Sour Patch Kids

Movie update time. Get out there and go see Jackass 2 as soon as you can. I've been on a roll lately picking some quality movies to see that were worth it. I went to Morgantown on Saturday night with Cork and Spank. This was for a 10:05 movie at the new theater up there. Anyways, the place was so packed that the line to get tickets was out into the parking lot, no joke. Anyways, I ended up spending $20 there. I felt like I was at a Pirates games. I got the ticket for $7.50, a thing of Coke that I could've drank on for a week, nachos and cheese (at a theater, that surprised me), and of course some Sour Patch Kids. On the movie itself, it's straight up over the top stuff. We knew that going in, but I'd rank it 8.5 out of 10 at least. It has high rewatchability (if that's a word) power. You'll be rolling the entire time. Of course they're running around naked, but you knew that going in too, so that's part of the territory. Spank loved the movie, but his conclusions was, "Too much cock" in the movie. That cracked me up.



During that movie, I left after part of the Notre Dame game at Michigan State. They were getting trounced hardcore. But when I get home that night, they end up winning 40-37. Who would've guessed? Now they're 3-1 with finally a softer spot in the schedule. Purdue, Stanford, and UCLA are up on the schedule as the next slate, all 3 games in South Bend, hopefully that helps the cause. Only 3 more road games all year, the last of those being in the mean streets of USC.

Speaking of college football, here's one for the fans: Garrett Wolfe. Yep, you all know him, but it's time to give some respect. Runningback of Northern Illinois and this kid means some serious business. He doesn't get looked at because of who he plays for, but check out his stats. They actually play a few good teams a year, so he's even done it against big talent. He's a walking video game, yet most of the average fans don't have a clue about the guy, sad. Do some research people.



Another late weekend me for in this last one. On Friday night, my idiot self was up till 7:30 AM online. Like I've always said, I'd be doing the same things online at 10:00 in the morning or whatever that I would be if I stayed up all night. I wake up early all week, so I stay up big usually on weekends. My sleep schedule is all kinds of whacked out, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Oh my.. fantasy NBA season is here! This is pretty much what I live for. On Thursday, I have a draft with the #basketball crew. We're doing a test run on NBA.com's new system and it seems to be pretty sweet. We have 14 guys in this league with 2 divisions. It's USA vs Canada is how we set it up. Then on October 22nd, it's the real deal Holyfield, the EDDFL. Yep, that's my local money league. 11 guys in the league this year and words can't describe how excited I am about that. Then my last league, October 29th, is the #basketball cup, A#BL. 20 members in this league, a keeper league, VERY competitive. Football can now take a back seat, NBA is in my eyesight!

Tuesday, I was getting my teach on. I was out in the hall talking to a buddy about our fantasy football teams. Up walks this chick teacher. She jumps right in the converation and actually holds her own with fantasy football. I'm not meaning that she knows what city a certain team is from. I'm talking legit, stuff you don't see too often from chicks in general. I'm not talking about every chick, but you don't see many that are hardcore fantasy fans to where she's spitting out stats and knew how many points John Kasay put up this week (who the average fan doesn't even have a clue who he is), was updated on injured players, she won 2 leagues last year, and things of the like. It impressed me just because.



You believe I still have poison ivy and it's spreading more and more? That's never good times right there. It's behind both knees and that's a killer spot. It's also on one of my thumbs, down my legs, and a few spots on my arms. It hasn't gotten anywhere too crazy yet, so I'm good for now on that. I still may have to run to the doctor to get some medicine in me though.

By the time the next blog comes out, it'll be October more than likely. That's some wild stuff there, you know how it goes. Also, if anyone out there reading wants to drop in a few paragraphs with some stories or whatever you want to talk about, hit me up and I'll see what I can do just to switch things up in here. I'll put it in the blog if it the staff deems it worthy.

Just a few new CDs to talk about..



Bone Thugs-N-Harmony: Thug Stories. I liked this one, but it doesn't have much of the edge that old school Bone had. It doesn't have the hard hitting fast lyrics as often as you'd want. They pimp it up more on this CD, but I still liked the vibe. One big thing for me was that Wishbone got to be featured a lot and he's usually one that is in the shadow of the group, yet he's my favorite of the bunch.

Chingy: Hoodstar. This is a feel good CD. I like Chingy, he stays true to his style. It's what me and my buddies like to call "happy rap". He's not out there to show how much of a thug he is or anything like that. It's not mean rap, but I can handle it since he puts in a pimp flow to it. Three 6, JD, and Mannie Fresh on this thing. Pullin' Me Back is the first single off this song that everyone has heard so far.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: http://www.myspace.com/lastaciasbody



3 Quick Thangs:

1. Another Cleveland trip planned. This time, it's October 6th. Yep, more Ring of Honor Wrestling with a stacked card. I can't wait. 2nd row tickets, here I come. Survival of the Fittest 2006!

