully that doesn't make me too metrosexual, but you know. No, I don't want to be in one store for hours as I stare into space, but when I'm after something or have a hole in my pocket to burn, shopping can be a good outlet. I finished up my Christmas shopping on Tuesday afternoon. It was packed like expected, but I didn't mind. One thing I do mind is when you're at the mall or anywhere big during this time, with how slow people are. I'm the type that walks at a fast pace and can't just stand around, walking like a turtle behind someone. I'm the guy that is walking through the crowd, ducking in and out of the scene, just to get to my destination. You people that go so slow that you end up causing problems and I'm stepping on the back of your shoes, we need an extra lane for you bums. I'm usually a fairly patient person, but not when it comes to slow walkers, get a move on.

Here's another one. Bad breath. We've all been around it in our lifetime, probably quite a bit. I was around this dude the other day that was brutal. He was the type that is spitting into your face and at the same time wants to stand a half inch from your face. They might do that in Europe or other places, but I like my space, especially when you reek worse than a garbage man after a 10-hour shift in 90 degree weather, sweating his nads off. Maybe I'm too much of a neat freak, but I always want to brush my teeth or if I'm not able to somewhere, at least throw in some mints to crank on. It's not that hard people. Most have to agree with me on that I hope.

Last week I got one of the better comments I've had in a while for a blog. That was from my buddy Wes, now residing in the streets of Myrtle Beach, but in Shinnston for Christmas. His comment had me cracking up and he got to ramble on just as I do, you might want to check out his words in the last blog. Normally, I don't get a lot of posted comments on my blogs. Most people either tell me things about them in person or I'll get a ton of instant messages from anywhere and everywhere. Either way is fine by me, it keeps me motivated to write about my daily happenings.

Another "movie" down over the past week. This was more of a documentary than a movie, but I've heard nothing but rave reviews for it. It's called Bigger, Stronger, Faster. It's done by Chris Bell. You may even remember his brother Mike "Mad Dog" Bell, who was a former wrestler and who just recently died. The story is a feature of the three Bell brothers and how steroids played a part of their life goals. Mad Dog was a total mess and it ended up ruining him, whether other factors played a part or not, we don't know yet. If you're into the steroid fascination at all, this is a documentary that is very informative, some things you may think you know, but you don't. Chris Bell does a great job with producing this and talking to a lot of big names, showing the inside workings of steroids and what comes about. It ties that in with sports, wrestling, and Arnold. It's tough to give a grade of this since I don't classify it as a movie, but I will say it's pretty good.

I hear it's time to hear the words of The_Freak to see what he's been into. Of course, uncensored and he holds nothing back. You can agree or disagree with his opinion, but it has you interested at least.

The_Freak (7:07:08 PM): Explain this one to me here.
The_Freak (7:07:39 PM): They all think "I'M A FUCKING PRINCESS" shit
The_Freak (7:08:13 PM): You're not a fucking princess, you're a cheap dirty slut smoking unfiltered Camel cigarettes, getting lower back tattoos and dropping out of community college to be a stripper.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: We're going with another recommendation here. This one comes straight from Kristen in Germany, so she gets full credit. She found this Russian chick that is in Germany, but wasn't sure if she had enough pics. I think it's worthy for sure. She's somewhat of a clean dirty I said, but we all know she's filthy underneath. So here we go:

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: We're going to a Quizno's manager and how he takes on a bum that walks in. The bum swings at the manager and then it's lights out. The replay at the end is great to see too.

3 Quick Thangs:

1. Since we're in the spirit, let's try for some Christmas birthdays. We start off with former NFL quarterback Kenny "The Snake" Stabler, 63. Jimmy Buffett, who I've said before that I have no clue why people love him so much, 62. Former NFL running back and American Gladiators announcer Larry Csonka, also 62. Singer Annie Lennox, 54. Baseball's stolen base king, Ricky Henderson turns the big 5-0 and he still has some game left. Fantasia of American Idol fame, 36.

2. It's nothing compared to the weather that Uncle Wilbur is getting out in the state of Washington, but earlier this week it was downright cold here. I know, you people way up north have it much worse, I'm not arguing that. On a sidenote, Wilbur has a few feet of snow out there and the pictures are impressive. I woke up the other day and it was 5 degrees out with some wacky negative wind chill number. I love winter and the snow, but 5 degrees, what can do you do in that mess? Meanwhile, I have my head shaved when it's this cold, I never learn.

3. You get this delivered to you on Christmas Eve. The next blog will feature the following, just to name a few: the annual Christmas Eve bash at my crib, whether or not we'll have a winner for "The Award", Christmas Day itself, a possible Christmas Night movie, and whatever goes down through the weekend as we get near to putting a close to 2008.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Yesterday Was Once Tomorrow

This week's blog title comes courtesy of The_Freak, who will be featured later on the blog as well, so the props are sent in his direction..

This blog looks to be one of those that shoots at you from random angles and we hit on some different topics. I've been on a movie kick lately, so we'll get several reviews along that line. Also, we'll touch base on some fat boy food. Along with that, you'll read more of my rants on smokers, lazy drivers, and bright red lipstick. Who knows what else we'll throw in here, that's why I hope you can stay tuned in right until the very end. Besides, what else do you have to do? Not much since you're in here, so get all relaxed, crank the Christmas music, and get yourself lost into some random bum's (me) readings. Giddy up!

It's time for yet another movie review. This is becoming fairly steady, so hopefully I can get back into the movie watching deal. Here's one that I wanted to see in the theater, like last week's Transporter 3, but I figured I'd just watch it at home instead. That one would be Sex Drive. If you're into crude comedies with not a lot of plot and that will have you laughing the entire time, you're in for a treat. These are my kind of movies. I know they're not for everyone, but if you are a fan of Superbad, American Pie, Euro Trip, and those types of sexual comedies, go check this one out. The older brother of the main character will grow on you. You hate him for most of the movie and then he changes and there's a twist thrown in there that you might not have guessed from the beginning with him. After a while, an actual storyline does play out and it's a smooth movie to get into and be able to keep up with. Hilarious stuff here, so based on that I'm going to give it 7.6 barrels of laughs out of 10. We're on a roll with some movies that have delivered as of late. Give me some recommendations if you want and I'll see if I can get around to watching.

Why stop with that? I watched another this week as well. I've been wanting to see it for a while, but just now got around to it. That'd be Never Back Down. It's an MMA movie that you've all probably seen the previews for when it came out. When I first saw the previews, I wasn't sure if it'd be cheesy and make an embarrassment of what MMA really is or if it could deliver. After hearing a few people tell me it wasn't bad, I figured why not give it a shot and see for my very own eyes. It is a very predictable movie, but don't let that stop you from watching it. I compare it to Bloodsport from Van Damme or even Karate Kid, that type of storyline with the fight tournaments. I was interested the whole time and thought it was well done for what it was. I think dudes and chicks both will get into this, even if you don't know much on the whole MMA scene. I'm not sure how much credibility can be given to the male actors (Sean Faris and Cam Gidandet), but they surprised me and played their roles well, even if they are so-called pretty boys by some and won't fit the stereotypical MMA look. Cam has the "bad guy" vibe down. On the chick side, Amber Heard looks pretty nice in this movie. To end things, we'll give it a rank of 7.1 armbars out of 10.

