What in the world happened at the MTV Video Music Awards last night? Did I honestly see that show in progress? This is easily the worst MTV awards show ever in my mind. I’ll break down some of that for those who missed it. For those who missed it, don’t waste your time watching the 3 million replays they’ll show. My biggest peeve of the show was about the host. I, along with many others, was conned into thinking that Dave Chappelle would be the host for the night. As I stated in my last Blog, I was jacked up good for that. Even if the show was bad, Chappelle would’ve found a way to make it interesting. After the show was over, Chappelle was on the show for a total of probably 5 minutes, just sad.
Onto the actual meat of the show. I think the show can be summed up by 3 people. 90% of the show it seemed was revolved around Usher, Alicia Keys, and showing Jay-Z’s ugly mug in the crowd. I don’t mind Usher actually, but that doesn’t mean I want to see him on TV every 5 seconds. Alicia Keys surprised me though. Usually I’d never been big on her look. What was up with braiding half of her hair and letting the other half hang down? Was she drunk when she tried that? Last night though I have to admit she was looking real good, as her hair was actually normal and down. That works for me. Another one I was never big with is Christina Aguilera. One we’ve always called Dirty, but her new look is working for me too. Not to say she’s one of my favorite chicks out there, but at least she looks normal now instead of showing off her 248 tats. I won’t get on a tat rant here as I’m in a pretty good mood. The Olsen Twins? What’s going on here? Every guy for the past few years (and some chicks) were all excited that they turned 18 this year. Were they on crack last night? I know the one who has her hair brown now got all anorexic and stuff, but the other one was brutal as well. I must be missing out here, but count me out as a guy who doesn’t want the anorexic chick. Speaking of anorexic, we had to suffer through the stupid Gap commercial with Sarah Jessica Parker and Lenny Kravitz bouncing around. Parker is rough and weighs about 80 pounds herself. I like a little chick and all, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t want to see bones. These dirties have nothing on Mariah and Milian in my book anyways, maybe I’m weird. Give me a thicker chick anyday of the week than these chicks who look like they’re strung out on crack.
Then that brings us to Lenny. Ugh. Another one that isn’t a favorite of mine. DerekHood can attest to this one as well. While watching one of the TV staples in BET UnCut (Porno Hour) at 3:00 in the morning, they somehow think they’re funny by putting in a Lenny video regularly. What does he even have in common with the rest of the videos in this hour? Lenny, even though he’s black, acts about as white as you or me. He’s not gangsta and his video they show isn’t porn quality, so what gives? Come on BET, get with it. Me and Derek are 50% of your UnCut viewership. Just as BSG got the reigns to NBATV this week, I want a request put in to where I can run BET UnCut for a while.
When people look back on awards shows, they usually have a memorable quality that sticks out. I honestly can’t think of one unforgettable moment at all. Forgettable, yes, but not unforgettable. Forgettaboutit! My favorite performance if I had to pick was probably the slew of rappers they had together on stage as they would go from Lil Jon to the Ying Yang Twins to Fat Joe to Ludacris to whoever else was running around. Lil Jon needed more mic time when he was on stage for an award. That wouldn’t have hurt things.
Towards the end of the show I really started to get fired up. I realize we have a big election this year, but give me a break. No star is going to convince people to vote in my opinion. Most people don’t vote the way it is. Anyways, they make us watch both the Bush daughters and Kerry daughters fumble through their lines and tell us to vote for their Dads. I always vote and know who I’m voting for this year, but most elections are just picking which liar you think is telling things the best. As Cork said in his latest Blog, “None of them are worth two shits anyways.” I personally like local elections a lot better than this mess. The Bush chicks aren’t bad looking, but the Kerry girls look just like their Dad, and that’s not a compliment. Yet, MTV wasn’t done. Outkast comes out to jam and there is all kinds of political and voting signs waving around. I like Outkast as much as the next dude, but I had to turn the awards off during this joke. MTV, please work on your show for next year. It used to actually be good.
RAW tonight, so of course I’m geared up for that. We’re just a few weeks away from WWE Unforgiven (Sept 12th), so the next few shows should hopefully be huge. What will Triple H do now that Randy Orton spit in his face last week? We’ll also see what goes down now that Kane and Lita are “married”. No matches are announced at the time I’m typing this, so that’ll be a surprise for all of us. I just hope that RAW doesn’t tell me to vote or I’ll have to bust some heads. Or as Eightball and MJG would tell us, and I’ve posted these lyrics before (it has staying power in the Madhouse!), but it’s a catchy tune:
Rappers: Eightball & MJG -- Song: You Don't Want Drama -- Album: Living Legends
[Eightball]
Straight from the underground, fat boy from the mound
Spit it how I live it, keep it gutter, that's how we get down
I wanna see you get it crunk, let a nigga know what hood you from
Eveybody wit me drunk as fuck, break it down, then roll it up
Back it up, a girl like you, a nigga like me can't pass it up
Rollin by, lookin good, put it in reverse then back it up
What's the deal, lemme make it clear what you got rite here
They break mold, one of a kind, fat boy witta gold mouth that shine
Hard to touch, sorry to tell you, boys out here ain't hard as us
Ball and G, part of the streets, cuz the streets are a part of us
Lay it down, please remember, games we don't play them now
Disrespect, please remember, stains we gon spray them round
[Chorus]
Buss a nigga head, smack a ho, shoot the club up
Buss a nigga head, smack a ho, shoot the club up
Bitch...nigga!!!
Bitch...nigga!!!
Bitch...nigga!!!
Bitch..
You don't want drama, no!
You don't want none, no!
You don't want drama, no!
You don't want none, no!
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