Jesco On Coke, Muddy Softball, & Hot Nurses

We're into a week and a half since the last post. It goes in stages, you know how I do. For the most part though, I'm pretty consistent and you can be sure to get a post every week or not much longer after that. May has also jumped in on us and in about 3 weeks, I will have been rocking this place out for 5 years. It definitely doesn't seem that long to me, but it seems fairly crazy when I think about it. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing, but it's still fun to ramble on about anything and everything. In this issue, what can you expect? I will review the over-the-top movie Crank 2, fighting the swine flu, hot nurses, the infamous Jesco White, Dyno Nobel softball back in action, chicken wings, new CDs, and much much more. Ok, time to get into our business..



Movie review time and this one is so outrageous I'm not sure which way to go with it. The movie in question? Crank 2. Everyone who reads my movie reviews knows that I'm a huge Jason Statham fan and I'm not sure I've seen a bad movie with him as one of the main stars. I went to the theater to see the first and loved it. This one, where do I begin? I was taking some notes as I watched (weird, I know), but check out the first 25 minutes. You'll think I'm making this stuff up, but I'm definitely not. Chev Chelios, the character Statham plays, he comes back to life. He has an artificial heart placed into him with a backup machine that supposedly will only last him an hour. The "bad guys" want to see him slowly die. One of the first things he does is charge his "heart" by having jumper cables hooked up to him. A Japanese guy (Johnny Vang) has his actual heart and is on the run with it in a box. Chelios finds him in a whorehouse and Chev ends up saving this dirty's life. She leads him to Vang again who has since left to go to a tittie bar. Chelios finds his ex chick dancing on stage and he goes to her, she thought he was dead. She ends up fighting the girl and there begins a shootout at the bar. That's just the first 25 minutes and then we get cops coming to the bar. Chelios fights them and gets tazered, which gives him more energy. They find Vang yet again, this time at a horse track as he's there betting. While a race is going on, Chelios and his chick are on the track in front of everyone and he uses her to get friction for energy. You can guess how that ended up. Yep, more energy for Chev. Then later? He puts a dog collar on him that he steals from guys in the park and zaps himself, more energy. This stuff is so over-the-top unbelievable that it takes it to a whole new level than you've ever seen. I know you're confused reading that, which is why you need to watch the movie and that was just the beginning. It's so bad that it's good, one of those. A super tough movie for me to grade, but I'll give it 6.3 energy boosts out of 10 and that is due to being a Statham fan or it'd be much lower. IMDB somehow gave it a 7.5, which I think is high, but I could see ratings of this movie being all over the place. Watch this just for the experience, words do it no justice.

I was down and out with the flu for a few days last week. I rarely take off work, but had to leave work one day early and took the next off. I went back a day early and should've taken another off, but I'll never learn. I was rolling with a 101+ fever and then decided I'd hit up the doctors. As I go in, the doctor asks if someone brought me. I wasn't sure what he was going to do based on that question, but luckily mom drove me for this one. He said that since someone was able to drive me home, that he'd hook me up to some IVs and bring me back to life, a la Chev Chelios. The nurses come in to take care of me and it doesn't hurt things one bit when you get hot nurses. That's an underrated thing for sure. One of the nurses, while I was hooked up to an IV asked if I wanted a blanket over me since she said I'd be getting really cold soon. Then she asked if I wanted the lights turned down while I was in there. Did I stumble across Johnny Vang's lifestyle instead of going to the doctors? I can't make this stuff up. Strange, but I didn't mind the nurses and the IVs. By the time I was out of there, I was back to normal and the flu was defeated in another day or so.



The West Virginia people will know all about this next topic and I've even talked a good bit about this legend in the blog over the years. The man I'm about to give some updates on is Boone County's finest, Jesco White. Depending on who you talk to in the state, you'll get various opinions on the man, the myth, the legend known as the Dancing Outlaw. It puts a horrible light on our state, but how much worse can it possibly get with the image we are already portrayed as? I say just go with it and have fun with the situation instead of having it bother me like it does some. Anyways, Jesco is somewhat of a cult icon, you either love him or hate him around here. I can't get enough of the dude personally and his antics crack me up. I don't know how many times Dad has watched all of his old videos which most in the state have at least seen, but I'd guess at least 150 times. Anyways, Jesco is in the news again for a few reasons. One is a tie-in with Johnny Knoxville. Yes, that Knoxville of Jackass fame. Now the nation is about to find out about Jesco. Knoxville has done a documentary entitled The Wild And Wonderful Whites of West Virginia. Watch the trailer for this just to get an idea of the guy. It still doesn't do any of his older videos credit, but it's pure entertainment. To people not in West Virginia, it might even be confusing and you may not catch the humor the rest of us do. The first woman they interview, Posey's wife Scherri (who is from Jesco Land), she used to ride to church with that woman or some story near that. That's bonus points alone, but people from down there aren't the biggest Jesco fans. Corndog found this link for me last week and it's time to show it off for you to enjoy: http://www.jackassworld.com/wildwhites. Also, a few days ago, Jesco was arrested for a cocaine charge and his mug shots are up all over the internet. If you do one thing, order some of his older DVDs, you won't be disappointed. http://www.dancingoutlaw.com.

I never learn with my sleep schedule. Maybe that's what ended up with me getting the swine flu last week. Tuesday night, I was up till 4:00 for some reason doing absolutely nothing of importance. I then wake up for work at 6:00 and have a good day in that sense. I go home, have a big workout and then run a few miles. After that, I go hit up our softball practice and didn't lose a bit of energy. Weird how that works, but that's a good break to get me to the softball topic. We're back at it again this year, Dyno Nobel is coming to a field near you. This year, we have a little change though. Instead of the co-ed format we've done the past two years, this season we'll be doing an all guys league. A few reasons on that. One is that girls in my area aren't too reliable for showing up when you need them for games. It's just true, nothing I'm mad about, but when I drive 45 minutes to a game, I want to know for sure we have enough people. All aren't unreliable, but when you get enough of them not showing on the regular, it turns into a problem. Also, our best girl from the past few years as far as talent goes, she's pregnant this year, so that's our out. Instead of using wooden bats like we had been in the past leagues, this season we bust out the metal and onto a larger field. To be honest, I think we'll get our brains bashed in the league this year when we had success the past few years in the co-ed setup. I hope I'm definitely wrong on that, but that's my first impression. Either way, I'm still pumped to do my thing out there and just have fun with it all. I bring no power to the plate, but I just want to put the speed to good use in the field and running like a chicken with my head cut off around the basepaths. As an old man at 30, I still have my quickness and don't get tired running, so hopefully that lasts for a few more years until I'm crippled. I'll be sure to give some updates on the team as we go. The main question will be, will some of our guys get ejected from games or even kicked out of the league like in last year's epic season? Stay tuned!



I typed the last paragraph up a day or two ago. Thursday night rolls around and it's time for Dyno Nobel to get the softball season started. We have about 16 guys on the roster, so it'll be a tough thing to manage, but we'll be good enough to rotate to where everyone gets their reps in. Then in some weeks, everyone won't show up of course, so you have to prepare for that. I won't bore anyone with a rundown of the roster yet, but we did get a game in against Paradise Lake. That sounds like a strip club, but it ended up being a muddy mess out there. We had a downpour of rain for at least half of the game and it was actually a blast to play in. I'm a neat freak, but when it comes to playing ball, I'm down for the mud. We had the first game of the night on Liberatore Field, so I doubt the umps wanted to cancel the night off the start. Instead, they let us play through the rough conditions, fine by us. We ended up losing 7-6, but it was a hard fought game. We didn't get our brains bashed in yet as I first predicted. Everyone was playing different spots and I tried out catcher for the first time in my life probably. I figured I'd hate that, but it turned out to be fairly fun. It gave me an excuse to talk to the upcoming batters and BS around with the ump. For the local guys and Lobstah message board crew, the ump was tearing into some Danny Granger Select for whatever that's worth. In the first inning, I was surely into outfield mode. There was a popup in foul territory that I could've got to, but I froze and just looked it at and joked that I am normally used to looking into the field and not from that direction behind the plate. That set the tone and we'd be able to joke around, yet be serious to win at the same time. I want to win as much as the next guy, but I'm going to have as much fun as I can in doing it too. At the plate, 2-3 with 2 singles of course. My goal is usually to just hit the ball on the ground and run like a madman to get on first base. My 3rd at bat, I put into the air too high and that's how it goes, but I was happy enough with my performance. After the first game, I really like the bunch of guys we have on the team this year, it should be a fun ride. How can you go wrong by having guys on the team with such names as Vito, Rory, Mule, and Cork? The answer? You can't.

After the game, I hit up Buffalo Wild Wings. Who was in attendance? I get a kick out of doing a roll call for some reason, plus it gives the readers a chance to get nosy into my business. We rolled 8 deep with people such as Posey, Scherri, Big Kaiden, Kierstn, Clinten, Zoomba Ashley, Neighbor Ashley, and myself. I also have another neighbor named Ashley across the road, plus a different Ashley came and talked to us at our table. The moral of this story? Chances are that no matter where you are, you'll be close to an Ashley. I like the setup of the restaurant, but it's always way too loud and packed for me. I did get to watch the epic Celtics/Bulls Game 6 which went to triple overtime. Did you know that in 4 of the 6 games so far in this series that we had two that went into one overtime, one that went into double, and last game which went into triple. If this series doesn't cause me to have a heart attack, nothing might. Game 7 in Boston, Saturday night!