2. Just when you thought Terrell Owens was on TV too often before, you haven't seen anything yet.

3. Let's go with some birthdays, shall we? Thursday, September 28th: Baseball manager Lou Piniella hits 63, geez. Jeffrey Jones (Ed Rooney, the principal on Ferris Bueller's Day Off) turns 59. NFL Hall of Famer Steve Largent, he's celebrating his 52nd. Former NFL wideout Irving Fryar goes for 44. Janeane Garofalo of SNL fame is now 42. Another underrated NFL wideoout, Jake Reed, he's 39. Mira Sirvino, Happy 36th. Swimmer Janet Evans is partying for her 35th. Hilary Duff is now 19, quality stuff right there. Also, on Sunday, I'd like to send a happy one to Susie (and blog commenter) up in PA, Happy Birthday! I'll leave your age out of this one, hah.

In A Coma, But I'm Back

Yes, I know. I've been in a coma. I haven't posted in a long time and people are starting to get on me. With that in mind, I better see what I can do for the readers out there.



What's happening people? It's been over a week since we last chatted, so I'm due to bring the goodies in this post hopefully. First thing, everyone is wanting to know my thoughts on the Notre Dame loss to hated Michigan. I'm typing this up a few hours after the game ended and things aren't pretty. That's the one game each year that I want to win more than any other in college football and my boys fell short in a major way. Props to Fortney, Barney, and the boys who are Michigan supporters. Sure, I could talk trash, but what's that going to prove? I don't like going that route anyways. My guys got burnt on passes and our secondary needs work. We dropped passes since we were afraid that Michigan was going to mangle us on a tackle, the line didn't hold up, and we had way too many penalties. Not a lot I can say. I'll just have to hear crap from WVU fans over it for a long time. I haven't hung myself yet, so that's the good news. I'll hold off on my WVU criticism right now, but you know where I stand on that anyways.. Onto other things..

When I say this week has been noneventful, I mean it. So I might have to reach all over the place for stories this time. Still, this post is being requested by some to get out as soon as possible. That means me and my staff are hard at work typing away for your enjoyment.



I was getting my shave on earlier and it made me think. I was bored a month or so ago and figured I'd buy some old school shaving "cream" instead of the gel. One thing I noticed is that I can buy that stuff for half the price of the gel and it lasts three times longer. And you can't go wrong with the fun factor. Something about how that works and you get the stuff going, some entertainment. Then again, weird things like that interest me. There's your shopping tip of the day, buy the old school stuff and you get to use it much longer. Don't say I didn't give you some advice today. Free of charge, as usual.

Speaking of cheap little things at the store. One of the best inventions ever is the hand sanitizer germ soap. It's nothing new, but if you're a neat freak like me, you need some of this stuff at your desk at all times. Quick and easy and you don't even have to wipe your hands off. Yeah, like I said, dumb things like that I get excited about. Right now I'm going with some classic Germ-X. http://www.germx.com.



I got to play gym teacher the other day. The kids were having volleyball tourneys all week, so that was interesting. I had 6th, 7th, and 8th grades throughout the day. Anyways, the 8th graders have a little talent and they don't embarrass themselves too much. The younger kids are entertainment. The 6th graders are so bad that they have to play a game called "towelball". Heard of that one? It was new to me anyways. How this concept works is you get a buddy and a towel. One holds one side of the towel, the other on the opposite end. You serve out of the towel and the other team tries to catch it in their towel instead of to volley it. So just think of like 12 or so kids on a team with these towels running around like Cornholio. They even can let it bounce on the ground once before it is played and it's still brutal. Funny though for sure. Meanwhile, as a part of the day, I got to shoot basketball and get paid for it. That my friends, is about as good as it gets.

Another easy one at my old high school today. I was supposed to be the driver education teacher, but since that guy was scheduled to drive with the kids today, I just got to hang out. So here's what I did. From 7:45-8:15, I had about 15 homeroom kids and we watched an assembly on the Homecoming Court and then they voted. After that, I had until 1:20 until my actual class. Yep, that's right, I had one class today. It wasn't much of a "class" though as it's one called Team Sports, so what my guys did was play some ball in the gym. I have it rough. Not many of this crew had talent, but still it was fun to watch the battles.



Anyone been keeping up with UFC's Ultimate Fighter as of late on Spike TV? Great season so far, but mainly for one reason. That is Shonie Carter. He absolutely makes that show. He's a punk, but he's entertaining at least. To me, he's one funny cat. This weekend we get a pretty good pay per view showdown. It's Matt Hughes and his 170lb title taking on BJ Penn who has beaten him before. I'm going with Hughes in this one though. Georges St. Pierre was supposed to fight Hughes at this show, but he got hurt, so Penn is the man in his place. Hughes is a bad man, but I look for Diego Sanchez to take him out in due time in that division.

It's time for the latest batch of CDs to add to my collection..



Clipse: The Hustler's Manual (Best Of). As I've said before, Clipse is the best live rap act I've seen in person. I've always been a fan of their stuff, so I had to get this one. Great music here for those who haven't heard much Clipse action.

