Narwhals, Wedding Bells, & Best Day Evarrrr

Ok, we're back to deliver something for everyone to read. In this edition we get Ozzie's wedding, preparation for my favorite day of the entire year, bashing Donte Stallworth, dog groomers, when not to leave your sunroof open, a big Philly/New York trip planned for the weekend, and who knows what else. It's time to relax for a bit, put your day at ease and read some of my latest ramblings. Whether they appeal to you or not, I guess we'll find out soon enough. If you've fallen asleep on me, I guess that's my answer.



This past weekend, Ozzie and Maria decided to tie the knot. Usually guys would care less about going to weddings and it's mostly all for the girls. I was excited for this one and I'd be honest enough to let people know if I wasn't. The reason might've been that this is the first time ever I've both been in a tux and in a wedding. I know what you're thinking, I didn't do the prom thing in high school and all of that? Heck no, dances weren't my thing. I can remember being on the court for some dances and one in particular was on Opening Night of the NBA season. That's major conflict. Luckily, they did the court things within the first half hour of the dance. I did my escorting, played the part, and once the voting was over, me and my crew were out in record time. Come on, I had a Celtics game to watch, the first one of the year and I'm going to miss that? So here I am, finally in a wedding and we did it up big. We rocked out the red, white, and black as the colors for the guys. I felt snazzy in them, but they were ridiculously hot. I felt like I'd ran all day long, we were dripping sweat nonstop and couldn't wait to start shredding layers off at the reception.

I'll back up to Friday. This was a big wedding crew, 9 dudes on one side, 9 chicks on the other, more on that in a bit. During rehearsals, the girls seemed to be on the ball of course since the wedding thing is right up their alley, while us guys were beyond clueless. We went over things twice, but figured we'd find some way to screw it all up when it was go time on Saturday afternoon. After that, we got the crew, family, buddies, and whoever else to hit up some catered food that rocked from Big Frank's. Good get on that one Maria, the food that night, thumbs up. How can you go wrong with zitis and meatballs? You can't. After that, to even top things, it was cornhole action! I've written about cornhole before in here, so I don't have to go over that, but if you haven't tried it before, you're definitely missing out. We battled until it was dark and couldn't go anymore. My game that night, not up to usual par, a bad performance, but fun nonetheless. Mudcat and myself also might have set a sweet tea record as we went wild on that on Friday and Saturday both. Yeah, we're rebels let me tell you. An open bar at the reception for people to go nuts on and we're the guys who get sweet tea. Whatever works, right?



Wedding day comes and the guys get together in the mean streets of Glen Elk to get some pictures taken. Ozzie or the camera chick, one of two, wanted us to wear sunglasses during this. Funny thing is, Cork, Mudcat, and myself didn't even own a pair of shades. Seriously, that's how often I wear shades, never basically. I know, that's hard to believe, not many others could believe us three either on that. Me and Cork got a cheap pair of what we called cop shades, the bigger cheesy ones. Not the cheesy bumblebee glasses the chicks like to wear that cover their entire face, but you what I'm getting at. I can't wait to see some copies of these. Dad was joking that in 20-30 years when we look back on those pics that we'll be dying laughing because they were so cheesy. I'm all about being cheesy, I think that's the fun part of it. Picture a group of 10 guys (10 when you include the groom himself) in random settings throughout that area. We're doing the mafia looks, the Reservoir Dogs walking scenes, shots near the train tracks, and the whole works. I wanted to get some pics with the characters in town on the way in, that would've been a treat. After we did the morning pics, we were all starving and no way could we go through a wedding and then wait till reception time to get food in us. The plan? We rolled to a nearby Wendy's. Seeing the look on people's faces when we rolled up in there wearing tuxes was worth it to me. I went with the Baconator to clog up my arteries.

Off to the wedding itself and things went very smooth. The church Ozzie and Maria had it in, a pure old school Catholic setting, so I was down for that. I was impressed with the setup and all for sure. I was even more impressed that the nine guys didn't screw up anything out of the ordinary while out there, that's a feat in and of itself. Of the wedding bunch, only Big Wes and myself had never been in one before. Mudcat counted up that he'd been in 6 or 7 over his career, dang. Get at it Mud, nice work. The question some are already asking, how were the chicks at the wedding? The bridesmaids alone, and I'll go on record on saying this, might be the best collection I've ever seen in person as far as quality goes. I haven't been to many weddings, but I'm confident to put this group up against what you have to offer. Most weren't single of course, but I'm still allowed my opinion. Maybe I'm crazy, but there wasn't one girl on that side who someone would consider ugly, not even close. Ugly might be harsh to call someone as, but even if you don't say that and hopefully you don't out loud, you at least have thought it on some girl or guy, whatever your preference. It's just how it is, the reality of it. No I'm not going to give any rankings, but I think a lot that were in or at the wedding would agree with my assessment.



I'm near ending on the wedding talk, but I enjoyed myself. I also got to experience being in the wedding party and when that happens, you're the first to be served food. I didn't even have to go get it is the better part to it. I know when you're not in the party and you're waiting for ages at the reception, it's brutal. We've all been there, just something you have to do. No waiting for me during this though, I can't complain about that. Ozzie even threw up a group shot of the EDDFL fantasy basketball league for all to see on the PowerPoint presentation, that had me pumped. It took me 30 years to get in a wedding and in November I'll be in yet another one, the madness around here. This time, we'll get to celebrate Cork and Kristin rocking it out, that's big news indeed. Anyways, they've already been told, but I'm sending the congrats out once again to Ozzie and Maria for now being officially labeled as an old married couple, even if they're not old. I'm now the last of my first cousins (6 of us older ones) to tie the knot. I keep joking that people can wait a while for that one. I guess once they have all tried the wedding deal before me, I really have no pressure to do it anytime soon. From the wise words of my Aunt Juanita at the reception, one of the funniest people I know, she says to never get married and got all mean when she said it. That had me cracking up. And also to my aunts and uncles who helped set things up, you can go ahead and chalk up a success to both the wedding and reception in my book for whatever that is concerned, good times.

Thursday marks my favorite day of the entire year. Best day evarrrrr. Yes, evar, look it up. I've been saying that for years and people can look at me as weird as they want. What's so big about Thursday? It's the NBA Draft, what else? This is a tradition of mine to get so jacked up for this night that I zone into a completely different level. It's a night I want no phone calls so don't even try because I'm not answering and to let me get all ate up with this. I'm still old school in the fact that I like to write the draft down by pencil and paper even though you can get the results online instantly. I like this night so much that I'm taking my first game off in softball for the first time in three years, the last of the bunch to take a game off. Maybe I'm the Cal Ripken of softball, who knows. I still have papers from when I was at a basketball camp when I was 7 years old. In those days, the draft was held during the day and there were many more rounds than they have now. Mom took the time to write down all of my stuff so I'd have it when I returned, even at that age I liked having the guy's name, the team who drafted them, the height and weight, as well as the college or country they came from. This continues to today and is probably one example of me having some signs of obsessive compulsive disorder, nothing wrong with having a passion, and mine is the NBA.



If all goes right, I should have a pretty big road trip blog next week sometime. After the greatest day of the year, it's time for another road trip, this one to Philadelphia. I've been to Philly a lot and love it there actually. In fact, that setting ranks as my #1 road trip of all time, taken in 2000 for ECW Cyberslam 2000. Yes, at the time, that was a big internet wrestling convention that we stayed all weekend for with people from all over the world showing up for. I could write on stuff just from that, but I won't bore everyone too much this time with wrestling. In other words, and I've probably told those stories countless times, but that was when we got to hang with almost the entire ECW roster. They are as down to earth as you can get, would eat with us, hang in our hotel rooms, and the whole works. It's a weird little cult following family and they're at it again. Saturday, they bring to us Legends of the Arena. This is getting just about all of the old ECW roster back again for one more time at the historic and legendary ECW Arena. If you're a true wrestling fan and haven't been to the ECW Arena before, make sure you put that on your list to do soon, trust me on this. I'll save storylines on this for the next blog, but my boy Spank will again be in tow for this trip, just as he was in 2000. We have special tickets that gives us the chance to be one of few who get to hang out with the wrestlers all day, eat with them, get pics and autographs, a Q&A session, a Hall of Fame induction ceremony, front row seats, and even get to take our chair home that will be signed by everyone. I know what you're thinking. Yes, I'm a total dork, but I'm not about to pass up the opportunity to be part of this event.

