Wednesday, February 17, 2010

High Top Fades, Eskimo Pies, Oreos & Intoixicated Ants

We're back in action and ready to get with it. What do we have in store for the readers this week? I was off work for the entire week, so I should have some things to ramble about, so we'll see what goes down. A quick preview as I normally like to do. I will give my NBA All Star Weekend thoughts, a Dear John review, way too much Call of Duty, stupidly being up till 1:00 in the afternoon, blizzard fun, junk food, and other things that will mix and match, criss and cross. Away we go..

Movie time as that's always an easy place to start. I've been on a roll lately, so I'm back on the grind with my current movies. The latest was one I meant to see a few Fridays ago, but it didn't go down due to the snow. I was out and about that night as you already know, but we had to be sent back to Shinnston as we couldn't get through. Thanks FedEx. Anyways, Tuesday night it was movie time and some say I was taking one for the team. Either way, the movie in question is Dear John. Every girl out there turned into a 12-year old bouncing off the walls from a candy high. Hey, I do that now, so maybe that's not a good analogy. The guys did their part and went along for the ride. I don't mind chick flicks, I've went on record of saying that before. Comedies are by far my favorite movies, but I wasn't opposed to seeing this. I did not read the book though, so my review is strictly on the movie end of things without knowing anything else in the storyline other than previews. Keep that in mind.

A lot of you have went to this too, whether you want to admit or not. Every girl had a Facebook or Twitter ( post with their excitement. That also gave me yet another place to cheaply plug my Twitter account. Facebook I enjoy like most of you just to see what's going on in the area, to get some gossip and kill a lot of time. The past few months, I've been tons more into Twitter though, it's a total blast, at least for me. It makes it a lot better when many in your crew take part in the action. Ok, I was sidetracked there, now back to your regularly scheduled program. I actually liked this movie, it's worth seeing and this is a guy saying it. Maybe it makes me less manly to some that I went, but a lot of guys reading did the same thing, so there ya go. It may have ya breaking down in it, but I held up pretty well. I figured this would be a crying movie, but it wasn't for me, some it was and usually I'm easy to get. The part that got me was when Channing Tatum was at his dad's side when he was in the hospital bed. That had me holding back much more than any of the stuff between Tatum and his chick. As far as the chick, I'll be honest, I think he should've forgotten about her in the end and walked out of the house. That's just my thought, but I'm probably in the minority there. This is worth seeing though. My final grade? I'm giving it 8.1 Afghanistan war stints out of 10. Whip gave it a 8, while IMDB somehow has it at a very low 5.3 as I type this? 5.3, seriously?

Our message board talks about anything and everything as we noted last week. We have a little junk food discussion going in one thread and it may have you thinking. The poll that is up there, Chewy Chips Ahoy versus Oreo. As I type this up, Chips is in the lead in a close one. I voted Oreo and why? Well, one because I love Oreos. Two, I've never tried Chewy Chips Ahoy that I know of. I've tried regular, but not chewy. Apparently the boys don't know what to think that I've never tried these. I guess I better get on that soon and see what the hype is all about. What does DerekHood say on this matter? "oh, Chips Ahoy all the way. If it came right down to it, I could plow through a whole bag at one sitting. Oreos are at best average without milk and even with are a little too much after the first fistful. Maybe if the cream wasn't in there giving you the diabetes it'd be a different ballgame. As it stands, I'm an Ahoy Boy."

Speaking of junk food, I gotta send the thank you props out for the package in the mail the other day. Felisha, I've already talked to you, but you and your mom threw it down this year for the cookies and fudge, no joke. The sprinkled sugar cookies can't be topped and Dad says that's the best fudge he's ever had. I owe ya big, but don't think you want that in the form of cookies, that might turn out disastrous with me getting things going. I can cook fairly well for not doing it as often as I should, but baking I'm sure I'd be a total mess at, wouldn't have a clue. Bucs season is starting soon though, I'm sure I'll see ya around for a few games. You know I'm in for that action, gotta see my boy Akinori Iwamura straight tear things up.

How'd NBA All Star Weekend go? I'm not about to miss that quality TV entertainment. Friday I enjoyed, even if it doesn't get as much hype as the rest of the weekend. That's when the rookies beat the sophomores as it was run and gun ball at it's finest. Rusty Westbrook blew up for 40 points in a losing cause, while Ty Evans and DeJuan Blair did their thing for the kiddies by becoming co-MVPs. It still amazes me how Blair plays that well with no knee cartilage in either knee. My favorite to watch was my boy Brandon Jennings. He was nasty out there, smooth as all gets with a little streetball feel and of course the high top fade, old school style.

