"Get Your Ass To The Gun!"

I'll be the first to say that my last effort wasn't one to be remembered. Sure, it had the basics, but nothing jumped out in your face to grab the attention. That's going to change in this one as I have a lot of things to talk about. With 2007 winding down, I could do a Best Of type post and give a recap, maybe hitting up some of the stories of the year, best dirties we found, videos, etc, but nah. I'm going to ramble on like I usually do. In this last post of 2007, we're going to hit up topics such of Christmas of course, the Christmas Eve happenings the night before, several movie reviews, a lot of new CDs, Japanese trip with the crew, and MUCH more. We're not about to let the end of the year stop us, we have a big one in the works, a royal flush if you will.



I'll get started with Christmas Eve. At our house, it's always the setting for the family to get our eats on and just have an overall good time. We packed the house in and that always is a cause for some rowdiness. In attendance for those taking notes? Me, Dad, Mom, Spank, Cork, Aunt Linda, Uncle Jeff, Aunt Susie, Uncle Bill, Cousin Ozzie, Maria, Cousin Kari, Matty Cakes, Cousin Angie, Will, Cousin Jill, Gayle, Big Ashton, Ashley, Uncle Butch, Jimmy, Rick, Linda, another Rick, Steph, and I think that may be it. Can I take a breath now? That's pretty good off of memory, so hopefully I got everyone in there. The tone is set, so how did the night go?

There is too much food to mention, so I won't go there in depth. As usual though, it was top notch, can't ever go wrong with homemade Italian action. My favorite things if I had to pick? Sausage and peppers, ziti and meatballs, or two creations of my Aunt Linda's, fettuccini and some amazing cheesecake. TV of the night was switched between watching the brutal Broncos/Chargers NFL game and of course A Christmas Story featuring none other than Ralphie. Then the drinks started flowing, so you're all wondering, who won "The Award", a recurring theme with either a road trip or hanging out with the family. Props always go to Gayle for creating that name. Readers of the blog know of past happening with this fun event.



Basically, the deal is whoever ends up as making the biggest scene gets "The Award". This year, we had a tight battle going on between former winner Kari and Angie. They were going neck and neck. If either are reading, I'm not going to embarrass anyone, don't worry, hah. Angie wanted to set the dance scene on the proper note. She had this bright idea for me to put Rappers Delight in to jam to for some old school feel. As they were bouncing around and everyone was taking pics and whatnot, I thought either the Christmas tree or the shelves in that room were going to come tumbling over, but they managed to stay up. Dad was like, "Just let em fall! It can't hurt that room!"

After a while, I could tell it was gonna be a rough night for the girls. Then I see Big Ashton running around and I knew Angie and Will were hanging outside. I didn't think anything of it. Ashton, who is about 2½ or so, busts out this classic, "Angie pruked!" That's kid speak for puke, he's a funny one to be around. Normally kids that age are screaming and whining 24/7 and I can't handle that stuff, but Ashton is like a "little human" (inside family joke there). That usually is cause for "The Award" to to be given, so I guess I'll give Ashton the assist on this one. Angie takes the title and is the current champ. We need to start making trophies or something, well done for sure.



So we move onto Christmas Day itself. I don't care how old I am, it still never gets old to get pumped up for the big day. This year, there wasn't one big thing I was after, but loaded up on some good items. For the first time in a while, I didn't get a crazy amount of Celtics stuff. I think by this time I have so much that it's tough to shop for that. The theme this year was Notre Dame gear. I gotta support em, even after the roughest season they've ever been through. They also have a longer winning streak than each of the current teams playing for the National Title, so that's always good times. Video game wise, I went for Contra 4 on DS. One awesome game. If you're into Contra of old, you'd dig this for sure. It's way hard, believe it or not, but it's a near perfect game. Other than that, I could name a lot of clothes, books, movie DVDs, gift certificates and that type of thing, but I won't. A random good get was a funnel cake kit. My crew that hangs with me knows I'm a huge fan of funnel cakes. A's, a restaurant in Shinnston (the best pizza and hoagies anywhere on the planet) would have regular orders of funnel cakes in just for me. How's that for some service? Can't beat it with a stick.

The traditional Christmas Night movie. The crew for this bonanza would be Cork, Cork's chick Kristen, Spank, and myself. We went to a 9:45 showing and for some reason, it wasn't packed at all. Maybe because no big time movies were out, but I couldn't figure this one. Last year it was jammed packed for Rocky, but only about 15 in the theater we hit up. Me and Spank were really wanting to see The Great Debaters starring Denzel, but since my area is a bunch of whitey redneck racists, we don't get that movie, imagine that. That fires me up, but I can't win that argument around here, so no point of getting worked up. If Denzel is in it, it has to be a good movie in my opinion. Name a bad one he's been in. What we decided to roll with was Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story. This isn't a movie to take the family to by any means, but it's downright hilarious. If you like crude comedy that'll have ya laughing the entire time, hit this bad boy up. My score for this one? 7.6 out of 10.



A DVD pickup to mention now that I'm on the topic of movies. My favorite type of movies have to be the over the top comedies with not much seriousness to it. This one falls into line and I'm not sure why I didn't go see this in theaters. SuperBad. For those who are behind in their movie watching, it's one of the funnier movies I've seen in a while. Like with Walk Hard, this isn't a family movie. It's rude and crude, but that's what makes a funny movie like this anyways, right? The plotline has you following along as well and keeping with it. You have these two high school seniors who are ready to move away to college the following year. Their goal, and the movie takes place late in the school year, is to each hook up with some chick on the way out. A lot comes in their way of this adventure that is worth seeing. If you're not a fan of the McLovin character by the time you see this, I'll be surprised.

Let's fast forward to Saturday night. Yep, we're due for another Japanese trip. The setting as usual, Shogun. Me and Kari (great grammar again) were talking on Christmas Eve how we needed to round up the troops to get another eating festival going. I'm always in for the crew going out to eat, we need to do it more often. Kari brought about a quote that we've been using all week to get them to hit up Japanese, "Get your ass to The Gun!" It can't be said any simpler than that, straight and to the point. There was a whopping 12 of us on this trip, 4 couples and 4 singles. Who was involved? The Fortneys, Kari and Matty Cakes, Ozzie and Maria, Swiger and his wifey, Spank, Sponge, Sweet Pea, and myself. This was probably the most I've ate up there in a while. Usually Fortney and Spank can't wait to eat there with me since I end up giving a lot of my food away, but not this trip. I turned into a fat boy and tore that stuff up. I ordered my usual, filet (medium rare of course) and scallops as the main meal and then you get the traditional soup, ginger salad, and some noodles. I stand by that you can't get a better piece of steak than here. If you order a filet at a rich boy restaurant, you're paying an arm and a leg. The prices here are real good for what you get in my opinion.



It's time to branch off the Japanese trip and give an interesting tale. First off, a quick plug, if you're out on the road and need a sports score, what do you do? Well, you can call a buddy, listen to sports radio until you hear the score, or get online with your phone, something I know absolutely nothing about. The locals know this as it's a big hit, but call 1-800-555-TELL. It's a voice activated free phone system that you can get up to date scores on any game going on. Try it out, it's handy. There's other things in there besides sports too, but I haven't tried those things. A quick reminder, sometimes it won't pick up your voice or noises around you can affect what they think you're saying. The best is when Ozzie is trying to call and has to repeat himself a few times. You can see the anger build up with each repeat and then if you're lucky, he'll flip out on that phone number and give some good entertainment. Trust me, if you haven't seen it before, you're missing out.

