Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Fear Wal-Mart

Let’s not waste any time here. I’m jumping right to it. Yep, Real World Philadelphia started up last night and I can’t be anymore excited. Yeah, it’s sad that I’m hooked to this show, but at least I admit it and you all know you like it too. We have what should be an interesting crew this year with tons of drama scheduled, at least on the previews, so I hope it delivers. I doubt we match CT or Brad from the past few seasons, but hopefully we can get someone half as good. Right now I’m going to run down each of the roomies in this episode, straight from Philly.

I’m going through these as they were introduced on TV, so that’s why you get this order. First we have MJ, a 23 year old curly haired buff dude who played football at Vanderbilt. He even got some NFL camp tryouts, so he’s no joke as far as that side of things go. He supposedly only likes blonde girls and he’s our resident redneck of the bunch, although not as neck as you’d expect. Next we have Melanie, a 21 year old Education major from Cali. It’s tough to judge these people from one week, but oh well. She’s a blonde with hair way too short for my standards. No drama with her in the first episode, but one of the dudes goes nuts on her next week. Our third person is Karamo. Upon first look, he’s this gangsta thug who is into rap and the like. He very well may be, but he’s also gay. And he’s not fruity gay, he’s a masculine gay if there’s a such a thing. More on this later, but Karamo is 23 and from Houston.

Sarah, 23 and from Tampa, is our porn chick of the bunch. First, she has fake tits. That’s fine by me, no biggie. Not that I’d know anything about them in person, but you know how that goes. Anyways, she’s always talking about how she can’t go without a guy for a few days and on the first day was all over the guys in the house. She had all the guys in the house feel her fake tits, so I’m sure she’ll be major drama. She looks real good, but not my type right off the bat anyways. Maybe she won’t be dirty all year, who knows. Our fifth person is Landon, straight out of thuggish ruggish Wisconsin. He’s another curly haired dude who just got out of a 7-year relationship, dang. Anyways, he’s ready to bust out all over these chicks, and so far is buddies with MJ, so we’ll see what kind of action they get into.

Two more to go. Up next is Shavonda, a 24 year old Hooters working black chick. Mmm.. Now this is good times here. She doesn’t seem to be gangsta, but that’s ok. She’s dating a whitey right now and next week’s preview has her going crazy on him over a phone call. Then from what I could tell (maybe I’m wrong here?) she and Landon hook up in the future. Lastly, we have Big Willie Style. Actually, he’s tiny, and the only style he has to him is being overly gay. So yep, we have two gays in the house, both opposites of their “gayness” I guess. I realize every Real World season has to have the token gay guy, but two? Why not throw in a criminal in there every now and then to mix it up? How about a crackhead? A mute? Snoop Dogg? I guess that adds to the drama, but not the drama that makes for good TV in my opinion. These guys aren’t going to get crazy drunk and make fools of theirselves, rumble, or any of that stuff. Karamo may though, who knows, but MJ tells him how it is next week from the looks of things? I guess I’m just never around gay guys. I don’t have anything against them just as long as they’re not all over each other in front of me. Then again, I don’t like seeing dudes with their chicks all over each other in person, so I guess it goes both ways.

What do we have now? We have two straight guys, two gay guys, two single chicks, and one chick with a man. Yet, MJ has a chick from back home whom he’s been with for two months and he doesn’t want to jeopardize that, but we all know what happens in the Real World. The porn chick will get what she wants off him in the end, he won’t be able to resist. Also, Shavonda looks to be on the outs with her man too, so we’ll see how that one pans out. A few other quick tidbits you want? Hmm… The house is just nuts. This is like a house you see on Cribs or something, not counting Redman’s dump. Huge trees inside the house, their bathrooms are built like NBA locker rooms, pillars everywhere, you name it. The weird part of it is that it’s in Downtown Philly for the most part. What’s up with that? Like right on the main streets, weird. Philly is a great city. I’ve been there twice and really like it. Why not put these people on the outskirts a little? The historic section of town is pimped out and nice to view as a tourist, but that’s not near my favorite part of the area. I doubt they do, but I’d like to see them go through South Philly where it’s all dirty and what you see on TV a lot. It’s ghetto, but I like that area just to say I’ve been through it. Also it’s home to the ECW Arena and Geno’s famous Philly Cheesesteak. Hopefully I’ll make another trip to Philly this year for a NBA game. My ECW trip to Philly in 2000 was my by far my favorite thing I’ve ever done. And being there for an NBA game too last year? That’s about as good as it gets. I’ll spare you some NBA talk in this Blog though, as I’m getting chills thinking about the season, but you’ll get enough of that during basketball season.

