Cornhole Action!

Get your cornhole on! No, we're not talking porn this time for once. We're talking some utter excitement to be had for the entire family. Again, keep your mind out of the gutter. Mine is usually there too, but we're going a different route on this one. Last Saturday, I got to make my first appearance to Kari and Matty Cakes' new house since they got married. First off on the house, I'm way impressed with the setup, so that has a thumbs up on my end. I'm not here to give real estate tips though, I'm here to keep everyone wanting to keep reading more, so I'll start with cornhole.



For those who have been with my blogs for a while, you'll remember my stories of Hillbilly Horseshoes in the past. This is a game that is basically the same except instead of using metal washers, you use beanbags. In short, you have two planks of wood with a hole inside. You try to throw the bags into the hole. I won't go through the point system and all of that. It's basically a redneck game where people can party and be all mangled, yet still be able to get in games. You can read the rules here and get a better idea if you have extra time: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cornhole_(game)

Since we had a big crew for Kari's cookout, I have to do the duties and list everyone who was there. As usual, I'll probably leave someone out, but if I do, just give me a cussing for the ages. We had Kari, Cakes, me, Spank, Cork, Kristin, Maria, Ozzie, The Fortneys, Tommy, Big Wes, Josh, Big John, Allison, Boyles, Tiger, and Mrs. Tiger. Anyone else? I have no idea. As part of that crew, Ozzie did the biggie and proposed to Maria. He big pimped and did it by putting the ring in a fortune cookie and having this elaborate plan thanks to Kari. I guess out of the cousin crew (6 of us), I'm the last one to try the marriage thing. I don't think people are surprised at that one, hah. And I'm pretty sure it won't be anytime soon either, but stranger things have happened. Next summer though, Ozzie will be married. I'm getting old, congrats to Ozzie and Maria, that's doing it up big.



Three paragraphs and I still haven't even mentioned much of the cookout or cornhole. I was over there from 6:00-1:00. Normally I'd feel like I was overstaying my time by being somewhere that long, but time flew by. The food was off the charts with the winners being Abbey's pasta salad and Maria's new pie creation with cream cheese, pudding, and a bunch of other stuff in it. I know it sounds messed up, but I tore that stuff up like no other. We played nonstop basically and had brackets set up. Yep, we have too much time on our hands when we're drawing out brackets and getting tourneys in, but everyone loved it. We had 2-person teams and switched those up some through the night. I started out playing with Josh and we did pretty good for rookies. Then Josh left and I teamed with Big John for the middle section of the night, what a character. The last few games of the night, me and Cork brought along domination.

Fortney and Spank were a team and called themselves Team Thick. Our crew is idiots all the time, so we're used to just goofing off and not caring. After a win, Fortney runs up to Boyles (who he has no clue who he is to begin with) and starts screaming in his face to do some fun trash talk and be silly. He didn't mean anything by it at all, but the rest of the night, that kid was scared to death at Fortney when he'd scream in his face at random. The character of the night for me and Spank's vote was definitely Tommy. He would just randomly say stuff to himself and drop f-bombs out of nowhere and crack us up. Maybe the rest of the crowd didn't think it was funny, but I was dying and we said Tommy is welcome to come back anytime, hah. Big John was a close second. He apologized for losing a cornhole game with me once because he was so mangled and even at one point said he was out there slobbering. I'm not sure why he apologized for that since I was just out there having fun anyways, but he thought that ruined my day that he let us down when he really didn't. Oh well, it made for a good experience. I could write a bunch more, but I need to get to other topics. Before that, I'll leave you all with a good cornhole video. Our crew is talking about having one in the works, so look out. Anyways, this may give a little explanation of what the game is all about with a catchy tune:



My crew has already seen this story, but it's worth getting out there for the masses to see. Felisha gave me the heads up on this action and I can't get enough of it. Quickly, we have a thing on the radio that the rapper/actor Ice-T did that was bashing Soulja Boy for claiming he ruined hip hop. Then SB comes back with his retaliation. After that, T gave a counter-reaction and straight up brought it in my opinion. Some hilarious lines in these vids, but I'll just post the T response and you can search around to find the others. "I apologize to you Soulja Boy for telling you to eat a dick." "Hip hop ain't gonna last with you doing that Superman bullshit man." "You can't hurt my career, I'm caked out." "When you go against me, you go against the whole West Coast, you go against all the O.G.'s, and trust me, there will be ramifications. Not from me, but from hip hop. You done fucked up lil homie!" How great is this stuff? Seriously now.



