Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Can of Ass Whip

Today's subject comes from The_Freak, courtesy of Santino Marella on RAW this past week.

You know what I like? It's when I gear up for a blog and have a bunch of topics to break down. The only tough thing about that is how much space to give to each topic and better yet, decide what topics to put at the top of the post. If I start out the wrong way, half the people are going to get bored and find something else to look at online. Give it a chance, you can put away the porn for a few minutes, we all gotta take a break every now and then. As I always say, there's something in here for everyone, we go worldwide. Time to giddy up..

It's time to jam like no other. That's right, I loaded up on Guitar Hero III for the Wii last week. If you're a fan of the older ones, you need this one because it delivers. 70+ songs and the track list is unreal, some very good choices from today's era and also hits of old. I think I'm a good Guitar Hero player, but nothing amazing. Some of the YouTube videos on people playing is just insane, I love watching that stuff. Also, Slash is involved with this one, so it's legit. I played Metallica's One last night and it's a chore. It wore me out, but when you get done playing it, if you don't get booed off the stage, you're jacked up. Yeah, I realize me and my buddies are nearly 30 years old and spend our time bugging our eyes out on Guitar Hero, but we could be doing much worse. It's way addicting. While reading a message board on GHIII, I read a thing that one dude played 14 hours straight and then had to go work 2 jobs after that. Then another had to ice his hand down from playing so much. That cracks me up good, but it's worthy. The game gets my stamp of approval. Go buy it now if you have a Wii, 360, PS3, and PS2. On a sidenote, as I bought GHIII, I reserved Super Mario Galaxy. It comes out in about a week and looks smooth. Mario has been around for ages and in almost every case, the game is as advertised, you can't go wrong.

Last year, I hit up movies all the time. This year, not so much unfortunately. Saturday night I was due though, so I went with my boy Spank to see American Gangster. I'm a big Denzel fan and his movies are always quality, so maybe I'm biased. Anyways, an unbelievable movie that is a must see. The plot is an actual true story and if you know a little about it, the movie will go into it even more. A funny thing we laughed about was how some parents were bringing their kids to this movie. We saw a couple bring in 2 girls that looked to be about 8 years old. The very first scene, before the title even appears, someone gets their head blown off. After that it gets mean and f-bombs galore, good times. Still, what idiot parents are out there. They'll see that stuff soon enough anyways, but take em to some kiddie movie. I went on a tangent there, but make sure you go see this movie. For the rap and R&B fans, you'll get to see parts done by Common, T.I., and Anthony Hamilton. So far, within 5 minutes of your time that I've taken to read this, I've recommended buying GHIII and seeing Denzel be a straight up ruthless gangsta. You're still on his side all movie, even though he plays a "bad" guy. Russell Crowe does a fine job in this movie too.

A few weeks ago was the epic A#BA Draft. For those that aren't on the up and up, that's the #basketball 20-man keeper fantasy NBA league. Yes, you read that right. 20 people in this league, it's the most competitive online league out there, bar none. The NBA fan base seems like it dwindles down each season. I know in my area, it's basically composed of the 12 dudes in the EDDFL you read about last week, my money league that I run. Outside of that, nobody around here as a clue about NBA, it's a sad thing, but I'm not about to let it die. The passion I have for the NBA has always been top notch. You're also probably wondering what my squad is going into this season. The first five dudes are my keepers and after that is what I went with on Draft Day. Ladies and gentlemennnn, this is youuurrrrr Memphis Sounds:

1. Dwyane Wade: Miami
2. Andre Iguodala: Philadelphia
3. Danny Granger: Indiana
4. Eddy Curry: New York
5. Andrew Bynum: LA Lakers
6. Mike Conley Jr: Memphis
7. Udonis Haslem: Miami
8. Marco Belinelli: Golden State (Dude is Rocky Balboa, circa 1976, a spitting image)
9. Antoine Walker: Minnesota
10. Stevie Francis: Houston
11. Renaldo Balkman: New York
12. Jason Smith: Philadelphia

What went down on Kid Nation last week? Our favorite Jared, is mad that Divad (what kind of name is that?) on the red team is selling snacks for cheap that she got out of the kitchen. He goes on a warpath and wrecks her table and flips out. That's good TV and it started out right away. After that, the council finds treasure money. Instead of giving it to everyone, they end up buying things they thought they all could use: baseball bats, balls, and whatever else. Jared starts to sell homemade necklaces and loads up on the money. With his money, he buys a lot of clothes to look like a pimp and even has the hat as he struts around Bonanza City. Nate Dogg, this weird home school kid gets the gold star. Greg dogged Nate all season until Nate manned up and earned his respect. Nobody cried and went home this week. Talent show this week coming up.

Some are asking how the MILF scene went on Halloween night. This year, the numbers were down. The quality was also way down. On my street, it was me and 2 other houses giving out candy. Usually our street is packed with people giving, but my neighbors turned into bums. So what would happen is that these lazy little kids wouldn't walk down my street as much since there were just a few of us with candy. No wonder West Virginia is always among the fattest states in the country. One kid did have a Guitar Hero costume though, he won my pick for most creative. Had the guitar strapped to him and dressed as an 80s hair band rocker. Other than that, there wasn't a lot that really stood out as being original. And the MILFs that were out, most of the ones that looked good on first appearance, had a cig dangling out of her mouth. Bad times right there, that'll get ya crossed of my list in about 0.3 second.

JR's Weekly Rant from a week ago:
"King do ya hear that? What the hell is the Chairman talking about? Next week! One night only! The return of DX! What a night it's gonna be in Los Angeles! Stone Cold! DX! Monday Night RAW! We'll see ya next week everybody!"

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: This one really isn't too hot, but she's fairly filthy, so she'll work. http://www.myspace.com/cherry146105

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Time to give credit to my girl Mustang in the mean streets of Michigan. Can't ever go wrong with funny guido vids: http://youtube.com/watch?v=4JMOh-cul6M

3 Quick Thangs:

1. We'll hit birthdays again soon enough, but we'll take a commercial break and go to The_Freak's Words of Wisdom. Kind of like my barber's words, some quality advice: "Delaware beat Navy, which beat Notre Dame, which beat UCLA, which beat California, which beat Oregon, which is No. 3 in the latest Bowl Championship Series rankings."

2. Today's far out there fact of the day: It is illegal to hunt camels in Arizona. True story. Who hunts camels anyways?

3.About 3000 years ago, most Egyptians died by the time they were 30.

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