Lil Smokies, Meatballs Blowing Up, & Sour Patch Kids

Ok, here we go. January is about wrapped up and we'll see what February has in store for us. As a quick preview in this one you get my thoughts on a few movies, packaging woes, gripes about MySpace and Facebook, kiddie birthdays, food thoughts, Lil Smokies, Goody's getting the Finger of Shame, words of wisdom from my crew, and no candy for a while.. That's just a portion of what to expect, whether it's good or not, we'll find out soon I'm sure..



I was due for some new iPod headphone buds. My old ones were about shot. I buy a pair of those JVC marshmallow buds that I've been a fan of. They're only $20. That's not the story though. The story is what it is packaged in. These people who package things must want you to think that gold is inside. I practically need a knife to open these things. And how about DVDs? It's like you need to be the world's strongest man to open half of those. What's the point? I don't need a workout when I open something new that I buy. It's a $20 piece of junk, make it simple to open for us people who don't carry around deer knives with them 24/7. Is that too much to ask for?

Once again we have several movies to review. The first I had been intrigued by when I've been seeing previews on TV. The weird thing is that it's not even out in theaters till this week, but I've already been able to see, good times. That movie would be Taken. It doesn't seem like the type of movie I'd normally check out since it has that thriller aspect to it. It's not a scary movie so to speak, it's definitely more action. It stars Liam Neeson, who I honestly didn't know anything about, but apparently he's been in some pretty big films. The lead chick is Maggie Grace, another I don't have a clue about. Nothing amazing, but not half bad, and much better with dark hair than blonde. The lead character reminds me of a mix between MacGyver (I guess I'm dating myself on that one) and Jason Bourne. It's predictable, but the action and storyline involved are pretty good. Also, after I was on the fence with watching this one, Arizona Jas sealed it. She had already seen it too and along with dropping some f-bombs in her review, that sold it for me. I was saying that the movie critics need to start cussing in their reviews some. You know that'd sell you if nothing else, just for a laugh. For my ranking, we'll go with 6.9 stolen girls taken hostage out of 10.



The crowd is demanding another movie review. I guess when the demands come, I have to get on my A-game and get with it. This one is another recommendation. I'm a huge Adam Sandler guy, but never got around to seeing You Don't Mess With The Zohan. Shawna sent this as a recommendation and she knows I'm always down to watch the pointless comedies with not much plot. Those are my movies for sure. I was wanting the old Sandler back, not serious Sandler and we got him in this one. If you like his old stuff, you should be a fan of this one too. This movie is hilarious. Michael Buffer being one of the villains, that sort of cracked me up. Scrappy Coco! For those who have already seen this one over the summer, you'll know what I mean there, that name had me laughing, guess it's just me. Shawna also wants the chicks to know that she was impressed that Sandler was somewhat built in this movie. Seems weird to picture him as someone that works out, but who knows, just throwing her note in there. I'm going to give this one 7.1 swift kicks to the face with a fake accent out of 10.

Everyone and their brother is on MySpace and Facebook. Granted, I am too and get hooked like the rest of you. Something that bugs me, and as I usually say, I can't be the only one, deals with requests sent. No, I don't want to adopt a virtual pet on there. No, I don't want to have some funny card or stupid joke sent to me. No, I don't want to save the world with the earth tokens. Please save yourself the time people. I'm sure 80% of the ones who receive this garbage could care less, if not more. If you're into that type of thing, more power to you, but it's not my cup of tea. It doesn't make me too mad, but it's just a hassle when you constantly get that junk. The same goes for the fake porn style chicks who send you friend requests. The cycle never ends, yet we're all still on there 24/7 as we spend hours looking at bums, their pics, and what they've been up to.



This was a few weeks ago during the Monopoly Weekend. I could've slipped it in at that time, but I had enough topics going that time around. I was driving up Bridgeport Hill for the locals that know the area. Ozzie and Maria were riding along. That night it was probably 20 degrees tops if we were lucky. Wind was whipping and it was snowy, nothing you wanted to be outside hanging out in. Goody's in my area (maybe nationwide, I dunno) is going out of business. On the side of the highway in the freezing cold, Goody's had the bad nature to send one of their workers outside with a sign. First off, this was about a mile from where the store actually is, but he was out where all the cars pull into this area. This guy is out there in 10 layers of clothes and holding this sign for people to go shop at Goody's. Oh my! We better get our lowly worker out there to hold this sign since we're going out of business, the world is ending! If that guy didn't get paid at least double what he made an hour inside the store, then that's dirty. Forget that. Goody's, due to that, you get this week's Finger of Shame. I mean, who does that to their workers? The big chief doesn't know what hard work is and he's sending someone out there making probably less than $7 an hour to hold a sign, looking like a homeless person begging for food.

Saturday was big birthday action high atop scenic Tank Hill in Shinnston. No, it wasn't mine, that was earlier in the month ,even though there was no party. This one was for Lil Posey who turned 2. The house was jammed packed with 30+ people I'm guessing and Kaiden was having a good time. I had pressure on me since Scherri always says I usually do it up big with coming up with some good birthday presents for the kiddies. I'm not ready for my own by any means (scary thought and my buddies would agree), but I might as well hook up the kids of my buddies, why not. I ended up getting a dinosaur toy set, a big ambulance that made sounds to drive Posey crazy, and police car that also made noise. As an added bonus, usually when we're up there hanging, Scherri's and her side of the family doesn't mess around one bit with the good eats. Still, as some random info for you to soak in, the best wedding food I've been part of was when Posey and Scherri did their thing, no comparison at all. So much stuff to eat on Saturday though, but my favorite being the homemade Lil Smokies in sauce, it doesn't get much better.



