Vegas, Idol, & Meaty Munchies

I have pressure on me for this blog to get it out by Friday. I lied, I guess the last one wasn't the final post of January. How about a 4 day turnaround since the last post? That's not too shabby and here's why: As I said, there was pressure for me to get a blog in, if I don't, word has it that MrsAnswer will send her Vegas posse out here to club me upside the head and put me down for the count. Also, the reason is that it's her birthday, so I better stay on her good side with this one before she breaks bad. Happy Birthday Jamie, have a good one out there rockin' it out! Take care of my boy Answer out there and maybe for one day, you can pretend to be a Ric Flair fan, just admit it. :) That's right, I gotta keep the loyal readers happy, that's what we do around here. It's time to get on with the blog..



We're back for this week's Idol recap. Like it or not, you're getting it on a regular basis. Tuesday and we go to Omaha, Nebraska of all places. Chris comes on and is way too happy. He cries for getting the chance and is a Kelly Clarkson freak. He totally bombs. He then offers to be at the finale to help announce from the red carpet. Simon tells him to go to his local FOX station and tell them to make them their reporter for Idol, weird. Jason Rich (not JRich of the Charlotte Bobcats) had to try a lot of times due to nerves, but turned out to be good and they pass him through. Paula walks in late after her plane was delayed. More like she was smoking crack, but they tell us the plane excuse. Arm Wrestling Chick makes it through. She challenges everyone outside to arm wrestle and she's won 6 tournaments for whatever that's worth. She then beat crackhead Paula in about 1.3 seconds. Seacrest and Paula switch spots and Ryan comes in to judge. Seacrest is ran after one judge session and Paula is back to put Samantha through, a little hottie and one of the better singers of Day 1.

David Cook gets inspiration from Daughtry. His hair is like a rooster. He hits up some Bon Jovi and nails it. He goes through and is very good. I feel like a dorky judge giving these meaningless opinions, but oh well. Johnny Bananas (not to be confused with the Gauntlet III's version) comes out in a James Brown gold glitter jacket and starts dancing around. He says he might be the strangest person out there, said that himself. Leo comes in from a town of 200 people and some humor. The judges love him and he might be the best from Omaha.



Wednesday night and we're coming from Miami for this Idol session. We go from the middle of nowhere in Omaha to living it up in Miami, what a change. The first person was Shannon, a meat cutter. "And you handle meat?.. that's what it says here."- Simon. She was rough, even though she has singing titles as a kid. She doesn't make it. Robbie, a former boy band guy tries to do rock. He hits up some Skynard and is good. He makes it on. Ghaled, a Venezuelan dude is up and has charisma. They pass him on, but they tell him to try to lose the accent. Two huge chicks (Corliss and Brittany) come out together and one likes skinny dudes and another likes bigger guys. One sings to Randy and one to Simon. I'm not sure if it's a stereotype or not, but it seems the huge chicks over the past few years can sing it. They both make it on easy and have the talent to get it done. A single mom who was pregnant at 18 steps up. She cries that she has it so rough, weird hair, but makes it and goes wild. "She is.. interesting."

Remiele wants to be the first asian Idol winner. I'm on record to say that I'm not big on being attracted to most asian chicks, but the ones that do look good are worthy. This one here is on that list, she's tiny. I think Paula wants her. Syesha has a story of her dad getting out of a drug and alcohol center and is pumped to be on the show. Randy says she's one of the best they've seen on the show this year. It seems that we see the same audition songs every year. Who names their kid Ilsy? What's that? Some chick that was Top 20 of American Juniors (I don't even know of that show) when she was 12 came on. The kid turns out to not be any good and is a typical dumb blonde. They tell her she was acting and she freaks out that they didn't like her. Comedian Brandon comes in and isn't funny. He has this half wannabe gangsta vibe and is creative, but tried to get by on comedy and it didn't work. I'm gonna miss the bum characters in a few weeks when people get put on the chopping block.



So I'm almost done with the Harry Potter saga. I just dusted off Book 6, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. This book was very detailed and set a lot of the major storylines in the past up. My only complaint was the ending was quickly done. They basically end with Harry being all fired up and says he's not going back to school again, blah blah. Also, all book, Harry wanted to get in Ginny's pants. At the end, he tells her that for her safety, they probably should end it. She doesn't want to, so there you have a cliffhanger. Book 7 is in the house now, even if I am behind the rest of the world in reading it. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I've heard a lot of good about this one, so we'll see. I'm still partial to the earlier books, but all have been tremendous. Laugh all you want for the non-believers that don't want to give it a try. I've still yet to see a movie of the series, but the movies are never better than the book.

I'm also in the middle of reading a lot of other things. If I concentrated on one thing, I'd be in business, but I keep the action flowing. Currently I'm reading up on A Lion's Tale by Chris Jericho. I've mentioned that a few weeks ago, but so far, it's an awesome wrestling book. It's filled with wild stories and Jericho is one funny guy in how he tells his life story. Outside of that, I'm always up to date on the latest Wrestling Observer Newsletter, the bible of wrestling and MMA news. I've been saying all along, if you're a wrestling or MMA fan and don't have a subscription, something is definitely wrong, it's that good. Then we have my magazines that I frequent and it's a lot of readage for this fella. Yep, readage sounds good to me, so I'll use it.



What's up in the workout routine as of late? I try to stay active and have something going on as far as that goes. I'm not one of these guys that is going to say how jacked they are, because I'm a little dude. I feel I'm in real good shape, but I'm no beast by any means. Here is how I've been breaking things down over the past few weeks and I hope to keep it as it works fine. Monday, run. Tuesday, workout. Wednesday, play ball. Thursday, workout. Friday, run. Saturday, workout and run. Sunday, play ball. Monday, all over again. I'm also due for another batch of supplements. At the beginning of every month, GNC has the setup for their gold card members where you can save big. Of course, since you read the blog, you know I'm a sucker for bargains and will probably be there loading up this weekend. The items I have marked would be Pro Performance 24-Hour Protein Complex and also a product called Amplified Creatine 189. The protein is in powder form and the creatine in tablets. That's if they don't sell out on the first day, because on Gold Card weeks, stuff goes crazy fast.

Rob & Big update. The show starts with the crew putting Meaty in a pink wig. They go shopping and see this box of cereal with a picture of two older ladies, one black and one white. They think of an idea from that and call the company up. They mention that they'd be perfect for their company's ads. They're out with Meaty and he attracts the chicks. Maybe I should get a dog and try that trick. They go to Le Paws, a dog talent agency. They see an animal trainer there and she asks if they've done anything with him. They say they haven't even got him to sit. They say to come back when he gets some discipline. They tell him he might be able to do some dog food ads. They get Meaty hooked up with Natural Balance and get some pics taken. He's on the cover of a tube called Meaty Munchies. Big tries some of the meat and says it tastes like jerky. In a random note, I tried Pupperoni back in the day at Spank's and it was pretty rough, even though it smelled and looked good. Worth a try though. Next week they try to figure out world records to break and also bust out more net gun action.