Anyways, back to wing talk. I'll set this straight for everyone and maybe you'll see it differently. Fine if you do, but it's pretty simple to me and my crew. I guess at BW3 (I'm not up there a lot, so I could be wrong on this) that Tuesday and Thursday is Wing Night. Imagine that, Wing Night at a wing restaurant? Isn't every night technically Wing Night? That's not the argument though. First, most of us are ordering our wings and since I hate being greasy, boneless is the way to go. As a sidenote, this was directly after the game and me and Posey roll in with mud all over us and probably smelling like Jesco White, but we didn't care. I order a thing of 8 honey BBQ wings and a salad, both were pretty good. I planned to order 4 of the teriyaki wings and 4 honey, but apparently on that night you have to order 5 of one kind before they'd consider that. You serious? You just throw the wings in a shaker of sauce, if you want 1 wing a certain way, you should have that right. So since I wanted 4 of each, I couldn't do that and since I had 8 total, I couldn't break it up, so it was all honey. They rocked, but still. Also, they wanted to charge us 50 cents on these nights for a little container of bleu cheese, ranch, or what you prefer. I'm not mad about the money thing, it's just the principle. 50 cents for something that probably costs them a penny to serve, if that? Get out of here with that garbage. After talking my way around that, the waitress chick didn't charge us. It shouldn't have even been an argument. I still ended up tipping the people nice since that's what I do, but don't try to pull one over on us by some petty rule with your wing system and sauces.

We're back with an update of CDs to let everyone know about..



Bizzy Bone: Back With The Thugz. I need to go back and count up the percentage of CD updates that I write about that includes a Bone member. After putting out so much stuff, it seems to get jumbled and you can't tell a lot of difference. I still like the crew though. Songs to get? Shooting At Me featuring Capone-E, the album title Back With The Thugz, and That's Why Thugs Never Cry.

J. Holiday: Round 2. We go to some R&B flow with these tracks. I think this guy is talented, I still prefer my rap over this stuff, but it's worth checking out. I like that he doesn't have a ton of people on his CD here. Since this more or less comes into things I'd recommend you check out, I'll continue that trend. Let's go with Make That Sound, Sing 2 You, and my favorite which would be Fall.

Jim Jones: Pray IV Reign. Of course when you're dealing with Diplomats, you get the same style of music every time. It rarely changes. Also, everyone and their brother is on this thing such as Chink Santana, Luda, Busta, Juelz, Ron Browz, and Rell just to name a few. Go with How To Be a Boss that has Luda and Busta on it, Blow The Bank with Oshy that has a R&B feel, and one you've heard is Na Na Nana Na Na.

Slim Thug: Boss Of All Bosses. The best of my latest CDs here, this one delivers in a major way. I've talked about I Run before and it's one of the better singles I've heard in quite a while. Associates with Z-Ro and J-Dawg and we can end with Hard with the legendary Scarface. I'm not sure there's anything bad on this entire thing.

Young Dru: Block Star. We go to the Bay Area for this production, so I'm instantly a fan of the style. Jams you might consider are Prince of the V, Yadida Whaa Whaa with Keak Da Sneak and Messy Marv, and a third to get? Nobody Flyer Than Me. If anyone cares, this is a white boy. It doesn't matter to me, but you don't see many of your whitey rappers come from the Yay Area.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: I think we have some potential here with this week's girl. Arizona Jas is back to give us something to talk about. In the words of Jas, "she may not have millions of pictures, but what she does have are quality". Even better, we have some quotes from the dirty herself on her page and it's too funny. Here are some gems, taken verbatim: "First thangs first f**k u cause u aint me. I'm a nice person to talk to and to get to no bkut once ya f**k wit me than is ova. Yea some of yall didnt thank that i would make it but i didnt do dis for yall hoes i did dis for me. I dont f**k wit that many hoes cause they sensational. For all u haten ass hoes, bkitch boosie told ya if u lookin for me i aint hard to find." I'd say this girl has some pent up aggression. Check her out though, we can laugh at the stuff she says, but overall, this isn't a lame dirty who has no business with pics, we're going with quality this week, thanks Jas: http://www.myspace.com/67574060

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: This guy gets interviewed after getting zapped by a tazer. "I saw them little stars like I told you. And then I fell flat on my face and dirt all in my mouth. You don't wanna deal with that tazer, trust me. If you was to get your ass whipped by a police officer, take that ass whippin'. Don't take that tazer man, I'm telling you."





3 Quick Thangs:

1. I don't normally check cheesy emails that I'd have no use for, but I did try one of those math deals that end up telling your age. If you have a minute, here's one to try.. First, pick the number of times a week that you'd like to have chocolate (more than once, but less than 10). Next, multiply this number by 2. Now, add 5. The next step is to multiply 50. If you have already had your birthday this year, add 1759. If not, add 1758. Now, subtract the 4-digit year you were born. You should end with a 3-digit number. The first digit shows your original number and the next two numbers are your age. Not too shabby.

2. Ok, what can it hurt? Possibly my favorite Jesco White moment of all time and it's probably even been in the blog before, but this is his message to his wife for how she cooks eggs:



3. One of the facts of the day comes to us from across the waters and we go to Germany. Kristen has one to let everyone know about: A can of SPAM is opened every 4 seconds. Who knew? I sure didn't.

No Internet, Cornhole, & Lack of Sleep

It's this time of year that I take my annual internet sabbatical. Spring break hits and off to do a little fishing with the parents. They have a place a few hours away, so it's fun to just get out, relax, and do whatever. It's not roughing it by any means because I probably wouldn't do too well with that style for a long period. I have everything I need there with the exception of no internet, but more on that later. I couldn't go without my sports and other shows I'm hooked on, so that's where the satellite comes in handy. I was able to watch Idol, NBA games, MLB games, and whatever else. We got there early Tuesday morning and I stayed till Friday evening. For those three nights, the latest I went to bed was 10:30. That's unheard of for myself who usually has crazy hours. Also, more on those crazy hours in a bit as well.



As far as the catching fish scene goes, a big thumbs down there. I'll be honest. I'm not one of these fishing dudes who is going to make up some wild lie about how I slayed them all week and had so many in my possessions that I could be put in jail for. I've been there many times over the years (not in jail obviously), but this week wasn't an occasion that I got into them. The first two days it did nothing but rain. One day I fished in the rain, but didn't get much luck. On a stream, if you get a bunch of rain, it's going to muddy up the water and make it really high, thus it makes for tougher fishing conditions. I won't bore you with that lingo though, just my rare times that I get to play redneck and enjoy it. Thursday and Friday turned out to be really nice as far as weather goes. In the day time, it got up to about 70 and I even had a little sunburn when I was finished. Ironically, there was still snow on the ground in some spots and one morning it registered at 30 with ice on the windshields, but felt tons colder out on the streams. I'm a cold weather guy as everyone knows, but it's the middle of April, time to end that until the fall. Through four days of trying to catch my limit and then some, I ended up only pulling in about 4 fish, not good odds. It happens though, still a fine trip.

Now to the internet side of things. If you've been reading the blog for a while now, you'll know what I'm about to say. I've probably said this at the end of every other spring break post I had. To set the deal up, you have to realize that when I go three days with no internet, that's a cruel and unjust punishment I put on myself. Where we stay at, there's no internet access. Last year, I actually drove about 20 minutes away and sat in an open parking lot in a rich boy section. You know the rest, the beauty of stealing free wireless internet. That there shows how ate up I am, but at least I admit it. I know you're thinking, he really went out there and sat in the car with his laptop and got online for a few hours? Yep, you know it. This year, I held off. I planned to come home on Saturday, but I tapped early and left on Friday evening.



Friday comes along and I finally get to the house around 4:30. I figured I'd be productive and what I ended up doing was mowing grass so I wouldn't have to do it on Saturday. See, I think ahead of time. I needed to finish up the last week of fantasy basketball stats as well, a league I still do by hand and it's probably my joy in life. Out of the 12 members this year, Spank was the big winner that was crowned champion, Big T comes in 2nd, and I round out the top bunch in 3rd Place. I'm lucky to be part of not one (EDDFL that I run and then the keeper league of the Lobstah bunch known as A#BA), but two VERY competitive fantasy NBA leagues that I'd put up against any other leagues out there. It's an obsession, right along the same lines as my internet cravings. Spank now gets to trash talk to the rest of the league for as long as he wants as this is a big honor with my boys. It's hard to describe if you're not part of a tight fantasy league, but winning this is what a lot of us strive for. Yep, big hopes here in Shinnston, the life we live.

Let's backtrack just a bit. Friday morning I woke up at 6:00 AM to hit the streams. I was home at 4:30 and then after I got done cutting the grass, it was time to see what I missed in the land of the internet. It's usually not much, but when you're off of it for a bit, you feel like you're missing out on something huge. In my mind, I guess I feel like I am. I got the last week's EDDFL figures tallied up, wrote up the 6-page year end report, and then around 10:30 it was time to be a bum. I was pretty tired by this point actually, but knew that my second wind would eventually kick in. I ended up just doing a whole bunch of nothing online for the entire night. What does that entail? Chatting around to everyone and their brother, fantasy sports, wrestling and MMA news, being nosy on MySpace and Facebook, and who knows what else. Daylight is approaching and you'd think I'd be ready to tap. Nope, I might as well catch up on time lost from the week with no internet. Morning rises and some of my buddies are waking up for the day. Quite a few were shocked I was up so early on a weekend and wondered what the deal was. When I told them I was still kicking, they probably thought I was an idiot, as do the rest of you. That opinion is cool with me, you know I don't get offended and just stay laid back.



