Wednesday, December 24, 2008

069, Bad Breath, & Merry Christmas!

The old ladies were fuming inside. That was the scene at Village Square Bingo last Friday night. I was due for a Bingo trip. The last time I went, as I wrote in these very same pages, I won for a small amount. I basically broke even on the night, but it's still a positive when you can yell Bingo and have people all sorts of worked up. In attendance for Saturday's event was Cork, Kristen, Ozzie, Maria, Spank, and myself. These old people impress me. They have about a zillion sheets at once going and have no problem keeping up. Me on the other hand? I'm stressing out the entire time, although I have a blast playing, I'm tense because it's so quick. I literally walk out of Bingo with a sore back or shoulders. I guess I'm a weakling when it comes to old lady sports.

In the room we were in, we were the only people in there younger than 50. I'm not exaggerating on that one either. Fortunately, it was a non smoking room or most of us probably wouldn't have even attempted to get in with that mess in our faces. Ozzie, as his famous saying goes, he wants to burn cig smokers' eyeballs out. You'll remember that quote from an Atlanta trip a few years back with Cork riding along with us. Although harsh, I could very well see him doing that one. Part of me not being able to be laid back when I play is probably because I don't shut up during the game. Kristen and Maria had to be sick of us, let alone the people in the room who didn't even know us. How fun would it be to play in silence anyways? We get down to the last game and none of the six have won a dime yet. Due to the Christmas season, the workers come around and passed out a free card to end the night, worth over $2000 as a surprise. People were hyped for that, it's a war in there. It's late in the game, tension is mounting.. Cork starts to get the room buzzing as he has the next card on the screen for the win. That's just as a tease and isn't official until called, so he had to wait to see if someone had the number to win before him. What's that I see? O69! Yep, Cork gets to scream it out as the entire room looks at him in disgust. Meanwhile, the rest of our crew is obviously pumped and Kristen almost had a heart attack, good times. This is the first time Cork has won money like that, so he was deserving. I'm not sure if he smacked people in the face afterward with all of those bills, but he did take us all out to eat afterwards, props on that. Win or lose, Bingo is weirdly a great time. Maybe that makes me more like an 80-year old lady, but so be it.

Then we move to Saturday night. It was a family get-together at Ozzie's new house, which is quite the place to see. I'm definitely a fan of his setup there, it's a pimp house with enough room to house a a third world country. You could play tennis in his bedroom and the party shower is one of my favorite features of the house. The food when our family is around, I'll put it up against anyone's and I'm not just saying that. Aside from the food, we got to hang and watch the college bowl games as well as some NFL action to boot. Speaking of which, my Bears are somehow alive going into this final week, crazy.

After that, it was board game time. I'm always down for that. I'm not sure if that shows that I'm boring or not, but if I like something, I'll admit it. Kari brought over Balderdash, one of my favorites of all time. If you haven't played this one with a group of people, you're missing out. I know it seems weekly that I'm saying that you're missing out, but take my word as usual. Basically, it's a game to see who is the best at throwing some BS out for others to believe. Tonight's winner was my Uncle Jeff, he was dominant on this night, reminiscent of the many years he dominated the basketball courts of the area without being stopped. I had to take being happy with my 2nd Place as I tied with Kari. It's one of those games, that even if you do bad, you're still going to have a quality time. Get out there and buy it. I hung around till later in the night when Ozzie busted out a fancy new poker table that Maria got him as an early present. Some of the guys left battled in hold em for a bit, but I called it a night at that point.

It's time for a quick underrated/overrated segment. First, we'll hit up underrated. You know what is underrated? That'd be Swedish Fish. Yep, the little red candies. These are too addictive. It's like Doritos, you can't just eat a few and be done with them. How about overrated? On that list is french fries with cheese. I'm not saying they are bad. I like eating them from time to time. My problem is that they are good for a bit and then it kicks into you and they're not quite as good as they once were. It's similar to the hot dog deal I've talked about. The hot dogs early on rock, but when you get to your 3rd one you're starting to hurt, 4th it grinds on you, and if you go over that, it's time to slow down.

As stated before, I'm a guy that doesn't mind to get out there and do some shopping. Hopefully that doesn't make me too metrosexual, but you know. No, I don't want to be in one store for hours as I stare into space, but when I'm after something or have a hole in my pocket to burn, shopping can be a good outlet. I finished up my Christmas shopping on Tuesday afternoon. It was packed like expected, but I didn't mind. One thing I do mind is when you're at the mall or anywhere big during this time, with how slow people are. I'm the type that walks at a fast pace and can't just stand around, walking like a turtle behind someone. I'm the guy that is walking through the crowd, ducking in and out of the scene, just to get to my destination. You people that go so slow that you end up causing problems and I'm stepping on the back of your shoes, we need an extra lane for you bums. I'm usually a fairly patient person, but not when it comes to slow walkers, get a move on.

