Provolone Cheese & Gold Medals

How many out there are big Olympics fans? Wherever you are, you can at least relate to them. People from all over come in to read the blog. I didn't say that there's a zillion people reading, but at least they're from all over, so I'll take what I can get. I always start out slow and then after a while I pick up and start to watch a lot more. It's a different type of sports deal if you ask me. I'm a huge sports guy, but a lot of the Olympics sports we only hear about or see on TV once every four years. I mean, seriously, does water polo even get on TV other than this? Synchronized swimming? Synchronized swimming is a "sport"? Get out of here.



Some may want my opinion on the main Olympics story. Some may not, but I'll give it regardless. What that is would be Michael Phelps. I keep up with the hype, but I didn't actually watch one of his live events until the 7th gold medal. This guy is a total freak of nature, I'm going to give him that. The comeback in the 7th race against the Cavic dude was pretty impressive. The media is all over this guy's nads of course and it makes a great story. I'm not debating that. What I will debate is how they are saying he's the greatest "athlete" of all time. Really now? I'm not one that is going to say that swimmers aren't athletes because they definitely are. I will debate that he's the greatest athlete ever. By far the best swimmer ever? I don't even know swimming and I'd say that has to be true, but he won't get my vote for best athlete of all time. Actually I don't have a vote on that off the top of my head, but it'd have to be someone that is awesome in multiple sports. Still, the kid is pretty amazing for what he does.

I must've been really bored the other afternoon. I caught myself sitting around for a while watching chicks fencing. Apparently it's not even called fencing anymore? NBC was calling it "sabre" the other day, weird. Or is that a branch of fencing? I have no idea and you don't either and won't see it for another 4 years. And how about those 9 year old Chinese gymnastic girls? That's just wrong. Those chicks are 60 pounds or whatever and no way they're of age. I mean, even most of our chicks look like wee little girls, so hard to tell what kind of rules are being broken. I feel with that, if I watched it, it's similar to the Little League World Series. Now that is awesome as it's going on this weekend, but when I think of Olympics, I think of big people for some reason, not little kids who haven't hit puberty yet.



This is going to be a sports filled blog, but I'll have a variety, so you should find something that keeps your interest. Our softball season ended on Saturday. I keep everyone updated on the happenings. We played a doubleheader on Friday and it was pretty bad to be honest. The first game we got beat 13-3 and the second 11-1, both ending in 10-run rule games after the 4th or 5th inning. The first game was by far the worst fielding our team has had as a whole in our short history. Not to mention that our bats weren't doing much. I was happy with my games that night, but when a win doesn't come through, that's bad times. We weren't nearly as good as last season, when we finished 3rd in the tourney. Saturday was the tourney. We finished the season I believe in 8th Place. What kind of prize did that get us? It got us a 9:00 in the morning start time to open the tourney. No joke. It was about 50 degrees when we started and was pretty cool for this time of year. People came with towels around them, so cold and I even brought coffee for the trip. I don't even like coffee is the bad part, that's how warm I wanted to be I guess. Plus, the store was out of hot chocolate, ugh. I ended up getting this stuff that was called 100% Columbian blend (it was probably made in Montana for all I know) and I put 2 packets of sugar with some Irish creme in it. Not good, but like I said, it was warm.

What was the problem with Saturday? Not only did most of us wake up at 7:00 to gear up for the action, we didn't even get an official game in. One of the rules is that there must be 5 chicks present. Another rule is that once playoff day hits, you can only play the people that have played a certain amount of games for it to be legit. In other words, you can't bring some stud college baller in to play who hasn't suited up all season. Fair enough I guess. We were one girl short and that had people all kinds of fired up. Still, I wasn't about to drive 45 minutes for no reason and not get any kind of game in. The team we were scheduled against, their team showed up with the full roster, imagine that. Anyways, they were good sports enough to get in a scrimmage with us and then they advance with the forfeit. It wasn't a lost day after all, but it would've been nice if the game had counted and to see if we could advance and go on a playoff run like we did last summmer. Hopefully we get to rock it again next summer, I'm down if so.



You know one thing I never understood? That is bass in cars. Don't get me wrong, a quality system is usually a good purchase and I have one myself, I'm not arguing that. Maybe I'm weird on this, but I'd rather hear my music instead of a bunch of junk rattling around. I know it's a younger kid thing, but if I have my stuff jamming, I want the sound quality to be clear versus something just booming. It's funny when you see people with cars around that barely get up the road, but when you get near them, it sounds like someone is inside shaking around 500 empty aluminum cans. That appeal is not for me, maybe I'm old. Now, if you want it as loud as it goes so people can actually hear the music you're listening to, I don't have one problem with that. I might not like the music you're rockin' out to, but if I'm 3 blocks away I'd still rather be able to know what you're listening to, not the beer cans shaking.

Saturday night was long overdue. We haven't hit up Japanese in a while, so I was ready to get into that. On this trip to Shogun, we rolled 6 deep. Not as big as our normal crowds, but it's still a great time either way you go. In attendance was Ozzie, Maria, Kari, Cakes, Cork, and myself. I order my usual as I'm set on that. Filet done medium rare and scallops. Also you get the choice of noodles or rice (I go noodles here), traditional soup, and ginger salad. Everyone else demolished their food and I was wondering how they ate it so fast. I never finish my stuff here, so there's always some giveaways afterwards for the ones still hungry. That's what my buddies get pumped for, hah. Extra food for them. After that, we roll to Ozzie and Maria's new place that I haven't seen yet. I was definitely impressed, this is a long cry from Shinnston. They could have 12 kids and still have room to run around like crazy. My favorite part of the place was either the party shower upstairs or the refrigerator. An awesome TV and everything else, they're doing up big. It's gonna be some place when everything is set inside. Also on this night, I get word that I'll be in Ozzie's wedding next summer, that should be pretty good times. This will also be the first wedding I've ever been in, so that's something to put in the stat books. Weddings usually don't do much for me, but family weddings I actually don't mind one bit. Plus, I get to be in this one, so that's an added incentive for me to get pumped up.



Now it's time a video game update. Most of my video game crew has already been updated on this, but it can't hurt to explain it again. I picked up Madden 09 for 360 on Tuesday and am satisfied with it. The graphics are really smooth and I'm digging the online play a lot. There's no lag and so far, no punks have quit games in the middle of it just to do it. My offense in this year's version, beyond terrible. My D holds up fairly solid, but I can't put big points on the board for the life of me. I did join a 32-man online league. The concept is awesome, but actually setting it up is a task. The good thing is that if one of the league members is online at that time, you can play anyone at any time. The bad thing is when you go to send a league game invite, I'd say 90% of the time that person is already in a game at the moment. They aren't going to drop out of that to be a punk to someone else just to get a league game in. I wish it told you if they were busy or not, actually in another game or could jump right into a league game. It'd be easier to schedule that way. I'm rambling, but I'm liking it so far. It's weird not having Madden's voice as part of the game commentary, but I guess we'll have to adjust. As usual, if you want my 360 gamertag, it is Bird33WV.

How about another movie review? Yep, twice in one week, so hopefully I'm back into the movie scene. Last year I went a bunch like I've noted, but this year so far, not a ton. I need to catch up. On Sunday, I went with Ashley (not the same Ashley from the blog last week, just to confuse everyone even more) and we went to watch The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. I've never seen any of The Mummy movies before, but figured I'd check this one out. I recommend it for sure. It is 2 hours and kept me interested the entire time. The storyline is pretty good and things were well done. On a rank scale, I'm giving it a 7.5 and one you can watch again. I liked Step Brothers better, since it's my kind of movie, but this one is filled with action. On the movies coming out soon, I'm interested in Death Race and Babylon A.D. You can go wrong with some Jason Statham and Vin Diesel movies if you ask me.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: This one is interesting to me. First, she's a bit older. Second, she's a mom and right beside her kid pics she has pics of her being dirty and then a folder of her tats all up her body. Chinese symbols up her back for a whitey chick? I guess I need to get out of more, but I never understood that one at all. http://www.myspace.com/shan007

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: We go to the blog's video producer, Kasher for this entry. It keeps getting taken down on different links due to copyrights, so I hope it stays up for a bit for anyone to see. If you have a weak stomach with injuries, this one might not be for you, but it's pretty wild. It's a guy mangling his elbow during an Olympic weightlifting event. It gets all out of whack. I couldn't imagine the feeling, but here's the clip:





3 Quick Thangs:

1. We'll go with some birthdays to feast on. We'll jump to Tuesday, August 19th for the action. We start out with a big name, a former president. That'd be Bill Clinton, he'll be 62. He doesn't seem that old to me. Staying in politics, Al Gore's wife Tipper, she hits 60. Football old man Morten Andersen, 48. Uncle Jesse Katsopolis, also known as John Stamos, 45. Chandler of Friends, also known as Matthew Perry, 39. Tennis chick turned announcer, Mary Joe Fernandez, 37. Rapper Lil Romeo, son of Master P, 19. That's a pretty solid list if you ask me. Also, a few days early, but I'll get it in here, time to wish my boy Spank a Happy 28th for his birthday on August 21st.