But oh no, Saturday night's fun isn't quite over yet. After filling myself up with food, me and Spank came home to flip between the Pats/Giants game as well as whatever college bowl game was on. For me, I'm footballed out at this time of the year and have been for a while. It's all you see on SportsCenter and good luck to you finding info on other sports at this time of the season. I realize that most sports fans worship the ground of anything football related, but not me. Sure, I'm a big fan, but it's not nearly the level that basketball or baseball are for me. That takes us to 10:00 and the setting would be the Posey Household, high atop Tank Hill in scenic Shinnston, West Virginia.



For this, it was pay per view night and it was UFC 79: Nemesis. In attendance for this action? Posey, his wife Scherri, Spank, Cork, AJ, Ashley, the Posey kids, and their Taco Bell dog that didn't bark as much as normal and myself. I've become a huge MMA (mixed martial arts) fan and was pumped for this card. I won't bore you too much since most of the MMA fans of my crew I've already talked to, but I'll mention a few tidbits. Two matches were marketed hard for this show. We had Chuck "The Iceman" Liddell going up against Wanderlei "The Axe Murderer" Silva. First off, I was talking with our crew, we need wacky nicknames like that. I don't care what you look like, if you have a nickname of The Axe Murderer, you've arrived. I figured Silva would crush Liddell, but I was proven wrong. Liddell's reach and devastating punch power proved to be enough to win in decision. I still have no clue how Silva stood up through all of that, dude's head is a rock. Then in the main event we had Georges St. Pierre showing Matt Hughes how it's done. GSP may be the baddest 170-pounder out there today. He can do it all. He takes top of the line wrestlers down to the ground and owns them like nothing, he has great stamina, good standing, etc. He had Hughes screaming for the ref to stop the match, total domination.

What's going down with the latest Real World episode? Cohutta hasn't been to the doctor in 10 years, but has to get his ankle checked up on. 10 years, seriously? He thought he broke it, but turns out it was a bad sprain. He doesn't get to go do the Sydney tour with his team, but shows up anyways on crutches to help. KellyAnne doesn't remember any facts on the tour and the tourists call her out on it. She then gets sent home one night for drinking on the job and making a fool of herself. Dunbar and KellyAnne argue in front of their tourist group the next day. Isaac's group dominates the tour battle and they win the trip to Europe.

I haven't given a CD update in a long time. I guess now is as good as any since I got some new ones over the past few days. As it almost normally is, we delve into the rap and R&B realm.



Beanie Sigel: The Solution. Most of these CDs this time around turned out to be quality. Beanie brings the grimey type rap and just tells it like it is. If you're into songs featuring other people, he loads us up with names such as R. Kelly, Puff, Scarface, Jay-Z, Ghostface, Styles P, and Ozzy Osbourne out of nowhere. I put R. Kelly in the Nate Dogg class, if they're on your CD, it's legit.

Birdman: 5 * Stunna. We go 22 tracks strong in this one. You know you're going to get tons of Lil Wayne, Weezy is featured on 7 of these. You also get Fat Joe, Rick Ross, and Young Jeezy just to name a few. As I type this, out of the new batch, this is one of two I haven't listened to yet, so no review will be made. I'm probably a bigger Birdman/Lil Wayne fan than most, but I'm sure it'll deliver, he won't put out junk.

Bow Wow & Omarion: Face Off. The theme on this CD is that both of these guys feel they aren't getting their respect due from the media. They work good together, flows nice. You get Bow Wow trying to do the mean/laid back combo thing with his raps and Omarion bringing the pimpin. Something about Like Mike acting all mean cracks me up, but I think the kid is talented and it weirdly works.

Chingy: Hate It Or Love It. Where's he been hiding at? Chingy is catchy and has charisma to him. I have all of his stuff regardless, but he's too much of a club/mainstream type rapper for my tastes. I still like him, but I won't crown him as king or anything. This, like Birdman's, I've yet to sample all the way though, but I soon will, don't worry. Check My Swag is interesting because he tries to go with the Slick Rick/Snoop Dogg style of rapping.

Jaheim: The Makings Of A Man. We're going for some true R&B right here. A very underrated guy, Jaheim can pimp with the best of them. This thing in one word? Smooth. If you're someone in a cave and listen to R&B and have yet to go with Jaheim, you're missing out.

Scarface: MADE. Words from a legend right here. A rapper that has stayed true to his roots for 20 years now. You want some pure ghetto roughness? Scarface is your man. Great rhymes, they have a meaning, and you know what you're going to get. Excellent CD here. Recommendations? Big Dog Status, Boy Meets Girl, and Git Out My Face.

Styles P: Super Gangster - Extraordinary Gentleman. Yet another solid CD. We're hitting a trend here because this has been a good batch. As with Scarface, you know what you're getting here. Styles doesn't switch it up. He brings that mean gangsta rap style if you're into that. Some songs to check out on this would be Blow Your Mind with Swizz Beatz, Alone In The Street, and U Ain't Ready 4 Me with Beanie Sigel.

Wu Tang Clan: The 8 Diagrams. The Wu is back! If you're a Wu fan, you need to pick this one up. These guys are pushing 40, some of them over that, but they still bring it as only they can. Thumbs up here, it has you wanting more. Some to download? Take It Back, Unpredictable, and Weak Spot.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: http://www.myspace.com/melaniehernandez

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Charlie bit me! http://youtube.com/watch?v=_OBlgSz8sSM

3 Quick Thangs:

1. Let's start the year off right by celebrating the birthdays of Tuesday, January 1st. Rapper Grandmaster Flash will be our oldest that is worthy to make the blog, he's now 49. Model Carol Alt, she's strutting around at 47. Another model, who once made her name on the internet, Cindy Margolis, 42. RIP to Derrick Thomas, former NFL baller of the Chiefs, he would've been 40. Actor Morris Chestnut of Boyz N The Hood fame, 38. American Idol loser Bo Bice, 32. Mine is on next Sunday for my 29th, buy me presents. :)

2. It's time for another free plug into the blog. This one is hyping up some local hot mustard. Mustard is the #1 condiment, I won't argue that one. Anyways, hit up this site and order some of the "Hot Honey Mustard" in the 10 ounce jar. I wouldn't steer ya in the wrong direction, some of the best mustard you'll ever taste. Will, this is the mustard you wanted me to give you the website to, so I'm knocking out two things at once here: http://www.thistledewfarm.com

3. 2008 New Years Resolutions? I don't have any off the top of my head. But I'm glad we're through another year here at the blog, we've been rocking it out. Thanks for reading and telling me whether it's any good or if it's brutal. Either way, it keeps you interested. Here's to having a great 2008!

Santa Bird Strikes Again!

"It's Christmas time in Hollis Queens, Mom's cookin' chicken and collard greens. Rice and stuffing, macaroni and cheese, and Santa put gifts under Christmas trees." Yep, I had to revert to some classic Run DMC there for those who know that one. I realize I'm due for a post, no excuses, but since it's the Christmas season, we'll whip up some goodies for the readers.



Remember how I said the lack of sleep over the past few weeks would get me? Well, it finally did. Last week I was getting the sore throat and sinus headaches. Friday I get home from work and headed straight to the doctor. I go in and the doctor is doing all of his checks. He says my sinuses are mangled and all of that. Then he asks if I've ever done steroids before. I look at him all weird and am like, "Hmm... no?" Then he started laughing a bit and said he should've just asked me if I've taken the dose pack medicine deals that he calls roids. I was thinking for a bit, I didn't figure he'd think this little 155lb guy was a roider. Anyways, I was able to catch up on my sleep. Here's a good one, on Friday night, I went to bed at 10:30 PM (whoa) and wake up the next day at 1:00 PM. 14½ hours! That's killing it there, I needed it. Then the next night, I went to bed at 8:30, go figure. I never learn.