Now onto Saturday, the biggie. I haven't missed this in I don't know how long, I can't even remember, seriously. HORSE was somewhat entertaining as compared to last year's debacle. Durantula won again, but Barkley's live commentary on the court more than made up for any down parts. It was pretty impressive to see Durant (already the 3rd best player in the league if you ask me and he's only just starting) and Rondo have the long range shootout, who knew Rondo had that in him? I've ranted on it for a while, but if you're a true NBA fan that doesn't watch many games and that's a lot of people out there unfortunately, do me a favor and watch Durant, he's the real deal and then some. The Skills Challenge, eh. Nash did his thing and I love his charisma. He's great for the game, even if his defense is some of the worst the league has seen, he's still one of the best point guards of our era. Go Pierce go! I personally, even as a Celtics fan didn't give Pierce much hope to win the 3 Point Shootout. I figured he wasn't an off-the-rack shooter and more of a clutch bomber in games. He proved me wrong as I had predicted Steph Curry to win it. I definitely was glad to see Pierce get it, more recognition for the Celts, I'll take it however it comes. To the locals, we need to try this one day with racks just because. The Dunk Contest? Ugh, just beyond brutal. You've all read the reports or even seen the footage, but awful. The fans shouldn't have that vote first of all. DeRozan really won the thing though, not Nate Dizzle. Still one of my favorite weekends of the year and the Sunday game was a great battle as well.

Does this snow ever end out here? This is insane, but I'm one that isn't complaining a bit. I've said it countless times, I love my job, but if I can get paid to sit at home on a snow day, sign me up. I was off all of last week and already have a few days off this week as an added bonus. During that stretch, the earliest I woke up was 11:00. Yep, total bum. It's back to the hours of being up till stupid hours of the day and then doing whatever. The snow wasn't about to keep me off the roads though, I'm all about driving in that mess just because. It also didn't affect any of my workouts, got those in too. Saturday night/Sunday morning was one of those stupid ate up time killers. That night I played Call of Duty for 5 hours and then got back on here around 4 in the morning and stayed up till 1 in the afternoon. I then got a two hour nap. Yes, I'm an idiot. I got in a big amount of COD each of those days off, nothing else was happening.

Speaking of games, let's go to the online version. It might not sound like much to some, but when my boys and I get into online game battles, it ensues into some good trash talk and overall fun. Either we'll never grow up or we're easily entertained. Who am I kidding, the answer is both to that. If it's not Yahoo Graffiti, it is Monopoly on Pogo. You can play up to six people in Graffiti and four in Monopoly. We wish Monopoly would hold more than that, but the way they have their setup is really slick and easy to use. The games usually aren't crazy long is another plus if you're one of those people who are worried about that. In the past two games for me this week I've came in 2nd Place. Still, that's not in the winning column. In those games, not that anyone cares but Corndog and TheAnswer brought home the trophies. If you're not doing much else online, and chances are you aren't right now at the moment, bust out some Monopoly on Pogo.

Before we get to his video, Corndog appears again. He posted this the other night, so I figure it's worth a read for everyone else too: "I just saw a guy almost walk in the womens bathroom at wal mart, it was funny. Then later I saw the same guy standing by the jewelry counter smoking a cigarette. That was a very weird thing to see. The lady told him he wasnt allowed to smoke in the store because this is a smoke free county. Really? Are there counties where its ok to smoke in wal mart?"

Bird's Dirty of the Week: We're hitting up Pharr, Texas this week where everything is big or however that cheesy saying goes. Speaking of Texas, we'd like to wish our boy Bono a Happy 31st today. You can visit him on Twitter at Back to the chick now. She doesn't have any memorable quotes or anything really to laugh at this time. It's not one of those. From opinions of others too, this girl gets it done. Apparently her friends do too, who knows. Anyways, here's this week's girl:

Bird's Video of the Week: Corndog said this one was blog worthy. When Corndog talks, the blog nation listens and at least checks it out. After further review, this is legit and we're going to use it this week. It's the Turtleman! Tons of quotes to use in this thing. Some people have no sense at all, but he's entertainment in his own way. "They think I'm crazy, but they can't help but like me." The rebel indian yell is classic too. Good ol' Kentucky, it's pretty much West Virginia. Sad, but true, these people exist, but you know you're going to watch. He also doesn't smile much since he got his teeth knocked out by a chainsaw.

