Saturday, July 26, 2008

Anger Management

I haven't blogged about the softball squad in a while. Usually it's normal duty and nothing too far out of the ordinary goes down. First off, even if you're not a softball fan, stay with me for this story, you'll get a nice read for some over the top action. I don't even have to tell much about the actual game, scores or any of that. I think the stories alone should cover that part up and then some. Other than that, going into this blog before Friday night, I was short on stories and they always come through at the perfect time to give me something to write about. Plus, I have some pressure from Posey and Trev to detail it good in this one, so we'll see. Corndog, thanks for the bum pic, you're doing big things down there in Logan County.

The question is, will Dyno Nobel's season be finished up earlier than expected? Why do I ask that? We were getting beat by a pretty good team on Friday night. We then started a valiant comeback and had some life to the team. That's always fun to be in the fight late in the game. A foul ball is hit by the opponents and it goes near the fence on the 3rd base line. Mule is pitching. He goes running like a machine and jumps into the side of the fence and makes a web gem catch. As he made the amazing catch, he spikes the ball down and asks the ump how he likes that foul ball. A play or two before that, there was a controversial hit down the 1st base line that the ump called fair. Cork and Mule both got on the ump for it, while Trev was with me beside the fence on the line and he thought it was a fair ball. Who knows, but that pressed it with Mule to do what he did with spiking the ball, which was somewhat just in a matter of cheering until things heat up. After that, the ump throws Mule out and Mule snaps. He basically tells the ump he'll fight him after the night's games are over and all of this. The ump then tells him to leave the premises. The ump is a little dorky guy in his mid 40s or so who was wearing a facemask for slow pitch softball. He thought he was a professional ump with his actions too. Mule didn't leave the premises by the way as I guess the dude couldn't force him away, but Trev took his spot in the game.

Are you still with me? That's just tame to what happens with our next incident. We're batting now. Posey is on 2nd base and Rach is on 3rd. A fly ball to center is caught. Posey runs back to 2nd to tag up and then him and Rach take off. Posey ends up scoring with some quality speed. The opposing 2nd basemen then calls an appeal and says that Posey didn't get back to the base when he really did. The ump then calls him out without really seeing that part of the play. Uh oh. Posey then storms to the ump, stumbles in the dirt on his way there (had to be there to appreciate that) and turns into George Brett. For the non-baseball fans, search for George Brett's pine tar incident in 1983. He gets all in the umps face, bumps him, starts kicking dirt at him and the whole nine yards. F-bombs are flying, he wants to fight the guy and is just raving. I'm sitting on the side and just wondering what in the world is going on. The ump tosses him of course and then it heats up even more.

The ump threatens to call 911. That's how he said it too. He said he was with the district attorney's office and was acting all bad for a little geek. Posey then asked him where his boyfriend was or some variation of that line. By this point, it's way out of hand and I'm beginning to think it was a dream. Meanwhile, the other team probably doesn't have any idea what is going to happen next as it was just a melee. Posey had to be held back by not only our players, but a dude from the other team too. The funny part is that Posey afterwards was saying that he's too little to whip many people, but he knows he could've clocked a 40-something nerd ump and have him out for the count. At the end of it all, Posey is out there with his shirt off while Trev's Dad is just loving the entire scene, that part did crack me up. Trev, I think he had more fun than anyone there during that whole scene.

As I'm typing this part up late Friday night, we're awaiting word from the big chiefs of the league to see what happens next. We have a game scheduled for 5:00, but it's in doubt. I was talking to Cork tonight on the phone after the game and we both would be very surprised if our team was allowed to play anymore this season. The ump was calling bad calls all night on both sides, I will admit that much. The way I look at it though, and I guess I'm different since I'm always laid back, is that go for the fun. We're in a co-ed softball league where most of the people playing aren't much at all. I want to win as much as the next dude, but what a story this gave me to tell. It sure beats the normal schedule we have in the big town here. We go out of town to play softball and it gets people roid raging and going insane, good times.

After the game, we make our second stop of the evening to our traditional Go-Mart in Morgantown. Posey is random like me and will talk to anyone just to get a story out of them. We've made buddies with an older lady. What's up with the random older ladies I'm around lately? Either way, Posey gets a kick out of this old woman and she smokes on her break outside and we BS with her. This was the same woman that Posey hyped up the story a few weeks ago of me not writing about his spectacular catch in left field on the blog. Now it's a running joke to stop there on the way home to tell her about our games. She was loving the stories from tonight and Posey is a quality storyteller since he can ramble on and on like me. By the time the quick stop was over, we had her hating the ump and wanting to go beat him down. So there you have it, a quick recap about ejections, 911, threats, shirts being torn off Hulk Hogan style, and then wondering if it all just happened or not. Anger management classes will be in session soon for our softball team, it's a fine line to walk. :)