Since the Lil Smokies have me hungry as I type this, it's time to talk about a few things you should munch on. I'll give you two things to pick up this week at the store. The first would be Eggo Bake Shop Swirlz, preferably strawberry. If you're a fan of Pillsbury Toaster Strudel, you'll be in god shape with these. These are also a bit easier than Toaster Strudel and I know a lot reading want to go the lazy route. The icing is already inside these things when you throw them in the toaster, so that saves time. Once they're ready to eat, you don't have to do anything with icing, it's done for you, simple as that. Our second thing, we'll hit up will be granola bars. After playing ball each Sunday, I've been picking up a big 32 ounce Renegade (Sheetz's version of Gatorade that is pretty good) and a few granola bars to hold me off till dinner a few hours later. I've been hitting up Nature Valley's strawberry yogurt bars, they're quality. You wouldn't think of a granola bar being that special, but this is a good one to pick up if you're on the road.

It's time for a short break to hear what some of my buddies have been up to. First, we get Corndog giving us his words of wisdom on his recent food excursion:

Corndog: I got some bad news to report
Me: Uh oh, whatcha got?
Corndog: $4.22 worth of baloney was left out on the counter this morning after i made my lunch
Me: Doh.. big bummer right there.
Corndog: and another thing.....
Corndog: Campbells Chunky Soup says to heat the Rigatoni and Meatballs for 3 - 4 minutes in the microwave
Corndog: i put it for 3 minutes and it blew up
Corndog: a noodle and a meatball actually escaped the bowl in the process
Me: Hah!! Rough food day out there.
Corndog: and in case youre wondering....yes i put it back in the bowl
Bird33: Gotta get your money's worth.
Corndog: i believe in equal rights

And now we move along to Kasher and DerekHood's thoughts on American Idol, uncensored:

"Alright. What's really bothering me lately are the people who make it to Hollywood, but who come out of the audition room with a "pretend sad" look on their face to try and fool their family/friends outside. But really they're hiding their orange paper behind their back or inside their hat or whatever, and then pull the paper out after they walk out just to get a reaction. Fucking stop it. Just stop."- Kasher

"One thing that's bothered me, much moreso than the fake sadness thing that Kash mentioned, is the pansy motherfuckers whining and crying about how this is their dream and pretty please give them another chance and they'll outwork everybody and their children are there and their mothers are dying and kittens will be murdered by the millions if they don't get to go to Hollywood ... and then the judges pass them through. What the fuck? When did this turn into America's Got Talent?"- DerekHood

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: Arizona Jas takes her seat in this section once again. The girl she's sending along has a whopping 324 pics. 324? Jodine, she has nothing on you though, hah. A good mix of pics, so we'll consider this girl from New Jersey, worthy for the blog's sake. I do gotta give her credit for decent music on the page and the Obama theme. http://www.myspace.com/she3baby

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Here we go with a video I was sent, but the person who sent doesn't want credit. Ok, either way is cool with me. Here is a New York Giants fan turning into a little baby once his team was out of the playoffs to the Eagles. Not safe to listen to at work, or at least not with speakers cranked. This guy is a mess, but you know you'll laugh just like I did:





3 Quick Thangs:

1. Since we already have the birthday feel in the air for this blog, why not try Thursday, January 29th. Actor Tom Selleck starts things off with celebrating his 64th. Wrestling legend, Jerry "The King" Lawler, he hits the big 6-0. Oprah goes for 55. Actor Nicholas Turturro of old NYPD Blue fame, I don't consider him much of a huge celeb, but maybe he is, 47. Former Bills wideout great Andre Reed, Spank and Matty Cakes will be thrilled for this one, 45. He was in the September Buffalo blog for whatever that's worth. Actress hottie Gabrielle Union, 37. Actor Jude Law, also 37.

2. It's Tuesday afternoon as I type this part. I may have set a personal record. For 8 of the past 9 days, I haven't had a piece of candy. I'm not sure what has gotten into me, but something new to try. I used last Saturday as my "cheat day" as I tore up a piece of Kaiden's birthday cake and then had a few Cadbury eggs later that day as well as some Sour Patch Kids. Yum. I may try this for a bit to see how it goes.

3. I should have a decent blog in the making for next week. A lot of topics so far will include Friday night's Toughman Contest, another trip to Posey's on Saturday for UFC 94 as we get St. Pierre versus Penn, and Sunday is of course the Super Bowl. Other things will pop up as well, so stay tuned or give some suggestions, I'm always open to ramble about whatever.

Slumdogs, Monopoly, & Cell Phone Lady!

We have a few movies to review this time around. Yep, I've been a busy movie watcher, if that's what you want to call me. First up to bat.. The Wrestler. This one stars Mickey Rourke as he's given a second chance to get back into the big time after falling off the face of the earth for years. This one has also been getting some solid reviews, both from the average movie fan to the "expert" critics. Rourke won Best Actor at the recent Golden Globe Awards for whatever that's worth to anyone. You probably already know that, but just in case not, that's what I'm here for. Wrestling fan or not, that doesn't matter one bit, the story here is going to compel you to watch. Wrestling movies in the past have tended to be pretty bad overall, but this one is different. It shows the ups and downs that a star wrestler can have and how low things can go. Marisa Tomei is the lead chick in this movie as she plays a dirty stripper. Her character is similar to Rourke's in that they are both going downhill in their professions. As an added bonus, Tomei gets naked in this one, multiple times. She's listed as being 44 years old, but some places dispute her being a few years older. Either way, she still gets it done. I know, you want my ranking. I wasn't as wild about this movie as the review say, but the movie is good however. It gets 7.3 dropkicks out of 10 in my book.