Saturday comes around and I go to bed that night (day) at 9:00 in the morning. Yeah, back to my weird sleep schedule now that I'm on break for 2 weeks. I wake up at 2 and then on 2 hours of sleep, I go play ball at School Square with Walz and his crew from 8:00-10:00. Then that night, I go to bed at 4:00 (early, I know) and wake up at noon. Off to more ball. That would be from 1:30-3:30 in the rich streets of Bridgeport with Ozzie and his crew. We're getting ball in and usually with enough time to let me know, I'm game for that. After playing on Sunday afternoon, it's time to come home and rest for a bit. That's when it was time for more ball. This round was at The Lighthouse with Sweet Pea setting it up and we played from 8:00-10:00. So that's playing ball 3 times in a 2-day span in 3 different gyms. That's not too bad at all for a guy turning 29 in a few weeks and still has the speed of old to play the run and gun style, I'll take it. Knock on wood, no major injuries over the years from playing ball. Hopefully this means my bum town will get back in action for ball on a regular basis.



It's time for the personal hello time. My boy TheAnswer, who goes way back with the #basketball crew and his chick are in Vegas living it up big. They're now readers to the blog and I gotta send the big hey to Jamie out there in the city of action. They're also in the Christmas card tradition, glad that a lot of you guys already got those.

People ask me what main things I want this year for presents and the like. Eh, nothing big time actually. I can't think of anything that I definitely must have. I guess I'm content with how things are going at the moment. I have a good bit on the list, but it's all video games, DVDs, clothes, and things similar to that line. I'm pumped though, it doesn't get old waking up on Christmas morning and doing the present giving and receiving. I probably have just as much fun passing out gifts to my crew, parents, and whoever else than I do getting them. Between the card tradition that sends worldwide to loading up on gifts for people in my area, it's a fun time to be had for all. Santa Bird is hard at work once again, I can't let the faithful down.

How'd the most recent Real World go? To start, the girls are all pissed at Dunbar for his crazy temper. Dunbar then gets mad at Cohutta and KellyAnne for laying in bed all day and not helping on their job. The deal is whatever team does the best with their job wins a trip to Europe. Ashli says she's finished with Dunbar, but they'll be in bed again together next week probably, go figure. Next week we get the battle of teams to see who can put the best tour of Sydney up and win the trip. Not a great episode this time, but last week's was tough to top in the drama category.



What's on tap for the next week while I'm off school? Christmas Eve, when you're reading this, it's the big bash at my house. That's when we get the family and friends over to hang, get rowdy, eat a bunch, or whatever action goes down. No family members will be embarrassed in the blog no matter what goes down tonight, so don't worry about that if you're reading and are a family member, hah. I try to keep that safe and use the happiness to roll around on. Christmas Day is just chill time. Do the presents, play with new things (like I'm a kid or something still, but I act like it), and watch the NBA tripleheader. That night, I hope it's a trip to the movies with my boys Cork and Spank. There's not much on the table this year for movies opening that day in my opinion, although I want to see The Great Debaters since it's a Denzel movie. You can't go wrong with Denzel movies, he straight up brings it I think and he's one of my favorites. I doubt this one can top what I saw in American Gangster a few months ago, but you never know.

Other than that, the week is wide open. I hope it'll be filled with days of working out, playing ball, video games, and hanging on here. Oh? That's my normal schedule anyways, so scrap that. New Years Plans? I'm sure I'll find something, but nothing at the moment is written into stone. I'm not a party guy, so the bar scene and all of that can be for someone else. That mess doesn't excite me one bit, but I won't preach on that anyways, everyone knows how I am. Not your normal blog that is filled up with tons of stories, but one more laid back and to get us in the mood for big action on Tuesday! Here's to everyone having an awesome Christmas! Be sure to let me know how yours goes.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: http://www.myspace.com/Nettiezarydah

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: This was found on the Boston Sports Guy's site. Whitey suburban kids that made a vid while dunking on a kiddie rim. You'd be lying if you haven't done this before in hopes that one day you'd be able to dunk, but can't even touch rim on a regular hoop: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRxt_lVV-Zk

3 Quick Thangs:

1. Since we're doing the Christmas theme, let's do some of those birthdays. Former NFL QB, Kenny "The Snake" Stabler, he starts us off with being 62. Jimmy Buffett, who I never could understand why he's such an icon, he's now 61. Someone seriously explain that guy to me, I'm missing the boat totally on him. NFL RB Larry Czonka and former American Gladiators host, also 61. Singer Barbara Mandrell, 59. Annie Lennox of Eurythmics fame that looks like a dude, she's doing it for her 53rd. Ricky Henderson, baseball's career leader in stolen bases, and the self proclaimed greatest of all time, 49. Fantasia, American Idol chick, Happy 35th! That'll do it, not a bad list there. Not many superstars there, but still better than most weeks.

2. Our first weird stat? Astronauts aren't allowed to eat beans before going into orbit. Why so? Gas can tear a space suit up.

3. A little fact. It's illegal to hunt camels in Arizona. True story. As usual, I can't make these things up.

"Pelvis Has Left The Building, Baby!"

Another week is in the books and we can smell the Christmas trees in the air. Mine has been up for a few days. Of course, the first ornament that went up was the Larry Bird figurine. That's been a tradition at our house for a good while. He is the Basketball Jesus after all, what other ornament is going to go first? The man did turn 51 on December 7th, so that's worth celebrating for. What do we have on tap for this issue? We're pulling from deep and mixing it up with the usual suspects.



You know what's weird to me? That is the weather in my area. Last week, my town had 8 inches of snow. Nothing out of the ordinary for West Virginia. Then, just on Tuesday, it sprung up to 68 degrees. This isn't September. This is mid-December, the wacky times have begun. Today? Floods all over the place. Now for the upcoming weekend? We have more snow that is supposed to pile up. I can't keep up with things. No wonder I'm getting the sore throat and killer sinus headaches. Half of that is more than likely from no sleep. I think in the past week alone, I've slept over 5½ hours a night only once. Most of those nights were nearing 4, but I never learn.

Kid Nation and we have two weeks to mention. The first, was from December 5th. On this one, Sophia does a good job being town sheriff and the kiddies like how she ran things. The council goes to search and finds a chief in a teepee that gives them advice, nothing too eventful so far. The groups end up winning the weekly award and Sophia has to pick between a town monument that will be there forever or a hot air balloon ride. She goes with the ride for whatever that's worth. Seinfeld flips out because he gets no respect. He cries like a baby at the voting ceremony and then goes back in demanding respect. First, you lost the respect when you went in bawling your eyes out. Man up kid, get with it. Ironically, the other kids didn't think much of his crying and he went stomping out of the voting house. 9-year old Snaggletooth Alex gets the gold star for this episode. Just because Jared is Jared and he's not quite right, he gets the line of the week. Jared and Snaggletooth are walking around the area and they find some cow bones. They're identifying the bones (I guess geniuses do that for fun?) and Jared takes off up the hill saying, "Pelvis has left the building, baby!" If you don't watch the show, that's probably pointless, but if you know how much of a mess Jared is, you'd crack up.



