Sunday, January 27, 2008

Are You Tough Enough??

We're back for what will be the last post of January. It's 34 degrees right now as I type this, a big heat wave from the weather we got here last week. I'm a cold weather guy for sure, one of those weirdos, but I realize 34 is still way cold for most. With that in mind, get a big heaping cup of hot chocolate, stay in the house all day, and check out the latest from the world of my blog. In this one we get some good stories from this weekend's Toughman Contest, Idol, Rob & Big, a guaranteed way to clear your sinuses, movie reviews, and who knows what else.

Are you tough enough?? Yep, that's the famous question in my area around this time of year. Friday night I hit up the 29th annual North Central WV Toughman Contest. If you're in the area and have never been, you are truly missing out on a crazy, yet fun experience. You get your money's worth and then some when you hit up this action. Along for the ride on this trip is my boy Spank and we had real nice seats. Our seats were on the stage, so we were away from the crowds where people were sitting on top of each other and dripping sweat all night. In my opinion, Friday night is where it's at. That's when you get a lot of mismatches and guys who frankly have no business inside a boxing ring. The event started at 7:30 and we got out of there around midnight. I'm guessing there were at least 40 different fights. In a note, this is not a place you want to take your chick to because that's an easy fight starter.

Now to set the tone, especially for the ones reading outside of WV. Most of the time, we try to stay away from the typical WV stereotype, but this building brings it back in time. 80% of the place, if not more, was total white trash. Mix that in with serving alcohol and it's an absolute madhouse, a la The Madhouse of Bird33 you are reading. Anyways, 10 minutes into being there, I already had beer spilled on me, but that's part of the game. A lot of fun is in the crowd itself, you get just as much going on there as you do inside the ring. Take this example for one. I was one row behind the best crowd fight of the night. These two drunken chicks who were obliterated were part of the festivities. One claimed the other stole her scarf. Weird already, right? The next thing I know, right in front of me, this chick picks up her chair, slams it down, kicks another down and then slams down another. It was on! The entire place turns to our section and is going nutty. Then the chicks started duking it out, the fighters run over to watch and then security finally breaks it up. You'd think the chicks would be immediately thrown out of the building. Come on, this is WV, think again. The security guy let them stay in the same area the rest of the night, they were 2 seats away from each other. And you think I'm kidding you.

Another interesting thing was the girl selection of the night. I'm talking absolutely brutal. I saw just a few girls in the entire place that I thought actually looked good. The rest were tatted up drunks who were making fools of themselves. I'll pass those off to someone else. But, the ring girls had to be very hot, right? Guess again. The theme with that each year is that at a local bar, they get all the local dirties to get in the contest. They narrow it down to four for the weekend show. Out of those four, one was smokin' hot, just not even on the level of girls in my area. The other three, it looked like they got into the ring for 12 rounds, and that's as nice as I can be on those. We had this one chick who was probably 6'0"/110 maybe, crazy anorexic looking and with the worst ass I've maybe ever seen. Well, not sure how I can judge it since it was flat as a board. The story with her is that she took her top off at the bar competition to make it to the Final Four. She should keep it on. Then we had another chick that Spank called Peg Leg. How so? As far as dirty stripper looking girls, the worst dancer I've seen. She'd come out for her round card duties and do the same thing all night long. What she would do is kinda bounce on her legs and not really bend, with her legs being straight. Then Spank wondered if these girls' parents were in the crowd tonight, hah. Where else can you get the truth told to you about the Toughman Contest? Forget the local paper's writeup, you get the fans view here.