What's going on with softball? We had a doubleheader last Friday night. We went into the night with a 2-2 record. With a sweep, we'd be over .500 and at 4-2. That was the goal. The goal wasn't reached, but we'll take it for now. We lost the first game in the Bottom of the 7th in a heartbreaker, 7-6. The second game, we needed redemption. That's when it seemed like we were on roids and had the most runs ever in the history of our team's short lived career, 20! We won 20-16 in a slugfest. On a sidenote, this team had a dude that was every bit of 400lbs, if not 450, ouch. Trev was dealing on the mound for these games. He had at least 10 strikeouts on the day and you don't see that too often in slow ball. I was happy with my play in both games. 1-2 with a walk and a run in the first game, 3-4 with 2 doubles and a triple in the second. I could've had an inside-the-parker, but Trev as 3rd base coach at the time held me up since we were up so big. I guess we wanted to be nice guys. In the field, I made one of my better catches of the season on running one down as fast as I could behind second as I came in from deep center, that's always fun times. Our next game is a makeup on Saturday against The Sandlot Ninjas I do believe.

In random news, I was washing my car on Saturday before the cookout bonanza. After I was done, I left my windows down and my keys in the ignition. I didn't think anything of it, thinking I'd just drive my car to the cookout shortly after. I ended up not taking my car and I get back and hang for a while and go to bed. Dad wakes up in the morning to get the paper and notices my windows down and the keys in it. No biggie usually, but it was raining decently that night in times, so I had the inside of my car soaked, but it didn't hurt a thing. He thought maybe I started drinking for the first time at the cookout as he forgot I didn't take my car, hah. Nope, just a lapse of my mind and that's how it goes. So if you live in my town, the car was unlocked with the windows down and keys in it for the taking. Crazy how you can leave doors unlocked around here and you don't have to worry, the benefits of living in a little town. The moral? Roll your windows up before the rain.



Our very own DerekHood brought up a funny story yesterday. I'll let him take us away with some quotes:

My roommate was up near the Missouri border last weekend doing some fishing, and they went into Missouri to a convenience store and he found some beer he'd never seen before. And, since it was only $9.99 for a 30 pack (!!!) he couldn't pass it up. It's brewed up in La Crosse, Wisc. by Hat Trick, Inc. and it carries the glorious name Beer 30 Light.

I did some Googling and found some reviews:

"Jul 30, 2006
From a can. The body is very pale yellow with a white head that stayed longer than I expected. The aroma was sweat socks with some used urinal cakes. There was also some bologna. The taste was nasty old corn and some paper. There was also a bit of bell pepper in the finish. Very watered down."

"Nov 6, 2007
I thought this was grape soda when I bought it, but man, am I glad it wasn’t! This is the best beer ever because the can tells me when to drink! Apparently every 15 minutes is beer 30 according to the awesome purple can. The flavor is perfect, no actual taste, just slightly alcoholic skunk water. PERFECT!"

I recommend it to homeless people and West Virginians everywhere.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: http://www.myspace.com/missnorcal

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Felisha gets credit for this gem. This kid will crack you up. Loaded with the cussing if you're into that. I've watched it over and over. I guess I have too much time on my hands: http://www.livesteez.com/videos/watch/UrBXSFn

3 Quick Thangs:

1. Birthdays for Friday, June 27th? Politician Ross Perot and also billionaire, is 78 on this day. Country singer Trisha Yearwood, 49. Another country music chick, Lorrie Morgan, who hooked up with Troy Aikman for a while, she's also 49 and still looks nice. NBA baller Chuck Person, he's rifling it up for his 44th. Spiderman Tobey Maguire, 33, getting up there. Yep, I realize that's a terrible birthday list. Feels like every year I do the same birthdays.