If that's not enough, Friday we'll have wide open for the most part to gear up for Saturday's excitement. We looked to see if the Phillies would be home that night since we're staying at a hotel right next to the stadium, but no luck there. We're going with Plan B. What's that? New York City. I've been on the Buffalo side of New York, but not this side where the action happens. I realize I'm years behind the times compared to everyone else since. Everyone reading this has been to NYC before but me, I know, but I'm testing it out for the first time on Friday. As an added bonus, I get to see my Yankees in action. I've seen them before, but never for a home game. This one won't be a home game either, but who cares. It'll add another baseball stadium to my list, this time as the Yanks visit the Mets at Citi Field, aka the new Shea Stadium. Too much excitement in one weekend for a dude in my bum town, but I'll take what I can get. Philly and NYC, get ready for the hicks to invade for a few days.



It's time for a rant. For those who don't follow football, you might not know the Donte Stallworth story. In March of this year, he was driving in Miami with a blood alcohol level of 0.12 when the legal limit there is 0.08. In his path was a pedestrian. Apparently Stallworth says that he flashed his lights before he hit him. No excuse. In the end, he kills the guy and gets busted with a DUI. First off, I'm a huge advocate against anything DUI related, yet it happens way too much. People I know have had them and I've told them the same thing, they know my thoughts on that. Anyways, what kind of sentence does Stallworth get? 20 years? 30 years? Life? Nope, guess again. 30 days! What? You freakin' kidding me? Seriously, dude gets 30 days jail time, 1000 hours community service, 2 years of house arrest, 8 years of probation, and a life-time suspension of his license. A lot of those other things are significant, but he killed a person. Yet he gets a slap on the wrist? Pure garbage if you ask me. I could keep going on this for a long time, but I might as well get onto something that will get me in a good mood instead.

I'll end with a story to make fun of myself, but might teach a valuable lesson. I don't mind making fun of myself by any means, so here's a story from earlier last week. We had a big storm last Wednesday night. I woke up early on Thursday since I was a nice enough guy to teach a day of summer school for someone who had to take a day off. I go out to my car and it's soaked with water. Yep, on the inside. What happened? Me being the idiot that I am, I accidentally left the sunroof open all night. Luckily since I'm a neat freak, I rarely ever have anything on the floors or seats of my ride. That night I didn't, but there was so much water inside when I got in, that it was a disaster area. Somehow, nothing got ruined at least, but it was a few days of cleaning it out until it was back to normal in a way. The moral of the day? Have more common sense than I do.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: I try not to go the model route too often since regular people are more fun in this section, but we can switch it up. This chick isn't really what I'd call dirty though. Apparently she calls herself The Girl Next Door. Hmm.. who's door would that be? She doesn't have a ton of pics of herself, but enough to get the job done for a look. Also, not too revealing, but once again, enough to get the job done. And for added bonus, she has a pic in there with a fake Rambo that is pretty good if I must say so, the cheesy level again. We needed that guy in Glen Elk. http://www.myspace.com/misskristinmarie

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Narwhals! The YouTube junkies have already seen this, but it's a good one. Sent in by Arizona Jas, we get this from the creators of Badger Badger Badger.. It might not look like much at first, but I bet the song sticks in your head and you watch it a few times.





3 Quick Thangs:

1. I'm sure the girls and dog lovers will be all over this show, but I've never heard of it until I saw a commercial. Animal Planet has a reality show called Groomer Has It. I'm not even sure of the whole basis, but it's some kind of competition between people that are grooming dogs. Dad was all amped up and wondered if people really watched this show. He was asking if it was really a show of people just cutting dog hair. Then he was saying that unless someone accidentally jammed a pair of scissors into a dog and causes problems, then he can't see any other reason to watch that would get people excited. And he's a guy that somewhat likes dogs. I don't get the fascination of this show either, guess I'm missing out.

2. Speaking of reality TV that isn't that much "reality", for anyone who cares.. Wednesday night, get ready! Real World: Cancun! The 22nd season and it's on at 10:00 PM EST on MTV. Be there.

3. Today's fact machine? In Kentucky, 50% of the people who get married for the first time are teenagers. Another? In 1980, there was only one country in the world with no telephones, Bhutan. I'll be honest. My undergrad was in Social Studies and I had no clue where Bhutan was until I just looked it up.

Malaysian Babies, Death of T-Pain, & Pittsburgh!

A quick preview for this edition: Pittsburgh road trip, Waffle House, Gabe Morency, hockey madness, a Twilight update, Jay-Z putting the notice out on T-Pain and his bums, and what Malaysian babies bath in. It's go time!



It's time for yet another road trip. This one is the first baseball trip of the year, a little late in the year for it to be my first, but that's how it goes. Friday was the lucky day and we had 5 in attendance: Cork, Kristin, Spank, Alicia, and myself. I played the role of the wingman as the other two are couples, something I've been very good at over the years. I again did the driving for another road trip, taking the passengers' lives in my hand. At this point, I guess they're willing to take that chance for something different happens everytime. That's my strategy at work and why I like my building so much. I have some characters in my building, but it keeps my day going and you never know what's going to go down. I could write entire blogs just on those kids, stuff that would blow your mind, but I'd feel a little weird exposing that, so I've always stayed away from writing about work happenings. Speaking of work, I've now been on bum time for the past week which means sleeping in till deep in the afternoon, fun times.

Ok, back to the trip. Luckily on this one, as compared to the LeBron trip recently, there were no malfunctions with Sirius. It pretty much stayed on five channels, none of which I'm sure the girls liked one bit. Usually I try not to rap people out too much since I'm one of few of my bunch who likes it, but Spank and Cork are also fans, so this trip I needed some to help my sanity. A road trip without rap for me is tough to handle. I let Spank handle DJ duties and we'd either have the channels of Hip Hop Nation and Shade 45 as newer rap, Backspin for old school jams, ESPN Radio, and Hardcore Sports 98. If you've never heard Gabe Morency and his Sports Rage show on Hardcore Sports, you're missing out. When he goes on a rant, it's like no other. He easily sets the f-bomb record for sports radio and will crack you up. I highly recommend it, the guy is a total nutcase, but he's so entertaining.



Our lone stop on the way up was off the Waynesburg, Pensylvania exit. Spank was craving some Dairy Queen. I wasn't that hungry, but how can you pass up DQ? They only have the best burgers known to man. Their DQ is big time and my town has one register. This place, uh oh, they have two! I hyped that up to the workers up there like it was a big deal and they got a kick out of it. More on Waynesburg in a bit. So we get into town and remember this is the same night of Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals, as Pittsburgh was at Detroit for the festivities. Ironically, Pittsburgh and Detroit were playing baseball on the same night in Pittsburgh. What's the chances? We ended up getting my favorite seats in PNC Park, the leftfield homer seats. I've sat just about everywhere in that place, but I'd take those seats anytime over the others. Besides, they're dirt cheap too.

I was surprised how many Tigers fans were at the game. The attendance was so rough that they didn't even give a number out while we were there like they normally do. We all guessed around 15,000 if that and this was a weekend night, interleague game, with it being free hat night. You serious? You really can't pack the house for that? Terrible. I know the Bucs are the equivalent of a minor league team, but you'd think the attendance would be a lot better considering it is an awesome stadium, the best I've been to anyways and I've been to a decent bit. We were saying though, look at that roster. They don't have one true power hitter and not a single go-to player. It's true, I'm not exaggerating. Being right on the wall in the outfield though, it gets no better. You're right on top of the action and get to yell at the opposing players and mess with the home guys. We were right behind Nyjer Morgan who seems to have a blast out there. He'll chat it up with the fans and goof off, something you don't see many do. On the other side, for the Tigers in leftfield was Donnie Kelly. This guy took a major verbal beating from the Leftfield Loonies, it was worthy of the seats just for that.



As the Bucs game was going on, so was the hockey game as mentioned. I'm not a hockey guy. I know what's going on, but it's not a sport I'm hardcore about like I am the others. Being in Pittsburgh that night, you couldn't help to feel the atmosphere. The Bucs crowd was quiet for most of the game, but if the Pens would score a goal, the baseball crowd would blow up and go bonkers when they found out. Nyjer was even getting into it by yelling at our section for score updates when he could. The Bucs ended up losing the game, but as usual with all trips, you get your moneys worth and then some. When the game ended, and it was one of the quicker games we've been to (it flew by), it was in the 2nd period of the hockey game.

Before I go into the hockey maniacs, I'll give a side story on our trip. We always joke around and come up with a percentage that we'll see someone we know at the game. Usually it happens, even though we're not that close to home. Spank set this trip at 33% to which I said I'd agree with that if not a good bit higher. We're in the Pirates team shop and loading up on shirts and things and the percentage gets broken fairly quick, before the first pitch. This is where I get back to Waynesburg. Out of nowhere in the hat section, I run into a Felisha, a long time internet buddy of mine from Waynesburg who is also one of the biggest Pirate fans I know and one that is legit with the rap game. There's not many in my circle that I can have some good rap chats with and knows the history and the whole works. She was with Big Vince, the Greg Maddux/John Cena look-a-like and I got to chat it up with both of them. For as many Bucs games as we've been to at the same time, for some reason we've never ran into each other. That and we're both in Morgantown a good bit around some of the same people and paths never cross. I figured that was story worthy for something different to add to the PNC Park trip. I'm only an hour south of Waynesburg and still sound like a big hick to those people, it's crazy. Felisha I'm the hick, but you're still a midget, hah.