An update on the 2008 Lobstah Celebrity Deathpool? Through the first month of the year, nobody has earned any points. I guess that's good since none of the celebs picked in our group have died yet. In a demented way, for some, it's also bad since they haven't died either. See how this is a lose/lose situation? Or is it a win/win? My lock of the year, wrestling manager Bobby "The Brain" Heenan is going through multiple surgeries. He's still in the hospital and will be for quite some time. Nobody had Heath Ledger if anyone wondered, he would've been worth 72 points. Messed up, I know, but I'm sure someone out there was thinking if anyone had him. I'll update this periodically.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: I couldn't find this chick's main link, so I'm going with the long version. It should still work: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=3030726

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: This comes from our video producer of the blog, Kasher. He's back with another find: http://youtube.com/watch?v=cUEkOVdUjHc



3 Quick Thangs:

1. It's happy happy time! Let's try some birthdays for Friday, February 1st. We start off with two what ifs. What if Boris Yeltzin and Rick James were still alive? I'm here to answer that. Yeltzin would be 77, while "I'm Rick James, bitch!" would've been 60. Now to people that are actually breathing. Lisa Marie Presley, daughter of Elvis of course, 40. Then we get what started the reason for today's blog, Happy Birthday MrsAnswer! Outside of that, there's basically nothing going on for famous birthdays. I could dig way deep and find some bum level celebs, but they don't count around here.

2. Want a website to try? It doesn't look like much, but it's kind of addicting for something quick. For each word you get right, you donate 20 grains of rice to help out hunger. No clue if it's legit or not, but check it out. Highly recommended from Jas, so she gets credit for the mention: http://www.freerice.com

3. Want today's fact? We're going with animal insight to give ya some education. An octopus has 3 hearts and can squeeze through a hole the size of a dime. Hapalochlaena species can inject enough venom in one bite to kill several adult humans.

Are You Tough Enough??

We're back for what will be the last post of January. It's 34 degrees right now as I type this, a big heat wave from the weather we got here last week. I'm a cold weather guy for sure, one of those weirdos, but I realize 34 is still way cold for most. With that in mind, get a big heaping cup of hot chocolate, stay in the house all day, and check out the latest from the world of my blog. In this one we get some good stories from this weekend's Toughman Contest, Idol, Rob & Big, a guaranteed way to clear your sinuses, movie reviews, and who knows what else.



Are you tough enough?? Yep, that's the famous question in my area around this time of year. Friday night I hit up the 29th annual North Central WV Toughman Contest. If you're in the area and have never been, you are truly missing out on a crazy, yet fun experience. You get your money's worth and then some when you hit up this action. Along for the ride on this trip is my boy Spank and we had real nice seats. Our seats were on the stage, so we were away from the crowds where people were sitting on top of each other and dripping sweat all night. In my opinion, Friday night is where it's at. That's when you get a lot of mismatches and guys who frankly have no business inside a boxing ring. The event started at 7:30 and we got out of there around midnight. I'm guessing there were at least 40 different fights. In a note, this is not a place you want to take your chick to because that's an easy fight starter.

Now to set the tone, especially for the ones reading outside of WV. Most of the time, we try to stay away from the typical WV stereotype, but this building brings it back in time. 80% of the place, if not more, was total white trash. Mix that in with serving alcohol and it's an absolute madhouse, a la The Madhouse of Bird33 you are reading. Anyways, 10 minutes into being there, I already had beer spilled on me, but that's part of the game. A lot of fun is in the crowd itself, you get just as much going on there as you do inside the ring. Take this example for one. I was one row behind the best crowd fight of the night. These two drunken chicks who were obliterated were part of the festivities. One claimed the other stole her scarf. Weird already, right? The next thing I know, right in front of me, this chick picks up her chair, slams it down, kicks another down and then slams down another. It was on! The entire place turns to our section and is going nutty. Then the chicks started duking it out, the fighters run over to watch and then security finally breaks it up. You'd think the chicks would be immediately thrown out of the building. Come on, this is WV, think again. The security guy let them stay in the same area the rest of the night, they were 2 seats away from each other. And you think I'm kidding you.



Another interesting thing was the girl selection of the night. I'm talking absolutely brutal. I saw just a few girls in the entire place that I thought actually looked good. The rest were tatted up drunks who were making fools of themselves. I'll pass those off to someone else. But, the ring girls had to be very hot, right? Guess again. The theme with that each year is that at a local bar, they get all the local dirties to get in the contest. They narrow it down to four for the weekend show. Out of those four, one was smokin' hot, just not even on the level of girls in my area. The other three, it looked like they got into the ring for 12 rounds, and that's as nice as I can be on those. We had this one chick who was probably 6'0"/110 maybe, crazy anorexic looking and with the worst ass I've maybe ever seen. Well, not sure how I can judge it since it was flat as a board. The story with her is that she took her top off at the bar competition to make it to the Final Four. She should keep it on. Then we had another chick that Spank called Peg Leg. How so? As far as dirty stripper looking girls, the worst dancer I've seen. She'd come out for her round card duties and do the same thing all night long. What she would do is kinda bounce on her legs and not really bend, with her legs being straight. Then Spank wondered if these girls' parents were in the crowd tonight, hah. Where else can you get the truth told to you about the Toughman Contest? Forget the local paper's writeup, you get the fans view here.

The fight part of the night though, good stuff. Of course you had your bums who would get in, some of them half drunk. Those guys got rocked. The cardio shape most of these guys were in, embarrassing. I guess I have to give them credit for having the balls to get out there though, that's something. Our seats were right next to the area where the boxers were at between fights. We would get some good stories and knew some of the fighters, so they'd fill us in on anything going down. One of my favorite things of the fight section was the second fight of the night. It reminded me of wrestling in that the guy gets popped in the face, and then bounces off the ropes. As he bounces back, his opponent at full force just destroys him into what looked like a near coma, out. There were probably a good ten fights where the guy was getting beat down so bad that he tapped out and quit. Once that happens, the redneck crowd hounds them big time with boos and cusses him like a dog. Last through what you can, you can't tap in a toughman, get with it. Another interesting thing is the kiddies that just turned 18 and think they can whip the world. You all remember them in high school. So they get this bright idea to enter the contest. In most cases, it's pure punishment they receive from older veteran fighters. They bring their posse to cheer in the crowd and then end up walking out with their head down, facing reality.



I know a lot reading this aren't big Idol fans. I guess you'll just have to deal and read through my thoughts for the next few months. I make it interesting enough that I keep the updates coming. Tuesday night's show was the San Diego crew. Tatiana is way hot and is the first to advance. Simon says she's obnoxious, but good. Then we get a single father named Perrie. He's 27 and his wife was shot down a few years ago. He rocked out Boyz II Men and was the best of Tuesday night in my opinion. Then we get an Aussie named Michael who does some Otis Redding. Simon says he's like a white soul singer and advances him. Valerie is this 20-year old Mariah Carey freak and she makes fun of past years' bums. She claims she won't be one as well, but she turned out to be a mess. "The only resemblance to Mariah Carey is if you left her CD out in the sun for one year and played it."- Simon. Monique butchers Whitney Houston and keeps trying to sing different songs. She breaks down crying. Her buddy, Chris, who works with her, he's also horrible and tries to keep singing. Samantha is this hottie that comes in with her sis. They both are obsessed with Simon and tell him he's really hot. Simon invites the sis to come vote with them and she sits on his lap. The judges were impressed with the Samantha girl and both sisters hug Simon.