Daz: So So Gangsta. Daz is back with this bad boy. As he's with JD now, the beats are excellent, but that doesn't take away from him still doing gangsta rap. I was worried about that at first when he joined So So Def, but no worries anymore. A short CD, but one that is very good.

Dem Hoodstarz: Band Aide & Scoot. This is a Bay Area group that I don't know much about to be honest. That's how I am with some of these CDs. Just try it out and see what happens. Plus, it's Bay Area rap, so of course I'm interested. I haven't listened yet to give this any kind of grade though.

Lupe Fiasco: Food & Liquor. This kid is the real deal. A Chicago rapper who is real smooth with his raps and he tells a story. You don't get many storyteller rappers these days as it's mostly watered down junk. Not Lupe though, be on the lookout.

Hillside Stranglaz: Celly Cel Presents Bad Influence. I got this one just based on Celly Cel being involved. He's a legend in the Bay, so it shouldn't be bad at all if the CD has his blessing on it.

JT The Bigga Figga: Drop Your Thangs (Just Box). Guess what, another guy from the Bay. It seems like JT has a new CD every month, he's not messing around in the studio.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: http://www.myspace.com/865388



3 Quick Thangs:

1. Getting poison ivy isn't one of the coolest things there is. Hopefully it doesn't spread on me. So far it hasn't, but I usually get it bad. I'll keep everyone updated. I know you're on the edge of your seats waiting on that.

2. I typed a lot of this up early in the week, so I'll just keep Monday's days up here.. Birthdays for Monday, September 18th: Pimp music singer Frankie Avalon is 66. Rocker Lita Ford goes for 48, dang. Baseballer Ryne Sandberg hits 47. Tony Soprano is 45. Actress Holly Robinson is celebrating her 42nd. I'm feeling old. Ricky Bell of Bell Biv Devoe fame, Happy 39th to you. Recently retired NBA baller Toni Kukoc is partying for his 38th. Lance Armstrong and his drug infested body is 35. Jada Pinkett Smith is also 35. That's a big list.

3. The snack as I type this up? Cheez-Its, green olives, and provolone cheese to go with peach tea. Now you're crazy if you think that doesn't rock.

27 Hours of Action

I like it when I have some different stories to write in here. I should have a nice selection this week to pick from. First off, it's always interesting when some random person I haven't talked to in ages sees me and mentions something about my blog. That cracks me up for reason. I also like how I'm just rambling along, everything is true, but I'm never doing anything too out of the ordinary and people think Shinnston is booming. However, whatever I write, some people take it for granted and it can ruin their day if they read something here they don't like. Just be laid back people. If you don't like it, don't read it, but you know you can't stay away. Again, you know how I am. If something is on my mind, I'm going to say it. That's the fun about it.



Movie time on Tuesday. I rolled to Fairmont with my boys Cork and Spank to watch Crank. I'm a huge Jason Statham fan as his work in both the Transporter movies have me hooked. There were 5 people in the theather counting our crew, you can't beat that. Also, Fairmont is my favorite place to go for a movie. $6 to get in, they sell Gatorade, and they have rocking old school seats. What else can a guy ask for other than some dirty chick bouncing around in there at the same time? We didn't get a dirty chick, but some days you can't get everything in your favor. Go see this movie, it's straight action the entire way with no dead spots. It also has some spots that are downright hilarious and that surprised me. Amy Smart isn't looking bad in this one at all. She reminds me of a regular chick, something you could actually see in real life instead of some uber celebrity who has all fake parts and gets airbrushed.

I'm going to bounce around with my week here, just to keep everyone on their toes. I'm moving along to Friday night where there was some good times to be had for all. I wake up that day at 5:45 AM for work. I come home around 3:30. I get online for a bit and then me and Spank get some Chinese while sitting around the house playing Madden and watching BET. It doesn't get much more relaxed than that. I'm in my own little world up here in my part of the house. On the Madden scene, we were bored and used a few teams from NFL Europe just for the fun of it. How'd that go? These teams are crazy slow, the QBs can't throw their patterns, and it's a mess. It's worth checking out though, just because it's teams rated low, so you have to really work for your yardage.. Then we move to later in the night..



Our crew was due to go out and eat. Ozzie, Matt, Kari, Spank, Sweet Pea, Fortney, Abbey, Sarah Stru, Sarah Stru's dude, Stevie Buck, Sims, and myself were along for the festivities. We ended up going to Outback. I'm not into Outback as much as everyone else and their brother, but I'll eat anywhere, I'm not picky. We had two round tables for the action. At my table it was Buck, Spank, Sweet Pea, Sims, Ozzie, and myself. We were joking how our table was the outcast, mostly single guys, and were loud all night as you just say what's on your mind. Our waitress was a total mess. She actually told us they were out of sweet tea and to be easy on the amount she gave us. You serious now? This set us off, but being that I always tip nice like an idiot, I still give her a nice tip at the end of the night. Go figure. I ended up getting the boomerang shrimp meal. $16 or something it was for that and a thing of fries, I thought it was expensive compared to most other places similar to that. Sweet Pea got like 3 bites worth of pasta and chicken for like $13, crazy. Good eating though.