We decided to stay in town until the game was over to see what madness was about to ensue. We bounced around between a few bars near the stadium and you could barely get in due to the hockey uproar. The streets were jammed packed and the crowd was getting rowdy. Cops were out like no other. The hardcore hockey fans, that's a totally different breed of fans. These fans are borderline psycho and definitely get my respect for how much they support their teams, it's off the charts. In town, there were a lot of Red Wings fans around too and it made for a good mix. Once the final buzzer hit, it was pandemonium. I've been lucky lately to have been part of some really good sporting events live. We decided we were hungry and got out of town fairly quick. I guess we missed the cars being flipped over and fires starting for the riots, but that's how it goes. I can remember being in Philly during hockey playoff time and it's just another world during that time of year with hockey fans. I couldn't even imagine what it'd be like in a Canadian city, that'd be fun just to be part of to see what would go down.

So we get back on I-79 South and need something to get our appetite crushed. There's only one answer for that on the way home. You guessed it.. Waffle House! I think they should start giving out free passes to us as much as we hit them up on road trips. That and they're getting free plugs in the blog, that has to count for something, come on now. Anyways, as Cleveland was the very first time Matty Cakes hit up a WH, it was time for another person to break their WH virginity. Alicia had never been before and this shocked the rest of the clan on the ride. I explained that I enjoy the dirty and filthy Waffle House places much more than the newer versions. It's like a baseball glove, you need to break it in. Mix in some of that grease, don't clean it so much and you're guaranteed for good food. I've said that for years in here. I dropped a piece of bacon on the floor there this time and it was on the ground for probably 10 seconds or a bit more. Now, WH has the best bacon there is, of course I'm not going to let that go to waste. It can't hurt, so I pick it up and eat it. I said that probably half of that piece of bacon wasn't even touching the floor, not like most of you haven't tried that one, no big deal. This time I loaded up on a ham and cheese omelette, 2 orders of bacon, hash browns covered and chunked (ham and cheese), the best sweet tea, and some toast that I wasn't able to touch. Yum yum yum! We didn't get hardly any pics on this trip though, boo.



It was time to get back to the big town. We ended up getting home around 1:30 in the morning. A quick update on the sleep pattern and this one wasn't safe at all, but I survived. When I went to bed at that night at 2:30, I had been up for 39 of the past 40 hours. I drove 2 hours to Pittsburgh and back on 1 hour of sleep the night before. I went to bed at 12:45 PM and woke up at 1:45, stupid. I rocked it out like a champ, but when I got home, I was done for. Nothing I'd recommend doing, but as usual, I never learn.

For the book fans, it's time for a movie review. After getting sucked into the Twilight series, I figured I might as well watch the movie after I finished the first book. As everyone knows, the movie never lives up to the book, that's almost a proven fact. Going in, I had to take that for what it was worth. I tried not to get mad at details left out of the movie that I thought should have been in, but they did what they could to fill 2 hours. I know I'm behind the times on reading this stuff or watching the movie, but I'm at least getting around to it. Time to rate this bad boy. Despite it not living up to the book, I'm going to give the movie 8.1 vampire bites out of 10, which is pretty good. I'm already a good bit into the second book, New Moon. It started out slow, but now it's picking up a good deal and I'm still hooked. The waitress at Waffle House we had was reading that on her shift, so I had to hype that up. Plus, it's always fun to get my buddies all worked up when they know I actually read this stuff. Cork, it's time to start reading. You know you can't wait.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: Hey Ash, I took your advice and went on Richard's page to find this week's girl. You're right, he has some to pick through in there. This week's winner comes straight outta Wyoming. For as much as I'm ate up online, I don't think I've ever talked to someone from Wyoming and that's saying a lot. This one has me impressed as she's not one we're going to make fun of or all of that, she seems quality to me. I could be wrong though. Everyone does a good enough job of commenting on this section, so if I'm wrong, let me know about it. Danielle, step up and accept your award: http://www.myspace.com/413811316

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Maybe it's just me, but that's funny..





3 Quick Thangs:

1. A new video game in the house. After eating myself up with Call of Duty, it was time to switch it up. I got UFC Unleashed last week for 360 and it's worth the purchase. The game is so realistic and the graphics are top notch. Just about every fighter you can think of on the roster is there, you can make your own guy for the career mode which is great, and even battle online. Prepared to get absolutely dominated online though, you see some straight up studs on there, it's nuts.

2. Finally! Yep, finally someone is here to shut up the T-Pain synthesizer garbage that everyone and their brother likes to use these days on songs, also known as autotune. You've all heard it, rap fans or not. I guess the mainstream club rap type of fans think this junk is good, but not in my book. I'm normally not a huge Jay-Z guy one way or the other, but he's upped his status with me after releasing this song. Here he is with D.O.A., Death of Autotune, lyrics included if you click the link too. If not, just check the song:



3. A few facts to end up with.. Did you know that Malaysians protect their babies from disease by bathing them in beer? Did you know that the world’s longest street is in Canada? Toronto’s Yonge Street runs 1,190 miles. Now you know.

Joel "The Vanilla Guerilla" Przybilla

Here we go! We're back in action for another edition. You were waiting all week to see what was going on around town and now it's time. Well, that just sounded good, you probably weren't that pumped to read the latest, but it is a good time killer you have to admit. What do we have in store? We have Posey's birthday bash, reading something that will surely drop me a level on the manhood scale, a Sandlot kid beating up his chick, a sleep schedule that has been a mess, a few new CDs, and a lot more as usual.



Thursday night it was big action in the mean streets of Shinnston. How so? It was a celebration for Posey's 31st birthday. The setting? None other than The SportsCenter, not to be confused with the ESPN version. Scherri had planned the big bash for a while now and told me the time to show up and all of that. Everyone knows that I'm not a bar guy whatsoever. Normally it's not my crowd at all and I feel real uncomfortable most of the time in one. Usually I just hate being 2 feet away from someone and having to scream and yell for them to hear you, standing on top of other people, being around drunks when I'm one of few not drinking, or having smoke blown in your face. This night however, and I'd admit if I didn't have a good time, it was actually way better than expected and I enjoyed myself. You're probably wondering why I had fun in a bar, but I'll explain myself..

First off, when I walked in and my crew was there, they didn't know what to think of me actually showing up in the first place. I told Posey he's a good buddy and I wouldn't do that for too many people. I was glad that my buddies were excited I showed up rather than me feeling out of place. I know, for those who know me I can ramble on and talk to just about anyone in most settings. A bar never was one of those places, but I manned up and went to the bash. Not that I'm too good to walk into a bar, but most know that's not my environment. The SportsCenter was totally different. For the locals, I hadn't been in there in probably 20 years when Patsy was running the show and I was a little tyke and it was totally changed. There's a ton of room in there and you don't have music blaring to where it stops you from having a conversation. This was more of a pool hall, old school style, taking you back in time. Ward was running the show and he was quite the host. Yep, the same legendary Ward from the old East Shinnston Gang way back when, a good guy indeed.



We were saying my town needs a reality show and this place would be a good scene for it. In our little hole, this place had guys showing up from 45 minutes away or farther just to shoot pool at Ward's. I still never quite understood while they migrated here of all places, but that's the irony. I had fun just seeing some total characters and I could write a book just on those guys alone. There were some legit pool sharks though and it cracks me up that people pay $15 a month to lock their pool sticks up here. Apparently I also learn that people can pay $2000 for a stick. I'm also the only West Virginian that hasn't played pool before, imagine that. A big plus for me is that the place wasn't packed, wasn't loud one bit, and I didn't have to put up with babysitting any drunks, it didn't get out of hand. Just a quick guide, some characters we had in the house was a strung out old school druggie, a group of serious pool sharks that wouldn't say a word to each other as they played (I found that strange), a legitimate Mexican in Shinnston of all places that randomly fits into our crew, and even an Italian (Clinten) that was thought to be of Mexican descent by the Mexican himself. Confused yet? You should be.

So I'm laying it on the line. Aside from coming home and having to shower again after smelling like a dirty smoke factory, the birthday bash was a successful trip. If you're driving through our town out of nowhere, feel free to stop in and see the characters that Ward has to offer at The SportsCenter. When a guy that almost always hates a bar scene is recommending a certain bar, it must be pretty unique and worth at least one trip if not more. I joked with Scherri that we needed to set up a Monopoly game at The SportsCenter and I'd be a regular. We did bust out the checkers and chess boards though, I didn't expect that. Even if I don't drink, I'm not above making myself a dork by drinking Coke and Mountain Dew while eating birthday cake in a bar. Posey, good times you old man, hope you enjoyed the birthday!