I was talking to TyLaw the other night, one of my Canadian buddies of our Lobstah crew and a frequent member of #basketball back in the day. He sends me a link to this story that is probably made up, but regardless, it had me at least checking it out for a few. It's just a juvenile story that if you can laugh at the movies such as Sex Drive, you might appreciate it. As I always say, I still laugh at the cliche jokes we had during our middle school days and all of that. I guess it was growing up being too big of a Beavis and Butthead freak and that mentality sticks with me. I have to bite my tongue a lot at work when the little kiddies joke around and in my head I think it's hilarious, but you know, I gotta play that one off. We all have a bit of a kid in us, always. This story, whether true or not since it seems far fetched, but we'll throw it in regardless:

I'm a junk food freak as most know. One of these days I'll end up to be 400 pounds, but luckily that hasn't kicked in as of yet. I guess that's why I try to keep the workouts and cardio going on a regular basis. The other night I was craving some ice cream. The funny thing is that it was about 25 degrees out, but my mind was set on Dairy Queen. I went to pick up one of my favorite Blizzard flavors. I loaded up on a large Chocolate Dipped Strawberry Blizzard. If you haven't tried this beast yet, you're missing out. If you don't want to take my recommendation on that, I guess that's all on you, but don't say I didn't warn you. However, if you're a health guru, this one isn't for you. The large I had was composed of 1080 calories, 46 grams of fat, 149 grams of carbs (125 of those from sugars), and 20 grams of protein. The sad part is that I got a large and it wasn't enough. I've said before, I'm usually not a big eater, but when it comes to stuff like this, I can tear it up like no other. I mentioned that about Posey's Lay's in a recent blog. Hopefully the high metabolism stays in effect as I creep up in age, but I'm sure it'll end quick enough.

I was watching the local news the other night and thought I was hearing things. The story says that there's apparently this program in plan that is offering free diapers to mothers to be. The catch? This group will give free diapers away to soon-to-be mothers who stop smoking while pregnant. Everyone reading knows how much I go off on smokers in general. I'm usually laid back and don't try to offend people, but smokers I don't hold much back on. If you want to smoke, go for it I guess, that's up to you, but if you're pregnant and doing it? That just shows what kind of sad shape my state is in. That's straight up garbage right there and you lose all respect with me. Go ahead and ruin yourself if you're that much of an idiot, but not when you have a baby on the way. Remember the newspaper numbers I spit out not long ago and the ones dealing with Huntington? Same kind of deal here. What next? Are we going to give money to crackheads and pillheads who suddenly stop? Hey, way to go druggies, thumbs up for getting off the meth only to get back into that mess a few months later. I do hope druggies can beat their problems, but you know where I'm coming from here in most cases. Maybe not to that point, but back to the pregnant chicks who smoke. In all honesty, what are you thinking?? No wonder so many kids don't make it in today's world, they're done from the start and it's not even their fault.

Ok, I don't get it. I've been doing this blog for over 4½ years now. I might have even rambled about this topic before, who knows. If so, I'll ramble on it again. You know what bugs me till I can barely take it anymore? Lazy people at stores, such as Wal-Mart. What do I mean? Ok, I'll set it up for you. Let's say you're driving along and want to do some shopping. The place is packed and the lot is practically full. The "lazy" person is going to drive down 8 aisles as slow as possible to find a great spot. Seriously, this gets me boiling, and I'm usually a calm dude almost all of the time. When I go, I don't care how far away I park, I just want a spot. I'm not about to drive down on that bottom row where the pedestrians supposedly have the right away. Please help me if I ever get that lazy to where I have to drive around like these idiots do for 10 minutes until they find that golden spot. Get out of here you bums, no wonder our state is always getting cracked on with those overweight numbers and things I write about. I'm sure this happens everywhere too. There's always a time for lazy, but just get in any spot and walk to the store. It's not like you're 5 miles away from the entrance. Plus, you can get out easier if you're farther away and don't have to put up with these people driving around clueless like they're in a coma or they think they'll get $100 if they find the closest spot.

Since I'm on the movie kick, I might as well go with another topic along that line. Are you one of those who gets into going to a Christmas night movie? I never used to growing up, but Cork got me on this tradition over the past years and now it's something I usually go for. This year it seems like mostly a bunch of junk out there, but I'm sure I'll still hit something up. If I had to pick something right now, I guess it'd have to be Bedtime Stories with Adam Sandler. It looks like the Sandler of old of him doing the pointless comedy spiel rather than him trying to be all serious, which I never bought. The Spirit looks so weird, but I'm sure people will be creaming to see it for some reason. It has Samuel L. Jackson, Scarlett Johansson with the chances she could fall out of her top at any time which is always good times (hey, I'm just being honest), and Eva Mendes to name a few. The previews just look strange, I dunno. Maybe I'm judging that one wrong. Tom Cruise is usually a good actor, but I'm not sure what to make of Valkyrie either. I think it'll be a good movie though due to him coming through more times than not (even if he's in my personal pick for worst movie ever in Vanilla Sky) and not having many duds. Marley and Me has Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson, but I haven't even seen a preview of this. I figure it's some sort of chick flick, which I doubt me and my boys will be seeing that night, even if I'm an admitted chick flick fan, you just don't do that with your boys. Speaking of Aniston, we have Brad Pitt out that day too in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, another I haven't seen previews for. I see it's a near 3-hour movie though, ugh. There's your quick rundown of Christmas movies, get out there that night, nothing better to do. Also, 5 NBA games are on that day, you serious? I won't be hitting up the movies until later since 5:00 features the Celtics taking on the Lakers, how much better can Christmas Day get for me? I'm getting cold chills just thinking of that one. It's 1985 all over again.

Speaking of Christmas, on Wednesday evening I did a good bit of my shopping. It's not done by any means, but I do it in stretches so I won't have to go too wild at once. It was a madhouse out there, but I didn't mind. It seemed that every 2 steps you'd make, you'd run into someone you know and end up talking for a while. I kind of enjoy that unless I'm in a big hurry, I'll ramble on and talk to whoever and can make a conversation on the spot in most times. My buddies always laugh that wherever we go, I end up talking to someone that I know, or even out of nowhere, talking to some total stranger and getting something going. It's not to the point of The Governor Clark Riley who literally knows everyone, which always impresses me, but I try to follow in his steps. As I always say, at least say hey to people, you might be surprised the stories you can get from the randoms.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: We're going to the Boogie Down Bronx for this dirty. The subtitles for some of her pics are just as entertaining as the pics themselves. Plus, she has a zillion pics to go through, that's always a cure for boredom, whether they're hot or not. As I was just about to post the blog, I get a message from Arizona Jas. She comes through at the buzzer this time. So this week? We're going to double up and go with not one, but two!

Arizona Jas: i found a nasty dirty..
Arizona Jas: she's bad
Me: Mangled elbows and all.
Me: Ouch.
Arizona Jas: for sure
Arizona Jas: lol
Me: Tits showing on one.
Me: That chick ain't right.
Arizona Jas: she is a dirty though
Me: What's that??
Me: That's not even human.
Arizona Jas: whats what?
Arizona Jas: too true
Arizona Jas: you like it ;)
Arizona Jas: what?
Me: ..That's what it says.
Arizona Jas: hahah fail
Arizona Jas: anyway, she surpasses dirty
Arizona Jas: shes down right nasty

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: I always like asking the crew for ideas. This week, I asked The_Freak if he had any ideas for a video to throw in.

The_Freak (8:18:12 PM): You should throw a hockey fight on there.
The_Freak (8:18:16 PM): The crazy one
The_Freak (8:18:19 PM): From like 94
Me (8:18:30 PM): I'm down for that.
The_Freak (8:18:38 PM): I'll get it for you

3 Quick Thangs:

1. A quick basketball note. You know I can ramble on this for days, but I won't bore most of you. To the NBA fans out there, if you haven't checked out NBATV (greatest channel ever) on Tuesday nights starting at 7:00 EST, you're missing out. The Lobstah guys hear me talk about this a lot, but in studio you get Gary Payton and Chris Webber as they rant and rave with Ahmad Rashad. I was never a CWebb guy when he played, but he's great on this show. GP makes it though. If you're into the Barkley type stuff on TNT, then you'll love GP here, it's that good. I wouldn't steer you in the wrong direction, especially when it comes to NBA, my passion in life.