After goofing off for a while longer and talking to some characters worldwide, I finally dive into bed at 11:15 AM. That's over 29 hours that I was awake for no important reason. No, that's not anywhere close to a record for me, but I took advantage of the time. I set my alarm for 2:15 and end up watching my Celtics get rocked in Game 1 against the Bulls. It's a totally different team without KG out there and I was almost put to tears. We'll see where the rest of the series turns out. Game 2 is in the books and it was a shootout with Ben Gordon against Jesus Shuttlesworth. Jesus hits the game winning 3. At 4:30, on 3 hours of sleep, I went to workout and had a pretty good one actually. Then more action was just starting up on Saturday night, such as...

Happy 30th Birthday to none other than Mudcat! Through his sisters' planning everything and having me get a hold of some of his buddies, it was a surprise all the way. It's not the wildin' out party that you're expecting, I'm not like that either, but we had an awesome time I thought. Mud pulled up to the place, saw all of our cars there and still couldn't put two and two together. I thought by that point the surprise would be gone, but it worked out really well. We're talking some good food, presents for The Mudder, a video presentation that was classic, and cornhole. Blog readers of this spot, you know that cornhole plays a pretty big part in our boredom from time to time. Look it up if you don't know what it is, I'm not going to get into explaining the whole deal, but it's so addicting and fun that you have to give it a try. Even if you're terrible at it, you still have a blast playing. At the right moments, with our crew, it can get pretty heated at times too and some good ol' fashioned trash talk won't hurt anyone. The cornhole champions of the night ended up being Team Thick. If you remember the June 26, 2008 post on cornhole battles at Matty Cakes' crib, that's where Team Thick was originated at. Tommy and Boyles weren't here for these festivities unfortunately, as they're both guys that will crack you up, but we made it work. Anyways, Team Thick is none other than Fortney and Spank. I teamed up with Clay most of the evening and we got rocked, but then again, most teams that faced Team Thick ended up not even close. All in all, props to the Mudcat Family for bringing some excitement to the streets of Enterprise, a good time indeed.



Saturday isn't over yet, so stick with me for a bit here. After that, it was home to get an hour or so of Call of Duty in before heading off to Posey's. While gone all week on the fishing trip, Spank had reigns of my house and had it made. Mom left him a fridge full of food and he had Call of Duty all to himself. To me, it doesn't get much better than that. Saturday night, I had to get back into my COD fix though since I missed out on playing. Next month, for the Wii fans, Punch-Out is released! Little Mac is back on the prowl. Most of the old legends are back, plus with many added twists. A downfall is that you can't play it online, but you can turn the controller old school style (or even use the old school version I hope) instead of shaking around like bandit. That might be a great time to cash in my GameStop gift certificate that I still haven't used since Christmas thanks to COD.

Now it's off to the scenic view of Tank Hill, high atop the town, home of the Posey palace. What'd we watch? UFC 97: Redemption. In attendance for the happenings were Posey, Scherri, the DelRio boys and their chicks, Porter, Pimpin' Money Mike (not the same from the WrestleMania crew), Ashley, and myself. It was a fun time as all the pay per views normally are. It gets us out of the house for one. The card itself turned out very strong with the exception of the main event which was so beyond brutal that I can't even describe. Shogun Rua just totally punished Chuck Liddell. Hey Liddell, it's time to give it up. That chin is like Glass Joe's. Sure, you can still make money, but save yourself some misery. Spider Silva and Thales Leites, you guys get this week's finger of shame. What a bunch of garbage this main event was, they should both be ashamed of what they did. They danced around like little girls and wouldn't hit each other. Spider was scared to get on the ground with Leites. Leites didn't want to stand up. So they danced around and that was that for 5 rounds. The Montreal crowd booed it the entire time and even erupted into some GSP (Georges St. Pierre) chants as their boy was in the crowd. Spider, I'm giving you one last chance to prove your old worth instead of this nonsense. If you want to dance around, fine, but at least do what you used to and knock heads whenever you want, Roy Jones Jr. style. What did I munch on at the show? Giant Cheetos and they were my first time trying, good stuff. These are huge though. I loaded the dogs up with a lot of these too. Lexi has been on my good side for a while now. Dex on the other hand, this guy is so out of control that I end up getting all tense and paranoid when he's going a zillion miles an hour the entire night. Even the shock collar doesn't affect him, he's on meth or something. Speaking of on something, as I type this section, today is 4:20 Day, April 20th. Don't even get me started on those idiots who start up the celebration of that day. Maybe I'm a prude in that manner for that topic, but just my opinion and there you have it. Anyways, after Posey's, I get home and go to bed at 2:00. I was awake for 41 of the past 44 hours. Nothing worth bragging about, more of me being stupid.



Here's a recommendation from Spank and Alicia. They had been hyping up this 4-inch mattress topper they both have on their beds. They got it for about 75% off on Overstock and I had to check out this bad boy for myself at that price. I immediately order it without even going to either of their houses and jumping around on it or whatever. It's one of those deals that leaves your handprint in the foam and it's top of the line. Order it for yourself, you won't be disappointed. It's like buying an entire new mattress. You really don't even need a pillow when you're laying on this thing, it's getting that rank from me. Serta Rejuventator. What are you waiting on? You can't put a price on a good night of sleep, even for people who don't get enough of it like myself, but this thing is the real deal, Evander style.

I know that nobody gets CDs anymore. I still like to get them just at least for the sake of throwing them onto the iPod. Either that or actually listen to someone's entire CD for once instead of singles and nothing else like some people do. Here's two new ones I got recently, not that you care, but I'll tell ya about em anyways.

Jadakiss: The Last Kiss. I heard on 106 & Park the other day that this has been 2009's best selling rap album thus far. It has lived up to the hype on my end, this is one awesome. Is there really no bad songs on this thing? That is very possible. But I still have to give you songs to download, that's my duty around here. Grind Hard featuring Mary J, What If featuring Nas, Cartel Gathering with Ghostface and Raekwon The Chef, and finally, Smoking Gun which might be the best on the whole thing with Jazmine Sullivan. That chick is straight up no joke. A real big thumbs up for this CD, go get it.

UGK: 4 Life. We all know that the late great Pimp C is no longer around. This is treated as a tribute to Pimp C. There's a thing in the intro that says he and Bun B are "back from the dead", creepy. A very good track list here, but it's not on Jada's level to me. Songs to go for? The Pimp & The Bun with Ron Isley, Purse Come First with Big Gipp, and Da Game Been Good To Me.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: I might as well take a turn and throw a dirty in. Usually other people have been sending them lately, but why not me? As usual, I'll consider anything you send. This one from head down is good stuff. Above that, I'm just not seeing it. Maybe other guys or girls will, but still a dirty nonetheless. http://www.myspace.com/tonileigh

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Uncle Wilbur is stepping up to the plate for this video. I guess they can show just about anything in other countries as far as commercials go. They can push the buttons. He insisted it go in, so we do what we can to please the people. As the Boston Sports Guy would say, yep, these are my readers.





3 Quick Thangs:

1. Reader submission time and it comes from The_Freak. How about a former Delaware football player charged with burglary? That's not newsworthy you're saying, right? I know, but there's more. This paragraph makes the entire article for me: "The suspect entered the unlocked apartment while the two occupants were sleeping inside and raided the refrigerator, taking 100 frozen chicken wings, a pound of frozen salmon, 18 frozen Hot Pockets and 20 hamburger patties worth a total value of $82, according to court records." If that doesn't get a smile on your face, you have no soul. http://delawareonline.com/article/20090416/NEWS/90416027&referrer=FRONTPAGECAROUSEL

2. You know what makes me mad? Littering. I just don't get it, but I guess I'm in the minority. I know I'm a neat freak, but it's not even that. How hard is it to keep your wrappers or bottles and throw them away when you get home? But no, not here in my state which gets a bad enough rap the way it is. Let's act all tough and throw beer bottles all over the highways. Very classy WV. Other states don't seem to do that as much.

3. A few facts to end the day on? The left leg of a chicken is more tender than the right one. Another animal goodie? A giraffe has the highest blood pressure of any animal. The average chocolate bar has 8 insects' legs in it.

Easter, James Moats Mangled, & Steamboat

I'm not sure I can get all of these topics into one blog this time around. That's not a problem in my book, that means more stories for me to ramble on and on about. We're bringing the action right to your computer screens and some of it might shock you, some might entertain you, some might get you fired up at some parts, we'll hit all the emotions. For a preview of what you'll get: College basketball bracket money winner, Spank's entrance into the Toughman Contest, another ShamWow appearance, more Marine chinup challenges, WrestleMania, Fast and Furious, massages, and a RAWR car. Ok, now it's time for me to breathe and get into this madness. It's just tough to figure out where to begin..




Since it's action you want, I'll jump right to some fighting. That's right, we hit the Morgantown Toughman Contest last weekend and what a time it was. You always get your money's worth at these events, but even more so when you have people you know in the ring. I'll get more into that, but let's first compare the differences between this venue and the Clarksburg Nathan Goff Armory that we hit up for the Clarksburg Toughman Contest. The Morgantown building is a new place and I liked the setup. It had a ton of room and the parking was spaced out and not a mess. You could get to the concession stand or bathrooms really quick. The atmosphere though, I'm giving to Clarksburg. It is ten times more rowdy there and you never know what might happen. It is much more "rednecky" at Clarksburg than up north. The people at Morgantown also left a lot earlier. It seemed like they were there to see a guy they were supporting and rolled out. At Clarksburg, people stay the whole night. Both have their advantages and disadvantages, but overall, each are well worth the ticket price to go watch heads get crushed.