After that, we roll to Fortney's house to get our gaming on. How's that? Everyone but Buck and Sims goes back to Shinnston for that. From around 11:30-3:00, we battled in 90s style Trivial Pursuit. Count me in for games like that at any time as there's trash talking going on and just people being idiots. We had three teams and I was paired up with Spank, Abbey, and Sarah Stru. Sarah's dude didn't seem to have a clue that we just act like a bunch of idiots. I think dude said 2 words all night, so I guess he's a good guy, but I can't tell you one thing about him. I can get along with anyone though, so he gets the benefit of the doubt, but I didn't even get the guy's name. Is it Pedro? Osama? Billy Jack? Chuck Norris? Who knows. These and many other unanswered questions in Shinnston, gotta love it. Big shout outs to Fortney and Abbey for letting our crew hang there, even if we probably stayed too long I'm sure.



I had to roll out a bit before 3:00. Everyone else was leaving since they were falling asleep, but I was just starting the night. I went to the chapel (the locals will know what I mean there) from 3:00-4:00 AM for Sarah Stru's Dad. Then I get home and I'm online till 8:45 AM. Not bad. 27 hours straight I was up, feeling good when I went to bed, but I needed a little sleep before the Notre Dame game at 3:30. Yep, I'm an idiot I know. I'm too addicted to being online, but I'm a machine when it comes to staying up late for whatever that's worth.

Last Sunday was another big thing for the crew. We had the first annual Shinnston Fantasy League, our NFL money league draft at Sweet Pea's house. Who all is in the league? Sweet Pea (The Commish), Ozzie, Matt, Maul, Bart, Salentro, Pill, Fortney, Jimmy Mills, and myself. It doesn't get better than having a live fantasy draft. Not even some chick could top that action and I'm being serious. Don't get me wrong there, but you can always find that in Shinnston if you want, but you can't always have a live fantasy draft. I got the 7th pick and drafted Edgerrin James as my franchise. Here's my team:



QB: Tom Brady: NE
Chris Simms: TB
Joey Harrington: MIA

RB: Edgerrin James: ARI
Reggie Bush: NO
Julius Jones: DAL
Kevan Barlow: NYJ

WR: Joe Horn: NO
Michael Jenkins: ATL
Troy Williamson: MIN
Antonio Bryant: SF
Marty Booker: MIA

TE: Todd Heap: BAL
Vernon Davis: SF

K: Neil Rackers: ARI
Nate Kaeding: SD

D: Washington
Cleveland

In a short wrestling note: The latest Wrestling Observer Newsletter came out with it's biggest issue of the year, the Hall of Fame edition. I won't explain this to the non-wrestling fans, so I'll make it quick. Five new members were added to the HOF this year. They are Eddie Guerrero, Paul Bowser (promoter of Boston in the 30s), Hiroshi Hase, Masakatsu Funaki, and Aja Kong. Meltzer started his HOF in 1996.



Since a lot reading always tell me they like the dirty thug ho chicks and things of the like, I'll let my boys Corndog and The_Freak help me out in this next section. First, thanks to The_Freak for finding this next pic. It has me rolling, well, just because. You know it's funny when you see it too, just admit it. And that pic doesn't seem too far fetched because we know anything can and will happen online, even someone getting punished as Ozzie would famously say. After the pic, I'm pasting a thing Corndog said about his MySpace adventures the other day. He always has something interesting to say and this one had me laughing. I'm easy to make laugh though, but still:



Corndog says:

So im just lookin around on myspace a lil bit tonight/this morning..just checkin out friends of friends, and im lookin at this girls page, who is from around williamson for the wv people.
so im checkin out this girls pictures and picture comments and BAM! right there is a picture comment from the one and only Bird33.
I had the feeling that he was an internet legend, and that proves it.

Pick a random girl on myspace and birdman is probably talking to her online at that very moment!

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: http://www.myspace.com/jaclynhall



3 Quick Thangs:

1. Notre Dame with a huge win this week against Penn State. What I liked was that my boys stepped up against PSU's supposed mean defense. It was 3-0 after the 1st quarter and I was expecting it to stay low scoring. However, the ND offense came to life and rolled.

2. Beach Bum Boxing: A great 10 minute clip that you'll enjoy. These bums fight for a bottle of Jim Beam: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6XYQpXIwEE

3. Just got some info through MySpace of all places, relayed through Wes and then to Klem. I'll paste the big happenings, congrats Clark and Carrie! "From Wes:
OUR friend Mr. Clark Riley and his wife Carrie gave birth today to a healthy baby girl. I was wanting to let everyone on here that might know Clark and has not received a phone call that it was a baby girl. 6lbs 10oz 20" Miss Peyton Elizabeth Riley! Congratulations Clark and Carrie........."