The fight part of the night though, good stuff. Of course you had your bums who would get in, some of them half drunk. Those guys got rocked. The cardio shape most of these guys were in, embarrassing. I guess I have to give them credit for having the balls to get out there though, that's something. Our seats were right next to the area where the boxers were at between fights. We would get some good stories and knew some of the fighters, so they'd fill us in on anything going down. One of my favorite things of the fight section was the second fight of the night. It reminded me of wrestling in that the guy gets popped in the face, and then bounces off the ropes. As he bounces back, his opponent at full force just destroys him into what looked like a near coma, out. There were probably a good ten fights where the guy was getting beat down so bad that he tapped out and quit. Once that happens, the redneck crowd hounds them big time with boos and cusses him like a dog. Last through what you can, you can't tap in a toughman, get with it. Another interesting thing is the kiddies that just turned 18 and think they can whip the world. You all remember them in high school. So they get this bright idea to enter the contest. In most cases, it's pure punishment they receive from older veteran fighters. They bring their posse to cheer in the crowd and then end up walking out with their head down, facing reality.

I know a lot reading this aren't big Idol fans. I guess you'll just have to deal and read through my thoughts for the next few months. I make it interesting enough that I keep the updates coming. Tuesday night's show was the San Diego crew. Tatiana is way hot and is the first to advance. Simon says she's obnoxious, but good. Then we get a single father named Perrie. He's 27 and his wife was shot down a few years ago. He rocked out Boyz II Men and was the best of Tuesday night in my opinion. Then we get an Aussie named Michael who does some Otis Redding. Simon says he's like a white soul singer and advances him. Valerie is this 20-year old Mariah Carey freak and she makes fun of past years' bums. She claims she won't be one as well, but she turned out to be a mess. "The only resemblance to Mariah Carey is if you left her CD out in the sun for one year and played it."- Simon. Monique butchers Whitney Houston and keeps trying to sing different songs. She breaks down crying. Her buddy, Chris, who works with her, he's also horrible and tries to keep singing. Samantha is this hottie that comes in with her sis. They both are obsessed with Simon and tell him he's really hot. Simon invites the sis to come vote with them and she sits on his lap. The judges were impressed with the Samantha girl and both sisters hug Simon.

Day 2 of San Diego and we start it off with a recurring character. In Season 5, he was the Statue of Liberty Guy. He's auditioned in 10 cities and fails yet again. Alberto is this weird shy guy and wants to feel free. He makes his own song and you can barely hear him. Simon says it's probably the most depressing song he's ever heard. David is this 16-year old kid who had a paralyzed vocal cord a few years ago. He says he's recovered and the judges end up loving him. Irish Carly on Season 5 was disqualified after they voted her through due to not renewing her visa. She has an arm sleeve tat (I'm not a big tat fan, but something about arm sleeve tats make a chick look mean and not to be messed with) and her man has his entire face tatted up. She gets 3 yes votes and is off to Hollywood.

South Carolina is Night 2. Rashard with a big fro and he says they call him the Black Clay Aiken. He doesn't make it. Deanna from Kellie Pickler's town. She didn't make it either. Crystal and Randy (a bum, not Jackson) met on an Idol message board and come to audition together. They do a song together and it's rough. Michelle and Jeffery, an over the top sis/bro duo. Both advance, the bro is real good. Cheerleader chick talks about abstinence. Simon says people are going to find her very annoying. "I think you have mad potential. Mad potential!"- Randy.

Day 2 of SC. Lyndsey, an Air Force pilot starts out this group. Aretha (named after Aretha Franklin) says she stops crowds with her singing. Simon says she murdered the song and the crowds disappear. Judges all didn't like it, but I thought she did fine. Josh puts way too much yelling and screaming in his song and it's a mess. He says the show is fake and rigged. Oliver was to audition one day, but his wife had to go into labor as he was in line. He got another chance and comes in with the chick and baby. I thought he was great, but I guess that's why I'm not a judge because they all told him no. Go figure.