2. Today's little fact? The number of births that occur in India each year is higher than the entire population of Australia.

3. I was telling some of my people last night that I'm a beast at making sandwiches late at night. Last night's creation? Bologna, salami, provolone cheese, hot mustard, pickles, black pepper on Italian bread with a side of green olives. Now if that doesn't sound good to you, then I'll gladly eat it myself. It went well with some peach tea and BBQ chips.

Cage Fighting Step Brothers

This should be one of those easy blogs to write since I have a good bit of stories from different variations to get out there. In this one we'll get to talk about the past week of course. A quick preview shows that we'll get into one of the longest sleeps I've had in quite some time, a Circuit City marathon day, out to the movies, a rare bar appearance, cage fighting in Ohio, Red Lobstah, Waffle House, Starbucks, and MUCH more! You know based on that you're ready to sink your teeth into this blog. Or better yet, feast your eyes on the text if nothing else



I've been wanting to put a new stereo in my car, so I went with an in-dash touchscreen Pioneer model. It's a pop out and has all the options, but that's not the story. I take it in to Circuit City on Tuesday to get it taken care of. I go at 3:00 in the afternoon and drop it off in the garage. They told me it'd probably be an hour or so. With that, I just drove myself and left the car there. I walked down to the hill to eat Arby's (best fast food place I always say) while taking my Wrestling Observer Newsletter with me to kill some time to read as I ate. Then I ran across 4 lanes of traffic, always fun, to hit up Staples. While there, I got some ideas for back to work in a few weeks and talked to someone I worked with there, that also killed some time for me. I walk back over to Circuit City and this was around 4:30. By the time I got out of there, it was 8:30, no kidding. I could've called for a ride for someone to pick me up, but from what they were saying, it'd be done in no time, so I did the marathon. It was brutal as I can't stay still, so I'd either be walking around, reading my wrestling and MMA stuff, or listening to the iPod.

Oh yeah, I didn't even mention that they didn't finish the job on Tuesday. I'm not much on cars, but something how I needed an extra fuse attached and to come in on Friday when the big chief comes in or pay more somewhere else to get it done before that. I figured I'd wait. Besides, the big chief and the other guy working took care of me as far as getting me in and knowing what was up, so I just stayed there. Friday I roll in at 10 in the morning and went home not taking chances I'd be there all day. As soon as I get home, they call and say to pick it up, imagine that. Either way, it's in and even with all of the pain and me being impatient, I'm digging it a lot. Today's moral with that story? When people give you a time that something will be done, don't always take it for granted. Regardless, the Circuit City guys did their thing and was probably a lot cheaper than going to some rich boy place to get the same job done.



I haven't done a movie review in a while, so I'm well overdue. Last year I hit up a good bit of movies. This year, as Borat would say, not so much. Shawna came into town last week, so we went to hit up Step Brothers and whatever else action we could get into the rest of the night. She had already seen it once and liked it so much that she wanted to go a second time. It seemed like my kind of movie on paper, so I was in for sure. Give me a stupid comedy with not much plot and I'll probably like it more than the average viewer. I know Will Ferrell is the same character in every movie, but it worked for this one and then some. Him and John C. Reilly together are a riot. I ended up giving this a 7.6 out of 10 and one you need to see, you'll be rolling the entire time. It's not a movie you want to watch with the family though, it'd surprise ya how over the top the language and it being so vulgar, but again, that's my kind of movie, it gets me laughing.

After going out to eat some Italian and hanging with some buddies as ours as we watched some football, it was time to head back to Shinnston. We didn't feel like getting into much that late at night after running around Clarksburg most of the day, but Ashley kept texting and wondering what was going on. Most know I'm not a bar guy at all and Shawna didn't want to hang there either, but since Ashley hadn't seen her in a while and the bar was closed except for a few local legends, we figured we'd head in. All night it was a running joke that Shawna didn't text Ashley about who she was with and stuff and wanted to keep her thinking just because. I guess that's what girls do? Who knows. When she called and said we were about to walk in, I said that Ashley would be more surprised I was coming into the bar rather than I was with Shawna. The words out of her mouth when she first saw us cracked me up, "What the fuck is Ed doing here?" A quick trip there and without it being crowded to where you have to scream at someone 2 feet away from you, not too shabby at all.



Saturday and me and Spank had a little road trip planned the whole day. Cage fighting in Ohio, how can you go wrong with that? We leave town around noon and it's about 2 hours away to St. Clairsville, Ohio or so. We got in the area way early as we like to do and I wanted to check out the casino and dogtracks just to say I've been there. I'm not a gambling guy at all, but the complex is big time. One guy asked for my ID and he saw 1979 and didn't know what to think. He did a double take and said that can't be right, hah. I've never been to Vegas, so I know this is very small time to it, but it reminded me of a little Atlantic City. It was funny to me how you roll through this dirty area of Wheeling and then you look up less than a block away and there's the casino. I watched probably 4 or 5 dog races and that was just fun to watch. I didn't throw any bucks down, as I'm a cheap Italian when it comes to betting (can't beat the system unless you're blog reader TheAnswer), but it was something to see for a bit before we ran out. I also checked out the poker room and then it's ridiculous how crazy some people get on playing machines. It's like their coke, it just never appealed to me.

As usual on our road trips with us two, it has to be rap all the way up and back. We don't get to do that in any other cars with our crew, so we take advantage of it. We were starving, so it was time to hit up Red Lobstahhh. For once, we didn't have to wait when we went. We walked right in, so that helped things out. No big stories here though, but I ended up getting salmon and crab alfredo linguini. It was good in my book, no complaints. We were near Starbucks and Spank was wanting to hit that up. I'm not a coffee guy at all or any of their stuff actually. I've been to a few with some buddies before, but don't think I ever ordered a thing. Spank, by the time we were out of there, cranked through 4 different large drinks. I guess he'd be awake for the cage fighting show, that'd do it. I was bored and got a banana/chocolate smoothie. It wasn't bad, but with the espresso added in, it had too much of a coffee taste, so that didn't help things for me. It reminded me of a protein shake, so I was able to drink most of it, but don't see me getting it again.



After hanging around some of the fighters earlier during weigh-ins, and then getting back from eating, we're back at the Carnes Center to gear up for the show. This was around 6:30 and showtime started at 7:30. Spank works with a guy named Kenny and that was one reason we went to the show. We ended up getting ringside tickets off of Kenny's parents and they turned out pretty good. The setup of the arena was much better than I expected. I figured it'd be a dump, but this place was like brand new. I'd guess it held about 1200 people and it was jammed packed. People were paying $20 just to stand up. Before I even get into the show, if you've never been to a MMA show before, you must go see it in person, it's off the charts. The crowd reminded me of a mix between a Toughman crowd and a great indy wrestling show. It's nowhere you'd want to take a chick in other words.

The promotion Hard Knocks Cage Fights brought a good product. You can see their website at: http://www.hardknockscagefights.com. We got to see about 20 fights and it was all out action. Some guys didn't belong there, but the guys that really were on their game brought it and showed they have talent. In my opinion, with MMA, if you have a legit wrestling background, you have a decent chance of success. Sure, you can be a big slugger or something of that like, but I still like the odds of a wrestling or submission specialist to come out on top most times than not. Kenny was impressive as he made short work of his opponent. In the 145 pound class, he took this guy to the mat immediately. After that, they stand up and then Kenny finds the arm, drops to the ground while the guy is standing and is cranking on it with a smooth armbar. The dude had to tap out in no time as it was pretty sick. In all of the fights, I think we only saw 2 decisions all night. Some guys got jacked up out there and it gave for quality action I'd definitely go to again. The best fight of the night, some locals may know one of the names. He is Ronnie Green out of Wheeling. I'm guessing he's about 21 or so and is now the Featherweight Champion after his win. He was a 3-time WV state wrestling champ and him and Davis Sosa put on a clinic. They went to a split decision war and the crowd was pumped.