Now it's time for actual fight time. Friday night was the opening night, my favorite night to go as you get to see all the fighters go, even the ones who don't belong at all. Spank had been training like a maniac and approached this event in the right way. He wasn't an idiot who thinks he was going to go in and win this thing like half the people around our area do. He wanted to try it to say he did and have fun with it. Training wise, he was all over it. He was running a good 6-7 miles a day, sparring with several guys who have done the contests before, and the usual pushing of the weights. Cardio wise at Morgantown, I'd say he was definitely among the tops and the same goes for being ripped up versus the rest of the crew. It was time to play the waiting game after all the fighters weighed in to see who they are matched up against.



James Moats, step into the ring! This was Spank's opponent for the first night and we brought a big following of people to watch him. My car was rolling 7 deep at one point on the way home. I could list everyone who was there to see Spank, but most don't want to read every single name. In my car though, we had Ashley, Posey, Scherri, Cork, Spank, Porter, and myself. I managed to scare them a few times with my bad driving skills, but they chose to ride with me, so what's that's saying? That's putting lives in danger. Well, it's not that bad, but I'm not a good driver in some cases. I'm four paragraphs in and nobody has thrown a punch yet. Ok, we're in the ring and I'm getting amped. I wasn't worried about Spank getting hurt in there, I knew he'd hold his own, but we couldn't stay still for a second. Ding ding, bell time!

I can't stay still to begin with, but this was even more so watching the fight. 30 seconds in, James Moats couldn't hang anymore due to the vicious left hooks. Through the rest of the weekend and going strong still, Posey started up some good James Moats lines. Posey also lost his voice during the night in his screamfest. I'm calm 99% of the time at sporting events, but this I couldn't stop from yelling and jumping up and down. Second night came around and Spank was fairly even with his next opponent through Round One. Round Two starts up and his neck begins to get mangled. Going into the weekend, one doctor told Spank not to fight since he had a pinched nerve. Another doctor told him to go for it. If he would've won that fight, he was to face the guy who ended up winning the heavyweight division, throwing bombs. All in all, I had a blast and Spank did it up big by showing the crowd what he had.



Our backs were mangled sitting in the bleachers. No biggie though, it's always worth it. I went to get a water once and they had them in a big cooler of ice. You get a bottle out and then go pay these dirty girls. As you're paying, they have a towel for you to wipe it off with. Oh no, it's not just your normal towel. What would it be? ShamWow! I got to see a ShamWow in person and say I used the thing. Other happenings was that I got yet another free Marines shirt to add to the collection for doing over 20 chinups, fully extended style. Posey and I also ran into these energy drink dudes who were really doing a network marketing scheme. We both like talking to random people just to see what they have to say. We fed them a lot of nonstop talking and of course they ate it up. I ended up getting some free energy drinks out of the mix before they eventually would figure out I wasn't interested in their stupid plan. Also, as a random, Posey ended up buying a mouthpiece for no other reason than just to do it. I thought someone gave it to him, but he actually bought the thing and was wearing it around the building, good stuff.

Ok, time for the final paragraph on the fights. You're all wondering, guys and girls both, how the ring girls stacked up from Morgantown to Clarksburg. It didn't even compare. The girls both in the crowd and in the ring were a lot better in Morgantown. I think the girls with us got a kick out of our opinions on the dirty ring girls. Our whole section was giving opinions before the nights were over, nothing better to do. A few arguments were over if some had fake tits or not. I'm terrible at telling the difference, but I'll still throw my two cents out there. Also, one chick was 80 pounds soaking wet and had no business showing her stuff. Spank said it felt like he was watching child porn seeing her out there bouncing around, it was rough. To end things, we parked beside one of the stripper girls they were advertising. In it was this cheesy guy with a cheap suit, a junky car, and the windshield said RAWR. RAWRRRRRRR! Somehow he had the hot chick, who knows. That's how it goes sometimes. I wish I would've taken pics of it.



The good deed of the week was helping a buddy and her dude with a new HDTV. I hooked that bad boy up and put in a Blu-Ray player for them, top of the line stuff. This was about 10 miles outside of Morgantown in probably the nicest house I've been in during my entire life. Not that I get out much, but it ranks as my #1 I'd say. We're talking the pimp cars on the long driveway, three big screens, three full floors, carpet I was walking on that I've never felt quite the like, and tons of other things. That was during the morning and I drive back and get home to Shinnston at 5:30. At 6:00, I pick up the Toughman crew and then leave again for Morgantown, I was all over the place in the Jeep, but on time like always.

Most seasons recently I've done horrible in the NCAA basketball tournament pick ems. This year I was alive going into the final weekend, so I had something to keep an eye on. I ended up with three of my Final 4 teams in it and needed Michigan State to beat UConn to clinch. They put the hammer on and I ended up winning Ozzie's pool that had 60-70 people in it. That's a solid cash take for me there. On top of that, my Heels totally crushed Michigan State in the championship game. Now watch me go 20 years without winning another pool again, just the luck I have in that type of thing, but I'll bask in the glory at least for one season.



Sunday it was time for the Super Bowl of wrestling. That'd be WrestleMania 25 and it was held at the Fortney palace. We had a gang there and awesome food that Abbey made to add to the mix. This was also my first time seeing little Gracey, who it seems like is 4 years old already. Sad that it took me that long to get up there, my fault for sure. Anyways, who all was there for the festivities? Posey, Fortney, Abbey, Darian, Kayla, Matty (not Cakes), Mudcat, Pimpin' Money Mike, Brad, Huff, Spank and myself. It was a terrible show actually, but with that crew together, it made to be a great time. Some of the stuff on the show was so bad that it was actually funny to see. The highlight of the night for most of us came from Ricky Steamboat's return to the ring after years away. The dude hasn't lost a step and blew us away at 56 years old. The next night on RAW, he stole the show again to chants of "You still got it!". I'm always down for a wrestling pay per view, I'll never grow up and apparently most of my crew won't either, it makes things interesting.

Thursday night was movie time. I've been due for a theater trip, so we got it in. Going in, it started that a few of us wanted to see Fast and Furious. Posey hasn't been to the movies in ages, so I was joking with Ashley and Scherri and it ended up that I'd take them both. Posey ended up finding a babysitter, so we went 4 deep for this one. I am a fan of all the movies in this series, so I had high hopes for this one. It delivered, at least from my perspective. It was way over the top, but all of them are that way and not too believable. You have to go in and not have that bother you. The storyline I liked a lot though and Vin Diesel played his role great. Michelle Rodriguez was looking great in this one too. The character that Laz Alonzo played as Fenix Rise was cracking me up like no other. He tried to act all hard, but it turned out to just have me laughing the entire movie at his scenes. Maybe that was just me. Chalk up Jordana Brewster as another hottie in this one. The funny thing about going to these movies is that afterwards, everyone thinks they are tough guys and spin out of the parking lot with their cars. Posey figured he'd try it with the minivan just to be stupid and was able to rip out of the lot. They need vids of these kids revving their engines up and then driving out, it'd have you laughing for sure. Ok, you want the grade? I'm going fairly high with this one. It'll be 8.1 cars blown up out of 10.



I've made it. Forty days I've went without any of my candy, pop, sweet tea, Doritos, or anything of that nature. The first part of it was fairly rough, but once the initial period was over, I was able to handle things without much of an urge. It was tough on days when I'd be at work and someone would bring in a big birthday cake or our cook would make cinnamon rolls, cookies, or that type of deal. Once midnight hits on Saturday night (Sunday morning), all bets are off. The first thing I'm dove into is of course the Cadbury eggs followed by a huge piece of white chocolate and a Coke. I might go into a sugar coma since it's been so long, but I'll get back on pace to rocking that out like no other. As a heads up, if you're bored, feel free to mail me some candy at any time, I won't pass it up.

An underrated thing that most people don't get nearly enough of? Massages. I got one on Friday for the first time in a while. For the locals, it was the place on Meadowbrook Road. Not that I've had a whole lot of massages over the years, but this one ranks as my #1 thus far. I got to hang in the hot tub for 15-20 minutes before the actual deal. They even had a Ric Flair robe for me to put on after I got out to go to the next room. I should've done the strut and went into full character mode. After that, it was massage time for an hour and this little chick did the work. No, not what you're thinking you pervs, but I about fell asleep during it. Highly recommended, plus they told me my insurance would pay for most of any future visits, so you can't really beat that.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: What dirty do we have to reveal this week? People get a kick out of this section and I get just as many comments talking to people or online about this than just about anything else on my blogs. Credit for this one goes to Kristen in Germany. She's sending us a chick from Dallas, Texas. The funniest pics to me in her folders are from the car show. You'll see what I mean. www.myspace.com/tha_executiveofficialpage

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: This has been out for a while, but if you've never seen, you're in for a treat. Even if you have seen, you know this is a vid you can watch over and over. I'm talking about My New Haircut. It's probably not suitable for work if you have your speakers cranked, but check it out and then thank me later.





3 Quick Thangs:

1. We're going with reader submissions for the bottom part this week.. We'll start off with one from Arizona Jas. What does she have to provide us with? In the average life time, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator. Another one from Arizona Jas? More suicides happen on Monday than any other day.

2. We go to a joke that Corndog found that he wants people to know about. In his words, it's hilarious. Penis Van Lesbian. http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/just4fun/a/VanLesbian.htm

3. And our third is coming to us from The_Freak. What's he have up his sleeve? He has a few actually.. A koala bear sleeps 22 hours of every day. Another? California has issued at least 6 drivers licenses to people named Jesus Christ. Dang, it's one more the fans are chanting for? Ok, I'll give in. Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave.. I hope everyone had a great Easter, talk to you soon enough!

