Wednesday, May 20, 2009

5 Years? Who Would've Guessed?

This Thursday marks five years since I've been rambling on about anything and everything in this space. It's hard to believe and time flies. Hopefully I can keep going at it. I'm talking like I'm some aging football veteran who is hanging on till his final days of his career as he's banged up. We'll keep plugging along. I don't have anything special planned for the 5th Year Anniversary bash, so I'm going to conduct with business as usual. I'm typing this section right now early in the morning with a cup of coffee. I don't even really care for coffee, but I might as well crank a cup in me to get me going in the morning when I don't sleep enough. At least it's loaded up with sugar. What do we have in store? We're going with two movie reviews, an annoying commercial, a visit from Corndog, drivers going ballistic, and much more. Onward!

I watch entirely too much TV, but you'll have that. If you watch TV like I do, you'll know this commercial I'm about to mention. It's a new one for Panasonic, one of their Viera TVs. Towards the end of this commercial, they show a YouTube video playing of a hamster doing yoga. I guess some might think that's funny? Anyways, as this hamster is doing its thing, these idiot girls are in front of the TV acting out the same movements of the animal. This part alone has me never wanting to buy a Panasonic Viera in my life. I want to bash in the TV with a bat when I see this come across my screen, it's that bad. Maybe I'll try that one day. Even I'm allowed to get violent every now and then. A big thumbs down to the yoga hamster girls, stop trying to be funny.

This story is being sent to us by none other than TyLaw in Canada. Some of you have probably already stumbled across this blurb, but it might be noteworthy for some of you. This kid from Sickles High School in Florida (a real place Matty Cakes, imagine that) was in a pic in the yearbook with her pottery club. Pottery club? Ok, to each their own. Anyways, the pic ends up showing her wearing no panties. The video to this will crack you up more than the story. The girl claims she didn't want her panty lines to show and says she didn't do it on purpose. Speaking from a guy's perspective, I'm going to call her out on this one and say she's lying. I could be wrong. The mother blows up and demands the school board stop sending out copies of the yearbook. It's going to get out on the internet anyways, not like she's going to stop it. The school board's argument is that it only shows a shadow and doesn't really show much. What does TyLaw say on the situation? Here is his uncensored quote, verbatim: "I'm sorry how is this the fault of anyone but this girl? WEAR UNDERWEAR WHEN YOU EXPECT TO GET PHOTOGRAPHED YOU CUM DUMPSTER! Also, like this is ruining her life, she's in the pottery club already." If you're curious for the video and the funny comments of the kid and her mom, check it out:

You want a movie review? That's what you're about to get. Just keep reading.. there it is! What's the movie? Fighting. This was one I was interested in seeing when I first saw previews. I made plans to go see it at the theater, but never got around to getting someone to go. Instead, we'll use the trusty internet and check it out that way. To start, Terrence Howard is in this movie and he almost always delivers. He played his role very well I thought. The casting I felt was strange. The star is Channing Tatum, better known as Tyler Gage from Step Up. His rival? Brian J. White, better known as Sylvester from Stomp The Yard. So we have a fighting movie with two pretty boys that have had key roles in dancing movies. Interesting. Either way, I can see why they were chosen as it seems that most chicks I talk to about this movie are all about Tatum. The actual fighting in this movie could've been done much better and more of a focus needed to be put into mixed martial arts if you ask me. On the chick scale, Zulay Henao (weird name) is fairly nice herself. I didn't mind the movie, it's worth watching, but then again, I like the type of movie anyways. My score? We're going with 5.7 guillotine chokes out of 10. For what it's worth, IMDB has it ranked at a 5.0 from their readers.

It's time for the regularly scheduled moment with Corndog. What's he have up his sleeve this week? He's giving us a great time killer, at least it was for me. What I'm talking about is this link of funny mug shots. It might not seem like much, but give it a chance and before you know it, you'll be going through these pages. For example: #6 (he might be dead), #9 (Is she doing that face to be funny or is that her real self? Ouch.), #10 (Devil Boy), #13 (humongous head and chin), #20 (what a total mess), #25 (that's a human?), #27 (what is that?!), and even some real life pirates with #30 and #31. There's 84 to go through and we have some total characters that you'll enjoy. Here's the link:

Not that many people care, but I'll write about it quickly instead. New video game time for me. As most know, I've only played Call of Duty since November and still am big into that game. This Sunday, during the NBA games, we get a preview of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, nice! On Tuesday, I had to load up and get Punch-Out for Wii as I mentioned. I'm sure it won't hold my attention how COD has, but I'm true to my old school roots and if you're a Nintendo fan, you definitely loved Mike Tyson's Punch-Out back in the day. How is this one so far? After a day of playing it, it holds very true to the old style. The classic characters are back with their same personalities and actions. Game play is great and you don't have to use the dumb swinging motion with 2 hands, you can play regular style with the remote going sideways if you want and that way is smooth for this game. It seems a bit easy after a few hours of playing, but it's been a blast and so far has given justice to the old school fans, go get it.