Day 2 of San Diego and we start it off with a recurring character. In Season 5, he was the Statue of Liberty Guy. He's auditioned in 10 cities and fails yet again. Alberto is this weird shy guy and wants to feel free. He makes his own song and you can barely hear him. Simon says it's probably the most depressing song he's ever heard. David is this 16-year old kid who had a paralyzed vocal cord a few years ago. He says he's recovered and the judges end up loving him. Irish Carly on Season 5 was disqualified after they voted her through due to not renewing her visa. She has an arm sleeve tat (I'm not a big tat fan, but something about arm sleeve tats make a chick look mean and not to be messed with) and her man has his entire face tatted up. She gets 3 yes votes and is off to Hollywood.



South Carolina is Night 2. Rashard with a big fro and he says they call him the Black Clay Aiken. He doesn't make it. Deanna from Kellie Pickler's town. She didn't make it either. Crystal and Randy (a bum, not Jackson) met on an Idol message board and come to audition together. They do a song together and it's rough. Michelle and Jeffery, an over the top sis/bro duo. Both advance, the bro is real good. Cheerleader chick talks about abstinence. Simon says people are going to find her very annoying. "I think you have mad potential. Mad potential!"- Randy.

Day 2 of SC. Lyndsey, an Air Force pilot starts out this group. Aretha (named after Aretha Franklin) says she stops crowds with her singing. Simon says she murdered the song and the crowds disappear. Judges all didn't like it, but I thought she did fine. Josh puts way too much yelling and screaming in his song and it's a mess. He says the show is fake and rigged. Oliver was to audition one day, but his wife had to go into labor as he was in line. He got another chance and comes in with the chick and baby. I thought he was great, but I guess that's why I'm not a judge because they all told him no. Go figure.



Rob & Big this week, very good. Much better than Week 2. This week's theme was the mini horse competition. They want to bring flare to it by getting outfits and the whole nine yards. Mini is out after they sent him to boarding school, but his behavior is worse since he's been back. "Ain't nobody riding to the mini horse show with their mini in the back seat!"- Rob. They then start up a 400-mile excursion to get to this show. Rob pays some random chick $100 to watch Mini and Meaty (the dog) while they go off to ride dune buggies for a bit. After that, they each hit up a couples mud bath out of nowhere and act like kids. Seriously, these guys get paid to hang out and do absolutely nothing. A pro horse person said their horse was ghetto and needed its hair fixed to be allowed in the competition. They get cowboy outfits with rhinestones. Mini didn't want to run as much in the middle, but they still say he's #1. They end up getting an 8th Place ribbon for Mini G as they were calling him. Thumbs up to the episode, it's worth checking out on the website if you didn't see on TV. Next week, they try to get Meaty in some ads.

Anyone out there have really bad sinuses? I have the solution for you. This was a recommendation from my Aunt Susie, so I figured I'd give it a try. It couldn't hurt, that's for sure. The product is called the NetiPot. It basically looks like a little flower pot, except you fill it up with warm water and these salt packets. It's a strange concept because you put it up one side of your nose and it drains out the other. I'm telling you though, it opens you up immediately and is easy to use. Don't knock it till you try it because now I'm hooked and you'll be the same once you give it a try: http://netipot.org



It's time to gripe about something. You know what makes me livid? It's these geeks who have their phone or mp3 players attached to their ears. I don't get it. You know what I mean, the ones that clip onto their ear. You see people in the mall with them on, in their cars, etc. I know it's hands free and all, but come on. Basically, that is saying to the rest of the people looking at them, "Hey, look at me! I'm starving for attention!" Maybe I don't get the purpose and they are actually worth having, but these people look like fools out there. I can't be the only person who thinks that way.

Saturday night, it was movie time in Morgantown. Rambo! If you're a fan of the old Rambo movies, you're going to like this. I enjoyed it a lot, even if the acting and storyline weren't detailed. Going in, you know exactly what you're going to get though. Pure action, killing nonstop, and total violence. I'm going to rate this movie a 7.25, go check it out. In attendance for the movie was Cork, Spank, and myself. After that, we hit up IHOP with the same trio as well as Cork's girl Kristin. I tried a new combo they have and it rocks. Strawberry Banana French Toast Triangles. I'm talking excellent.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: Props for this one goes to my girl Jas in Arizona. Also, Answer said last week's ho wasn't worthy enough since she was from Australia, who knows. Hopefully this one is dirty enough: http://www.myspace.com/jassy17. I see now she has it private though and it does he no justice, but she did have some trashy pics up earlier in the week before it went private, doh. Here's an other just to double up: http://www.myspace.com/reddiray305

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: This is a video courtesy of Duce that was posted in Lobstah, our world famous message board. Kasher says it has to be staged and I figure he's probably right, but it's worth seeing for the short clip: http://youtube.com/watch?v=BzjLlqIuVhI




3 Quick Thangs:

1. Let's try some birthdays for Monday, January 28th. We have some garbage in this one. None of these are even close to big time stars, but we'll go through it anyways. Singer Sarah McLachlan, 40. See, I told you that it's gonna be a rough one. Mo Rocca, some guy who thinks he's funny and is on all of those VH1 shows, 39. Singer Brad Paisley, 36. Actor Joaquin Phoenix, he's doing it for his 34th. Who names their kid Joaquin? Former Celtic Tony Delk, he's also 34. I only put him in here since I met him before, no biggie. American Idol fro boy, Justin Guarini, 30. Backstreet Boy Nick Carter, 28. And last, we have Elijah Wood, actor that is now 27.

2. On Friday night/Saturday morning, I went to bed at 11:30 AM. Yep, I know. All week before I had been going to bed at a normal time for myself and then I pull that off. Oh well, I'll rock it out and continue doing my thing.

3. Random fact from The_Freak: AJ's Steakhouse in Grinnell, Iowa sells a 205 ounce sirloin called the Big Kahuna.

The Ron Jeremy Clause

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Jamie Is Awesome?

I like to have people pick my blog titles from time to time. Today's title is from MrsAnswer herself, Jamie in Vegas. How so?

Me: (1:59:09 AM): Almost time for a new blog to be put up. Any idea for a title I could use?
MrsAnswer: (1:59:34 AM): jamie is awesome?
Me: (2:00:02 AM): That's what I'll roll with then.



I guess with her question mark there, she's not sure how awesome she even is. But as usual, we give the readers what they want around here, everyone is a part of the action.

You know what isn't too shabby? That it's 2008 and we're still going strong in here. It's not for a while, but once May rolls around, that's 4 years we've been hanging out in this spot. Who would've guessed that? I don't have any resolutions or anything crazy like that. I'm sure I could think of something just to say it, but that's what everyone else does. "I'm gonna start working out, I'm gonna stop smoking, I'm gonna watch my diet, I'm gonna try to treat people nicer." Uh.. no you're not buddy. We can see right though that. And no, I'm in a great mood, just saying what I think on most people's resolutions. Sure, you'll get the diamond in the rough who may do those things, but in general, they usually fail miserably.



Speaking of New Years, you're probably wondering how rowdy I got that night. You're expecting some drunken fest to just shock everyone, but no go on that. Sorry to let the troops down. It's funny because most of the past week, me and my crew had something going on every night it seemed. Whether it was playing ball, video games, going to a movie, watching NBA, or whatever. Then that night comes around and we didn't plan a single thing, go figure. So that night was spent at home, I'll call it a relax night and I didn't complain one bit. I ate Chinese (pineapple chicken, pork fried rice and sweet donuts) and flipped between BET and MTV's celebrations. Too much excitement I tell ya, not sure how I handle it all. It's not like my buddies did anything either that night, they were bums too, guess we're getting old.