On the finale, it opens up with scenes from the season. The job board goes up into flames and Mike freaks out. The board burns up and also the host burns the journal telling them the town's directions. No more job classes or money. They start raiding the candy shop and say there are no rules. People are stealing and the town goes mad. After the town is destroyed, they clean it up the next day. The last gold star has to be given away early and on the spot. The council gives it to Seinfeld for being a leader from day one. I guess his crying last week like a girl ended up working for him? Doh. Chicken McFatty Pants gets fired up at the yellow team for them not letting her stay one night in their bunk. She flips out and because they want to spend the night with their original crew. The host busts out three stars worth $50,000 each. The have one last challenge and that is to work together in an hour to prepare for a "bonanza" party. They win the reward and their parents come to hang with them to eat. The first $50,000 star goes to Sophia, second to Morgan, and third to Migle. And that's the end of the season, thumbs up from me. Second season?

Real World chatter. We also have two weeks worth of action here as well. For the first, we having Isaac coming back out of nowhere. Earlier in the season, he flipped out when a black cat crossed his path and then started freaking like he was on acid. I say that because he admits he's an acid head, what a piece of work. He's pumped that Trish is out of the house. Everyone but KellyAnne is saying that people didn't like Trish. Isaac dives naked into the fishtank wearing a snorkel and flippers. Dunbar and Ashli finally end up screwing around, like we couldn't see that coming. I think they pick a lot of people in a relationship (Dunbar) and then just watch them combust and hook up with some random dirty. It happens every season and too much in life if you ask me. I'm no expert on relationships, but we need stats for the percentage of people that have cheated before. I bet it's much higher than you're expecting. Would 50% be a bad estimate? And in the end, after I got on that tangent, KellyAnne and Parisa are being buddies again, weird.



The latest has KellyAnne and Cohutta doing their thing. Cohutta's condom busts and they're paranoid that she's pregnant. Ashli tells her mom about sleeping with Dunbar, that's different. Cohutta's grandpa gives him the advice of "Remember what makes a man. It's not how much liquor he can drink. It's not how much ass he can whip. It's how he handles himself in crisis." It made it better that it was in this big hick accent. KellyAnne finds out she got lucky and isn't pregnant now. Towards the end of the show, Dunbar and Ashli are cussing each other and it's all out drama. As Isaac said earlier in the season, if ya sleep with someone in the house, it's going to end all crazy. Does every single person on this show smoke? Ugh. Next week, more drama with Dunbar and Ashli.

What's new in the world of working out and supplements I'm taking? I get on a kick every now and then load up on something new. The Lobstah guys heard this story a few weeks ago, but time to weigh in on something different. The latest stuff I'm taking is called naNO Vapor from MuscleTech. It's a pre-workout mix that gets you jacked up in layman's sense. It's similar to No-Xplode I was on earlier this year. The warnings on this jug are crazy, but I haven't fell over dead yet. A few funny, or not-so-funny things maybe, is that you can't leave the jug open for over 30 seconds and you can't bump it around or it's some kind of hazard. No joke. Who knows. Anyways, after being on it for a few weeks, it's pretty good. It gives you more of a heat sensation and you get a crazy amount of energy to workout on. I put it a notch below No-Xplode, but it still gets a thumbs up from me. Go out and pick it up.



I'm not much of a jewerly dude, but one thing I never could explain was chick rings. What do I mean? I'm sure most people can, but you could show me a few expensive rings and a few not so expensive and I wouldn't be able to tell a whole lot. And then you get to talking about how many carats a ring has and all of that. What's the diffence in ring that costs $200 compared to one that is $4000? Yeah, $3800, but that's not what I mean. Is there really that much of a quality difference. Chicks, help me out here. Then again, I don't have to waste my money on that type of stuff right now anyways, just something that popped into my head.

It may be time for a new car. I have one payment left on my car and will be finished up on that. Now, do I want to just chill for a few months with no car payment or do I want to jump right into something? I'll have to play that out and see what goes down. I've been an old lady Buick fan since they're smooth riders and I can get them decked out inside. I've only had 2 cars over the years, my first when I was 19, the 1979 Buick Electra. Some called that beast The Pimpmobile. 10 miles per gallon, a backseat as big as some living rooms, and a trunk to fit all kinds of dead bodies if need be. That beast was solid and then I finally drove it until the bottom fell out of it, literally. The car I've had since January 2004 is a 2003 Buick Regal. Nothing elegant, but I dig it and it's 3 times better on gas than my old deal. I'll probably change my mind 20 different times, but right now I'm deciding on an all black Jeep Patriot or a black Buick Lucerne, probably a 2007 model on those as I can't see me getting a brand new one. You drive the brand new one off the lot and $10,000 is taken off the top it seems like for what it's worth, so what's the point? Plus I can get good resale on my car now since I'm a neat freak. I also wouldn't want an insane monthly payment, I don't get how some people pay these ridiculous amounts that end up screwing them.

Guilty pleasure time. No, not what you're thinking. I'm moving along to music. 98% of the stuff I listen to is rap and R&B, but I try to branch out a little and give other things a try. This will come off sexist, but I usually can't stand chick singers or a chick being the lead singer. Yeah, there are definitely talented chick singers, I'm not saying that, but it's just not my cup of tea as to what I jam out to. Anyways, a new one I can handle to listen to, not sure about an entire CD, but that would be a group called Paramore. They've been around for a few years. Check out their song Misery Business. Also, something about the chick Hayley looking fairly dirty and coming with the freaky reddish hair, not bad. We'll weigh in if they have any other decent songs or if this is just a one time guilty pleasure.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: http://www.myspace.com/jrsygrl

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: This is a great find from my boy Corndog. I've never seen this before, maybe you all have, but it's hilarious I think. Kid is funny indeed. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahYgLP3RNug



3 Quick Thangs:

1. You want some birthdays for Friday, December 14th? Ok, I'll serve you up with something. Baseballer Billy Buckner, famous for the 1986 World Series error, but outside of that was an excellent player, he's 58. Future baseball Hall of Famer Craig Biggio, 42 and is one of the most underrated players in a while. We also have Anthony Mason, basketball tough guy from the 90s, known for shaving things in his head, 41. Walz is proud about that one. I'm not able to find much else today that is worthwhile other than sports names. That's all I have. Where do I get my birthdays from? I usually go here: http://brainyhistory.com/birthdays.html

2. An interesting stat told the other day while playing ball with Cousin Ozzie: Notre Dame football has a longer winning streak than each of the National Title game teams. No wonder things are screwed up. Go figure.

3. Anyone seen the latest pics of Mary-Kate Olsen? Brutal. Chick is 65 pounds, looks all coked up, and I'm not sure how to explain it. She's worse than she was a few months ago and I didn't think that could be possible. Maybe I'll put her in the 2008 Lobstah Deathpool that I take part in. Those picks are due in a few weeks actually. Yeah, I know it's totally wrong, but you can't lie and say you're not interested in competing in one of those. More on who I pick when I get those into Commish Kasher.

Pitt Fans Rejoice

The first post of December. I'm here to bring about the usual Christmas cheer. I'm a big fan of Christmas and getting into the spirit, but I don't go overboard in doing it months ahead of time. Maybe I'm weird, but what's up with having a tree in the house before Thanksgiving or around that? I think I'll rock mine out later this week. We haven't busted out an artificial tree before, so we'll go as we always do, real tree style. It's a lot more work, but something about the smell and look of the real deal Holyfield is, as I like to say around here, quality.



Also, big ups to the crew who got back with me on the Christmas card list. If you're already in my address pile, more than likely you'll still be on this year unless you totally fell off the face of the Earth. Just like the blog, the Christmas card tradition with me goes worldwide. How so? We're sending to places such as Germany, way north in Canada where they have to plug in their cars to get em warm (what's up Carolina?), the West Coast of the US, and many other areas. You need to get in on the card sending trend. And no, it doesn't count if you just sign your name on the card and say Merry Christmas. Fill up that card, tell a quick story, something. It's all about the substance. Anyone can sign their name down. That's just how I look at things personally on that issue. I ramble on enough in my blogs, I do the same with the cards.

