Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Yesterday Was Once Tomorrow

This week's blog title comes courtesy of The_Freak, who will be featured later on the blog as well, so the props are sent in his direction..

This blog looks to be one of those that shoots at you from random angles and we hit on some different topics. I've been on a movie kick lately, so we'll get several reviews along that line. Also, we'll touch base on some fat boy food. Along with that, you'll read more of my rants on smokers, lazy drivers, and bright red lipstick. Who knows what else we'll throw in here, that's why I hope you can stay tuned in right until the very end. Besides, what else do you have to do? Not much since you're in here, so get all relaxed, crank the Christmas music, and get yourself lost into some random bum's (me) readings. Giddy up!

It's time for yet another movie review. This is becoming fairly steady, so hopefully I can get back into the movie watching deal. Here's one that I wanted to see in the theater, like last week's Transporter 3, but I figured I'd just watch it at home instead. That one would be Sex Drive. If you're into crude comedies with not a lot of plot and that will have you laughing the entire time, you're in for a treat. These are my kind of movies. I know they're not for everyone, but if you are a fan of Superbad, American Pie, Euro Trip, and those types of sexual comedies, go check this one out. The older brother of the main character will grow on you. You hate him for most of the movie and then he changes and there's a twist thrown in there that you might not have guessed from the beginning with him. After a while, an actual storyline does play out and it's a smooth movie to get into and be able to keep up with. Hilarious stuff here, so based on that I'm going to give it 7.6 barrels of laughs out of 10. We're on a roll with some movies that have delivered as of late. Give me some recommendations if you want and I'll see if I can get around to watching.

Why stop with that? I watched another this week as well. I've been wanting to see it for a while, but just now got around to it. That'd be Never Back Down. It's an MMA movie that you've all probably seen the previews for when it came out. When I first saw the previews, I wasn't sure if it'd be cheesy and make an embarrassment of what MMA really is or if it could deliver. After hearing a few people tell me it wasn't bad, I figured why not give it a shot and see for my very own eyes. It is a very predictable movie, but don't let that stop you from watching it. I compare it to Bloodsport from Van Damme or even Karate Kid, that type of storyline with the fight tournaments. I was interested the whole time and thought it was well done for what it was. I think dudes and chicks both will get into this, even if you don't know much on the whole MMA scene. I'm not sure how much credibility can be given to the male actors (Sean Faris and Cam Gidandet), but they surprised me and played their roles well, even if they are so-called pretty boys by some and won't fit the stereotypical MMA look. Cam has the "bad guy" vibe down. On the chick side, Amber Heard looks pretty nice in this movie. To end things, we'll give it a rank of 7.1 armbars out of 10.

I was talking to TyLaw the other night, one of my Canadian buddies of our Lobstah crew and a frequent member of #basketball back in the day. He sends me a link to this story that is probably made up, but regardless, it had me at least checking it out for a few. It's just a juvenile story that if you can laugh at the movies such as Sex Drive, you might appreciate it. As I always say, I still laugh at the cliche jokes we had during our middle school days and all of that. I guess it was growing up being too big of a Beavis and Butthead freak and that mentality sticks with me. I have to bite my tongue a lot at work when the little kiddies joke around and in my head I think it's hilarious, but you know, I gotta play that one off. We all have a bit of a kid in us, always. This story, whether true or not since it seems far fetched, but we'll throw it in regardless:

I'm a junk food freak as most know. One of these days I'll end up to be 400 pounds, but luckily that hasn't kicked in as of yet. I guess that's why I try to keep the workouts and cardio going on a regular basis. The other night I was craving some ice cream. The funny thing is that it was about 25 degrees out, but my mind was set on Dairy Queen. I went to pick up one of my favorite Blizzard flavors. I loaded up on a large Chocolate Dipped Strawberry Blizzard. If you haven't tried this beast yet, you're missing out. If you don't want to take my recommendation on that, I guess that's all on you, but don't say I didn't warn you. However, if you're a health guru, this one isn't for you. The large I had was composed of 1080 calories, 46 grams of fat, 149 grams of carbs (125 of those from sugars), and 20 grams of protein. The sad part is that I got a large and it wasn't enough. I've said before, I'm usually not a big eater, but when it comes to stuff like this, I can tear it up like no other. I mentioned that about Posey's Lay's in a recent blog. Hopefully the high metabolism stays in effect as I creep up in age, but I'm sure it'll end quick enough.

