Monday, November 30, 2009

Wedding, Hank Jr., Guidos, & Tiffney

Wow do I have a lot to push into this blog. I'll try to condense, but that's never easy for me since I tend to ramble way too much. Either way, I'm not going to waste any time, we need to get this thing rockin'. What do we have in store for everyone this week? I was off 9 days in a row for Thanksgiving break and that spoiled me, so I'll mention the excursions for that. I'll talk about the Turkey Trot 5K, Cork's wedding, Turkey Day, ridiculous hours of Call of Duty, a cat that eats anything, "Tiffney", new CDs, Jersey Shore, and a lot of other action. Here we go..

I'm going out of order here, but I'm going to start with Cork's wedding. Up until June of this year, I've never been in a wedding in my life. Now this one, it makes my second of the year once I throw Ozzie's into the mix. The groomsmen in this extravaganza were Trev the best man, Posey, Ozzie, Spank, and myself. I was a big fan of the pink and black mix of the tux. The good thing about that day is that we weren't dripping sweat with our tuxes on. Both the church and reception area were rather cool. There's not much worse than sweating your nads off and being miserable. Luckily that wasn't the case here.

On Friday we had the wedding rehearsal and then went out to eat at Ruby Tuesday. I'm a fan of this place for a few reasons. One is that it never seems to be crowded. Another is the open salad bar. If you give me a chance to actually make my own salad, I'm in for sure. Not a lot of places around here anymore give you that. It's the little things in life. Some people don't like these because they think it's sort of dirty and anyone can throw junk in there, but so be it. I know my food that night was real good and I won't complain. Cork hooked us up with pretty good presents too that night for being groomsmen. We all got a NFL hat of our teams as well as a signed autograph of some of our favorite players. I of course ended up with a Chicago Bears hat that I'm liking the look of a lot and then Cork also found a certified Don Mattingly autographed baseball card. I never was a huge autograph guy as far as me seeking them down, but I've been lucky to get a nice selection over the years by just being in the right place at the right time. My Larry Bird autograph that I got in person on his jersey remains my all time favorite that won't be topped, but my boy Donnie Baseball that Cork found is some high quality, much appreciated.

Now it's time for wedding day. The church they had the wedding at had a great feel to it and a good turnout. Somehow, although we managed, Ozzie and myself were given a few more jobs than the other guys. We don't have a bit of common sense between the two of us, but maybe that's why Cork paired us off like that just for a laugh. We each walked in the mothers of Cork and Kristin. After that, we had the task of walking the runner down the aisle. That was my first time doing it and I guess we did fair enough. It ended up straight, but when we were walking it down, one of us would have a side way in the air, while the other would be on the ground, and vice versa. It was a quick wedding and no problems and I hope to get some pics through the next week or so. Some are already posted if you haven't seen yet.

Then it was off to the reception, which was literally in walking distance, so that made things very handy. The food was great at this one, some of my favorite wedding eats I've had in a while to be honest. The salad was out of this world, I think that was my favorite. Scherri and Posey, you two still hold the record for best wedding food. I love catered food as much as anyone else, but can you really go wrong with homemade Boone County food? Nope. A big turnout at the reception and it was fun since I knew just about everyone there on both sides for the most part. The theme was wedding karaoke. I thought at first that it'd be awkward with nobody wanting to get up in front of everybody, but that wasn't the case, it turned out to be a blast. The DJ would switch off between a few dance songs on the floor and then between he'd have people up doing karaoke, some were good, others were so terrible that it still ended up good.

On the singing, there weren't many that were really good to be honest, but that still made it part of the show. Isn't part of karaoke the point of having people who can't sing, know they can't sing, yet still get up there? If I had to pick who I thought did the best I'd give my vote for Pat when he was rocking out Sinatra. I thought that was a job well done, I was impressed. Another hit of the night and my personal favorite performance was when Spank and my Uncle Jeff did You Make Me Feel (Like a Natural Woman). The song choice alone had everyone laughing, but the chorus made it. They both would sing it soft and then when it came to the main part, Spank would turn it into a rock song where he'd be screaming it. We had our section giving them a standing ovation for a job well done.

There were a lot of people up through the night, can't list them all, but the book of songs the DJ had to pick from was mammoth. Ozzie and Matty Cakes teamed up to do Summer of '69. This was Cakes' first karaoke experience and he was also voted best dressed at the wedding. Kari took credit for that since she was the one that supposedly picked out the outfit. The groomsmen had an idea to be cheesy and sing some old school Boyz II Men to Cork as a joke, but we opted for another route. All six of us (5 groomsmen and Cork) instead went the redneck route. Posey said why not do Family Tradition from Hank Williams Jr. I knew the chorus to that one at least, which shocked our table. Between myself and Matty Cakes, we know basically nothing at all from country music. They had some rap songs on there, but I would've felt pretty weird in that atmosphere trying to karaoke rap, hah. Our rendition of Family Tradition was horrible, but that was what made it good. It was fun to get up there and just be goofballs, I'm not above that. Speaking of Posey, he was a hit by randomly dancing with the preacher lady, that might've been my favorite thing of the night. Anyways, wedding chat is over. Kristin and Cork, big props for the weekend you gave us all. Most guys hate going to weddings, but this one I'll admit, I had a really good time at. Even my dad stayed for a good while, that says a lot with his patience. Best of luck to ya, even though I've told you enough.