Since we're talking about 2008, we're going to go down the road of darkness. I realize it's a sick thing to do, but me and my buddies still participate regardless, it's competition, why not? Yep, that would be the infamous Lobstah Celebrity Deathpool! This is ran by Commish Kasher and it's actually interesting. For the newbies to the blog, I'll break it down quick for you. Each year on December 31st, we turn in 10 celebrities who we "think" will die in the upcoming year. Yeah, that's pretty ruthless, you don't have to tell me that, but you can't say it's not at least intriguing. How do you score points? You take their age they die at and subtract it from 100. For example, if you have someone that is 53 when they die, you get a whopping 47 points. As an added twist, you get to distinguish one person as your "lock" pick. If that person dies, and mine did last year, you get double the points. What does my roster look like for 2008?



Barbara Billingsley (Mom on Leave It To Beaver)
Jimmy Carter (Former US President)
Bob Feller (Hall of Fame MLB pitcher)
Zsa Zsa Gabor (Actress)
Bobby “The Brain” Heenan *LOCK* (Wrestling manager)
Charlton Heston (Actor & NRA guy)
BB King (Blues guitarist)
Scott Hall (Wrestler; a.k.a. Razor Ramon)
Raven (Wrestler)
Nancy Reagan (Former First Lady)

I used a good bit of those last year, so I'll try some again. I had Lady Bird Johnson die last year as my lock. This year, my lock is currently in a coma (the bad one), but he's gotten out of some big time surgeries and things of the like in the past. Heenan is one of the all time greats, tough to see him go down this path. I only have two people of my 10 that are under 63 years old. Again, it's sick and demented, but you'd be surprised how many people do these things. That and it already has your attention and you want in for 2009.

It's been a while since I've had any Harry Potter updates. I believe it's time for another. The last time I mentioned, I was on Book 5: Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix. With work and me reading other things at the same time, this was a longer read and it was a big book. It is finished up though and was awesome. I've heard from a few people say that this book wasn't as good as the others, but I must have a different opinion on that. As far as detail and setting things up, this one had a lot more going for it I thought. The only complaint I had on this book was that the battle between Dumbledore and Lord Voldemort was too quick as far as pages dedicated to it. In this one, Harry finds out many answers he's been wondering about over the last five years. Now I'm started on Book 6: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Yep, I'm a dork, but it's time to get pumped up. People who have already read these know what I'm talking about.



You want a different topic? Ok, we'll talk about commercials. I'm sure you'll know the commercial I'm talking about since it's on every 2.3 seconds. You know the Kiafest commercial where the dude is dancing around like a fool to the maniac song? It's pretty cheezy, but I get a kick out of watching my Dad see the commercial. He sees it and refuses to have it on. He'll start lighting that bum up with f-bombs and going off on it like it ruins his day or something, good times. We need a YouTube of that. But we do have the clip of the actual commercial: http://youtube.com/watch?v=O1-mU04rPTU

Here's a topic bound to garner up some response. When do you take a shower? Uh oh, what direction am I going with this? I usually get mine late in the evening or at night. Sometimes I'll get a few in a day, I'm probably a bit of a clean freak when it comes to that, but I hate feeling dirty. But as the moral always goes, I can always clean my dirty self off, while our weekly Dirty Thug Ho is a different kind of dirty. Anyways, to the people that shower way early in the morning, do you not shower when you get home from work or wherever? Probably not and then you just go to bed dirty? I never understood that one, who wants to lay in a dirty bed? Hopefully you get a few showers a day. And on top of that, I talk to a lot of people who don't change their bed sheets often at all. What?? You serious with me on that? I feel bad just changing my bed once a week and some people go crazy long periods without changing it. So you lay around at work all day, sweat yourself to death, come home, lay on the couches and then jump into your bed all greasy. Well, better you than me. Just another one of my tangents I like going on, telling things how they are, but doing it in my normal laid back style.



It's time yet again for another Real World report. We're getting to the end of the season almost, it's flying by. Noirin is getting serious with Isaac and is trying to convince him to go on a long cruise with her. Isaac tells the house that he has two kids and they wonder if he's telling the truth or not. He tells a lot of wild stories, so they're not sure what to think. Alex come to hang on his birthday. The last they saw of him he was in the middle of the Parisa and Trish love triangle. Parisa and Ashli let the cat out of the bag with telling Noirin that Isaac has kids. Isaac tells the girls he doesn't to talk to them the rest of the night after they said that. Alex and Parisa get all over each other in the hot tub. Isaac ends up telling Noirin that the kid thing was a prank and she was all relieved. Isaac is one weird dude, but he's entertaining at least. The finale is in 2 weeks?

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: http://www.myspace.com/nataliasingermav

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: This one comes courtesy of Dom, big props for this. I'm not sure how many blog readers will appreciate it, but I do, it's the latest Ice Cube video. This thing is pretty controversial and this is what rap is all about. Taking us back, Cube doesn't change his style for anyone and goes at it. Here it is, Gangsta Rap Made Me Do It: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzeZhCt5PVA



3 Quick Thangs:

1. Mondays can be dreadful, but we're gonna bring light on the subject. Birthdays for Monday, January 7th: We'll start things off with a C-list celeb, the bearded wonder, Kenny Loggins. He's 59 on Monday. Since we're on the singing path, John Cougar Mellencamp, 56. Actor David Caruso, he's hitting 51. News chick Katie Couric, she is doing it for the Big 5-0. American Idol judge Simon Cowell (and it starts in a few weeks!), 48. Hockey tough guy Donald Brashear, he's punching up heads to the tune of 35 years old. Actress Rachel McAdams, 31. Screech of Saved By The Bell fame, he's now at 30 and probably just as famous for his porn that is out there (as he's with a group of chicks) just as much as his show. You know you've all seen it online, don't lie. Golfing hottie Natalie Gulbis, she's 24. If you don't know her, check out some of her pics, real nice.

2. Chocolate syrup. I made a late night ice cream snack a bit ago. 6 scoops of vanilla, chocolate syrup, and some peanut butter thrown in. I may be little, but I can put away some junk food with the best of them. Anyways, let's shift back to chocolate syrup. When you get out the bottle of chocolate syrup and pour it on whatever, how can ya not be a pig about it and turn the bottle up and drink some of it first? You're not touching the bottle with your mouth at all, but do this in front of a bunch of people and they think it's the most disgusting thing ever. I'd say at least half of ya reading have done that before, it's a must every time I use it just because.

3. This Tuesday, you all need to gear up. How so? It's Season 3 of Rob & Big on MTV, 10:30 PM EST. If you've never watched, you've been in a cave, you're missing out. Also, props to everyone for wishing me a birthday for today and all of that, much appreciated. And if I must say so myself, I think that was a pretty good blog effort. I hope you enjoyed, see ya in a week or so!

"Get Your Ass To The Gun!"