Everyone knows my sleep pattern is mangled, but over the weekend, even more so than usual. I try to make up for lost sleep by the time the weekend comes. That didn't happen this time around. I'll set the tone. I go to bed at 2:30 AM on Thursday night/Friday morning. I wake up at 6:00 AM for work. I get home from work that day around 3:00 PM and take a nap till 5:45 PM. I get up from the nap and I'm up all night...and all day Saturday. No clue why either, but I was just online most of that time, imagine that. Around 3:00 PM, I go to workout after no sleep. Somehow it turned out to be a decent workout. At 7:30 that night, right before the game where the mighty WVU fans thought was going to be a total joke against Pitt (more on this later), I sleep until 10:30 PM. So after being up for 26 hours, I crash for 3 hours and begin to rock it out more. I do things with my crew and that type of deal, but it's rough how much of that time I was online. Here's a quick idea of that. At one point, I was online for 12 straight hours and there was an 8 hour stretch where I didn't even get out of my seat. That's rough, but we do it big here.



Who wants the Kid Nation update? There's a mix of the blog readers who are big on this show and others who have given it a try and get nothing out of it. The kids get tired of the same food, so they decide to go out and kill 10 chickens. That's when pageant girl Taylor and her girls start throwing a fit. We've went this long into the season and Taylor hasn't been popped in the face yet by some other kid? We're overdue. She wants only the ugly chickens to be killed and they make a deal with her. Taylor doesn't work this week after saying she would last week. The crew wins the award and has to pick between a library or free arcade. They go with the arcade and tell Taylor she doesn't get it since she was worthless. The arcade is abused as people do that all day instead of work, so they put a lock on it until work is finished. Hunter Hearst Helmsley is given the gold star this time and wants to give his $20,000 to his dad since he lost his job a year ago. Good to see one of the non-rich kids get the win. This week, the council leaves for a bit and Sophia is named town sheriff. Could get interesting. Only a few more weeks left.

Oh, so it's downright drama you want? Real World: Sydney is the ticket for you. Been keeping up with that? I hope so because it's been amazing. At the beginning of the season, I thought it'd be brutal, but now we have action central. More Parisa and Trish drama. After Trish pushes Parisa, Parisa gets to decide whether to keep her in the house or send her packing. The house didn't think she'd actually do it, but she laid the hammer down and sent Trish packing and off the show. You should be able to bust people on these shows, you know it'd be better TV. This is the 3rd roomie that leaves so far this year. KellyAnne and Ashley are wanting to make the rest of Parisa's time hell. The work teams are splits up and Ashley is named leader of her team and Parisa is underneath her. Next week, Isaac comes back after flipping out over being an acid head. Ashley and Dunbar hook up this week?



Now it's time to mention the WVU game. I don't trash talk much to their football fans, so I'll let their choke job just speak for itself. However, mostly everyone around here all season is getting in faces and saying how they're god's gift and the greatest football team ever. It's like that every season, so I take that with a grain of salt anyways with those opinions. A good team, I gave them that all season. Their offense is fun to watch, but the best team in the nation? Come on now. So the last game of their regular season, they play some bums in Pitt. Felisha is about the only one who had any hope here, a diehard Pitt fan that is a fellow blog supporter, I gotta hand it to her. Beat those bums and they're in the national title game, easy as that. A 30-point favorite and they get rocked straight up. People were already booking flights to New Orleans and all of that jazz. Like that pun? Now people are crying and all is good in my world. I know, the comeback is that my Irish aren't in WVU's league this year. I never said they were, my boys are one of the worst in the entire country, but at least the pointless bragging will end this year in my area. In a serious note with WVU, why didn't they run Slaton much that game? I don't understand that one bit. They wrote him off halfway into the season and took his carries away.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho: http://www.myspace.com/missbadmami

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Jas gets credit for finding this Christmas tune. I kinda dig it, would be better uncensored, but you do what ya can. It's not bust out loud funny, but it's pretty good. Can't go wrong with the old people in it either. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54sDzkyhx_Q



3 Quick Thangs:

1. Let's try some birthdays for Wednesday, December 5th. Starting things out would be former NFL quarterback Jim Plunkett, 60. The Living Legend, wrestler Larry Zbyszko, he's now 54. One of the all time great NFL wide receivers, Art Monk, he's doing the big 5-0. All in the sporting world there and we have a short list. I wish I could give more, but this is how things go.

2. Heisman Trophy this Saturday? This is a tough one. I feel that Tebow will get it. Who would I pick? I'd vote in either Darren McFadden of Arkansas or how about Colt Brennan of Hawaii?

3. You know what is underrated? Hot news anchor chicks. My area has some good ones and we're in the middle of nowhere. Big city anchors, that's worth bringing home.

Roadies Go To Charlotte!

I know it's been a while, but I'm here to make it up to you. Road trip! Yep, that means I should have a lot of things to talk about in this one. The setting? Charlotte, North Carolina. The reason was put together by my boy Scotty B and he conned me in with a Celtics game, good get right there indeed. Along for the ride was Spank and we set sail for the 5+ hour ride to the Dirty South in the old lady Buick.



Nothing out of the ordinary on the way down, but we'll still make mention. The music of choice was led by Spank being the car DJ for a while. He went with some MJG, Lil Flip and Z-Ro combo, Wu Tang Clan, old Michael Jackson out of nowhere, Nelly (the only bad choice and we both agreed) and then when we got near the city, I flipped it on some rap radio stations. No rap stations in my area at all unfortunately, but with mainstream stations, you get the same 3 songs played constantly over the day. Several times I'd flip on one rap station and a minute or two later, the same song would be on the other, go figure. Soulja Boy has lost his luster, that kid is on every 2.5 seconds, but he makes money, so I guess I can't argue it. I should rap and say the same line over and over and make a killing. It is catchy, I'll give him that, but I don't need to have it rubbed in my face all day.

Somehow I get to be the road trip driver for my crew recently. I'm by far the worst driver of the bunch, but I guess my buddies aren't scared. My gas light comes on and we see a Citgo station off the exit. We pull off and can't find it. After driving a while we see a sign that says 3 miles away. Since we were in the middle of nowhere, I cranked (crank dat) it backwards into the oncoming lane and and whipped it around. Then we went down some back road in farm land and eventually found this dirty gas station with 2 pumps. Then to get back onto the south interstate, we had to go through another town for a few miles and got it going. It felt like Deliverance. Our biggie was missing our cutoff to our final road. The whole time we were on 3 major roads, that's it. We screwed it up and ended up onto I-85 when we were supposed to say on I-77. We roll into this town called Gastonia, NC. The car of choice was a Chevy Caprice with those huge goofy rims. The rims were worth more than these cars, but it's funny. The huge rim fad has passed us too I believe, let's write that one off.



We get to Scotty's place and I love his setup. He took good care of us and his house is unbelievable. It's sure a weird change from the mean streets of Shinnston. I like the city since there's a lot of things to do, but still not sure I could ever live in one. I definitely would wreck every other day with my driving skills. The good luck part of the trip was that we were in the hometown of the greatest wrestler ever to lace up a pair of boots, Ric Flair. I had to take the laptop down since I'm ate up on here to begin with, but I was able to get some things done. Friday night I roll to bed at 6:10 AM and wake up at noon.