Dirty Feet, ShamWow Dude & Flink

I just love having tons of random topics to ramble about. It's weeks like these, as I said in the last issue that it makes the blogs easy to write. Besides, I'm never short of words, I can always find some kind of conversation to get into. The little preview I can give this time around will feature if people wash their feet, Corndog becoming addicted, a weird iPhone app, cheesy Facebook things I've lowered myself to, a great story on the ShamWow dude, and MUCH more. It's time to step in and get ready, for it's now or never time..



I was listening to a radio show the other morning on my drive to work. Between songs, they brought up a topic that somewhat surprised me. In the live booth was a chick and 3 dudes on the radio panel. One guy brings up that his feet smell and he was wondering the problem. The chick then asks if he washes his feet. A simple question, right? You'd think the obvious answer would be yes, but you would have guessed wrong. The guy says what he does, when he's in the shower, he'll wash his body and soap will be on him. Then he'll let the soap run all the way down to his feet and through his toes. The chick then was confused and was asking if the guy really didn't actually scrub his feet. He said he didn't scrub and didn't think anything of it. Then she asks the other guys in the booth. Apparently, another guy there does the exact same thing. How do you not scrub your feet? Come on people. Dudes have mangled feet to begin with, at least scrub em. No chick wants to deal with that. Well, our weekly Dirty Thug Ho girls may, but you know, they usually don't count. Besides, it takes no time to scrub, get to it.

I've talked about the iPhone before and we all know it can do just about everything aside from scrubbing your feet. You've all seen the latest commercials on their new apps. That's fine, some are a bit extreme, but one has me thinking when it will end. The one I'm talking about is the app that reminds you where you parked your car. Don't get me wrong, I have no common sense and have came out of a store before and been a bit lost to where my car was. But to the point of actually going in a panic that I'd need to have my phone pinpoint my spot? Get out of here with that app, it's garbage. It'll be interesting to see what they have to offer next. Maybe I need to get me one of these things just because.



Here's a story that you might've heard just recently, but has me intrigued. For you TV freaks like me, you definitely know the ShamWow dude. The first thing before getting into the story, I am surprised he's 44 years old. He doesn't look nearly that much on TV, but wait.. He was partying and doing his thing in Miami and decides he wants some dirty hooker. No, not just some random girl and me being silly by calling her that in the blog. A genuine one and he paid her $1000 for regular stuff. Apparently, she kisses the dude and bit his tongue and wouldn't let go. What does ShamWow Dude do? He started going Chris Brown on her and messed her up something awful. Yes, I know what you're thinking, that guy. She ended up with facial fractures and lacerations. If you've read this my ramblings before, you know I'm a huge proponent against dudes who think they're so bad that they have to whip up on a little girl. It's just crazy to me how often that happens, even in my area that I see, so I couldn't imagine a real city like Miami. No excuse from me on this guy for what he did, but it's still a story you wanted to know about. Anyways, thanks to good ol' Smoking Gun, they have 6 pages up for you all to enjoy. You get to see ShamWow Dude look tons older than he does on TV in his mugshot, the police reports, and of course pics of the dirty girl. She doesn't look bad in her before pics, but got beatdown in her hospital pics. Aside from the face being mangled, in an off topic thing with her, she has a tat on her lower back that says Lucky. I've come around a good bit on tats recently and if you have something decent, I'm cool with it, but that one just makes me laugh. Here's two links, the first shows the story and ShamWow Dude's pics. The other is of the girl after tough guy roughed her up, it's not pretty. Why can't we throw Chris Brown and ShamWow Dude into a MMA ring with Vanderlei "The Axe Murderer" Silva for a good 10 minutes? That'd teach em. And here's your links: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0327092sham1.html and http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0330091newsham1.html

How's the world of Facebook treating people? I still like MySpace even though it's a bit more primitive, but seems like everyone and their brother would rather be on Facebook instead. Either is fine by me, but there's a cheesy Top 5 deal going on that is catching on like fire. I admit, it's so cheesy that I figured I'd jump in on it too, sadly enough. I went and ranked my Top 5 Albums , Top 5 Movies, and Top 5 Video Games of All Time. Those are tougher than you think to break it down to just 5 choices. You can pick between a lot of other things too, but I stopped with those three, that's bad enough. On the albums I go with all rap, as I chose Dr. Dre's The Chronic as my #1 by far, Dru Down's Can You Feel Me, NWA's Straight Outta Compton, 2Pac's All Eyez On Me, and Run DMC's Raising Hell. For movies I go with The Sandlot as my #1, The Pride of the Yankees, Private Parts, Boogie Nights, and Happy Gilmore. Hey Cali Jas, Slumdog is Top 10, hah. Video games I go with Tecmo Bowl as #1 (the original), The Legend of Zelda, The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, Street Fighter 2, and Mike Tyson's Punch-Out. Take those rankings for whatever they're worth to you, probably not much. I did have some fun checking out what other people on my list ranked some of their tops, it's interesting. Then again, I'm easily excited, so it could be boring to you.



The video game mix is still kicking as usual. I've been stuck on nothing but Call of Duty 5 since it came out. Most of my buddies who have it are just as ate up. We added another to the program this week. Last Saturday, I get a call out of nowhere from Logan County. I didn't have a clue who it was at first, but a few seconds in after the guy started joking and calling me by all of my nicknames, it clicked. Corndog! He wanted some info on COD and what all he needed to play it. Almost a week later, Corndog now is hooked like the rest of us. It's the best when we get all of our gang into one game. The people from out of the area are in our games and they hear a bunch of West Virginia hicks like us on there with our mics, they don't know what to think. It's pretty entertaining. The majority of people on the mics are fun, but you do get your punks from time to time who can ruin things. The other night it was Corndog, Cork, Walz, and myself all in an 8-man Free-For-All game. If you haven't joined on on this yet, you're missing out. After the first night of playing, Corndog wakes up without a lot of sleep and pulls out this one as he's ready to pick his controller back up:

Corndog: im already up again
Corndog: dang im tired
Corndog: but as soon as i help my sister move some stuff....ill be back out on the battlefield haha

It's TV time as I watch entirely too much. It's going to rot my brain. A show I've been getting into lately is Cash Cab on the Discovery Channel. I've always been a game show type of guy, so this is easy to get into. It's been around for a bit, so most of you have probably already seen it a good bit. Basically the premise is that you have the host of the show driving a cab in New York City. People get into the cab like they would for any other cab and tell the driver of their destination. Little do they know, he switches it up on them and tells them they have a chance to make money until they land at their spot. If they get 3 strikes (missed questions), the driver kicks them out of the car. They have 2 "shout-outs" in that they can either call someone or stop on the street and ask some bum for help. At the end, if they make it without losing all their strikes, they are given a chance to double up their money with a video question or just to get out and keep what they have. I'd be way too conservative with my money. I'd take the money I already won and just roll out. It's free money the way I look at it, no point of gambling it to where you might end with nothing. That's just my take. Anyways, check it out if you haven't before. General knowledge questions and some of the people that get into the car will shock you with how smart they are.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: She is doing a handstand on her main profile pic and she also has pics with Pimpin' Money Mike and Urkel. Those all helped the consideration factor and here we go with this week's edition: www.myspace.com/jessurz

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Corndog is all over the blog this week and he returns yet again. I don't watch any late night talk shows anymore, but I used to be big into Letterman. That gets me into this week's video that Corndog gets credit for. It's a skit of Letterman stuck in an elevator and putting on a good act. Big Dave looking into the cam gets me every time.





3 Quick Thangs:

1. Very interesting.. As I'm working on the blog, my Chicago Bears are back on the map. Maybe not to a lot of wins, but it should be a good bit better than they have been offensively. Jay Cutler, the crybaby of the Broncos is out and is now with my boys. I like that, even if we gave up two 1st Round picks, a 3rd Round pick, and Kyle "The Legend Killer" Orton. Still one of the worst (if not THE worst) receiving crew in the league, but with Cutler back there, I'm all for the change. We'll see. Ask me again in 6-7 months.

2. I know absolutely nothing about country music. Ironic I know since I'm in redneck land, but it's true. I said this during my fantasy baseball draft last week and was fearing that I might lose my manliness with the comment. I decided to go with it anyways. The topic was Taylor Swift and I'll say it here. I don't get the hype with everyone saying she's so hot. I don't see it. She's a cute girl, looks way way young though, but nobody that I'd put way high on my celebrity list at all. Surprisingly, several other guys in my league agreed.

3. Did You Know? Did you know that a group of 12 or more cows is called a flink? I didn't either, never knew that word existed. Another one? Ok.. Deer can't eat hay. I'm not sure if they really can't or if they just won't, but that's what it says.. Until next time!

Terlingua Chili Cookoff 1989

Today's topic is sponsored by none other than The_Freak. All credit goes to him.

Here we are with our last post from the month of March. In a few months, we'll rock out 5 years in this place, how time flies. Some of you have been around for the whole ride, whether that's an accomplishment or just showing how bored you might be on the internet, that's fine by me either way. What's the plan for today's post? We'll talk about a little roadtrip to Pennsylvania, hick accents, dumb Subway girls, fantasy baseball, a movie review, and much more. How's that for a mix of topics? It's weeks like these that the blog just writes itself and I can kick back.



