Easter, James Moats Mangled, & Steamboat

I'm not sure I can get all of these topics into one blog this time around. That's not a problem in my book, that means more stories for me to ramble on and on about. We're bringing the action right to your computer screens and some of it might shock you, some might entertain you, some might get you fired up at some parts, we'll hit all the emotions. For a preview of what you'll get: College basketball bracket money winner, Spank's entrance into the Toughman Contest, another ShamWow appearance, more Marine chinup challenges, WrestleMania, Fast and Furious, massages, and a RAWR car. Ok, now it's time for me to breathe and get into this madness. It's just tough to figure out where to begin..




Since it's action you want, I'll jump right to some fighting. That's right, we hit the Morgantown Toughman Contest last weekend and what a time it was. You always get your money's worth at these events, but even more so when you have people you know in the ring. I'll get more into that, but let's first compare the differences between this venue and the Clarksburg Nathan Goff Armory that we hit up for the Clarksburg Toughman Contest. The Morgantown building is a new place and I liked the setup. It had a ton of room and the parking was spaced out and not a mess. You could get to the concession stand or bathrooms really quick. The atmosphere though, I'm giving to Clarksburg. It is ten times more rowdy there and you never know what might happen. It is much more "rednecky" at Clarksburg than up north. The people at Morgantown also left a lot earlier. It seemed like they were there to see a guy they were supporting and rolled out. At Clarksburg, people stay the whole night. Both have their advantages and disadvantages, but overall, each are well worth the ticket price to go watch heads get crushed.

Now it's time for actual fight time. Friday night was the opening night, my favorite night to go as you get to see all the fighters go, even the ones who don't belong at all. Spank had been training like a maniac and approached this event in the right way. He wasn't an idiot who thinks he was going to go in and win this thing like half the people around our area do. He wanted to try it to say he did and have fun with it. Training wise, he was all over it. He was running a good 6-7 miles a day, sparring with several guys who have done the contests before, and the usual pushing of the weights. Cardio wise at Morgantown, I'd say he was definitely among the tops and the same goes for being ripped up versus the rest of the crew. It was time to play the waiting game after all the fighters weighed in to see who they are matched up against.



James Moats, step into the ring! This was Spank's opponent for the first night and we brought a big following of people to watch him. My car was rolling 7 deep at one point on the way home. I could list everyone who was there to see Spank, but most don't want to read every single name. In my car though, we had Ashley, Posey, Scherri, Cork, Spank, Porter, and myself. I managed to scare them a few times with my bad driving skills, but they chose to ride with me, so what's that's saying? That's putting lives in danger. Well, it's not that bad, but I'm not a good driver in some cases. I'm four paragraphs in and nobody has thrown a punch yet. Ok, we're in the ring and I'm getting amped. I wasn't worried about Spank getting hurt in there, I knew he'd hold his own, but we couldn't stay still for a second. Ding ding, bell time!

I can't stay still to begin with, but this was even more so watching the fight. 30 seconds in, James Moats couldn't hang anymore due to the vicious left hooks. Through the rest of the weekend and going strong still, Posey started up some good James Moats lines. Posey also lost his voice during the night in his screamfest. I'm calm 99% of the time at sporting events, but this I couldn't stop from yelling and jumping up and down. Second night came around and Spank was fairly even with his next opponent through Round One. Round Two starts up and his neck begins to get mangled. Going into the weekend, one doctor told Spank not to fight since he had a pinched nerve. Another doctor told him to go for it. If he would've won that fight, he was to face the guy who ended up winning the heavyweight division, throwing bombs. All in all, I had a blast and Spank did it up big by showing the crowd what he had.



Our backs were mangled sitting in the bleachers. No biggie though, it's always worth it. I went to get a water once and they had them in a big cooler of ice. You get a bottle out and then go pay these dirty girls. As you're paying, they have a towel for you to wipe it off with. Oh no, it's not just your normal towel. What would it be? ShamWow! I got to see a ShamWow in person and say I used the thing. Other happenings was that I got yet another free Marines shirt to add to the collection for doing over 20 chinups, fully extended style. Posey and I also ran into these energy drink dudes who were really doing a network marketing scheme. We both like talking to random people just to see what they have to say. We fed them a lot of nonstop talking and of course they ate it up. I ended up getting some free energy drinks out of the mix before they eventually would figure out I wasn't interested in their stupid plan. Also, as a random, Posey ended up buying a mouthpiece for no other reason than just to do it. I thought someone gave it to him, but he actually bought the thing and was wearing it around the building, good stuff.

Ok, time for the final paragraph on the fights. You're all wondering, guys and girls both, how the ring girls stacked up from Morgantown to Clarksburg. It didn't even compare. The girls both in the crowd and in the ring were a lot better in Morgantown. I think the girls with us got a kick out of our opinions on the dirty ring girls. Our whole section was giving opinions before the nights were over, nothing better to do. A few arguments were over if some had fake tits or not. I'm terrible at telling the difference, but I'll still throw my two cents out there. Also, one chick was 80 pounds soaking wet and had no business showing her stuff. Spank said it felt like he was watching child porn seeing her out there bouncing around, it was rough. To end things, we parked beside one of the stripper girls they were advertising. In it was this cheesy guy with a cheap suit, a junky car, and the windshield said RAWR. RAWRRRRRRR! Somehow he had the hot chick, who knows. That's how it goes sometimes. I wish I would've taken pics of it.



