I like to touch all bases in here to have you feasting for more immense information. That’s why I’m about to treat you to a story from the depths of Appalachia. Or as Snoop Dogg would say in the infamous Who Am I:
From the depths of the sea, back to the block
Snoop Doggy Dogg, funky as the, the, The D.O.C
Went solo on that ass, but it's still the same
Long Beach is the spot where I served my cane
This one I will enjoy to tell. An online friend of mine was chatting away as usual, when out of nowhere, BANG! She had to leave the computer for a bit because.. I’m not sure you’re ready for this, but here we go: One of her baby donkeys was outside choking. Needless to say, I was interested already from the get-go. She finally came back online and I wanted updates. You think it is exciting to see a big trade run across ESPN’s ticker at the bottom of the screen. You’ve never had the all important Donkey Update straight out of the farmlands of West Virginia. Anyways, the donkey ended up having a muscle spasm in his neck. Who knows, who knew?! He was able to breathe just fine, so that’s a relief. Then I was told the names of all the donkeys on her land and that was entertaining in itself. I wish I had saved it though. The moral of this story? When you sit online 24/7, and you’re bored to death, you never know when your night can change instantly by the elusive Donkey Update. Consider yourself lucky to be able to know that story. It’s one where words can’t do it justice, it was hilarious.
Now it’s time for the RAW Report. Last night featured not one, but TWO (BOFTH of em!) Cage Matches. Our first was the 10:00 main event with Triple H facing Eugene. What this one marks was HHH leaving Eugene a bloody mess. Good ‘Ol JR was worked up, calling HHH the Cerebral Assassin (one of my favorite wrestling nicknames) about 249 times. At the end of the show, Orton took on Kane. It was labeled a disqualification and HHH runs out to lower the cage. Note, the first part of this match was a regular match. Bischoff urges the ref to restart the match in the cage. Rage in the cage! What I may end up doing each week is to put JR’s exact quotes as RAW ends. That cracks me and my buddies up every single time. This week goes as: “Orton trying to get the hell out of here! Orton is on the steel cage again! Triple H has got him! Triple H has got Orton! Triple H is gonna pull Orton back in! Orton fighting! Fighting for survival here! They’re on top of the cage again! Orton has avoided destruction! Randy Orton has been more cerebral than the Cerebral Assassin! Randy Orton has been more physical tonight than Triple H, King! More dominant! Randy Orton has outplayed The Game! This is Orton’s destiny! To be made the World Champion! This Sunday at Unforgiven!” Unforgiven is this Sunday and it’s a strong card. I won’t bore you with the rest of RAW, but let’s just say that Jericho and Christian have a LADDER MATCH on Sunday! I’m pumped for that one as both of these guys should be able to go good in this type of match. We haven’t had this type of match for a while either, so we’re due. Cork predicted this right on the nose that it’d be a Ladder Match. More on the card later in the week.
I’m sitting here at ManDingo High (most of my sub days are here as they hook me up something proper like). I don’t have access to a login name here for the internet at the school, so I can’t update my Blog online at work. Thus, I have so much time to kill that I’m writing this out by hand (old school baby!). At the moment, I have four kids in my class, I kid you not, no pun intended. I have my planning period for my last class, so I’m done for the day at 1:20. That’s an awesome deal for sure. My kids now had work to do in the computer lab and they’re finished. Since we’re at the end of the hall, nobody bothers us. They’re jamming away, as long as they don’t blast it, it’s cool with me. What do they listen to? One boy has been listening to nothing but Eminem and 2Pac. His buddy next to him is listening to a mixture between some hardcore metal as well as being up on his rap game. Quite the combo indeed. To the other side of the room is two girls listening to JoJo, Nelly, and Usher. I like Usher stuff, but is there a girl of any age who doesn’t like him? Vegas needs odds on that. And if that paragraph is confusing, remember I wrote that down on paper first, so just pretend that I typed it up in class.
On paper, it looks as if I have a bunch written. I hope it’s that way after I type it up, but I doubt it will be. Anyways, my hand is tired, so more to come in a few days. In that edition, I will talk about the new season of Real World and whatever else goes down. One.
Since one of my kids was jamming Eminem and we haven’t heard much Em solo lately since he’s doing D12 stuff, I’ll post the two chorus bits of one of my favorites.
Rapper: Eminem – Song: Marshall Mathers – Album: The Marshall Mathers LP
You see I'm, just Marshall Mathers (Marshall Mathers)
I'm just a regular guy,
I don't know why all the fuss about me (fuss about me)
Nobody ever gave a fuck before,
all they did was doubt me (did was doubt me)
Now everybody wanna run they mouth
and try to take shots at me (take shots at me)
Cause I'm, just Marshall Mathers (Marshall Mathers)
I'm not a wrestler guy,
I'll knock you out if you talk about me (you talk about me)
Come and see me on the streets alone
if you assholes doubt me (assholes doubt me)
And if you wanna run your mouth
then come take your best shot at me (your best shot at me)