Everyone knows I'm a huge wrestling fan and that I'll never grow up in that aspect. So be it, I like what I like. This past Friday, it was a mini road trip that I was due for. Along for the ride was my boy Spank as we headed north to scenic Elizabeth, Pennsylvania. It's in the Pittsburgh area, but for as much as I'm actually in the city of Pittsburgh, I've never been to Elizabeth. It's about 20 minutes away from the city. It reminded me a lot of home as that it's a small town with not a lot going on. The high school there is rock solid. It was nicer than most college campuses around here it seems. Oh, you're wondering why I went to Elizabeth, my bad. I did write that last week though, it was for a Ring of Honor wrestling show. I've made a few ROH trips to Cleveland before and you get your money's worth. This is their first trip to the Pittsburgh area in quite a while. I won't ramble as much on the wrestling side with details as I know that can bore people, but a few stories from the day I found interesting..

We have directions to the place, but it's basically off back roads and the like. I'm not one that is afraid to ask for directions. I know that's not a manly thing to do, but I'll ask and risk looking like an idiot to get my answer. Plus, doing that, it gives me an excuse to meet some characters that you might not otherwise. We pulled into this tire shop connected to an Exxon. We see a dude in there I'd guess his late 50s. We tell him where we are going and he knows exactly where it's at. This guy then became so animated in telling us directions that it was a sight to see. When we left, Spank said he was biting his tongue so hard not to literally laugh in this guy's face. He said if I would've looked at him at that point, he would have. The best thing about this guy's directions is that he gave precise directions. He was naming every little store and turn that we'd come across like we knew these little hometown shops. Coming from out of the area, that'd normally be tough to find, but this dude wasn't messing around. See, it pays to ask for directions, that guy started things right for the night.



We didn't have much time to kill before the show, so we hit up a nearby Subway. We may have encountered two of the dumbest girls I've seen in a long time. They're on the list anyways. Nice girls, but that won't get them far. Why do I say that? I'm ordering my sub and one chick says, "You're not from around here are you?" I said not really, but I'm just two hours south, so not that far out of range. She then gives us the comment that we get everywhere we go. She said we had huge southern accents and was just wondering. I know I sound like a big hick, but they must never talk to someone from way deep down south. Either way, it cracks me up that our accents are so different just a few hours away. If that's not enough, after the southern accent comment, she thought we were from Indiana. Indiana? Seriously girl? That's midwest, but our guess was that she must've thought Indiana was in the south? Who knows, poor girl. Learn some geography people.

Still at Subway, that store gave us a few more stories. Her buddy was helping make the subs and I give her my card that keeps track of your Subway points as I pay. She then says a penny is left on it. I'm sitting there thinking, it's not a cash card, it just keeps track of points for free subs, pretty simple. So what does she do? She throws it away and says it'd be pointless to just keep the penny. Like at the tire center, this time I was the one that could barely hold on to not busting out laughing at these girls. I had to explain to her basically how to do her job, which I did in a fun and joking around way. It didn't bother me, but more amused me than anything else. She then gets it out of the garbage and sits it down right in front of her. A few seconds later after she takes my money, she's in a panic looking for my card. I let her search and then point out that it's right in front of her, doh. Another thing one of them did: I ordered some new kind of ham sub. I asked what all was included on it, thinking she would tell me the basics which that particular sub offers. Nope, what does she do this time? She points to the picture with all of the condiments and says that I can pick whatever. Thanks for enlightening me with that bright piece of information, idiot. These girls were either that out of it or my southern charm worked, hah. I'll say they were that out of it.



We finally get to the show and the setup was pretty nice. It was in a fairly new building and I was a fan of that. For anyone who hasn't been to good independent wrestling before, you're missing out. You get your money's worth at these shows and then some, just minutes upon being there. We have nice seats there and Spank made a comment that was sad but true. He jokes that 97% of the people in the crowd were obese and it was ridiculous. I don't expect to see the world's healthiest people at a wrestling show obviously, but is it really that tough to stay in at least halfway ok shape? I've said it before, but it can't be fun to be that big and then give up on yourself without even trying to better yourself. Maybe I'm weird on that. Spank's 97% comment was pretty accurate. We saw some amazing matches that night. Our favorite was easily Austin Aries taking on Roderick Strong. They put on a clinic. The main event of KENTA and El Generico taking on Nigel McGuinness (current ROH World Champion) and Davey Richards. This was my first time seeing KENTA (yes, spelled in caps) and he's impressive. Everyone in that match held their own and brought it. Then we had the best wrestler in the world today, Bryan Danielson taking on Mike Quackenbush. It was also my first time seeing Quack in person, one of indy wrestling's best. A technical war right here and these guys are veterans of the game. Search around for ROH DVDs or even go to a show, you won't be disappointed one bit.

We're on our way home and stop at a gas station to find some road food. I wanted something to drink and out of nowhere they have protein shakes in there. At a gas station? Go figure. Due to the weirdness of that, we loaded up on some Muscle Milk. I got Strawberries 'N Creme and it's out of this world good. It's a 14 ounce shake and it has 25 grams of protein inside as well as all the other vitamins you'd need. It's a bit expensive, but as far as taste and what you get, it's awesome. There is a funny story at the same gas station. As I was paying, I noticed this older woman behind me. Inside the store, there was an ATM machine in there. Nothing out of the ordinary, right? She had this weird voice to begin with and was wondering if they had an ATM machine in the place. It was only less than 10 feet away from her, but I guess she didn't look, but how she asked it is good stuff. Don't you just say he letters, A, T, and M when you are associating that? Not her. "Do you have an Adam machine?" I guess that's how I'd type out how she'd pronounce it without just saying the letters. Who does that? The worker looked at her like she was nuts and I was walked out the door busting out.



I haven't done a movie review in a while, so I might as well jump in with that. The movie in question? Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li. To begin with, this movie enticed me enough just because it's based on the video game, but with a twist. Also, Street Fighter is the best fighting game of all time, I won't even argue that. Sure, I like Mortal Kombat and those, but they can't compare to Street Fighter in my mind. To date myself, it didn't get much better at the arcades when the place was packed and you were just demolishing everyone who stepped up in the game to do battle. Once the crowd gathered around the arcade, you knew you were tearing things up and people would get amped. Even if you're not a fan of video game and don't even know of it, you can still watch the movie. The storyline was nice, I'll give it that, but I wish the fight scenes were a bit better. Overall, this wasn't great, but I am still partial. The girl who played Chun-Li (Kristin Kreuk) did a pretty good job as did Bison (Neal McDonough) and Balrog (Michael Clarke Duncan). Duncan is 51 years old and the dude is jacked out of his mind, he's a freak. Chris Klein however, he was a terrible cast call for this movie. With all of that said, I'm giving this one 6.1 hadoukens out of 10. Shouryuken! I say if you're a fan of SF, go for it. If not, stay away.

I'll end with a quick deal on fantasy baseball. I'm in two leagues this year. Anymore than that, I wouldn't feel like I'd give my undivided attention to each. One is a 30-man keeper league that is crazy deep and it's called Chin Music. We have a roster of 55 players and it branches down to the low minors. You have to track your salary cap, contract years, etc. It's intense. Then we get to the big daddy, also known as A#BL. This is an 18-man keeper league with the #basketball/Lobstah group of ours that has been around for quite a while. Enough of that, it's time to list my team. In my opinion, I think I have the best infield in the league. I have a strategy every year, whether wrong or right, I tend to draft youth and potential. I also love average and speed and am not as big on homers as everyone else seems to be. Ladies and gentlemen, your 2009 St. Paul Apostles:



1. David Wright: 3B (Mets) *Keeper*
2. Johan Santana: SP (Mets) *Keeper*
3. Brandon Phillips: 2B (Reds) *Keeper*
4. Prince Fielder: 1B (Brewers) *Keeper*
5. Justin Upton: OF (Diamondbacks) *Keeper*
6. Stephen Drew: SS (Diamondbacks)
7. Jayson Werth: OF (Phillies)
8. Chien-Ming Wang: SP (Yankees)
9. Adam "Pacman" Jones: OF (Orioles)
10. Dioner Navarro: C (Rays)
11. Jair Jurrjens: SP (Braves)
12. Denard Span: OF (Twins)
13. Wandy Rodriguez: SP (Astros)
14. Kendry Morales: 1B/OF (Angels)
15. Grant Balfour: RP (Rays)
16. Brad Ziegler: RP (Athletics)
17. Gaby Sanchez: 1B (Marlins)
18. Juan Pierre: OF (Dodgers)
19. Asdrubal Cabrera: 2B (Indians)
20. Cory Wade: RP (Dodgers)

Birds' Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: We're going to the true Dirty Dirty in the ATL. www.myspace.com/downsoutheyecandy

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: Hood Fight! These are usually priceless. The punches these guys throw are pretty pathetic. There's even a guy with a Cookie Monster backpack there. Then one busts out some brass knuckles. Entertainment right here.





3 Quick Thangs:

1. Let's try some birthdays for Friday, March 27th. Who are we rolling out onto our carpet? Director Quentin Tarantino (more famous for Pulp Fiction, but go watch Reservoir Dogs right now) is 46. Footballer Randall Cunningham, also 46. You want another at 46? That'd be Easy Ed Pinckney of Celtics and Villanova 1985 fame. One of wrestling's all time greats, Kenta Kobashi, 42. We have who still ranks as probably the hottest celebrity in my mind, Mariah Carey, 39. I'll leave that for arguments. Staying on the singing path, we have Fergie who is 34 and I wouldn't have guessed quite that old. Brenda Song of Zack and Cody, 21.

2. You know what is underrated? Sunflower seeds. That's right, a good time killer and the taste is good too. Right now I'm chowing down on some David brand and it has to be original. None of the weird flavors for me. Softball season they come in handy too and we'll be playing again near summer, which I'll update everyone on of course.