Food? How'd we do there? We make Cork proud by hitting up a Chili's in Charlotte. I got the honey chicken crispers that are quality, I recommend that. Also with that I got some fries that were just ok, but one awesome corn on the cob. Who has decent corn in November? They did, it was worthy. On a backtrack, for the road trip down we loaded up on 2 dozen D'Annunzio pepperoni rolls from rugged North View, WV. Right up there with the best pepperoni rolls ever. Saturday afternoon, we hit up this little Chinese shack. I get my favorite, honey chicken, pork fried rice, and cheese wontons. Thumbs up here and then I brought a gallon of tea back to the house. Some dirty southern sweet tea, it doesn't get any better.



Also while in Charlotte, I got to finally play Rock Band for PS3. You talk about an addicting game, especially if you have a group of people. Think of Guitar Hero III except it's the whole band. You have an actual drum set for this game, a guitar similar to GH, and a mic for the vocals. We didn't get to play it a ton, but what we did, it was well worth it. I manned the drums and picked it up fairly quick. Scotty's brother-in-law is legit at this and Guitar Hero. I've heard of people going nuts on expert and seen videos, but never in person till this weekend. It was a sight to behold, he can hang with those guys. Speaking of, there's already Rock Band vids on YouTube. I was hooked on watching those, especially the drum vids. Also, check out the kids that play Guitar Hero if you have never, the legendary 8-year old boy doing Psychobilly Freakout is excellent.

How can I leave out the best part of the trip? This was my highlight for sure, even if I'm one of just 4 people east of the Mississippi who are still diehard NBA fans. Saturday night it was time for a Celtics game and it is weird seeing my boys make national news and people actually report on them. It sure hasn't been like that for the past 15 years or so. Props to Scott for hooking us up with amazing seats. 15 rows up, dead center court, right on top of the court basically. The arena is really nice, I was big on the setup. Coming in with the best record in the NBA (who knew?), the Bobcats weren't going to lay down easily. They battled all game and it was a struggle. Ray Felton was working Rajon Rondo like no other due to Felton having the strength and also the moves to drive the paint at will. I was behind the great Tommy Heinsohn, Hall of Famer, and our color commentary announcer, he's the man. I wish I would have attempted to walk down to him and shake his hand. I'm not a big autograph person, I'd rather get a shake and talk for a few than get the signature. End of the game, Cats are up 2 and they mess up the inbound. Pierce gets the ball and fires it to Ray Allen wide open for a 3 at the buzzer, and it's good! I was going wild at that happening and half the crowd was stunned. It was strange seeing so many Celts "fans" in the crowd. I'd be willing to say that 80% at least were bandwagon hoppers, but it happens. Maybe the most exciting NBA ending I've seen in person, so that made my trip worth it and then some.



The ride home I was worn out for, but it's still always fun for a road trip. CD wise, we didn't do a whole lot, but jammed out to some older Wu Tang to start things out. After that, most of the afternoon was getting NFL scores and keeping up to date with that on sports radio. That wraps up the Charlotte trip in a nutshell. Hope you liked those ramblings. If not, that's how it goes sometimes.

Another basketball note. Last weekend I hit up the WVU basketball game with my boy Sidell. He was in from Myrtle Beach and he knew I'd be in for any kind of game if given notice. Unlike WVU football as I've mentioned recently, I hope the basketball team does fine and will keep up with them. I think they'll do well this year, nothing amazing, but they'll hold their own and surprise. Coach Huggins is going to be great to watch, he's a character. He was crazy pimped out that night, purple suit with yellow buttons. I'm curious to see his recruiting pool in the next few years. He's not afraid to bring in some total convincts. I'm not against that if the the coach is able to manage these idiots. Huggy Bear mania is running wild up there, shirts and the like are already all over Morgantown. For the non locals, keep an eye out for Joey Alexander. Everyone around here knows of the kid, but he's got some sick skills. A tall skinny dude but he can throw down with the best of them and has long arms that'll be useful. After the game, we hit up Applebee's and most of the team was there afterwards for whatever that's worth. Local legends Teddy Ballgame Talkington and Lil Jerry West, it's fun to see them be crowd favorites. Teddy has game if they give it to him, West is just out there due to his dad.

What's up with Kid Nation? To start things off, we get the results of the new elections, all districts have new leaders. DK wins the red after Guylan steps down without going to the polls. Michael takes out Larry Bahd Laurel for green. Blaine is the new yellow leader after he takes out Seinfeld. Greg is the new blue leader as he gets rid of Anjay. People are freaking out of how Greg and Blaine are together leading their districts, being dictators. Everyone says that Greg, Blaine, and DK have no respect and need to compliment people. Michael sets himself away from the other three leaders. Stuff is blowing up, good drama. Taylor bawls like a baby and says she's not working and will leave. Greg wins the upper class. Greg blows up at the gold star ceremony and the whole town wants him to change. Larry Bahd Laurel gets the gold star. Next week, they try to start up a school.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: http://www.myspace.com/homie2828

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Hey Cakes, seen that first vid of yours you sent the other day, that's like a car wreck, bad times, but you have to watch. The second was new to me. Unfortunately, I'm not posting either of those on here, hah. I should thoug. A find from The_Freak and it's a great one. The video game fans will remember this gem. It's the Madden 92 Ambulance Montage, enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_138p6uzhUk

3 Quick Thangs:

1. Let's try some birthdays for Wednesday, November 28th. Paul Shaffer, David Letterman's buddy, he's now 58. Actor Ed Harris, 57. Jon Stewart does it big for his 45th. Anna Nicole Smith would've been 40 on this day. A pretty rough group, not a lot that really sets the world on fire. It happens.

2. Notre Dame football season is over at a whopping record of 3-9. My boys' first 9 loss season ever, it was brutal to watch. The question I get a lot is have I had enough with Charlie Weis? I'm on his side totally, no way does he (or will he) get ran out of town. Gotta give him some years and let him do his thing, he'll do his business and bounce back from this year.

3. It's getting about that time. Christmas card season! One of my favorite traditions in that I send out to people all over the place. I hope to do the same style I always have in the past, we'll see what goes on with that. If we still keep in touch and you're in my big address pile, I'll send out the words of wisdom. Get at me if you want on the list if you aren't already on.

Hopwood.. Always Up To No Good

Anything crazy been going on? Hopefully something out of the ordinary has been happening in your neighborhood. It's been over a week, so of course I'm going to have some stories to mention. I'll branch all of the place. Some things you're going to enjoy, some you'll probably hate like no other, but you'll still keep reading, that's the goal anyways.



Last Saturday it was a trip to Red Lobstah in Uniontown with the bunch. We rolled 12 deep: Me, Mudcat, Spank, Fortney, Abbey, Ozzie, Maria, Kari, Cakes, Mills, Darren, and Darren's chick. It's always a trip worth making and I'm never one to pass down food trips, even if I'm a little guy. I loaded up with the lobstah skewers, grilled shrimp skewers, baked potato with sour cream and butter, salad, and a bunch of high quality biscuits. Unfortunately, there were leftover biscuits, not acceptable, but I did my part. My food received a big thumbs up though, I was happy.

I get my bill at the end of the night and me and Spank get fired up. How so? They put gratuity on there. I realize it's on there since some bums won't tip, but that's just an insult to my face. I always tip nice since nobody gives the waitress any credit and wants to complain about everything. It's nothing major, but I just like to hook them up for a job well done. If I get gratuity on the bill, they get that exact amount and not a penny more. I know what you're thinking, why let it bother me and why not just add my normal tip on there to begin with? Because they probably looked at us, rolling in with regular dirty clothes and figured we wouldn't pay up. Their loss I say, our money is just as good as the rich guy sitting across from us. Not like it would've been a ton more of a tip, but it's just the principle. We can't be the only people that think this way.