I do have a second movie to get to. Can we keep the streak going? As Obama would say, yes we can. Next up will be to talk about Slumdog Millionaire. If you haven't heard any of the hype on this one, you are straight up missing out. I don't watch any of the movie award shows, but this one also loaded up at the Golden Globes. It won four awards there, the most notable being Best Motion Picture. That's some high praise there. Before I grade things, I may have to put this in my top 10 movies of all time list. If not, it's definitely a contender. I'm serious on that too, it's a must see movie. Out of 34,000+ votes on IMDB, it is currently #34 in their Top 250 and has a rank of 8.7 as I type this paragraph up on Tuesday night. I'm going higher actually. It's time to step up and give this one a 9.3. We don't venture in the 9 range much at all, so keep that in mind. It tracks an 18-year old orphan and his life story as well as following him around with his brother and the girl of his dreams. They all go their separate ways and the orphan, for years has been trying to get back together with the girl that got away. She was taken by gangs as they tried to escape. Also, he tries to win 20 million rupees on India's version of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?. The people in this movie were all unknown to the movie world, but they picked a perfect cast. Bonus points to Freida Pinto, the lead female in this movie, very quality on my end, gorgeous. But what do I know? The moral here? Go see this movie immediately, you will not be disappointed one bit, trust me.

Apparently I need to mix things up living here in the middle of nowhere in West Virginia, imagine that. Most knew that about me anyways, but I'm fairly content, just not up on the wholehttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif "big city" mentality. Cali Jas says that I'm definitely old school and I had some funny comments on the last blog from people, that's always good times. Remember the Real World breakdown last week? The chick I called a transvestite was actually not. She's actually transgendered, something I even know much less about. I don't think I've ever seen a transvestite in person before (I wouldn't know anyways), let alone someone that is transgendered. I'm always willing to learn new things though for sure. If that's what they want to do and it makes their life more comfortable, go for it I say. As far as trying to explain that, I'm the last guy that would know, oblivious to a lot of things on that level I guess, hah. So to you big city people, keep busting out that knowledge to me. One day I may understand it all. Also, as a side not for no reason other than it makes me laugh, it's TO crying in that pic. That never ever gets old. "It's really unfair. It's really unfair. That's my teammate! That's my quaaaateerrback! If you guys do that man, it's unfair!



Saturday was a pretty good time with the crew. I'll have several topics from that night. No, it's nothing over the top that is going to have me turning into a crazed alcoholic and druglord. It started out with me rolling to church with Ozzie and Maria. I like their church a lot. I've been before, but I won't ever try to preach in my blog, most people don't want to hear that, I understand. That's not my style anyways. One thing I didn't like and it really doesn't have to do much with church, but the action itself. This old lady was sitting beside us and her phone goes off like four times. It was pretty loud. Normally, if you were an idiot and didn't turn it off before you came in to begin with, you'd at least shut it off quick, right? No, this woman didn't do that. She picks the phone up, answers it and starts talking IN church on it. You serious? It would've been out of place, but I was wanting to grab that phone so bad and stomp it into little pieces and then dance around as the rest of the congregation cheered me on. Well, maybe not the dancing around part, but you get what I mean. I've stated that problem before. She's the same person who is on TV at a baseball game and is just wanting people to notice her using that phone. Get out of here. Use your phone all you want, that's fine, but there's a time and a place. Maybe that's me being old school, but I can't be the only one who wanted to bash that woman's phone in.

After church, we got the crew rounded up for some Shogun action, hibachi style. Who all went? That'd be Kari, Matty Cakes, Ozzie, Maria, Mudcat, Sweet Pea, and myself. Usually our Japanese bunch is bigger, but we were well overdue. We had the seven of us at our table as well as 3 "random bums". I was next to these other three people and it ended up working fine. Most of the time, when people sit by randoms at a hibachi, they won't bother them at all or even talk. What fun would that be? I like to get any kind of conversation going, so I was talking to these people and they were probably sick of me, but that's the experience you get at Japanese if you ask me. I order my usual of filet (medium rare, closer to rare, yum) and scallops that are huge as my main meal. By the time I get my main meal, I'm half stuffed. Not to mention I was roasting in there when I was eating and that's never good for someone like me who has a weak stomach. That's what my crew is there for, they can cleanup on my extras for free.



Since I'm an old man, what do we do to get the night started with after we put food into our bellies? That'd be another trip to Ozzie's place and all seven agreed to hit up the festivities. I've been a Monopoly fan for a long time, but not many others seem to ever be too interested. Posey, Spank, and myself are always trying to get a game going, but we rarely ever find more than three people to jump in. We switched it up this time though. Kari and Sweet Pea jammed on Guitar Hero, while the rest of us battled it out. 3½ hours in total the game was, but there was a change of pace. How so? It wasn't your average Monopoly game. This was the Electronic Banking version. I was skeptical of it at first, but it turned out to be real nice. You don't use any bills at all for money. It's all based on cards that you slide into a machine and it calculates the losses and gains you make on the spot. Matty Cakes was the host as he got a kick out of running it and towards the end of the night, Mudcat took over reigns. I always say it is one of those games that ends up as a fun time, whether you win or lose. First to be eliminated was The Mudder, followed by Cakes, then Maria finishing 3rd. After a fight till the death that ended in my defeat at 2:30 AM, Ozzie finally runs through the snowy streets hoisting the gold Monopoly trophy for a well deserved win. I am a fan of this version of Monopoly though, no complaints here.

I'm not a huge fast food guy on a regular basis. Give me good home cooked meals any day of that grease. Every now and then though, we need to hit it up. I'm also not much of a McDonald's fan, but from time to time like anyone else, you get something from there. I will give them credit on their fries. Maybe it's because they're so unhealthy, but they taste good, that they hit the spot. Another thing I'll recommend would be their chicken snack wraps. These, as far as McD's go, are on the healthier side of their foods. Also, if you get a grilled version, it's pretty good indeed. I've tried all flavors, the BBQ, honey mustard, and ranch. You really can't go wrong with either for a quick snack. It's not a monster meal, but grab a couple and put em together with a big sweet tea and it makes for a decent enough lunch. While McD's has nothing on Arby's as far as fast food goes, I figure I'd mention that just because. I'd also guess that half the people reading this right now are hungry. Even if you're not, you can get a snack wrap down at the very least. If you don't like it, blame me. Plus, they're cheap.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: We have Cali Jas and Arizona Jas in the same blog. That's when you know business is about to pick up. This week's submission works at Hooters if that helps the dirty factor and it's a "friend of a friend" is what Arizona Jas says. In her interests it says that she's selfish, impatient, and at times hard to handle. That sounds like a mess. Jas says she's legal though and has worthy pics, so we'll see what the fans think. http://www.myspace.com/jessicalovespink

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Due to our Monopoly theme earlier, I might as well go with a Monopoly video. Mr. Monopoly goes broke, his chick leaves him and he ends up going to the slums, eating out of the garbage. I thought it was creative. Not overly funny, but well done. Don't sleep on Baltic Avenue though, that and Mediterranean are my favorite properties for whatever it's worth.