3. Today's fact that you might not be aware of? The placement of a donkey's eyes in its head, enables it to see all four feet at all times.

High Heels, Tough Love, & Coach Goes Nuts!

You know what's bad times? That's when you have part of your blog typed up and it vanishes into thin air. I was typing up some of it and saved it at work. Then when I come home to load it up, I had a page already saved as well from what I worked on with a draft. I forgot to load the one from work and saved the home version and there ya go, gone. Oh well, time to start this beast over. So what's been happening lately? This week we celebrated green for St. Patrick's Day. Everyone knows I wear that just about everyday between my Celtics and Notre Dame gear, so that was just an excuse to wear it more and let the world know of the rough years I suffered through with the Celtics to now where I can wear champion merchandise. Another thing, people are asking where this week's blog is at. When that happens, I best get to typing before someone comes and goes all Chris Brown on me. Let's get it going!



Some of the local people saw this story earlier in the week. I was sitting at the table, minding my business and tearing into some homemade spaghetti and meatballs. It doesn't get much better than that if you ask me. The parents had the local news on and I check it out on a fairly regular basis. As far as national news, I could care less about that garbage. I just don't find that stuff interesting, for it's the same stories everyday. Anyways, as I'm sitting there eating, they have a story on port-a-potty systems and how they are cleaned. I know they need to be cleaned, but our news crew actually gets the camera deep inside the pot to show you what's up. For real now? We all know what's in there, no reason to show that mess. I'm not one that freaks out over that stuff like some may, but they could've went without that for sure. Only in West Virginia. That's the level of news we get here. In actual cities you get your crime news, murders, and all of that. Then again, I wouldn't want to live anywhere else at the moment. Blahah though mentioned on our message board that he read a piece that says West Virginia is the unhappiest state at the moment. If you were wondering, yes, I finished my plate of spaghetti.

I'm on a decent running schedule as of late. Enough to keep me going aside from also playing ball and working out regularly. I was down on my town's trail where I do most of my running. One thing I never understood was dogs. Not so much dogs in general, but exercise and dogs. I can see if you take your dogs to the trail and walk them leisurely. A few people on Wednesday when I ran though, they're actually running along with their dogs on a leash. That seems to work for a bit of time and then the dog will give up, wizz on a tree, or be an all around idiot to screw up your running pace. I don't even have a dog, but just seeing this drives me wild. Maybe I'm weird, but when I'm a run, I'm not out there goofing around and having something mess up my pace. But for the people who can keep that pace with the dog, more power to em. Maybe they're just happy to get out there at half speed, but that's not me. This week though, I saw this chick that was about 45 and a dude pushing 60. To me, that's great to see people of that age actually getting it going with a run and actually putting some effort into it. Women especially, you barely see any young ones run in my area, let alone in the 40s and 50s, so I have to give credit where it's due. Not all of them can run like Kristen in Germany, who is featured again later in the blog.



Now a trip to the gas station. No certain one, just a gas station. It could be in Alaska, Iowa, even New Hampshire. You get the picture. You're there pumping your heart away at the station and look to see the price of the day. You're stuck paying it regardless, so people that complain about gas prices, what's it going to do anyways? The other day it was $1.99 here for the cheap stuff. When you go to most places, it posts the prices exact. For example, it'll say $1.99 9/10. Basically you're paying $2.00. The same theory behind store prices for anything is what I compare it to. Why is something $49.99? Why not just a cool even $50 to make it look all easy to deal with? It doesn't matter at all in the end, but it's just strange to me. I know to some people people look at that as being less than $50 and maybe that sells them, who knows. I just like things easy and straight to the point. Nine tenths of a penny? Come on people. You can't even factor that out. Also at gas stations, a thumbs down to pumps that don't have the piece that you can lock in that will pump it automatically to fill it up without you holding on.

Here's one I'll give an opinion on from my personal perspective. High heels on girls. Why would I talk about this? Why not? It keeps you on your toes, this instance, literally. I know I'm definitely in the minority, but high heels on a girl don't do a whole lot for me. It seems awkward to me and although it may look good in a skirt, I'm not a huge fan one way or the other. Besides, I don't need a girl looking to present herself as a giant. That's not attractive to me, but I know some guys go wild for that. I'll chalk high heels up with bright red lipstick on my scale of overrated things. Most times though, the chicks feel more sexy in heels or whatever, but I'm fairly easy to please. No heels unless necessary if you're asking me, but again, what do I know? Not a lot.



It's that time of year. What would that be? Even if you're not a college basketball fan, you know what it's all about. We're down to the 64 teams to fight it out till their death. Well, not that intense, but you know what I'm after. I always love picking brackets, but for the past several years, I've done fairly horrible. A lot of it is luck of course, but I'm one that tends to pick a few extra upsets than your average guy. Also, I'm not one that picks 10 different brackets. I'm in a few different ones and stick with the same bracket in all. As Mike Greenberg would say, I go for the integrity. Golic goes for the cash, but I wouldn't be able to keep track of different brackets and it wouldn't be fun since you'd be rooting against yourself in some cases. Most won't care, but I'm going to reveal my picks just because. I'll go from my Elite 8 and down. There I have Louisville, Michigan State, UConn, Marquette, Florida State, Nova, UNC, and Syracuse. Final Four time and it's Michigan State against UConn and FSU versus UNC. Finals I have UNC over Michigan State, 85-73. Yeah, a homer pick, I know. There ya go, free advice to bet on the games with. Take it and do what you wish, I'm sure my bracket will be messed up by this weekend.

Idol this week? We're now down to 10 people. That's the number that goes on tour for the summer, so that is locked in. I've been money lately. For the past 3 weeks, I've been right on who has been booted. I'm usually not good at that stuff, but maybe it's a sign. This week, Pink Hair Alexis gets send packing. Now she'll be online way too much like the rest of us with nothing better to do. I wasn't big on her, but I know a decent amount of people backed her. At this point, I think Gokey is the favorite. I like him though, he's cool with me. The two I'm rooting for at this point more than him would be Anoop Dogg as I wrote about before and Emo Adam. He's a weirdo, but I think he's talented. If you saw this week's performance, it was way over the top and straight up strange, I'll admit. At the end of this week's show, mom was talking to one of her 85 year old buddies. The old woman wanted to know who I was rooting for and we had basically the same people, so she was pumped. Old people rock. Listen to em, you might learn something.



A new TV show recommendation for people like me who have too much time on their hands. This one was sent along to me by The_Freak and I figured I'd give it a chance on the opening week. On Sunday nights, tune in to VH1 and watch Tough Love. If you're all about the crazy drama on TV that serves no purpose other than entertainment, this is for you. This show has a group of chicks who are trying to find the right guy or learn more about themselves. I'm not even sure of the entire concept. Either way, the host is a guy and he gives his honest opinions to these chicks who are mostly hot. They're the types that can basically get a guy to get with them anytime they want, but nobody takes seriously. It's too honest for some, but that's what these girls signed up on the show for. They wouldn't hear that in the general population for the most part since they get by on being hot. The host holds nothing back at all and you get your money's worth, at least from the first episode. I could see some getting offended by this show, but it's a good watch, give it a whirl if you're all about crazy drama and people whining. That's some good TV watching if you ask me.

What does the next blog hold in store for all? I'm not quite sure and that's always the joy of writing these things up. It all depends on what strange and out there things that happen in my world which I can ramble on about. I do have a little road trip planned for Friday though, for it's a wrestling trip. I'm off to Elizabeth, Pennsylvania after work for a Ring of Honor Wrestling show. I've been to several ROH shows in Cleveland, but the return to the Pittsburgh area is back and I can't be anymore pumped. I won't bore you with too much wrestling talk, but if you're a wrestling fan, you know of ROH for sure, they're that good. Some of the greatest wrestling there is, bar none. Also, it features in my opinion, the best wrestler in the world today, Bryan Danielson. Most haven't heard of him if you're just a mainstream fan and that's a shame, but look him up, he's no joke. It's time to get educated on Danielson. Other than that, we'll find something in the mix to talk about next week. Send me some ideas and I'll always consider.



Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: Arizona Jas is taking the week off from giving us a new girl. In her place, we go to Germany Kristen for this week's edition. This chick has a good body, I'll give her that, but the face, ouch. I won't bash it too much, but you'll see what I mean. Hard to tell what the guy from Tough Love would be saying. www.myspace.com/miss_beauty85

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: The locals will know this guy for sure, but I'll introduce the clip to the masses. Coach Basile, son of legendary Angelo Basile, as he puts on quite the show at high school basketball games in West Virginia. It's 8 minutes worth of excellence, one of my favorite vids in a while. We're talking dropkicks, beating his head on the scorer's table, getting his crowd all riled up, running onto the court, and the whole works. Even with that, the guy is a real good coach. I've watched it a good 10 times at least already. You won't be disappointed. This is for everyone, basketball fan or not. Enjoy.