Ok, it's time to admit something. This will take the manliness level down in half, but I'm not afraid to say it. If I worried much about what other people thought, I'd turn into someone so miserable like a lot of people do, but that's not my style. I took heat for getting into the Harry Potter saga late in the game. I was wondering what all the hype was and then once I started reading the series, I couldn't put it down. Now enter Twilight. Yes, I know what you're thinking already. You can't wait to bust my balls on how I've given into what is thought of as a girly book series. I'll admit, when it was first out and people were all about it, I didn't think I'd like it one bit based on the storyline, the same thing I said about Harry Potter. Now? I picked this thing up on Friday and haven't been able to put it down. I've heard some other guys who have actually ventured into reading it say the same thing. I say if you're into reading, give it a try. I haven't seen the movie yet, but the book is top notch thus far. Normally it's sports and wrestling books for me exclusively, but I can branch out if needed.

Who all has been keeping up with The Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Duel 2? If you have, you've been getting drama week in and week out. It never stops, you get some high quality entertainment. This week coming up is the finale and it can go a lot of different ways. I won't bore anyone too much with this, but if I had to pick a winner? I'm going to put my money down on Evan. I also want the percentage of these guys that are juicing. I think MTV makes it a must that they need to be oozing of roids before getting on this show. Some of these guys are animals, I just wish my boy CT would've lasted a few more shows. That leads me into saying that you better gear up for June 24th or else. Why? New season of Real World and this one is based in Cancun. I'll be sure to bore you with my opinions of the cast once the season starts.



If you've read along in this spot for a while, you'll know my favorite all time movie is The Sandlot. After a while, you begin to wonder every so often if any of those kids made it big. Most didn't when you search around. A few had some ok roles through the years, but nothing major. They've been keeping low key for the most part. That is until we get to recent news from the character known as Yeah-Yeah, Marty York. This happened on Easter Sunday, so a lot of you may have already heard about it. I haven't though and was sent this link from Chrissy in Webster County. Sure, the girlfriend hit him with her shoe, but that's still no excuse. When that happened, he wanted to play Chris Brown and bust up his chick. Get out of here Yeah-Yeah, go do some more roids so you can be a tough guy and punch out chicks. I can't have much remorse at all for a guy who does that, but figured I'd pass along the story: http://www.tmz.com/2009/04/20/sandlot-kid-arrested-for-smacking-gf

As I write this part, I have two days left of work. The kiddies have been finished for a few days, but I have a couple left to tough out. No biggie, it should be easy days and then shut down shop for the summer. Then I'll be pumped to sleep in and have too much time on my hands. The sleep schedule is still whacked out, but I'm used to that. Thursday night with work in the morning, I go to bed at 3:00 to start things off and wake up at 6:00. I passed on a nap after work and just laid around, figuring I'd get one later in the evening. That didn't happen. If reading Twilight wasn't making myself weird enough, how about the fact that I finally went to bed on Saturday afternoon at 1:00. Yes, you read that right, I never learn. I had been awake for 31 hours before I went to bed and had been without sleep for 52 of the past 55 hours. That's not healthy. That's something a person strung out on meth would be capable of. It wasn't like I was doing anything major. Between watching some games on TV, reading, and being online for that stretch, that's about it. Although I was doing other things at the time, I was still at my computer chair for the whole ride. From around 7:00 on Friday night until 1:00 on Saturday afternoon, I was online. 16 straight hours. That has to be up there with one of my all time records, although nothing to brag about at all, there's not much else happening in my town. The moral of this story, I'm online entirely too much, but there's always something to get into.



Not that many care, but some are into the exercise gig like I am and so I'll mention a new supplement purchase. As usual, if you could care less about this, just go to the next section. It was time for a trip to GNC and I wanted to switch some things up. I was off for about a month or a little less of taking anything and now we'll cycle some new in. I'm talking like I'm on the juice, Yeah-Yeah style, but that's another thing that I'd never touch, so I stay with the basic supplements. I got some fish oil gel tabs that is more of a vitamin as opposed to strength gains. It helps with fatty acids, a chance to reduce heart disease, healthy cholesterol and blood pressure, supports joint, brain, and skin health. The next I got was L-Glutamine. I've been wanting to get this for a while, but never have for some reason. It's a balancing amino acid that helps with alertness, retaining energy and muscle production after a workout, and immune system help. Lastly, I got a huge jug of amino acids. These are by far the biggest pills I've seen, they're monsters. I have to crush them up to take them. Even if you cut them in half and take them that way, they are still too big. With the older stuff I've mentioned in the past month or two, I'm still on Taraxatone which I love and finishing up Aplodan, while using chocolate Pro-NOS as my protein.

Time for another visit from Corndog (that's your boy Ashley) as he sets an internet law:

Corndog: When referring to your own myspace page, should you refer to it as "my myspace" or can you just say "my space"
Bird33: I wondered the same..
Bird33: I think we'll just go one my.
Corndog: when i just said "there are pictures on my space"
Corndog: you knew what i was talking about didnt you?
Bird33: You got it, there's your answer.
Corndog: Sweet. we just made up an internet law!
Corndog: Internet Law 3,334,694,231: When speaking of your own Myspace page, it is totally acceptable to refer to it as "my space". 05/30/09 submitted by Corndog and Bird33

Just a few CDs to mention this time..

Eminem: Relapse. For me, there's both good and bad about Eminem's latest after not having anything out for 4 years. The good is that for the most part, lyrically he can still bring it. Being away that long in the rap game, for a lot of people, they wouldn't be relevant anymore. Some say Em isn't relevant now, but he's still a big name and people are interested in his stuff. Another good is that Dr. Dre is involved and when he's around, it bumps things up to a completely different level. The weird part to me is that just about every song on this CD talks about how Em used to be a big druggie messed up on pills and doesn't seem to rap about much else. If you like the dark and demented raps, it's still here. You also get Em calling people out and for some reason he still bashes Christopher Reeve as much as ever, even when he's dead. Some of my favorite songs of this setup? Insane (lyrically the best on the album in my mind), Bagpipes From Baghdad (the Mariah Carey diss in where he trashes her and Nick Cannon something awful), and Old Time's Sake that even has Dre rapping some in it.

Freeway: Philadelphia Freeway 2. Three years since his last CD and I can't be anymore happy. For those who know me, I'm a huge Freeway fan and feel he's never got his respect due. I'd put the first Philadelphia Freeway CD in my top 10 ever, possibly top 5, it's that good. How does this one stack up? He stays true to his style and I'm giving it a thumbs up. If you've never given Freeway a time of your day, now is the chance, don't miss out. I'll even steer you in the right direction. Crack Rap is the best on this CD and you can also try to find Gotz 2 Be Tha Bomb and Streets Won't Miss Em.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: We go to Arizona Jas again for another. What's she have to say on this one? "this is my vote for dirty thug ho. She isn't the dirtiest, and she's mildly attractive.. but she's got some skank in her, fo sho". Here is our girl this time around: http://www.myspace.com/omgwilder

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: This one comes to us from Jodine in the mean streets of Jersey. She sends us a Dating Fail video that is worth the watch. Apparently this dude is very romantic, wants to tie his chicks up, and designs video games. Enjoy.





3 Quick Thangs:

1. Birthdays for Monday, June 8th. We start with Joan Rivers, who might be walking dead for all I know at 76 with plastic surgery gone bad. Nancy Sinatra, the first child of Frank, she's now 69. Boz Skaggs, known for being in the Steve Miller Band apparently, he's 65. Keenan Ivory Wayans, the second of ten Wayans kids and oldest of the famous ones we know, he's celebrating his 51st, dang. Baskeball ogre, Big Country Bryant Reeves, 36. Tennis chick Lindsay Davenport, 33. Rapper Kanye West, 32. Hottie Maria Menounos, 31.

2. Today's fact? "Two-thirds of all the men and women who have ever lived past 65 in the entire history of the world are alive today. On a sidenote, Florida, Montana, and a few New England states seem to have more of this group of people."

3. Another fact? "In late-1600s Puritan society, a child over 16 convicted of cursing at a parent was sentenced to death. Being a stubborn or rebellious child also earned you a death sentence."

