Action packed. That's what this blog is going to be all about. I have some pressure thrown at me from all sides with requests, so we'll see if we can deliver. We do what we can around here though to please the readers. That's what makes it fun when I get some opinions brewing around, letting me know what is happening or ideas to put in the blog. What are you getting in this batch of goodness? Hanging out with Mr. Belding (yes, that one), Corndog and I take control of Charleston, fired up rednecks at McDonald's, a big softball update from Dyno Nobel, Cornhole, moonshine, and much more planned to be featured. It's time to take a deep breath and get ready to read up because we have a detailed blog for you all to consume..
About a month ago, we had a big crew lined up to attend a minor league baseball game in Charleston, WV to see the West Virginia Power do battle. They're an affiliate of the Pirates, who technically are an affliate of the Yankees and Red Sox. Why so? Pirates keep guys a few years, they start to become decent and then they sell them to the Yanks and Sox for a penny on the dollar. Yanks are my boys, so that doesn't bother me too much, but the Bucs are local and they need to put money into the team to compete instead of being stingy. As Friday rolls around, the "crew" was chopped down to just two of us. The original plan was the get some of the #basketball chat room guys (from Undernet's mIRC) together for a little reunion, or "union" since it's a first meeting with Corndog. Corndog is a regular in the blog, but it's time to set the record straight on some questions I might get. I started going to #basketball in 1995 and most of the old school original crew is still around from that time period. We've basically had the same chat crew and fantasy sports league members for well over a decade and then some. I take being ate up on the internet to a completely different level, but I probably wouldn't have it any other way. These other guys are the same, but I guess it's tough to explain if you weren't in the mix, we're a tight bunch that ranges worldwide.
Enough of that, I'll tell those stories another time. I don't want to lose you this early in the blog. Corndog is about 3 hours south of my mean streets and like I said, some of us were going to make the trek down to Charleston. This was an hour away from Corndog, 2 for myself. I've been to a zillion pro baseball games, but never to a minor league game for some reason. Until Friday that is. As an added bonus, since minor league teams are awesome at having promotions, that night they had Mr. Belding of Bayside High fame (Saved by the Bell) as the night's guest. The legendary Jesco White was honored with a Jesco Bobblefoot Night a few nights earlier for anyone keeping track at home. We figured, with baseball being the prime reason and just a little get-together, mIRC style, Belding's cheesiness could only add to the excitement. Seriously, how many times are you going to get a chance to hang with Belding? More on him in a bit of course.
I gassed up the car and it was exactly the same amount that I put in it the week before, crazy. That's a sign that a good road trip was just beginning. Solo road trip on this one as far as the driving goes, with my passenger being the ever trusty Sirius satellite radio. I've preached on it before, but if you're ever considering a purchase of Sirius for your car, you won't ever regret it. It's that good and then some. I get there about a half hour earlier than expected, so I had some time to chill. Corndog arrives before time too. Anyone who is on time (meaning be there before the time) is good in my book. My buddies know how bad that bugs me when people are late, just totally unacceptable. Thanks for the grape by the way Corndog, you can't go wrong with that.
We get there and had two options of seats. General admission or box seats and there was only a $2 difference in price. How can ya beat sitting right behind home plate for only $8? You get your money's worth at these games, I figured that out within minutes. Also, they have The Toastman in attendance. He's fairly annoying, but he's behind the plate and brings an actual toaster with him in the stands and plugs it in. When the opposing team strikes out, he has toast popping out, launches toast all over to the fans and then everyone chants to the batter, "You are toast!" It's cheesy, but he's the #1 fan there and even in their Hall of Fame of sorts. On top of that, he knows everything about every player that comes in, has signs for just about anything, and it's pretty impressive. The kids eat this up. People there either love or hate him though, there's no in between. His main rule, don't eat the toast.
We couldn't have picked better seats than we did. Luckily, we were behind a group of rowdy fans who had us in tears laughing the entire night. They got some fans so mad that it made them actually leave their seats. They would cuss every 2.3 seconds, tell the umps how it is and even would cuss out other fans. They were all juiced up out of their minds. Usually I'm not a fan of being around drunks as most know, but when you don't have to babysit them and they're actually funny at times, I'm in for short periods. The stuff these people were saying were shocking most in our seating area. I should post some of the quotes they were saying, but I'll keep it non-X rated for the time being. I liked that if they had something to say to someone, they wouldn't hold it back. You knew what you were getting from these dudes and they even had some good trash talking going back and forth with their own group.