To the awesome crowd, the main event was the topper. A local guy by the name of Travis "The Terror" Clark is this guy that is tatted up to about every inch of his body. He was there selling merchandise and all of this and a guy we talked to who had been to the last show said we had to see his entrance and how the crowd goes insane for him. He came out to Walk by Pantera and that just got the crowd amped up the way it is. For the wrestling fans, you know how that one does from the old ECW days when Rob Van Dam would come out to that. Me and Spank both think that the guy they had him fight was just a tomato can, but either way, the crowd didn't mind. I'd say 95% of the people were just going ballistic for this guy and it blew me away how he was like a semi-god to these people. He came out and just busted this guy up bad and everyone left happy due to it. I had my cam on me, but didn't even think to get video of this part of the night. Actually, for the trip, I didn't get hardly any pics, I slacked on that one.

Some out there are wondering how the "Cage Girls" were at this event. For as good as the event was, these girls were beyond terrible. I just call them as I see them, but I wasn't the only one who thought so. Now I'm not expecting anything major out of some dirty ring girl, but these had no business up there. It was a running joke in our section as we'd be laughing at how bad their dancing was, how they'd do the same things, and that they didn't get a ton of reaction. Imagine that. It's bad when someone is out there bouncing around in a bikini and a lot of the guys (or chicks for that matter) don't even care.



On the way home, it was Waffle House time. The waitresses/cooks tonight were new ones we had to break in. We didn't plan anything this time, but it was some chick and this older pimp guy. They were waiting on the morning paper to get there and when the paper woman stopped in, they were pumped. Interesting. The lady comes in and he gets all excited and they give her free coffee. While we're eating, we're the only ones there and they go in the back and read the paper. Nothing wrong with that at all, plus the pimp would always make sure things were right for us on how he cooked it and that. You don't get that in some rich boy restaurant, dude was on his game. We hooked them up with a pretty good tip. I've talked about tipping before, but Spank is in the same mold as me with that. It doesn't have to be too crazy, but hook these people up, they aren't making a lot to begin with and gotta bust their butt. One thing I've cussed about before is the gratuity, which Waffle House doesn't do, but Red Lobstahhh does. I know most people can't be trusted to leave a good tip, but ugh. That's just an insult. We compared the tip thing on the way home to get gas. I absolutely hate when you pull into a prepay gas station. What am I gonna do? Just drive off like some bandit and not pay for my gas? I figure a few people may do that every so often, but come on people, that rarely happens. Then you try to guess on what it takes to fill up and it's never close and you still gotta walk away fired up at the pump. You gratuity and prepay gas people, stop with the insults and treat us like regular bums, you'll get your money regardless.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: http://www.myspace.com/ms_sandy_bacon

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: This was sent in to me by Corndog a few weeks ago. For some reason, I can watch flippy type moves and tricks all day and not get tired of it. Damien Walters is the guy here if you haven't heard of him, just some amazing stuff:





3 Quick Thangs:

1. We'll jump to Wednesday, August 13th for the birthday update. We start out with Fidel Castro, he's now 82. Danny Bonaduce of the Partridge Family and reality shows, 49. Former M's and Yankeees player Jay Buhner, him and his bald head are 44. #basketball alum, TyLaw is also doing it today for his 26th, have a good one man!

2. I haven't done a sleep update lately. I'm still on a weird schedule and I'm sure that'll change just a big come work time, but I'll adjust. On Tuesday night, I went wild and had 12½ hours of sleep straight, that's getting it done in a major way.

3. Today's fact to gain some knowledge? A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.

The Graffiti Chef

It's been a minute, but it's allowed every now and then. As my summer is nearing an end, things are still going down in the area. As usual, I'll have to bust out the stories and get the text flowing into your brains.

A quick softball update. Somehow, our team is still in existence. After the melee last week, we push into the playoffs in a few weeks. An update on the ejections is that Posey is now done for the season and is off the team. He has Friday night poker action to back him up, so not all is lost since he won't be able to get in the rest of the softball games. He's able to joke about it and it gave us some good stories, so you can't go wrong. We only have a few games left anyways, but still. This past week, we had a doubleheader, won the first one 17-4 and got beat in a heartbreaker in the second, 12-11. Playoffs are on August 16th, so it's flying by for Dyno Nobel. We're now 5-7 on the season, not where we want to be.



I'm sure it's been in the blog before, but it's time for a return. That would be Yahoo Graffiti. To people that unfortunately haven't played that game before, what it can be compared to would be Win, Lose, or Draw, or Pictionary, the same deal. Back in the days of #basketball, the greatest chatroom evarrr, we'd schedule late night battles in Graffiti. I know, it doesn't seem like much, but get together a crew of your people and go at it. I'm beyond terrible at drawing, but it's still a blast and people get into it. Blog contributor Corndog (he'll be back later in the blog too) is the man at this, to the point we call it CornArt when he draws. Saturday night we played till around 3:00 in the morning and featured a crew of Corndog, The_Freak, Commish Kasher, Blahah, TheAnswer, and myself. It's tough to describe if you haven't played with your crew before, but you should check it out.

It's fantasy football season. Maybe a bit early, but we had our big A#FL draft on Sunday. We bring it with this league. It's 18 members deep and is a keeper league. We keep three players and I go with Tom Brady, Thomas Jones, and Greg Jennings. Then we had a 12-round draft in mIRC. The draft itself took a whopping 4 hours, it's serious. The thing I like and I know I sound like a broken record (kiddies don't even know what that is) is that I'll put our #basketball crew's fantasy leagues up against anyone out there. In most leagues, you'll get half the whiners quit in mid season or before and give up. In these leagues, even though they are free, they're the most competitive leagues I've been in. You can be in dead last and you're still into your team just as much as Day 1. Enough of that, here is yourrrr 2008 Cincinnati Celtics!



QB: Tom Brady - New England
Alex Smith - San Francisco

RB: Thomas Jones - New York Jets
Matt Forte - Chicago
Dom Rhodes - Indianapolis

WR: Greg Jennings - Green Bay
Reggie Brown - Philadelphia
Laurent Robinson - Atlanta
Arnaz Battle - San Francisco
Brandon Lloyd - Chicago
Will Franklin - Kansas City

TE: Vernon Davis - San Francisco
John Carlson - Seattle

K: Nick Folk - Dallas

D: Seattle

I'm happy with my bunch there for the most part. I'm on lock with Brady at the helm, dude is not to be messed with in fantasy stats, especially against other quarterbacks. Now watch him get mangled this season. I'm also a huge Thomas Jones fan and still am very disappointed my Bears just let him go for nothing, ugh. I went with a few homer picks in Matt Forte (RBs in this league when I drafted was fairly thin, plus he'll get a lot of carries) and Brandon Lloyd of my Bears, plus former Irish players Arnaz Battle and John Carlson. My wideouts are inexperienced and I'm banking on some treeeemendous uppppside potential as they say. A third of my roster is Bears or Niners. They could combine their teams and still be garbage. I hope I'm wrong on my Bears though, but that's just how it is.



Onto another supplement recommendation. I've been hearing a lot about it, so I figured I'd try it out. What that is would be Altered State and it's from Muscle Asylum. Before a workout, you crank some of these horse pills in you. Then later sometime, you take another serving. I tried it on Monday and was jacked up almost immediately. With only one day to try it and I haven't bought any yet, just sampled, I can't give any comparisons to NO-Xplode. If you're wanting to be all hyped up and have veins popping out everywhere when you're working out, this stuff seems legit. The downfall is that it's pricey, but you pay for some good quality.

I'll give a quick blast from the past as far as music goes. While running and mowing grass the other day, I put in some Raekwon The Chef into the iPod. If you're any kind of a true rap fan, you'll know all about the 1995 release of Only Built 4 Cuban Linx. I defy you to find one bad song on this entire CD. I'd go as far to say that it's probably in the Top 5 rap albums of all time. As an added piece of information for the sports fans, boxing guru and sports radio guy Max Kellerman calls it the best album evarrr. To get you started, try to find Verbal Intercourse featuring a 21-year old Nas as well as Ghostface Killah or Incarcerated Scarfaces. You won't be disappointed. And if you've never heard any of this CD before, my deepest apologies are out to you.



