Sunday, August 16, 2009

Don't Feed Da Animals

Saturday was fairly eventful. Nothing too out of the ordinary happened over the week until that day. I set the alarm for 6:06 exactly. On a Saturday morning?! Yes, I know how shocked you are, but it's just a true fact that sets everything up. 606 happened to be a lucky number for Clark, Fleece, and myself when we were kids for some odd reason, so that will tie in to the day itself. On that day, I was off to Parkersburg, an hour and a half away as I left the house at 6:30. Even the neighbors weren't up by that time and here I am on the road, ready to rock. Call it another road trip if you will, if nothing else.

Clark called the other night and asked for my assistance to help him and Carey move to the mean streets of Williamstown, just a few minutes away from their old place. Luckily, I was a nice enough guy that I didn't have anything else to do, so I drive the 90 minutes to go help a crew of us move stuff into a big U-Haul, call me crazy. I must be insane, but I actually didn't mind too bad. I got there at 8:00 with the best directions ever as it was pinpoint accuracy. I was telling Clark when he gave the directions that I'm easily confused, so they may not be as easy as he expected. If I can get there with no problems, anyone can. I'm getting to be a journeyman on these road trips, even if this one wasn't too far away, I'm still counting it as one.

We had most of the Riley fam there helping out (Big Bobby who is a machine and a work-a-holic, Ann, Chad, and Abby), plus the added entertainment of having Fleece in the mix which you can never go wrong with. Along with that bunch, we had Kovalck, Jared Bryant and a few of his boys as they live close to that area anyways. Before I make it that far down south, I'd first like to tell a Burger King story. I was craving food and usually when I wake up in the mornings, I get some breakfast in me at the house and chill around. That day, I basically got out of bed, cleaned up, and out the door I went. I grabbed a cup of coffee at the local Go Mart. I'm not even a coffee dude to begin with, but when I wake up early, I like to get one cup in me to have me ready to bounce off the walls. I had some kind of Columbian mix (all coffee is the same to me) loaded up with sugar and a packet of creamer. Also bought for the morning was Airheads and M&M's, quite the combo.

I still haven't even got to the Burger King part yet. Ok, sometimes I get sidetracked, but with that, you get some extra stories involved, so it works out for the better every now and then. I was starving, so I go up to the drive-thru and place the order. I told them I wanted 2 of the ham, egg, and cheese breakfast shots along with some hash browns and a sweet tea. As I'm ordering, the chick is asking if I wanted 2 or 4 shots and I told her again that I wanted two. Four shots come on the screen, so I didn't argue. Then she asks if I wanted cherry or Coke. I'm thinking, what? I didn't have a clue what she was asking, so I just said cherry, it sounded good for that time. I pull to the window to pay and the girl hands me a cherry Icee. I guess that's not a bad mistake, it sounds close enough to tea. Then another lady asks if I wanted 4 breakfast shots or 2. The drive-in girl told her it was four and started to get mad at one of the other ladies. I could see where this was going, cat fight! I wanted to watch, but I just said four anyways and the other lady looked at me weird, but in the end, it saved the headset chick (Xbox 360 style) from getting into trouble. Four came up on the screen and that's what I paid for, so why not. On the ride, I open up the food and start to tear in. Weird thing is that on these shots, two are hooked together. I'm not sure if that's normal or if they were in a hurry, but one side would have most of the ham and the other would be plain. Come on now, separate those things and put an even amount on each, I'm not asking a lot there. It filled the appetite, but I didn't eat one and left half of my hash browns. In the end, as usual with greasy fast food, it's ok for the first few bites and then you feel like a fat boy afterwards knowing that stuff is going inside you, corrupting the arteries, but we all do it from time to time.

Finally, I make my way into the city of Parkersburg. We had a ton of stuff to do, but had a lot of help in doing so. At least I didn't have to get in a workout that day, this was replacing it and then some. Later that night, I ended up getting a 2½ hour nap, probably not the best idea, but that's how it goes. Between the first truckload and on our way to Williamstown, Fleece and I decided to make a trusty pitstop for 10 minutes or so. We were near Parkersburg High and knew there was a scrimmage going on in the morning. Here's how big this school is and what football means to the area. They had a school 2 hours north (Morgantown High) come down for not a game, but a scrimmage! As Allen Iverson famously says, "I mean listen, we’re sitting here talking about practice, not a game, not a game, not a game, but we’re talking about practice!" My thoughts exactly. We go check it out and there's actually a decent amount of fans there. This is big time stuff. I'm sure most of you reading are in areas like this where you have huge high schools that are like small campuses, but this doesn't happen often in the big WV. This is probably the best field I've ever seen as far as that level goes with the turf, great track around it, and big open old school seating. They also have season tickets for the regular season games that the fans eat up in no time, it's a different world down there, but it was fun to see in person. Now if only the Cougs could get the excitement going. I am excited though for Cougs season to begin. Last year I even went to most of the away games, must not be anything else to do in my area.