3 Quick Thangs:

1. A quote from Kasher the Great's Twitter on Monday: "On this date in 2005: YouTube is launched. One of the greatest non-porn sites on the net." Visit Kasher at

2. Pitchers and catchers have reported to baseball camps this week. Oh my, just around the corner! Between my Yanks ready to rock, going to see a good bit of Pirates games this summer as usual, and the two ultra-competitive fantasy baseball leagues I'm in (Chin Music: 30-man dynasty league, 55 man rosters, minors and salaries included, A#BL: 18-man keeper league with the Lobstah gang that is ran by Commish Kasher), I'm started to get excited.

3. Here's some facts to end up on, let them soak in your brain. A snail can sleep for 3 years.. An ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. Uh, that's really a proven fact? No clue, but I found it anyways.. One car out of every 230 made was stolen last year.. The Philadelphia Mint produces 26 million pennies per day. Forest fires move faster uphill than downhill.

Monday, February 08, 2010

Blood, Guts, Snow, & Exploding Toilets

Ok, February is upon us. We have a lot going down this month. One, for all the sappy lovers out there, you get Valentine's Day of course. Two, Super Bowl time which ended yesterday. Three, for the cultural side of things, it's Black History Month. Four, we get one of my favorite weekends of the entire year, NBA All Star Weekend. That's a trip that is on my list one day, mark it down. Outside of that, I promised the usual movie reviews and the action that went down during last weekend's Toughman Contest in Clarksburg. Plus, a biggie just added is the snow blizzard report, a few good stories from Friday night on that. You're already being impatient and wanting me to start, so we'll start to break things down..

All week long, people were freaking out at this big snow we were supposed to get. It's not like we can do anything about it, but some think the world is going to end once a snowflake hits the ground. You better get your milk and bread because you might be locked inside your house for 2 months, please. Anyways, I get let out of work early on Friday, that's always a fun thing. Friday night, it started to bring it down hardcore. Four of us had movie night planned, but two dropped out. I was going to take one for team and see Dear John on opening night. It was the 10:00 showing and Whip and I were going to trek the snow regardless. I'll probably see it later in the week. If Cork doesn't mind me letting the world know that he manned up and saw it on Sunday, he said it wasn't too bad. I personally love to get out in the big snow and just rip through it. Some people freak at the thought of getting their cars in it, but come on. It was really bad, but I didn't have any problems, and that's a fortunate thing.

On the way there, I'll describe some areas for the locals. Going towards the mall, a little bit past the infamous Tate's Fruit Market was our first wreck we came upon. Somehow, a car was practically on its top in the ditch. We couldn't figure out how it was possible they even wrecked like that. He had to have been going like a madman, so props to him for at least not going 2 miles per hour. I guess he was the loser in the end of things though. Speaking of that, I have zero patience when it comes to people who have no clue of driving in the snow. That's one thing I need to work on for sure and then some. So we're driving along Meadowbrook Road and get to an area past the FedEx shop. What do we see? None other than a FedEx truck stranded. He was ditched as well and was waiting on help. He busted out the trusty flashlight and guided us through on our way. So far so good, right?

We're going up the road a bit more and come to where the massage place is at. Then we see yet another FedEx truck. What gives? We're the lead car and not many are behind us. We saw a state cop behind this truck and drove fairly close to it. Maybe I was being an idiot, but the other cars stayed behind a good distance. I just wanted to see what was up. After about a half hour or so of waiting and already being late for the movie, the cop backs down the hill a bit. "Uh, if I were you, I'd back down the hill a bit. If that trucks starts sliding down it, it's not gonna slow down." Probably good advice there. Then a bit later, the driver of the truck comes down the hill. They weren't having any luck towing the FedEx truck up the hill. He comes to talk to us and let us know the deal. He said it'd be at least another half hour because they had to get a bigger tow truck to get him up the hill. He told us we might as well turn around. By that point, it was well past time to go to the movie anyways. We get back into town and half of town had power out. Luckily, it came on a few hours later, so no biggie. My area got about 15 inches, big time, but not as big as some areas on the East such as blog contributor The_Freak who got about 30 inches and Philly got bombed too. Bring on the snow! Apparently, we have more coming on Tuesday and Wednesday, who knows.

Speaking of breaking things down, faces were broken, bodies were in shambles, and you always end up with a great time. Where's that? The 31st Annual Toughman Contest at the Nathan Goff Armory of course. Friday night has been a tradition for me to hit up for quite a while now. That's when you get to see it all. There were nearly fifty fights that night, how can you put a price on that? Plus, you get to see the bums who have no business being in the ring, then come in and get their block knocked off. It's always interesting to see the guys who think they are big and bad and then they get punished once they are in the ring. This was the first year in a while that I didn't get floor seats, I tried to get tickets just a bit too late. Either way though, I still nabbed some good seats, first row of bleachers. However, there were some not so good parts of these seats we had too. Cork and Spank joined the festivities with me, as I'm not sure why a lot more of my buddies don't get into this. It's one of our favorite things of the year.