2. Today's fact to feast on? Camels have three eyelids to protect them from the sand. Want another? The average woman consumes six pounds of lipstick in her lifetime. I've wrote about it before, and not that anyone cares, but a big thumbs down to really bright red lipstick. That's bad times coming from a guy's perspective, but maybe some are into that.

3. If you're on the Christmas card list, I sent most of those out on Monday. Many by the time they read this will already have it in their mailbox. Others, from the crazy distances away, you'll get yours, just be patient. Just randomly to name a few places on the list, we hit up Arkansas, Washington, Germany, several spots in Canada, Arizona, Maryland, and Alabama. That's just a small portion. It takes a while to get them all together, but I get into sending them every year out of tradition. I guess I have too much time on my hands.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

"Scut Farkus! What a Rotten Name!"

All credit to the blog title this week goes to none other than Corndog. He's repping a quote from A Christmas Story. Yep, the Ralphie Movie if you know it as that. Kari, you'll be proud that Ralphie is in the blog this week too. "There he stood, between us and the alley. Scut Farkus staring out at us with his yellow eyes. He had yellow eyes! So, help me, God! Yellow eyes!"

We're into the second week of December. I haven't done much Christmas shopping at all, but I never stress that one bit. I've done the Christmas Eve deal many of times where I'd be out there the day before. It'll get done, no biggies. I don't have a zillion people to buy for either, so maybe that makes things easier. As a dude, I do get into shopping, which I might be in the minority with, but it has to be on my terms. I'm the type that can't stand still in a place, I'm always on the move. That's especially true at work. If I sat behind my desk all day, I'd be miserable like no other. Forget that. I'm on my feet walking around, checking out what action is going on in the building, whatever, but no bum time. I'm a bum enough online so that's enough to even things out. I went to bed on Sunday afternoon at 12:30 PM after being up all night and morning, stupid.. On this blog you'll get cage fighting, arguing if ring girls even have a point, the greatest album of all time, more pullups, movies, college football bowl pools, and much much more!

It's time for a mini road trip. This one wasn't far away and we wrote about a trip to the same area recently. Cage fighting was what this one was all about and we rolled to Marietta, Ohio. In attendance for the trip was Spank who did the driving, Big Austin, and myself. We're becoming hooked on going to MMA shows and if you've never been, you must. You get your money's worth within the first half hour of being there and then some.

We left town around 1:30 and by that time, the snow had started to come in. That's nothing major around my area, we're not going to let some snow stop our trip. Less than 10 miles into our trip, we see a SUV laying on its side. The crazy thing about it is that when we drove by, the driver was just chillin' in his seat, talking on his cell phone. Get out of there man. On our trek through Route 50, we saw another good 6 or 7 wrecks. It was probably the most fire trucks and cops I've seen on that stretch in my life. People were wrecking like it was a demolition derby. The roads were brutal by the time we got on Route 50 and that's close to home. This was in the afternoon and we had a show to get to. After the show was over, it was apparently really bad back home and we were about 90 minutes away. People in Marietta that we knew thought we were crazy for even driving home and offered us free hotel rooms to stay. We just wanted to get home and with as cold as it was, it wasn't like the roads would've been much better by morning. We rode down in Spank's Mitsubishi Lancer, no four wheel drive, while riding on thin racing tires. It's a pimp ride, decked out, but probably not that smart we decided to drive that. We were laughing about that, but didn't run into any big problems on the drive down and up. It was bad, but it's the idiots who can't drive on snow that screw it up for everyone else.

A food update for anyone that goes through Parkersburg, West Virginia. We were deciding what to eat and Spank threw out Italian and I'm always down for that. He said Olive Garden since it was close and I nixed that out for something that wasn't a chain. Again, on a little trip, for the most part, you can get chain stuff at home. We weren't far from home and it happens every now and then, but I was wanting another route. We see a place called Jimmie Columbo's. Clark, now that you're in town, if you haven't hit this place up, go take the family to it as soon as possible, I'm serious. If I'm in town there again, I'll be hitting it up again for sure. I loaded up on manicotti, my #1 meal. I had to see how it'd compare to homemade stuff from Mom. That's one reason while I'm still at home when I'm pushing 30 and don't think anything of it, is that the parents rock it out like no other with cooking. I said if the home stuff was a 10, this was a 9.5 for me. This place also had a ton of celebs that have been through over the years with signed framed photos throughout. From a look standpoint, it reminds me of a cross between Minard's (my favorite local Italian joint) and Sunset. And as the old WV joke goes, what lies beyond the sunset? Tate's Fruit Market. If you're not in the area, then that one went completely over your head. That's why I always say there's a little bit of something in here for everyone.

The place we went to this time around was across the street from our last "arena". The previous show was promoted by Wolfe Cage Fighting. This one on Saturday was done by local guy Jerry Thomas (Tommy's bro) through the Hard Knocks Cage Fights promotion (http:// We're hooked, but we also go to support Kenny knock someone's block off. Kenny was the opening match this night instead of the main event. We thought that was weird, but he was glad to have an early match and not be waiting all night long. He was dominant in this one, taking it early in the 1st Round with a guillotine choke. The dude didn't have a chance, but Kenny was somewhat mad that the guy broke his full guard at one point. If that's all he has to get mad at after doing everything else right, he'll do fine. We joke that we're groupies for Kenny and he appreciates us going and supporting. Team Outlaw of Fairmont, where Kenny fights out of and we know some of the other members, they were on their A-game. They had about six of seven fighters on the show and none of them got beat. In fact, they all won convincingly. North Central WV had a bunch of fighters at this show. I was talking to Tommy about how far off MMA is to being regulated in our state since he's updated through his bro. It'll probably be a while, but he says at least the people are trying to explain the details to our legislature. WV, stop living in the 1950s and bring some MMA to the area, it's blowing up.

Most of the fights on the night were really lopsided for some reason. Some of these guys had no business being there. There was only one decision match of the night as well. The weird thing is that there was no blood in any match, which I would've put money down as happening. The last show we went, a few matches had blood spilling all over the place. The production of this show wasn't nearly as good as the Wolfe show recently. I was a bit disappointed that they didn't have the big screens like they had at the last few shows I've been to. The good was that we didn't have to hear the annoying redneck/auctioneer announcer as well as the DJ who would play things so loud that you couldn't hear much. The crowd at this show was top notch though, it gets pretty rowdy in there. When a fight starts to get slow or someone is a bum in the ring, the crowd won't mess around in bashing them like no other. Not for the faint at heart.

Time to rant on the cage girls. If you remember the St. Clairsvile show, the quality of their cage girls were rough, to be nice about it. The trio at Marietta last weekend? Nothing we were impressed with at all, fair at best. I really don't get the point of the ring girls if they're going to do the same thing all night long. I'm not expecting them to do something crazy, honestly I'm not. They're out there in the ring between rounds, walking on these goofy high heels that they look like stumbling drunks in, and hold the round number card up. At the end of the night, the crowd votes with cheers on which girl they think was the best. Coming from a guy's mentality, if I'm in a contest to win something, I'm usually competitive. These girls didn't seem to have that in them. It's not hard, you're dealing with a mostly male crowd with raging hormones, we're a bunch of idiots basically. All you'd have to do is shake or jiggle and the guys would eat that up, do something different each round. Instead, they just walked around and looked goofy with no talent, while their ribs stick out as they're in need of a cheeseburger, not much of a body to any. The whole anorexic look I've gave my opinion on before, so I won't rant too much on a negative side, but just stating what I personally think. The main chick won $500, 2nd received $300, and 3rd took home $200, so basically everyone was a winner. Why not give $1000 to the winner with the losers packing their bags and going home? That'd show who really wants it. Wouldn't that be more exciting for the fans? But then again, what do I know? For what it's worth to the people keeping track at home, the best chick in the place was this 40-year old MILF. Outside of that, not too much going on, but then again, it's mostly males at the show. The fights delivered though, that's all that matters.