3 Quick Thangs:

1. Some of the birthdays were listed wrong the last time. We'll see if we can nail them this time around. We'll go with Thursday, January 22nd. Steve Perry, the lead vocalist for Journey, he's 60. I'm not sure he's much of a celebrity to me as I wouldn't know him if he walked in my room, but most people know Journey songs at least. Steven Adler, who was in the blog recently as he's on my Celebrity Deathpool list, he's somehow made it to 44. He was the Guns N Roses drummer who is a complete mess. Say no to drugs kids, look at Adler. DJ Jazzy Jeff, he's also 44. For the Japanese wrestling fans, Manabu Nakanishi of New Japan Pro Wrestling, 42. That's not too impressive of a list, but I'm not the one who picks the birthdays. I just write about them.

2. Back to the movie front.. When I wrote about Gran Torino in the last blog, a few of the blog readers have also jumped in and watched since that. Corndog said it was excellent and not the ending he expected, while Spank and Alicia both gave it a big thumbs up as well. Give me some ideas of movies to check out and I may get around to it some day. If so, they'll get my opinion in here for sure.

3. Today's weird law fact? It's apparently illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while you're sitting on a curb in St. Louis. For real now? And people think I live in the old days.. Until next time.. thanks for wasting part of your day to read this.

Ramen Noodles, Transvestites, & Pregnant Celebrities!

I had to renew my license picture the other day at the DMV. I prepared to be waiting a while since it seems like it's always a zoo up there. It wasn't as bad as I expected, but still nothing exciting by any means. The entire wait was about 45 minutes, I could handle that and then go home. I'm waiting in line for a bit and this dude in front of me said he needed to run to his car and get money. He asked if I could save his spot and I didn't have a problem with that since I'm a good guy like that and the line didn't seem to be moving. As soon as the guy runs out, the line starts to move and it's already my turn. People are pushing their way in and I couldn't actually stop the line and say wait for this knucklehead to return. I tried, but had to get on with my business. I see him walk in a few minutes later and he's in the middle of the line now. I paid my deal and then had to go to another wait to get my picture. I was joking to that guy that it seemed like a punk move, but nothing I could do and he was cool with that.



Speaking of the DMV, have you been to your local one lately? You see some straight up characters there, it's a treat to see, or maybe not a treat. I saw a vast variety of people. The funny thing is with so many people being there, and I'm around my area bouncing around a good bit, but I've never seen any of those people in my life out in the public before. I pretty much go just about anywhere in my area and I'm going to run into someone I know, that's how it goes. Not on this day though, it's like they pulled them out of the woodwork so to speak. You had your rednecks from deep in the sticks, your mothers with 7 kids, a few guys in suits, just the whole works. An interesting combo for sure. I was joking with Arizona Jas on the chick quality there that day. I said the best chick in the building was this cracked out looking girl and that's the pool I had to look at. She asked what did I expect at a WV DMV? I guess I can't argue that one too much. :)

Movie time! Yep, it's yet another review. I've been fairly steady with these over the last few months. On Christmas, I really wanted to see Gran Torino. Unfortunately, it didn't come out in my area. That happens a lot around here, I just have to get used to it. This movie was nominated for a Golden Globe. It is already in IMDB.com's Top 250 movies of all time, currently #125 as I write this part on Sunday night. It's impressive to me, that Clint Eastwood is now 78 years old and can still be a total badass in a movie. Even if you're not a Clint fan, you should enjoy this movie as it has a great story behind it. I'm usually a wuss when it comes to a movie with a saddened ending, but I held my own for this one. You get a hard nosed military guy who has some prejudice problems and overcomes that by helping out his Hmong neighbors, going against gangs, and learning about himself. I won't spoil anything, but go check this movie. I'm going to give it a high rank. Let's go with 8.0 guns a blazin' out of 10.



"This is the true story of seven strangers picked to live in a house and have their lives taped." This year, the 21st season of Real World, coming to us from Brooklyn, starts out by featuring 8 strangers instead of the usual seven. This will probably be long, but I'll go through each character, with of course some of my opinions. We start off with 21-year old Baya, a chick from Salt Lake City. She wants to be a pro hip-hop dancer and has somewhat of a horse face. She can dance for a whitey, I'll give her that. Next up is 23-year old Chet, also from Salt Lake City, weird. He's a Mormon who is waiting till marriage. People thought he was gay, but I guess he's not. Devyn, a 20-year old St. Louis girl, and right off the bat thinks she's better than everyone else. However, she's way hot on appearance, is busting out like no other, and has won Miss Missouri Teen and some Miss America Teen pageants. I smell big drama there. JD is a 22-year old dolphin trainer, who is our gay dude of the bunch. I don't care either way actually on the gay thing, never really did, but it must equal ratings because they throw one in each year. I say let them do their own thing, but like with straight couples, I just don't want to see them all over each other in public, it's that simple. Be all over your dude or chick away from me.