I was off work today (Wednesday) and figured I’d do something rather than sit on here for hours at a time. I’ve done enough of that already today as usual, but nothing else to do. Around 1:00 I roll to do some shopping and eating action. I hit up my Chinese place and tear that up like it’s my last meal. Today’s plate consisted of General Tso’s Chicken, Pineapple Chicken, Pork Fried Rice, Lo Mein Noodles, some other kind of noodles, Cheese Wontons, and a piece of watermelon. All for a whopping $5.30. You can’t beat that price with a stick.

Then it was off to Wal-Mart. Why I’m talking about what I bought today I have no clue, but that’s the excitement I can bring you in here. I loaded up big on some blank CDs today. Normally I buy them in packs of 50, but today I went for the 100 pack for $26 or something. I go with Memorex if anyone was wondering. $26 for 100 CDs? Again, you can’t beat that with a stick. In the stores, you’re paying $15 or whatever for a new CD. That’s fine and dandy, but why not just get them for free on here? It’s much easier, plus you can get them way before the stores can if you’re into that type of thing. I know it’s greedy, but if it’s out there, why not? Also at Wal-Mart, I was shopping away, getting some pimp gel for my hair, when out of nowhere this woman walks up. She was probably about 40 or so and for the guys out there wondering, she wasn’t MILF quality, so that was a bummer. Anyways, she looks at me and says, “Has anyone ever told you that you look just like Jeff Gordon?” I was wearing a hat and maybe since we have the same hair color or whatever, who knows? I didn’t know what to say, so I just kind of laughed and told her that I’ve never heard that one before. Made some small talk by saying that I wished I had his money, and whatever else. I found that kind of funny though and maybe you’ll enjoy it too. I crack up when people or even myself get compared to famous people. So far off the top of my head outside of the Gordon thing, I’ve been told over the years that I look like Marc Bulger of the Rams, John Stockton, and Freddie Prinze Jr. I dunno, just going on what some people have told me before, so who knows. Who knew? Who do people say you look like? Let us know.

Afterwards, I roll to Gabriel Brothers. If you’re not in West Virginia, Pennsylvania, or Ohio, you probably don’t know what Gabes is. I’m sure a couple other states have it, but not many. It’s a cheap outlet store where you can get stuff for mad prices. Usually when I go in there, I go wild buying clothes and hate myself for it. Today I held my own though. I have way too many clothes sadly. I’m like a chick when it comes to that department I think. Anyways, I didn’t go hyper today in there, as I just got two things. Well, three. I like Gabes because you can get pimp pants for real cheap. I got a pair of Sean John (Puff's company) pants today for only $20, so I’ll take that. Then I saw a buff shirt for only $7 or something, plus it was green and white with a collar (pop em) so I had to get it even if I didn’t need it. The third was some socks, but that’s not worth mentioning, but you get it anyways. Then lastly, it was a trip to the mall. Each mall trip wouldn’t feel right without tearing up a Double Doozie cookie from the Cookie Factory or whatever that shop is called. Loaded up with icing, so you can’t go wrong with that. Then it was off to Target to get a few shirts and home. Too exciting for you guys to handle huh?

Since I’ve typed up enough already, I’ll just end by saying that I’m finishing up watching the ace of my fantasy baseball staff, Johan Santana simply destroy the Orioles. Give him the Cy Young already. This is a keeper league I’m in (we keep 5 players) and before the season started, I almost did not keep Santana. Whew, good thing I decided to keep him along. Now he’s a stud. He’s striking out people left and right. Hopefully I didn’t strike out on this Blog. I think it’s at least triple-worthy. Until next time…


DirtyKash said...

Hah hah Bird, I think that it is about time that you put the CD-R's aside and load up on some DVD-R's for your copying business. CD-R's are starting to become quite obsolete, ya know.

Susie said...

hey there... We talked about the Jeff Gordon thing....I don`t see it. But Ya know???..I see the John Stockton in are to cute! ;) Take care!

josh said...

No way was that a triple. More of a double.

A ground-rule double. And that's better.

You were a few feet (and a Real World picture) short of the home run.

Cork said...

not to mention you failed to mention that Cork-dizzle talked you into keeping Yo-Han

Anonymous said...

Should have got the general tso's tofu with steamed rice ;] and put some soy sauce on it its so much better. I always love reading your blogs, they are so amazing! I love gabes, i always get crazy cheap shirts there,i think thrift stores are better, maybe because i have an obsession for small boy shirts with wierd unusual sayings on them :]


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