Rob & Big this week, very good. Much better than Week 2. This week's theme was the mini horse competition. They want to bring flare to it by getting outfits and the whole nine yards. Mini is out after they sent him to boarding school, but his behavior is worse since he's been back. "Ain't nobody riding to the mini horse show with their mini in the back seat!"- Rob. They then start up a 400-mile excursion to get to this show. Rob pays some random chick $100 to watch Mini and Meaty (the dog) while they go off to ride dune buggies for a bit. After that, they each hit up a couples mud bath out of nowhere and act like kids. Seriously, these guys get paid to hang out and do absolutely nothing. A pro horse person said their horse was ghetto and needed its hair fixed to be allowed in the competition. They get cowboy outfits with rhinestones. Mini didn't want to run as much in the middle, but they still say he's #1. They end up getting an 8th Place ribbon for Mini G as they were calling him. Thumbs up to the episode, it's worth checking out on the website if you didn't see on TV. Next week, they try to get Meaty in some ads.

Anyone out there have really bad sinuses? I have the solution for you. This was a recommendation from my Aunt Susie, so I figured I'd give it a try. It couldn't hurt, that's for sure. The product is called the NetiPot. It basically looks like a little flower pot, except you fill it up with warm water and these salt packets. It's a strange concept because you put it up one side of your nose and it drains out the other. I'm telling you though, it opens you up immediately and is easy to use. Don't knock it till you try it because now I'm hooked and you'll be the same once you give it a try:

It's time to gripe about something. You know what makes me livid? It's these geeks who have their phone or mp3 players attached to their ears. I don't get it. You know what I mean, the ones that clip onto their ear. You see people in the mall with them on, in their cars, etc. I know it's hands free and all, but come on. Basically, that is saying to the rest of the people looking at them, "Hey, look at me! I'm starving for attention!" Maybe I don't get the purpose and they are actually worth having, but these people look like fools out there. I can't be the only person who thinks that way.

Saturday night, it was movie time in Morgantown. Rambo! If you're a fan of the old Rambo movies, you're going to like this. I enjoyed it a lot, even if the acting and storyline weren't detailed. Going in, you know exactly what you're going to get though. Pure action, killing nonstop, and total violence. I'm going to rate this movie a 7.25, go check it out. In attendance for the movie was Cork, Spank, and myself. After that, we hit up IHOP with the same trio as well as Cork's girl Kristin. I tried a new combo they have and it rocks. Strawberry Banana French Toast Triangles. I'm talking excellent.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: Props for this one goes to my girl Jas in Arizona. Also, Answer said last week's ho wasn't worthy enough since she was from Australia, who knows. Hopefully this one is dirty enough: I see now she has it private though and it does he no justice, but she did have some trashy pics up earlier in the week before it went private, doh. Here's an other just to double up:

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: This is a video courtesy of Duce that was posted in Lobstah, our world famous message board. Kasher says it has to be staged and I figure he's probably right, but it's worth seeing for the short clip:

3 Quick Thangs:

1. Let's try some birthdays for Monday, January 28th. We have some garbage in this one. None of these are even close to big time stars, but we'll go through it anyways. Singer Sarah McLachlan, 40. See, I told you that it's gonna be a rough one. Mo Rocca, some guy who thinks he's funny and is on all of those VH1 shows, 39. Singer Brad Paisley, 36. Actor Joaquin Phoenix, he's doing it for his 34th. Who names their kid Joaquin? Former Celtic Tony Delk, he's also 34. I only put him in here since I met him before, no biggie. American Idol fro boy, Justin Guarini, 30. Backstreet Boy Nick Carter, 28. And last, we have Elijah Wood, actor that is now 27.

2. On Friday night/Saturday morning, I went to bed at 11:30 AM. Yep, I know. All week before I had been going to bed at a normal time for myself and then I pull that off. Oh well, I'll rock it out and continue doing my thing.

3. Random fact from The_Freak: AJ's Steakhouse in Grinnell, Iowa sells a 205 ounce sirloin called the Big Kahuna.

1 comment:

TheAnswer said...

Not a bad blog.. just wondering why there was no breakdown of The Gauntlet.. still behind on your CT fix?