The random late nights for the summer are coming to an end, but we can't stop. Puff Daddy would say the same as he bounces around in a goofy neon outfit and dances like a goofball. It never gets old to me to see Puff "try" to dance, it's good entertainment. Anyways, there's other entertainment to be had. Corndog works midnight shift at his job and gets bored from time to time. Out of nowhere, he'll send emails of some sights he sees. Among the latest pics is a guy he works with who looks exactly like Randy Moss, a guy in front of him at McDonald's who was ordering tons of food for him and his kids at 1:00 in the morning (I'm sure those kids will be winners when they grow up), an ancient lady being the outside delivery runner at a fast food joint who was as slow as it gets, and many others. I'm all about random to begin with, so when these come through, it's something that maybe I'm the only one laughing at, but it works for me. You know you'll be trying that with your buddies while you're out crusin' through town. Crusin' for a bruisin'.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: The creator of this segment is here to dedicate a girl to us this week. That'd be none other than The_Freak. She gets it done big time with her folder of "My Photos". She's also one of these girls who has a gazillion pics too, which can get annoying, but she works it. http://www.myspace.com/jackieandbrendan

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: This one comes courtesy from Corndog. He's all over the blog this week. I got a kick out of it myself as I've never seen it before. Basically, we have 7 year old kid who stole a ride. The kid cracks me up good. "I wanna do it because it's fun. Fun to do bad things. Drive into a car."



3 Quick Thangs:



1. People are screaming for birthdays, they're not able to handle over a week without them. Due to the requests, I better get to typing. We'll try Tuesday, August 5th. Rocker Rick Derringer, basically remembered as the creator of Hulk Hogan's theme song, Real American, he's 61. Maureen McCormick, better known as Marcia Brady, she's now 52, wow. Psycho Tawny Kitaen (baseball fans will know her stories through Chuck Finley, or Chuck Kitaen) goes for her 47th. Patrick Ewing, 46. MCA of the Beastie Boys, 44. Then it's also my boys Nolan Ryan and Walz's 28th birthdays, they're doing it up big there, have a good one guys!

2. In the fact today that you wouldn't know.. apparently dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.

3. I'm still in search of new mob members for my Mobsters crew in MySpace. It's not an app you'd have to have advertised on your page, you can set it to be invisible. It's a good time, take my word on that. Get on there and add me to your mob, you have nothing better to do. Plus, you might end up liking it, imagine that one.

Anger Management

I haven't blogged about the softball squad in a while. Usually it's normal duty and nothing too far out of the ordinary goes down. First off, even if you're not a softball fan, stay with me for this story, you'll get a nice read for some over the top action. I don't even have to tell much about the actual game, scores or any of that. I think the stories alone should cover that part up and then some. Other than that, going into this blog before Friday night, I was short on stories and they always come through at the perfect time to give me something to write about. Plus, I have some pressure from Posey and Trev to detail it good in this one, so we'll see. Corndog, thanks for the bum pic, you're doing big things down there in Logan County.



The question is, will Dyno Nobel's season be finished up earlier than expected? Why do I ask that? We were getting beat by a pretty good team on Friday night. We then started a valiant comeback and had some life to the team. That's always fun to be in the fight late in the game. A foul ball is hit by the opponents and it goes near the fence on the 3rd base line. Mule is pitching. He goes running like a machine and jumps into the side of the fence and makes a web gem catch. As he made the amazing catch, he spikes the ball down and asks the ump how he likes that foul ball. A play or two before that, there was a controversial hit down the 1st base line that the ump called fair. Cork and Mule both got on the ump for it, while Trev was with me beside the fence on the line and he thought it was a fair ball. Who knows, but that pressed it with Mule to do what he did with spiking the ball, which was somewhat just in a matter of cheering until things heat up. After that, the ump throws Mule out and Mule snaps. He basically tells the ump he'll fight him after the night's games are over and all of this. The ump then tells him to leave the premises. The ump is a little dorky guy in his mid 40s or so who was wearing a facemask for slow pitch softball. He thought he was a professional ump with his actions too. Mule didn't leave the premises by the way as I guess the dude couldn't force him away, but Trev took his spot in the game.

Are you still with me? That's just tame to what happens with our next incident. We're batting now. Posey is on 2nd base and Rach is on 3rd. A fly ball to center is caught. Posey runs back to 2nd to tag up and then him and Rach take off. Posey ends up scoring with some quality speed. The opposing 2nd basemen then calls an appeal and says that Posey didn't get back to the base when he really did. The ump then calls him out without really seeing that part of the play. Uh oh. Posey then storms to the ump, stumbles in the dirt on his way there (had to be there to appreciate that) and turns into George Brett. For the non-baseball fans, search for George Brett's pine tar incident in 1983. He gets all in the umps face, bumps him, starts kicking dirt at him and the whole nine yards. F-bombs are flying, he wants to fight the guy and is just raving. I'm sitting on the side and just wondering what in the world is going on. The ump tosses him of course and then it heats up even more.



The ump threatens to call 911. That's how he said it too. He said he was with the district attorney's office and was acting all bad for a little geek. Posey then asked him where his boyfriend was or some variation of that line. By this point, it's way out of hand and I'm beginning to think it was a dream. Meanwhile, the other team probably doesn't have any idea what is going to happen next as it was just a melee. Posey had to be held back by not only our players, but a dude from the other team too. The funny part is that Posey afterwards was saying that he's too little to whip many people, but he knows he could've clocked a 40-something nerd ump and have him out for the count. At the end of it all, Posey is out there with his shirt off while Trev's Dad is just loving the entire scene, that part did crack me up. Trev, I think he had more fun than anyone there during that whole scene.

As I'm typing this part up late Friday night, we're awaiting word from the big chiefs of the league to see what happens next. We have a game scheduled for 5:00, but it's in doubt. I was talking to Cork tonight on the phone after the game and we both would be very surprised if our team was allowed to play anymore this season. The ump was calling bad calls all night on both sides, I will admit that much. The way I look at it though, and I guess I'm different since I'm always laid back, is that go for the fun. We're in a co-ed softball league where most of the people playing aren't much at all. I want to win as much as the next dude, but what a story this gave me to tell. It sure beats the normal schedule we have in the big town here. We go out of town to play softball and it gets people roid raging and going insane, good times.



After the game, we make our second stop of the evening to our traditional Go-Mart in Morgantown. Posey is random like me and will talk to anyone just to get a story out of them. We've made buddies with an older lady. What's up with the random older ladies I'm around lately? Either way, Posey gets a kick out of this old woman and she smokes on her break outside and we BS with her. This was the same woman that Posey hyped up the story a few weeks ago of me not writing about his spectacular catch in left field on the blog. Now it's a running joke to stop there on the way home to tell her about our games. She was loving the stories from tonight and Posey is a quality storyteller since he can ramble on and on like me. By the time the quick stop was over, we had her hating the ump and wanting to go beat him down. So there you have it, a quick recap about ejections, 911, threats, shirts being torn off Hulk Hogan style, and then wondering if it all just happened or not. Anger management classes will be in session soon for our softball team, it's a fine line to walk. :)

Now onto some other tidbits. For the MySpace crew, which is just about everyone and their brother, you need to start playing Mobsters. Some reading are already in my "mob", but it's easy to do and fairly addicting. If you're into the MMORPG type of games, this will be right up your alley. There's a lot of options on MySpace with apps, which I don't do many, but this one is worthy. If you do decide to play, feel free to add me on your mob so we can just do our thing and load up on crew members. Again, it's real simple and you don't have to be ate up online all the time like I am to get into building up your character. People that blog readers may know that are in my mob include Spank, Arizona Jas, Cali Jas, Shannon Ward, and Nolan Ryan. That's a mob you don't want to step to. Or as the great Nate Dogg would say, "If you know like I know, you don't wanna step to this. It's the G-Funk Era, funked out with a gangsta twist." Nate Dizzle makes the blog on a regular basis, he owes me some royalty money. And since you're reading, you now have that rap classic stuck in your head with those lyrics.