2. Remember how last week I had the story of the guy looking like Borat at church? Thinking of someone forever that they remind you of a certain celeb, it takes forever to find and then it happens. Arizona Jas commented the other day that I remind her of a young DeNiro in Taxi Driver. Good stuff. It's funny to hear who other people compare you to. Over the years I've heard Marc Bulger of NFL fame, Freddie Prinze Jr., Jeff Gordon, the Blues Clues dude, and now DeNiro. Quite a variety, even if some may not be close, it's still interesting.

3. Speaking of keys in the car.. here's a stat for you to feast on. Nearly 20% of vehicles that are stolen had the keys in them. See you guys next week.

"I'm Certified!"- Kevin Garnett

There's only one way I can start out this blog. Like it or not, I get to gloat for once on my Boston Celtics. And yeah, I can say "my", even if the team has no clue who I am. Anyways, it's been a 22 year wait and it's finally back. I've seen a decent bit of Yankees World Series wins in my lifetime, my Bears went back to the Super Bowl a few years ago and my Tarheels have even won a few. Howevahhh, those don't even come up on the radar in comparison to my love for the Celtics. As most know me, NBA ball is where it's at and that's my passion in life. I know, that may seem weird to some, but that's how it goes.



One thing that truly bugs me and it happens to all title teams I suppose, is bandwagon fans. I know I can speak for my area and then some. Suddenly, everyone and their brother claims they were a Celtics fan for years and years and have suffered through the bad seasons. Get out of here with that garbage. I've even called people out on that when they start that junk to me after the win. Most of these people couldn't tell you a single thing on the NBA and now they act like they've watched every game. I can guarantee they weren't there for the 15-win season in 1996-97. Or how about 19 wins in 1998-99. 24 wins in 2006-07? Nope, you weren't there, so stop saying it and making yourself into a bigger fool. I know I'm on a tangent here, but it just fires me up that nobody (at least in my area) is a true NBA fan and now they're coming out of the closet.

It was nice the day after to get a ton of phone calls from my crew giving me the congrats. Calls all the way from North Carolina and the like talking about how they knew I was going crazy for the win. I've always said I love most other sports and consider myself a pretty big fan, but when it comes to NBA, that's as good as it gets, even if I'm one of 6 NBA fans left East of the Mississippi. Before I get into other topics, for those who haven't seen Kevin Garnett's wacky on-court air time after the game, you are in for a treat. First off, for those who don't know KG, he's full or energy and gives 110%. The funny/weird thing is that he just screams and cusses out of nowhere and talks to himself at the foul line. He's right up there on the f-bomb scale with Scarface and my barber. The Finals were on ABC and the final few minutes of the game they had to constantly bleep out KG on live TV for doing just that. Tie those thoughts in with him screaming out his hoods in Chicago and the like in this clip and you won't know what to think, it's entertainment, even if you're not a basketball fan, you must watch: http://youtube.com/watch?v=jSmD5oAhTmo



Are you ever somewhere and it's stuck in your head? What do I mean? You're looking at some random goofball and for the longest time you're trying to figure out who they remind you of. We've all been there of course. The other night at church this guy across from me had a resemblance to someone famous, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I was thinking that it'd be in my head forever if I didn't figure it out right away. Sometimes when you figure it out you get disappointed, other times not. After about 15-20 minutes of me getting mad at myself, I finally figured out this guy. Who did he look like? Borat. For stories like these and many others, that's what you come here for, or so I hope.

I forgot to mention this one a few weeks ago, so I'll throw it in now. The setting is at a sporting event or anything with a lot of people for that matter. Your car is parked in the parking lot, nothing out of the ordinary so far. The next minute you hear an announcement that someone in a certain type of car needs to move their vehicle. They also give the license plate number with this as well usually. During the football game a few weeks ago with Cork and Kristin, I did the driving in the trusty Buick (soon to have something else in the next month or so probably). Over the PA system, they call for someone in a Buick to move their car. They didn't even say what kind of Buick or what color, idiots. They give the plate number and Cork looks and me and wonders if that is mine. He asks and I have no clue at all what my plate number is. When I said I didn't know and wanted to just continue to remain in my seat, both of them were shocked that I didn't know my plate number. By the end of the game, I still didn't go out and check and took the chance it wasn't mine. I guessed what I thought it was and was way off. Apparently everyone knows that on their car, but I sure don't. I guess I'm the fool, but I come home and knew that Dad wouldn't know either, so that makes two of us. When else would I need that number? It's funny how I can memorize video game codes from 20 years ago, yet don't even bother with my license plate number. I rambled, but there you go on a side story.