Let's rewind back to Thanksgiving. That morning we had Shinnston's 1st Annual 5K Turkey Trot at 9:00. I was floored by the amount we had show up on such short preparation. Our town gets a reputation for being a bunch of lazy bums as far as exercise goes, and I'd be the first to say that, but that morning it was a great event. We had roughly sixty people show up, the local news came by to film footage and do interviews, and it was well organized. The weather was perfect for me, but I'm a cold weather person anyways. It was in the low 40s that morning. The guy who won it, for anyone that doesn't know, Dave McCollam. Dave, you're a freak of nature man, and a real good guy, although I got to tell you that the day of. Dave ran it in about 16 minutes, that's just sick. Second place was some Lincoln track kid who came in his gear and he was serious about it. It showed too. 3rd Place? A 7th grade, 12-year old. Yes, seriously. That kid was getting on it like no other. My boy Spank came in 4th as he's one of the better runners around here I've always said. I finished Top 10, so I was happy about that. My end time was 24 minutes and some change. I'm definitely in again for this next year and our numbers should be real big by that time. Stacia and Jason, awesome work on getting the ball rolling for this, you put a lot of hard work into the day. I'm considering the 7th Annual Jingle Bell Jog 5K in Bridgeport at 8:30 on Saturday morning, but we'll see.

After getting in a run, it was time to be a fat boy and tear into food all day. Can you really go wrong with that? I have a high metabolism anyways, but I feel with working out hard, running steady, playing ball, and whatever else, that it gives me a chance to just eat whatever in most cases. I still have a weakness for candy and sweets, but I could be hooked on worse. What else was I hooked on during Thanksgiving? After watching some football, it was time to get ate up with Call of Duty. Get ate up with it was exactly what I did too. From 5:00 PM through 3:00 AM, I was battling in that for 10 hours straight. I did get up a few times to wizz and once brought a sandwich back, but that was it. That's an accomplishment, even for me. I've done that before, but it still is worth a mention. Sadly, I've had longer stints being on the internet for far longer, which isn't saying much. Either way, as you've heard me rant and rave for the past month, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 is one amazing game. I'll be sure to talk more on this game over the upcoming months, so bear with me.

It must be time for a TV update. For those who are still on the bandwagon known as Glee, we have just two more weeks left until they go on break. The December 9th episode will be the last one until April. That far away till it starts back up? Ouch. If you haven't watched this show yet, you're missing out. Yes, I know I'm a dork for watching this show, but so be it. You want a new shot to watch? This Thursday, it's time to get it going. How so? Jersey Shore premieres on MTV and it should be a riot. Here's the description straight from MTV: "Grab your hair gel, wax that Cadillac and get those tattooed biceps ready to fist pump with the best this summer at the Jersey Shore. MTV's newest docu-soap exposes one of the tri-state area's most misunderstood species, the Guido. Our Guidos and Guidettes will move into the ultimate beach house rental and indulge in everything the Seaside Heights, New Jersey scene has to offer. Beach by day, dancing and partying all night. They'll live, work, and rage together until the summer ends. There's no spray tan too orange, no hair too spiked, and no bod too tight for this crew." These guys will be total knuckleheads I'm sure, but it should be great TV. I'm not sure if I'll want to admit to being Italian after this, but I'm excited to watch the drama go down. Next month of course we get American Idol starting on January 12th. Like I need more TV to watch.

Here's a random one on my cat. My cat is soon to be 21 years old and still kicking. Yeah, I know that's crazy. She's in good shape though surprisingly. She tears up food like a dog though. You can throw whatever at it and gone. I've thrown her ham, chicken, turkey, bacon, the works. You know it. What cat does that? Maybe that's the breakfast of champions. I've just figured out the answer to a long life for cats. You get this advice free of charge of course.

A few new CDs to mention if anyone wants that review..

50 Cent: Before I Self Destruct. I wasn't big on 50's last album, but this one rebounds in a pretty good way if you ask me. You've all heard Baby By Me featuring Ne-Yo and probably Crime Wave which I've talked about before. Some other recommendations are Psycho with Eminem, I Got Swag, and Ok, You're Right. Plus, you can't go wrong with anything Dr. Dre touches with his beats and then as an added bonus you get R. Kelly involved with Could've Been You. 50 isn't good at all in concert, but on a CD, he's usually worth a listen if nothing else. Even non-rap fans know a little bit of 50, so I'll throw some mainstream at everyone to check out.

