Thursday, April 02, 2009

Dirty Feet, ShamWow Dude & Flink

I just love having tons of random topics to ramble about. It's weeks like these, as I said in the last issue that it makes the blogs easy to write. Besides, I'm never short of words, I can always find some kind of conversation to get into. The little preview I can give this time around will feature if people wash their feet, Corndog becoming addicted, a weird iPhone app, cheesy Facebook things I've lowered myself to, a great story on the ShamWow dude, and MUCH more. It's time to step in and get ready, for it's now or never time..

I was listening to a radio show the other morning on my drive to work. Between songs, they brought up a topic that somewhat surprised me. In the live booth was a chick and 3 dudes on the radio panel. One guy brings up that his feet smell and he was wondering the problem. The chick then asks if he washes his feet. A simple question, right? You'd think the obvious answer would be yes, but you would have guessed wrong. The guy says what he does, when he's in the shower, he'll wash his body and soap will be on him. Then he'll let the soap run all the way down to his feet and through his toes. The chick then was confused and was asking if the guy really didn't actually scrub his feet. He said he didn't scrub and didn't think anything of it. Then she asks the other guys in the booth. Apparently, another guy there does the exact same thing. How do you not scrub your feet? Come on people. Dudes have mangled feet to begin with, at least scrub em. No chick wants to deal with that. Well, our weekly Dirty Thug Ho girls may, but you know, they usually don't count. Besides, it takes no time to scrub, get to it.

I've talked about the iPhone before and we all know it can do just about everything aside from scrubbing your feet. You've all seen the latest commercials on their new apps. That's fine, some are a bit extreme, but one has me thinking when it will end. The one I'm talking about is the app that reminds you where you parked your car. Don't get me wrong, I have no common sense and have came out of a store before and been a bit lost to where my car was. But to the point of actually going in a panic that I'd need to have my phone pinpoint my spot? Get out of here with that app, it's garbage. It'll be interesting to see what they have to offer next. Maybe I need to get me one of these things just because.

Here's a story that you might've heard just recently, but has me intrigued. For you TV freaks like me, you definitely know the ShamWow dude. The first thing before getting into the story, I am surprised he's 44 years old. He doesn't look nearly that much on TV, but wait.. He was partying and doing his thing in Miami and decides he wants some dirty hooker. No, not just some random girl and me being silly by calling her that in the blog. A genuine one and he paid her $1000 for regular stuff. Apparently, she kisses the dude and bit his tongue and wouldn't let go. What does ShamWow Dude do? He started going Chris Brown on her and messed her up something awful. Yes, I know what you're thinking, that guy. She ended up with facial fractures and lacerations. If you've read this my ramblings before, you know I'm a huge proponent against dudes who think they're so bad that they have to whip up on a little girl. It's just crazy to me how often that happens, even in my area that I see, so I couldn't imagine a real city like Miami. No excuse from me on this guy for what he did, but it's still a story you wanted to know about. Anyways, thanks to good ol' Smoking Gun, they have 6 pages up for you all to enjoy. You get to see ShamWow Dude look tons older than he does on TV in his mugshot, the police reports, and of course pics of the dirty girl. She doesn't look bad in her before pics, but got beatdown in her hospital pics. Aside from the face being mangled, in an off topic thing with her, she has a tat on her lower back that says Lucky. I've come around a good bit on tats recently and if you have something decent, I'm cool with it, but that one just makes me laugh. Here's two links, the first shows the story and ShamWow Dude's pics. The other is of the girl after tough guy roughed her up, it's not pretty. Why can't we throw Chris Brown and ShamWow Dude into a MMA ring with Vanderlei "The Axe Murderer" Silva for a good 10 minutes? That'd teach em. And here's your links: and

How's the world of Facebook treating people? I still like MySpace even though it's a bit more primitive, but seems like everyone and their brother would rather be on Facebook instead. Either is fine by me, but there's a cheesy Top 5 deal going on that is catching on like fire. I admit, it's so cheesy that I figured I'd jump in on it too, sadly enough. I went and ranked my Top 5 Albums , Top 5 Movies, and Top 5 Video Games of All Time. Those are tougher than you think to break it down to just 5 choices. You can pick between a lot of other things too, but I stopped with those three, that's bad enough. On the albums I go with all rap, as I chose Dr. Dre's The Chronic as my #1 by far, Dru Down's Can You Feel Me, NWA's Straight Outta Compton, 2Pac's All Eyez On Me, and Run DMC's Raising Hell. For movies I go with The Sandlot as my #1, The Pride of the Yankees, Private Parts, Boogie Nights, and Happy Gilmore. Hey Cali Jas, Slumdog is Top 10, hah. Video games I go with Tecmo Bowl as #1 (the original), The Legend of Zelda, The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, Street Fighter 2, and Mike Tyson's Punch-Out. Take those rankings for whatever they're worth to you, probably not much. I did have some fun checking out what other people on my list ranked some of their tops, it's interesting. Then again, I'm easily excited, so it could be boring to you.