The Marines were back in action for the event. They brought along the pullup bar to anyone who could show their stuff. The same rules as the last time I posted in the blog. You'd get something for 10, 15, and 20. Last time we were able to do it easy and got our shirt for doing 20. This time, they were somewhat punks about the ordeal. It was to the point that the crowd watching the pullup contest, they'd boo the Marines for not counting legitimate reps, that was pretty funny. People counted me off for doing 32 and I was going down and locking out as you should, but since we did ours without too much problem, they gave me credit for only 18. That's ok if it was like that for everyone, but it wasn't. The people who could do say 10 or so, they'd give them credit for giving all they had and still gave them a shirt. That didn't bother me much either way, but I got a kick out of the crowd getting pissed for the rules not being the same for everyone. I did get a nice toboggan this time, so that works, since I already have the shirt. My guess is that this crowd seemed to have more athletic people in it than the last one and they were short on shirts to hand out? The armed forces get my utmost respect and I've always said I'd never have the balls to even consider doing that, but why do some of these guys constantly have to act all hard? Are the other armed forces branches like that? I don't see it as much, and not making a quick judgement, but you're hard enough just for manning up and doing our country a favor. That gets my respect, not when you have to act like you can whip the world 24/7. Could it just be these Marines? It could be just people in general are like that, who knows. Also, as a side note, I saw something I've never seen in my life. This chick gets on the pullup bar and she did these like it was nothing and I thought I was seeing things, as did the rest of the crowd. Maybe I'm sexist, but usually girls can't do many pullups, if any at all. Heck, very few guys in our area can do more than just a few, it's true try it yourself, so it's not just chicks, a tough exercise to do. Anyways, to end this paragraph, this one chick gets up there and rips 10 legitimate pullups off and I didn't know what to think. The crowd gave her a big hand and rightfully so Maybe we should test her for roids.

Here's one to put age into perspective. In a month, I'll be hitting the big 3-0. As I always say, I definitely don't feel that age yet, but that's just how it goes. Maybe once my body starts breaking down to where I can't have my speed and flexibility, I'll cave into being "old". Only a number. I did have some people from the state evaluate our school and came into each room. One woman when I introduced myself said I looked like one of the students. I said that I hope that keeps up for a few more years because I'm sure the hair turns gray soon or balding happens, just part of life, no biggie. In the car, we had some rap going as I can't go too long without my rap going on Sirius or I might foam out of the mouth. I'm pretty good on road trips in limiting the rap since I know most people can't stand it, but I have to get a bit in. A song from the greatest album of all time came on and it was from Dr. Dre's The Chronic. Like the 1986 Celtics in the last blog, I won't even begin to argue The Chronic album. Spank asked Big Austin if he knew who it was as a general question. Austin didn't have a clue and Spank was totally surpised. I got to thinking, I was like, "Spank, the dude was 2 years old when that came out, he doesn't know that." 1992 and it seems like ages ago. I didn't expect Austin to know it, but it cracked me up how shocked Spank was that he didn't know, like it ruined his day. Most of my kids at work weren't even born when this one came out, wow.

The readers are beating down the door and have demanded another movie review. With all of that pressure, I had to deliver. As I've said in some of the recent blogs, I really wanted to see Transporter 3 in the theater. I couldn't get a good schedule with my crew that worked for everyone, so the theater didn't happen. Never fear though, that's what the good of the internet is for. I was able to watch this one Friday night. I know I'm biased towards this series, but if you haven't seen any of the Transporter movies, you truly are missing out. Jason Statham plays his role so well. Natalya Rudakova, maybe it's the Russian accent and she sorta comes off as being dirty in this movie, she's a cute one. She loses points for short hair, but as far as the connection with her and Statham and not having the romance get into the way of the movie too much, it works out. I dig this storyline and if you're all about action and something that will keep you interested, go watch this one. Oh, you want the rank, I'm getting there. We're going to give this one 8.2 Russian bottles of vodka out of 10, it's that good.

This is to the college football fans out there. Even if you're not a fan, a lot of people participate in the bowl pools in your area. Throw in a few bucks and you're guaranteed a good time. If you don't want to throw in a few bucks, why not try for free and join the best league on Yahoo? See, you can't even think of a reason not to want in on that. The_Freak created this one and it features a collection of our message board crew from Lobstah (, so you'll be in with good company. The Yahoo ID for our league is 18254. The password is balls. It's as simple as that, get in there. Make you picks, it takes no time to do. It's your civil duty. Go to Yahoo, Sports, Fantasy, then College Bowl Pick Em and you'll find your way into paradise. Confidence points though in that game, a huge thumbs down in my book, but I'm in regardless.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: After a short absence, Arizona Jas is back to provide us with this week's dirty. I asked her what the deal was with the girl since as I type this section, I'm at work and can't check till I get home. Here's the report: "shes got... pretty much 77 pictures of her barely clothed.. posing.. she's actually pretty... theres one pic of her just smiling.. and yeah.. but shes skanky lol". Sounds like a winner to me, so we'll roll with it.

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: I'm going to use a submission that ManDingo put up on our message board this past weekend. This one is a vid from Andy Samberg, a Saturday Night Live player and along with him in this video is his crew as well as Timberlake, Molly Sims, and Meadow Soprano. Creative and funny, or so I think anyways, but what do I know..

3 Quick Thangs:

1. The birthdays over the next few days are pitiful. Due to that, they won't get the mention. I will recommend some potato chips in this spot then. Kettle Cooked Mesquite BBQ Lay's. You won't be disappointed with these things. I eat entire bags at once, I can tear that stuff up for a little dude. By getting these, you also support The Dave Posey Fund, so you can't go wrong either way.

2. A few weird facts for this week.. #1, Horses can't puke. #2, Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

3. Last call for Christmas cards. If you want on the annual tradition list that has been going worldwide for years and haven't sent the address to me, then this is your last chance. Where else are you going to get a card from WV with random stuff written inside? This is the place. The going plan is to send this out next week sometime, unless you're from far out of the country, then those will be sent this week.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

MJ & The Dirty NC: Road Trippin' Again!

December has arrived. Now I can be safe with people having their trees up, lights on the houses, the Christmas songs jamming, and all of the hype. I'm into it for sure for the rest of the month, but we had to celebrate Thanksgiving first. I know I had a good one, the usual happenings, you know how it goes. How can you go wrong with some good home cooked meals? On top of that, most of this blog will be on yet another road trip, this one to Charlotte, North Carolina. These are easy to write, take a while to put together, but I seem to get the most responses from the road trips than I do on just about any other type of blog I ramble about.

The road trip began on Friday morning around 9:00. I drove this one, with Spank riding along for the roughly 6-hour trek to the Dirty Dirty. It's not deep dirty as the Atlanta trips are, but still it's south enough to me that I feel away from home and you can do your thing. As I usually say on these trips, overall, the people down south are much more kind than the punks up north. That's just what I see anyways, the southern hospitality is true, at least from the little action I've seen on the small travels. Other people may disagree, hard to tell. That's one of my favorite things about going south is that people don't mess around down there as far as making you feel at home. Imagine people with manners, it's like it doesn't even exist in most places. But down south, it's like you're living in the 1950s and to me it reminds someone of old time TV show families.