Rakim: Seventh Seal. Here we go with a true legend of the rap game. Rakim is one of the all time greats when it comes to storytelling in his rhymes. I say all the time, that is a thing that is missing in today's rap game. Plus, lyrically he comes as strong as ever. Rakim has been around and has the respect of everyone. A really good CD here. For those who haven't heard much Rakim, for shame, you're probably not a rap fan at all if so. If you're new or old to his stuff, I'm still going to give you some things to get. You may have heard Walk These Streets. This one is excellent in my mind. It has Maino on it and Maino better thank all he can that Rakim chose him for this song. You And I featuring Samuel Christian, Working For You, and Holy Are U are all strong pickups. Rakim doesn't get his respect just because, he's definitely earned that praise. Get your hands on this as soon as possible.

I'm typing this section a few hours after Charlie Weis got shown the door at Notre Dame. I've been a Fat Charlie supporter for a while up until the middle part of this season. I wouldn't have been disappointed if they brought him back next year, but I'm acceptable for having him gone. He'll bounce back on his feet and get a good job as an offensive coordinator in the NFL. He just couldn't put it all together in South Bend. His recruiting classes were still among the Top 10 in the nation, so you can't fault that, so blame has to go to him since he's the head guy. I thought he handled himself really well, but defensively, we were a mess the years he was here. I'll give him his credit due for his offensive skill set, he knows what he's doing there and is a guy you can't help but like. Put me on the spot and ask me who I'd like to have as coach next year and I'm not 100% sure. Yes, I read all the rumors, the message boards, and all of that, but I don't want a quick decision. Nor do I want them to give a crazy long term contract. I want Jon Gruden somehow, but he's recently signed an extension with Monday Night Football. I'm sure he could get out of that if serious. Brian Kelly at Cincy? I'm not sure he's ready. Bob Stoops? I think he could fit. The Urban Meyer rumors cracked me up. He's a god in Florida, why would he leave that system? As a Notre Dame fan, I'll admit it is a very tough place to coach and it comes with a lot of history and expectations, even if those haven't been met in a good while. Bring back my boy Lou Holtz. It should be an interesting ride.

Bird's Dirty of the Week: I'm letting Arizona Jas take over her spot once again. This might be a bit too professional of a chick, but we're going to use her anyways. Usually it's more fun to get some random regular type of girl, but we switch it around here. She spells her name "Tiffney" and is in Tampa. One of her lines on her page is this one: "Ive been playing and watching basketball since I could walk. I beg of you, for your own sake, do not step up to me on the subject in a discussion ignorant. I promise you will sit down humiliated." I respect the basketball knowledge in a hot chick, but humiliate us? Come on now, I just don't see that happening when I'm one of 5 NBA fans left east of the Mississippi as the great Boston Sports Guy would say. Sometimes she can crank on too much makeup which is a big no-no in my books, but without much on, I'll give her the thumbs up of quality. I'm voting the Dirty Shirty folder as my favorite of her bunch. Here's "Tiffney":

Bird's Video of the Week: This week's vid is from a donut shop parking lot apparently. The story is that the husband knocks the wife's boyfriend into another world. It doesn't look like that crazy of a punch until the dude starts to get up and is in a coma. His legs are buckling and he's a mess. Knockouts are always good entertainment, unless you're on the receiving end.

3 Quick Thangs:

1. Since I brought up cats earlier, I might as well give dogs their due too. You've all seen it happen. You're out driving and then out of nowhere you come up to a dog barking its head off. That's fine I guess, but then you keep going and they chase you like a maniac. What's exactly going through their head? Are they going to bite the car? Try to scare you? And how do they get so close to your tires without not getting ran over as often as you'd expect? Yep, I have too much time on my hands.

2. It's good to see that Tiger Woods is now human. He has that A-Rod Complex in that we really don't know much on his actual life. He answers things straight and then keeps to himself afterwards. That's ok with me, but after a little car wreck, he was a few days ago proclaimed to be in serious condition and dying to a few hours later being ready to bounce off the walls and run a 16 minute 5K. Now we get the rumors of him hooking up with dirty chicks? It wouldn't surprise me, but just interesting to see this mess go down. As T.O. would say, getcha popcorn ready.

3. A few strange facts to end on.. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.. Approximately 2 gallons of water are used to brush your teeth.. Heineken's beer foam is supposed to last 5 minutes.. In the United States, 80% of households have oatmeal in their kitchen. Who knew?


Mitch B. said...

Ed- The Barnes' family cat "Moo" is 22 and still kicking....crazy stuff......I remember you cat from back in the day shooting Bird fadies in the driveway..

Corndog said...

There has got to be some video footage of you guys singing..and the people want to see it! Donut shop guy reminded me of the commercial where the dude is walkin all crazy legged. maybe a levis commercial?

Corndog said...

Im back with a link...yes it was Levis..and i found it by typing in Levis Crazy Legs commercial and bam!

Bird33 said...

22? Whoa, you got me beat there man, that's impressive. And Bird fadies, hah hah. Great memories right there, loved that shot. I wonder how many fadies we took back in the day. We did those all day long.

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Ms. Jazzie said...

Did I ever tell you the story of my Vegas birthday? I doubt it.. anyways my friend invited some hockey players from jersey to our room and I literally was pissed off so I asked them "Is it true that all jersey ppl are assholes?" HA! And I said this after they brought us booze. Hell I didnt care!

Anyways I cant wait to be in a wedding it sounds like great times!