I'll be the first to say that my last effort wasn't one to be remembered. Sure, it had the basics, but nothing jumped out in your face to grab the attention. That's going to change in this one as I have a lot of things to talk about. With 2007 winding down, I could do a Best Of type post and give a recap, maybe hitting up some of the stories of the year, best dirties we found, videos, etc, but nah. I'm going to ramble on like I usually do. In this last post of 2007, we're going to hit up topics such of Christmas of course, the Christmas Eve happenings the night before, several movie reviews, a lot of new CDs, Japanese trip with the crew, and MUCH more. We're not about to let the end of the year stop us, we have a big one in the works, a royal flush if you will.



I'll get started with Christmas Eve. At our house, it's always the setting for the family to get our eats on and just have an overall good time. We packed the house in and that always is a cause for some rowdiness. In attendance for those taking notes? Me, Dad, Mom, Spank, Cork, Aunt Linda, Uncle Jeff, Aunt Susie, Uncle Bill, Cousin Ozzie, Maria, Cousin Kari, Matty Cakes, Cousin Angie, Will, Cousin Jill, Gayle, Big Ashton, Ashley, Uncle Butch, Jimmy, Rick, Linda, another Rick, Steph, and I think that may be it. Can I take a breath now? That's pretty good off of memory, so hopefully I got everyone in there. The tone is set, so how did the night go?

There is too much food to mention, so I won't go there in depth. As usual though, it was top notch, can't ever go wrong with homemade Italian action. My favorite things if I had to pick? Sausage and peppers, ziti and meatballs, or two creations of my Aunt Linda's, fettuccini and some amazing cheesecake. TV of the night was switched between watching the brutal Broncos/Chargers NFL game and of course A Christmas Story featuring none other than Ralphie. Then the drinks started flowing, so you're all wondering, who won "The Award", a recurring theme with either a road trip or hanging out with the family. Props always go to Gayle for creating that name. Readers of the blog know of past happening with this fun event.



Basically, the deal is whoever ends up as making the biggest scene gets "The Award". This year, we had a tight battle going on between former winner Kari and Angie. They were going neck and neck. If either are reading, I'm not going to embarrass anyone, don't worry, hah. Angie wanted to set the dance scene on the proper note. She had this bright idea for me to put Rappers Delight in to jam to for some old school feel. As they were bouncing around and everyone was taking pics and whatnot, I thought either the Christmas tree or the shelves in that room were going to come tumbling over, but they managed to stay up. Dad was like, "Just let em fall! It can't hurt that room!"

After a while, I could tell it was gonna be a rough night for the girls. Then I see Big Ashton running around and I knew Angie and Will were hanging outside. I didn't think anything of it. Ashton, who is about 2½ or so, busts out this classic, "Angie pruked!" That's kid speak for puke, he's a funny one to be around. Normally kids that age are screaming and whining 24/7 and I can't handle that stuff, but Ashton is like a "little human" (inside family joke there). That usually is cause for "The Award" to to be given, so I guess I'll give Ashton the assist on this one. Angie takes the title and is the current champ. We need to start making trophies or something, well done for sure.



So we move onto Christmas Day itself. I don't care how old I am, it still never gets old to get pumped up for the big day. This year, there wasn't one big thing I was after, but loaded up on some good items. For the first time in a while, I didn't get a crazy amount of Celtics stuff. I think by this time I have so much that it's tough to shop for that. The theme this year was Notre Dame gear. I gotta support em, even after the roughest season they've ever been through. They also have a longer winning streak than each of the current teams playing for the National Title, so that's always good times. Video game wise, I went for Contra 4 on DS. One awesome game. If you're into Contra of old, you'd dig this for sure. It's way hard, believe it or not, but it's a near perfect game. Other than that, I could name a lot of clothes, books, movie DVDs, gift certificates and that type of thing, but I won't. A random good get was a funnel cake kit. My crew that hangs with me knows I'm a huge fan of funnel cakes. A's, a restaurant in Shinnston (the best pizza and hoagies anywhere on the planet) would have regular orders of funnel cakes in just for me. How's that for some service? Can't beat it with a stick.

The traditional Christmas Night movie. The crew for this bonanza would be Cork, Cork's chick Kristen, Spank, and myself. We went to a 9:45 showing and for some reason, it wasn't packed at all. Maybe because no big time movies were out, but I couldn't figure this one. Last year it was jammed packed for Rocky, but only about 15 in the theater we hit up. Me and Spank were really wanting to see The Great Debaters starring Denzel, but since my area is a bunch of whitey redneck racists, we don't get that movie, imagine that. That fires me up, but I can't win that argument around here, so no point of getting worked up. If Denzel is in it, it has to be a good movie in my opinion. Name a bad one he's been in. What we decided to roll with was Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story. This isn't a movie to take the family to by any means, but it's downright hilarious. If you like crude comedy that'll have ya laughing the entire time, hit this bad boy up. My score for this one? 7.6 out of 10.



A DVD pickup to mention now that I'm on the topic of movies. My favorite type of movies have to be the over the top comedies with not much seriousness to it. This one falls into line and I'm not sure why I didn't go see this in theaters. SuperBad. For those who are behind in their movie watching, it's one of the funnier movies I've seen in a while. Like with Walk Hard, this isn't a family movie. It's rude and crude, but that's what makes a funny movie like this anyways, right? The plotline has you following along as well and keeping with it. You have these two high school seniors who are ready to move away to college the following year. Their goal, and the movie takes place late in the school year, is to each hook up with some chick on the way out. A lot comes in their way of this adventure that is worth seeing. If you're not a fan of the McLovin character by the time you see this, I'll be surprised.

Let's fast forward to Saturday night. Yep, we're due for another Japanese trip. The setting as usual, Shogun. Me and Kari (great grammar again) were talking on Christmas Eve how we needed to round up the troops to get another eating festival going. I'm always in for the crew going out to eat, we need to do it more often. Kari brought about a quote that we've been using all week to get them to hit up Japanese, "Get your ass to The Gun!" It can't be said any simpler than that, straight and to the point. There was a whopping 12 of us on this trip, 4 couples and 4 singles. Who was involved? The Fortneys, Kari and Matty Cakes, Ozzie and Maria, Swiger and his wifey, Spank, Sponge, Sweet Pea, and myself. This was probably the most I've ate up there in a while. Usually Fortney and Spank can't wait to eat there with me since I end up giving a lot of my food away, but not this trip. I turned into a fat boy and tore that stuff up. I ordered my usual, filet (medium rare of course) and scallops as the main meal and then you get the traditional soup, ginger salad, and some noodles. I stand by that you can't get a better piece of steak than here. If you order a filet at a rich boy restaurant, you're paying an arm and a leg. The prices here are real good for what you get in my opinion.



It's time to branch off the Japanese trip and give an interesting tale. First off, a quick plug, if you're out on the road and need a sports score, what do you do? Well, you can call a buddy, listen to sports radio until you hear the score, or get online with your phone, something I know absolutely nothing about. The locals know this as it's a big hit, but call 1-800-555-TELL. It's a voice activated free phone system that you can get up to date scores on any game going on. Try it out, it's handy. There's other things in there besides sports too, but I haven't tried those things. A quick reminder, sometimes it won't pick up your voice or noises around you can affect what they think you're saying. The best is when Ozzie is trying to call and has to repeat himself a few times. You can see the anger build up with each repeat and then if you're lucky, he'll flip out on that phone number and give some good entertainment. Trust me, if you haven't seen it before, you're missing out.

