Redneck Fatties

Sometimes I make you guys wait a few days for a post, other times I make you wait almost a week. It keeps everyone on their toes. Besides, if I had a definite deadline, I'd feel like a bum if I didn't get a post in exactly when I said. I'm weird like that. Well, the week is up and it's time to open up shop and see what kind of stories (all true) I have for ya this time.



First things first. Movie fans, let's give a few quick reviews. Go see Clerks II as soon as possible. Please take my word on that. Me and Cork hit that up on Thursday at midnight in the mean streets of Fairmont. I was surprised of the crowd first of all. Second, at the end of the movie, the theater erupted in claps. No joke people, it was that good. I didn't expect it to be decent as it had high expectations from the original, but it's awesome. And for those who haven't seen the first, get out there and rent it or something. A possible Top-10 movie of all time for me is Clerks II, maybe I'm judging too soon. You get Jay, Silent Bob, the regular cast of characters, and also the beautiful Rosario Dawson. Guys, you need to see her dance scene on the roof, crazy good stuff. The second theater movie I've seen this week was Little Man. I'm a huge Wayans Brothers fan and stupid dumb comedies are my favorites. This one I was bored and just watched online (the joy of the internet) and it cracked me up good. If you like funny stories that you don't have to think about much while watching, here ya go, I recommend it.

Wednesday night I hit up Denny's with Cork. Don't you just love how I can just jump from day to day in here? I gotta keep your attention somehow. The theme of the night was goofy rednecks. This table of fatties thought they were the funniest thing ever. One kept calling the pay phone and it rang off the hook. Then their humor other than that was their big trucks. They'd drive around the lot as the others watched and laughed, then would come back and park their trucks sideways. Then they'd all get pumped that they were rebel enough to park their trucks sideways. I'm all for being goofy and laughing at middle school humor (hey, I just got done watching Clerks II and Little Man), but I'm not much for the whole redneck crowd. Just not for me.



Here's a shaving story for all to laugh at. I've talked in here before and most of my crew knows that I like being all smooth and stuff as far as shaving goes. I can't stand too much hair on me. Anyways, while shaving my chest the other day (not that much is there, but then again, I like the smoothness factor), I was going too fast and nicked up one of my nipples. It happens. Burns like crazy though. Come to find out, another one of my buddies has done that before, so I'm not the only one. Hey, at least I'm not a redneck who parks their truck sideways to fit in. Something different I like to add for anyone bored enough to read this space for each post I make, which I appreciate it.

Anyone internet radio fans out there? I've been trying Winamp Shoutcast Radio as of late. Cork got me hooked on this. I didn't even know about it to be honest. But any kind of music you want and there's tons of stations just for that genre. The rap stuff is where I hang of course and it's impressive. The names of the stations are funny too once you get inside. There's also a good comedy section of stations in there that are worth checking out. If you have Winamp and have never tried this, just click View, then Media Library. After that, go into Online Services and then Shoutcast Radio. Then you're in business to jam.



On the video game front, for now, I'm holding off on getting NCAA '07. I thought long and hard on this one. I'm fired up that they didn't make a GameCube version first of all. I have a PS2 and that was an option, but the PS2 makes me mad in that it takes forever (or as Squints says in The Sandlot, "Forevahhh! Forrreeevahhh!") to load. I'll probably wait till August 22nd when Madden '07 comes out. Yesterday I finally got Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow for Nintendo DS. Some reviews have rated it as the best DS game ever. That's high praise. It's very good though from what I've played in the past day and worth the purchase.

Yep, we're due to add some more CDs to the collection. Most skip through this section, but that's fine. Like I always say, there's a little something in my posts for everyone. My cousin Kari joked the other day that when she sees pics of the rappers, she just moves right along, hah. Fair enough.



Afroman: Drunk 'N' High. The title of the CD has nothing to do with what I'm into, but Afroman is one funny dude, so I might as well get this since I have his other albums. I'm always up for some comedy in my day.

Bone Crusher: Release The Beast. I wasn't big on Bone Crusher's first CD, but I'll give this one a chance. I like that he comes with some mean raps, so that's a plus. Will he just be a one-hit wonder from the Never Scared single of 2003? That one still holds up strong.

Boot Camp Clik: The Last Stand. This one is supposedly a release just for England, but it's coming to West Virginia anyways. These guys started out on the underground scene and seem to keep that tradition. They're big into lyricism and have a real good DJ in Hi-Tek. True hip hop, check it out.

Choppa: Coming Back Home. Da Real Choppa as he claims, as there's also Choppa from Puff's Da Band a while back. This one hasn't released anything since 2003, so he's definitely due. His first CD, Choppa Style was pretty good stuff I thought. "Chop-chop-choppa style". We all remember that chorus.

Pimp C: Pimpalation. This is a 2-disc set, but the 2nd was chopped and screwed which is garbage. Some big time characters on this CD such as Scarface, Lil Flip, Trae, Bun-B of course, Jazze Pha, Mike Jones, Slim Thug, 8Ball, MJG, Webbie, Lil Boosie, Mannie Fresh, Big Mike, Chamillionaire, Jagged Edge, Big Gipp, Z-Ro.. That's a bunch. He's ready to show his stuff after getting out of jail not too long ago.

State Property: The Gang Is All Here. This is what I'm talking about, quality stuff here. Freeway opens it off right from the get-go and straight brings it. That's worth it alone. The whole Roc La Familia is on this one and if there's Freeway tracks, I'm always interested. I'm also a big Young Gunz fan too.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: MySpace is mangled right now, so we'll go another option. It's Buffie the Body time. I've shown her pics on here before, and you've seen her in rap videos, but some legit ghetto booty here: http://www.buffiethebody.com/main.htm.

3 Quick Thangs:

1. Big list here. Let's go with some birthdays for Sunday, July 23rd: Baseballer Don Drysdale (maybe dead?) is 70. Woody Harrelson goes for 45. The Original NBA Big Dog, Antoine Carr, hits 45 as well. Slash from GNR fame is 41, but should've been dead about 5 times already. NBA Champion Gary Payton turns 38. Marlon Wayans is 34, funny how I talked about one of his movies above too. Good ol' Monica Lewinsky is 33. Runner Maurice Greene is 32. And last but not least, #basketball member Kris3, is 27.

2. Can you get a stiff neck and from doing too many crunches? Well, that's what I did. Doh.

3. I'm hooked on Crystal Light Peach Tea. No sugar, but it tastes like it does. Plus, it's easy to make.