Now onto some other tidbits. For the MySpace crew, which is just about everyone and their brother, you need to start playing Mobsters. Some reading are already in my "mob", but it's easy to do and fairly addicting. If you're into the MMORPG type of games, this will be right up your alley. There's a lot of options on MySpace with apps, which I don't do many, but this one is worthy. If you do decide to play, feel free to add me on your mob so we can just do our thing and load up on crew members. Again, it's real simple and you don't have to be ate up online all the time like I am to get into building up your character. People that blog readers may know that are in my mob include Spank, Arizona Jas, Cali Jas, Shannon Ward, and Nolan Ryan. That's a mob you don't want to step to. Or as the great Nate Dogg would say, "If you know like I know, you don't wanna step to this. It's the G-Funk Era, funked out with a gangsta twist." Nate Dizzle makes the blog on a regular basis, he owes me some royalty money. And since you're reading, you now have that rap classic stuck in your head with those lyrics.

Speaking of the old ladies, I'm no longer one anymore. After 10 years of owning a trusty Buick (the 79 Pimpmobile and the 03 Regal), it's time to give them a rest for a bit. I went with a silver 07 Jeep Grand Cherokee Rocky Mountain Edition. The long description always is funny to me. I can't see me getting a brand new ride because once you drive it off the lot, it seems that $10,000 is chopped off. This way, I went with one that had low miles and loaded up just how I like. Satellite radio, sunroof, and whatever else. I may end up putting a touch screen in it for the dash, but haven't made my mind up in that direction yet. It won't be nearly as good on gas, but I don't drive too far anyways, so that's not a big factor to me. Everyone cries about gas, but they still have to end up getting it anyways. Well, I guess you could bike or walk, but you know.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: Arizona Jas is back at doing her thing. She's sending a youngster. Don't worry, she's legal, but already a filthy girl. The taglines on her pics will crack you up on the ego she has. And after you look at her, it shouldn't surprise you that she's pregnant. Kids these days, hah. Apparently, now that I got word from Kristen in the mean streets of Germany, this dirty's page is now private. It wasn't earlier in the week when Jas found it, ugh. Maybe we'll change it, but for now I'll keep it as is. Here we go:

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: This video has a cop showing some kids about guns and ends up accidentally shooting his leg in front of them. Doh, you fool. Why have it loaded anyways?

3 Quick Thangs:

1. Let's try some birthdays for Monday, July 28th. I was going to try Sunday, but that list was so bad that it wasn't even worth wasting the time to type it out. So we move on to Monday instead. Bill Bradley, former NBA stud and now politician, 65. Actress Sally Struthers goes for the big 60. I think she gains 300 pounds everytime she does a new commercial. Hey, I just call em as I see em, it just doesn't look healthy. Baseballer Vida Blue, 1971 Cy Young and MVP winner, 59. Lori Loughlin, Becky in the Full House days, 41 and has to be on the MILF list for most guys. Elizabeth Berkley, Jessie Spano of Saved By The Bell and getting naked in the terrible Showgirls movie, 36, wow. And we end with a blog reader, Becky in Kentucky, she's doing it for her 25th on this day. I can pull the birthdays from anywhere, it's always a surprise.

2. Last week I hyped up Run's House if you weren't already part of the program. This time, I'm going to hype up a show that comes on directly after Run's House. It's called Buzzin'. The basic story is of this hip hop dude named Shwayze from Malibu, California. Not from the rich streets, but from a trailer park and he's trying to get out. He's joined by Cisco who does his beats and is part of the song Buzzin' (a la the show, which is catchy), but I assume others as well. Shwayze's tour manager, big boss, and others of the "posse" are part of the show too. It doesn't sound like much, but at least from last week's pilot, it seems like a good cure for boredom.

3. Here's one I never knew, but do now. You've all tried SPAM, but do you know what the greasy "food" in a can stands for? Shoulder Pork and hAM. Now you know.


Ms. Jazzie said...

This seemed like a short blog but I looked back and I guess it just flowed.. :) I really liked it and it was entertaining. Luved it!!!! Go Mob!!! :D

Anonymous said...

Hey Bird!

What's the name/league of your #balls Cyberdunk team. We Germans wanna whoop your ass in a friendly exhibition matchup.


Anonymous said...

by the way, I own a team in the 1st division, it's called W├╝rzburg Pioneers!

Bird33 said...

What's up Dom? Good question there, I didn't know you were a Cyberdunk dude, but here's our info..

Canada, Division 8
Toronto #ball Stars
That's our crew with all of the #basketball/Lobstah guys.

Then my other dude, the 7'4"/280lb giant from Ghana, he's in another league. He's in Norway, Division 5 with the Kristiansund Bears.