After we loaded up the first truckload to the new house in Williamstown, I had to tap out a bit early to get home for a fantasy football draft. I'd guess 85% of the other house was already loaded up and delivered, so with the rest of the gang still at it, it worked out great. For those wondering about locations, I was a few blocks from the Ohio River at this point. Now? It was time for the journey back north, another solo road trip. Not to stray off the path, but another road trip is already scheduled for Wednesday, September 2nd to Youngstown, Ohio? What for? Some quality mixed martial arts action, this one for a big time show, World Extreme Cagefighting's Cerrone versus Henderson for the Interim Lightweight Title. For those out of the loop, WEC is a sister promotion to UFC whom they are financially ran by and they get their shows aired on the Versus TV network. These shows are almost always incredible as it's basically a show with smaller weight class fighters, thus giving nonstop action. I'm getting amped up writing about it, so I'll stop for now and save that for the blog it will appear in. Along for that trip is none other than Posey as we ponied up for floor seats for this bad boy. On the way home, it was time for a Dairy Queen stop, who has the best burgers you can get. It's worth waiting a few minutes for them to cook it up. This time I got a double cheeseburger and Snickers Blizzard. 90 degrees out and I'm driving around eating a burger and Blizzard. My driving skills aren't the greatest anyways as you all know, but I did well multitasking here. The Blizzard was gone before it melted, so I was a beast to that thing, it didn't want any. I crushed that thing just like Brian Bowles did at the last WEC show against uberstud Miguel Angel Torres. If you didn't get to see that fight, search the internet for it, Bowles flipped a switch and messed Torres up something awful with that knockout, it's worth finding. Ok, sorry, I said I wouldn't talk anymore about MMA stuff for a bit, but there's a cheap plug for ya.

I did forget to mention that on the way home, I almost ran out of gas. I'm really picky when it comes to gas. Usually I fill it up with about a fourth of a tank left and rarely let it drip down to it's final breath. On road trips though, I will let the gas light come on just for the fun of it. I was in the middle of nowhere when this happened and was getting close. My screen said 7 miles from empty and that was after the light had come on a while back. There was no gas in sight for a while and I was beginning to wonder if this would be the first time ever I'd run out of gas. Wooo, looky there, I spotted a gas station. It didn't go without excitement though. As I was paying, pardon my description for some of my state's finest, but I saw some good white trash in action. This car load of people had a few chicks that weren't wearing many clothes and had homemade tattoos. I don't mind tats, but when they're filthy, ugh. Not much clothes is usually good times too, but not with this bunch, it was rough. On top of that, they had other people in the car screaming and yelling at each other with major drama and I was just laughing to myself as I pumped gas. These are the type of people that need put in these reality shows, but you rarely see it.

Fantasy football time! I used my place as Draft Central as we called it. This was for the A#FL league ran by Uncle Wilbur, a dude that I give a lot of respect to, who is also a real good guy. To set things up, this is an 18-man keeper league with guys from all over. Where from you ask? I'll give a roll call, not that anyone cares, but I get into that. We go to Montreal for Kasher, an old school #basketball legend, a Toronto trio of Neon, TMac, and the one and only Don-G. Then we go to Maine for Blahah the Great, Philly for Duce, Las Vegas for TheAnswer and MrsAnswer, and Maryland for The_Freak. If that's not enough, how about Washington State for Commish Wilbur, Arkansas for the legendary DerekHood, and Houston for Bono. Then we end up things with the WV bunch of Corndog, Cork, Posey, Trev Daddy Dollars, Walz, and myself. One third of the league from West Virginia and one sixth from our northerly friends in Canada, not bad.