3 Quick Thangs:

1. I haven't plugged any other blogs lately, so it's time for that. Cali Jas, a regular in here, she's was out of the posting fun for a month and a half. After a little break, she's back in action and we might as well make mention of that since you people obviously have reading time on your hands if you're reading my stuff. She disappointed me with the Slumdog review, but our movie reviews are always completely opposite, so that makes it fun. How can you walk out on that movie? For shame, hah. Anyways, go here if you get a chance. Drop a comment off on her blog if you want to as well, it only takes a second: http://msjazzie.blogspot.com

2. Why not hit up some birthdays for Friday, March 20th? That's also the first day of spring. Mr. Rogers would've been 81 today. Hall of Fame basketball coach Pat Riley, architect of the 1980s Showtime Lakers, 64 and some of the greasiest hair you'll ever see. Hockey great Bobby Orr, 61. Director Spike Lee, 52. Actress Holly Hunter, she goes for her 51st. Sports Illustrated model Kathy Ireland, 46 and still looking pretty good. Chester Bennington, vocalist for Linkin Park and known for his tats, 33. Nick Wheeler, guitarist for the All-American Rejects, 27. That's about all I have on that end. It's a day past and I've already told her, but we'd like to wish Cousin Kari a Happy 25th for she celebrated that on Wednesday!

3. Today's fact to feast on that I didn't know, but most of you probably already do.. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

Gangsta Leanin' At The Car Wash

We're back after a little over a week. As I always say, when people start wondering where the latest edition is, I better get the fingers typing like a madman to get some topics in. Either that or risk the mob looting my house as they drive up in a black Caddy filled with greasy haired dudes with ball bats. What will go down during this second week of March? We'll hit up automatic car washes in what I think will get a decent reaction for something that you wouldn't expect to be good, dogs getting zapped, an update on the Celebrity Deathpool, Idol's Top 13, and whatever else we can push in. It's time to get started..



Here's one to throw in that no common sense category. The topic? Automatic car washes. First off, in my opinion, these things are garbage. It speaks highly on the lazy scale. I guess if you wanted a quick fix and wanted to spend 10 times what it's worth, it's all you. Me personally, I'd rather do it myself and it turns out much better anyways. Plus you save money. Now onto the story. I got a call from one of my aunts the other day and the guy that normally washes her car said it was supposed to rain and he wasn't going to take her money in a rain situation. Good dude, I gotta respect that. Due to that, she asks me a big favor, if I'd take her car and run it through the wash. Granted, this is one of my older aunts, not the ones most of you are probably thinking. It is only about a mile from my house, so I figured I'd drive it down there, run it through, and be back home. It seems easy enough, right?

I've ran my car through an automatic one time in my entire life. I wanted to try it just because and see what the hype was. By the time it was done and what you spend, it wasn't worth it to me. It didn't even wash it all. I know most of your areas have had these for years, but my little town has only had it for a couple if that. The place I go to had options from $5 up to $8 for the big daddy. My aunt said she didn't matter which one I picked and to go for the best they had. I put in $8 and the robot voice tells me to pull through. I drive up where the lines are and the green light is still saying "go" inside the bay. I pull up right to where I thought I needed to be and the green go light was on. I then thought for a second that maybe that machine just took my money and it was still telling the guy that went before me to pull out and cruise town. I then put it in reverse and drive back through to the end of the bay. No luck yet, still green for go. I must've backed in and out of that bay 5 times. If someone was watching me during this, they would've had a great laugh. The scene is now set and I can't believe I'm about to go into my 3rd paragraph on automatic car washes.



I'm starting to get a little fired up and realize how much I hate these things and was about to pull it in the next bay and do it myself. I then put in $8 again (this time, out of my own pocket) and try to drive through. I feel like I'm driving too far into this thing and didn't want to scrape anything. I go to a point that I couldn't back out of next and finally! Yep, the little indicator tells me to stop, imagine that. Idiot me was only about a foot behind where I needed to be to begin with. Any normal person would've been able to figure these things out, but apparently I screwed it all up. In the end, the car was clean, but not impressive to me. The aunt liked it and that happened to one of my good deeds of the week, minus $8 from my own pocket, nice. That's what I get for having zero common sense I guess. Who else can mess up an automatic car wash?

I was at Posey's on Saturday night for the latest UFC extravaganza, UFC 96. I won't bore anyone with going through the entire card, but it was a nice show indeed. It had a ton of knockouts and guys getting lit up. The main event for anyone that didn't check by now, Rampage beat Keith Jardine by decision in what was a pretty good match. Anyways, I've talked about Posey's crazy dogs before. They're like the other characters that randomly pop up in the blog and you remember them. I go up there for the pay per view and the craziest dog of the two (Dexter) is just out of control. As soon as you step in, he goes ballistic. Posey decided to get one of those expensive dog zappers that you can at first to warn the dog if they go crazy and then zap them if they keep it up. Yeah, the ones they wear around their necks. Spank was in charge of the zapper for the night and he ran it like a champ. Not much warning was given, Spank would crank it if Dexter went wild. Animal enthusiasts frown on this idea I'm sure, but it definitely works. Big Dex was good the rest of the night basically unless he needed zapped. Lexie (the Taco Bell dog) used to be the same way. Now, she's all cool and tame. I'm usually not a fan of tiny dogs, but Lexie is fine in my book now that she doesn't bark nonstop. Dogs, that's all you have to do to get on my good side. I have pretty simple rules.



How is Kasher's Celebrity Deathpool fairing so far? As of today, none of us have picked a person who has died yet. I guess for the betterment of the human population, that is a good thing. It's a fine line playing that game and it's immoral, but deep down, you know it's interesting, even if it is wrong. 10 more months left, anything can and will happen. This is my 5th year playing and I haven't ended up so well. In 3 of the 5 years though, I had at least one person who did drop off, but just didn't get enough points to win the thing. A recap for when I gave my list in January, but here is who I have pegged in 2009: Scott Hall (Razor Ramon), Raven, and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan of wrestling fame, Patrick Swayze, head coach of Notre Dame Charlie Weis, former Guns N Roses mate Stephen Adler, Amy Winehouse, old time baseballer Bob Feller, Nancy Reagan, and comedian Artie Lange. For what it's worth, ManDingo has all three Jonas Brothers.

We're down to the Top 13 of American Idol that starts on Tuesday night. During the main cut rounds, I've predicted the last 6 people right. I said I should go to Vegas with that luck, but it'd change in no time. The list? Kris Allen, Tat Sleeve Megan, Anoop Dogg, Matt Giraud-Timberlake, Gokey, Pink Hair Alexis, Purple Hair Allison, Emo Boy Adam, Blind Dude, Mississippi Jasmine, Jorge, Lil Rounds, and Oil Rig Michael. If you don't get a nickname from me, you must not be too important on the Idol scene. Either that or you're just plain boring. Right now, and things change, I'm rooting for Anoop Dogg, Kris, Gokey, Emo Adam, and Lil. I like some of the others, but that's my short list. I think right now Gokey and Lil are the favorites, but it's way early. There's nobody at this point that I'm absolutely rooting against, so I guess that's a good thing, right? I'm sure in due time someone will jump out as the villain.



My town doesn't have a whole lot going for it, but I'd rather live here than anywhere right now. Someone could do a documentary just on the town legends around. You see some straight up characters here, some good, some bad. Take for example this little scene that Spank and I saw on our way home from Posey's on Saturday. It was around 12:30 in the morning and we're a mile away from home. Near one of the local bars, we see this guy in town who rides around in a motorized scooter type getup. Nothing out of the ordinary, people in town get along with the dude. To us, it's just another guy on the streets. That night though, he's coming down the hill on a sidewalk in his cart and is doing the gangsta lean on it. He's all hanging towards the side and I needed a picture just to capture that moment, it was that good. For the Atlantic City crew, it can't top gangsta pimp strut guy, but it is still worthy. Spank said the dude was cruising around for chicks doing that. Hey, whatever works. Maybe I should try that on for size and film the reactions of the girls just for laughs.

Bird's Dirty Thug Ho of the Week: I knew once I saw the message that this one had potential. This one I didn't even have to open the page up and figured we might have something when it said "freakaleak", not to be confused with our very own The_Freak. This chick gets bonus points from me for being an Italian chick, she's dirty, and also plays Mobsters, such an underrated game. She loses points for being a weedhead, but you can't win em all. Anyways, this week's contribution, straight from Arizona Jas. This dirty is one of her friends' buddies, easy searching there. www.myspace.com/_freakaleak_757_

Bird's Video Moment of the Week: As long as you're not the one getting hurt, you have to admit, you enjoy watching someone fall and bust themselves. It's like a car crash, you're at least going to look. In this one, we have a drunk dude who takes a manhole cover off for no reason and then falls into it. How does that not break his arm? He gets right back up, but what are the two dorks doing on the side? Are they Star Wars nerds? I have no clue.





3 Quick Thangs:

1. Let's try some birthdays for Tuesday, March 10th. James Earl Ray, the man who murdered Martin Luther King would be 81 today, but he's been gone for 11 years. I don't consider him a celebrity, but he's a known name if nothing else, but not in a good way. The one and only Chuck Norris, he's 69, dang. 69 and still buff, something about that just isn't right. Miss November 1981 and softcore porn chick Shannon Tweed, 52. Actress Sharon Stone, she's doing it up for her 51st. Jasmine Guy, aka Whitley Gilbert from A Different World fame, 45. Prince Edward goes for his 44th. Honestly, he could walk in my room now and I wouldn't know who he was I'm sure. Olympic gymnastic chick Shannon Miller, 32.

2. I'm almost 2 weeks in to not having any pop, candy, tea, or junk food. Some thought I'd never last that long, without candy especially. It hasn't been too hard thus far, but I can't wait till the time is up and Easter hits when I can go nuts on that stuff. I'll need a huge thing of sweet tea, Doritos and hot sauce, Samoas Girl Scout Cookies, and of course Cadbury eggs.

3. This week's weird fact? Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey. Also, Jersey may go on record to having the meanest people as a group in my travel experiences. They don't have a clue on southern hospitality, acting all hard and stuff. To each their own I guess. Talk to you guys next week!