But oh no, Saturday night's fun isn't quite over yet. After filling myself up with food, me and Spank came home to flip between the Pats/Giants game as well as whatever college bowl game was on. For me, I'm footballed out at this time of the year and have been for a while. It's all you see on SportsCenter and good luck to you finding info on other sports at this time of the season. I realize that most sports fans worship the ground of anything football related, but not me. Sure, I'm a big fan, but it's not nearly the level that basketball or baseball are for me. That takes us to 10:00 and the setting would be the Posey Household, high atop Tank Hill in scenic Shinnston, West Virginia.



For this, it was pay per view night and it was UFC 79: Nemesis. In attendance for this action? Posey, his wife Scherri, Spank, Cork, AJ, Ashley, the Posey kids, and their Taco Bell dog that didn't bark as much as normal and myself. I've become a huge MMA (mixed martial arts) fan and was pumped for this card. I won't bore you too much since most of the MMA fans of my crew I've already talked to, but I'll mention a few tidbits. Two matches were marketed hard for this show. We had Chuck "The Iceman" Liddell going up against Wanderlei "The Axe Murderer" Silva. First off, I was talking with our crew, we need wacky nicknames like that. I don't care what you look like, if you have a nickname of The Axe Murderer, you've arrived. I figured Silva would crush Liddell, but I was proven wrong. Liddell's reach and devastating punch power proved to be enough to win in decision. I still have no clue how Silva stood up through all of that, dude's head is a rock. Then in the main event we had Georges St. Pierre showing Matt Hughes how it's done. GSP may be the baddest 170-pounder out there today. He can do it all. He takes top of the line wrestlers down to the ground and owns them like nothing, he has great stamina, good standing, etc. He had Hughes screaming for the ref to stop the match, total domination.

What's going down with the latest Real World episode? Cohutta hasn't been to the doctor in 10 years, but has to get his ankle checked up on. 10 years, seriously? He thought he broke it, but turns out it was a bad sprain. He doesn't get to go do the Sydney tour with his team, but shows up anyways on crutches to help. KellyAnne doesn't remember any facts on the tour and the tourists call her out on it. She then gets sent home one night for drinking on the job and making a fool of herself. Dunbar and KellyAnne argue in front of their tourist group the next day. Isaac's group dominates the tour battle and they win the trip to Europe.

I haven't given a CD update in a long time. I guess now is as good as any since I got some new ones over the past few days. As it almost normally is, we delve into the rap and R&B realm.



Beanie Sigel: The Solution. Most of these CDs this time around turned out to be quality. Beanie brings the grimey type rap and just tells it like it is. If you're into songs featuring other people, he loads us up with names such as R. Kelly, Puff, Scarface, Jay-Z, Ghostface, Styles P, and Ozzy Osbourne out of nowhere. I put R. Kelly in the Nate Dogg class, if they're on your CD, it's legit.

Birdman: 5 * Stunna. We go 22 tracks strong in this one. You know you're going to get tons of Lil Wayne, Weezy is featured on 7 of these. You also get Fat Joe, Rick Ross, and Young Jeezy just to name a few. As I type this, out of the new batch, this is one of two I haven't listened to yet, so no review will be made. I'm probably a bigger Birdman/Lil Wayne fan than most, but I'm sure it'll deliver, he won't put out junk.

Bow Wow & Omarion: Face Off. The theme on this CD is that both of these guys feel they aren't getting their respect due from the media. They work good together, flows nice. You get Bow Wow trying to do the mean/laid back combo thing with his raps and Omarion bringing the pimpin. Something about Like Mike acting all mean cracks me up, but I think the kid is talented and it weirdly works.

Chingy: Hate It Or Love It. Where's he been hiding at? Chingy is catchy and has charisma to him. I have all of his stuff regardless, but he's too much of a club/mainstream type rapper for my tastes. I still like him, but I won't crown him as king or anything. This, like Birdman's, I've yet to sample all the way though, but I soon will, don't worry. Check My Swag is interesting because he tries to go with the Slick Rick/Snoop Dogg style of rapping.

Jaheim: The Makings Of A Man. We're going for some true R&B right here. A very underrated guy, Jaheim can pimp with the best of them. This thing in one word? Smooth. If you're someone in a cave and listen to R&B and have yet to go with Jaheim, you're missing out.

Scarface: MADE. Words from a legend right here. A rapper that has stayed true to his roots for 20 years now. You want some pure ghetto roughness? Scarface is your man. Great rhymes, they have a meaning, and you know what you're going to get. Excellent CD here. Recommendations? Big Dog Status, Boy Meets Girl, and Git Out My Face.

Styles P: Super Gangster - Extraordinary Gentleman. Yet another solid CD. We're hitting a trend here because this has been a good batch. As with Scarface, you know what you're getting here. Styles doesn't switch it up. He brings that mean gangsta rap style if you're into that. Some songs to check out on this would be Blow Your Mind with Swizz Beatz, Alone In The Street, and U Ain't Ready 4 Me with Beanie Sigel.

Wu Tang Clan: The 8 Diagrams. The Wu is back! If you're a Wu fan, you need to pick this one up. These guys are pushing 40, some of them over that, but they still bring it as only they can. Thumbs up here, it has you wanting more. Some to download? Take It Back, Unpredictable, and Weak Spot.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: http://www.myspace.com/melaniehernandez

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Charlie bit me! http://youtube.com/watch?v=_OBlgSz8sSM

3 Quick Thangs:

1. Let's start the year off right by celebrating the birthdays of Tuesday, January 1st. Rapper Grandmaster Flash will be our oldest that is worthy to make the blog, he's now 49. Model Carol Alt, she's strutting around at 47. Another model, who once made her name on the internet, Cindy Margolis, 42. RIP to Derrick Thomas, former NFL baller of the Chiefs, he would've been 40. Actor Morris Chestnut of Boyz N The Hood fame, 38. American Idol loser Bo Bice, 32. Mine is on next Sunday for my 29th, buy me presents. :)

2. It's time for another free plug into the blog. This one is hyping up some local hot mustard. Mustard is the #1 condiment, I won't argue that one. Anyways, hit up this site and order some of the "Hot Honey Mustard" in the 10 ounce jar. I wouldn't steer ya in the wrong direction, some of the best mustard you'll ever taste. Will, this is the mustard you wanted me to give you the website to, so I'm knocking out two things at once here: http://www.thistledewfarm.com

3. 2008 New Years Resolutions? I don't have any off the top of my head. But I'm glad we're through another year here at the blog, we've been rocking it out. Thanks for reading and telling me whether it's any good or if it's brutal. Either way, it keeps you interested. Here's to having a great 2008!

Santa Bird Strikes Again!

"It's Christmas time in Hollis Queens, Mom's cookin' chicken and collard greens. Rice and stuffing, macaroni and cheese, and Santa put gifts under Christmas trees." Yep, I had to revert to some classic Run DMC there for those who know that one. I realize I'm due for a post, no excuses, but since it's the Christmas season, we'll whip up some goodies for the readers.