Speaking of the old ladies, I'm no longer one anymore. After 10 years of owning a trusty Buick (the 79 Pimpmobile and the 03 Regal), it's time to give them a rest for a bit. I went with a silver 07 Jeep Grand Cherokee Rocky Mountain Edition. The long description always is funny to me. I can't see me getting a brand new ride because once you drive it off the lot, it seems that $10,000 is chopped off. This way, I went with one that had low miles and loaded up just how I like. Satellite radio, sunroof, and whatever else. I may end up putting a touch screen in it for the dash, but haven't made my mind up in that direction yet. It won't be nearly as good on gas, but I don't drive too far anyways, so that's not a big factor to me. Everyone cries about gas, but they still have to end up getting it anyways. Well, I guess you could bike or walk, but you know.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: Arizona Jas is back at doing her thing. She's sending a youngster. Don't worry, she's legal, but already a filthy girl. The taglines on her pics will crack you up on the ego she has. And after you look at her, it shouldn't surprise you that she's pregnant. Kids these days, hah. Apparently, now that I got word from Kristen in the mean streets of Germany, this dirty's page is now private. It wasn't earlier in the week when Jas found it, ugh. Maybe we'll change it, but for now I'll keep it as is. Here we go: http://www.myspace.com/sexmonkey_89

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: This video has a cop showing some kids about guns and ends up accidentally shooting his leg in front of them. Doh, you fool. Why have it loaded anyways?





3 Quick Thangs:

1. Let's try some birthdays for Monday, July 28th. I was going to try Sunday, but that list was so bad that it wasn't even worth wasting the time to type it out. So we move on to Monday instead. Bill Bradley, former NBA stud and now politician, 65. Actress Sally Struthers goes for the big 60. I think she gains 300 pounds everytime she does a new commercial. Hey, I just call em as I see em, it just doesn't look healthy. Baseballer Vida Blue, 1971 Cy Young and MVP winner, 59. Lori Loughlin, Becky in the Full House days, 41 and has to be on the MILF list for most guys. Elizabeth Berkley, Jessie Spano of Saved By The Bell and getting naked in the terrible Showgirls movie, 36, wow. And we end with a blog reader, Becky in Kentucky, she's doing it for her 25th on this day. I can pull the birthdays from anywhere, it's always a surprise.

2. Last week I hyped up Run's House if you weren't already part of the program. This time, I'm going to hype up a show that comes on directly after Run's House. It's called Buzzin'. The basic story is of this hip hop dude named Shwayze from Malibu, California. Not from the rich streets, but from a trailer park and he's trying to get out. He's joined by Cisco who does his beats and is part of the song Buzzin' (a la the show, which is catchy), but I assume others as well. Shwayze's tour manager, big boss, and others of the "posse" are part of the show too. It doesn't sound like much, but at least from last week's pilot, it seems like a good cure for boredom.

3. Here's one I never knew, but do now. You've all tried SPAM, but do you know what the greasy "food" in a can stands for? Shoulder Pork and hAM. Now you know.

Hangin' With Old Ladies

Some people go to Vegas, the Bahamas, or even Australia for a road trip. I'm not the world traveler most of you are, so my "road trips" consist of me going to Pittsburgh, PA on a regular basis. I know I need to get out more, but that's how it goes for a small town guy. If I can find this many things to write about living here, why move? Yep, I'm considering for this space, a 2 hour trip, into something that's even bigger. These blogs are always the easiest to write, but end up being very long. Then again, a lot of people say they enjoy the reads on those as their favorites, so we'll keep the style going.



Last Saturday is the time frame that most of this blog will cover. Along for the trip was Spank and it was just a 2-man trip. I know what you're thinking. It can't be much of a road trip filled with fun stories with just two people, but I'm here to prove you all wrong on that thought. We wanted to make a day of it instead of arriving at the game right when it started. To me, that's not getting my money's worth. I want to be around the city and see what's happening through the day. Before that though, we began the day by getting in a 3-mile run. We normally run on our own, but when we run together, there's the extra push and competition level, so you always get more out of it. We set a good pace and that got our blood flowing for the trip. A quick shower and then Spank comes to pick me up afterwards to start the journey. With me as the passenger, the ride should be much safer.

We pull out of scenic Shinnston around 11:10 or so after downing a quality protein shake. I've hyped up the Pro-NOS before, but it's worthy as being the best tasting protein I've had along with 44 grams of protein per serving, that's getting it done. Since I didn't have to drive this time, I could just kick back and have less responsibility. Musically, Spank is one of very few people I know who has the same tastes that I do when it comes to that. We got to rock the Sirius satellite radio and that's another must for every car. The entire trip as far as the radio was concerned dealt with Hip Hop Nation, Backspin (old school rap), and ESPN Radio. I could write a whole blog on the rap of the road trip, but I know that'd bore 90% of the people reading, so I'll keep that to myself. You'll get more rap with some new CD additions towards the end of this blog anyways. I can't leave my rap supporters in the dark.



The locals know the normal route to Pittsburgh. Instead of taking 79 the entire way, we got off the Washington exit for something different. We planned to hit up the mall, but never got around that. We kept driving and after a while we saw signs that said Pittsburgh was near, so we kept following Route 19 up there (not to be confused with Route 19 near my town, nice). We started to get hungry and I'm the type to try new things. We saw this place called StonePepper's Grill and another that was called Linguini's. They were near each other, so we pull the U-turn and need to decide. We pull out a coin to flip and StonePepper's it was. Boy did we make one excellent choice. We ended up getting filet, a side of spaghetti, and a salad. By far some of the best filet I've ever had and you have to get it no more than medium rare, I won't argue that. The great thing to us is that they cut it up. We always joke around the house that we wish we had someone just to cut up our steak to take the work away from us. StonePepper's must've known we were coming. That's always an inside joke with us since we were little because way back in the day we had steak at his Dad's. We both looked at it and didn't have a clue how to cut it. Cork's idea for those type of things is to hire a midget to do odds jobs around the house and it be somewhat like a butler. Probably degrading, but Cork says it'd be a hit. It ain't a hit unless Nate Dogg spit.

We finally get to Pittsburgh. Route 19 takes you right into the city out of nowhere. We arrive around 2:00 or so and have time to kill, just as we planned. It was 90 that day and smoking hot, but we weren't dripping like most others were for some reason. After walking around, Spank had a new idea he wanted to try. We're random guys to begin with, but he then strips down to his boxers in Downtown Pittsburgh and jumps into the river. People in the boats were already swimming in the water, so why can't randoms like us just do our thing? Point well taken. The people around got a kick out of it and when he got out and back into his clothes, with it being 90, he dried off in no time. Spank says if you can have that kind of time sober, what's the point of drinking? I've been saying that all my life.



All in all, we walked 3½ hours straight without sitting down. Most would be miserable doing that, but I can't stay still to begin with and I like to just see bums and talk to whoever out of nowhere. Pittsburgh isn't nearly what it is farther up north, but as I always say, the farther south you go, the more friendly people are. As an older blog would back me up, people in New Jersey for the most part are punks. Some of these people we talked to had to be shocked we even started a conversation or asked how they were doing. Nobody else is going to talk to some of these characters, so we might as well brighten their day. Plus, we can usually get some good stories out of it too. They must dig the hick accents we bring along. 75% of life is being able to talk some game and have fun with it, whether that be for a job or going up to some dirty girl, it works out. As far as the randoms outside the stadium, we saw Spank's boy Jamal riding around in his garbage cart around PNC Park. He was thrilled that we had the old pic still on my cam and that we wanted another. Then Spank found Street Sweeper Guy and got a pic with him as well. These people are barely getting by in life, making a few pennies a day, so we try to pump them up just because. You have to respect that, they grind it out. Most people feel they are too good to even talk to the working class. I can get along with just about anyone, so it's tough for me when I'm around worthless stuck up people who think they're better than the world. We also saw two kids rolling around on the hot concrete with no shirts on when it was 90. I couldn't figure that out, so I had to get pic of that too.

Speaking of dirty girls as mentioned a bit ago, Pittsburgh needs major work in that department. I'm serious. Spank gave a stat that day which I have to agree with him on. He said that 80% of the girls in Pittsburgh are beyond terrible. 15% are just ok and 5% are good. You don't see great. I mean, do they hide the decent girls there in closets or do they just not exist? There was one chick out of everyone else's league in town and that was this girl who was running on the river. Well, she's not Jesus and actually was on the water, but you know. Anyways, in crazy good shape, long dark hair, and stacked. Sign me up. Other than that, it was brutal. Per capita, Shinnston has them rocked and that's not saying much at all because our town doesn't have many to brag about. There's some, but they're few and far between of course. And if they do look good, they're probably strung out on meth or with 8 kids from 6 guys, some kind of nutzo baggage. Hey, we just call them how we see em. You don't have to like it, just state your opinion and have fun with it.



