Beating Rats with Baseball Bats

With August in the books, it's time to get this hot weather out of town. I've had enough of it two months ago. Speaking of out of town, I saw some people this past weekend I haven't seen in 10 years. Yep you guessed it. My 10 year high school reunion, becoming an old man if I haven't gotten there already. The good thing is that I don't really feel old yet as I've said for a while, so we'll see how this keeps going. I'll update everyone on reunion action in this post along with how I fail at handy man stuff, weekend activities, Real World chatter, fantasy leagues, laptop shopping, beating rats with baseball bats and whatever else we can throw together in our salad of goodies.



Good ol' Class of 1997. How time flies. We didn't get a big turnout for the melee, but I really enjoyed myself. We split it up into two days worth of things to do. On Saturday night, we had a dinner at Village Square. I was wondering if there would be people that I didn't have a clue who they were. Regardless, I'm the type that'd go up to them and straight up tell them I have no idea who they are supposed to be. Only one dude did I have that problem with, but heard through the grapevine who he was and then got to talking. Come to it, dude has been living like 5 miles from me for the past 10 years and hasn't moved either, weird. We cracked up about that. As far as the chicks, most of the ones that looked quality back in the day still hold up good enough. Then you have a few who were bums in high school and either turn out way hot now or if they were a dork dude they have some amazing girlfriend/wifey now. Interesting to see that go down.

I'm finally going to jump into the land of laptops. I've been missing out for a while as I've always been a desktop person. I think on Saturday I'm going to load up on a pretty nice one and we'll see what goes down. No point of just getting a decent one as much as I'm online and using my computer. My desktop is going a bit slower now, so it's time anyways. I got this Dell desktop I've been using since January 2004, so we're due. I've pretty much made up my mind on what exactly I want, but not sure of the brand yet. For the specs, and I'm no genius, but good enough with these things that I'm wanting a 17 inch screen, 2GB memory, 200GB hard drive, cam, and some suped up wireless. What in the world am I going to do with a 200GB hard drive? The computer I'm on now has 80 and I've only used up 18.7GB in almost 4 years time. I rarely save anything major on my computer. Enough of that jargon, onto some other happenings.



The first week of work has been solid so far. My gig is really sweet and my schedule couldn't be any better. One day last week when we were setting our rooms up before kids got there, I had to unscrew this metal plate holding a few world maps. You'd think it'd be easy huh? Here I am, probably by far the worst handy man (not Damon Wayans style) in the building, chicks included and this little task took me forever. If you saw me working with tools you'd get a good kick out of that. Leave that mess to someone who actually knows what they're doing. I have no common sense or any skill when it comes to fixing something.

This weekend has some good potential. Nothing too crazy, but at least I'll have some things going on. Friday night, it's time for the annual trip to the Jackson's Mill Jubilee. My parents are big on hitting up random festivals and things like that, but this one you can't go wrong with. I've talked about it before, but the food is worth going alone. It's some stuff you don't get on a regular basis, some southern cooking mixed in with a lot of homemade deals, Italian food, and a redneck ride on a tractor after you park into the grounds. Quite the mixture. Only in WV.

This weekend is also the Italian Heritage Festival in my area. It's some great eatage (it'll be a word in this blog) and a tradition around here. If you saw it, it's not much to behold, but the food alone and the rowdiness is always a good time. You get the same guys in my town fighting Clarksburg every single year, you can bet on that. You also see some high quality chicks running around up there too, how can you pass that up? I'm not sure if I'll hit it up this year or not though, but check out the site: http://wvihf.com. Sunday night is a family cookout deal with the aunts, uncles, cousins, you know. Again, more great eatage to come. Labor Day features two things. One is that I get to sleep in all day. Second, at 8:00 that night, we're having our local money NFL league, the Shinnston Fantasy League. We'll drafting at Maulberry's house and there will be 10 in attendance for the league: Me, Ozzie, Maulberry, Sweet Pea, Matty Cakes, Big Mac, Bart, Fortney, Pill, and Jimmy Mills. Of course I'll bore everyone with how the draft went in our next blog.