Party Like Rockstars On Labor Day

What's up since the last time we chatted? Things are going just fine here. I'll do my best to get my latest stories out to you as I normally do. Labor Day Weekend huh? Hopefully everyone has been rocking it out and living it up. With that in mind, nothing changes here, but since it's a holiday weekend, I might as well hype it up.



So I'm back to work and waking up early. The kids started last week, but I already got 3 days of work in. Crazy that teachers are already taking days off. I can't complain though, that's more work for me. Last year I lucked out and landed a long term sub job. This year I'm back to roaming all over the county, but that's fine by me. Less responsibility that way and I'm more of a glorified babysitter. No lesson plans to turn in and that makes things easier. This year, I have my Nintendo DS Lite in my bag and that makes my planning periods much better. Yes, I realize I'm double some of these kids' age and still am not afraid to pimp the DS. If it's good, it's good, no matter the age. It's a great handheld system.

I didn't make it to the Tally Rally this year, but Shinnston made their name up there like they do every year. Dad was talked into getting in the morra tourney this year. He was part of the winning team in the first year of the rally, 1979. I don't think he's been since then. Anyways, he teamed up with Sorine, Rocco, and Zuccio. They made it to the Finals, which meant they were on the big stage and got announced. That's funny in itself. They took on another Shinnston team that featured Mickey Tate, Frankie Tate, Albert Tate, and Matt Fleece, who ended up winning. No fights this year between Shinnston and Clarksburg surprisingly, but Dad said it was rowdy. Cops were in full effect once they knew Shinnston was running things on Friday night. Of course, our guys eat that up every year for some reason, which cracks me up. The average festival attendee probably doesn't know what to think when they're watching the morra tourney and most of the teams are wasted and just screaming and yelling at each other. It's some quality entertainment, trust me.



More festival talk. On Saturday, I hit up the Jackson's Mill Jubilee. I was hooked on this one when I went last year. Most festivals are the same, but this one is a little different. I go for the food alone. You get some homemade stuff that is awesome. I loaded up on a tally sausage sandwich, frittis (fried dough for those who don't know that), and homemade ice cream. It's got the old school vibe there of how they make food and make other things if anyone is into that. And another weird but fun thing is that you get to ride a tractor into the grounds. Yes, only in WV, but you gotta admit you're interested now.

Last Sunday I had my college fantasy football draft. It's the only one of it's kind in my area that I'm aware of anyways. I'm sure others are out there, but I never hear of people being in a fantasy NCAA league, yet we have our keeper league going well. I'm the returning champ of this league, so I have to come strong this year. I have an insane running back crew and also have arguably the best two kickers in the nation. Here's my roster for those interested:



QB: Omar Haugabook, Troy
QB: Josh Padrick, Florida International
QB: Kevin Kolb, Houston
QB: Jeff Rowe, Nevada
QB: John Stocco, Wisconsin
RB: Ray Rice, Rutgers
RB: Darius Walker, Notre Dame
RB: Garrett Wolfe, Northern Illinois
RB: Ryan Bohm, Utah State
WR: Ryan Grice-Mullen, Hawaii
WR: Vincent Marshall, Houston
WR: Michael Thomas, Arizona
WR: Levi Dejohnette, Arkansas State
K: Mason Crosby, Colorado
K: Sam Swank, Wake Forest
--
QB: Sam Kellar, Nebraska (Inactive - Transfer)

College football season is now underway. Saturday was a loaded up day. For me, my Irish squeaked by Georgia Tech. The first half was definitely ugly. But they were able to shut GTech down in the second half if that means anything. It took us a while to get the run game going, but once that happened, we had the momentum. Big Cal Johnson is a beast for GTech though, the best WR in the nation. They need to get him the ball more. Next week it's Penn State, should be a great one. I wasn't too far off in my Marshall/WVU prediction. The final was 42-10 and I said 42-0. I'll refrain from bashing WVU's schedule this week, but if they can't steamroll through these teams all season long, something is wrong.



It's time for new CDs I got in the past week..

Loon: No Friends. This is Loon's first solo project after leaving Bad Boy on terms that weren't so great. He's pretty outspoken in this one if you're interested in his thoughts. Underrated.

Masta Killa: Made In Brooklyn. You can't go wrong with some Wu Tang action. Lyrically, Masta Killa straight up gets it done. He doesn't get the attention that a lot of the other members get, but he's legit. Pick up his stuff, you'll like it if you want some good NYC rap.

Method Man: 4:21... The Day After. Back-to-back Wu Tang CDs. I really liked this one a lot. Some good appearances on this CD too. RZA, Raekwon, Inspectah Deck, Fat Joe, Styles P, Ginuwine, Redman of course, and ODB getting some cuts laid in there. Mef rips into people who said he was getting too mainstream.

Outkast: Idlewild. Here's my deal with Outkast currently. Big Boi doesn't mess around, he keeps his style true to what he's always done. He has some real good raps throughout this CD. Andre though, what's going on with him? He's all whacked out now and seems to be more of a guy that wants to sing instead of rap. Snoop, Birdman, Lil Wayne, Sleepy Brown, Killer Mike, and a few others on this. You get some weird tracks since it's based on the movie, but the ones that are good on this thing are worth checking out.