We got our tickets early that afternoon and go after our favorites. I've sat mostly everywhere in PNC Park, but if it's up to me to pick, I always go with the left field homerun bleacher seats. Also, they're just $14, that's a steal of a deal, for real. All of that even rhymed, not too shabby. You end up with some characters out there who just tell things how it is. It was also Bucs Beach Towel Day, so we walk out with freebies. A bonus in that I used the towel for my seat to give it cushion because it's rough without something. As an added trivia note, the Pirates have the most promotions of anyone in the league. They still can't get anyone to go to the majority of the games. Then again, when you field a group of guys who are below average (even if their guys really fight hard and battle it out), you're not going to be high in the standings ever.

I've written this much and I still haven't even gotten inside the stadium yet, ouch. I'm going there right now. We were inside around 5:00 or a bit after and the game didn't start till 7:05. We just chilled out and ate a bit near the food areas. Obviously I guess that's where you'd eat, but who knows. Anyways, we were at a table that had 4 seats. Every other table in the area was taken up and here come these two older ladies and they asked us if we minded them sitting with us. Of course we don't care, we'll at least talk to them and see what kind of stories they have. We got to talking and it we find out they're from the mean streets of West Virginia. As an added incentive, they were also hardcore Notre Dame football fans. From that point, we knew they had to be good people. They asked where we were from and all of that and Spank figured he'd try something. Usually when people from out of the area ask where we are at, we name cities around us they might know instead of our actual since we're in a tiny town. He told them what city and one woman knew instantly all about it. We were shocked and then she went into this story of how she used to dominate the Shinnston girls in fast pitch softball back in the day. One lady also asked what our jobs were. I said I was a teacher and she looks at me like I was weird and says, "You're just a kid!" It's coming, one day I'll look way old I'm sure, but I don't mind the kid comments every now and then. It was time to go to our seats, but the old ladies were laid back and did their thing. I knew I had to get a random pic since that's our m.o., so I asked if they would oblige. They then come back and say only if we can get a pic with their cam too. We found a lady walking by and had her take pics of the four of us with each camera, good times indeed.



Guess what? We're finally ready to watch the game. We saw some insanity. 10 innings of madness as the Bucs love extra innings. They were getting smacked by the Cards for most of the game. As usual with teams who have tradition, there were a ton of Cards fans in the house. It reminded me of the Cubbies fans last year, these teams travel all over. Late in the game, it started to rain, but we just stayed put and let it pour. The comeback starts up and those bums who ran away are back in the seats, so we had to heckle them for that. Bucs were down 10-4 and they started bringing it. Still, it was way out of hand, yet the crowd was going nuts. I say it all the time, but if this team ever put some actual money into the team instead of having a softball level squad that they have now, the city would support it like no other. For the past almost 20 years, they've been the laughingstock of the league, get with it Bucs. We were sitting beside this guy that was about 25 or so and his chick (she was about a 6.8 for those keeping track). We got to talking and I asked where they were from and all of that. He said they were about 20 minutes away from Pittsburgh and I told him we were WV boys. He figured we were from there since we had the big accents. That always cracks me up, 2 hours north of me. It's not like I went to Canada, but I know we sound like hicks. A lot of people around WV don't think they have an accent, but they're just as much of a hick in sound as the rest of us, they need to realize.

We end the trip of course to a filthy Waffle House, the only way to do it. I figure out that we tried all of our creativity at Waffle House for now and need to move on with other random pics. We'll get more there, but for this one, we kept the camera off and sat there in a coma after all of the walking and action of the day. I ended up getting a ham and cheese omelette, some of the best bacon man can buy, great sweet tea, covered hash browns, and toast and jelly. Tear that stuff up. Spank had about 4 cups of coffee with his food. Now that I spent 90% of this space talking about just one little trip, it's time to go to something else. That would be the new CDs and the usual ending we like to do around here. I haven't listened to all of these CDs yet, but we still mention them as usual until doing so. I've been through Banner and Nas so far.



David Banner: The Greatest Story Ever Told. I've always liked Banner's style a lot. In this one, he didn't come across as hard as I would've liked (no homo), but if you like Banner, it's good. Tons of people on this one, which I always like it with less, but he brings along UGK, Akon, Lil Wayne, Snoop, Yung Joc, Chris Brown, Carl Thomas, Jim Jones, Chamillionaire, and Jazze Pha. My favorite of the album would be I Get By featuring Carl Thomas.

C-Murder: Screamin' 4 Vengenance. C-Murder is doing his thing right now while on house arrest. He has another murder trial set in the fall to see if he has to be behind bars for life. Reviews of this one say it comes from the heart, so we'll see how rough this one gets. Along for the ride is Krayzie Bone, Mia X, Papoose (whose chick Remy Ma is now locked up for supposedly shooting her best friend that is still alive), Slim Thug, and C-Loc.

G-Unit: T.O.S. - Terminate On Sight. I heard the other day that the sales of this CD were terrible. They were arguing on the radio whether this was the downfall of G-Unit or not. Sales are going to be down these days due to the internet, so I don't look a ton into that. I don't think Yayo, Buck, and Banks are huge sellers though, but are good guys to have in the background while 50 handles the work.

Killer Mike: I Pledge Allegiance To The Grind II. Mike brings some heat to this one with the names of Ice Cube, Shawty Lo, Messy Marv, Chamillionaire, 8Ball, and MJG. URB Magazine gives this quote: "4 stars out of 5 -- Killer Mike's rhetoric is really something fierce. His fire and brimstone isn't just smoke and mirrors either, as Mike's bars pack an intellectually angry punch reminiscent of Ice Cube in his prime."

Lootenant: Lil Flip Presents Second In Command. If Flip is involved, I'm probably interested. He's been around since he was a kid and is all about the business, yet keeps it true at the same time. As noted in a blog a while back, if you haven't heard any of it yet, pick up the Flip and Young Noble CD, one of the best of the past few years if you ask me. I'm going on scratch here as I haven't heard a lot from the Lootenant of the Clover G's, but I'm willing to give most kinds of rap a try.

Nas: N. This is the CD that created all of the controversy due to the previous name. Nas still sticks by his reasoning, but it has people talking. Most places have it as an untitled name. On the front of the CD it has Nas with a big N cut into him. As far as what this album brings, it's true Nas. He again shows why he's a legendary rhyme slayer, one of he best there is when it comes to lyrics. One of the best rap albums of the year right here.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: http://www.myspace.com/jenny36

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Dude busts his head after a front flip attempt. Listen to the sound as he hits, it's messed up:


3 Quick Thangs:

1. Birthdays for Friday, July 18th. We start out with Dodgers manager Joe Torre, 68. Vin Diesel goes for 41, getting old. One time basketball sensation, Penny Hardaway, 36. I never like going with total bums, but we were only able to pull out three that were worthy on this day. Ones that missed the cut include Steve Forbes, Ricky Skaggs, Dan O'Brien of Dan & Dave fame of the Olympics, and Ryan Cabrera.

2. Today's little fact? At birth, a panda bear is smaller than a mouse.

3. A new season of Run's House has begun. Now that Real World ended last week (doh), this will be my Wednesday night action at 10:00 on MTV. You can't go wrong with one of rap's pioneers in Run who can still get it done along with the cast of characters in his house. It's recommended if you've never seen it before. Rap, hot legal daughters, funny kids, and cameos from all sorts. It'll hold you down till the next season of Real World begins, straight from Brooklyn for the 21st season.

Ladder Golf, Dirty Gaming Girls, & Haley Scarnato

Yes, we're back to fill your brains with more action. As it has been, the summer is still great on my end. It never hurts when I get to sleep in everyday and just do whatever, who can complain about that? Some of my teaching buddies say they get bored in the summer and don't like too much time off. What? They really do say that, so I'm not sure what to think. Then once school starts up, they'll be crying about how they hate work. You can't win for losing, some people just live to complain. My theory, why whine about it? The best option is to stay in a good mood most of the time because it's no fun to be down and make everyone else irritated. Since I'm not irritated here, it's time to revisit the past week in the life that I live.