The good deed of the week was helping a buddy and her dude with a new HDTV. I hooked that bad boy up and put in a Blu-Ray player for them, top of the line stuff. This was about 10 miles outside of Morgantown in probably the nicest house I've been in during my entire life. Not that I get out much, but it ranks as my #1 I'd say. We're talking the pimp cars on the long driveway, three big screens, three full floors, carpet I was walking on that I've never felt quite the like, and tons of other things. That was during the morning and I drive back and get home to Shinnston at 5:30. At 6:00, I pick up the Toughman crew and then leave again for Morgantown, I was all over the place in the Jeep, but on time like always.

Most seasons recently I've done horrible in the NCAA basketball tournament pick ems. This year I was alive going into the final weekend, so I had something to keep an eye on. I ended up with three of my Final 4 teams in it and needed Michigan State to beat UConn to clinch. They put the hammer on and I ended up winning Ozzie's pool that had 60-70 people in it. That's a solid cash take for me there. On top of that, my Heels totally crushed Michigan State in the championship game. Now watch me go 20 years without winning another pool again, just the luck I have in that type of thing, but I'll bask in the glory at least for one season.



Sunday it was time for the Super Bowl of wrestling. That'd be WrestleMania 25 and it was held at the Fortney palace. We had a gang there and awesome food that Abbey made to add to the mix. This was also my first time seeing little Gracey, who it seems like is 4 years old already. Sad that it took me that long to get up there, my fault for sure. Anyways, who all was there for the festivities? Posey, Fortney, Abbey, Darian, Kayla, Matty (not Cakes), Mudcat, Pimpin' Money Mike, Brad, Huff, Spank and myself. It was a terrible show actually, but with that crew together, it made to be a great time. Some of the stuff on the show was so bad that it was actually funny to see. The highlight of the night for most of us came from Ricky Steamboat's return to the ring after years away. The dude hasn't lost a step and blew us away at 56 years old. The next night on RAW, he stole the show again to chants of "You still got it!". I'm always down for a wrestling pay per view, I'll never grow up and apparently most of my crew won't either, it makes things interesting.

Thursday night was movie time. I've been due for a theater trip, so we got it in. Going in, it started that a few of us wanted to see Fast and Furious. Posey hasn't been to the movies in ages, so I was joking with Ashley and Scherri and it ended up that I'd take them both. Posey ended up finding a babysitter, so we went 4 deep for this one. I am a fan of all the movies in this series, so I had high hopes for this one. It delivered, at least from my perspective. It was way over the top, but all of them are that way and not too believable. You have to go in and not have that bother you. The storyline I liked a lot though and Vin Diesel played his role great. Michelle Rodriguez was looking great in this one too. The character that Laz Alonzo played as Fenix Rise was cracking me up like no other. He tried to act all hard, but it turned out to just have me laughing the entire movie at his scenes. Maybe that was just me. Chalk up Jordana Brewster as another hottie in this one. The funny thing about going to these movies is that afterwards, everyone thinks they are tough guys and spin out of the parking lot with their cars. Posey figured he'd try it with the minivan just to be stupid and was able to rip out of the lot. They need vids of these kids revving their engines up and then driving out, it'd have you laughing for sure. Ok, you want the grade? I'm going fairly high with this one. It'll be 8.1 cars blown up out of 10.



I've made it. Forty days I've went without any of my candy, pop, sweet tea, Doritos, or anything of that nature. The first part of it was fairly rough, but once the initial period was over, I was able to handle things without much of an urge. It was tough on days when I'd be at work and someone would bring in a big birthday cake or our cook would make cinnamon rolls, cookies, or that type of deal. Once midnight hits on Saturday night (Sunday morning), all bets are off. The first thing I'm dove into is of course the Cadbury eggs followed by a huge piece of white chocolate and a Coke. I might go into a sugar coma since it's been so long, but I'll get back on pace to rocking that out like no other. As a heads up, if you're bored, feel free to mail me some candy at any time, I won't pass it up.

An underrated thing that most people don't get nearly enough of? Massages. I got one on Friday for the first time in a while. For the locals, it was the place on Meadowbrook Road. Not that I've had a whole lot of massages over the years, but this one ranks as my #1 thus far. I got to hang in the hot tub for 15-20 minutes before the actual deal. They even had a Ric Flair robe for me to put on after I got out to go to the next room. I should've done the strut and went into full character mode. After that, it was massage time for an hour and this little chick did the work. No, not what you're thinking you pervs, but I about fell asleep during it. Highly recommended, plus they told me my insurance would pay for most of any future visits, so you can't really beat that.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: What dirty do we have to reveal this week? People get a kick out of this section and I get just as many comments talking to people or online about this than just about anything else on my blogs. Credit for this one goes to Kristen in Germany. She's sending us a chick from Dallas, Texas. The funniest pics to me in her folders are from the car show. You'll see what I mean. www.myspace.com/tha_executiveofficialpage

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: This has been out for a while, but if you've never seen, you're in for a treat. Even if you have seen, you know this is a vid you can watch over and over. I'm talking about My New Haircut. It's probably not suitable for work if you have your speakers cranked, but check it out and then thank me later.





3 Quick Thangs:

1. We're going with reader submissions for the bottom part this week.. We'll start off with one from Arizona Jas. What does she have to provide us with? In the average life time, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator. Another one from Arizona Jas? More suicides happen on Monday than any other day.

2. We go to a joke that Corndog found that he wants people to know about. In his words, it's hilarious. Penis Van Lesbian. http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/just4fun/a/VanLesbian.htm

3. And our third is coming to us from The_Freak. What's he have up his sleeve? He has a few actually.. A koala bear sleeps 22 hours of every day. Another? California has issued at least 6 drivers licenses to people named Jesus Christ. Dang, it's one more the fans are chanting for? Ok, I'll give in. Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave.. I hope everyone had a great Easter, talk to you soon enough!