Friday, July 04, 2008

Busting Skulls on Bee Sunglasses

4th of July is in the air. People are blowing their hands off with fireworks, getting arrested with DUIs, and all of that fun action. Things are going smooth here as usual, the summer schedule I'm getting quite used to. It's pretty rough going to bed when daylight hits after being on here all night and battling in video games and waking up at like 2:00 PM. Wake up to workout and run, then do it all over again, the excitement, let me tell ya. As Corndog would say, that's the life indeed to be had.

What better day of the year to watch the greatest movie of all time? I've stated my #1 movie in here a gazillion times, but it never gets old. How else can you get into the mood on the 4th? There's only one possible way and that is to watch The Sandlot. Even if you don't have the time to watch the entire movie, at least get to the part where the kids run through the streets to get their eat on, then go straight to the sandlot and watch the fireworks go off as they play. People always say they wish they were like 21 years old or whatever for the rest of their life. Not me. To that question, I'd pick 10 years old or so every time if given the opportunity. You had zero responsibility and got to play ball from daylight to dark. You just do your thing, did whatever you wanted in those days and life was grand. Then again, I'm always in a good mood anyways, so life is grand for me now, but you know what I mean. So yep, go watch The Sandlot, I won't argue with you on this one.

Last Saturday was my second trip of the year to Pittsburgh to see a Pirates game. We left too late to see the BMX kids tear up the city, but it was still another quality trip. On the trip for this one was Big Cork and Kristin. They played the Tampa Rays, the current holders of the best record in ALL of baseball. That sentence seems weird, so I had to read it again myself, but the Rays are no joke. Those kids can ball, even though half the fans don't even know they exist. What's a brother gotta do to get some respect in baseball? Who knows. That's what the Rays ask themselves everyday.

We had some of the better seats I've had in scenic PNC Park. We were 3rd base line about 15 rows and up. For only $24, you can't beat that, baseball ticket prices are affordable. I still prefer the left field homer seats to these, but either way, get me in the stadium and I'll sit anywhere. Inside the stadium had a few interesting stories though and that's always fun. First, when we got there, this woman about 50 years old was probably 10 seats away from us. I like to scout the area and as I'm scanning her section, she has her finger jammed about 3 feet up her nose. Not only that, but she then pulls it out and starts to examine it for about a minute. I kid you not. Not that I cared one way or the other, but come on woman, get with it. Do that somewhere else. Then during the game, this chick about 25 years old was in the section to the left of us, same level. A line drive smokes off a bat and she gets rocked square in the jaw. Dang! The fans didn't know what to think. Somehow, this chick manned up (girled up?) and continued to sit there the rest of the game. The staff threw up these little flags for someone to come to the rescue. They brought her some ice packs and she did her thing.

Two rows in front of us (all of this action happened near us, good times) the drama began. We didn't get the entire story, but this white guy was with his white chick. A black dude was behind them. I'm just setting up the scene. Then we notice the whitey stand up and told the black dude to bring it. The black guy stands up and tells him to bring it on. On first impression, neither of these bums wanted to fight, but I guess the whitey had to step up since his chick was beside him. I guess the guy behind said something to the chick possibly and then the black guy called the whitey out for it being racial and then security got involved. They had troubles separating these guys and the fans were eating it up. Why I didn't get a video of this, I have no idea, I fail at that one. Both guys ended up being talked to and basically kicked out of the place. The funny thing in all of this to me was the fans in our section. As these idiots apparently weren't fighting and wanted to act all bad, which neither were, the drunks behind us lit into them hardcore as they were blocking the view of the game. You'd hear things from them like "Shut up! Hit him in the face if you're gonna stand up! Get it over with! We can't see the game! Fuckin' sit down! These guys aren't gonna fight! I'm gonna come down there and fight em if they don't sit down!" Of course, you gotta egg that stuff on, just to see a story out of it.

On the way home, it was of course a trip to our Waffle House. I had the trusty camera along with me. Two of the three chicks in the first picture were working that night as well. I wondered if they even remembered and then brought out the old pics on my cam to show one. They remembered us right away. A buddy of mine told me that we made their time at work much better just for being goofballs. If that's the purpose I can bring, so be it. The pics have been a hit on my pages and I just like the randomness in all of it. I was thinking up ideas for the pic to get this time. I decided to ask one of the waitresses for her hat, I grabbed a coffee cup, armed myself with a spatula, and a wet floor sign. I was just going to stand there like that, but one of the waitresses wanted to be in the pic, so why not? Hah. Another part is that I may have had the best bacon in my life that night, they cooked it up better than those TV cooking shows ever could.