I might as well throw in another movie review. Two in one week, the madness going on around here! I hadn't heard of this movie before, but one of my kids at school recommended it and I checked it out. It's a 2005 movie called Dirty Deeds, also known as Dirtier Deeds since there was a movie back in 2002 of the same name with different plots. Right away I'll say this one is a lot better in my opinion than Fighting. If you're into the comedies as I am, this one will be right up your alley if you haven't seen. If you like the American Pie type joking around movies with juvenile pranks, watch this one if you get a chance. The preview on IMDB even quotes American Pie: "An American Pie-like teen comedy in which a high school senior tries to become the first student in years to complete the Dirty Deeds, an outrageous series of challenges that must be completed by the Homecoming banquet at 9 a.m." I'm not sure I'll ever grow tired of these types of movies. I'm not sure what that says for myself considering I just wrote a paragraph on video games as well, but so be it. Anyways, Milo Ventimiglia is the main guy in this movie and apparently he's a fairly big name now as he's been in Rocky Balboa, Heroes, and Gilmore Girls. He was a good cast for his role here and played it well. The lead chick, Lacey Chabert, if you don't know her, you need to. I'm never short of an honest opinion, but this chick is high quality in my book. She looks a whole lot like Jennifer Love Hewitt and that comparison you have to be halfway nice I believe to live up to. I'm rambling with this review, so it's time to judge it. I'm giving it a high rating of 8.2 deeds out of 10, I liked it that much. Maybe you will, maybe you won't, but give it a try. IMDB has it at a low 5.7 at the moment.

Here's a quick one on my way home from work the other day. I'm normally a patient person, but when I'm in the car or people aren't doing things the right way, I don't have time to wait. This guy was in front of me most of the way home and I could tell he was in a hurry. I wanted to get home as much as the next dude, but I was just doing my thing, being laid back and not having it bother me. The car in front of this guy was creeping along and going crazy slow. You've all been behind those people, almost daily. Anyways, I did get some entertainment out of the scene. This dude in front of me starts to flip out like a madman because the guy ahead won't go any faster. His hands are out the window and he at one point at a stop sign sticks his head out and starts screaming like an idiot at the guy to get him to speed up. It didn't work, but that made my ride home much easier. He caught me laughing at the scene and that eased him a bit and he just sort of laughed back at me, knowing he was being an idiot, but that it happens. The joys you see while driving around, you never know what to expect. Plus, it never gets old to see someone have a roid rage out of nowhere and you just get to sit back and watch the implosion, as long as you're not too directly involved.

Since Corndog provided us with some good laughs in the paragraph earlier with the mug shots, we'll end the top half with more words of wisdom from Corndog, as we go straight to Logan County. In this random bout of action, he tells us how he tried to be a nice guy and buy his dad some dinner:

Corndog: story time.
Corndog: me and dad been working on this house every day when i get off of work. i get here ive been buying us dinner and have it waiting on him
Corndog: today i bought him a whopper and fries and had it sitting here
Corndog: he calls and said..what are you eating? i told him i bought him something. so he asks what it is and i told him
Corndog: "i dont want that. Im stopping to get me something" was his exact quote
Corndog: aint that something
Corndog: buy a man a meal and he refuses it

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: I'm looking for a new name for this section since we've changed it up from the beginning. We rarely have any thuggish chicks in this slot and I'm not an early 90s gangsta rapper for the other word to fit much, even though I listen to that stuff.. This one comes to us from Arizona Jas. She hasn't contributed in a few weeks, but she's back in action. This time, we go with a rare older chick and she's straight up a rough and tough one, 36 years old from right up the road in Erie, PA. Some of you people might have seen this woman before. Here is what Arizona Jas says: "I dont understand why people would pay to look at that.. she's.. gangly." She's definitely getting a vote in here to be put up, so we'll throw her in the mix:

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: We'll talk about Mr. T in the next section, but I'll fit him in here as well. This video is so bad as far as his talking that it's good. I don't think he breathed during this entire thing. Plus, the grr things are so random and weird. I don't think he even knows what he's saying during most of this:

3 Quick Thangs:

1. We haven't done birthdays in a while, let's get it started. Thursday, May 21st.. The main man of pimpin' R&B music in my opinion, Ron Isley, 68. How about Mr. T turning 57? MMA announcer and brother of Michael, we have Bruce Buffer touching down at 52. Baseballer Kent Hrbek, 49. Rosie O'Donnell, 47. Ferris Bueller Matthew Broderick is also 47, dang. MTV Real World and Grind guy in the 90s, Eric Nies, 38.

2. Uh oh.. a little road trip is in the works! This one will be to see how the fans of Cleveland treat LeBron like a god. I've seen it several times already and it never gets old. This though will be my first ever NBA playoff game in person, so it should be a fun time indeed and I can't be anymore excited. I'd be more excited if my Celts would've been there this round, but I can't have it all. I'll be in attendance Friday night. Next week I'll have a report of course.

3. A few facts you might find useful. Then again, you might not. Each year, more than 50,000 people are injured by jewelry in the United States. Really now? Want another to end with? The odds of being killed by falling out of bed are one in two million.


ManDingo said...

congrats on 5 years, no way i could stick to doing that on a fairly regular basis for that long...keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

Birdman. You are awesome!

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