Another paragraph on the fans as it gets fun. Back to the drunks in a bit, but we had Cry Tit Cubby sit by us for a few. This dude was a trip, but not in an exciting way. He's a diehard Chicago Cubs fan and that's all he wanted to talk about. He'd go in detail of mentioning their minor league players, how he has so much passion, and can't wait to get to Wrigley Field. Also, he looked like he was about to cry the entire night, so thus the nickname. He went into a spiel about Ron Santo and how much he basically worships him that he almost professed his love for him to us on the spot. Luckily he moved from his original seat which was right beside me onto the other side a few seats down next to Corndog. I didn't have to hear his crying any longer. Another fan was this creepy older dude who apparently came alone, as did Cubby. This guy would try to talk to everyone and he had this really raspy voice and you'd hear him rasping about "Dallas Cowboys!" nonstop. It sounded like a monster telling us about the Cowboys. Later in the game, he comes behind this MILF and her two young sons and sits down. You can tell she's really uncomfortable at him doing this, but seems too nice to tell him to beat the trail. I'm guessing the chick was around 40 or so and the dude was early to mid 50s. She's taking pics of the field and Dallas Cowboys Guy is over her shoulder looking at the pics, talking about them. Due to that, the drunks figured they'd pick on him since they thought what we did in how weird he was being. They all just started waving at him and he didn't know how to take that. Then they got some peanuts and would keep launching them at him and cussing him like a dog. These guys were about 35-40 years old if that sets up a picture for you. With his raspy voice, he reminded us of My New Haircut Guy, so we just kept doing the "Jagerbomb!" quotes to egg things on. "Where's the protein mom?!" That became a running joke all night as we would randomly throw in ramblings talking like Cowboys Guy.
A lot are wanting to know the Mr. Belding situation. Hey, I made you wait a bit for that, I had to build it up somehow. As soon as we got there, they have a pretty nice restaurant/bar setup that most people eat at before the game. We were watching TV and eating, and out of nowhere here comes Belding walking around by himself. He's just like a normal dude. He looks basically the same, but packed on some pounds. ManDingo says that age has not been kind to Belding. The deal was that he was going to do a meet and greet during the game, also throwing out the first pich. He'd sign autographs and take pics. At first the line wasn't big, but during the game it got way long, it'd surprise you. We didn't want to miss any game action, so our dibs for getting a pic with him were running out. In the line though in one of the pics I posted, you see Cubby and the Laguna Beach fake dirty girls who couldn't tell you one thing about baseball other than to see how many guys left on the team they haven't went home with. It's August, so they probably have their checklist complete. And I've said it before, high heels don't do much for me. It's kind of funny to see some girls walk so awkwardly in these things that they look like they are crippled. I just don't get it, but then again, I'm not like most guys. Red lipstick, high heels, short hair, thumbs down. Some girls can pull it off, but that's just my own personal opinion. Anyways, back to Belding..
Word had it that Belding was going to do karaoke after the game. I'm not much of a karaoke dude, but I'm not above making a fool of myself. Corndog and I planned to hit up a duet with Belding as that would've been our ultimate pic. Come to find out, Belding only did one song and was about to leave after the fireworks spectacular was over. By the way, the fireworks here rocked big time if you're into that thing. As Belding was leaving, we made our move to go talk to the guy. We were the last people in the place to talk to him and he couldn't have been a nicer dude. It really seemed like he wanted to be there that night and enjoyed himself. He had his "handler" take the pic for us and even if it was a little shaky, it still turned out fine. Then Corndog asked him to be put in a headlock for a pic. Belding loved the idea, was all about Corn's suggestion, but changed it up to where he was grabbing Corn's ear and playing the principal role to a tee. Even as he's packed on the pounds and age has caught up to him, the chicks at this game were all about him. He could've walked out with just about any of them, no joke. I know you think I'm making that up, but I'm definitely not. Also, Belding has a karaoke DVD coming out in September. He's so bad at singing that it's good.
Corndog is like me in that we are all about the randomness. Anyone can take normal pictures, that's fun and all, but you have to spice it up a bit. I'm never shy to walk up to some random bum and ask them to get in a pic with me or find a weird background or prop to get in front of. I'm still hating myself for not getting a pic with the drunks or Cowboys Guy. Corndog buttered up the Zul's Lemonade Lady and she was pumped to be in a pic with him. Corn had me run behind a bar and act like I was working the taps, just stupid things like that. It's probably pointless to most, but it's something to try out, why not. But to end the baseball story, if you're near the area, you must make a trip down to Appalachian Power Park. It's a total blast. As the drunks were leaving, we told them they made the game for us and they were all excited that someone got a kick out of them when most were fired up and had no sense of humor. They came up from Huntington, so if you're there, hit up Aaron's rental shop and pay these guys a visit. I promise they'll be filled with stories to tell. Good dudes, so I give props to them.
