Monday, August 02, 2004

Back From The Dirty Dirty

Back from the Dirty Dirty. I got back in from Atlanta last night around 8:00. I have all kinds of topics to get in today, so I can’t mess around one bit. Besides, I’ve not had a Blog up since Thursday, so you are all anticipating the return. Not much of an absence, but still I feel out of the loop, so I best come correct and deliver like the UPS dude.

I drove my car for this trip and somehow I decided to drive the entire trip. How long is the trip? It’s 10 hours each way, so I drove a total of 20 hours. I’m still recovering from not much sleep, but I knew I’d be an idiot. Me and Cork dominated the staying up festivities. At one point, over a span of two days, I slept a whopping 90 minutes and was up for 33.5 of a 36-hour stretch. I’m not sure if I should be happy about that stat or not, but we’re used to it. We also argued over who could stay up for the most amount of hours between us. It’d be a nice battle I think and we’d both end up being sick at the end of it I’m sure. But we're convinced that nobody in this area could even hold a candle to it. I'd take that one to the bank. I’m just due for an all night video game battle with the crew, so if you’re ready for one of those again, hit us up.

The road trip down and up might be the best part of any trip, especially if you have guys you want to go on the trip with you there too. I’m a big map guy, so we screwed around with some map trivia for a while. The biggest city in West Virginia has a whopping 53,000 people. That is downright embarrassing. That’s not even a city if you ask me. We guessed the biggest population cities in each state and guessed how much they had. Some would surprise you. Then of course, any road trip wouldn’t be the same without sports trivia. Bringing along the sports almanac is a must in the car. Naming past champions, MVP, Rookie of the Year, Heisman winners, etc, it’ll kill some good time.

Waffle House! One of the big reasons I wanted to make the trip. We were pumped to visit a Waffle House and it must be a law in the South to have a Waffle House every 5.6 feet. And the more dirty the place, the better the food. That’s one of my theories anyways. We picked the right one if that’s true. We hit up one near Knoxville. It was so dirty that the ceiling was literally leaking on top of my head. I know what you’re thinking. How could I put up with that mess? Because the food rocked and the atmosphere of the place was good times. We had the workers there convinced we drove all the way down from West Virginia just to hit up Waffle House. They ate it up big time and will definitely remember us. And why do they have 57 workers for each of these places? The building is tiny, yet people are all over the place. Cork did have a waitress who wanted him bad though, so a good trip was already beginning.

One thing I notice right away from hanging in the Dirty. South people are much more polite and nice compared to people up here. People up North are punks and they’ll let you know about it too. People down South want to know your life story and will help you out as much as they can. They just want some good conversation and make the world's greatest sweet tea. I’m sure there are punks down there too, but you just don’t see it as often. And I’m big on the accent down there, at least on the chicks. Well, I’m big on any accent actually, so that was cool to see.

I was relieved to be able to get online while at my cousin’s crib. Yes, we’re so hooked to the internet that we can’t go 3 days without it. Sad, I know, but that’s just me telling you the truth. Never used a laptop before, so that took some getting used to, but I could handle one of those. Maybe a cheap one to have downstairs to just sit on the couch with and be online. What else is there to do in the WV anyways? My point exactly. So I might as well live on the internet, hah.

The chick scene down there? That’s one thing I’m depressed to come home for. They were all over the place. No good Italian chicks around, but my #2 was all over the place and that’s the thug girls. I felt like I was in a rap video, so it was good to see for a change. Up here they just don’t exist. If they do, they’re nothing to look at in most cases. As girls in general, I don’t think I’ve seen more smokers than I did on this trip. Ugh. I don’t even want to get started on a smoking rant because I’ll just end up going off the edge. Basically, as everyone knows me already, if you smoke, you’re off my list no matter how hot you may look on the outside. May be mean, but I know what I like, so I’m just honest about it.

The game was one of the best parts of the trip. Turner Field is a very nice stadium and I was impressed. It reminds me a whole lot of the setup of Jacobs Field in Cleveland. For a team that doesn’t get many fans, the game we saw was a sellout, so they got my respect that night. We sat in the 2nd deck directly behind the 2nd Baseman in what were great seats in the outfield. Since it was a sellout and we didn’t want to sit in peanut heaven, we hit up scalper tickets for $35 a piece. A little pricey, but I’d take it for those seats. Braves did get a shutout though, with a 8-0 win and totally destroyed Kris Benson in his Mets debut. What did bug me though was the heat. You guys down South can take that heat and keep it. WAY WAY too hot for me down there. At the game, we were literally soaking wet in sweat just by sitting there. I’m ready for snow already. I know I’m weird in that I like cold weather better, but it’s like hard to breathe down there even. We had to ride a bus back from the game to the restaurant we ate at before the game. That was an experience. Imagine a bus that holds about 50 people. Put 50 more people in there and that’s what you have. Packed in there like sardines. I was standing up on the bus, holding these rails, with people on all sides of me literally pressed up against me. Too bad it wasn’t a chick, but these weren’t good conditions with dudes right in your face. My back was mangulated for sure after hanging on that bar and getting twisted around.

On the entire road trip, we saw a total of 37 state license plates. That’s a good trip in my opinion, but wanted to get some more. For some reason, we saw Maine plates all over and we’re nowhere near Maine. That and we didn’t see hardly any WV plates. We hit up all kinds of music on the way up and down. Since my cousin Ozzie isn’t a huge rap guy, we cut him a break and didn’t listen to rap the entire trip, but of course we had to have some. He’s a country guy, but I wasn’t going to have any of that, but we did get in all sorts of other things in there, so it worked out good. Radio is so much better in the big cities. Here, our radio is a joke for the most part. It’d be ok if we could pick up at least one rap station. I know I’m in a redneck area, but come on now.

A few real fast thoughts and I’ll be out. For anyone with HBO, make sure you catch any of Da Ali G Show if you can. Booya-ka-sha! Or whatever. Since I haven’t had HBO in a while, Cork introduced this one to me and it has to be one of the funniest shows out there today easily. Tonight is RAW night, so of course I’m all jacked up for that. It’s nice to be back into Blog mode, so we’ll have more on a regular basis now that my road trips are probably over for a bit. Who knows though.

And to end with, maybe only the rap guys will get this one, but me and Cork were talking of who would know the answer to this classic line and we didn't figure it was many.. Question is, Who's the man with the master plan? Think on that one and where it came from.. give me an answer in my comments and we'll see what happens.


Anonymous said...

I've never eaten at a Waffle house, though, I live in VA. Sounds like you had a fun time.. I agree with your friend about country... Country is awesome!


Anonymous said...

I am glad you had a fun trip... I am ready for some "cooler" weather..(not to sure about the snow) ;) Take care!


Anonymous said...

waffle house rules. nothing like a big pile of greasy shit to eat in the early morning. and whos the man with the master plan??? Sho' Nuff!!


Anonymous said...

Sounds like a great adventure, bird!!! =)