More on the rosters in a bit, but we had the ultimate war room setup at my place. Yes, I realize we're major dorks for doing this, but it's a passion we all have, you can't go wrong with fantasy sports. Plus, I always say, I'll put our #basketball leagues up against anyone as far as pure competition and people who keep up with their teams are concerned. You don't get none of this junk you see in other leagues where people give up after a few weeks like little girls and quit setting rosters and not even using the message board. That gets me like no other. Either way, our war room was rockin'. We had four laptops online as well as a desktop if needed, plus some HD baseball on TV as we drafted. That's right, you can't beat that with a stick. This is a Yahoo league, so it was an online draft. With Trev at work, he still manned up and did his draft over the phone, so we had accounted for 4 of the 18 members in our war room as far as the picks go with Cork and Posey coming over with their computers. Now onto how my draft skills went, whether good or bad, you can decide. Here is yourrrrrr 2009 Cincinnati Celts!

1. Tom Brady - New England (QB) *KEEPER*
2. Matt Forte - Chicago (RB) *KEEPER*
3. Greg Jennings - Green Bay (WR) *KEEPER*
4. Beanie Wells - Arizona (RB)
5. Lee Evans - Buffalo (WR)
6. Greg Olsen - Chicago (TE)
7. Mark Bradley - Kansas City (WR)
8. Trent Edwards - Buffalo (QB)
9. Huggy Bear Fargas - Oakland (RB)
10. Nate Washington - Tennessee (WR)
11. Jason Elam - Atlanta (K)
12. Bo Scaife - Tennessee (TE)
13. San Francisco (D)
14. Greg Camarillo - Miami (WR)
15. Derek Anderson - Cleveland (QB)

I won't break down my players as a lot reading don't care, but I'm still pumped up. Football falls way behind of basketball and baseball in my mind, but that doesn't mean I'm not hardcore into it. I'll post my college fantasy football team next week as it's ran by Duce from Philly, it's a great league to be in. Then on September 7th, we have the Shinnston Fantasy Football League ran by Commish P where 10 will be in attendance for the live draft. What other leagues am I in? I won't list every single one such as the pick ems and that nature of leagues, but I try to concentrate on two leagues per sport. I know some people get their kicks by joining 12 different leagues, but what's the point? They don't keep up with them all, I like to focus. Fantasy basketball is where it's at for me as I've been running the EDDFL money league since I was 10, with 12 members involved. Aside from that, it's the epic A#BA, the league of leagues as far as I'm concerned with the #basketball crew. This is the 20-man deep keeper league ran by TyLaw. Baseball? I go with the #basketball style of A#BL where I'm currently 5th out of 18 teams, it's also a keeper league, ran by Kasher. Then we go to Chin Music, a 30-man league that is insanely detailed, not for the weak at heart. The baseball knowledge this entire group has is great to be part of, you don't get bums just pitching in money as I seem to do in P's league each year, I can't get any luck in fantasy football, but the others I seem to do well in. You have a 55-man roster spanning from the majors all the way down to low minors. You budget your cap and this is also a keeper league. This is a great way to keep in touch with the upcoming minor league baseball guys that you can get a feel of on a radar before everyone else. For the locals, I have Levi Maxwell signed to a 3-year contract on my team, paying him $550,000 per season. Yes, we're ate up that bad. Then there's fantasy golf, so so underrated. Ok, I'm done on the fantasy rant for the week, I could go for days on that. Hit me up if you'd ever wanna talk fantasy ball, I'm always down for some chatter on that.

Now it's time for Corndog's wise words of wisdom. This story comes from his encounter with flies and a mouse.

Corndog: this is one of those i thought i probably shouldnt tell, but its too funny not to.
Corndog: lemme set it up....
Corndog: i had some little flys in the kitchen and i couldnt remember what you were supposed to put out in a little bowl to attract them
Corndog: i think i later found out its some kind of apple vinegar, but i was thinking it was honey
Corndog: well...the closest thing i could find was pancake syrup
Corndog: so i put some out, and it actually did work. i collected some of the little boogers in the bowl so i just kept it setting out to finish its work
Corndog: well, the other night i heard something in the house, and realized i have a mouse
Corndog: i still havent got a trap, because i keep forgetting
Corndog: well..i went in the kitchen yesterday to fix a pop and happen to glance at the fly syrup bowl
Corndog: and right in the middle of the bowl sat that little mouse
Corndog: still alive and stuck
Corndog: just looking at me
Corndog: i felt really bad about it
corndogtaylor: and i didnt know if i should just throw the bowl outside or stomp on it or what
Corndog: but i was feeling pretty bad for the little guy
Corndog: what does a nice guy like the corndog do?
Corndog: took him outside, sprayed him off with the water hose and let him go
Corndog: funny thing is....
Corndog: he ran off before he could get all the way clean
Corndog: so somewhere on the mean streets of whitman there is a mouse w/ syrup and dirt stuck all over him
Corndog: or there is a snake somewhere that got a fancy dinner
Corndog: ah man, it was sad and funny at the same time

It's time for another CD update for those in the know.