The video games have still been rockin'. That's one of the main things I've been doing all summer break. I may never grow up, but I know I'm having fun doing so. Mario Kart Wii has never got a bit of being old. It's a smooth and fun game, plus the online with it is worth it alone. On the 360 front, I got tired of NECKCAR 09 in about 2 days. I traded that away to Walz for Project Gotham Racing 3. It wasn't a new game, but with as rough as NASCAR 09 was for me, I like the trade a lot. PGR3 is quality and simple to use. NASCAR has awesome graphics and gameplay, but the menus and online play wasn't up to par in my mind. And it doesn't have a 2-player option, you serious? Of course I'm still playing Grand Theft Auto IV as well, a lot of time consumed in that. But the past day or so, I'm hooked on old times. Through XBox Live Marketplace, I bought Street Fighter II Hyper Fighting for around $10 and it's the same as the SNES version. SF is easily the best fighting game ever, I won't even argue that point. The online on this is phenomenal as well. If you didn't get my 360 gamertag before, my name on there is Bird33WV, add me.

I'd be fooling people if I didn't talk about my favorite day of the entire year. Yep, you guessed it, the NBA Draft. I'm not lying on saying that is my favorite day of the year either, it's a tradition for me and I get amped up for the action that is about to go down on Thursday, June 26th. My boys don't get a top pick this year, but that doesn't stop me from being focused for that night. As usual, it's time to bust out the pencil and paper as I've been doing this for over 20 years with that style. Yeah, that far back as a little tot I was jotting it down. It's a night when I don't answer the phone and don't want to be bothered. I go into my own little world for about 5 hours that night.

Oh yes, we're due for some new CDs to the collection. This time, we go with 4 rap and one R&B. It's time to break it down, even though I just got done getting these, so not much of a review can be given at this time.



Lil Scrappy: Prince Of The South. The first of three Atlanta CDs this time around, we loaded up. I support Atlanta enough that I should be given free passes at Waffle Houses all over the land and as much true sweet tea that I can drink. Anyways, Scrappy started out as one of Lil Jon's boys and is still so. Now, he doesn't need the extra stuff and does a fine job on his own. I'm a fan, he doesn't get enough credit in my mind.

Lil Wayne: Tha Carter III. The self-proclaimed best rapper alive is back with a hot one as Randy Jackson would say. People have been waiting on this one for a bit and from early sales and reviews, it seems to have delivered. I'm a huge Weezy fan to begin with, so I figure this should be fine and worth the get.

Pastor Troy: A.T.L. - A-Town Legend. It seems like I got a Troy album not long ago. I did actually, but he's back again. Same style as usual, you get the gritty Atlanta feel as only he can do. If you're into the Dirty South meanness instead of the Dirty South bling/car rap (confused yet?), then Troy is your guy.

RZA: Digi Snax. It's like Bone Thugs all over again, yet with Wu Tang. These guys have CDs out ALL the time. That is a good thing by the way and RZA may be my favorite of the entire crew as far as what he brings lyrically. Bobby Digital is doing it big here, something you need to check out if you're into some real rap instead of the garbage that is out there a lot these days.

Usher: Here I Stand. Our third ATL guy and we go R&B for the ladies. You know what you're getting with Ursh. Right up there with Chris Brown as far as dancing goes and he's been around the game. Plus, he does a good job with the music too if you ask me and has a style that fits his persona. Speaking of all of these guys, the BET Awards are coming up! It's my favorite music awards show out there and it'll be on Tuesday night at 8:00 PM EST, be there.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: I think Jas may take over this entire section. We'll have to put her name on it eventually, but she's back with another find for us. She says she has to keep on top of me, so we have another gem to the blog. Also, be safe on trip out East Jas. We have some high quality right here when ya go into her pics. Check it out: http://www.myspace.com/389659376

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Taco Bell parking lot fight. I wonder if they know their license plate numbers. They'd be one up on me if so. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hViofX551gQ