Last Saturday, it was yet another cookout at Kari's. I'm getting used to these and once again, I'm a big fan of her house. This time it was a family cookout, so we didn't have Big John drooling on himself or Tommy randomly talking to himself and cracking the rest of us up. Still, that's no excuse not to have a good time. My family isn't boring, so that makes the times we get together even better. Some families hate each other and don't want any part of that stuff. They want to stay in their own house and talk about how they hate their family members. How's that possible? You might not hate em if you give them a chance and actually do stuff with them. Anyways, I was in for the cookout and it gave me something to do.

You're digging deep in with your fingernails and wondering what we did at the illustrious cookout. Hold tight I'll tell you since you're so nosy. Cornhole was played once again and that adds to the party anytime it's broken out. We didn't have enough to set up a tournament bracket as we only had two teams wanting to play, but we still got it in. Ozzie and myself got beat twice (both late in the game after we had big leads) against Matty Cakes and my Uncle Jeff. It's one of those games though that you can be terrible at and still have a blast. Then Cakes busts out a new creation that I've personally never seen. He calls it Ladder Golf, so that's what it'll go by in here as well. Think of PVC pipes put together. You have 3 levels of PVC pipes going horizontal. You have a rope with a golf ball tied to each end and you sling it. If it lands on the bottom pipe, you get 1 point, 2 for the next, and 3 for the big one. I know what you're thinking, it doesn't even sound fun. If you say that, you obviously haven't given it a try or hate your family and don't do cookouts. It's very tough actually, but I liked it either way. Again, it was only two teams. This time it was Ozzie and myself again taking on Cakes and Sister Cakes. We had to take down the Cakes Duo and got to walk out a winner. I like Cornhole better of the two, but either can bring about some trash talking at a party and some competitiveness.



A big part of my blog is about what I go through and even more about some of my buddies and what they're into. If it were about myself all the time, I'm sure I could ramble enough, but I like to switch things up. That's why it's time to promote a new blog that's out on the market. It comes from Ms. Jazzie in Cali, aka Cali Jas as compared to Arizona Jas. Confused yet? They both appear in the blog a good bit, so that's how I have to break it down to people who can't tie their own shoes and make it easy on everyone. She's back in action after doing the Xanga deal for a while and getting tired of it. Her first one is worthy of the read or I guess I wouldn't be writing about it. Since you have nothing else to do as you're reading my blog all the time, I say you can fit some minutes in to read someone else's perspective as well. It's just starting out, so don't be afraid to drop in some comments on her end. Ok, I'm getting there, you want the address. So you don't turn into a big whiner like we opened up the blog with, I better give the information. Go to The Awesome World of Jazz.

Now we jump into some video game news. I try to have something in here for everyone, that's the strategy and always has been. The last few times I've talked about video games, it has been about Grand Theft Auto IV for Xbox 360. It's an awesome game and you need to own it. I finally beat it last week after putting in countless hours being a bum and that's an accomplishment. The mission part of the game had a great storyline, but once you beat it, there's always the online part to battle in, which is also worthy. I figured it was time for another game, so I go to pick up Call of Duty 4. I know it's been out for a bit, but I haven't talked to one person that has given the game a bad review. I'm not here to give one myself as the game is most excellent. The mission part of this game, howevahhh, is very poor, but that's not why you get the game. I beat the mission in a few days, but you want this for the ricockulous online battles. Smooth with no lag and you'll get consumed with it. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not, but I can hardly stop playing it. The games are usually about 10 minutes, so you can just sit down with a few minutes to spare and get some quick games in. One of my favorite things on the whole deal is just listening to the people from all over through the headset as they try to act big and bad over the game. The other night I was in a game with an Irish dude, English chap, and a guy trying to act all hard and be a fake thug. With those three guys cussing each other in those accents, it's extra entertainment aside from the game. Also, there's a surprising amount of chicks that play. They must lock these chicks up on some deserted island because I don't know hardly any in my area that plays and definitely not a game like this. I'm real picky and not looking, but if you're one of these video game chicks that looks halfway decent, you just gained some bonus points on my end.



I'd be lying if I said I didn't complain on some random things like everyone else. That's what this space is for, but I try to speak what's on my mind instead of some garbage that nobody wants to hear. For example, not too many people want to know how bad you hate your job (most people would rather be home and laying around too, but gotta earn those bucks somehow) or how bad your relationship is going, yet you don't get out of it. I'm a good listener though, so I don't mind. One thing I do mind and I've stated this a bunch is the heat. People in way hot areas are laughing since it's a lot worse there, but I'm a cold weather guy all the way. I'm not one of these people that in the summer cries about how hot it is and they want the snow, only to say the opposite in the winter when it's snowing. The other day I had to workout, then run a few miles afterwards and finish up with mowing grass. It was about 85 that day (I know Jas, in Arizona that's basically winter) and I wasn't a fan of that. By the time all of that was over, I ended up losing 6 or 7 pounds when I got home. I know that's water since I gained it back the next day, but a guy like me doesn't need to be losing that much. I guess it shows that I got a big workout in or was just out in the heat too long, one way or the other.

It looks like we have another trip to Pittsburgh planned. Tomorrow (Saturday), if all goes right, my boy Spank wants me to go with him to hit up the best park in baseball. You can't go wrong with that and it's a short drive and always ends up as a great time. It'll be tough to top the trip earlier I had with Spank along that you all remember when it was Spank, Cork, and Kristin. That was the scene that had all of the random pics and started the Waffle House pic trend that I had on my last trip as well. I hope this trip will be filled with randomness as well, I'll see what we can come up with. As usual, I love to write about my road trips, as that gives me an easy topic to ramble profusely on. It seems the road trip reports are usually a hit with my buddies that tell me about the blog, so I hope this one will be as well.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: http://www.myspace.com/amberly_a

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: The Guitar Hero fans will get a kick out of this one I think. It's a guy in response to everyone putting up their expert videos and such, basically joking around with it. Hopefully I'm not the only one laughing at this. Judge for yourself:

3 Quick Thangs:

1. Saturday, July 12th. It's time to unwrap some presents. We start off with a legit name, Bill Cosby. He's now 71 and still one funny dude. Former Celtic Paul Silas turns 65, dang. Weirdo exercise guy Richard Simmons, he's 60 and sweatin' to the oldies. A favorite dirty for some back in the day, Cheryl Ladd, she's 57. Not a long list, but a few of them are pretty big names, so they can hold the fort down until our next crew comes out.

2. The oldest known goldfish was 41 years old supposedly. His name was Fred. I'm not sure I believe that one, but that's what is the report.

3. In Kasher's dirty Idol girls, as I type this, we've made it to the final 2 chicks. We know who they are, but just not sure what order Kasher is going to put them. To recap the Top 10, here we go: 10. Syesha Mercado, 9. Lindsey Cardinale, 8. Ryan Starr, 7. Melissa McGee, 6. Diana DeGarmo, 5. Carmen Rasmusen, 4. Kimberly Caldwell, 3. Haley Scarnato. I forgot all about Haley for some reason. I was telling the guys, I wouldn't have any problem if she was #1, she's that good. I prefer her over the top two coming up, but they're good as well.



* Baby News: I'm ending with some baby news. No, I don't have a baby on the way. One of our crew recently had a new one though, so the blog is out to send congrats. This past Monday, to one of EDDFL's own and with many appearances in the blog over the years, we go to Van Rufus to say hey to The Fortneys. We welcome Gracie Lynn to the big town and that's a future middle linebacker for the Cougars one day, the first chick to do so. Fortney will make sure of that. Anyways, everything is supposedly healthy and the hat is off to The Fortneys, nice to hear!

Busting Skulls on Bee Sunglasses

4th of July is in the air. People are blowing their hands off with fireworks, getting arrested with DUIs, and all of that fun action. Things are going smooth here as usual, the summer schedule I'm getting quite used to. It's pretty rough going to bed when daylight hits after being on here all night and battling in video games and waking up at like 2:00 PM. Wake up to workout and run, then do it all over again, the excitement, let me tell ya. As Corndog would say, that's the life indeed to be had.