We hop in the car and get with it. Gas on Friday morning was $1.99 in my town when we rolled out. The lowest we saw it on the trip was in NC at $1.55, that's getting to be pretty nice. For the ride down, our "breakfast" was some pepperoni rolls from Abruzzino's Bakery in scenic Gypsy, West Virginia. If you don't know of pepperoni rolls, you're not from WV obviously. And if you don't know about them, you're missing out like no other, I won't even begin to argue that. Hot Abruzzino's was pretty good indeed. They may have some of the best bread around, but pepperoni wise they lack. Still good, don't get me wrong. The best in the area to me would be D'Annunzio's in North View or Country Club Bakery in Fairmont. On the ride down, we either had Hip Hop Nation or Shade 45 (both rap stations, what else?) cranking on Sirius, sports radio, and also Guns N Roses' new CD, which will be reviewed in full, towards the bottom. Road trips with Spank are always easy since we're both rap guys, not many in our crew are into that.

If you're on I-77, hit up Exit 49. There you'll find Carolina Bar-B-Q. When we go on trips, we don't want your normal chain restaurants you can find anywhere. What's the fun in that? You want something dirty, greasy, and things you can't find at home. We saw this place on the exit sign. The logo on the exit was so plain and generic that we knew it was our stop. We get there and outside was a mechanical pig. I've seen mechanical horses and little cars for kids outside of places for kids, but a pig? That's new one, so I knew I had to get a pic on that bad boy. Inside, top notch service. The old waitress was pumped to do her thing and the food, amazing. I got a chopped BBQ sandwich, coleslaw, hush puppies, and fries. The hush puppies were literally as big as my fist and it'd be tough to beat the taste. The prices were also awesome and mix that in with some true southern sweet tea, yum. Then they had this model train above our heads going around the place while we ate. You can't get that at your average bum place. The moral here? Don't go chain when you're away from home. You can get chain at home anyday.

We get there and stay at my buddy ScottyB's pimp shack in Charlotte for two days. Again, it's the southern hospitality, they made us feel at home the entire time. I've wrote about the same trip a year ago in the blog if you're bored, but I'm a big fan of Scott's setup there. We probably had everyone there sick to death that we played so much Call of Duty 5 on 360 though in the living room. For those who know me, I guess you wouldn't be too surprised that I couldn't go there without my laptop since it's a huge addiction. Yeah, sad that I can't go a few days without internet, but it's just the truth. The fact that I took COD5 with me too? Even worse. I felt like a bum not doing much for myself there, but they wouldn't let us have it any other way. Judy, Scott's wife, she's up for nomination for Wife of the Year. You know how we did Dad of the Year last season? We might have a new addition. I felt like I didn't leave my house in WV, with Judy being nonstop cooking, cleaning, taking care of the baby, while having to deal with us. And not to get fired up at all? That's good stuff. Great cooking too Judy, you guys went way out of your way, much appreciated.

While down there, I got to check out the iPhone. Shawna's Mom has one too and I've been impressed since seeing hers. They added the Shazam app. Upon seeing it, it kind of blew my mind. You load up this app and hold the phone up while a song is playing. It'll recognize the song in no time, then come back and give you the song name, who sings it, what album, and everything short of their social security number. Pretty wild stuff. Then I got to see a basketball app where to play it, you actually do the shooting form using your phone. We laughed at how funny that'd be to be sitting around a bunch of strangers and out of nowhere you're shooting hoops with your phone. That'd be worth it just to see people look at you like you're an idiot. I'm 20 years behind the times with cell phones it seems. I'm up on everything else technology, but I need to get with it on the phone deal, they're getting crazy.

The topping to the trip was of course the Celtics game. This far into the blog and I haven't even mentioned it? For shame. Again, props to Scott for hooking us up with some way nice seats. I like getting to games super early and staying till the buzzer goes off, might as well get your money's worth. We're on the lower level and our seats are directly in line with midcourt. We had time to kill, so we walked up to the luxury boxes. As we walk up, an usher says that Michael Jordan is up there and we may be lucky for an autograph or something. We get up top and we're the only people there. We look to the box next to us and there stands Jordan. This was one of those half-enclosed boxes, so Spank sticks his head into Jordan's box and starts yelling at him to get attention. Spank asks if he can get a picture, but MJ says he's not allowed to do that (I'd assume because a zillion people would be wanting one), but asked Spank if he could shake his hand instead. By that time, we had to roll out of there, but we were near one of the greatest, some would argue the greatest, basketball player of all time. We all wondered what he was worth just with his clothes. He had on an insane leather jacket with who knows what material, snake skin boots, and bling that you could see shining from a far distance. He was in his box for the first half and then moves to the courtside seats during the second. At that time, he has 6 or 7 cops around him at all moments. A brush with greatness.

Now we go back to our seats. The celebrity meetings aren't over yet. Walking up our section was none other than Cedric "Cornbread" Maxwell, 1981 NBA Finals MVP whose jersey is retired in Boston. He's also a current radio broadcaster for the Celtics. I doubt a lot of people would know him in person unless they were big NBA fans, even though he was a real good player. Still, I'm constantly bitter than it's few and far between to find some true hardcore NBA fans. As I see Max walking up, I don't have anything to lose, I'll ask if he has time to take a quick picture. He's very nice in person and seemed to be pumped to take the pic. He stands 6'8" and is a huge dude. The comments I've been getting on my pics on MySpace and Facebook have people getting a kick of how tall these guys are next to me. I'm not tiny in height, but not what I'd call tall either. Just an average guy at 5'10". If you thought Max was tall, then we move to..

I look over and see a giant of a man sit down in the next section over from us, almost directly to our side. He's by himself and I do a double take and look over to Spank. I tell him that's NBA Hall of Famer, "The Chief" Robert Parish. As a member of the Big Three featuring Kevin McHale and The Basketball Jesus himself (Larry Bird of course, get with it people!), I had to seize another opportunity to get a picture. I've never been an autograph guy at all. I'd much rather shake a guy's hand or get a picture than the signature. I feel like asking for an autograph is more begging than asking for a pic, even though most celebs don't want people asking for either, but that's the territory with being famous. We see people gathering up around him and I go down there with Spank. He's always been low key and kept to himself, even when being in the limelight of the 1980s Celtics teams. The 1986 Celtics, I'll argue forever, is the best NBA team ever. We get to The Chief and I kindly ask if he'd be willing to take a pic. He didn't mind at all. A chick was in front of me and asked me to take her pic with him. I said ok if she'd take one with us for the return favor, so a deal was made. On the pic you see, Chief and Spank are on the same level and I'm up one step. I've been having people wonder that when they see the pic. Chief is 7'1" and Spank stands about the same height as me or an inch taller, so that'll give you an idea how much of a beast Parish is. All of this was before the game even started and I was pumped like no other. Usually I don't get way excited when seeing a celebrity, but we had to admit that at nearly 30 years old, we were like little kids out there that night. That makes my meetings with the Celtics Big Three left to only meeting McHale one day. It might not be much to non-basketball fans, but Celtics are my passion, to a weird obsession level.