Busta Rhymes: Back On My B.S. Oh Busta, where have you gone? I know you're not washed up, but this CD has me very disappointed. The good is that this one features one of my favorite songs of the year so far in Respect My Conglomerate with Jadakiss and Lil Wayne. That's some pure Busta with that fire. A great beat and flow to that. Another to get would be Decision with John Legend, Common, Mary J, and Jamie Foxx. Too many people on this CD. Unfortunately, that's about all the good I can say. As it has one of my favorite songs, it also has one of the worst songs of the year in my opinion, Arab Money with Ron Browz. This one is just beyond brutal. Rap fans will know this song for sure, but it's one that has you wanting to bash in your speakers when it comes on. Busta, come stronger next time, not this commercial garbage.

Gorilla Zoe: Don't Feed Da Animals. Since Busta couldn't save the day, we go to the ATL to see what's up. I did like this one, however as with Busta, what's up with these guys using the T-Pain autotune? Ugh. I thought Jay-Z chopped that off and left it for dead? We need another track bashing these guys Jay, get on it. Lost is the track most will know from this CD, but I'll throw out a few others worth finding. Those would be Untamed Gorilla, Man I, and So Sick. A pretty good one here, it won't leave you hating things like Busta's does.

Method Man & Redman: Blackout 2. Now we're talking. If you like either of these guys, you're going to fall in love with this. These guys together, they make each other better. It has a solid 90s feel to it and you know what you're getting from these guys. You get great chemistry as well as some nice storytelling, something that lacks in today's rap game. I want to recommend this entire CD, but if you're just wanting a few tracks, that's what I'm here for to load up your iPod with. Go find A-Yo with Saukrates, Mrs. International with the great Erick Sermon, and Four Minutes To Lock Down that has Ghostface Killah and Raekwon involved. Raekwon is so underrated. Put him on a song with you and it's money.

Bird's Dirty of the Week: Arizona Jas is back with a submission for us to check out. There's a little back story with this one. This chick is on her man's top buddies list. So basically, a good friend of a boyfriend. We go to Carbondale, Illinois for this one. She apparently has a kid, yet if you scroll down under her details, she says she wants kids someday? Hasn't that someday already happened? Call me crazy on that observation.

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: I'm going to double up this week. You get your bang for you buck this time around as you not only get one to check out, but why not two. The first is Gangster Fight 1. There's a lot of these out and they're cheesy, but that's what makes me crack up for some reason. If you watch enough of them, OGLoc35 is my favorite character of the bunch. Then again, you could not even see the comedy in this and absolutely hate it, that's fine too.. And our second vid? Since I'm in MMA mode this week, last night we had the Gina Carano/Cris Cyborg fight for the 145 pound Strikeforce Women's Title. Even if you're not a MMA fan, you at least know of Carano. She's pretty good, but gets by mainly more on a rep of being hot as compared to a fighter in my mind. The question I always have, is she hot because she's a celebrity figher or would she just be a regular average girl without that backing? I think she looks good though, but what a fight. Cris Cyborg is no joke either, a straight animal with the jiu jitsu, putting Carano out for the first time in her career. Good match though, a lot of intensity. The end scene, Cyborg turned it up a notch. I'll post it and hope that YouTube doesn't delete it from whoever uploaded the thing.

Gangster Fight 1:

Carano vs Cyborg:

3 Quick Thangs:

1. So now it comes out that Billy Mays was a cokehead? Who knew? Maybe that's why he was always so amped up. I'll be nice and refrain from going off on the dude since he's dead, but disappointing here. I heard about this from Nate Dogg's Facebook post he put up earlier last week, so credit goes to him.,2933,538220,00.html

2. On the infamous Lobstah message board, my boys brought up the weird Lady Gaga stuff in a thread. This has TheAnswer, DerekHood, and Kasher all weighing in. Here they are, uncensored.

TheAnswer: why is this not a bigger story?

DerekHood: Because, even if it's true, it's about as shocking as Clay Aiken loving the cock.

Kasher: She has both a penis and a vagina. That doesn't necessarily make her a man.

TheAnswer: sure as hell doesnt make her a woman... you go tap that azz then

3. Today's fact to leave you with? Every day, 20 banks are robbed. The average take? $2,500.

1 comment:

RatedDAL said...

Havent commented in a while, good work here. enjoyable read!