3 Quick Thangs:

1. Let's open up some birthdays. We'll try Saturday, June 21st, the first day of summer: Baseballer and current announcer, Rick Sutcliffe, 52 now and beating cancer. NBA whitey Tom Chambers. The thing I always remember most about Chambers is how well he could throw down in traffic on people's heads. That and in the old Lakers versus Celtics game for Sega Genesis, Chambers could dunk from the 3 point line and there was nothing you could do to stop it. Kip Winger of the band Winger of course (80s hair band, represent) is 47, wow. Actress Nicole Kidman, 41. Baskeballer Derrick Coleman is also 41. Current NBA baller Richard Jefferson, 28. Nothing amazing here, but a good batch of mid level celebs, if they're even that.

2. Want a little tip to help your night? For a better night of sleep, make the room as dark as possible, turn off the phones, and crank in some earplugs. Take this from a guy that sleeps till late afternoon all summer.

3. Today's fact? You are more likely to be attacked by a cow than a shark.

Slice That Bagel!

Now I can finally kick back and get paid to sit around online all summer and do nothing. My last day of work for the summer was on Tuesday, so now I have to figure out what to do in the spare time. As a way to spoil myself, and with no chick or anyone to spend it on, I might as well use it for something. I've debated for the past week or so on new video game action. I ended up jumping on the XBox 360 train and have loved it so far. I'm still a Nintendo homer, but this will let me branch out a bit more for some different type of games. I ended up getting the Pro console, Grand Theft Auto IV, an extra wireless controller, a rechargeable battery pack, a year's worth of Live online, a adapter.



After fooling around with the wireless adapter, I was having problems. I'm pretty good at that stuff, but it became frustrating. My Wii was much easier to setup through my wireless hookup, but no luck with my 360. The bad part is my router and 360 are in different rooms so I went with the $100 adapter, which to me is a waste of money. Then I figured out that I'd go to town and buy a 25 foot ethernet cable and string it from two rooms. Bingo! It ended up saving me $85 once I take the adapter back. As far as GTA, it's quality stuff. I couldn't put it down on the first day and I'm sure it'll be like that for a while. I've played a ton online with Walz and the boys and the trash talk on there with the headsets is a good time for sure. I also plan to get NECKCAR (NASCAR) 09 this week for another game. The online on it is supposed to be wild. I'm not a NECKCAR at all in real life, but you can't go wrong with racing games. In an update, I picked up NECKCAR on Thursday and it's really good online after playing around with it (no homo) all afternoon.

Here's one that has always puzzled me. We all like bagels, or most of us in some fashion. I'll set it up for you. You go to the store and buy a pack of bagels. You come home and get ready to throw them in the toaster. Each bagel is halfway cut for you already. Why can't they just slice the thing in half to begin with? Doesn't mostly everyone just slice it in half anyways? And then sometimes you go to rip them in half and it's not even and blah blah. In other words, make bagels simple. It's not luxury food we're eating there.



I know most people are big fans of hot weather, but you know how I feel on that. The past week has been brutal here. I know other areas get in the 100s and all of that mess, but the humidity here is bad times. Forget this, it's not for me one bit. I'm still out there in it running everyday and all of that, but it's been miserable. 90+ in WV isn't good times, especially in early June.

I know I'm getting old when I'm going to 3 year old kids' birthday parties. That was the setting for last Saturday's action at the Posey House. On scenic Tank Hill, we did it big for Kierstn's Dora themed party. It was roasting, mid 90s in temperature and that was rough duty. Howevahhh, I did end up having a real good time up there actually. I did one of my good deeds of the week by helping Posey put together a swingset. The food was quality as usual and I didn't even mind goofing off with all the kiddies at the party. I'm still part kid myself, so no wonder. I'm not sure I could do that for like an entire day with that age, but I can handle it in doses and make a fool out of myself. Another good deed of the week was fixing the neighbors' internet a few days, so maybe I have some karma coming my way.