The next four? Katelynn. Wow.. We've never had this before on any season. She's a 24-year old transvestite who was born male. I'll be honest, I don't even know much about that whole process, but I'm going on record to say it's beyond weird. Maybe I'm living in old days, who knows. Even though it's not my lifestyle of someone being gay, I can live with that part like JD does, and have no problems. But the he-she thing? Nah, that's just out there. Maybe this season of Real World is all about teaching idiots like me who have no clue about that process, I'm willing to listen and say that I'm out of the loop. Ryan is the 23-year old Army veteran, so big props to him on something I'd never be able to do to begin with. He's also the clown of the bunch, from small town Pennsylvania, and I can see a redneck feel to him. He likes to predict what kind of person you are within 5 minutes of meeting and seems fairly funny. Sarah is up next. She's a 22-year old punk chick from San Fran. I'm growing a bit on the tattoo thing on chicks. On some, it can work. This girl pulls it off, arm sleeves and all. She looks pretty good I think and is now in her first relationship with a dude when all of her past ones have been with chicks. Last, we get Scott in New Hampshire. This is the wannabe model who the chicks seem to be all over. He recently won a best abs on the East Coast contest. I guess he'll be doing the big pimpin' for sure and seems decent enough so far as his character goes.. Now mix these eight unique combos together and you're bound for insane drama. Tune in, Wednesday nights at 10:00 PM EST on MTV or watch online.



Thursday night the crew met up at Ozzie's house to watch the Florida versus Oklahoma, national title college football game. In attendance we had Ozzie, Maria, Cork, Mudcat, Matty Cakes, Kari, and myself. I had predicted Oklahoma to win (I know Kristen, I know) this one and that just kept putting my horrible bowl predictions this year down the tubes. I had a blast as usual with the crew, just telling stories and some great sports chatter. Mudcat and Cork had a little side bet on the game where Cork gave Mudcat 5 points. Florida ended up covering and it ruined Mud's night by having to hand over the money. That was funny to see. During the night and afterwards, we busted out the Wii. I have a Wii, but this was my first time playing Wii Fit. I didn't get to play it for a long time, but it seems like it'd be well worth the purchase. This is especially true if you have a crew battling at it against each other. At the end of the night, it was finished up with Cork showing how he's the man at Guitar Hero while the rest of us just bask in his world. I'm ok, but I've never been anything great at it. When they pull up the 4th and 5th notes, I have a rough time with the pinky finger and adjusting back to the other side. For a little dude, I have big hands (can palm basketballs and things like that which serve no purpose since I can't jump), so I've always wondered how guys with monster hands can ever be decent at this when I have enough problems.

A different topic during the game that I'll bring up for no reason. I was hungry and asked Ozzie if he had any ramen noodles laying around. Who doesn't have ramen noodles, right? Of course Ozzie had a bunch, so I went to "cook" it up as I was chef. Nobody else was hungry and I'm usually not shy, so I'll find something to get the belly going. I had it boiling and threw in the noodles. After it was done enough (I even like my noodles a bit crunchy, al dente if you will), I strained out the water. I'm not a broth fan at all, so I eliminate that. Then I throw in the pack of chicken mix and whip it up. At that point, it's ready to eat, so I take it back to the huge soft couches and continue to watch the game. I'm eating it straight out of the pot that I cooked it in. Outside of Matty Cakes who saw things my way, I guess it was out of the ordinary that I did this. My reason behind this? That's only one thing I'd have to wash when I was finished instead of two. No, that's not being lazy, it's being efficient. Besides, is there any real big difference in a bowl I could've put it in or that pot? Nope. I do this all the time with things I cook on the stove such as mac n cheese, soup, or whatever.



To prove I'm ate up with TV watching, this week started up a new season of American Idol. Sadly, I admit that I'm hooked on this. I'm sure that lowers my manliness, but so be it. Also, most of you reading this are Idol fans as well, you just have to come out and admit it. I'm undecided on the new judge they have along this season. She's fairly hot, but then on the other side, she's pretty annoying after the first week. That's a tough cookie to crack, I'm not sure how to weigh that one. If I had to pick at the moment, I'll give her a thumbs down, but it can't hurt to look at for a bit I guess. Anyways, I won't start to break down many people until later in the season, but I did enjoy the opening shows. I was glad to see a lot of bums because I've been reading they were going to try to do away with most of that. That's entertainment. I love the main rounds as much as everyone else and their brother, but give me some people who are absolutely hideous too. During Tuesday's show, we had an AIM chat that featured blog contributor Corndog and DerekHood. We're 30 and yet we're spending our nights chatting for 2 hours as we watch Idol to just bash people and ramble on. Surprisingly, that's a good time. That shows how much is going on in my area, but I'm always down for that. Out of the Lobstah crew (http://theballsempire.com), we even get it going on our message boards after the show is over. Yep, ate up, but it could be worse.

Here's one I have never understood the point of. I guess people who eat up Hollywood gossip can explain this one to me, but I'm out of the loop there. The scene is when a famous couple is pregnant. The tabloids are all about being the first to show the celeb chick being fat and whatever. Not only is that screwy enough, but then it comes time when the baby is born. These couples get tons of money just for letting someone be the first to take a pic of their kid. I'd take the money too, so I can't blame the celebs, but what's the big deal on getting that pic out there? Third, and maybe the biggest gripe, it deals with the baby's name. I don't think I've ever talked about the name of a celebrity baby, yet when you get on the homepage of certain sites, they hype it up that they named it something outrageous. Am I supposed to be impressed that they named it after some planet, an exotic food, an adjective, or even some long lost goddess of love? Well, I'm not, it's just annoying to me. I can't be the only one.