The Roots: Game Theory. This Philly rap group has been around for a while. They have a style all to their own. Their lyrics are usually right on, but it's more of an intellectual rap that mixes in some old school hip hop style. It's not a must have, but if you're into that style of rap, you'll like it.



Too $hort: Blow The Whistle. The pioneer of pimpin' rap. Over 20 years in the game and he put the Bay Area on the map. He has the same style as he did when he first started, so you have to respect that. You can't go wrong with this one. A true legend.

Young Dro: Best Thang Smokin'. From the Dirty Dirty in Bankhead, this is T.I.'s protege. He's been around since the 90s, but finally got signed to a big label recently with T.I. As he would say, "I can shoulder lean, I dunno how to dance though."

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: http://www.myspace.com/somayareece

3 Quick Thangs:

1. Let's go with birthdays for Monday, September 4th: A hot day for golfers as Ray Floyd is 64 and Tom Watson goes for 57. Damon Wayans turns 46. Mike Piazza turns 38. Marvin Gaye's daughter Nona hits 32. It's a day early, but September 5th is none other than Clark Riley's birthday, so be sure to wish him a happy one!

2. The Taster with Redman jamming in the background. These guys are talented: http://youtube.com/watch?v=ksoGda_Z6Bs

3. 52 degrees tonight. Finally, we're getting out of the hot weather. Bring on the snow!

Circus Sideshow Freaks

It's been a week and I have quite of few interesting topics to mention to the legions of fans out there who read my stuff. I guess it shows that you all are just as bored as me while reading this, so I'll keep pimping it out as usual. In this edition you get stories such as this dude with two parts that most guys only have one of, a fishing trip with Spank, Thursday night ball gone wrong and a shoutout to Shinnston to stop being lazy, video game battles at Posey's, and the Wallace Softball Invitational. Let's get things underway and quit messing around..



An excellent, yet messed up story, I read that was posted from my buddy TyLaw in Lobstah (http://lobsterrodeo.com/balls). Check this out, it's like nothing you've read before:

Are you SURE you want to remove that?
Sat Aug 19, 10:10 AM

NEW DELHI (Reuters) - An Indian businessman born with two penises wants one of them removed surgically as he wants to marry and lead a normal sexual life, a newspaper report said Saturday.

The 24-year-old man from the northern state of Uttar Pradesh admitted himself to a New Delhi hospital this week with an extremely rare medical condition called penile duplication or diphallus, the Times of India said.

"Two fully functional penes is unheard of even in medical literature. In the more common form of diphallus, one organ is rudimentary," the newspaper quoted a surgeon as saying.

I'll just leave it as it is. There isn't a lot more I can add to that story to make it even more freaky. It's like something you'd see in a movie, who has that? 24 years old and he's just now wanting to do something about it? Be in porn or something. A circus sideshow? You're a freak of nature, I'm sure you could make some kind of money having two at once, as mangled as they probably look. What throws me off is that it says "two fully functional". Yep, I'm think the same questions everyone else is, but I'll keep that to myself right now.



Wednesday was a fishing trip with Spank. I start the festivities by picking him up on the West Side at 7:30 AM. We go to Quiet Dell to get minnows, but they were out. We had to wait till 9:30 till the minnow dude came, so we went to the Nutter Fort McDonald's to kill time. Easily one of the worst all time breakfasts I've had in my life. We both took about two bites of our stuff and rolled out. Bad times. But we go back, get our minnows, and head to Stonewall Jackson Lake to set up shop. We finally start fishing at 11:00. We were there for 6 hours, getting out of there at 5:00. We walked a half mile down this trail with our hands full with poles, coolers, chairs, and whatever else we needed.

I figured it had to be a good fishing trip if I brought along some chew. It adds to the whole WV redneck thing. I never got into snuff, but chew I don't mind. I haven't tried it in about 6 or 7 years though, so I was due out of boredom. Red Man Golden Blend. Good times right there. I won't do it hardly ever though since I like my teeth to be pimped out, so I bust it out on the rare occassions. I forgot how dizzy that stuff gets me, it was like I was buzzing from a drink or something if I ever knew how that felt. I always prided myself on the straight edge stuff. Not the punk rock and whole deal, but with drugs and alcohol anyways. I never drink and haven't ever used an illegal drug in my life (weed, pills, etc). Never been drunk, I didn't even drink on my 21st birthday way back when. It's just not for me. Believe what you want on that stuff.



Oh yeah, fishing. I got sidetracked. I didn't get a bite all day at Stonewall, it was rough. Spank got two nice catfish though and we got pics of those. Overall, at Stonewall, it was an uneventful day as far as getting bites go. We go to Weston to eat on the way home. Weston surprised both of us. Been a while since I've been there, but it's no joke for a small town. They got a bunch of things there for that little place. But you can't go wrong with a fishing trip just to be idiots all day and get out of town. We then come home to the East Side and go to Anderson's Pond. We got more action at the pond in one hour than we did all day at Stonewall. We caught some nice bass there.