Remember how I said the lack of sleep over the past few weeks would get me? Well, it finally did. Last week I was getting the sore throat and sinus headaches. Friday I get home from work and headed straight to the doctor. I go in and the doctor is doing all of his checks. He says my sinuses are mangled and all of that. Then he asks if I've ever done steroids before. I look at him all weird and am like, "Hmm... no?" Then he started laughing a bit and said he should've just asked me if I've taken the dose pack medicine deals that he calls roids. I was thinking for a bit, I didn't figure he'd think this little 155lb guy was a roider. Anyways, I was able to catch up on my sleep. Here's a good one, on Friday night, I went to bed at 10:30 PM (whoa) and wake up the next day at 1:00 PM. 14½ hours! That's killing it there, I needed it. Then the next night, I went to bed at 8:30, go figure. I never learn.

Saturday comes around and I go to bed that night (day) at 9:00 in the morning. Yeah, back to my weird sleep schedule now that I'm on break for 2 weeks. I wake up at 2 and then on 2 hours of sleep, I go play ball at School Square with Walz and his crew from 8:00-10:00. Then that night, I go to bed at 4:00 (early, I know) and wake up at noon. Off to more ball. That would be from 1:30-3:30 in the rich streets of Bridgeport with Ozzie and his crew. We're getting ball in and usually with enough time to let me know, I'm game for that. After playing on Sunday afternoon, it's time to come home and rest for a bit. That's when it was time for more ball. This round was at The Lighthouse with Sweet Pea setting it up and we played from 8:00-10:00. So that's playing ball 3 times in a 2-day span in 3 different gyms. That's not too bad at all for a guy turning 29 in a few weeks and still has the speed of old to play the run and gun style, I'll take it. Knock on wood, no major injuries over the years from playing ball. Hopefully this means my bum town will get back in action for ball on a regular basis.



It's time for the personal hello time. My boy TheAnswer, who goes way back with the #basketball crew and his chick are in Vegas living it up big. They're now readers to the blog and I gotta send the big hey to Jamie out there in the city of action. They're also in the Christmas card tradition, glad that a lot of you guys already got those.

People ask me what main things I want this year for presents and the like. Eh, nothing big time actually. I can't think of anything that I definitely must have. I guess I'm content with how things are going at the moment. I have a good bit on the list, but it's all video games, DVDs, clothes, and things similar to that line. I'm pumped though, it doesn't get old waking up on Christmas morning and doing the present giving and receiving. I probably have just as much fun passing out gifts to my crew, parents, and whoever else than I do getting them. Between the card tradition that sends worldwide to loading up on gifts for people in my area, it's a fun time to be had for all. Santa Bird is hard at work once again, I can't let the faithful down.

How'd the most recent Real World go? To start, the girls are all pissed at Dunbar for his crazy temper. Dunbar then gets mad at Cohutta and KellyAnne for laying in bed all day and not helping on their job. The deal is whatever team does the best with their job wins a trip to Europe. Ashli says she's finished with Dunbar, but they'll be in bed again together next week probably, go figure. Next week we get the battle of teams to see who can put the best tour of Sydney up and win the trip. Not a great episode this time, but last week's was tough to top in the drama category.



What's on tap for the next week while I'm off school? Christmas Eve, when you're reading this, it's the big bash at my house. That's when we get the family and friends over to hang, get rowdy, eat a bunch, or whatever action goes down. No family members will be embarrassed in the blog no matter what goes down tonight, so don't worry about that if you're reading and are a family member, hah. I try to keep that safe and use the happiness to roll around on. Christmas Day is just chill time. Do the presents, play with new things (like I'm a kid or something still, but I act like it), and watch the NBA tripleheader. That night, I hope it's a trip to the movies with my boys Cork and Spank. There's not much on the table this year for movies opening that day in my opinion, although I want to see The Great Debaters since it's a Denzel movie. You can't go wrong with Denzel movies, he straight up brings it I think and he's one of my favorites. I doubt this one can top what I saw in American Gangster a few months ago, but you never know.

Other than that, the week is wide open. I hope it'll be filled with days of working out, playing ball, video games, and hanging on here. Oh? That's my normal schedule anyways, so scrap that. New Years Plans? I'm sure I'll find something, but nothing at the moment is written into stone. I'm not a party guy, so the bar scene and all of that can be for someone else. That mess doesn't excite me one bit, but I won't preach on that anyways, everyone knows how I am. Not your normal blog that is filled up with tons of stories, but one more laid back and to get us in the mood for big action on Tuesday! Here's to everyone having an awesome Christmas! Be sure to let me know how yours goes.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: http://www.myspace.com/Nettiezarydah

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: This was found on the Boston Sports Guy's site. Whitey suburban kids that made a vid while dunking on a kiddie rim. You'd be lying if you haven't done this before in hopes that one day you'd be able to dunk, but can't even touch rim on a regular hoop: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRxt_lVV-Zk

3 Quick Thangs:

1. Since we're doing the Christmas theme, let's do some of those birthdays. Former NFL QB, Kenny "The Snake" Stabler, he starts us off with being 62. Jimmy Buffett, who I never could understand why he's such an icon, he's now 61. Someone seriously explain that guy to me, I'm missing the boat totally on him. NFL RB Larry Czonka and former American Gladiators host, also 61. Singer Barbara Mandrell, 59. Annie Lennox of Eurythmics fame that looks like a dude, she's doing it for her 53rd. Ricky Henderson, baseball's career leader in stolen bases, and the self proclaimed greatest of all time, 49. Fantasia, American Idol chick, Happy 35th! That'll do it, not a bad list there. Not many superstars there, but still better than most weeks.

2. Our first weird stat? Astronauts aren't allowed to eat beans before going into orbit. Why so? Gas can tear a space suit up.

3. A little fact. It's illegal to hunt camels in Arizona. True story. As usual, I can't make these things up.

"Pelvis Has Left The Building, Baby!"

Another week is in the books and we can smell the Christmas trees in the air. Mine has been up for a few days. Of course, the first ornament that went up was the Larry Bird figurine. That's been a tradition at our house for a good while. He is the Basketball Jesus after all, what other ornament is going to go first? The man did turn 51 on December 7th, so that's worth celebrating for. What do we have on tap for this issue? We're pulling from deep and mixing it up with the usual suspects.



You know what's weird to me? That is the weather in my area. Last week, my town had 8 inches of snow. Nothing out of the ordinary for West Virginia. Then, just on Tuesday, it sprung up to 68 degrees. This isn't September. This is mid-December, the wacky times have begun. Today? Floods all over the place. Now for the upcoming weekend? We have more snow that is supposed to pile up. I can't keep up with things. No wonder I'm getting the sore throat and killer sinus headaches. Half of that is more than likely from no sleep. I think in the past week alone, I've slept over 5½ hours a night only once. Most of those nights were nearing 4, but I never learn.

Kid Nation and we have two weeks to mention. The first, was from December 5th. On this one, Sophia does a good job being town sheriff and the kiddies like how she ran things. The council goes to search and finds a chief in a teepee that gives them advice, nothing too eventful so far. The groups end up winning the weekly award and Sophia has to pick between a town monument that will be there forever or a hot air balloon ride. She goes with the ride for whatever that's worth. Seinfeld flips out because he gets no respect. He cries like a baby at the voting ceremony and then goes back in demanding respect. First, you lost the respect when you went in bawling your eyes out. Man up kid, get with it. Ironically, the other kids didn't think much of his crying and he went stomping out of the voting house. 9-year old Snaggletooth Alex gets the gold star for this episode. Just because Jared is Jared and he's not quite right, he gets the line of the week. Jared and Snaggletooth are walking around the area and they find some cow bones. They're identifying the bones (I guess geniuses do that for fun?) and Jared takes off up the hill saying, "Pelvis has left the building, baby!" If you don't watch the show, that's probably pointless, but if you know how much of a mess Jared is, you'd crack up.