Road Trippin': The Shot That Saved Cleveland

It was road trip time last weekend and this one should be filled with stories coming to you from all angles. I think Spank said it right, this was probably a top 5 road trip for our crew of all time. Today's blog takes you from the hills of West Virginia into Cleveland, Ohio, the land that LeBron simply is a god of. Even if you're not a basketball fan at all, this edition is going to have a little something for everyone, the point of every blog I write or that's the plan anyways. It really doesn't even have that much basketball talk, but I'll fill your brains with such things as Waffle House, driving through random neighborhoods, druggies out of nowhere, pineapples on burgers, another brush with greatness, and a whole lot more.



I took the driving duties for this one and along for the ride were Matty Cakes and Spank. I'm not the best driver which I've admitted before, but I guess these guys don't mind having their life at risk. Luckily, I brought everyone back in one piece and didn't make any dumb wrong turns or near crashes. I'm always down for a trip if given enough time to get something in order, especially if it deals with NBA. A downfall to the trip was that my Sirius radio was messing up and people have been having problems with that last weekend. Now it's back in order and everything appears to be fixed. We still got a good bit of sports radio and rap cranking to last the trip up and back.

After starting the day right by playing some Punch-Out in Shinnston on the Wii, it was time to roll out. We planned to bring the Wii in the ride with us to play on the screen, but I need to buy a plug-in adapter of sorts for that to work. Maybe that's an option for the next trip. We left around 1:00 and ended up getting into Cleveland at around 5:30 on Friday evening. This is one of the few trips that I didn't have any Bone playing as I pulled into Cleveland, always a tradition for me to go into a city on a road trip and play that city's rap music to get the feel. Yes, I'm a dork, but it's something I will admit. For being Memorial Day Weekend, the traffic wasn't too horrible, which half of our trip is straight up in the middle of nowhere, an easy drive in my opinion.



We get there and have a nice hookup from Matty Cakes. Due to the joy of flying miles, he gets us a free hotel room, so major props are sent to his direction. When we get to the room, it's a pimp setup and we are fans of it instantly. We were on the top floor and this place had the highest ceilings I've ever seen in a hotel. Instantly I see a ledge of the wall separating the beds and the living room that stood about 3-4 feet high. I test out the durability of the bed and what else should a person do? As I say, I'll never grow up, I had to at least attempt some dives onto the bed. I stand up on the ledge and get some major air and start leaping onto the bed. If someone would've walked in, they wouldn't have known what to think of someone 30 years old that still does this, but hey, it's entertaining to me. I'm easily pleased. Cakes got the idea to get a picture of it and it turned out that it's my favorite pic in a long time. Most have seen it on my MySpace and Facebook pages and have had some funny comments to send in. I wanted to attempt a backflip off the ledge, but I was too chicken and scared that I'd crank my head. This is an issue I have on flat ground too. I know I can pull a backflip off, but still in my mind I'm feeling that I would mess it up and crank my head. Even for an old guy, I'm still as agile and flexible as ever, so I hope that doesn't falter off anytime soon. As a site note, the pillow cases here had me laughing. They said either "soft" or "firm" on them. I liked the touch, but even a dude like me with no common sense can tell which pillows are soft or firm. Good times.

Before the game started, we had a little bit of time until the gates opened. That of course gave us time to go to my favorite place in Cleveland to eat, Alesci's. It was so good we ate there twice in the same night. Looking at the place, you wouldn't think it's anything special, but looks can be deceiving. I've written about this place before and it's top notch. I ended up getting a calzone with some sauce which was amazing and then ate half of Spank's stromboli. That might be the first time Spank has given me food. Usually when our crew goes out to eat, I'm the one giving everyone else food and they love that. It's just a small Italian type food/deli place, but it gets rockin' and that place makes a killing. If you're in Downtown Cleveland, you won't be disappointed at all. Ozzie likes it so much that he's been known to say that it's worth it just to drive there, eat, and drive back if he really had to. Cakes texted him and told him we were there and Ozzie's reply? "That place rules." That's high praise.



Finally, it's time to hit up The Gund (The Q, for Quicken Loans Arena as it's known now, stupid name changes) and get inside the arena. Our seats were in the upper deck, but we lucked out and had a great view. We were midcourt and I'd take those seats again for sure. Within minutes of being in the place, we had already more than gotten our money's worth for our ticket price. I've seen several LeBron games already before, but this was my first NBA playoff game and it's a completely different animal. The way those fans worship him has to be seen at least once in person to appreciate it because TV doesn't do it nearly enough justice.

How were the fans in my area? Both good and bad. The guy directly to my right, I was ready to put in a crossface chickenwing and have him tapping out, but I decided against better judgment and figured that'd get me kicked out of the game, so I kept my cool. This is the type of guy that doesn't have any buddies and wants to try to be your best friend. I'm all about talking to whoever to get random conversations going, but not like this. He would get 2 inches from my face and start talking. Cakes and Spank picked up on this idiot and were giving me a hard time about it. After a while, I couldn't really acknowledge the guy and tried to keep my distance, although that's tough when he is doing that garbage. He also is one who thinks he knows it all on sports, when actually, he doesn't have a clue. The good thing? The fans in the rows in front of us, great comedy. Picture a mini And1 group of fans that storm the court after a big play and after every LeBron dunk or big play, they'd go bananas. This one guy, who we hate not getting a pic of, would stand up and flex everytime LeBron would do something of note. Then two other guys in front of us were selected for a halftime competition to where one ended up getting $500 worth of new tires and his buddy got a free tire alignment. They were treated like celebrities when they walked back up to our section, which had me cracking up.



With a minute to go, it didn't look great for the Cavs and they were on the verge of going down 2-0 in the series. People actually started to leave around this point (what!?!), even though it was just a few point lead for the Magic. First off, you don't leave games early. People think they can beat traffic or whatever, get out of here. I can be at some bum game and still want to be there till the very end, but a playoff game where you pay big bucks? It's a no brainer, you stay. Turkoglu hit his big shot with a second left to put the Magic up by 1. With one second left, the fans needed a miracle. Inbound pass to LeBron at the top of the key for a three, he hits it and pandemonium goes down inside The Q. I don't think I've been part of a better crowd moment ever when it comes to sports and I've been to a lot. As for now, this is the shot that LeBron will be known as that you'll see a zillion times already for the next 20 years. The Shot That Saved Cleveland.

After the game, we made our way to the TNT set where none other than Ernie, Kenny The Jet Smith, Reggie Miller, and the great Charles Barkley were doing the postgame. Security let us walk right down to their area, no questions asked. We got some great pictures of that and were literally right beside these guys at a few points. Barkley has to eat it up with the heckling the fans give him during this. Cakes' dad texts the next morning and asks if we were near Barkley and the guys after the game. We were wondering why he asked that and come to find out, apparently we were on TNT for a short period when they would show the crowd in that area going insane. I guess that's our minor brush with greatness. We wished Ozzie could've went on this trip, but he wasn't able to make this one. When he saw our Barkley pics, and that's one of his childhood idols, he was hating himself. It happens.



The night isn't over. When we finally got out of the arena, the town was an absolute madhouse. After walking a bit, I found a spot in the middle of town to sit down on this wall. Here it is, 1:00 in the morning and three rednecks from West Virginia are in Downtown Cleveland sitting on a wall. Why you ask? You see characters from all walks of life. What better spot than to just sit back, watch the action, and talk to a few of these randoms? Of course I was in for that. Things went in cycles. We'd have a new character stop by every few minutes and would keep the night going. Want some examples? One dude came over wanting to sell us weed and he had this big spiel all lined up to sell. We just looked at him and let him ramble without saying much in return. Get down the road you druggie, but it was funny for a few seconds as he busts the weed out of his pocket right on the street like it was nothing. Then comes a drunk chick by herself, stumbling around. She was obliterated and looking for a ride to come pick her up. In all of this, she was trying to talk to her ride and direct them to the area we were in. After navigating them to the point, she stumbles around and finally sees a truck to pick her up. Inside? 4 dudes and her being the only chick. Chances are, she ended up in someone's home video that night. It made for a good 5-10 minute chat with this girl though who you could've told anything to and she wouldn't have had a clue what was up. I'm not a fan of being around drunks much, but for a few minutes, they can be funny as long as you're not the one babysitting them. It was continuous action like that all night. That's free entertainment and I could keep going with the idiots we encountered.

So Saturday rolls around and it's time to prepare to head back to WV. The drive back on trips are always a bit more depressing, but we make it happen. First, we had time to kill. I just started driving around Cleveland on the outskirts and to see what kind of neighborhoods we could find. We ended up getting into some fairly ghetto places and that always makes for interesting sights on a road trip. I'm always down for that. Spank got this idea of how he wanted a pic in front of some random house. As he was there, I saw these two kids riding their bikes a few blocks away. I put two and two together and why not ask those guys to be in the pic? For no reason, we ask these kids if they want in the pic and they didn't know what to think. After a few seconds, they didn't care and we set up the mean muggin' pic, one of my favorites of the trip. In the pic we had a whitey from WV, a black kid, and a latino. That's some good random diversity, nice to see. It was time to get out of Cleveland and off to Waffle House we went, the trip isn't over yet when that is still on schedule.