Anyways, back to our seats. Behind me sat a dude that was every bit of 400 pounds, I kid you not. 400 is actually being generous, but I'll be nice for the blog. When you sit in bleacher seats, your back is going to become obliterated by night's end regardless. Then put a guy that size directly behind you to where his gut is literally hanging all on your back and it's not pleasant. Basically I paid to sit in a third of a seat as I was bent over most of the night with my neck and back getting sore as the night progressed. Not only that, but it seemed that 75% of the people here do nothing but get up and down, walk around, and be knuckleheads. For the entire night, I missed one round when I made a quick trip to the concession stand. I'm there to watch fights, call me crazy. Cork and I about lost our voice screaming at these idiots who would walk right in front of us and spill their beer everywhere. Spank was probably shaking his head, thinking he'd have to eventually protect us dorks for running our mouths. Hey, we just wanted a good view. Luckily, we were tame and didn't push anyone's buttons too bad, but it was fairly annoying.

I'm going to start by going into a crowd fight before I even mention the ring wars. To set up the scene, this was a few rows back from us, diagonally. I hear something going on and of course everyone looks in that area. The next thing I see is this dude doing ground and pound and just crushing another guy's face in with punches. He was laying the hammer and not in the porn sense of the nature, we're going fists this time. Not long after, the cops were all about it and did their job to break these guys apart. As they walked the one dude down, he was bleeding like Ric Flair, it was a mess and flowing like a faucet. It was dripping over the stands, on people, you name it. I can't make this up if I tried. They actually had to come over and mop up that section since blood was everywhere. You never know what you're going to see in this crowd. For those who have been to other Toughman Contests in the area, I've said last year, the type of crowd at Clarksburg and Morgantown are totally different worlds. Morgantown is more wide open with seating and less of a redneck/racist feel to the night. I've ranted before on how racist people around here become one of my huge things that get me fired up. You can't change people's opinions and it was in the air that night.

How'd the action in the ring go? It was pretty solid. With that many fights in a night, it's nonstop the entire time. As soon as one fight is over, the next fight's matchup is already waiting ringside to jump in. The kid who won the heavyweight, he also won last year too and is only 19 years old. Dude is 6'7"/260 and is the real deal. There weren't as many knockouts this year as compared to years past, so that was somewhat of a bummer. It does make it fun when you know a decent bit of the guys that are in these things. All in all, it's always worth the money to attend if you've never been. You see some characters and it's definitely a fun experience, at least I think so.

The ring girls you ask? I'm rarely ever much of a big fan of these in our area at least. Hear me out. Maybe I'm too picky or unlike most guys, but these girls are all the same to me. They're 90 pounds with ribs sticking out and no bodies to them. The anorexic chicks, someone else can go that route. The one we liked was some ethnic girl and I wasn't quite sure of what ethnicity to be honest. The other three didn't quite hit the spot, at least for me. Another girl didn't have an outfit all night that actually fit her. That'd usually be a good thing, but her bikini bottoms were baggy on her and she didn't have anything in there anyways for it to form to, thumbs down. Baggy bikini girl also got frustrated late in the night or so it seemed to us. The last hour anyways, she'd just do a quick walk around the ring and nothing else. Seeing some of these girls try to dance is always good entertainment though. I call it how I see it. Props to them for getting up there, but we need a variety of girls if you ask me, not the same cookie cutters, but what do I know?

Ok, now it's time to talk movies once again. Get your popcorn ready as Terrell Owens would say. He would've crushed Jerry Rice's records if he ever had a good quarterback with him, or so he recently mentioned. What's the movie of choice this time? It'd be When In Rome. This one is a quick 90-minute movie and I actually enjoyed it. It's a ton better than The Lovely Bones from the previous week if that counts for anything. Kristen Bell was looking great in this one and played her part just fine. The people that made it for me in this movie were Napoleon Dynamte and Dax Shepard. I thought each of them were hilarious and if you saw their characters in this movie, you'd probably think the same. The storyline is easy to follow, although predictable. It's nothing you'd have to give deep thought to while watching, it's fairly relaxing. My final grade for this movie, I'm going to give it 7.7 large buckets of popcorn out of 10.