Here's one that bugs me. You're driving down the interstate and minding your own business. Then out of nowhere you see one of those pointless digital speed limit machines. You kidding me? That's a waste of the state's money since they serve basically zero purpose. Maybe it's different in bigger areas that have the machines that take pictures of speeders and such, but not in my bum area. I'm not a big speed demon, but one of those isn't going to scare me from going about with how I normally do on the road. If it wouldn't be a federal crime, I'd love to just take a ball bat and go nuts on one of these things. That'd be fun in and of itself just bashing it into pieces. Hey, even a guy that is usually calm most of the time still has urges to obliterate things into pieces with a ball bat. :)

Since last week, you all want an update on genius topic that Kasher has created for us. You can read the last edition that will give the breakdown better, but for now, here's a quick recap of where we stand with the Idol dirties. As I type this, we're now down to #25. From 43, this is what we have: Mandisa, Amy Adams, Fantasia, Amanda Overmyer, Vanessa Olivarez, LaKisha Jones, Melinda Doolittle, Carly Smithson, Paris Bennett, Nikki McKibbin, Gina Glocksen, Stephanie Edwards, LaToya London, Trenyce, Nadia Turner, Kimberley Locke, Vonzell Solomon, Jessica Sierra, and Mikalah Gordon. As a side note, Kasher has also put up the 5 hottest who failed to make the Finals starting at 5 and going down: Becky O'Donohue, Alaina Whitaker, Alaina Alexander, Alexis, and Antonella Barba. Out of the 25-43 so far, I'm big on Paris, Kimberley, and Mikalah.



I try not to fill my blogs with nothing but sports related items, but I have to mention the next thing. I've waited for 21 years, but finally my Celtics are back where they belong in the NBA Finals. As I'm typing this section out, Game 4 is about to go down in LA and Boston is up 2 games to 1. For those who know me, it's NBA mode for me 365 days per year. I'm a huge fan of the other sports, but NBA is what it's all about for me. I'm leery that LA gets 3 games in a row at home, but if worse comes to worse, the final two are in Boston. In related news, I was talking to Cali Jas (we'll have Arizona Jas appearing here in a few) earlier and asking her for any blog ideas. She's a sports nut, so she told me to talk about soccer (which I know nothing about) or my Celtics. She says it's important for her that Boston wins because she has a sex bet with a dude on it. I can't make these things up. Yep, these are my blog readers and buddies, always worthy of stories.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: This week, we give the reigns back to none other than Arizona Jas. She's gotta be the winner of most ho selections from the readers, she does it big. Here is her new choice: http://www.myspace.com/shayyynaaa

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Random kids getting into a weak rumble, but it's still funny: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-R5eaM2-kY



3 Quick Thangs:

1. The blog constituents have an apology to make. As I did the celeb birthdays last week, I left out one of the blog's biggest contributors out of action. None other than Corndog, so we'd like to send out a Happy Belated to the mean streets of Logan County! I did send the birthday shoutouts to him in Lobstah, but left them out in here. Anyways, let's try some new ones.. Friday, June 13th! We start out with actor Tim Allen, 55. Former NBA sideline chick, Hannah Storm, 46. Then we have the anorexic Olsen Twins, 22. Not much of a list today, but at least we get Corndog back in action.

2. How about a fun fact? For the Australian readers, and I have some actually, it's kangaroo time. A kangaroo can only jump if its tail is touching the ground.

3. Today's word of advice. Don't step into a pile of gum. That's common sense anyways, but I was at the mall earlier. Out of nowhere, I find out that I stepped into a big wad of gum with a pair of sandals on. Talk about hard to get off, but that's how it goes, I survived.

Semipro Football Groupies

When I'm getting threats from Germany to get a new blog in, that's all I need to know. You guys all keep me on my toes, so it's time to whip up the mixer and figure out what kind of batter we're going to put into this writing. We're now at June and bum time I can see right around the corner. My kiddies are done this week and my last one is Tuesday, so that'll rock. I like my job a lot, but it'll be much better to sleep in, be up late on here and just do nothing for about 3 months and get paid for it. I could write a book on some of the characters I teach, with some hilarious stories that would blow your mind, but that probably wouldn't be the best thing to throw up on the internet, so I'll refrain from that. I hear boos from the crowd, but that's how it goes. Now I'll try to drown out the boos and get on with the body of this piece. Boos to cheers!