The actual game was just a bonus. It turned out that the Bobcats played another close game. Last year's game I saw was the version where Ray Allen busted a trey at the buzzer to win and you've all seen highlights of that one. I won't ramble on with basketball details, as much as I'd like to though. I know you're wondering, how did the dirties stack up on this trip compared to other recent ones? Remember how awful the "Buffalo Jills" were at the Bills game? Or the Pittsburgh trips over the summer? Flip that to the opposite for the Charlotte dancers. They didn't put on 10 pounds of makeup for one, so that's always a plus in my book. They also looked great and had some hot bodies. That should be expected, but I guess Buffalo never got that memo. Most of these chicks had abs that were jacked like no other, yet didn't look manly overall. I was talking to Spank and we could only think of one girl in our town with legit abs. Give me that combo with something up top for sure (these dancers were lacking in that department for the most part, boo) and down low and I'm fine. That combo hardly exists though, but I'm probably too picky anyways.

Ok, last paragraph for the road trip. I've lost some readers through all of that, but as usual, I hope most stuck around for the action because we're not finished yet. Not even close. The weather down there was pretty nice for the most part. We get there on Friday and it's 65 degrees. What?? Saturday it starts to cool off though, but not like it has been at home. Spank and I (that sounds so cheezy, but I'll use it for once) had to get in a run while we were down there to take advantage of the weather. On Saturday, it was 46 degrees when we ran around noon. That was a heatwave for me with what I've been running in. As a comparison, yesterday it was 30 degrees when I ran outside with wind blasting me in the face. We ended up getting a near 4-mile run in as there was so much more space to run down there. It was then time on Sunday morning to head home. They say (who is they, I dunno) that the Sunday after Thanksgiving is one of, if not the most crowded day of traffic. For probably two hours of our drive back, we were going no more than 40 miles per hour, but usually around 20 or so. That was brutal. On that time though, we can thank Sirius. We listened to all of the Bills game and of course some more rap. It's a good thing we didn't have to look at the Jills, the benefit of radio.

A few new CDs to mention, let's get to it..

Guns N Roses: Chinese Democracy. The wait is finally over. It's been talked about being released for what seems like ages, but Axl Rose is back in action. I know, most of the stuff I listen to is rap, but I can switch it up when need be. How can you not like Axl anyways, no matter what kind of music you're into? I might be biased, but I'm a big Guns N Roses guy, even if the group isn't the same crew it was years ago. Either way, Axl still has his voice and you can't go wrong. Pick up this CD because it'll deliver. Even if you've had questions wondering if Axl can still do it, this will answer that for you. Songs I recommend are Better, If The World, Chinese Democracy, and Scraped.

LL Cool J: Exit 13. 40 years old and still doing his thing. He's a bit more club rap than he used to be, which I'm not a big fan of at all, but he still has talent. I haven't listened to this one yet actually, so I won't give much of a review outside of recommending a few songs. Go download, or buy if you choose, the following songs: Cry, Like A Radio, Ur Only A Customer, and Dear Hip Hop.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: We're going to hit up West Palm Beach, Florida for this.

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: A quick one for this week's edition. 14 seconds and one that has me watching it a few times over. Again, maybe it's just me..

3 Quick Thangs:

1. How about a quick movie review? I watched The Great Debaters the other day at work. I've it at the house for a few months, but never got around to watching it. Another teacher brought it in this week and it's a movie you have to see. I know I'm biased towards a lot of Denzel Washington movies, but here's another that is worthy. I'm going to give it a high score of 8.4 out of 10, one of the better movies I've seen in a while. I was surprised that even the kids were so into it. Jurnee Smollett in this movie, I think she looks pretty good.

2. Here's a quick story to show how old school the parents are. They came back with a coffee. The cup had one of those wraps on it so you can hold it without burning yourself. They both said they've never seen that before. What? Those have been around for ages. Good story though, gotta love it.

3. Today's fact? A crocodile can't stick out its tongue. Another fact? A woodpecker can peck 20 times per second.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Eskimo Ice Cream: Neither Icy Or Creamy

This week's blog title comes to you straight from the frozen tundra of Yellowknife, way way up there in the Northwest Territories of Canada. We'll thank Carolina, a blog fan from way back, for this week's entry.

This looks to be the last post of November as we all gear up for Thanksgiving on Thursday. At least the ones in the US that is. It also looks to be a blog filled with a lot of different topics, some you may not expect. Sure, they all do, but this one will hit some areas that should keep the people interested, but stranger things have and do happen. As you prepare that turkey in the oven (or one of those deep frier deals which I hear makes awesome turkey, but I've never tried) and eat it, try not to fall asleep on me with too much tryptophan. See, every now and then the blog can bust out the big words like that. I gotta keep everyone on their toes anyways.

When I start out a blog, a tough thing people might not realize is what order to put all the things I want to talk about. I hope that most read through each post, but I realize some come in and just want to read something quick and roll out. Fair enough, there's not enough minutes in each day. How about a few quick movie reviews to set the tone of always being in a good mood around here. As I always say, what fun is it to be in a down mood all the time. You might as well make the best of it and stay positive. I'm on Thanksgiving break right now, so the final two days I had with the kiddies before that time, I might as well pop in a movie and go with it. They deserved it and get along well in my room, so not much more I can ask. On Friday, we got to watch Are We Done Yet?. I'm biased towards Ice Cube both as a rapper and actor, so my judgment could be off on this review, but it's what I think. This is a movie that everyone can watch and it's a good time. If you liked the first version, Are We There Yet?, you'll get a kick out of this one too. The kids are funny in it, Cube does his thing, and for the guys (or girls too I guess), can you really go wrong with Nia Long? Ever since coming into her own during the classic Friday, circa 1995, she'd be what we call around here, high quality. I know, you want the rank. We're giving this one 7.5 smacks to the face out of 10.

Monday rolls around and we pop in Drillbit Taylor. This one may not be as family oriented, but if you like a comedy that will have you laughing the entire time as much as I do, this movie is for you. One of the funnier movies I've seen in a good while. As with Are We Done Yet?, this also kept the kiddies interested during the entire time. Throw me into that mix as well. Owen Wilson is the star here as he's a hired bodyguard for this group of three dorks who keep getting bullied at high school by these two older kids. You get tons of pranks, fights, and laughs for days. Troy Gentile and Nate Hartley play their roles to a tee here as well. Go out and rent this one if you haven't yet, you won't be disappointed. In that case, we're giving it 7.9 kicks to the groin out of 10.

People out there have been wondering how Kasher's Hottest Babe Tournament has been going. If you remember, I talked about this not long ago and ran down early results and who all was featured. Now we're down to our Final Four and it's getting intense. In one matchup, we have #2 seed Megan Fox (Actress bracket winner) taking on #3 Carrie Underwood (Singers bracket). On the other side, we get #1 seed Anna Kournikova (Others bracket) facing #7 Lucy Pinder (Models bracket). Out of the four left, I'm throwing my votes in for Lucy Pinder. She's rising up the charts real quick on our message board that we spend WAY too much time on. Megan beat Scarlett Johansson in the Elite Eight to get here, Carrie took out Kate Beckinsale, Kournikova over Allison Stokke and Erin Andrews in a 3-way, and finally Pinder advanced with a win versus Brooke Burke. Give nerds like us who have too much time on our hands a big list of anything and the arguments can be never-ending. I'll be sure to reveal the winner of this once things are complete, so hold tight.