One last story of the road trip before I move onto other topics. I had a little drive ahead of me and it was getting late, so we just rolled out after the game. There weren't a lot of late night options still open in Charleston that we wanted, plus we didn't know the city well enough to drive around and get lost at anyways. I'm not much of a McDonald's guy, but on my drive back, it was about the only place left open. I stopped at this McD's in the middle of nowhere, I even forget the exit, but nothing was there. Have you ever waited 20 minutes at a McD's? Well I can now say that I have been a part of that. This place was unlike anything I've seen. It wasn't like they were short staffed or crazy busy. The manager was busting his butt and doing a nice job, but wasn't getting any help, imagine that. He was doing the register as well as making food, dude was nuts. This redneck couple ahead of me were starting to get all worked up that their order wasn't done. They started cussing, so of course to only entertain myself late at night, I egg it on just to see what these people will say next. Then as I was waiting forever on my food, some of their buddies come in. I tell them I had been waiting around for about 15 minutes so far. I was fairly patient, but I acted like it was bothering me to these guys to get them mad at the workers. What do they do? Of course they started ranting and raving to the McD's people too. I just kind of sat in the background and ate up the drama I was watching. If I was going to wait, I might as well have some fun with it. They only had cherry pies in stock that night and one redneck wanted apple and told the manager how it was. I got my fat boy grease food after eating pretty healthy the past few weeks, so I figure it won't hurt me too bad. All in all, a big thumbs up for Trip Corndog as I will title it.
Last Saturday it was time for a big family cookout, always a good time when that gets set up. The occasion was for Cousin Ashton's 4th birthday party. I heard roughly 40 people were invited and there was every bit of that I'd say. The good thing about it, I only had to walk a block away to go to it, so that's extra handy. The food spread was outstanding. Gayle dominated the grill, not to mention his homemade chili and spicy mac n cheese. Then if that wasn't enough, we had the cousins and aunts do the rest of the food, which included Angie's birthday cake which she decorated like a champ. Of course I had a few pieces of that, not to mention a few cupcakes to go with it, bouncing me off the walls.
My cousins had some buddies in from the ATL that stayed there over the weekend. They had been hearing about some West Virginia moonshine, so why not make that a piece of the party. Outside of the presents and whatever else we brought, my parents were asked to bring the shine with them. Someone then said, "You might be a redneck if you're asking your aunt and uncle to bring moonshine to a 4-year old's birthday party." Apparently this stuff was a hit with the out of towners. A bonus that the ATL couple even paid for all of our lunch the day before at Colasessano's. I loaded up on a pepperoni roll with hot peppers and an antipasta to go with it. We didn't want them to pay, but they snuck behind all of us and paid before we even knew about it. I have to give props where it's due though, really good people, so the thanks goes out. Wilbur, I should have them send you some Huskies gear, I know how much you'd appreciate wearing that.
Later in the night, it was all about the games. Thanks to Matty Cakes, we busted out the cornhole boards and some ladder golf. I'll go on record to say that I'm one of the worst ladder golf players ever if you know of that game. I haven't played it all that much, so maybe that's part of it, but still, I'm terrible. Cornhole though, now that's where it is at. Most of the guys were playing and we had some quality battles. Some wild scores on this night too. One game, my Uncle Jeff and myself got a huge win, 21-2, a score like that doesn't happen often. Of course we gotta do some trash talking after that, but it came back to bite us in the very next game as I fell apart. If 21-2 didn't impress you, how about losing the next game to Matty Cakes and Ozzie to the tune of 21-1! Ouch! That's never fun getting rocked that bad, but it happens and I admit defeat when necessary. After about 6½ hours at the bash, I finally made the trek back home, but a good time to be had for all. I'm always in for stuff like that if it's organized. So when's the next family bash? I'm in.
