Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Birdie's Dirties

Credit goes to loyal Blog reader The_Freak for today's subject line of this post. It's explained towards the second half of this writeup.

Will this be the last blog before Christmas? You never can tell with me. However, I'm due since it's been over a week and people are getting on me for not having something released. I guess that's good to know that the readers are demanding more information from my neck of the woods. I got some fun topics to get into this time as I think there should be a little bit for everyone in this edition. We'll have laughs, some things you may or may not know, some serious business, and then whatever else the staff here decides is worthy of printing.

Here is a good spot to start. Last Thursday and Friday I was getting my work on. This time, it was out of my element, but I figured I'd give it a try. I got a call to work 2 days with pre-K kids. That's a room full of 4 year olds. A few days before that, I had 18 year old seniors at my old high school, some change. Anyways, I barely had a minute to sit down with these little kiddies. So I have to basically play babysitter. These kids are taking naps, need their shoes tied, and all of that. It comes bathroom time and here I am having to walk my boys to the bathroom and watch them try not to make a mess. They walk out and half of them need their pants zipped up, their belts put on, it's a chore. I never thought I'd be getting paid to make sure my kids weren't walking in the hallways with their schlongs hanging out, but someone's gotta do it. Not my cup of tea, but it wasn't as bad as it seems. They're funny cats.

Saturday night it was family time with the cousins. You can't go wrong with that. They came in from the mean streets of Atlanta. We got to eat the best homemade pizza there is (I won't argue that one) from my Aunt Susie and enough other bites to keep you full and then some. Deer jerky, cake, chocolate icing out of the tub, cheeses, that's quality. We got to watch the infamous video of my cousin Kari from last Christmas Eve that Matt saw for the first time. Classic indeed. And no, it's nothing porn related for all you freaks out there that would ask, so don't ask. After laying around and watching the Cowboys/Falcons game, it became storytime the rest of the night. I could make a blog out of just the stories there, but the Mafia type stories were worth it alone. Here's one I'll mention that I've always liked over the years:

My Uncle Sam, who has since passed away, was driving along and minding his business. Apparently, he was going way too slow and these guys started tailgaiting him. No biggie, that happens all the time. Anyways, that's when Uncle Sam had enough and wanted to get all violent. He reaches over on the seat to go for his loaded gun. Ironic enough that it's common for him just to have a loaded gun in the car like it's a meant to be. Instead of holding it up or something to scare the guys or even pointing it out the window, he goes another route. He points the gun to the rear window and blasts it out, shooting at the guys behind him. Yep, you read that right. He shoots his own window out to get at those punks. I guess it did the trick. We could go all day on that stuff.

How's the Christmas season going? I'm doing pretty good with my shopping, I have most of it done. Also, on Monday, I sent out all of my cards and boxes of things and they will be on their way if you haven't already received any and were on the list. I get into this time of year, what can I say? Friday or Saturday, I'll make my last minute adjustments and will have the gifts all bought off.

Here's a shopping diversion for a bit. I'm doing my thing at the mall and Wal-Mart the other day. People just need to get out of the way. They're barely walking and hog up the path and you have to wait. I do what I normally do. I call it my stadium charge (example being at a Pirates baseball game or something) and just barge through. I'm a little dude, so I can get through people going fast, so that's the plan. If you bump into them, so be it, they didn't get out of the way. I'm never mean about it, but I always walk at a fast pace to begin with, and then when these people get in my way, I speed it up more to get where I want. It gets to be a type of a game in a big crowd to see how slick you can be by slipping through a small space, bobbing and weaving Rocky style, and just making your way. Try it out in a crowded area. It'll make your shopping or gaming experience that much better. I guess if you're like 400 pounds, it won't do too good, but you know what I mean.

A new batch of CDs:

Akon: Konvicted. I was one that always said Akon is much better in a role as a chorus dude rather than solo. This one impressed me though as I didn't think he had it in him to release something like this. It's pretty good I have to admit.

AZ: The Format. If you're into lyricism, this is one of the CDs you need to pick up. It seems like a lost art these days to find some true mic warriors, but AZ is worthy if you haven't given him a chance ever.

Fat Joe: Me, Myself, & I. There are only 12 tracks on this album, but it's very good in my opinion. I've always liked Joe's stuff and he has a few collabos on this one worth checking out. The first is the one released now with Lil Wayne called Make It Rain (Wayne is also on The Profit). The other collabo is called Breathe And Stop featuring The Game. Benedicion Mami has a strong message, it's good too.

Ghostface Killah: More Fish. In the mood for mellowing out to some Wu Tang? Probably the most unique of the Wu Tang Clan, this CD is worth checking out if you're into his stuff. Some great lyrics and he features a big cast of characters on some of these songs. Josephine is the single out now with Trife Da God on it, very catchy. For some reason, Cappadonna is the only other Wu Tang guy on this CD.

Lil Scrappy: Bred 2 Die Born 2 Live. Some Dirty South music here at its finest. You won't get a lot of flow, but the beats are good and it makes for some mean raps. I've always liked Scrappy's work.

Project Pat: Crook By Da Book - The Fed Story. One of Three 6 Mafia's members. If it's impressive lyrics you are after, Pat isn't your man. If you want some head busting music then you know what you're getting here. It'll get you pumped up if nothing else. My personal favorite song on this one is Great Googly Moogly.

It'd be a lot of work, but The_Freak gave me some ideas to try a 2006 Awards Blog here soon. One of his creations would be entitled "Birdie's Dirties" as it'd be our yearly collection of the world famous Dirty Thug Ho of the Week. It'd give those filthy girls the space to honor them for being what they are. We know they're dirty, but we can't help but look, even the girls that read the blog even take a peek, it's true. So you have to respect that.

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: (This was courtesy of a TyLaw find in #basketball. Give it a little time to get good, but it's a SNL type deal and it's the dick in a box. Enjoy.)

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week:

3 Quick Thangs:

1. I was sitting at work today and dropped my sandwich on the floor. I'm sure it was filthy, but I manned up and went for it. Dusted it off and figured since it didn't pass the 10-second rule, I was going to eat it. Needless to say, it was pretty good.

2. It might get old to say it, but this is my space, so I'll say it: Drop off a comment in here. At the end of each post, you'll see a number beside "comments". Click that, write a quick message. Easy as that. I'm always interested in your thoughts on the Blog, whether they be good or bad.

3. Quick thoughts on Iverson to Denver? I personally think, even with AI's baggage, that he seriously wants to win as much as anyone out there. I also think Denver made out like bandits in this one. Enough balls to go around between him and Melo? Definitely. People crack on AI for being a gun, but look at his assist numbers, he gets it done. Sure, he's a gun, but he lights up assists as well and I look for him and Melo to be quite the duo. I'm excited. "We talkin' practice mannnnnn!"


Kristen said...

Hey, sounds like fun with the 4 year olds...but then again, I do that mess everyday at home. :) Btw...I'm one of the chicks that check out the dirty hoes...not sure why, just do it. Well, have a good Christmas up there.

kristie said...

The PreK job sounds like fun - I know, sick mind! Anyway, that is my true dream job, that or a K class. Then I go home and do it some more. As usual, the blog is hilarious. Can't wait till the next one.

Anonymous said...

it's the 5 Second rule up here... 10 secs... don't work... though i wouldn't pick up anything off the floor to eat it... guess that's just me eh???...