I realize everyone reading isn't a sports fan. Well, I'm here to keep your attention in this paragraph, even if you don't care a bit about football. Last weekend, Cork had the idea for me to roll to MoTown to see the West Virginia Gladiators. That would be our local semi-pro football team. We go to Morgantown High's field and it was my first time on it believe it or not. Turf field and all, we don't see that much in my area. For $5, you get your money's worth and then some. Anyways, Cork and Kristin were along for the festivities. We guessed there were about 200 people there for the season opener. The best part about the night to me was how random things were and that you saw some strange agents. Now I wished I had taken the trusty camera along, I'll have to try that at another game maybe. Anyways, it was neat seeing a lot of guys we knew in the area from ball in the past. There was actually some talent on the field, they weren't garbage players. They played the Lima Warriors (come out and play-ayyyyy) who were last season's champs and it showed in a 23-0 win, Lima did their business. Groupies. A nice tie-in because these players had some trashy girls wanting to get all over them. It's not like many of these girls looked good, they were rough and ones you wouldn't want to bring home, but at least they had very little clothes on, so at least something was in it for the few who looked fair.

Remember, this is pretty low budget. I compare it to independent wrestling, the shows that come to your area that 50 people show up to. Nothing that will blow your mind as far as production, but you almost always have a good time. It's like a family atmosphere, even if the people that show up are dysfunctional. They had a grill going with dogs for $1 and burgers for $2. By the 3rd quarter, they ran out of food and pop both, way to organize that one fellas. Before the game, it was time to jam to the National Anthem. You could hear them talking in the booth that they couldn't find the audio. They had us stand up for it to be ready, but told us to sit back down as they were having problems. Then they pull this poor girl out of the crowd to wing it and do it up. A horrendous effort. She would go for a bit and then pause for a good 5-10 seconds, breathing heavy and I thought she was going to quit. She made it through, bad voice and all, and the fans ended up clapping for her because she at least had the balls to get up there on short notice. And for one of the best (worst) of all time, it's the Carl Lewis clip. You all know what I'm talking about: http://youtube.com/watch?v=IXD_j2ZTNEA. And I've posted on it before I believe, but now it's time for the best Anthem I've ever seen, Canada blows us away on this, you have to see the passion: http://youtube.com/watch?v=meLpuF9UMvk.



As promised, I said I'd unveil the project that Kasher has created in Lobstah for us all to be a part of. For those who know me and my crew, we're big American Idol fans. I know, that's something most guys wouldn't admit, but hey, we're not normal I guess. This blog will feature some f-bombs, but it's nothing you all don't say every other word anyways, so you'll feel like home. What he's done has been nothing short of genius and he deserves all credit. The topic of his debate is "Ranking the 43 Idol Women in Order of Fuckability". I kid you not. Guys or girls, you know you're interested in what goes down with this. I'll let Kasher tell us the deal since he created it: "After 7 seasons of the show, there have been 43 women who have made it to the finals of American Idol. I will now rank these women not by their singing talent, but in order of who is most fuckable. I will try to do one per day." As of the day he started it up, we have the following: 43. Mandisa, 42. Amy Adams, 41. Fantasia, 40. Amanda Overmyer, 39. Vanessa Olivarez, 38. LaKisha Jones, 37. Melinda Doolittle, 36. Carly Smithson, 35. Paris Bennett, 34. Nikki McKibbin. We're having some great arguments about it and even the girls I've talked to are getting a big kick out of this drama. The straight links don't appear to work, but if you're wanting to check, try to login and then go to the Movies & TV forum: http://lobsterrodeo.proboards76.com

Here's one that I always thought was weird. I'll set it up for you. A big storm is brewing and is close to hitting your area. As you have the radio on, you get the robotic voice that warns you of any danger. I was getting my haircut last week and was wanting to hear my barber's wise words of wisdom as usual. Nobody was there for him to cuss or argue with, but the robot voice comes across the airwaves as I'm in the chair. "Fuck! I don't know what the fuck that thing is saying on the radio! They can't just tell us straight up what the fuck is going on, but we have to hear that fuckin' thing I can't understand!" That pretty much sums it up. It's 2008, they can't upgrade that somehow? Again, it's always worth the price of admission to hear his wise words, the haircut is just an afterthought.