Now that we mentioned Corndog (he's all over the place), we're going to see what late night snack he came up with:

Corndog: im about to do something right now that i think you'll appreciate. its eatin time...ill brb to tell ya what i came up with
Corndog: ok im back. you ready for it?
Me: Yep and then I gotta tap out for bed early for once. Whatcha got?
Corndog: leadin off.....
Corndog: A deadman sandwich
Corndog: aka ham salad
Corndog: followed up by....
Corndog: what im gonna call the Fat Man Sandwich
Corndog: startin from the bottom it goes like this.... a piece of bread..ham..turkey...cheese..mayo...bread...roast beef...cheese...mayo (again)...bread
Corndog: and a big ol jug of fruit punch sugar free wal mart brand kool aid
Me: Dang, that even takes a while to read.
Corndog: haha
Corndog: have you heard the term Deadman sandwich before?
Me: Don't think so, but you're doing it up huge, hah.
Corndog: i learned it from a buddy. cause anytime someone dies....when the familys eatin...someone always loads up a big tray of ham salad sandwiches
Corndog: i am just lookin at your dirty thug ho from last blog.....thats hilarious

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: We're going overseas for this one. Kristen in Germany is going to provide us with this week's goody. "I know you're at work, but couldnt pass this up. Pretty decent ho right here, not a gazillion pics, but the few she has are quality with the captions you like, and she's got a million friends too...at least i thought it might be a good one. Anyway..her link is": www.myspace.com/nicolein602phx

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Corndog is back in action, doing double duty this time for us. He's going to start wanting paid for all of these contributions. He's coming to us with a Cakeroll. I wasn't sure what to expect on this one, but it had me laughing good if nothing else, so I hope it does the same for you:





3 Quick Thangs:

1. It's hard to believe we're already in the middle of January. For birthdays, let's try Friday, January 16th. We'll start off old school. Actress Faye Dunaway, 68. I know she's a big name, but I honestly had to look up what she had played in since I had no clue. Apollo Creed of Rocky fame (he's never Carl Weathers anymore) goes for 61. Rapper, Slick Rick The Ruler, he's now 44. Today's generation of rap "fans" who are fans for a minute and then hate it the next day should look up to Slick Rick. So many of today's rap lines are taken from him. He doesn't get enough credit. Zakk Wylde, Ozzie's guitarist, 42. Staying on the music scene, it's LL Cool J, 41 and still ripped out of his mind. About 25 years in the rap game and still is a name. Dave Grohl of Nirvana and Foo Fighters fame, 40. Blink-182 guy, Travis Barker, 34. It's all about music on this day I guess. One of Eminem's boys, Obie Trice, 32. Nobody under 32 today is worthy.

2. It's time to get pumped up. How so? Only because Cadbury Eggs are out! I bought my first batch last Sunday and was surprised to see them out so early. If you've been reading the blog for years, you know that's my favorite candy out there, bar none. I wish I could get a figure of how many of these I've had in my lifetime, it'd be sick. You have to go with the big ones, throw them into the fridge so you're always stocked up, and it should be illegal how good they taste. Go get some next time you're out. Or better yet, buy some for me the next time you see me.

3. Something else to get excited for? Locally, it'll be the 30th Annual North Central West Virginia Toughman Contest. I'll be going again on Friday night, the opener. That's the best time to go in my mind and you get your money's worth and then some. Go back and read last year's thoughts on the contest and you'll see some of that action. The crowd fights are just as good as the in-ring action. Last year I was two seats away from these filthy girls who got into a rumble and one got beat down bad. The drunken redneck crowd went insane, good times. I'll be sure to write about this when it goes down, January 30th... Stay tuned until next week!

Cheesesticks & Pancakes

This is officially our first post of 2009. I'll try to break in the year right with a solid blog as I have a lot of random topics to touch base on. In this edition, you'll get the action (if any) that went down during New Years Eve, the unveiling of my 2009 Celebrity Deathpool picks, late night food gourging, Pringles, new CDs, the usual words of wisdom from Corndog and The_Freak, birthday thanks, snow chat, and much much more. If that doesn't get the blood pumping, I'm not sure what will. I actually have a few topics that I'm pushing till next week's blog since I'll have too much to ramble on this time, but I do hope to keep most of you interested..



Most know that I'm not a party guy, so I didn't have any huge plans on New Years Eve. Some of my buddies planned things, but we all somewhat scattered about in our own directions. I decided to just kick it at the house for the night and chill, but that didn't stop me from having a good time of it. Spank didn't want to get into any mess either, so he came over for the extravaganza. To start New Years Eve out, that morning, I ended up going to bed at 10:00 AM. Yep, I never learn, I always say that. At 4:00 PM, I hear Dad yelling upstairs, wondering if I was still alive. I could've slept till dark I'm sure. We had a big food spread for the night and video games were the plan. Simple and easy to please, that's me. We rocked out some homemade chicken and dumplings and after that, ordered up some pizza and hoagies from Shawna's grandma, great food as usual.

You know the funny? Midnight was getting near, but neither of us really bothered to worry about watching the ball drop. I figured once the rednecks fired off their shotguns, we'd know that 2009 had arrived anyways. Plus, once you've seen a celebration on TV, you've seen them all. So instead, we played Call of Duty: World At War on the 360 for 8 hours straight till our eyes bugged out. We're putting in the time on that game, it's that good as I've said many times before. Most of my crew have become so ate up with this game and it'd blow your mind if I told you the total amount of real time days we've put into this since it came out. I won't scare you too much, I'll keep it to myself.



It's sick and demented time. As I talked about last week, it's year 5 for the Celebrity Deathpool. Regular contributor of the blog, the one and only Kasher, he's back as The Commish of this league, as he is for many of our other leagues as well. I realize it's probably not one bit the moral thing to do, but it still is competition and I'm always down for that. Plus, you'd be surprised how many of these are out there. You might even have one going in your own office. Enough of the small talk, I'll jump right to who my selections are this year. Again, the quick rules are that if you have a celebrity pass away during the year, you take their age at death and subtract it from 100. For example, if you have a guy die at 60, he'd be worth 40 points and so on. I know, you probably think it's messed up, but deep down you're somewhat intrigued by the process and will want updates. Ladies and gentlemennnn, here are my selections through deep thinking and research, we will unveil, with a short description:

Scott Hall (Razor Ramon). Wrestling fans will know him as a guy that is definitely a loose cannon. How he's still alive now, it's a total mystery. This guy is regularly seen as a mess and it's the reason he's not in big time wrestling at the moment. If he could get his head on straight, which he can't, he'd still be a talent that fans would pay to hear speak or perform.

Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. One of wrestling's legends, former wrestler and one of the best mangers ever. Heenan has had a rough past year or so as he's been in and out of comas due to reconstructive surgery of his jaw. As of now, he's able to speak a bit without getting tired, so he should be on the rise a bit with his health.

Patrick Swayze. The most popular pick of our entire group this year. I think everyone and their brother had Swayze on the list.

Raven (Scott Levy). You can't ever have too many wrestlers on the list. Overall, these guys are pieces of work. Raven has done it all and is still functioning somehow. He's actually a very smart dude, but he definitely has his personal demons.

Charlie Weis. Notre Dame football coach. My buddies and I always wonder on the legit weight of Charlie. I say 425 anyways. He looks so unhealthy. I can understand if you're overweight, but if you're as big as Charlie and don't really want to do much about it? That's rough. He's even had surgeries for it, but no luck.



Steven Adler. Former Guns N Roses drummer. If you haven't seen him recently, you're in for a treat. Not in a good way either. His speech is so bad after being through a stroke and comas due to heavy drug use. He was fired from GNR back in the day. If you get fired from that crew, then you must really be in bad shape. If you've never seen VH1's GNR Behind The Music, you're missing out. Search for it online, it's quite the story.

Amy Winehouse. Self explanatory. Most people have Amy on their lists as well. Upon sight, she literally scares me.

Bob Feller. One of baseball's greatest pitchers ever. He's 90 years old at the moment, his mind is sharp, and he's still in good enough shape. Still, you can't ever have too many crazy old people on the list, just in case.

Nancy Reagan. Hey, she's old and that's the reason I'm going this route. 87 years old.

Artie Lange. One of Howard Stern's sidekicks. He's great on that show for those who check it out on Sirius. He's had problems with heroin, coke, pills, and alcohol. I just don't get it, I know I'm in the minority, but why do that stuff ever to begin with? A ticking time bomb if you will if he doesn't straighten himself up. A funny dude though. His recent book, Too Fat To Fish, went on the New York Times best-seller list. 41 years old.



It's time for a quick break to hear some wise words from Corndog and The_Freak. You better take some notes.

Corndog: cereal is an excellent meal
Corndog: ya know the milk after ya eat fruity pebbles.....the fruity pebbles flavored milk......they should bottle that up and sell it

The_Freak (3:14:50 AM): Why does every broad with a boyfriend feel the need to remind you 67 times she's got one? Why doesn't she have him just wizz on her and make his territory properly?

Props to everyone and their brother for sending me the birthday wishes on Tuesday, much appreciated. Yep, the big 3-0. I've been telling everyone that I don't feel it at least. I still base on saying that I'll officially consider myself old when I can no longer run with the youngsters in basketball. Now I'm not saying I'm the most talented on the court by any means, but when it comes to running on the court without getting tired, I'm still rocking that. I'm also not fat and bald yet, so I hope the high metabolism keeps working, but I'm sure it'll turn the other way soon enough. Let's just hope it doesn't get to Charlie Weis levels. Also at 30, I think I'm in some of the best shape of my life as far as feeling and being as steady as ever with the working out part of things. It's nothing crazy, but I've been within the same weight range now for about 12 years if not more, it rarely changes, so I'll take it.



Then again, on the other side, I may never grow up. I'm still playing video games as much as ever. I say that there's never "too old" for video games. Back in the day, we'd be dorks as video game players. Today we still are, but it's just a lot more common I guess. I'm also watching wrestling as much as ever and still living at home. Also not married, totally single at the moment, and no kids to the collection thus far. My buddies would tell you that it'd probably be a scary thought with me having a kid. I'd be able to do it since some total idiots have ended up being decent fathers, but that's not even a thought anytime soon that shows up on the radar. I'll let my buddies take care of the marriages and babies for now. Obviously I do my own thing and never get bothered much by negative opinions of others, not falling into peer pressure. Sure, I could be a whiner like a lot of people, but what's the point? Nobody wants to hear that junk. Maybe the main thing I always talk about in here, regardless of topic, I just always try to stay positive, laid back, and be happy as often as possible. So far so good through 30 years, I don't think I'd change many things at all.

Late night food action on Friday. I was bored, sitting around the house and figured why not go out and eat? I knew that I could call Cork and he'd be in at almost anytime. We ended up, along with Kristin, to Nutter Fort at the FOP at 1:00 in the morning. It's 24 hours and outside of the usual Denny's and Eat 'N Park, it's about all we have around here in my area. Luckily, we stumbled into a pretty nice spot. The prices are great and you can order breakfast or dinner anytime you want. I recommend it for the locals, give it a try. Somehow I felt like I was crazy hungry that night. One of my late night staples is a different combo that I've written about before. That'd be pancakes and cheesesticks. Don't knock it till you have tried it. Also, I ordered an antipasto salad (you're not going all out until you have a quality Italian antipasto, a regular salad won't compare) and they put it in this huge bowl that would've been a meal in and of itself. Inside they threw in hard boiled eggs cut up, doh. One that might be hard to believe is that I've never had a hard boiled egg in my life up till that point. I'm serious. Cork and Kristin didn't know what to think when I told them that, so they said they wanted to see me try it then and there for the first time. A few days before my 30th, I tried a bite of a hard boiled egg. I wish I hadn't, brutal to me and I don't mind omelettes and things of that nature, but not a egg of that style. For as big of a Chinese food fan as I am now, I didn't try it till I was around 22. I didn't try sushi till I was 29. Just some food for thought. Of course I didn't finish all of that food either.