Waffle House! There's only two on our entire drive. When you're in this section of the country, you're few and far between from some filthy Waffle House restaurants, so you don't have many options. This isn't Tennessee, where you see them every 2.3 steps. Believe it or not, Cakes has never been to one in his life (what?!). Oh no! We had to change that immediately. That's almost as unbelievable as my laundry statistic I'll have about myself at the end of the blog. Anyways, as usual, we got some great eats. Maybe some of the best bacon and sweet tea you'll ever get will be at a WH, take my word for it. I was due for an updated WH pic for no reason other than I just have enough in the collection from the past that why not. I was trying to figure out some props to use since I've busted out the spatula, wet floor signs, etc in the past. I just straight up asked one of the waitresses if some of them would mind being in a pic with me. I don't think I've ever met a mean waitress at one of these places, so these girls were all about it. That part cracked me up. They had ideas to get most of the crew in the pic and even busted out the goofy hats for us to wear. The girl that took the pic, she was serious about people being in the right spots and all of that. People always say I'm random, but you definitely get some stories if you just talk to whoever and see what's up. After leaving, we didn't get in the car yet, we walked down a few blocks across the highway to scope out the neighborhood for pic ideas. While there, we found a cheesy van that Spank got a pic in front of, the traditional pic in front of WH, and a dog posing for a pic while he was taking a dump. Again, as I say, I'll probably never grow up on that side of things. I can be really professional when I need to be and take care of my business, but you have to have fun with things and just goof off or life wouldn't be any fun.

If you're still reading along, you're a champ and I commend you. We're winding down, I promise, but we're not finished yet. Outside of the LeBron trip, I have a quick softball story to mention. Thursday night and we had a game scheduled at 10:00 in Morgantown. Yeah, a nightcap game about 45 minutes away from my town. We had a big storm going down in the area a few hours before that and were wondering if we'd get in a game or not. With no call of cancellation, we drove up anyways. We get there and find out that the games are not on pace and we'd have to wait about 45 minutes since a game before us was just starting at 10:00. 11:00 and we get on the field. By the time it was over, it was 12:30 in the morning. This was our second loss of the year and it was a video game score of 23-19, dang. 42 total runs, ricockulous! Anyways, after taking Big Rick and Posey home, I got home around 1:30 on a work night. I showered up and of course I couldn't go straight to bed, I was bouncing off the walls. I have enough energy the way it is, but it'd be tough to go to bed then. I stayed up till 3:00 and woke up at 6:00. Lucky thing it was Friday, but I have a weird sleep schedule anyways. Monday before work I went to bed at 4:00, another dumb mistake. I went to work and did my thing, running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I wasn't tired until I got home that evening since I rarely sit down at work, but I passed on a nap. After eating Chinese and watching Ric Flair DVDs most of the night, out of nowhere I crashed on the couch at 9:30. The next thing I know, I wake up at 5:00 and didn't have an idea where I was at. As I type this part, it's 6:15 on Saturday morning and I'm pretty sure I'll go back to bed sometime to gear up for another softball game at 3:00.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: Speaking of Tennessee, that's where we end up for this find. A ton of pics? Check. Hot? Check. Some borderline slutty pics? Check. Not that we're complaining here around blog land. http://www.myspace.com/__casey

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: This is one that comes to us from Kasher. He put this up on Lobstah a few months ago, but don't think I've used it in here. This one features Nancy Grace who scares me when she gets all mean and they're talking about the Duke lacrosse rap scandal. She wants stats on the scandal and the guy busts into sports stats. 30 seconds, but one I got a kick out of:





3 Quick Thangs:

1. As a good time killer, we all like being nosy and reading up on other MySpace/Facebook status messages. Most aren't that good, but you do find some gems every now and then that can get you laughing. It's probably just me, but I enjoyed this one considering Uncle Wilbur's temper that he can get when he blows up. He's calm most of the time, but then he can just let it go and flip out, it's great. What'd he have to say earlier this week? Here we go, word for word: "went to go swimming with the stepkids, but couldn't BECAUSE SOME ?'.$!.*#!$,'* LITTLE KID POOPED IN THE POOL!!!!" I guess that'd make anyone mad.

2. Here's one I probably shouldn't even admit, but I'm never one to really mind if people joke with me or what some opinions may be. If I'm right on this, I did laundry for the first time ever the other day. I know, that's insane to think, but it's true. Sad, but true. However, that's one more time than Dad has done it, at least while I've been alive. Most people have done that when they were like 5 years old, but I'm weird, you don't have to tell me that.

3. I'll end with a food recommendation. While at the big cookout bash for Memorial Day with the family all together, it was time to bust out the grill. Gayle was straight up rockin' the grill out like no other and threw some pineapple slices on board. He's not a fruit guy at all, but I'm huge into it. I was eating some grilled slices as they came off and that was good enough, but why not on a burger? It sounds weird, I know, but put a grilled pineapple slice on your burger and it's some high quality eats. Don't knock it till you try it. I'm running long as this isn't actually "quick", but Webster County Chrissy put sour cream on her spaghetti the other night. What in the world? Now that's bad times. She ended up not liking it, imagine that one. I won't hold it against her though. Until next time..

5 Years? Who Would've Guessed?

This Thursday marks five years since I've been rambling on about anything and everything in this space. It's hard to believe and time flies. Hopefully I can keep going at it. I'm talking like I'm some aging football veteran who is hanging on till his final days of his career as he's banged up. We'll keep plugging along. I don't have anything special planned for the 5th Year Anniversary bash, so I'm going to conduct with business as usual. I'm typing this section right now early in the morning with a cup of coffee. I don't even really care for coffee, but I might as well crank a cup in me to get me going in the morning when I don't sleep enough. At least it's loaded up with sugar. What do we have in store? We're going with two movie reviews, an annoying commercial, a visit from Corndog, drivers going ballistic, and much more. Onward!



I watch entirely too much TV, but you'll have that. If you watch TV like I do, you'll know this commercial I'm about to mention. It's a new one for Panasonic, one of their Viera TVs. Towards the end of this commercial, they show a YouTube video playing of a hamster doing yoga. I guess some might think that's funny? Anyways, as this hamster is doing its thing, these idiot girls are in front of the TV acting out the same movements of the animal. This part alone has me never wanting to buy a Panasonic Viera in my life. I want to bash in the TV with a bat when I see this come across my screen, it's that bad. Maybe I'll try that one day. Even I'm allowed to get violent every now and then. A big thumbs down to the yoga hamster girls, stop trying to be funny.

This story is being sent to us by none other than TyLaw in Canada. Some of you have probably already stumbled across this blurb, but it might be noteworthy for some of you. This kid from Sickles High School in Florida (a real place Matty Cakes, imagine that) was in a pic in the yearbook with her pottery club. Pottery club? Ok, to each their own. Anyways, the pic ends up showing her wearing no panties. The video to this will crack you up more than the story. The girl claims she didn't want her panty lines to show and says she didn't do it on purpose. Speaking from a guy's perspective, I'm going to call her out on this one and say she's lying. I could be wrong. The mother blows up and demands the school board stop sending out copies of the yearbook. It's going to get out on the internet anyways, not like she's going to stop it. The school board's argument is that it only shows a shadow and doesn't really show much. What does TyLaw say on the situation? Here is his uncensored quote, verbatim: "I'm sorry how is this the fault of anyone but this girl? WEAR UNDERWEAR WHEN YOU EXPECT TO GET PHOTOGRAPHED YOU CUM DUMPSTER! Also, like this is ruining her life, she's in the pottery club already." If you're curious for the video and the funny comments of the kid and her mom, check it out: http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2009/05/14/dnt.yearbook.private.parts.wtsp



You want a movie review? That's what you're about to get. Just keep reading.. there it is! What's the movie? Fighting. This was one I was interested in seeing when I first saw previews. I made plans to go see it at the theater, but never got around to getting someone to go. Instead, we'll use the trusty internet and check it out that way. To start, Terrence Howard is in this movie and he almost always delivers. He played his role very well I thought. The casting I felt was strange. The star is Channing Tatum, better known as Tyler Gage from Step Up. His rival? Brian J. White, better known as Sylvester from Stomp The Yard. So we have a fighting movie with two pretty boys that have had key roles in dancing movies. Interesting. Either way, I can see why they were chosen as it seems that most chicks I talk to about this movie are all about Tatum. The actual fighting in this movie could've been done much better and more of a focus needed to be put into mixed martial arts if you ask me. On the chick scale, Zulay Henao (weird name) is fairly nice herself. I didn't mind the movie, it's worth watching, but then again, I like the type of movie anyways. My score? We're going with 5.7 guillotine chokes out of 10. For what it's worth, IMDB has it ranked at a 5.0 from their readers.