Here's another one. Bad breath. We've all been around it in our lifetime, probably quite a bit. I was around this dude the other day that was brutal. He was the type that is spitting into your face and at the same time wants to stand a half inch from your face. They might do that in Europe or other places, but I like my space, especially when you reek worse than a garbage man after a 10-hour shift in 90 degree weather, sweating his nads off. Maybe I'm too much of a neat freak, but I always want to brush my teeth or if I'm not able to somewhere, at least throw in some mints to crank on. It's not that hard people. Most have to agree with me on that I hope.

Last week I got one of the better comments I've had in a while for a blog. That was from my buddy Wes, now residing in the streets of Myrtle Beach, but in Shinnston for Christmas. His comment had me cracking up and he got to ramble on just as I do, you might want to check out his words in the last blog. Normally, I don't get a lot of posted comments on my blogs. Most people either tell me things about them in person or I'll get a ton of instant messages from anywhere and everywhere. Either way is fine by me, it keeps me motivated to write about my daily happenings.

Another "movie" down over the past week. This was more of a documentary than a movie, but I've heard nothing but rave reviews for it. It's called Bigger, Stronger, Faster. It's done by Chris Bell. You may even remember his brother Mike "Mad Dog" Bell, who was a former wrestler and who just recently died. The story is a feature of the three Bell brothers and how steroids played a part of their life goals. Mad Dog was a total mess and it ended up ruining him, whether other factors played a part or not, we don't know yet. If you're into the steroid fascination at all, this is a documentary that is very informative, some things you may think you know, but you don't. Chris Bell does a great job with producing this and talking to a lot of big names, showing the inside workings of steroids and what comes about. It ties that in with sports, wrestling, and Arnold. It's tough to give a grade of this since I don't classify it as a movie, but I will say it's pretty good.

I hear it's time to hear the words of The_Freak to see what he's been into. Of course, uncensored and he holds nothing back. You can agree or disagree with his opinion, but it has you interested at least.

The_Freak (7:07:08 PM): Explain this one to me here.
The_Freak (7:07:39 PM): They all think "I'M A FUCKING PRINCESS" shit
The_Freak (7:08:13 PM): You're not a fucking princess, you're a cheap dirty slut smoking unfiltered Camel cigarettes, getting lower back tattoos and dropping out of community college to be a stripper.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: We're going with another recommendation here. This one comes straight from Kristen in Germany, so she gets full credit. She found this Russian chick that is in Germany, but wasn't sure if she had enough pics. I think it's worthy for sure. She's somewhat of a clean dirty I said, but we all know she's filthy underneath. So here we go:

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: We're going to a Quizno's manager and how he takes on a bum that walks in. The bum swings at the manager and then it's lights out. The replay at the end is great to see too.

3 Quick Thangs:

1. Since we're in the spirit, let's try for some Christmas birthdays. We start off with former NFL quarterback Kenny "The Snake" Stabler, 63. Jimmy Buffett, who I've said before that I have no clue why people love him so much, 62. Former NFL running back and American Gladiators announcer Larry Csonka, also 62. Singer Annie Lennox, 54. Baseball's stolen base king, Ricky Henderson turns the big 5-0 and he still has some game left. Fantasia of American Idol fame, 36.

2. It's nothing compared to the weather that Uncle Wilbur is getting out in the state of Washington, but earlier this week it was downright cold here. I know, you people way up north have it much worse, I'm not arguing that. On a sidenote, Wilbur has a few feet of snow out there and the pictures are impressive. I woke up the other day and it was 5 degrees out with some wacky negative wind chill number. I love winter and the snow, but 5 degrees, what can do you do in that mess? Meanwhile, I have my head shaved when it's this cold, I never learn.

3. You get this delivered to you on Christmas Eve. The next blog will feature the following, just to name a few: the annual Christmas Eve bash at my crib, whether or not we'll have a winner for "The Award", Christmas Day itself, a possible Christmas Night movie, and whatever goes down through the weekend as we get near to putting a close to 2008.


Ms. Jazzie said...

Awesome blog! Gotta hit it hard with the slow ppl at the mall! I totally agree...we need traffic lanes in a mall because some people give me attitude. Call me crazy but I am not a big shopper and I hate how my three stores at the mall are always on opposite I must commute and I will commute at a fast pace! Nonetheless killer blog like usual buddy! Bad breath, who likes such thing? Who ever doesnt mind bad breath is because they have it! I am Russian! I finally clicked on your "dirty" hoe of the week... it shoulda been dirty commi instead. Take care!

Brian said...

And to think, another foot of snow on the way tonight and tomorrow in the Spokane area! I'll send more pics Bird, this is gonna get interesting in a hurry