I was watching the local news the other night and thought I was hearing things. The story says that there's apparently this program in plan that is offering free diapers to mothers to be. The catch? This group will give free diapers away to soon-to-be mothers who stop smoking while pregnant. Everyone reading knows how much I go off on smokers in general. I'm usually laid back and don't try to offend people, but smokers I don't hold much back on. If you want to smoke, go for it I guess, that's up to you, but if you're pregnant and doing it? That just shows what kind of sad shape my state is in. That's straight up garbage right there and you lose all respect with me. Go ahead and ruin yourself if you're that much of an idiot, but not when you have a baby on the way. Remember the newspaper numbers I spit out not long ago and the ones dealing with Huntington? Same kind of deal here. What next? Are we going to give money to crackheads and pillheads who suddenly stop? Hey, way to go druggies, thumbs up for getting off the meth only to get back into that mess a few months later. I do hope druggies can beat their problems, but you know where I'm coming from here in most cases. Maybe not to that point, but back to the pregnant chicks who smoke. In all honesty, what are you thinking?? No wonder so many kids don't make it in today's world, they're done from the start and it's not even their fault.

Ok, I don't get it. I've been doing this blog for over 4½ years now. I might have even rambled about this topic before, who knows. If so, I'll ramble on it again. You know what bugs me till I can barely take it anymore? Lazy people at stores, such as Wal-Mart. What do I mean? Ok, I'll set it up for you. Let's say you're driving along and want to do some shopping. The place is packed and the lot is practically full. The "lazy" person is going to drive down 8 aisles as slow as possible to find a great spot. Seriously, this gets me boiling, and I'm usually a calm dude almost all of the time. When I go, I don't care how far away I park, I just want a spot. I'm not about to drive down on that bottom row where the pedestrians supposedly have the right away. Please help me if I ever get that lazy to where I have to drive around like these idiots do for 10 minutes until they find that golden spot. Get out of here you bums, no wonder our state is always getting cracked on with those overweight numbers and things I write about. I'm sure this happens everywhere too. There's always a time for lazy, but just get in any spot and walk to the store. It's not like you're 5 miles away from the entrance. Plus, you can get out easier if you're farther away and don't have to put up with these people driving around clueless like they're in a coma or they think they'll get $100 if they find the closest spot.

Since I'm on the movie kick, I might as well go with another topic along that line. Are you one of those who gets into going to a Christmas night movie? I never used to growing up, but Cork got me on this tradition over the past years and now it's something I usually go for. This year it seems like mostly a bunch of junk out there, but I'm sure I'll still hit something up. If I had to pick something right now, I guess it'd have to be Bedtime Stories with Adam Sandler. It looks like the Sandler of old of him doing the pointless comedy spiel rather than him trying to be all serious, which I never bought. The Spirit looks so weird, but I'm sure people will be creaming to see it for some reason. It has Samuel L. Jackson, Scarlett Johansson with the chances she could fall out of her top at any time which is always good times (hey, I'm just being honest), and Eva Mendes to name a few. The previews just look strange, I dunno. Maybe I'm judging that one wrong. Tom Cruise is usually a good actor, but I'm not sure what to make of Valkyrie either. I think it'll be a good movie though due to him coming through more times than not (even if he's in my personal pick for worst movie ever in Vanilla Sky) and not having many duds. Marley and Me has Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson, but I haven't even seen a preview of this. I figure it's some sort of chick flick, which I doubt me and my boys will be seeing that night, even if I'm an admitted chick flick fan, you just don't do that with your boys. Speaking of Aniston, we have Brad Pitt out that day too in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, another I haven't seen previews for. I see it's a near 3-hour movie though, ugh. There's your quick rundown of Christmas movies, get out there that night, nothing better to do. Also, 5 NBA games are on that day, you serious? I won't be hitting up the movies until later since 5:00 features the Celtics taking on the Lakers, how much better can Christmas Day get for me? I'm getting cold chills just thinking of that one. It's 1985 all over again.

Speaking of Christmas, on Wednesday evening I did a good bit of my shopping. It's not done by any means, but I do it in stretches so I won't have to go too wild at once. It was a madhouse out there, but I didn't mind. It seemed that every 2 steps you'd make, you'd run into someone you know and end up talking for a while. I kind of enjoy that unless I'm in a big hurry, I'll ramble on and talk to whoever and can make a conversation on the spot in most times. My buddies always laugh that wherever we go, I end up talking to someone that I know, or even out of nowhere, talking to some total stranger and getting something going. It's not to the point of The Governor Clark Riley who literally knows everyone, which always impresses me, but I try to follow in his steps. As I always say, at least say hey to people, you might be surprised the stories you can get from the randoms.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: We're going to the Boogie Down Bronx for this dirty. The subtitles for some of her pics are just as entertaining as the pics themselves. Plus, she has a zillion pics to go through, that's always a cure for boredom, whether they're hot or not. As I was just about to post the blog, I get a message from Arizona Jas. She comes through at the buzzer this time. So this week? We're going to double up and go with not one, but two!

