Thursday, May 27, 2004

Neighborhood Drama

I'll get to the subject of this post's title in a bit, but for now I'll run through my day so far. I got to play Health and Gym teacher today for high school. Actually there was nothing to teach. I have 2 Fast 2 Furious and Head Of State rented for a week because I know I'd be showing movies all week. Normally you would think kids would go wild with a sub, but with me, at least high school, they're awesome. But put in 2 Fast 2 Furious and you don't hear a peep. This is my 3rd day of showing it (different classes, but at the same day), but I still had some of the same kids more than once. It just so happens that these kids didn't care. They could watch this movie 1000 times and not get tired with it. At first I didn't think it was that great, but after watching it all week, probably about 7 or 8 times maybe at least, it's growing on me pretty good. Also, during my first class today, one kid brought in the Bruce Almighty DVD and the kids ate it up. A great movie there and it kept their interest.

Graduation at the school I'm at all week was last night (I still find it crazy weird when some schools have graduation during the week), so the gym had chairs and stuff all over it. Thus, no inside ball. Still though, we managed to play a little Home Run Derby with a big whiffleball bat type deal with rubber and foam, and a little yellow "warball". Dodgeball to me is always warball. Just seems weird to call it dodgeball. Back in my day, it was warball. We got a little fast pitch in and it was pretty neat. Not a lot of kids to play, but we just goofed off. And even though the basketball rims were up, I still managed to get a ball out and work on the dribbling skills, being the whitey PG that I am. Always fun there, but kind of funny to try in dress clothes. Still, I was able to thug it out pretty good with the ball..

Now onto Neighborhood Drama. After mowing grass, I swept the sidewalks and made sure everything was spiffy clean. Upon doing the neighbor's sidewalk, I notice that my neighbor's daughter was in. She's from Myrtle Beach (her Mom lives beside me for those not following) and I've met her before. She's my age and looks quality. She leaves to go back home tonight, but out of nowhere, she tells me this story. Her boyfriend has been staying at this house and working for the Mom's boyfriend, who is somewhat of a local legend businessman, for about 3 weeks or so now. I've gotten to know him and he can fix just about anything and seemed like a good guy. Until the story I got today..

The daughter and I were talking in the mean streets of E-Town. And she tells me that a few days ago the boyfriend put the beatdowns to her. He kicked her in the face, choked her (no Crossface Chickenwing though), punched on her, and all of that abuse. On a sidenote, I don't get it. How can a dude bust up on a chick? No matter how mad they may be at each other, a guy will go off 99% of the time on a helpless chick if he really wanted to get physical. The exception would be if you're hooked up with Leila Ali, daughter of Muhammad Ali for those in a coma.

Anyways, this girl has a concealed weapons permit, so she had 3 guns on her. They were next to the bed at the hotel they were staying at that is owned by the businessman who lives by me. So, fearing that he was about to get the gun and light her up, she smashes the box the guns were in, and the cartridges go flying all over, thus none of the guns are loaded at this point. She was able to grab her cell phone, but didn't want her boyfriend to know what the deal was. She was able to somehow dial her Mom who was the last number she called. She couldn't talk, but on the message machine, her Mom has 5 messages of the chick getting beat down.

Through all of this, 17 cop cars come to bust the scene after they hear about the madness. Our joke of a city cop crew, State Police, and some others rolled in. Now the dude lost his license over this, can't leave the state (and he's not even from WV), and is currently locked up, possibly serving 12 months in jail. She seemed to think that was a given.

I don't get out much.. I'm in this rinky dink town and don't hear drama. So I'm sitting there after mowing, dripping in sweat, and just listening to her spill this story. Then one of my neighbors, who is a 8th Grader I have in class rolls by. He's buddies with the girl's Mom and boyfriend and is sort of like a handman dude for them (mowing grass, carrying stuff, etc). While he comes up to talk to me, she doesn't stop. Cussing and telling the story into detail. I know 8th Graders see crazy stuff nowadays, but I don't think the kid had a clue what was going on.

So now.. the chick is going back home to Myrtle Beach, SC. Taking her Mom with her for a month to get her out of the area. Looked pretty good, is now single, leaves tonight and the house was empty for a bit until her Mom got back.. but she has my #1 turn-off. She's a smoker, doh! Still an interesting story to hear in my town that I thought all of you guys would enjoy.

3 comments:

J.D. said...

Didn't that dude know you can lose your drivers license for beating on your chick? Doesn't he drive around and see those billboards?

Seriously, lock that feller up. Can you blame that chick for smoking having to put up with that dude? Besides, you don't want to mess with her if she's packing heat.

josh said...

The only thing that ruins that story is that the chick looks decent. For that to be a true WV/Ark. story, it would need to be a nasty trailer whore out there with 6 teeth missing, yelling to the entire neighborhood about how her man beats her and she's going to shoot him one day. If she had on Wal-Mart flip-flops, bright pink short shorts and an old oversized Garfield t-shirt with the cig dangling from her mouth, that would've been excellent.

Anyway that's a crazy story, I don't guess I've got anything that good or close. It wasn't really what I was expecting though when you got it started. I thought I was about to read one of those classic "hot girl moves in next door for the summer" hook-up stories. Alas, the Birdman shut out again :(

Next time when she goes to light up, tell her you've got something else she can smoke, then pull out the magic stick.

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