The video game mix is still kicking as usual. I've been stuck on nothing but Call of Duty 5 since it came out. Most of my buddies who have it are just as ate up. We added another to the program this week. Last Saturday, I get a call out of nowhere from Logan County. I didn't have a clue who it was at first, but a few seconds in after the guy started joking and calling me by all of my nicknames, it clicked. Corndog! He wanted some info on COD and what all he needed to play it. Almost a week later, Corndog now is hooked like the rest of us. It's the best when we get all of our gang into one game. The people from out of the area are in our games and they hear a bunch of West Virginia hicks like us on there with our mics, they don't know what to think. It's pretty entertaining. The majority of people on the mics are fun, but you do get your punks from time to time who can ruin things. The other night it was Corndog, Cork, Walz, and myself all in an 8-man Free-For-All game. If you haven't joined on on this yet, you're missing out. After the first night of playing, Corndog wakes up without a lot of sleep and pulls out this one as he's ready to pick his controller back up:

Corndog: im already up again
Corndog: dang im tired
Corndog: but as soon as i help my sister move some stuff....ill be back out on the battlefield haha

It's TV time as I watch entirely too much. It's going to rot my brain. A show I've been getting into lately is Cash Cab on the Discovery Channel. I've always been a game show type of guy, so this is easy to get into. It's been around for a bit, so most of you have probably already seen it a good bit. Basically the premise is that you have the host of the show driving a cab in New York City. People get into the cab like they would for any other cab and tell the driver of their destination. Little do they know, he switches it up on them and tells them they have a chance to make money until they land at their spot. If they get 3 strikes (missed questions), the driver kicks them out of the car. They have 2 "shout-outs" in that they can either call someone or stop on the street and ask some bum for help. At the end, if they make it without losing all their strikes, they are given a chance to double up their money with a video question or just to get out and keep what they have. I'd be way too conservative with my money. I'd take the money I already won and just roll out. It's free money the way I look at it, no point of gambling it to where you might end with nothing. That's just my take. Anyways, check it out if you haven't before. General knowledge questions and some of the people that get into the car will shock you with how smart they are.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: She is doing a handstand on her main profile pic and she also has pics with Pimpin' Money Mike and Urkel. Those all helped the consideration factor and here we go with this week's edition:

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Corndog is all over the blog this week and he returns yet again. I don't watch any late night talk shows anymore, but I used to be big into Letterman. That gets me into this week's video that Corndog gets credit for. It's a skit of Letterman stuck in an elevator and putting on a good act. Big Dave looking into the cam gets me every time.

3 Quick Thangs:

1. Very interesting.. As I'm working on the blog, my Chicago Bears are back on the map. Maybe not to a lot of wins, but it should be a good bit better than they have been offensively. Jay Cutler, the crybaby of the Broncos is out and is now with my boys. I like that, even if we gave up two 1st Round picks, a 3rd Round pick, and Kyle "The Legend Killer" Orton. Still one of the worst (if not THE worst) receiving crew in the league, but with Cutler back there, I'm all for the change. We'll see. Ask me again in 6-7 months.

2. I know absolutely nothing about country music. Ironic I know since I'm in redneck land, but it's true. I said this during my fantasy baseball draft last week and was fearing that I might lose my manliness with the comment. I decided to go with it anyways. The topic was Taylor Swift and I'll say it here. I don't get the hype with everyone saying she's so hot. I don't see it. She's a cute girl, looks way way young though, but nobody that I'd put way high on my celebrity list at all. Surprisingly, several other guys in my league agreed.

3. Did You Know? Did you know that a group of 12 or more cows is called a flink? I didn't either, never knew that word existed. Another one? Ok.. Deer can't eat hay. I'm not sure if they really can't or if they just won't, but that's what it says.. Until next time!


Ms. Jazzie said...

can we say...sham WOW! Killer blog my friend! :)

WOW!wow...44?! I would have never guessed... I heard something about the story but I did not know it was another violence thing...whats u with these people?! Get a little fame and then woosh they feel they can beat on the world? quite literally huh?

Scrubbin the feet! I scrub the feet...its not fun because it tickles but i gotta keep the feet lookin pretty :)

That iPhone app sounds amazing! Not really... I mean seriously... at school which has 40k students...its cant be too hard to remember where u parked. Hell I want to disneyland this week and they make their parking structure idiot proof because of course you are going to remember if you parked in Donald, Daisy, goofy, Minnie, or Mickey! This iPhone app reminds me of this app that this desperate woman put on her BFs iphone... a tracking device! hahaha priceless!

Taylor Swift?! Cradle Robbing my friends! She is as old as Miley Cyrus... YUK!

You know I have not found that app on facebook... I shall look for it... good choice on the happy gilmore, street fighter 2, and Dr Dre! :)And Slumdog STILL sucks!

Nice video...

OMG! Your dirty hoe of the week goes to MY school and she lives 15 minutes away from me...HA! Im thinking she might be in the gymnastics team or dance team in school... guess where I will be the next few weeks.. :P

Quality my friend!!!

DirtyKash said...

This Ms. Jazzie girl really likes you, Bird.

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