What else is going on? For those who know me, I'm online constantly it seems. Like there is anything else to do around here, but it seems I'm ate up with it more than the average person. I'm addicted to enough things online, so I certainly didn't need another, but I tried anyways. I've been with MySpace for a long time, but never dipped my beak into Facebook. I know most of you guys have been on there for what seems like 10 years, but I kept my schedule how it was. So far after about a week or so, it's a pretty good place and easy enough to navigate through. Most people there are on MySpace too, but you see some randoms that aren't, so you can snoop all in their business. Isn't that the point of those pages anyways? You spend hours looking at jokers that you'd never talk to in your life, yet somehow it's still interesting. If you want to add me on there (if you're worthy that is, just messing), just find me with the email I use for it, It's a good time killer, so might as well go for it.

I like to throw in valuable wisdom from my crew to spice things up a bit every so often. Plus, you might even learn something from these characters, so get ready to take some notes. Some of this information should be charged to you, but since I'm a nice guy like that, I'm sending this out free of charge. That's how we do things around here. This piece comes to us from The_Freak. You all know and love him, as he makes regular appearances around this place, so here is his latest:

The_Freak (11:23:33 PM): I'm seriously going to bust skulls of the MySpace bulletins I always get.
The_Freak (11:24:58 PM): This one broad on my MySpace, she has those big ass sunglasses on. Sorry, I don't want to fuck a bee.
The_Freak (11:28:41 PM): I have no doubts in 22 years she's banged 120-160 dudes.

That's a warning to all of the dirties out there. The_Freak isn't messing around with this one apparently, the dagger has been thrown. He's out to bust skulls or maybe even smash those bee sunglasses into pieces. I think I've probably wrote on those things before. They're definitely weird, but I guess the chicks love em. I don't hate em as much as The_Freak, but they just kind of make me laugh. Some girls can pull it off, but most look like they are wearing sunglasses made for one of the heads on Mount Rushmore. Instead, you get these wee little chicks, 100 pounds soaking wet, and these glasses are like 3 times their size. Oh well, to each their own I guess huh?

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: She doesn't really look that good to me, but she sure is dirty, so that'll be worthy this time around. The_Freak might have to bust her skull up, but I'm sure she's been around the block. Here's the July 4th girl:

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: A quick clip here that is even better on the slow motion part of things. We have a anorexic chick trying to shoot a Desert Eagle gun. p0wned!

3 Quick Thangs:

1. We'll jump a day and go to Saturday, July 5th. Not much a celeb, but a name to some I guess. We start with Huey Lewis of yep, Huey Lewis & The News fame or fameless. He's 58 on this day. Baseballer Goose Gossage, pimp mustache and all, 57. Edie Falco, better known as Carmela Soprano, she's 45. I would've guessed a bit older, but I'm always off on those things. Unfortunately, that's all I can do for you today, that's pathetic. I don't make the birthdays up, that's just how they fall. July 5th, NG, no good.

2. Today's knowledge to feast on: The first car law was passed by the state of Connecticut. In 1901, the speed limit was set at 12 miles per hour.

3. In Kasher's "Ranking the 43 Idol Women in Order of Fuckability" chart, we're getting very close to unveiling #1. It's gotten tons of debate on our message board, but that's the reason Kasher put it up there. I'll recap the past few to give an idea of what's going down: 15. Brooke White, 14. Camile Velasco, 13. Lisa Tucker, 12. Kelly Clarkson, 11. Jasmine Trias, 10. Syesha Mercado, 9. Lindsey Cardinale, 8. Ryan Starr, 7. Melissa McGee.

I'll post some comments, just to give an idea and something for you to laugh at. Cover your eyes if you're offended, but you know you wanna read what the crew says as a small preview:

DerekHood on Jamine Trias after he gave a short opinion on her singing: "But we're not wasting time here judging the talents of these sluts, we're here to talk about their fuckability – and this bitch has got plenty of that. I believe we're creeping into 'I'd jerk off to non-nudey pics of her' territory very soon."

Kasher on Melissa McGee: "It is arguable that Melissa McGhee had the nicest rack in the history of American Idol, which has earned her the nickname Tits McGhee from her diehard fans. She just needs to pose nekkid in Playboy or release a sex tape on the internet and I will be happy."

TheAnswer on Brooke White: "r u f'n kidding me with brooke white? 40 mightve been too high for her. she has a wholesome family values vibe, not a damn thing sexy about her... i think its a stretch to even say she's cute. Christina christian below brooke freaking white.. no way"

1 comment:

Kristen said...

Loving the random Waffle House pics! And you put us right in the staduim with you in Pittsburgh...:)

I'm so addicted to the Idol girls's quality.
Good stuff here, as always. Take care.