Sunday, August 27, 2006

Circus Sideshow Freaks

It's been a week and I have quite of few interesting topics to mention to the legions of fans out there who read my stuff. I guess it shows that you all are just as bored as me while reading this, so I'll keep pimping it out as usual. In this edition you get stories such as this dude with two parts that most guys only have one of, a fishing trip with Spank, Thursday night ball gone wrong and a shoutout to Shinnston to stop being lazy, video game battles at Posey's, and the Wallace Softball Invitational. Let's get things underway and quit messing around..

An excellent, yet messed up story, I read that was posted from my buddy TyLaw in Lobstah ( Check this out, it's like nothing you've read before:

Are you SURE you want to remove that?
Sat Aug 19, 10:10 AM

NEW DELHI (Reuters) - An Indian businessman born with two penises wants one of them removed surgically as he wants to marry and lead a normal sexual life, a newspaper report said Saturday.

The 24-year-old man from the northern state of Uttar Pradesh admitted himself to a New Delhi hospital this week with an extremely rare medical condition called penile duplication or diphallus, the Times of India said.

"Two fully functional penes is unheard of even in medical literature. In the more common form of diphallus, one organ is rudimentary," the newspaper quoted a surgeon as saying.

I'll just leave it as it is. There isn't a lot more I can add to that story to make it even more freaky. It's like something you'd see in a movie, who has that? 24 years old and he's just now wanting to do something about it? Be in porn or something. A circus sideshow? You're a freak of nature, I'm sure you could make some kind of money having two at once, as mangled as they probably look. What throws me off is that it says "two fully functional". Yep, I'm think the same questions everyone else is, but I'll keep that to myself right now.

Wednesday was a fishing trip with Spank. I start the festivities by picking him up on the West Side at 7:30 AM. We go to Quiet Dell to get minnows, but they were out. We had to wait till 9:30 till the minnow dude came, so we went to the Nutter Fort McDonald's to kill time. Easily one of the worst all time breakfasts I've had in my life. We both took about two bites of our stuff and rolled out. Bad times. But we go back, get our minnows, and head to Stonewall Jackson Lake to set up shop. We finally start fishing at 11:00. We were there for 6 hours, getting out of there at 5:00. We walked a half mile down this trail with our hands full with poles, coolers, chairs, and whatever else we needed.

I figured it had to be a good fishing trip if I brought along some chew. It adds to the whole WV redneck thing. I never got into snuff, but chew I don't mind. I haven't tried it in about 6 or 7 years though, so I was due out of boredom. Red Man Golden Blend. Good times right there. I won't do it hardly ever though since I like my teeth to be pimped out, so I bust it out on the rare occassions. I forgot how dizzy that stuff gets me, it was like I was buzzing from a drink or something if I ever knew how that felt. I always prided myself on the straight edge stuff. Not the punk rock and whole deal, but with drugs and alcohol anyways. I never drink and haven't ever used an illegal drug in my life (weed, pills, etc). Never been drunk, I didn't even drink on my 21st birthday way back when. It's just not for me. Believe what you want on that stuff.

Oh yeah, fishing. I got sidetracked. I didn't get a bite all day at Stonewall, it was rough. Spank got two nice catfish though and we got pics of those. Overall, at Stonewall, it was an uneventful day as far as getting bites go. We go to Weston to eat on the way home. Weston surprised both of us. Been a while since I've been there, but it's no joke for a small town. They got a bunch of things there for that little place. But you can't go wrong with a fishing trip just to be idiots all day and get out of town. We then come home to the East Side and go to Anderson's Pond. We got more action at the pond in one hour than we did all day at Stonewall. We caught some nice bass there.

Thursday night for ball was the worst night ever. That's always our ball night at The Lighthouse. Guess how many people we got this week? 4. Yep, that's it. We called everyone we could think of to play and still nothing. It got to the point we were calling up little high school kids to come and play, but even they had stuff going on. So if you're a local baller and reading this, we need you to show up next week to get some ball in. My town is a pile of garbage for people being lazy bums. You can't get off your couch for 2 hours to play some ball? Ridiculous. I'm not calling anyone out in particular. I'll call out the whole town. Show up to play some ball, get some exercise in ya, it won't hurt, I promise. Weird how we had like 20 guys a few months ago in there and now everyone is missing in action.

Friday night it was video game action at my boy Posey's. We played NCAA 2007 on PS2 and Madden 2007 on GameCube there. Spank owned us as he straight messes cats up in those games. I'm able to hang in Madden though, but I've never seen anyone better in NCAA than he is. We played from 7:00-12:00 and you can't go wrong with that. Nolan stopped up to see the madness, but didn't play. The only downfall to the night? Posey's dog does not shut up. Me and Spank were ready to give it the Chickenwing and make it tap out. But the video game extravaganza overrides that. Also, Posey introduced us to some new chips that I haven't tried. Maybe you have, but if not, check out Lay's KC Masterpiece Hot 'n Spicy chips or Fiery Habenero Doritos.

Saturday rolls around and it's the annual Wallace Invitational Softball Game. This is Cork's reunion crew and I've been going for the past 5 years or so probably. A great time and the night always ends with some good home cooking. My team ended up getting beat, but it was fun nonetheless. I didn't have the game I wanted to play, but I still did ok. My batting was rough today, but I went 2-4. My outs were a line drive shot straight to the pitcher and another I hit to the second baseman and he gunned me. My hits were an infield hit that I legged out Ichiro style and one to the leftfield gap. I just couldn't get anything up in the air too deep though. I played left/center in the field as I like to run around with the speed and try to make some nice plays. I didn't get a chance to dive or anything today, but still always hold my own in the field.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week:

3 Quick Thangs:

1. To the gum fans out there.. and I'm sure I've posted this sometime over the years.. but does it get much better than Bubble Tape? Of course not.

2. Birthdays for Sunday, August 27th you want? That's what I'll give you. Pee-Wee Herman goes for 54. Downtown Julie Brown is 45. Jim Thome hits 36. That's not much of a list, but that's all the staff deems worthy. Monday though, my Dad becomes another year older. Yep, Dude turns 57, he's getting up there. Props to him on that one.

3. I'm back on the Ramen noodles kick. Quick and easy eating.

1 comment:

Kristie said...

Nice posting Ed. Very busy for the week before school. You always
make me laugh reading bout you and "the boys".