In my local paper recently, there were a few articles to give the rest of the country more firepower for our stereotypes. When you live here, you take it with a grain of salt because a lot of time it's overblown. The stats I'm about to go over now can't be argued though, it makes those in my state who aren't bums thrown into the same mix as some of these others. We were given a failing grade in premature births. The article says out of the child bearing aged (whatever that would be) chicks, 23.1% are uninsured with a 32.6% smoking rate. I'd guess that's the percent of the ones with premature births. Out of that bunch, one out of three are smokers? Ouch. They are probably the ones who smoke while pregnant too. Smoking in general is enough to get me fired up, but when you're carrying a baby too, that's straight up white trash. We again lead the nation in heart disease, rates of diabetes, and high cholesterol, great. Another article in the same time period goes over Huntington, West Virginia. It's deemed as the fattest and unhealthiest city in the entire nation. Hey, I just write about it, not like I'm making it up. This article also says that half of Huntington adults are obese. They are tops in the percentage of elderly people who have lost all of their teeth, 50%. Half, you serious?? The Yellow Pages lists more pizza places (nearly 200) for the Huntington area than the entire state has gyms and health clubs (149). Kristie, you need to get your town in order, hah. Just messing with ya.

Time for some quick pet peeves. What's up with the people who wear their keychains on their upper arms that look like rubbery bracelets? I guess I'm missing out on that fashion. I just don't get it. Also, I've probably rambled on about this next thing before, but the earpiece that is either a phone, iPod, or whatever kind of Bluetooth device? I'm sure it's useful for some people since I don't even know exactly what they are, but to me it screams "Hey, look at me, I want your attention and to be noticed." Lastly, it can't be only me, but how often do you wake up like 2 minutes before your alarm goes off? No matter how much sleep you got that night, if this happens, it can ruin your morning in no time. Those few minutes wouldn't mean anything, but you just seem more refreshed when you sleep until the alarm actually goes off. At least it does to me anyways. I just want to bash my alarm into little pieces when I wake up before it goes off in that situation, just because. But I can't fool anybody, I wake up like a champ and get on with the day regardless.

I'm going to end with a fast one from Saturday afternoon. How fast? Be patient, I'm getting there. Big Cork and his girl Kristin moved yet again, this time not far at all, but to Nutter Fort. We always laugh how often I've helped Cork and Posey move from place to place, but that's what we do. You can't tell your buddies no on things like that, plus it usually ends up not being as bad as you would think. In attendance to help the move was Cork, Ozzie, Posey, and Spank. Posey jokes with me and Cork that everytime we move, he can't let us be in charge since we have no clue on how to load things to save space and have no common sense either. Either way, we're there to add muscle or whatever else. Between Ozzie, Posey, Spank, and myself we went in there like a strung out cokehead bouncing off the walls. We hate sitting around and killing time if we're working. We want to get it done as fast as possible and then we can be bums afterwards. Forget the slow-motion mentality. By the time things were over, we had everything loaded into the U-Haul and unloaded in about an hour's time, it was madness, but a job well done. We didn't mess around one bit with that, moving companies would be jealous or something.

It's time to get this thing to a wrap. The next few blogs should have some decent stories involved if all goes right. This weekend, I'm off to Charlotte, North Carolina with Spank as we head on an NBA trip to see my Celtics do battle. We did this same trip last year and weirdly enough, the Celtics are in town there on the same weekend as they were in 2007. Thanks to the scheduling gods for that one. Also, a big hookup since we have a place to stay at Scotty B's and he came through with some box seats down low for free. You can't put a price on that and everyone knows I'm in for NBA trips. I wrote about the Charlotte trip last year if you want to search in the old blogs around this time. The week after that, it's off to Marietta, Ohio once again to go support Kenny bust heads in some cage fighting action. It doesn't get much better than NBA and MMA in person. That's too much excitement at once for this small town guy and then Christmas is right around the corner, time to get pumped!

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: We have an old dirty here. 38 years old, but all legal ages can be worthy of consideration. This one again comes to us straight from Arizona Jas's recommendations. This dirty is one that has a zillion pics too, she needs to slow down, but she did make it into this space this week, so you can't do much about that. Anyways, here's this week's selection, thanks Jas!

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: We go to the snow infested streets of Webster County to get this addition from Chrissy. If you don't laugh at this one, then I guess you have no humor. Check it out for yourself:

3 Quick Thangs:

1. Let's try birthdays for Tuesday, November 25th and Wednesday, November 26th. Our first double! Why so? Both days don't feature much is why. Tuesday starts out with Ben Stein. You all know his voice from Ferris Bueller's Day Off and Win Ben Stein's Money to name a few, 64. Singer Amy Grant, 48, although I'm not sure she's high on the radar of "celebs". Kelly Bundy, aka Christina Applegate, 37. Wednesday has Tina Turner, who hasn't really been relevant lately, she turns 70. Whoa, I didn't figure that old. She looks 105, but you know. Shawn Kemp and his 26 illegitimate children, he's now 39. I could list a lot of C-list athletes, but I'd only be amusing myself with that, so I'll hold off.

2. This week's words of wisdom, straight from the streets of Maryland.. As usual, these are from real people, which makes it even better..

The_Freak (12:09:55 AM): 9 out of 10 guys prefer women with big breasts..the 10th remaining guy prefers the other 9 guys

3. Corndog is getting mentioned this week. We're filled with blog reader mentions this week, always worth going the extra effort to not disappoint the faithful. Corn is all about karaoke and hits up some pretty good submissions online himself. For anyone that knows Corn, picture a guy with the biggest southern accent and who is never in a bad mood, how can ya not like the guy? His recommendation this week is from Singsnap. Even if you're not a karaoke person, which I'm not, you'll cure some boredom by searching regular bums on here and seeing how they can rock it out. There's even rap on there, so that reeled me in. I know, it doesn't sound like much that would interest you, but don't say I didn't warn ya.. Also, the blog would like to congratulate Corndog for proposing to his chick recently! If you're wondering, she said yes to Corndog's charm.. More to come next week!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Pimp Cups, Christmas Cards, & Faceplants

This will be one of those posts where I have a bunch of different topics to hit. Those are usually pretty easy to write and usually there's something in there for every type of person. In just a few weeks, it'll be Thanksgiving time, but Christmas is already in the air. I guess I understand, and I've said it before it's a money maker, but at least give a little bit of respect to Thanksgiving, that's a fun time. I like Christmas as much as the next person, but hold that stuff off till December. With that said, let's get into this week's topics!

Big Cork turned 27 this past Wednesday, so props to him for that feat. His girl Kristin planned a deal for him that was somewhat of a surprise in Morgantown. She asked some of us to come hang with them and go out to eat for the big night. The plan was for us to hit up Kegler's, a sports bar type place and I was down for that. It's the same place I've written about during softball season this past summer that we went to a few times. We pull into Kegler's and it's packed. One side is full and we go to the other and they have a private party planned, boooo. Then it was Option B, which we really didn't have at the time. As a sidenote, for the people in attendance: Posey, Scherri, Cork, Kristin, Big Mule, Trev Daddy Dollars, Paulie Walnuts, and myself. We then were off to Crockett's Lodge, which I've never been to before. I'm not a big bar dude at all as everyone knows. I was glad it was a bar that wasn't where I was on top of someone and had to scream at them 2 inches away from my face. It was more of the sports bar deal like Kegler's, so I liked that. Plus, I had live NBA games on in front of my face, so that more than made up for it.