Road trips are always fun. On the way back, with my superb driving skills, I get lost. Imagine that. I drove and in my car was Spank and Mudcat, so we had a fun time regardless. We missed our exit and then took the next one, the right thing to do, correct? Well, we get off the ramp and there's no opposite bound on-ramp to get back where we were. We ended up having to drive around through the city of Hopwood in the mean streets. I'm not sure how mean, but we drove around a good half hour through the city to backtrack to Uniontown and then start the journey again. I randomly asked how many Shinnston people my boys thought have ever been in Hopwood. Spank comes back with 7 as his guess. A few seconds later, Mud is calling Fortney on the phone to tell him we missed the exit and Spank did the same with Ozzie, letting them know we are fools. Ozzie ends up telling Spank that he bought a car in Hopwood before, the irony around here. Hopwood, always up to no good, throwing up H's.

Now we jump into two weeks worth of Kid Nation. First off, even if you're not a fan, I think you'll like this section. Maybe you can even give it a try like some I'm about to write have, for good or bad. At least an edition we're showing this week after my writeup, The_Freak's Advice on Crying Kiddies. The oldest of the two episodes we'll talk about, November 7th started with the kids getting bored. It's weird how we're just now seeing some kids that we haven't seen all year until this episode. Who is Natasha and Migle? And what kind of name is Migle? The showdown has the teams chewing gum. Then they spit the gum out into the hand of their leader and they make a collage of gum with a color key. Strange I know, but I just write about it. Green gets first class for the only time ever. Gold star to Kennedy the Kentucky wacky girl. She was the first to call her parents and they actually seemed excited the kid won $20,000. The other families are rich kids and their parents treat it as pocket change. Divad gets pissed she hasn't been given the start yet. Next week, the teams get changed around.



Next week is here and what happens? The council leaders are giventhe option to pick another person from the opposite teams they want. Nate Dogg, who we think likes boys, goes to the red squad. Emily (Fattie Chicken Pants as The_Freak would call her) is traded to blue. Blaine, one of the big kids, he's sent to yellow to be the work horse. Green team doesn't pick any changes since they feel their team is rock solid. The challenge this week is a fairness deal. They have four groups and have to try to carry 1 ton of rocks over the line. To get the reward, they need to get the 1 ton. The first to get to the line will win the challenge, but if they did that quick, the other groups would turn on them for being selfish. No group tries to be selfish and they still don't get the reward. Randi taps out and wants to go home. Blaine wins the gold star. Re-elections next week and it looks like big drama.

A short thing on new people giving the show a try. Cakes admitted the other day at Red Lobstah that he tried to watch a few episodes. He said after that, he couldn't do it anymore and didn't get into it. That's an honest dude right there, I have to respect that. Then my girl Jas watched last week's episode online and was hooked right away. It's worth a try. With that quick intro, it's time to delve into The_Freak's Advice on Crying Kiddies, for those with virgin ears, beware, we're going uncensored:

The_Freak (8:20:19 PM): They need a damn fight

The_Freak (8:25:08 PM): Isn't that the broad that loses every week?
The_Freak (8:25:13 PM): ...every single week

The_Freak (8:42:17 PM): Yeah Zach, you're a pimp with your jeri curl and mullato dick sucking lips

The_Freak (8:52:03 PM): Why are they crying?
The_Freak (8:52:07 PM): Does she have AIDS?
The_Freak (8:52:21 PM): Bitch ass motherfuckers crying

The_Freak (8:55:53 PM): It's hard to take a guy seriously when he wears a yellow ski hat.

I was hanging in my room the other day and Mom comes up and says, "You have a message from Mario." I was thinking, Mario who? So I check the phone messages and it's from Super Mario himself, she thought that was something else, cracked me up too. It's a message telling me to pick up the game. I already had it on reserve, but was funny I got a call for that from a recording. "It's me, it's-a Mario!" Super Mario Galaxy for the Wii. I know I'm a Wii biased person, but this game is very addicting after the first few days. The controls are smooth, nice storyline, game play is easy to get hooked on, no complaints yet.



The English group at my school was reading The Outsiders over the past few weeks. At the end of it, they got to watch the movie, old school style, circa 1983. Anyways, that movie is really good for those who haven't seen it in a while. The storyline is worth it alone. The thing that surprises me is the star power that movie had. In it you get the likes of Matt Dillon, Patrick Swayze, Ralph "Daniel San" Macchio, Rob Lowe, Emilio Estevez, Diane Lane, and C. Thomas Howell just to name a few. That's big time. I just thought it was worth mentioning.

It's time for an update on CDs to see what we can add to the collection. We go all rap with one R&B this time. Most of these I just got and haven't had time to listen, so can't give a full review.

Chris Brown: Exclusive. I start off with some pimpin' R&B. Sure, he's a kid, but he's still talented I think. As far as dancing goes, and this has nothing to do with whether the CD is good or not, he's about as good as it gets. Michael Jackson is still the best to ever do it, even if he likes little boys and turned himself white, but Brown does a nice Jackson impression.

Cassidy: B.A.R.S. (The Barry Adrian Reese Story). Some quality lyrics on this, Cassidy can spit with the best of them. The thing I'm not quite as big with him is that he tries to do too many club songs. Then again, that is what sells, so I guess I can't argue his theory. Cassidy's best stuff is probably his freestyle battles against Freeway, legendary. Speaking of Freeway, he has a CD coming out soon and I'm way pumped for that.

Daz Dillinger: Gangsta Party. Yep, that same Daz you're thinking of. Daz from the DPG. He has several solo projects and most seem to be good. It doesn't line up with his mid 90s work with Kurupt, but that's a tough level to make it back to.



Jay-Z: American Gangster. I never was a Jay-Z guy. People are all on his nads like he's one of the best ever, I just don't see it. He's good, but I just think he's overrated. An excellent businessman, but not elite as far as rappers go. That's just my opinion. Then again, I'm saying this and have all of his CDs, go figure. This one here has a lot of the American Gangster movie influences in it. I'll give credit where it's due here, this CD is pretty good. Plus, you can't go wrong with Nas and Lil Wayne on the album. Weird how Nas dropped what is possibly the greatest diss track ever in Ether against Jay-Z years ago, and now they work together.

Playaz Circle: Supply & Demand. These are Ludacris' boys and have been around for a minute, but haven't really been mainstream till recently. The song you know would be Duffle Bag Boy featuring Lil Wayne. That's one awesome track by the way. Members of this group? Tity Boi and Dolla Boy, go figure.

RBX: Broken Silence. If you're a fan of the greatest album ever made (Dr. Dre's The Chronic), you'll know RBX for sure. A few lines of his voice and you know it's him right away. A few famous lines the rap fans know of his? "I drop bombs like Hiroshima" and "Seven execution style murders, I have no remorse because.." Solo he doesn't really made a name for himself, but he's still living like it's 1992 all over again.

JR's Rant of the Week: "Wait a minute! What the hell.. Finley is getting in the ring! That's too much! Mysterio! And MVP in! Kane in! And Big Daddy V on the outside! My god! This is a barroom brawl! This is completely out of control here!"