It's time for the regularly scheduled moment with Corndog. What's he have up his sleeve this week? He's giving us a great time killer, at least it was for me. What I'm talking about is this link of funny mug shots. It might not seem like much, but give it a chance and before you know it, you'll be going through these pages. For example: #6 (he might be dead), #9 (Is she doing that face to be funny or is that her real self? Ouch.), #10 (Devil Boy), #13 (humongous head and chin), #20 (what a total mess), #25 (that's a human?), #27 (what is that?!), and even some real life pirates with #30 and #31. There's 84 to go through and we have some total characters that you'll enjoy. Here's the link: http://www.wsbtv.com/slideshow/entertainment/19338958/detail.html



Not that many people care, but I'll write about it quickly instead. New video game time for me. As most know, I've only played Call of Duty since November and still am big into that game. This Sunday, during the NBA games, we get a preview of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, nice! On Tuesday, I had to load up and get Punch-Out for Wii as I mentioned. I'm sure it won't hold my attention how COD has, but I'm true to my old school roots and if you're a Nintendo fan, you definitely loved Mike Tyson's Punch-Out back in the day. How is this one so far? After a day of playing it, it holds very true to the old style. The classic characters are back with their same personalities and actions. Game play is great and you don't have to use the dumb swinging motion with 2 hands, you can play regular style with the remote going sideways if you want and that way is smooth for this game. It seems a bit easy after a few hours of playing, but it's been a blast and so far has given justice to the old school fans, go get it.

I might as well throw in another movie review. Two in one week, the madness going on around here! I hadn't heard of this movie before, but one of my kids at school recommended it and I checked it out. It's a 2005 movie called Dirty Deeds, also known as Dirtier Deeds since there was a movie back in 2002 of the same name with different plots. Right away I'll say this one is a lot better in my opinion than Fighting. If you're into the comedies as I am, this one will be right up your alley if you haven't seen. If you like the American Pie type joking around movies with juvenile pranks, watch this one if you get a chance. The preview on IMDB even quotes American Pie: "An American Pie-like teen comedy in which a high school senior tries to become the first student in years to complete the Dirty Deeds, an outrageous series of challenges that must be completed by the Homecoming banquet at 9 a.m." I'm not sure I'll ever grow tired of these types of movies. I'm not sure what that says for myself considering I just wrote a paragraph on video games as well, but so be it. Anyways, Milo Ventimiglia is the main guy in this movie and apparently he's a fairly big name now as he's been in Rocky Balboa, Heroes, and Gilmore Girls. He was a good cast for his role here and played it well. The lead chick, Lacey Chabert, if you don't know her, you need to. I'm never short of an honest opinion, but this chick is high quality in my book. She looks a whole lot like Jennifer Love Hewitt and that comparison you have to be halfway nice I believe to live up to. I'm rambling with this review, so it's time to judge it. I'm giving it a high rating of 8.2 deeds out of 10, I liked it that much. Maybe you will, maybe you won't, but give it a try. IMDB has it at a low 5.7 at the moment.



Here's a quick one on my way home from work the other day. I'm normally a patient person, but when I'm in the car or people aren't doing things the right way, I don't have time to wait. This guy was in front of me most of the way home and I could tell he was in a hurry. I wanted to get home as much as the next dude, but I was just doing my thing, being laid back and not having it bother me. The car in front of this guy was creeping along and going crazy slow. You've all been behind those people, almost daily. Anyways, I did get some entertainment out of the scene. This dude in front of me starts to flip out like a madman because the guy ahead won't go any faster. His hands are out the window and he at one point at a stop sign sticks his head out and starts screaming like an idiot at the guy to get him to speed up. It didn't work, but that made my ride home much easier. He caught me laughing at the scene and that eased him a bit and he just sort of laughed back at me, knowing he was being an idiot, but that it happens. The joys you see while driving around, you never know what to expect. Plus, it never gets old to see someone have a roid rage out of nowhere and you just get to sit back and watch the implosion, as long as you're not too directly involved.

Since Corndog provided us with some good laughs in the paragraph earlier with the mug shots, we'll end the top half with more words of wisdom from Corndog, as we go straight to Logan County. In this random bout of action, he tells us how he tried to be a nice guy and buy his dad some dinner:

Corndog: story time.
Corndog: me and dad been working on this house every day when i get off of work. i get here first...so ive been buying us dinner and have it waiting on him
Corndog: today i bought him a whopper and fries and had it sitting here
Corndog: he calls and said..what are you eating? i told him i bought him something. so he asks what it is and i told him
Corndog: "i dont want that. Im stopping to get me something" was his exact quote
Corndog: aint that something
Corndog: buy a man a meal and he refuses it

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: I'm looking for a new name for this section since we've changed it up from the beginning. We rarely have any thuggish chicks in this slot and I'm not an early 90s gangsta rapper for the other word to fit much, even though I listen to that stuff.. This one comes to us from Arizona Jas. She hasn't contributed in a few weeks, but she's back in action. This time, we go with a rare older chick and she's straight up a rough and tough one, 36 years old from right up the road in Erie, PA. Some of you people might have seen this woman before. Here is what Arizona Jas says: "I dont understand why people would pay to look at that.. she's.. gangly." She's definitely getting a vote in here to be put up, so we'll throw her in the mix: http://www.myspace.com/mariemadison

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: We'll talk about Mr. T in the next section, but I'll fit him in here as well. This video is so bad as far as his talking that it's good. I don't think he breathed during this entire thing. Plus, the grr things are so random and weird. I don't think he even knows what he's saying during most of this:





3 Quick Thangs:

1. We haven't done birthdays in a while, let's get it started. Thursday, May 21st.. The main man of pimpin' R&B music in my opinion, Ron Isley, 68. How about Mr. T turning 57? MMA announcer and brother of Michael, we have Bruce Buffer touching down at 52. Baseballer Kent Hrbek, 49. Rosie O'Donnell, 47. Ferris Bueller Matthew Broderick is also 47, dang. MTV Real World and Grind guy in the 90s, Eric Nies, 38.

2. Uh oh.. a little road trip is in the works! This one will be to see how the fans of Cleveland treat LeBron like a god. I've seen it several times already and it never gets old. This though will be my first ever NBA playoff game in person, so it should be a fun time indeed and I can't be anymore excited. I'd be more excited if my Celts would've been there this round, but I can't have it all. I'll be in attendance Friday night. Next week I'll have a report of course.

3. A few facts you might find useful. Then again, you might not. Each year, more than 50,000 people are injured by jewelry in the United States. Really now? Want another to end with? The odds of being killed by falling out of bed are one in two million.

Mother's Day, Midnight Express & Rihanna Exposed!

How you people been doing lately? If it's anything like me, you've been doing pretty awesome. Summer is right around the corner and I'm less than a month from being a total bum for two months. Waking up at noon or later everyday, check. Being up till the wee hours online and playing video games, check. The good part about that is that I'll be getting paid to do those things in the summer, not too shabby. Until then, we have May to get going as we're already through the first full week of the month. I'd also like to send a big Mother's Day wish out to all the moms doing their thing. In this blog we get Corndog's wise words, stupid commercials, softball, an encounter with a guy getting fired up at a gas station, Rihanna gets naked, bachelor party, the infamous Jim Cornette video from Dairy Queen, and MUCH more. And away we go!



We haven't put up any unscheduled Corndog chats into the blog in a while, so the fans are overdue. I was sitting at home on Monday night doing my usual. I was watching the Celtics game, gearing up for WWE Monday Night RAW, and being online way too much. Anyways, Corndog was doing the eating thing at Bob Evans and wanted to let me know what was happening. If you haven't figured me out by now, you know I love random things that are different, yet entertaining. This one was some phone messages he'd send through Yahoo Messenger.