Most people reading have a MySpace account, so you'll know this next bit of information. Feast on this one. Lately the craze has been for buddies to send movie quiz scores or the little thing where they buy you as a pet and show how much they'd pay. You kidding me on that junk? I compare it forwarded emails and you all know how I feel about those as I've went back and forth on that many of times in here. The same pertains to these movie and pet payment deals. What do I do with them? They almost always get the deny comment selection from me. I don't want that up wasting space on my front page, but I guess a lot of people are in love with it. Spare me right now and don't even send that.

We're 3 games deep into the softball season. Dyno Nobel is off to a 1-2 start, not what we want, but we'll bounce back. Last season, we started out rough in the first part of the year, only to end up 3rd overall in a league of about 14 teams. This season, I'm not quite as sure. We're fielding very good for the most part, but it seems the bats haven't been awake yet. Still, it's a blast for me and whatever happens, happens. My game? I'm somewhat happy with how things are going. I'm a slap/contact hitter and my goal is to run everything out as fast as I can and then motor around the basepaths. I don't like putting the ball into the air much unless I have to, so the ultimate hit would be to 3rd base or shortstop and just run it out. I even got a little bloody sliding into 2nd in the last game, good times. My thing though is fielding. I feel that with me and Posey as a team in left center/right center, we have the outfield on lock. I'd MUCH rather field than hit, but I'm sure others would go the other way. In one last thing, we were playing against this hot little pitcher in little pink shorts and high socks (that's how great co-ed softball is) and she was crowding the plate as she batted. The pitch hit her elbow and put an insane knot on her that blew up in no time. She toughed it out, but how do you not get out of the way in slowpitch softball? Who knows. I'll update things on how the season goes of course, whether you're interested or not, I'll try my best to put in some gems to keep you wanting more.



The past few days at work I've made into movie day. I haven't had one in a while, so I was due, plus it makes my day easier too. I let the kids argue over what they wanted to see, so they brought in a few things. One day we watched Transformers. I hadn't seen it before and didn't figure it'd be my kind of movie. It's not great, but it's good for middle school aged kids and I enjoyed it too. They were as quiet as can be while watching, even though they had all seen it before. The next day, they decided on 2 Fast 2 Furious. I've seen it a zillion times myself, but once again, these kids were glued to the TV and it worked. I like all three of the Furious movies, so I was fine with it. Or as Luda would say, "I'm too fast for ya'll manneeeee."

It's time to start a new book, but I'm not sure what route I'll go next. I just finished up Bret Hart's, My Real Life in the Cartoon World of Wrestling, 592 pages worth. The wrestling fans are going to absolutely love this one. Go pick it up as soon as you can, I'm not messing around. I never get tired of reading wrestling books, but I may switch it up this time, who knows what will go down. One on the recommendation list from ManDingo is Bringing Down the House from Ben Mezrich which tells the story of the movie 21, the blackjack movie I reviewed when it came out in theaters.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: http://www.myspace.com/vanityflair

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Scary sheep! This is a simple vid, but I'm loving it for some reason. Someone put a mask on a sheep and he's walking around scaring the others without knowing. http://youtube.com/watch?v=xKExXjFAQz4

3 Quick Thangs:

1. Let's try Wednesday, June 4th to see who gets to open presents. Baseballer Tony Pena, 51. Basketballer Xavier McDaniel and fashion guy Mossimo Giannulli turn 45. Speaking of X-Man, he was part of one of my favorite Larry Bird stories. The game was on the line against the Sonics. Boston had the ball and were down. Bird, as the timeout goes down, walks over to X-Man and points out the exact spot he's going to hit the shot in his face for the win. So what happens? Bird does just as he said and X-Man walks off shaking his head. Actor Noah Wyle, 37. Angelia Jolie, popping babies left and right, 33. Speaking of the god himself Larry Bird, Magic Johnson's son Earvin Johnson III is 16.

2. "What a dumb fuckin' commercial! And it's on every 5 minutes!"- Dad on the Planters commercial where they have the chick all mangled who rubs peanuts on her to attract the guys. I couldn't agree anymore myself. http://youtube.com/watch?v=8MyiOI6bsOM

3. Today's fact you may not know.. You are more likely to get attacked by a cow than a shark.