This next story was brought to our attention from field reporter Kasher. He's always finding some quality stuff for our message board. You know you want to be part of it and I've talked about it countless times over the years. That means it's time for a cheap plug, it's what I do best. Of course we talk about all sports and have some of the best sports fans the interwebs can come up with. If you're not a sports fan, that's fine, we have a ton for you in there too. We have an Anything Goes forum, one on Music/Movies/TV/Video Games, and a Girls forum. The Anything Goes forum is enough to keep anyone busy. You name it, we talk about it. It's Lobstah, The Balls Empire. Get a login name and wait for TMac to approve and you're good to rock: So to the story I wanted to mention from Kasher. You knew I'd get back to it eventually. It is about a woman who is suing a train company after a toilet explodes. I kid you not. The opening paragraph has me cracking up. Maybe it's my middle school type humor and nobody else will like it, but I enjoyed it. Here is a quick preview: "A woman is suing Metra claiming the contents of a toilet 'exploded; and splattered her as she rode a Joliet-bound train." Yep, splattered. Here is the entire article for your enjoyment: Thanks again goes out to our buddy Kasher.

I bashed the Saints "fans" for a bit now. I never had a problem with the team. It's still funny to me how you never hardly saw a Saints fan in your life and then the past few weeks they're out of the woodwork and say they've been there the whole ride. I guess you get that with every team that starts winning, so I can't fault the system. I will admit here that my prediction was way off. I never gave the Saints credit all season and didn't think their D would hold up. I figured Manning would just pick them apart and mangle them something awful. Yep, I was wrong on that one. Somewhere out there, Frankie Saporito is partying in the streets. He's the only true Saints guy in my area that I can think of. Frankie even has a Saints tat, gotta respect that. Good to see a team that has never won it before go down and win it though. I was pulling for Manning a bit since I always felt like he's done it the right way, isn't a knucklehead, and just does his thing. Apparently a lot of people hate him and his bro though, maybe because they (he?) gets too much credit, hard to tell. The Saints won me over though when after one touchdown the players were dancing on the sidelines. What were they doing? I'll let our boy DerekHood tell us from a text he sent, "I think the Saints were just beating the beat back there coming back from the commercial." That's right, they were fist pumping, Jersey Shore style.

Bird's Dirty of the Week: 585 total pics. Is that enough for you? We get a big variety from this college chick in Indiana. What doesn't she like? We'll ask her and find out, "don't like *liars, *backstabbers, *two faced people, players, or *fakes. I hate when people try to be someone their not to please everyone else, be yourself who cares what people think. I don't put up with girls who think they are bad asses... Because more then likely they aren't. I think rumors are stupid, they SUCK. But the people who start them AND believe them are dumb and all I have to say is thanks for making me the center of your world!!!!! Drama is so overrated it's not a part of my life now that you're gone.. I LOVE how when girls get jealous because of what I have that they can't have they talk shit, I kinda just sit back and laugh bc if you know me you'll realize I don't care, and if you don't KNOW ME, you might think things that aren't right. But if you take the time to believe it and not the time to get to know me to know it's not true you're simply a waste of time!" That's a book, but that's what she said anyways, so we might as well post on it. Here ya go people,

Bird's Video of the Week: I had a Jersey Shore vid to post this week that is getting huge reviews, but I'll hold off onto that for later use. I talk enough about that show anyways. No worries, I'll get enough of that in soon, I'm always in Shore mode with those characters. Instead, to keep with the snow theme, we'll go to a vid that the great ManDingo shared with all to view. It's the Meteoreologist Freakout, not to be confused with The_Freak, although this was in his area. "Oh boy. I'm AccuWeather meteorologist Jim Kosek. Our paralyzing, crippling, RECORD BREAKING STORM COMES TODAYYYY!" "14 to 22 inches of SNOWWWWWWW!" His thing on shoveling the snow is awesome. This guy is great, trust me and watch for yourself..

3 Quick Thangs:

1. My favorite Super Bowl commercials this year? There were quite a few I liked. Doritos straight killed it though, no comparisons if you ask me. They nailed all of theirs (funeral, little boy talking to mom's boyfriend, in the gym, etc). Another I liked was Coke doing its thing with The Simpsons. There were definitely some cheesy ones out there, but those were a few I was into.

2. NBA All Star Weekend is upon us. Saturday night the action begins! I can barely contain myself. It's right up there on days of the year I love, to go along with the NBA Draft (greatest day of the year for me, hands down), the EDDFL Fantasy Draft, A#BA Fantasy Draft, and NBA Opening Night. Do we see a pattern here? The day that Call of Duty comes out as well as Christmas, each Monday at 9:00 for WWE RAW, and Opening Day MLB are high on the list too.

3. Time to end with some quick facts. Did you know that one quarter of the bones in your body are in your feet? How about the fact that you'll eat 35,000 cookies in your lifetime? The average American/Canadian drinks about 600 pops (sodas) a year. More people use blue toothbrushes than red ones.