Thursday night for ball was the worst night ever. That's always our ball night at The Lighthouse. Guess how many people we got this week? 4. Yep, that's it. We called everyone we could think of to play and still nothing. It got to the point we were calling up little high school kids to come and play, but even they had stuff going on. So if you're a local baller and reading this, we need you to show up next week to get some ball in. My town is a pile of garbage for people being lazy bums. You can't get off your couch for 2 hours to play some ball? Ridiculous. I'm not calling anyone out in particular. I'll call out the whole town. Show up to play some ball, get some exercise in ya, it won't hurt, I promise. Weird how we had like 20 guys a few months ago in there and now everyone is missing in action.



Friday night it was video game action at my boy Posey's. We played NCAA 2007 on PS2 and Madden 2007 on GameCube there. Spank owned us as he straight messes cats up in those games. I'm able to hang in Madden though, but I've never seen anyone better in NCAA than he is. We played from 7:00-12:00 and you can't go wrong with that. Nolan stopped up to see the madness, but didn't play. The only downfall to the night? Posey's dog does not shut up. Me and Spank were ready to give it the Chickenwing and make it tap out. But the video game extravaganza overrides that. Also, Posey introduced us to some new chips that I haven't tried. Maybe you have, but if not, check out Lay's KC Masterpiece Hot 'n Spicy chips or Fiery Habenero Doritos.

Saturday rolls around and it's the annual Wallace Invitational Softball Game. This is Cork's reunion crew and I've been going for the past 5 years or so probably. A great time and the night always ends with some good home cooking. My team ended up getting beat, but it was fun nonetheless. I didn't have the game I wanted to play, but I still did ok. My batting was rough today, but I went 2-4. My outs were a line drive shot straight to the pitcher and another I hit to the second baseman and he gunned me. My hits were an infield hit that I legged out Ichiro style and one to the leftfield gap. I just couldn't get anything up in the air too deep though. I played left/center in the field as I like to run around with the speed and try to make some nice plays. I didn't get a chance to dive or anything today, but still always hold my own in the field.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: http://www.myspace.com/therealravenriley



3 Quick Thangs:

1. To the gum fans out there.. and I'm sure I've posted this sometime over the years.. but does it get much better than Bubble Tape? Of course not. http://www.bubbletape.com.

2. Birthdays for Sunday, August 27th you want? That's what I'll give you. Pee-Wee Herman goes for 54. Downtown Julie Brown is 45. Jim Thome hits 36. That's not much of a list, but that's all the staff deems worthy. Monday though, my Dad becomes another year older. Yep, Dude turns 57, he's getting up there. Props to him on that one.

3. I'm back on the Ramen noodles kick. Quick and easy eating.

Pornotube

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Year Of The Dog, Again

It's been a minute since I left you. What's on tap for this issue? I got a lot of new CDs that nobody will care about, but I'll write about anyways towards the end. Also, I see that maybe the religion thing in my last post might've scared some people away from leaving comments (0 comments last time, doh!), but I did get a lot of offline comments about that which were nice, so take that however you want. Third week of August and we're officially in the middle of the month already, it's going fast.



The past few days I've been awake at 9:00 AM on a summer day. I know, that's not like me at all. I gotta try to get on a decent sleep schedule since work will be here before I know it. Sure, I'll still stay up all night some, but I can't do that right up till the first day of work. Every year when I start back up, I'm in a few week coma anyways, but I'll adjust. The kids start here on August 28th, not bad. That's also my Dad's birthday for those who like to know little tidbits like that. He'll be 57, getting up there. He still thinks he's 15 though, nothing wrong with that.

Yesterday, it was off to Morgantown. The kids don't start school there at WVU until Monday, so I didn't have to put up with the madness of that crew yet. The dirty chick scene will be rockin' by that time (always a good thing), but this trip there wasn't any traffic, so all was good. I went with Spank and we rolled up to hang with Cork. We meet Cork at his work place, Chili's. We laughed that Cork was here on a day off, but it was to eat, not work, so all is fair. This was my first time eating at a Chili's and it wasn't bad. I got a 12 ounce ribeye cooked medium rare, loaded mashed potatoes or whatever they're called, a salad, mango tea which was something different but I didn't mind, and we snacked on some appetizers of chips and salsa and also cheesesticks. The chips had a crazy amount of salt on them, we could barely eat them. It's kind of a weird place, but my food was fine. They don't have many dressings for salads to pick from (no Italian, dang) nor do they make baked potatoes. You gotta have a baked potato with steak. The first impression I have is that it was fine, but it didn't set itself away from other restaurants to make me want to go on a regular basis. Spank said they'll be out of business soon, hah. I don't see that happening with the kiddies coming to WVU next week as it should be booming.