What better day of the year to watch the greatest movie of all time? I've stated my #1 movie in here a gazillion times, but it never gets old. How else can you get into the mood on the 4th? There's only one possible way and that is to watch The Sandlot. Even if you don't have the time to watch the entire movie, at least get to the part where the kids run through the streets to get their eat on, then go straight to the sandlot and watch the fireworks go off as they play. People always say they wish they were like 21 years old or whatever for the rest of their life. Not me. To that question, I'd pick 10 years old or so every time if given the opportunity. You had zero responsibility and got to play ball from daylight to dark. You just do your thing, did whatever you wanted in those days and life was grand. Then again, I'm always in a good mood anyways, so life is grand for me now, but you know what I mean. So yep, go watch The Sandlot, I won't argue with you on this one.

Last Saturday was my second trip of the year to Pittsburgh to see a Pirates game. We left too late to see the BMX kids tear up the city, but it was still another quality trip. On the trip for this one was Big Cork and Kristin. They played the Tampa Rays, the current holders of the best record in ALL of baseball. That sentence seems weird, so I had to read it again myself, but the Rays are no joke. Those kids can ball, even though half the fans don't even know they exist. What's a brother gotta do to get some respect in baseball? Who knows. That's what the Rays ask themselves everyday.



We had some of the better seats I've had in scenic PNC Park. We were 3rd base line about 15 rows and up. For only $24, you can't beat that, baseball ticket prices are affordable. I still prefer the left field homer seats to these, but either way, get me in the stadium and I'll sit anywhere. Inside the stadium had a few interesting stories though and that's always fun. First, when we got there, this woman about 50 years old was probably 10 seats away from us. I like to scout the area and as I'm scanning her section, she has her finger jammed about 3 feet up her nose. Not only that, but she then pulls it out and starts to examine it for about a minute. I kid you not. Not that I cared one way or the other, but come on woman, get with it. Do that somewhere else. Then during the game, this chick about 25 years old was in the section to the left of us, same level. A line drive smokes off a bat and she gets rocked square in the jaw. Dang! The fans didn't know what to think. Somehow, this chick manned up (girled up?) and continued to sit there the rest of the game. The staff threw up these little flags for someone to come to the rescue. They brought her some ice packs and she did her thing.

Two rows in front of us (all of this action happened near us, good times) the drama began. We didn't get the entire story, but this white guy was with his white chick. A black dude was behind them. I'm just setting up the scene. Then we notice the whitey stand up and told the black dude to bring it. The black guy stands up and tells him to bring it on. On first impression, neither of these bums wanted to fight, but I guess the whitey had to step up since his chick was beside him. I guess the guy behind said something to the chick possibly and then the black guy called the whitey out for it being racial and then security got involved. They had troubles separating these guys and the fans were eating it up. Why I didn't get a video of this, I have no idea, I fail at that one. Both guys ended up being talked to and basically kicked out of the place. The funny thing in all of this to me was the fans in our section. As these idiots apparently weren't fighting and wanted to act all bad, which neither were, the drunks behind us lit into them hardcore as they were blocking the view of the game. You'd hear things from them like "Shut up! Hit him in the face if you're gonna stand up! Get it over with! We can't see the game! Fuckin' sit down! These guys aren't gonna fight! I'm gonna come down there and fight em if they don't sit down!" Of course, you gotta egg that stuff on, just to see a story out of it.



On the way home, it was of course a trip to our Waffle House. I had the trusty camera along with me. Two of the three chicks in the first picture were working that night as well. I wondered if they even remembered and then brought out the old pics on my cam to show one. They remembered us right away. A buddy of mine told me that we made their time at work much better just for being goofballs. If that's the purpose I can bring, so be it. The pics have been a hit on my pages and I just like the randomness in all of it. I was thinking up ideas for the pic to get this time. I decided to ask one of the waitresses for her hat, I grabbed a coffee cup, armed myself with a spatula, and a wet floor sign. I was just going to stand there like that, but one of the waitresses wanted to be in the pic, so why not? Hah. Another part is that I may have had the best bacon in my life that night, they cooked it up better than those TV cooking shows ever could.

What else is going on? For those who know me, I'm online constantly it seems. Like there is anything else to do around here, but it seems I'm ate up with it more than the average person. I'm addicted to enough things online, so I certainly didn't need another, but I tried anyways. I've been with MySpace for a long time, but never dipped my beak into Facebook. I know most of you guys have been on there for what seems like 10 years, but I kept my schedule how it was. So far after about a week or so, it's a pretty good place and easy enough to navigate through. Most people there are on MySpace too, but you see some randoms that aren't, so you can snoop all in their business. Isn't that the point of those pages anyways? You spend hours looking at jokers that you'd never talk to in your life, yet somehow it's still interesting. If you want to add me on there (if you're worthy that is, just messing), just find me with the email I use for it, bird33@gmail.com. It's a good time killer, so might as well go for it.



I like to throw in valuable wisdom from my crew to spice things up a bit every so often. Plus, you might even learn something from these characters, so get ready to take some notes. Some of this information should be charged to you, but since I'm a nice guy like that, I'm sending this out free of charge. That's how we do things around here. This piece comes to us from The_Freak. You all know and love him, as he makes regular appearances around this place, so here is his latest:

The_Freak (11:23:33 PM): I'm seriously going to bust skulls of the MySpace bulletins I always get.
The_Freak (11:24:58 PM): This one broad on my MySpace, she has those big ass sunglasses on. Sorry, I don't want to fuck a bee.
The_Freak (11:28:41 PM): I have no doubts in 22 years she's banged 120-160 dudes.

That's a warning to all of the dirties out there. The_Freak isn't messing around with this one apparently, the dagger has been thrown. He's out to bust skulls or maybe even smash those bee sunglasses into pieces. I think I've probably wrote on those things before. They're definitely weird, but I guess the chicks love em. I don't hate em as much as The_Freak, but they just kind of make me laugh. Some girls can pull it off, but most look like they are wearing sunglasses made for one of the heads on Mount Rushmore. Instead, you get these wee little chicks, 100 pounds soaking wet, and these glasses are like 3 times their size. Oh well, to each their own I guess huh?



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: She doesn't really look that good to me, but she sure is dirty, so that'll be worthy this time around. The_Freak might have to bust her skull up, but I'm sure she's been around the block. Here's the July 4th girl: http://www.myspace.com/angelbaby87

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: A quick clip here that is even better on the slow motion part of things. We have a anorexic chick trying to shoot a Desert Eagle gun. p0wned! http://youtube.com/watch?v=wwLQewe4TrY

3 Quick Thangs:

1. We'll jump a day and go to Saturday, July 5th. Not much a celeb, but a name to some I guess. We start with Huey Lewis of yep, Huey Lewis & The News fame or fameless. He's 58 on this day. Baseballer Goose Gossage, pimp mustache and all, 57. Edie Falco, better known as Carmela Soprano, she's 45. I would've guessed a bit older, but I'm always off on those things. Unfortunately, that's all I can do for you today, that's pathetic. I don't make the birthdays up, that's just how they fall. July 5th, NG, no good.

2. Today's knowledge to feast on: The first car law was passed by the state of Connecticut. In 1901, the speed limit was set at 12 miles per hour.



3. In Kasher's "Ranking the 43 Idol Women in Order of Fuckability" chart, we're getting very close to unveiling #1. It's gotten tons of debate on our message board, but that's the reason Kasher put it up there. I'll recap the past few to give an idea of what's going down: 15. Brooke White, 14. Camile Velasco, 13. Lisa Tucker, 12. Kelly Clarkson, 11. Jasmine Trias, 10. Syesha Mercado, 9. Lindsey Cardinale, 8. Ryan Starr, 7. Melissa McGee.

I'll post some comments, just to give an idea and something for you to laugh at. Cover your eyes if you're offended, but you know you wanna read what the crew says as a small preview:

DerekHood on Jamine Trias after he gave a short opinion on her singing: "But we're not wasting time here judging the talents of these sluts, we're here to talk about their fuckability – and this bitch has got plenty of that. I believe we're creeping into 'I'd jerk off to non-nudey pics of her' territory very soon."

Kasher on Melissa McGee: "It is arguable that Melissa McGhee had the nicest rack in the history of American Idol, which has earned her the nickname Tits McGhee from her diehard fans. She just needs to pose nekkid in Playboy or release a sex tape on the internet and I will be happy."

TheAnswer on Brooke White: "r u f'n kidding me with brooke white? 40 mightve been too high for her. she has a wholesome family values vibe, not a damn thing sexy about her... i think its a stretch to even say she's cute. Christina christian below brooke freaking white.. no way"