It's now time for a softball update from your Dyno Nobel athletes. We had a whopping three games this past week and after the melee, we're getting closer to playoff time. We have two games this coming week and then the seedings will be official to see what happens in the playoffs. We should be in that mix, but over half of our league won't make the playoffs. As I type this, we're now 9-8, which isn't as good as we'd want obviously, but we'll make due with what we have. Due to some guys being on vacation and not available this week, we had to pick up some replacements which turned out pretty well. It'll be nice to have our gold glove left fielder Posey back this coming week though. Replacements we had were Pill who seems to be locked in to our roster now at third base, same with Nuzum, and one game we had Stire and Big Wes. Big Wes has the best arm I've ever seen in my life. He had a ball he got from the centerfield fence and threw it to to home plate on a straight line with no effort. We're all still talking about that throw today, it was that good. Even Vito who is our catcher was stone faced as the ball came in.
Wednesday night was the loss night. Even with Wes on our side, we couldn't do much against the #1 team in the league, they were just ridiculous. These guys were your typical "Softball Guy" as Jim Rome says. These are the guys who have no sense of humor, are always acting all tough and bad and can't take a joke. Plus, a lot of them were juiced on some good roids, so that's a good mix for softball wins I guess. We ended up getting beat 26-4 I believe, just an embarrassment, but we still had fun. It was late in the game, it was already out of hand when the pitcher made a step off the mound. In slow pitch softball, that doesn't matter at all, but Spank was at bat and figured he'd at least have fun with these meatheads. He jokingly called a balk on the pitcher and the pitcher was all whiny over that and was saying, "There's no balks in slow pitch softball!" He took it literally and we just stood looking at him like he was an idiot at how mad it actually got him. At least that made our game. Monday and Thursday, we rocked those out. Thursday was as good as we've played in a while. Not sure why it took us years to do it, but we finally took some team photos too. Most of you have already seen those, but I'm all about getting pics, especially random things. Dev, I was going to crown you Wednesday's MVP, but your bro wouldn't have that, he wanted it to be a team MVP that night, so I was overruled, hah. But you're right, we're some pimps in those team photos. In fact, in the two wins, it seems like we all played awesome. Trev is Roy Halladay out there, pitching complete games on the mound like it's his job.
Ok, one more softball note and I'll be done. Once I start, I can't quit I guess. On Thursday, we watched the game before us. It was an open league game and this is where they have the juiced up $500 bats and balls that are a notch better than our league uses. We can only use single walled bats in our league. You wouldn't think the bat makes a big deal, but it does. These guys are all "Softball Guy" though and needed some humor in their life. We saw four homers that game and this is a field we play on that is really big too, just some mammoth shots. We played some scrimmages with the big times bats and they're fun. I'm not a power hitter at all, but it still can change up your game.
Bird's Dirty of the Week: We hit up Ft. Lauderdale, Florida for this week's winner. In her own words, "My name is Jami, sometimes spelled B-I-T-C-H. I try to be nice most of the time but some people make it utterly impossible. I am a "professional telemarketer"...LOL. I've been working in call centers for 7 years now where I've done pretty much everything including executive status.. I have the best boyfriend EVER! He can make me genuinely smile which is a major improvement from the last ten years of my social-sex life. So there you have it folks, me in a nutshell! Anything else...JUST ASK!" There ya have it folks, just ask her I guess. Again, I can't make this stuff up, I just post on it. And how many best boyfriends EVER are there? Everyone says that, think of something more creative. Doesn't look too bad, but some of the picture taglines are entertaining. http://www.myspace.com/thejamisongotu
Bird's Video Moment of the Week: This sent to us by Corndog since he was featured in the main section of this week's blog. Here is a 5-year old rapper doing his thing to some classic 2Pac. I think it's really good, but what do I know.
3 Quick Thangs:
1. Today's fact you might not know? The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world. I guess that's true? I'll take their word on it.
2. MMA fans, go way out of your way to find the video of the Spider Silva/Forrest Griffin fight if you haven't already seen. Forrest gets absolutely embarrassed like no other. After the fight, he ran like a little girl back to the locker room. I like Forrest, but dude, man up after the fight and take it like a big guy. Don't run away with your panties in a bunch. I did hear a reason he ran was that he got his jaw broken and lost hearing in one ear, but either way.
3. You know what is terrible that someone thought was a great invention? Automatic sinks. Those things work for like 2 seconds and they turn off. Then you gotta crank yours hands under them for a while to get them on again and you barely get water. The same for automatic soap dispensers. Also, thumbs down to bathrooms that have the hand dryers. Paper towels work so much better. I like fancy things, but not in the bathroom, keep that old school. Or at least have things that work.