As a good laugh, Kristin made Cork a pimp cup for his birthday. We've always joked other the years how we wanted one just because, now he can make that claim. She made the designs herself and it turned out awesome. I want one now. Maybe I can drink my Gatorade out of it. Also, the little waitress chick we had up there, brutal. One of the worst ever, but we didn't make a huge deal out of it since we weren't in a hurry. This place wasn't big, but she'd check on us maybe every 20 minutes or so. She left something off of my order and I asked her about it and she started getting all worried like it was the end of her life. I told her it was cool and she didn't have to panic. Being that she was in a panic, I figured I'd get that part of my order in just a few minutes. Nope, try again. I got it later in the night as she forgot and apologized forever. As we were getting ready to leave, this older dude was mangled drunk. I'm not the party type and really can't stand being around drunks, but this guy was a character. He was on his way out of the place and was stumbling all over the place. He busts into Scherri and almost knocks her off the seat and then a few steps later takes a face plant right to the ground. My favorite part of that was that he'd try to get up real slow, hold himself on the ground and try again. I'd be giving commentary with the oohs and ahhs to set up the mood. Finally, the bouncer helps him get out of there. The moral for me? That's my lesson to never drink. I know I take an extreme negative stance on that, but that's how I've always been.

My sleep schedule is usually all out of whack. This week, it was back to that setup. Saturday night/Sunday morning for example. I go to bed at 6:30 in the morning after being online most of the night or playing video games. No biggie, I go to bed that time on weekends a lot. The thing is, I wake up at 8:00 after 90 minutes of sleep and head to church. I'm home by 9:30 and go back to bed until 12:15. At that time, I eat real quick, get suited up, and then go to Bridgeport to play ball. Weirdly enough, I wasn't tired one bit playing ball this week with the crew and had a real good shooting day. That's a good start to the winter ball playing season and I can definitely tell that running all summer helped that out. Later in the week, here's another. Wednesday night, I was up most of that as well and had to work the next morning. I go to bed at 4:30 in the morning that day after being online for most of that. I wake up at 6:00 and go to work on 90 minutes of sleep and rock it out like a champ. I wasn't tired until I got home and got a 90 minute nap, only to go to bed around 1:00 the next night for work. I always say I'll go to bed at a certain time, but those bed time goals rarely work. The moral to this one? I never learn.

You didn't think I'd have this week's blog and not talk about Call of Duty 5 did you? Tons of my crew and others are so hooked with this that it's probably not healthy, but I always say that I could be hooked to much worse. Tuesday I had work off due to Veteran's Day (Spank and those guys have more balls to do that stuff than I ever will, so they know it's much appreciated), so that meant a day to get my gaming on. After getting in an early morning workout and run, I go to GameStop as soon as the truck shipment arrives and have the masterpiece in my hand. I've been playing it like crazy this week and it's well worth the purchase, go out and get this bad boy if you haven't already. My style is the same on this version as it was on COD4. I play almost nothing but Free-For-All and love that stuff. I can't get into the whole team concept at all in these games as I don't feel there's as much strategy in those. Then again, all of the team guys argue against Free-For-All, so you'll get all kinds of opinions. Graphically, this version is smooth and better than COD4. I won't ramble a lot more on this, but if you're not already on my Xbox 360 buddies list, go ahead and add me to do some battle: Bird33WV

The day I went to pick up COD5, I also went with the parents to pick up a new TV for the living room. Probably from this time of the year on until early January, it's going to be way packed with the traffic from shoppers. It's just something everyone has to deal with. I'm fairly impatient, but Dad is probably the worst of anyone, it cracks me up at times actually. We were waiting for about 20 minutes on Saltwell Road on our way there due to the power company working on the phone lines. People started honking horns and Dad was having enough of the wait as well. As soon as we get the sign to go slow through the section of work, this dude passes us around a corner that he had no business trying it on. The tough guy drivers who hammer on the gas only to see them a minute later behind someone else is always entertaining. As he passed us, Mom said we'd see him in a ditch ahead due to a wreck. We didn't quite see that, but we did see him on the side of the road a bit farther up. What happened? Dude's car was smoking like crazy and he was standing out of it all pissed off. You shouldn't laugh at that, but tough guy probably had it coming. Go rev that car up some more in that piece of junk you were driving. Stuff like that needs to be on video.

Since I said people are always getting into Christmas earlier and earlier, I guess I'll go back on what I said a bit ago. How's that? For a good while now, I've been all over the Christmas card tradition. They go worldwide and I get a kick out of sending them out to places such as Germany, Canada, and all of the parts in between. I'm also a big proponent of actually writing out a card. You can't just get a Christmas card, sign your name on it and mail it out. What's the thought in that? To me, that's garbage, seriously. If you're going to do that to your buddies, I say not even bother. A 4 year old kid can sign their name on a card and send it out, no fun behind that. Put something in that card to make it yours. Write up a little rambling on there or something funny, people will get into it a lot more for the Christmas spirit. Just trust me on this one. I don't know a lot, but I know I'm ready to rock out the cards to my internet crew and whoever else is interested. I have a ton on the list over the years, and if you're on it before, you'll be back more than likely. If you're a newbie, drop me an email at and send me your address and I'll put it with the collection.

I was driving behind this old man the other day in a truck. Nothing out of the ordinary, but I noticed a radar detector in the truck. Still, nothing that is uncommon, right? Well, dude was going about 25 miles an hour on a road that had a 45 mile per hour speed limit. Come on dude, what's the point of that radar detector you have then? Are you just enjoying the scenery as you hold up traffic for a mile and just curious to where the coppers are pulled on the side of the road at? Apparently so since you weren't driving like a madman. Just a little side topic to throw in here.

I'm going to end the main writeup with one that everyone can enjoy (or not enjoy, suit yourself). Credit is given to my boy TMac in Toronto for this find. He found this on a message board of this guy showing off his car and his chick in the same pic. What sparked after that was some of the best message board material you'll see, pages upon pages. As I type this part up, today they have 51 pages of comments. I guess this guy thinks his chick looks good, but I'm not sure anyone will say anything even close to that. Ok, I'll say it, this chick is bad times and I think you'll agree with me. Sure, that could be mean to say, but we're honest around here. I'm a pretty low key guy and try not to bash things too often, but sometimes it's necessary, especially if it gets posted onto the internet. I'll let the comments on this board speak for themselves, this will cure some of your boredom for the day. You can thank TMac for this find later, but for now, click here:

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: Arizona Jas is back at it again. She might be permanent in this section each week, she finds them better than I do probably. I give credit where it's due and we have another fan submission:

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: A dude getting whipped by a chick. The commentary during all of this is worth it alone. How does this even happen?

3 Quick Thangs:

1. Birthday time and we'll celebrate for Monday, November 17th. What does that day bring us? Let's shake the crystal ball and find out.. Director Martin Scorsese starts things off by being 66. Actress Lauren Hutton, 65. 3-time Cy Young winner, pitcher Tom Seaver, 64. The creator of Saturday Night Live, Lorne Michaels, 64. See a trend here? We're not missing a year it seems like, plus we have plenty to get through. Also at 64 would be actor Danny DeVito. NBA Hall of Fame member, Elvin Hayes, 63. Politician Howard Dean, who I don't consider a celeb, but he had his 15 minutes of fame during the last election when he was a screaming idiot. At least the sound clips of him are funny, but he's 60. Daisy Fuentes, 42. That's a deep list there, most being worthy.

2. The locals need to hit up Snyder's Gourmet Market in Bridgeport. It's pricey, but you get your money's worth and then some. It's a quality deli that has all of your Italian cheeses, meats, olives, desserts, and whatever else you can think of. The setup of this place has to be seen, it's good times. They also have a wine room for people into that type of deal. I loaded up on some of the best cannolis as well as a pound of prosciutto, probably my favorite lunch meat out there, it doesn't get much better.

3. We'll end this edition with some wise words from The_Freak at 3:55 in the morning, uncensored..

The_Freak (3:55:29 AM): This bitch on the Food Network is WAY TOO EXCITED

The_Freak (3:56:26 AM): No chick should ever get this excited about food. I'm also sick of her saying "kids". I'm not her fuckin kid.