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: http://www.myspace.com/kidder12

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: This is a find from ManDingo. Sports fans will appreciate this. Football announcer Verne Lundquist cranking dat Soulja Boy. http://youtube.com/watch?v=DS3ky9SSMF4



3 Quick Thangs:

1. We haven't had birthdays in a good while. In that case, let's go Friday, November 16th: We didn't pick a good day, one of the worst ever. No huge star on this one. Golfer Corey "The Rat" Pavin, 48. British boxer Frank Bruno, famous for getting rocked by Mike Tyson, he's 46. Doc Gooden, he's all coked up somewhere while being 43. Cosby Show girl, Lisa Bonet, 40. Skater Oksana Baiul, 30. Rough times on this list.

2. I don't get this Tila Tequila chick at all. People, guys and girls alike, think she's actually hot? She's a mess I think, maybe I'm in the minority thinking that. She doesn't do a thing for me.

3. Conversion! I've gotten on rants before on how many WVU football fans act in my area. It's not all, but I don't have to explain myself. In a nutshell, every single year they think they can beat the world and let you know about it. Yet they schedule the School of the Deaf and Blind and teams like that on much of their schedule. No, I'm not arguing that Notre Dame is better, my boys would get creamed by WVU this year. My guys are one of the worst in the entire nation. Still, a lot of them just keep whining on how great they are, blah blah. My boy Spank had enough the other day and finally realized what I've been saying for years. This week? He's loading up on Notre Dame gear, good times. And with those good times, I'll see you in a week or two for more action!

Can of Ass Whip

Today's subject comes from The_Freak, courtesy of Santino Marella on RAW this past week.



You know what I like? It's when I gear up for a blog and have a bunch of topics to break down. The only tough thing about that is how much space to give to each topic and better yet, decide what topics to put at the top of the post. If I start out the wrong way, half the people are going to get bored and find something else to look at online. Give it a chance, you can put away the porn for a few minutes, we all gotta take a break every now and then. As I always say, there's something in here for everyone, we go worldwide. Time to giddy up..

It's time to jam like no other. That's right, I loaded up on Guitar Hero III for the Wii last week. If you're a fan of the older ones, you need this one because it delivers. 70+ songs and the track list is unreal, some very good choices from today's era and also hits of old. I think I'm a good Guitar Hero player, but nothing amazing. Some of the YouTube videos on people playing is just insane, I love watching that stuff. Also, Slash is involved with this one, so it's legit. I played Metallica's One last night and it's a chore. It wore me out, but when you get done playing it, if you don't get booed off the stage, you're jacked up. Yeah, I realize me and my buddies are nearly 30 years old and spend our time bugging our eyes out on Guitar Hero, but we could be doing much worse. It's way addicting. While reading a message board on GHIII, I read a thing that one dude played 14 hours straight and then had to go work 2 jobs after that. Then another had to ice his hand down from playing so much. That cracks me up good, but it's worthy. The game gets my stamp of approval. Go buy it now if you have a Wii, 360, PS3, and PS2. On a sidenote, as I bought GHIII, I reserved Super Mario Galaxy. It comes out in about a week and looks smooth. Mario has been around for ages and in almost every case, the game is as advertised, you can't go wrong.



Last year, I hit up movies all the time. This year, not so much unfortunately. Saturday night I was due though, so I went with my boy Spank to see American Gangster. I'm a big Denzel fan and his movies are always quality, so maybe I'm biased. Anyways, an unbelievable movie that is a must see. The plot is an actual true story and if you know a little about it, the movie will go into it even more. A funny thing we laughed about was how some parents were bringing their kids to this movie. We saw a couple bring in 2 girls that looked to be about 8 years old. The very first scene, before the title even appears, someone gets their head blown off. After that it gets mean and f-bombs galore, good times. Still, what idiot parents are out there. They'll see that stuff soon enough anyways, but take em to some kiddie movie. I went on a tangent there, but make sure you go see this movie. For the rap and R&B fans, you'll get to see parts done by Common, T.I., and Anthony Hamilton. So far, within 5 minutes of your time that I've taken to read this, I've recommended buying GHIII and seeing Denzel be a straight up ruthless gangsta. You're still on his side all movie, even though he plays a "bad" guy. Russell Crowe does a fine job in this movie too.

A few weeks ago was the epic A#BA Draft. For those that aren't on the up and up, that's the #basketball 20-man keeper fantasy NBA league. Yes, you read that right. 20 people in this league, it's the most competitive online league out there, bar none. The NBA fan base seems like it dwindles down each season. I know in my area, it's basically composed of the 12 dudes in the EDDFL you read about last week, my money league that I run. Outside of that, nobody around here as a clue about NBA, it's a sad thing, but I'm not about to let it die. The passion I have for the NBA has always been top notch. You're also probably wondering what my squad is going into this season. The first five dudes are my keepers and after that is what I went with on Draft Day. Ladies and gentlemennnn, this is youuurrrrr Memphis Sounds:

1. Dwyane Wade: Miami
2. Andre Iguodala: Philadelphia
3. Danny Granger: Indiana
4. Eddy Curry: New York
5. Andrew Bynum: LA Lakers
6. Mike Conley Jr: Memphis
7. Udonis Haslem: Miami
8. Marco Belinelli: Golden State (Dude is Rocky Balboa, circa 1976, a spitting image)
9. Antoine Walker: Minnesota
10. Stevie Francis: Houston
11. Renaldo Balkman: New York
12. Jason Smith: Philadelphia

What went down on Kid Nation last week? Our favorite Jared, is mad that Divad (what kind of name is that?) on the red team is selling snacks for cheap that she got out of the kitchen. He goes on a warpath and wrecks her table and flips out. That's good TV and it started out right away. After that, the council finds treasure money. Instead of giving it to everyone, they end up buying things they thought they all could use: baseball bats, balls, and whatever else. Jared starts to sell homemade necklaces and loads up on the money. With his money, he buys a lot of clothes to look like a pimp and even has the hat as he struts around Bonanza City. Nate Dogg, this weird home school kid gets the gold star. Greg dogged Nate all season until Nate manned up and earned his respect. Nobody cried and went home this week. Talent show this week coming up.



Some are asking how the MILF scene went on Halloween night. This year, the numbers were down. The quality was also way down. On my street, it was me and 2 other houses giving out candy. Usually our street is packed with people giving, but my neighbors turned into bums. So what would happen is that these lazy little kids wouldn't walk down my street as much since there were just a few of us with candy. No wonder West Virginia is always among the fattest states in the country. One kid did have a Guitar Hero costume though, he won my pick for most creative. Had the guitar strapped to him and dressed as an 80s hair band rocker. Other than that, there wasn't a lot that really stood out as being original. And the MILFs that were out, most of the ones that looked good on first appearance, had a cig dangling out of her mouth. Bad times right there, that'll get ya crossed of my list in about 0.3 second.

JR's Weekly Rant from a week ago:

"King do ya hear that? What the hell is the Chairman talking about? Next week! One night only! The return of DX! What a night it's gonna be in Los Angeles! Stone Cold! DX! Monday Night RAW! We'll see ya next week everybody!"

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: This one really isn't too hot, but she's fairly filthy, so she'll work. http://www.myspace.com/cherry146105

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Time to give credit to my girl Mustang in the mean streets of Michigan. Can't ever go wrong with funny guido vids: http://youtube.com/watch?v=4JMOh-cul6M



3 Quick Thangs:

1. We'll hit birthdays again soon enough, but we'll take a commercial break and go to The_Freak's Words of Wisdom. Kind of like my barber's words, some quality advice: "Delaware beat Navy, which beat Notre Dame, which beat UCLA, which beat California, which beat Oregon, which is No. 3 in the latest Bowl Championship Series rankings."

2. Today's far out there fact of the day: It is illegal to hunt camels in Arizona. True story. Who hunts camels anyways?

3.About 3000 years ago, most Egyptians died by the time they were 30.