Then we roll to Cork's crib for some action. Nah, not porn action and unfortunately no chick action, but you can't get that all the time. Instead, we settled on busting out the XBox for some NCAA 2007 battles. I very rarely play XBox, so the controller setup is always confusing to me. Then again, people say the same thing when they come to my place and pick up the GameCube controller. The gameplay is very nice though and this season's version is worth getting. Spank can't be contained in this game, he's mean at it. After playing that for a while, we then settled on a night of watching RAW. It doesn't get much better than that.

This Sunday it's one of the bigger pay per views of the year. Yep, SummerSlam, hailing from Boston. The card isn't finalized, but I'm still going to give my quick predictions at this point. I look for Cena to win the WWE Title from Edge. Edge is really playing his role up and has been a credible champ in my opinion. I have King Booker retaining over Batista for the World Title as I feel that they need to build this feud up a little longer before giving the belt to the injury prone Batista. DX against the McMahons? It's what it is, but it should be entertaining, with DX getting the win. Hogan and Orton, this is a toughie. For some reason, I'm going to take Orton in this one with Hogan getting a win in a rematch. Even though Flair and Foley are past their primes, they still know how to tell a story and hype up this I Quit Match. I have Foley winning this one as blood will be all over the place like none other. Rey Mysterio beats Chavo.



I went a little wild on getting new CDs on Monday. You know me, I go in big streaks like that, but it's fun. Here's my latest rap and R&B albums..

B.G.: Play It How It Go Collection. My guess on this one is that B.G. is trying to get his lesser named boys some recognition. B Gizzle is still featured big on this CD, so I was interested of course.

C-Bo: Money To Burn. This is a story of rising from basically nothing. C-Bo started out as an underground rapper in Cali and then started gaining some big respect. In 1998, he was actually put in jail for his lyrical content, true story. He's a big controversial rapper and tells it like it is. He's not out to be like anyone else and has been in the game for a long time.



DMX: Year of the Dog, Again. You can't go wrong with anything from the self-proclaimed X Da Beast. That gets me everytime. Plus, for those who have BET, make sure you check out his show, it's high quality laughs. Especially when DMX goes golfing or grocery shopping, pure entertainment. Lord Give Me A Sign is the single released from this one so far and it's good. This is good timing to hype up Spank's karaoke performance a few weekends ago doing some DMX.

Inspectah Deck: The Resident Patient. For those in a coma, Deck is a member of Wu Tang. That alone is worth getting the CD for. A lot of the crew is on this one and it doesn't disappoint.

Jin: 100 Grand Jin. Most people that aren't rap fans know this guy as Jimmy from 2 Fast 2 Furious. But that's not what he does best. He saw his claim to fame being the best freestyle rapper in the history of 106 & Park's Freestyle Friday show a few years back. If you can find clips of that, it's pure skill. Anyways, the kid can spit some lyrics. He's someone I recommend.

Lyfe Jennings: The Phoenix. Want a little pimpin' music in your life? Here you go then. S.E.X. is the single released from this one so far. Three 6 Mafia and Young Buck are on this CD. Laid back flow here, destined to get the chicks feeling this music. Lyfe is good.

M.O.P.: Ghetto Warfare. You like mean rap? This is definitely for you. One of New York's finest right here. Their last few CDs have been bad, I admit, but now that they're away from the mainstream G-Unit backing, they straight rip it on this CD. These guys have been around and do it big. If you're into a lot of cussing in your songs, these guys have more than enough for your liking and a style to their own.

Pharrell: In My Mind. Yep, the skateboard freak. A lot of people on this one and you never know what direction Pharrell is going in. I still like him overall though, even if he's definitely a weird cat. Who is on this CD? Snoop of course, Pusha T of Clipse, Jay-Z, Gwen Stefani, Slim Thug, Nelly, and Kanye. Number One is the song released currently with Kanye.

Talib Kweli: Confidential. This is a best of edition here. This is one of the better lyricists out there and he's labeled as a conscious rapper. If you want pure rhymes and what hip hop is all about, Talib is your guy. He's not trying to make fake beef stories with other rappers or talk about him shooting people up. He just goes at it. http://www.myspace.com/talibkweli.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: http://www.myspace.com/killakate908

3 Quick Thangs:

1. 8 things that are overrated: makeup on a chick, expensive jewelry, Notorious B.I.G., laying in the sun, Blu-Ray Discs, big goofy sunglasses, Texas Roadhouse, Propel water.

2. Birthday time.. We'll go with Wednesday, August 16th: Frank Gifford, former NFL baller and sportscaster, turns 76. His wife Kathie Lee apparently has the same birthday, hmmm.. She's 53. Madonna goes for 48. To me, she's always been one of those chicks that you know is filthy dirty, but even when she's old, she can sometimes look decent, while other times she looks brutal. Angela Bassett is also 48, dang. No youngsters for this day.

3. By the time most of you read this, my first fantasy fooball league of the year will have been drafted. Yep, the esteemed A#FL, #basketball's big keeper league with 18 members. I'll report on that in the next post. We draft tonight at 7:00 in mIRC, nice.