On the finale, it opens up with scenes from the season. The job board goes up into flames and Mike freaks out. The board burns up and also the host burns the journal telling them the town's directions. No more job classes or money. They start raiding the candy shop and say there are no rules. People are stealing and the town goes mad. After the town is destroyed, they clean it up the next day. The last gold star has to be given away early and on the spot. The council gives it to Seinfeld for being a leader from day one. I guess his crying last week like a girl ended up working for him? Doh. Chicken McFatty Pants gets fired up at the yellow team for them not letting her stay one night in their bunk. She flips out and because they want to spend the night with their original crew. The host busts out three stars worth $50,000 each. The have one last challenge and that is to work together in an hour to prepare for a "bonanza" party. They win the reward and their parents come to hang with them to eat. The first $50,000 star goes to Sophia, second to Morgan, and third to Migle. And that's the end of the season, thumbs up from me. Second season?

Real World chatter. We also have two weeks worth of action here as well. For the first, we having Isaac coming back out of nowhere. Earlier in the season, he flipped out when a black cat crossed his path and then started freaking like he was on acid. I say that because he admits he's an acid head, what a piece of work. He's pumped that Trish is out of the house. Everyone but KellyAnne is saying that people didn't like Trish. Isaac dives naked into the fishtank wearing a snorkel and flippers. Dunbar and Ashli finally end up screwing around, like we couldn't see that coming. I think they pick a lot of people in a relationship (Dunbar) and then just watch them combust and hook up with some random dirty. It happens every season and too much in life if you ask me. I'm no expert on relationships, but we need stats for the percentage of people that have cheated before. I bet it's much higher than you're expecting. Would 50% be a bad estimate? And in the end, after I got on that tangent, KellyAnne and Parisa are being buddies again, weird.



The latest has KellyAnne and Cohutta doing their thing. Cohutta's condom busts and they're paranoid that she's pregnant. Ashli tells her mom about sleeping with Dunbar, that's different. Cohutta's grandpa gives him the advice of "Remember what makes a man. It's not how much liquor he can drink. It's not how much ass he can whip. It's how he handles himself in crisis." It made it better that it was in this big hick accent. KellyAnne finds out she got lucky and isn't pregnant now. Towards the end of the show, Dunbar and Ashli are cussing each other and it's all out drama. As Isaac said earlier in the season, if ya sleep with someone in the house, it's going to end all crazy. Does every single person on this show smoke? Ugh. Next week, more drama with Dunbar and Ashli.

What's new in the world of working out and supplements I'm taking? I get on a kick every now and then load up on something new. The Lobstah guys heard this story a few weeks ago, but time to weigh in on something different. The latest stuff I'm taking is called naNO Vapor from MuscleTech. It's a pre-workout mix that gets you jacked up in layman's sense. It's similar to No-Xplode I was on earlier this year. The warnings on this jug are crazy, but I haven't fell over dead yet. A few funny, or not-so-funny things maybe, is that you can't leave the jug open for over 30 seconds and you can't bump it around or it's some kind of hazard. No joke. Who knows. Anyways, after being on it for a few weeks, it's pretty good. It gives you more of a heat sensation and you get a crazy amount of energy to workout on. I put it a notch below No-Xplode, but it still gets a thumbs up from me. Go out and pick it up.



I'm not much of a jewerly dude, but one thing I never could explain was chick rings. What do I mean? I'm sure most people can, but you could show me a few expensive rings and a few not so expensive and I wouldn't be able to tell a whole lot. And then you get to talking about how many carats a ring has and all of that. What's the diffence in ring that costs $200 compared to one that is $4000? Yeah, $3800, but that's not what I mean. Is there really that much of a quality difference. Chicks, help me out here. Then again, I don't have to waste my money on that type of stuff right now anyways, just something that popped into my head.

It may be time for a new car. I have one payment left on my car and will be finished up on that. Now, do I want to just chill for a few months with no car payment or do I want to jump right into something? I'll have to play that out and see what goes down. I've been an old lady Buick fan since they're smooth riders and I can get them decked out inside. I've only had 2 cars over the years, my first when I was 19, the 1979 Buick Electra. Some called that beast The Pimpmobile. 10 miles per gallon, a backseat as big as some living rooms, and a trunk to fit all kinds of dead bodies if need be. That beast was solid and then I finally drove it until the bottom fell out of it, literally. The car I've had since January 2004 is a 2003 Buick Regal. Nothing elegant, but I dig it and it's 3 times better on gas than my old deal. I'll probably change my mind 20 different times, but right now I'm deciding on an all black Jeep Patriot or a black Buick Lucerne, probably a 2007 model on those as I can't see me getting a brand new one. You drive the brand new one off the lot and $10,000 is taken off the top it seems like for what it's worth, so what's the point? Plus I can get good resale on my car now since I'm a neat freak. I also wouldn't want an insane monthly payment, I don't get how some people pay these ridiculous amounts that end up screwing them.

Guilty pleasure time. No, not what you're thinking. I'm moving along to music. 98% of the stuff I listen to is rap and R&B, but I try to branch out a little and give other things a try. This will come off sexist, but I usually can't stand chick singers or a chick being the lead singer. Yeah, there are definitely talented chick singers, I'm not saying that, but it's just not my cup of tea as to what I jam out to. Anyways, a new one I can handle to listen to, not sure about an entire CD, but that would be a group called Paramore. They've been around for a few years. Check out their song Misery Business. Also, something about the chick Hayley looking fairly dirty and coming with the freaky reddish hair, not bad. We'll weigh in if they have any other decent songs or if this is just a one time guilty pleasure.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: http://www.myspace.com/jrsygrl

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: This is a great find from my boy Corndog. I've never seen this before, maybe you all have, but it's hilarious I think. Kid is funny indeed. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahYgLP3RNug



3 Quick Thangs:

1. You want some birthdays for Friday, December 14th? Ok, I'll serve you up with something. Baseballer Billy Buckner, famous for the 1986 World Series error, but outside of that was an excellent player, he's 58. Future baseball Hall of Famer Craig Biggio, 42 and is one of the most underrated players in a while. We also have Anthony Mason, basketball tough guy from the 90s, known for shaving things in his head, 41. Walz is proud about that one. I'm not able to find much else today that is worthwhile other than sports names. That's all I have. Where do I get my birthdays from? I usually go here: http://brainyhistory.com/birthdays.html

2. An interesting stat told the other day while playing ball with Cousin Ozzie: Notre Dame football has a longer winning streak than each of the National Title game teams. No wonder things are screwed up. Go figure.

3. Anyone seen the latest pics of Mary-Kate Olsen? Brutal. Chick is 65 pounds, looks all coked up, and I'm not sure how to explain it. She's worse than she was a few months ago and I didn't think that could be possible. Maybe I'll put her in the 2008 Lobstah Deathpool that I take part in. Those picks are due in a few weeks actually. Yeah, I know it's totally wrong, but you can't lie and say you're not interested in competing in one of those. More on who I pick when I get those into Commish Kasher.