Corndog Bob Evans cell texts
Corndog: Feasting at bob evans!
Me: Crepes?
Corndog: Eggs sausage potatoes biscuits strawberry banana stuffed pancakes fatty!
Bird33: Whoa.. you're not messing around.
Corndog: Haha i told the girl i wanted more then the regular meal. Needed the strawberry and banana added and that i wasnt playin around.
Me: Those pancakes sound awesome.
Corndog: Oh yeah last time i was here they were out of season so i have been looking forward to them
Corndog: I bought gears of war 2 and mlb 2k9 tonight
Me: Dang, loading up there. Big food and video game night for ya.
Corndog: Yeah the corndog is all about himself tonight Haha
Corndog: I rethought the corndog liddell thing. I think im gonna change my fighting name to the niceman chub liddell
Corndog: I worked at this bob evans when it opened ten years ago. Some of the same people are still here
Me: Dang, that's great, hah. Never knew you did Bob Evans before.
corndogtaylor: Ive done it all! Bob evans state road sporting goods switchboard at the hospital delivered drugs wal mart buggy boy
Corndog: They messed up the flapjacks. Brought out blueberry

I was doing the TV thing and came across a new commercial. No, it wasn't one that is exciting, but it did make me think. It was a commercial for the new Range Rover rides. Apparently you can have these things for JUST an $800 a month payment. First off, not many people in my area are going to be stupid enough to pay $800 a month on a car payment unless they have so much money that they don't know what to do with it. To tie into that, they show the commercial and they take the Range Rover through mud, rootin' like crazy in some big hole and it comes out a mess. Come on, you can't fool us like that. Nobody that drives around in a rich boy Range Rover is going to take that thing and junk it up like that. It's not some 1985 Ford with tires as big as your house. Honestly though, when have you ever seen a Range Rover go ripping through the area and coming back a mess? The answer? Never.

How'd softball go this past week for Dyno Nobel? We had games on Wednesday and Thursday. Wednesday we got pounded with rain, so it was canceled and we didn't have to drive up. Thursday rolls around and we have a 6:00 war about to go down. Unfortunately, the trashpiles we were about to play, only one guy bothered to show up. You kidding me? I drove 45 minutes to get a forfeit win? 1-1 on the season. We did get to practice for an hour and get our reps in. 7:00 rolls around and another team is scheduled to play the same team we did at 6:00. That time, about 4 of their players were there. What we ended up doing was scrimmaging the team that actually showed up and dusted them, so hopefully that's a sign of wins coming our way, but you never know. Nothing too noteworthy to mention on the games, so I won't get into that this week, but a good story from my way home when I got gas..



I stopped in Fairmont on my way home to the luxurious Go-Mart. I needed to fill my $800 a month Range Rover up in gas (or some other sort of car) and get some junk food. While waiting in line, this dude was half tanked and was going on a rampage. I didn't get what was going on at first, so of course I wanted to listen in. This guy wanted a certain kind of lottery ticket. One side of the registers told him to go on the other side to get those tickets, to which he did. He was mad at that point that they even moved him because he said you should be able to get those tickets on either side. He goes to the other side and I'm right behind him at this point. He tells that register guy the exact type of tickets he wants and starts going off on the other guy for sending him there. Well, they didn't have the particular tickets he wanted anyways and he started cussing like a madman. He kept turning around and complaining to me about it just to vent to someone, so I had to work him up more and just agreed with his whining for no other reason, telling him to let em know what he really thinks about it. He was already doing that, but I wanted to entertain myself even more. After blowing up some more, he ended up stomping out of there like a tough guy and the workers were saying that he needs to get a job and all of that and not worry about lottery tickets. I guess that was my excitement for the night in this small hole of an area I live in.

For the past few weeks, my laptop has sounded like it was about to blow up in a major way. For a bit, I didn't think anything of it and just let it ride out. After hearing that sound for far too long and cleaning out the fan a bit that was making the noise, it was still going down. I've heard people say forever to get a laptop cooler in case the thing overheats. I finally gave in and figured I'd get a nice one to see what the fuss was all about and if it would change anything. I ended up getting the Evercool All Aluminum Royal Widescreen Cooler. This thing has no sound to it and it's so easy to use, very quiet. You put one end into a USB port on the laptop and the other end to the USB port on the cooler. Flip the switch to on and that's it. Within minutes, my laptop was cooled down and I haven't turned it off since. If you've thought about getting one of these, I recommend this bad boy. Plus it looks pretty good too if that counts to you visual people.



Felisha sends this one in to us. I hadn't heard about the story until she threw it at me. Apparently, Rihanna is going to sue now that naked pics of her have been released. They came from her phone is the story and the phone may have been stolen? It doesn't surprise me really, but it's still always fun to see celebs in news like this. In the end, we are the ones who win. Plus, she has nothing to be ashamed of. Anyways, if you're bored to check out some of these pics, I'm here for your hookup. Like Rihanna or not, you'd be lying if you read this section and didn't actually click the link: http://www.imagehaven.net/gallery/J2BDTYQ3X6R8PF6GZGB597K6QXN05T

Saturday night it was time for Ozzie's bachelor party. As usual with bachelor parties, it's sort of like Vegas, you really don't tell people any of the stories or aren't supposed to. Well, I have nothing to reveal anyways, so I'll give my part of the night. We had a group of about 30 guys and hit up Buffalo Wild Wings at 6:30. As far as TV that night, we had quite the selection. It was the Nuggs/Mavs thriller when we got there, followed by LeBron being a freak of nature, along with some old boxing, the race that I didn't care about, and the Penguins game. It was a blast being with the boys and just BSing around, that doesn't ever get old. One complaint though up there is that it's way too crowded, loud and hot. We were dripping wet and I had to get another shower when I got home. And this was just to go out and eat? Other than that, I didn't have any complaints. The chick quality up there wasn't anything too special for anyone keeping track at home, but you'll have that, neither was the service. My Uncle Bill joked that people couldn't get drunk if they tried because it was an hour before a waiter would come back and check on you.

One thing that did surprise me and that was the hockey game. Not that I cared one bit about it, but it seemed like every hockey fan in Harrison County came to BDubs that night. When the Pens would score a goal, the roof would come off the place. When I go farther north, you see a lot of hockey fans, but not usually in my area. This night, it was insane. It got to the point that our crew, who are huge sports guys, but not one bit for hockey, came up with an idea. When the Pens would score, our bunch would just scream and yell with them just because it was the thing to do. When 11:00 rolled around, that's when I tapped out and decided to go home. As far as the drunken debauchery and tearing up the town of Clarksburg with girls running around like Rihanna half naked until the daylight hours, who knows what went down. You'll have to check with those guys on those stories. About a month until Ozzie's wedding, should be good times for all.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: This section hits all nationalities, we don't play favorites around here. The criteria is tricky though, it varies. One week, we have a filthy girl who has no reason putting up pics of herself, but we end up laughing about. Another week it may be a girl of actual quality that even the girls are checking out and get impressed with. A normal piece of criteria is that they normally have a lot of pics to go through. This week's edition is to hit up some asian flavor and she does have a lot of pics to go with the body. She even plays video games. Nothing amazing, but more good than not I think. http://www.myspace.com/mzalisa

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Everyone knows I'm a wrestling freak and always will be. Hey, I could be hooked to worse. Anyways, this video will appeal to everyone, a wrestling fan or not and I almost guarantee you'll watch it multiple times. If you've seen my latest dorky pics on MySpace and Facebook, you'll see me with some new wrestling merchandise. This one courtesy of The Midnight Express and Jim Cornette 25th Anniversary Scrapbook which you can get at jimcornette.com. For a wrestling fan, it's a must have. Plus I was one of the losers who was one to order one of the 250 collector's edition versions of the book, personally signed to me by Corny himself as well as the three members of the MX. Anyways, this has been on the blog before I'm sure, but it never ever gets old. This is Cornette at a Dairy Queen drive-thru and he goes absolutely bananas as the window girl. They had $30 worth of food ordered and I guess they didn't believe his order. It wasn't ready when they pulled up and it all went down on a cussing tirade that has me in tears when I watch, so hopefully you enjoy it too. I wouldn't crank the speakers around a big group since he cusses like Tony Montana:





3 Quick Thangs:

1. Breaking news from Kasher, although only a handful of people out there are probably big on these movies as I am. What would that be? On November 5, 2010, they are in works for a new Harold & Kumar flick. The first (White Castle) was one of my favorite movie ever, with the second (Guantanamo Bay) being fairly good itself. Now what do we have? A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas. I've never tried weed in my life, but there's something about the stoner movies that I've always been a fan of. I guess it's the pointless comedy with no purpose. If it's a dumb comedy, people that know me will tell you, I'm in to watch that for sure.

2. Cheesy joke time of the week, this one courtesy of Hannah who sent this one in, dogging my boy Obama. "They said a black man would be president when pigs flew. Obama has had 100 days in the office and swine flu." Come on, that had to get a little laugh out of you just because of the cheese factor.

3. We might as well have 3 reader submissions in for our bottom part this week. This last one comes to us from The_Freak. He was on Craigslist, killing some time and came across this ad for a 2003 Cadillac Escalade. It goes through the details of the ride and what it includes. It also says "no history of accident". Hmm.. Look at the pics down below the description. This thing's front end looks like they jumped it off of a building. Yet, there's no history of accident? Here's the link: http://newyork.craigslist.org/stn/cto/1151354821.html. The_Freak's comment to this?

The_Freak (2:12:56 AM): No history of accident -- then what the fuck happened?