Arizona Jas: i found a nasty dirty..
Arizona Jas: she's bad
Me: Mangled elbows and all.
Me: Ouch.
Arizona Jas: for sure
Arizona Jas: lol
Me: Tits showing on one.
Me: That chick ain't right.
Arizona Jas: she is a dirty though
Me: What's that??
Me: That's not even human.
Arizona Jas: whats what?
Arizona Jas: too true
Arizona Jas: you like it ;)
Arizona Jas: what?
Me: ..That's what it says.
Arizona Jas: hahah fail
Arizona Jas: anyway, she surpasses dirty
Arizona Jas: shes down right nasty

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: I always like asking the crew for ideas. This week, I asked The_Freak if he had any ideas for a video to throw in.

The_Freak (8:18:12 PM): You should throw a hockey fight on there.
The_Freak (8:18:16 PM): The crazy one
The_Freak (8:18:19 PM): From like 94
Me (8:18:30 PM): I'm down for that.
The_Freak (8:18:38 PM): I'll get it for you

3 Quick Thangs:

1. A quick basketball note. You know I can ramble on this for days, but I won't bore most of you. To the NBA fans out there, if you haven't checked out NBATV (greatest channel ever) on Tuesday nights starting at 7:00 EST, you're missing out. The Lobstah guys hear me talk about this a lot, but in studio you get Gary Payton and Chris Webber as they rant and rave with Ahmad Rashad. I was never a CWebb guy when he played, but he's great on this show. GP makes it though. If you're into the Barkley type stuff on TNT, then you'll love GP here, it's that good. I wouldn't steer you in the wrong direction, especially when it comes to NBA, my passion in life.

2. Today's fact to feast on? Camels have three eyelids to protect them from the sand. Want another? The average woman consumes six pounds of lipstick in her lifetime. I've wrote about it before, and not that anyone cares, but a big thumbs down to really bright red lipstick. That's bad times coming from a guy's perspective, but maybe some are into that.

3. If you're on the Christmas card list, I sent most of those out on Monday. Many by the time they read this will already have it in their mailbox. Others, from the crazy distances away, you'll get yours, just be patient. Just randomly to name a few places on the list, we hit up Arkansas, Washington, Germany, several spots in Canada, Arizona, Maryland, and Alabama. That's just a small portion. It takes a while to get them all together, but I get into sending them every year out of tradition. I guess I have too much time on my hands.


Anonymous said...

That fight was from 2005 I think, for the record. - The_Freak

Kristen said...

I'll try to get your card out on Monday, but it'll SO be late. Sorry about that...but it's coming from Germany, so quality, right? :)
Me and my girl here and eating up your 2 for 1 special on dirty hoes this week. Good times as always.
Have fun.

Wes said...

Beegis! This is the first I have ever seen of your 4 and a half year blog! I just wanted to say that I totally agree with the smoking part but I can one up you sir. I recently had a female come into my bar. Not only was she smoking Ed, but she tried ordering alcohol. Since I reserve the right to not serve someone for whatever reason, I quickly refused. Upon refusal she quickly became irate! She then stormed out. Thinking to myself, that didn't do much good because I know she is just going to the neighboring bar to get her fix. That is just the kind of ignorance I have no tolerance for! On another note... I also share the despise for the WalMarters! That reminds me of another group of people that I also don't like and that would be the group of overweight people that have handicap stickers! These are the people that hate to walk and distance or do anything that might burn a calorie. Seriously? You need a handicap sticker so that you can park up front so you don't have to work. This isn't a handicap, its ridiculous. Not only that, who is giving them these parking passes? I mean honestly? I understand if there is a thyroid problem or something of the medical situation. I have a crazy idea though. Stop putting fourth all the effort into making this a handicap and jog somewhere! Hell, start small and walk somewhere! Stop riding your damn carts through WalMart, grab a cart, and take a stroll. Now I'm starting to rant and I apologize! Just wanted to say I enjoyed it and I will be looking forward to future ones! -Wes-