College football has already started up, that means it's time for this hot weather to be finished with very soon. It also means my Notre Dame boys are ready to rock. They'll be the ones getting rocked this year though unfortunately, but most reading will be happy about that. 6-7 wins would be an amazing feat, it's going to be ugly. Hopefully I'm wrong and the youngsters prove me wrong. WVU fans are going to love trash talking me all season long. They have a chance to go undefeated (hopefully I just jinxed them good, but I really can't see them not losing at least once) This is as good of a time as any to reveal my college football fantasy keeper league roster. Our team names have to be a former Heisman Trophy winner, so I'm Team Tim Brown in ManDingo League Football. Ladies and gentlemen, let's pull the curtain off and show the roster:

QB Omar Haugabook, Sr, Troy
QB Sam Kellar, Jr, Nebraska
QB Justin Willis, So, SMU
QB Nate Davis, So, Ball State
QB Adam Tafralis, Sr, San Jose State
QB Juice Williams, So, Illinois

RB Raymell Rice, Jr, Rutgers
RB Aaron Brown, Jr, TCU
RB Rodney Ferguson, Jr, New Mexico
RB Rashard Mendenhall, Jr, Illinois
RB Anthony Dixon, So, Mississippi State
RB Jalen Parmele, Sr, Toledo

WR Ryan Grice-Mullen, Jr, Hawaii
WR Ryan Wolfe, So, UNLV
WR Jaison Williams, Jr, Oregon
WR Derrick Stewart, Jr, Cincinnati
WR Britt Davis, Jr, Northern Illinois
WR Chaz Schilens, Sr, San Diego State

K Sam Swank, Jr, Wake Forest
K Taylor Mehlhaff, Sr, Wisconsin

Time to start wrapping this beast up with some Real World and Harry Potter mentions. This week's Real World? Dunbar tells Parisa she's "interesting" and she gets all torn up over it because he's not wanting into her pants. Then KellyAnne, who Dunbar thinks wants him, she tells him that she's just flirting around and doesn't want him. Doh, hah. Now it's this weird love triangle, Parisa wants Dunbar, Dunbar wants KellyAnne, KellyAnne just wants to be all over everyone. Now KellyAnne wants Cohutta and Dunbar is jealous. How is that not excellent TV? Tune in next week to see who cries first! Now for a Potter update? I'm a bit over 300 pages into Book 4. Slowly but surely, you know how it goes.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: http://www.myspace.com/christinemendoza

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Camouflage Back Massage, http://youtube.com/watch?v=nerafD96cPw



3 Quick Thangs:

1. September is here, so let's jump a bit to Saturday, September 1st to celebrate the birthdays: Gloria Estefan, she's now 50, dang. Wrestler Bam Bam Bigelow (RIP) would have been 46 on that day. Basketballer and one of the worst commentators ever, Timmy Hardaway, 41. Not a great day, but #basketball legend Neon helps the cause, Happy 25th to Neon!

2. How messed up is this Senator Larry Craig story from Idaho? Basically, he loves to go into bathrooms and find some dude to hook up with. Meanwhile, he's married and has been saying he's not gay for almost 30 years and busts out this quote, "Let me be clear, I am not gay! I never have been gay!" He pleads guilty to this stuff and then backs up on his word and says it's not true. Maybe it's just me, but this story is too funny. This guy is a weirdo, read up on the story if you haven't. Tapping feet in the bathroom? I've heard some crazy stuff, but didn't have a clue on that mess. Put him on Real World and let them rip him, they don't have a gay dude on there for once this season.

3. In Galesburg, Illinois, there is a $1000 fine for beating rats with baseball bats. I can't make this stuff up folks. Hope ya enjoyed, see ya next week!