One last rant before we jump to the new CDs and the usual ending goodies. It's about snow. For those who know me, I'm a huge fan of snow and the winter time in general. As I type this section up now, we're getting a bit of snow. No big deal right? You'd think not. Somehow, people in my area act like we're in Florida or something. They think it's the end of the world when snow starts to fall and they think go into a panic. You kidding me people? We get snow in our area. No, not the snow that Uncle Wilbur, a friend of the blog and #basketball legend, has recently been getting out in Washington. Still, we get a bit. I'm talking to Spank now and we're getting worked up bashing these bums who think it's a must to go to the store before it snows. He's saying when was the last time you were actually stuck inside your house and ran out of food? It doesn't happen. Ever. Besides, it's not like we're 2 hours away from a store. I'm a terrible driver, but at least I'm adept at not driving around scared to death at the fall of a snowflake. Those people need to get off the road in a hurry and stay bundled up in their blankets as they shake in fear of the next blizzard coming through. With that said, bring on some snow. Also, bring along the new CDs to my collection..

Common: Universal Mind Control. Common, I hate to do it to ya man, but I'm giving you the big thumbs down of shame. You're a talented guy and I like a lot of your older things, but this one wasn't on that level. I was very disappointed. It's a quick listen as it's only 10 tracks, but still I wouldn't bother. There's only a few that I think are decent. That'd be Gladiator, Punch Drunk Love with Kanye, and Announcement featuring Pharrell.

Coolio: Steal Hear. This is the only one of the new bunch I've yet to listen to. I saw it and figured it'd be a good laugh if nothing else. Coolio had his moment, but time has passed him by and he hasn't been relevant for a while. That's what surprised me when I saw him still putting out music. Maybe he'll prove us wrong and have something decent here. I'm sure if you liked the old Coolio, this one will be fine enough, but no review on my end as of yet.



EPMD: We Mean Business. If you're an old school rap fan, chances are you are into EPMD material. That'd be Erick Sermon and Parrish Smith, Making Dollars. Their last album together was all the way back in 1999. I put this in and it took me way back. This is one of the better setups I've heard in a while, it's rap how it should be. Along for the ride on some tracks are KRS-One, Keith Murray, Redman, Method Man, Raekwon The Chef, and Havoc of Mobb Deep. This comes with high recommendations.

John Legend: Evolver - Deluxe Edition. Seriously, go pick this up as soon as possible. I know, it's not the usual rap that I'm accustomed to. This is some pimpin R&B and Legend is about as smooth as all gets. It's scary how good this guy is. If he keeps up on this pace for a few more CDs, he really is going to be a stud on the baby making music map. I can't pick out just one for you to jam to, but give him a try if you're in the dark and haven't before, you'll be impressed.

Ludacris: Theater Of The Mind. I'm not sure Luda puts out too much that would be bad. His last few CDs haven't been up to his standards if you ask me though. This one, I think he's back with it. Sure, he has a few club songs that are weak, but overall, he has enough harder stuff to make it worthy of owning. My favorites on this CD? Call Up The Homies with The Game (very good), Nasty Girl, MVP, and I Do It For Hip Hop featuring Nas and Jay-Z. As far as coming up with creative lines, Luda is one of the best in that aspect.

Royce Da 5'9": The Album. We go to the first of two Detroit rappers that are added to the collection. He used to be Eminem's boy, then they had a little beef, and now they're buddies again? Rap "beef" always cracks me up because half the time it's just something to gain publicity. Either way, Royce brings a banger here he's a talented dude. Go check out the songs Give Up Your Guns with Talib Kweli, We Deep with Trick Trick, and Angel just to name a few. Kristen, see, I'm not the only one anymore who still calls it an "album", hah.

Trick Trick: The Villain. We go to our second Detroit rapper. Easily the most vicious lyrics out of these guys featured today. If you're a gangsta rap fan, you'll enjoy this one highly. It has a dose of the old style feel to it. This CD is also loaded up with guest appearances. Big time people such as two of my favorite ever in Dr. Dre and Ice Cube, Eminem, Royce Da 5'9", Kid Rock, and Proof. He keeps the grimey level going strong on this one. The whole CD is good, so go get a listen.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: We go to another vote of confidence from Arizona Jas. This one brings some good unintentional comedy to the table. Not a zillion pics, but you have to check out the taglines on her own pics. I can't figure out if she's really that dumb overall or if her ego is about 20 times that of a normal person. http://www.myspace.com/101658217

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Due to the recent birthday, this is the reason of this video. I'm not 40 yet, but a few of my buddies have been joking with me to go around screaming that "I'm a man! I'm 30!". If you've never seen this all time great coaching press conference from last year, you're in for a treat. Even if you have, like me, you've seen it countless times and it never gets old. I present to you, Mike Gundy, head football coach of Oklahoma State:





3 Quick Thangs:

1. Speaking of birthdays.. let's ring in the weekend a bit early. Friday, January 9th. MVP of the very first Super Bowls, Green Bay Packer Bart Starr, he turns 75. Sportscaster Dick Enberg, 74. Jimmy Page, co-founder of Led Zeppelin, 65. Golfer Tom Kite, 60. Sharon Osbourne, 57. Ok, I'll say it. At 57, she doesn't look bad at all. Bobby Flay the cook, 45. Basketball midget man, Muggsy Bogues, 44. Dave Matthews, 42. Nick Lachey, 36. Kim Mathers, Eminem's off an off again chick, 34. That's a decent list there if you ask me.

2. Pringles. We all love them, but does nobody else hate the can like I do? The first fourth of the can is ok, you can get them out easily. Then when you get deep into the can, you have to start tipping the rest of them out. That's fine, but then all the crumbs go everywhere and you have a mess on yourself and the floor. I'm a neat freak usually, so this somewhat bugs me. I guess you could pour them into a bowl or something, but that's too much hassle when you can just use the can. But.. how about a little bag or even a box style instead of the tube?

3. A few topics I'm pushing into next week's version to get people in anticipation? That'd be my experience at the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV). You see some straight up characters at the DMV and I'll certainly get into that. Also we'll talk about the new season of Real World, originating from Brooklyn. I've been a Real World freak since the beginning, so I'll be sure to give a good review. That's just a few things, I'll have more in the holster for sure. Hope you made it through the read, now you can relax and breathe again. Have a great 2009 everybody!